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Creepy Wikipedia Factoids

So far there are two of these. They represent strange or classically 'Wikipedian' articles from Wikipedia, posted by Leo Caesius and Emperor Qianlong respectively, to which the members then progressively edit them to make them more and more 'Wikipedian'.

Leo's Factoid

Slime Mould Mecha

In 2006, researchers at the University of Southampton and the University of Kobe reported that they had built a six-legged robot whose movement was remotely controlled by a Physarum slime mould. The mould directed the robot into a dark corner most similar to its natural habitat [Citation needed]. Some argue this technology should be applied to airships. Similar experiments were allegedly conducted by the Ottomans upon the disembodied brains of Armenians in their Death Camps, and by the Nazis upon the Poles in their Death Camps, with less conclusive evidence of any intelligence[citation needed]. The Ottomans discovered that the Armenian brains directed the robot towards a local electrolysis clinic. In Armenia, fungi vaguely similar to slime moulds instead seek broad daylight. Given that Armenia is an overwhelmingly mountainous country, though, this statement is most likely false. However, before the Ottoman genocide, Armenia was a lot larger and included more lands westwards, including Ankara. The same is true about Poland.

! This article or section may contain original research or unverified claims.

! This article or section is in need of attention from an expert on the subject.


The Slime moulds took a prominent role in the 2008 presidential election when Barack Obama promised “Change slime moulds” can belive in. Hillary Clinton struck back claiming experience with slime moulds since she is married to one.

John McCain promised to build a huge army of Slime mould controlled mechas so they could invade Iran, Iceland, Italy, Ireland and every other country starting with a I. Mike Huckabee stated that Chuck Norris can round kick any mecha to pieces. There have been concerns on the influence of the Slime Mould Mecha industry on McCain. Ron Paul criticised the illegal slime moulds comming to the US, promised to kick them out and stated that the lack of gold standard attract the slime moulds to the US.

The Democratic presidential candidate Lyndon LaRouche stated that queen Elisabeth II is a slime mould controlling the international drug trade.

Slime Mould Robotics Prevention

Slime Mould Robotics Prevention is a service offered by the AntiMould California Company. It usually is a package tailored to the needs of the customer to get rid of Slime Mould Mechas, and it has so far reached a 98% success rate despite the inexpensive prices of the AntiMould California company.

Slime Mould Mechas in Feminist Theory

Slime mould mechas are a important part of feminist theory. In fact, slime mould mechas make up the holy trinity of feminist theory together with belief in an oppressive patriarchate and a strong conviction on the benefits of general ugliness. Slime mould mechas connection to the Masters of the Universe prove that they are a important part of the radical feminist theory. We should also note that feminists, Armenians and slime mould mechas have beards.

In the anime series Big Future Commotion, one of the mechanized battle robots in the series is piloted by a slime-mould like creature named Ryuzaru. The robot in the series has eight legs, not six, and does not seek dark corners. Some argue Ruyzaru's existence in the series has a deeper meaning, symbolising the decline of human civilisation in the face of even the most primitive parts of nature.

See also:

-Slime Mould Mechas used during the German Occupation of Poland



-Editing of anime in American distribution

-The Armenian Genocide

Emperor Qianlong's Factoid

Giant spider

Armenia is reportedly known to be home to a giant, four-foot tall spider, according to some natives in the area [citation needed], which would make the spider the largest terrestial athropod ever, because the largest spiders have only been 20 inches long. [citation needed] Unfortunately, it is now thought to be extinct, as many were killed by Turkish troops in the Armenian Genocide and in German camps in occupied Poland during WWII.

However, some Turkish scientist argue, that these species weren't unique to Armenia, but are in fact Turkish Mountain Spiders.

However, the Kurdish biologist Marwan Barzani clarifies that they are in fact Kurdish mountain spiders, as the mountains of eastern Turkey were and have always been part of historic Kurdistan. However, this is almost certainly untrue.

The Chinese government has denounced all of this as foreign lies, claiming they were in fact native to western China, and that they were invented there far in the past. According to them stories of the spiders being where the Turks, Armenians and Kurds claim them to be are merely just that, having been borne along the Silk Road, and that there is no scientific evidence that examples have ever left the glorious motherland.

However Tibetan scientists claim that the ancestor of giant spider originated in the Himalayas,this is disputed by the official Department of Science of North Korea,which claims that the ancestor of the giant spider originated on Mount Peaktu and that the last exemplary died of the same date as Kim Il Sung's death[citation needed],this is certainly untrue. [citation needed]

Use in Genocidal War Crimes

Israel has accused Hamas to secretly breed giant spiders to use them in an insurgence. However, Hamas claims that Israeli scientists are secretly creating nuclear-armed giant spider mecha based on imported Turkish Mountain Spider designs. However, this is obviously untrue as Israel is a hoax.

Scientists assume that the greatest threat in the aftermath of a nuclear war would be the attacks of giant mutated spiders. Apart from tea shortage, that is.

Giant Spiders were reportedly used to clean up the blood of dead Armenians [citation needed]. However, Turkish historians argue that the Turks had nothing to do with this, because Armenian blood is especially tasty to Giant Spiders [citation needed].

Giant Spiders have been described as being “the ultimate feminists”, due to their life cysle involving the eating of males after mating and raising their children by themselves without any assistance from the fathers [citation needed]

An Israeli scientist of Polish-Armenian descent has inserted the silk creating genes of the Chinese silk worm to a giant spider. There is documented video of the genetically modified giant spider creating large spider webs with the strength of silk. There are rumours that one of the technicians who worked on the project has defected to Iran.

Fictional References

Shelob in Lord of the Rings is a giant spider living in mountains. Some argue that the Ephel Dúath mountains are indeed to represent Kurdistan, called Mountain Turkey by Turkish ultranationlists, making Shelob the first Kurdish Giant Spider to appear in fiction. Given that it would represent Armenia, though, that statement is most likely incorrect, and Shelab an Armenian Giant Spider

In the Anime series Digimon, there are Giant Spiders, namely Dokugumon and Arukeminon[citation needed]

Pokemon only has two and they're rather small for a trope about big spiders, but Ariados (the evolved form of the rather cute Spinarak) is still triple the size of a tarantula. However, this is untrue.

Other Wikipedian Wisdom

“Kantubek used to have a population of approximately 1,500, and was the place the former Soviet Union government used to test biological weapons. In the 1930s, experiments were conducted on monkeys. The monkeys turned various shades of purple. The monkeys mysteriously vanished and were never seen again.” (discovered by Thande)

In Fiction

Factoids featured in the The Series Wikipedia-themed episode CITATION NEEDED.

offtopic/creepy_wikipedia_factoid.txt · Last modified: 2019/03/29 15:13 by

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