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Citation Needed


Season: 4

Episode: 13/14

Written by: Thande and Doctor What.

Air date: October 26, 2008 and November 2, 2008

Trivia: Notable for bringing together all the clichés and running jokes on the Board about Wikipedia, most particularly the Creepy Wikipedia Factoids.

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Doc acquires some coordinates from a shadowy figure in the Hub (who turns out to be Hermanubis). The Ship shifts there and finds what Doc was looking for - the huge hollow artificial planet known as the WikiWorld, the greatest resource of knowledge in the multiverse.

The ship docks. To access the knowledge, Doc first needs permission from the Council of Wikimasters - so, with help from Leo Caesius and GBW, he plays to their animé obsession by badly dubbing recordings of the episode DO THE ANIME-TION and giving it to them as a gift. They give him permission.

Meanwhile, Flocculencio has finally repaired his Mecha-Corvette and Dave Howery has repaired the shift-shuttle Mynx VI.

Doc and GBW ride a flying steam engine - the “Search Engine” into the depths of the WikiWorld, looking for Doc's wanted subject - porn. He soon finds there is far too much and he needs more data disks, so radios the crew asking for more. GBW, disgusted at having all this knowledge and just using it for porn, lets slip his purpose, and the entire crew decamps and arrives in five shuttles, including the Mynx VI, looking for the “Porn Mine”. They start transferring the porn data to the disks, and Doc mentions to Hendryk that he can keep control of the porn because only he has the decryption disk that renders it all usable.

The AH.commers are ambushed by one of the Edit Gangs that roam the WikiWorld's undercity - the PoleTrolls. Led by an alternate Molobo and HurganPL, they quickly capture the AH.commers, close and lock all the doors to trap them in the underworld, and destroy four of the shuttles with Congolese Giant Spiders. However, Michael and GBW escape in the Mynx VI, managing to shift out before Hurgan shoots it with a rocket.

The PoleTrolls take the AH.commers for interrogation and, by threatening to destroy the porn disk, Molobo gets the access code to the Ship from Doc. He declares his plan: to first use advanced weapons to take over the WikiWorld, and then to use the Ship to spread word of it throughout the multiverse, so everyone will define their knowledge by a suitably “Poland-friendly” standard.

The PoleTrolls get into the Ship and, with the reluctant assistance of Matt, Doc and Dave Howery, get it working under Borys and Rafi, an Armenian helper. However, Dave is rescued by the Mosquito, and Bobo it turns out was protecting Keira Knightley. They all escape with the help of Leo, who had wandered off in his robot body to read the WikiWorld's Mandaean articles.

Meanwhile, the Mynx VI reappears in a random timeline - crushing a peace conference and starting World War III. Michael decides that the best way to rescue the others is to hire mercenaries - specifically, The Germans. The two find out where they are and go to the relevant timeline - where the Germans have just fought off an enemy attack from the city of Mayor Jolo. Jolo manages to offend Susano and the Germans have to flee after Susano hits him in the balls with a statue of Gustavus Adolphus. They are only saved by the appearance of Michael and GBW, and Susano agrees to help.

Dave, Keira, Leo and Bobo are ambushed by another Edit Gang - the Dissenters, led by Abdul Hadi Pasha and including Emperor Qianlong and Kabraloth. The Mosquito flees. AHP explains that they are the descendants of those who objected to the creation of the WikiWorld, and takes them into the depths.

The PoleTrolls launch their coup, using BFGs, Dave's Canada-conquering Mechs, and - in the case of Human237 - IronYuppie's sex toys. Before them, the Wikimasters' army of Slime Mould Mecha is annihilated - with a little help from the PoleTrollMole, Obserwator. Borys and Rafi use the Ship to seal the WikiWorld's gateway. Molobo is crowned King of WikiWorld, just as the Germans reappear with Michael and GBW and hear his tirade.

Susano replies in kind, and the Kapitan Steffen attacks the WikiWorld, blasting open the gate again and plunging inside. Molobo assembles his army again, but the Germans have a trio of Cyborg Robots with Green Blood, let by Robot0, to challenge them. The Germans defeat the Poles, with Susano beating Molobo in a dramatic swordfight and hurling him into the WikiCore abyss below. Obserwator's attempt to unleash an army of giant (female) blood-sucking mosquitoes is foiled when our own Mosquito shows up again and seduces them.

Susano interrogates Hurgan into learning the location of the AH.commers by 'treating him worse than animals', with a little help from Highlander. The AH.commers turn out to be held in IronYuppie's dungeon, but disaster is averted as, given that Human237 stole all IY's sex toys and torture implements, no-one is psychologically scarred.

Meanwhile, Ran Exilis - captured by the Germans after the events of HAIR TODAY GOTTERDAMMERUNG TOMORROW - escapes, acquires a superintelligent mouse, and flies off in the Mecha-Corvette, renaming it The Flying Dutchman. In this he is aided by Borys, who was attacked by Rafi with Dave's Robot Tanks when he let slip that Molobo intended to backstab him. Dave self-destructs the robot tanks and Rafi is beaten up by Abdul Hadi Pasha.

The Wikimasters made AHP their new leader. Doc is unable to find his decryption disk, thinking it lost…actually Othniel has it, and tries to destroy it, but luakel steals it. Everything seems to have gone right for our young lad for once…UNTIL.

The Germans recruit Kabraloth and Emperor Qianlong and go back to Jolo's universe, Alayta having an idea to satiate Jolo with the Slime Mould Mecha, to use in his algae farms. However, Jolo's planet is under attack once more from the same enemy and the cities are burning, so the Germans leave.

We then learn that the enemy is, once more, the Lesbian Space Marines…



This version of Ran Exilis first appeared in HAIR TODAY, GOTTERDAMMERUNG TOMORROW

The Lesbian Space Marines first appeared in LESBIANS OF DOOM and also in HAIR TODAY, GOTTERDAMMERUNG TOMORROW

Dave's Mechs and Robot Tanks first appeared in HEY HEY, WE'RE THE MONKEYS


Space reserved for notes.

Behind the Scenes

Luakel suggested a Wikipedia-themed episode as early as 2006, but the impetus was not there to write it until Wiki developed the host of forum running jokes it currently enjoys.

Easter Eggs

Space reserved for notes.

stories/citation_needed.txt · Last modified: 2019/03/29 15:14 by

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