User Tools

Site Tools


offtopic:hendryk

Hendryk

A self-styled “Certified China Enthusiast” hailing from France, Hendryk’s main goal on AH.com was to spread knowledge of Chinese civilization and share its countless wonders with the Western barbarians, too many of whom still think that world history is the history of Europe and the United States. A goal that would actually stand a chance of being achieved someday if he wasn’t so damned lazy.

His timeline Superpower Empire China 1912 had earned him a 2006 Turtledove Award for Best Early Twentieth Century TL. Tales of the Superpower Empire, an ongoing spin-off series based on his TL, was also awarded Turtledove Awards for best early twentieth century historical fiction in 2007 and 2008.

He has since the emergence of homosexual marriage as a prominent societal issue taken to task those who either through ignorance or (more often) outright deceit claim that marriage is a religious rather than a civil institution. This is likely due to both his brother and sister having got married to their respective spouses in legally valid yet totally non-religious ceremonies, just like hundreds of millions of people worldwide.

His attraction to East Asian women is a matter of public record, and is as notorious in real life as online. It is rumored that he and Flocculencio have divided the world into spheres of influence based on their respective tastes in women.

He has for unknown but possibly sinister purposes covertly released clones of himself, the Hendryklones, into the world. Reliable witnesses such as Thande and Doctor What have testified to seeing them in random locations.

Hendryk is French, but doesn’t make a big deal out of it, reasoning that none of us chose the country we were born in, so any pride about it is unwarranted.

Having taken a long, hard look at Abrahamic monotheism, a religious tradition he himself grew up in, he has found it wanting in terms of spiritual fulfilment and plain intellectual coherence. This made him an outspoken debater on religious issues, until he got banned, and as a condition of his reinstatement, agreed to no longer post in the Chat forum.

Hendryk has like other members of AH.com become engrossed with tv_tropes upon discovering said website, and contributes to it as Cao Cao.


A Tale of Three Bannings

After the first well-behaved years on AH.com, Hendryk started to expose himself as a jerk with weird tendencies, already back in the late 2000s. This gradually spiralled out of control and led to a sorry saga of not one, nor two, but outright three bannings of Hendryk from AH.com. Worse yet, as even the third banning showed, the man seems to have developed a very unhealthy obsession with this site, acommpanied by a desire to spread hate against the board's members.

The original two bannings

In 2011 and early 2012, he was banned twice, in relatively close succession.

The first ban occured in March 2011, when he was banned for trolling and vicious language towards others. After this ban, Hendryk contacted the admin and promised he'd reform. Based on that promise, he was allowed back to the site by Ian the admin, on the condition he'd avoid discussions and arguments in Political Chat altogether (the thing that got him banned that first time). Hendryk might have taken heed of that warning, but he still got himself banned later, for exceedingly nasty behaviour and trolling towards others.

He was banned for the second time in January 2012, during the “Pony Wars”, for doubling down on trollish and jerkish behaviour that got him banned previously. At the time, the demotion of Doctor What as a mod had occured, as well as the (eventually reversed) banning of kilngirl. Hendryk has often abused the notion that these two other members were temporarily punished for uncalled for behaviour as a crutch to defend himself. Arguing that he did nothing wrong himself, despite his repeated offences being much more serious than a one time bout of anger by Doctor What and kilny. When we say “repeated offences by Hendryk”, we mean it. Before he was banned for the first time, he racked up six kicks for trolling, uncivil behaviour. After allowed to return, he had two kicks before his second ban. Not a good track record by any means.

When the second, 2012 ban happened, we thought we'd be rid of Hendryk's bad behaviour for good. Hendryk's abundant knowledge in Chinese history was missed, though his hypocrisy, arrogance and trolling weren't. However, in the years since the banning, AH.commers who are also members of other AH discussion sites had noticed Hendryk tended to frequent those too. More worrying was his behaviour. Even years after the banning, he still continued to obsess about “AH.com injustice”. This should have probably been a warning sign. Then August 2018 happened, and we regrettably realised Hendryk is a lot more nastier individual than we had previously thought.

The August 2018 identity theft scandal and third (indirect) banning

To many people's shock, in August 2018, it was revealed that MrP hadn't returned to AH.com in 2015, as it seemed back then. For whatever reason, after leaving AH.com in 2011, MrP eventually gave his account details to Hendryk. Hendryk then abused the login details, returning in 2015 and pretending to be MrP for over three years. Some people grew suspicious of the fake-MrP when he started behaving in ways that the original MrP never did, even at his most agitated. The account of MrP was banned in August 2018, after developing a sudden habit of racking up kicks and irate behaviour since 2015. At the time of the banning, the fact Hendryk was behind all of this malarkey was not known yet, but that secret got out quickly.

Hendryk's three years od hiding behind MrP's account and lying about his identity to former fellow board members (including the admin) were not taken kindly by the site's community. All the more that shortly after his final (and hopefully, definitive) banning, Hendryk started bragging at other discussion sites (e.g. Sufficient Velocity) about “how he showed AH.com”. Shameful. Even if MrP never intended to use his account anymore, Hendryk made sure that not only did his own account get banned (in 2011), but now also MrP's account (in 2018).

At the time this whole identity theft scandal came to light, Hendryk was in his mid forties. Not exactly the best message a 40-something man can send about himself, given his exceedingly childish, petty and vengeful behaviour. By taking part in this lying to AH.com, Hendryk has emulated the behaviour of once infamous trolls and their sockpuppets from the 2000s era of the site - banned members such as Mike Collins, HelloLegend, etc. People who couldn't take a hint about stopping their petty vendetta against the site. We hope Hendryk is now “proud of himself” for the absolutely atrocious behaviour he's exhibited towards the entire AH.com community, while fostering a highly obsessive victim complex, in which he claims he had not done a single wrong thing.

Many people were also peeved that some members of the site apparently knew about the secret deal between MrP and Hendryk, but didn't bother to divulge it to the moderators, the admin and fellow site members. The whole issue of Hendryk abusing the good reputation of MrP's account, and gradually trolling the site for three years, could have been easily avoided, had they spoken up against Hendryk's shady behaviour. Pro tip for the future: If you learn of someone being a troll disguised by a takeover of someone else's account, report them. Don't keep quiet about it.


Notable works

  • The Chinese Discover America in 1435. An early TL left unfinished.

Claims to Fame

a.) Laws and theorems

The Citroen DS Incident

The Sliding Scale of Alternate History Plausibility

Hendryk's Law, also referred to as Hendryk's Corollary to Godwin's Law, states that, as an online discussion progresses, the probability of someone mentioning George W. Bush approaches one.

The Laputa Syndrome, after the eponymous flying island in Gulliver's Travels, is defined as the idea that one part of an interdependent system may be immune from changes affecting the system as a whole. More specifically, it refers to the idea that the First World, or at least its middle and upper classes, will be able to go through global climate change without a drop in their standards of living.

The Flocculencio-Hendryk Theorem of Comparative Praxis, elaborated, as its name implies, in cooperation with fellow scholar Flocculencio, explains why the Indian and Chinese worlds have reacted differently to the infusion of Western thought systems, specifically Christianity and Communism. In a nutshell, the theorem states that Indians are focused on metaphysical debate, and when faced with a given thought system, will be too busy intellectually picking it apart to do anything much with it. The Chinese, on the other hand, are focused on practical application, and will earnestly try to implement it with ruthless efficiency. As a consequence, while both Christianity and Communism have found safe and harmless niches in Indian culture, in China both have resulted in catastrophic outcomes and high body counts. This is one of the reasons why one should be extremely wary of any progress by fundamentalist Christianity in present-day Confucian societies, whether that of China, Korea or Singapore.

b.) Causes championed

  • Chinese hegemony
  • East Asian women
  • Taiwanese betelnut salesgirls
  • A world with a smaller or ideally absent Abrahamic monotheist influence
  • Social-democracy and assorted fuzzy moderately left-wing causes
  • The right for Americans to benefit from universal health care
  • The right for homosexuals to get married just like the rest of us
  • A fair international order based on the rule of law rather than brute force
  • European integration

Membership in AH.com Societies

A founding member of the Church of Whatianity, he has been elevated by His Holiness Doctor What a.k.a. The Risen One, The Good Doctor, etc. to the position of Archbishop.

At the invitation of its founder Sargon, he has been nominated Vice-President of the Royal and Imperial Society for the Appreciation of Asian Culture & History (RISAACH).

He is also the founder of SEGA, the Society for the Eradication of the Grocer's Apostrophe.


AH.com Peerage

Hendryk has received a Chinese peerage in the rank of a Hou of Nanjing, being the Capital of China in his Superpower Timeline, as which he will be equal to all Margraves, Landgraves, Marquis, Emirs and Rahjas of the Realm, on the grounds of his longstanding and longknown association with all things Chinese and the on the grounds of the Chinese Peerage Crisis as has been discussed in the Parliament of the Imperial Republic of AH.com. He also holds the title of Archclone.


In AH.com Fiction

Played in AH.com The Movie as the ruler of China.

Recurring character in AH.com The Series, in which he is a crew member of the transdimensional ship MES AH.Com. Ostensibly the ship's quartermaster, his actual duties are unclear, but seem to mostly involve toadying to Doctor What.

Part of the cast in Doctor What's Extinction Event, in which he appears under his real name. His love interest in the story also happens to be a former real-life girlfriend of his.

Appeared in Dial M for Elastic as a French warlord in China, assisted by two beautiful concubines from French Indochina called Phuc Mi and Phuc Yu.


Sourcebook Stats

Class: Sinophile

Alignment: That which maintains Equilibrium Under Heaven

Skill bonuses and penalties: Frenchman: -2 con vs Germans; +2 con vs all other Western Europeans (except when led by Wellington), Sinophile: +4 charm vs Oriental Women, Atheist: +4 vs Rome, +3 vs Protestants/Orthodox

Special Ability: Yellow Peril: May summon 1 million Chinese 1x/Month


offtopic/hendryk.txt · Last modified: 2018/08/29 09:28 by petike