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Don't Mention The Porn!


Season: 2

Episode: 26

Written by: Doctor What and Thande

Air date: June 25, 2006

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Chris leaves the CTT.Net Ship in order to visit DMA and the AH.commers. While he is away, though, the Germans take control of the ship and hand it over to one version of Floid, a Hugh Hefner-like figure. On the, it is learned that the Germans infected Chris with a Misspelling Virus that is wreaking havoc on the AH.commers. Doctor What decides to help Chris retake the CTT.Net so that they can force the Germans to give them a cure.

A party of AH.commers infiltrated the CTT.Net, but Matt, Kit and Othniel were captured by the Germans. Floid forced them to act in his porn films, but they each managed to corrupt it in a different way: Kit by perusading the pornstars that Floid had equipped them with unfashionable lingerie, Othniel by evangelism, and Matt by (accidentally) causing the girls to decide they must be lesbians. Meanwhile the other AH.commers freed the crew from captivity and retook the ship, while the ship made several spectacular battle maneouvres due to the fact that the misspelled speech of the bridge crew meant that they couldn't understand each other.

Floid was deprived of all his porn cash and couldn't pay the Germans, so left, a broken man. In the battle, Doctor What's own porn collection on the was also destroyed - with a little help from Othniel.


The episode introduced Chris and the CTT.Net Ship (who would appear again in THE CERTIFIED WRITING MACHINE), and the Germans (who would appear again in HAIR TODAY GOTTERDAMMERUNG TOMORROW). It was also the first episode to feature Thande's catchphrase “Daring Commando Raid™?”, which was coined by Doctor What as a reference to Moonstruck.


It was one of the best received of the second season and also one of the longest, at more than 11,000 words.

Behind the Scenes

The whole episode was a tongue-in-cheek reference to the fact that the real Changing the Times site had had its URL pirated by German porn merchants.

In the first draft, the Pornmaster villain was an alternate of Ward referred to as 'Hefner Ward'. The promotion of Floid (in the first draft, one of Ward's smutwallah minions, then replaced in turn by Satyrane) was an editorial decision by Psychomeltdown, who objected to the idea of Ward having alternates. This also resulted in the removal of the original end scene, which had Hefner Ward being attacked and destroyed by the real Ward and the CF.netters - who then find they've contracted the Misspelling Virus.

This was also the first collaboration between Thande and Doctor What - they decided to team up after both of them independently had the idea to play on the real life German pornographers' takeover of as a Series episode.

stories/don_t_mention_the_porn.txt · Last modified: 2019/03/29 15:14 by

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