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The Ultimate Showdown


Season: 4

Episode: 25/26

Written by: Thande and Doctor What

Air date: February 8, 2009 and February 15, 2009

Trivia: The final two-parter in Season 4 of The Series. Also the overall Season 4 finale.

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The episode opens with a view of Holy Mosaic Earth, capital of the Administratum of Bankind, with its Orbital Control Platform. On board, along with the God-Admin's corpse on his Big Sparkly Chair, are Glen, Agentdark and Krall, who have kept the Admin's death at the hands of a luakel clone secret from the people. Agentdark and Krall have a plan to resurrect him, but it requires the help of ASBs. Glen backs out of their conspiracy at this, but an ASB kills him before he can inform the people.

Meanwhile, the crew are chilling out in the Hub and Dave Howery is celebrating repairing the ship to full capacity. Ian calls Doctor What in for a meeting - he emerges soon afterwards looking shellshocked and yells at the crew to move off. They're followed by the Kapitan Steffen, Mirror Ship and…in formation. Doc explains: Ian has been giving all four ships missions to fight the ASBs, and they have succeeded. So the ASBs have decided to cut their losses and destroy the multiverse - they exist outside time in a perpetual war with the Hub Lords which continues past every Big Bang and Big Crunch. They've done this by fooling the Administratum into protecting them while they detonate an Omega Bomb over the cracks in reality over the Mosaic Earth, causing it to spread through all universes and destroy them. Ian will take the Hub's fleet of Caladian ships and fight the ASB fleet to a standstill, leaving the alliance of four ships to take on the Administratum and stop the bomb.

The fleet of four ships is placed under the command of “Admiral” Ward, while Doc leaves to recruit super-powerful commandoes to go after the Batship with its Omega Bomb. He chooses Super55, The King, and Mike Collins, but pauses to train them enroute on a desert planet.

Meanwhile Ward draws up a plan to draw off some of the Administral fleet by raiding other Administral colonies. However, they don't have enough ships. IronYuppie sees a way to get some, though - they go to the Hollywood world and, with the help of Kani Lingus' Lesbians, infiltrate a newly conquered Lesbian planet (as seen in CITATION NEEDED) and link up with the local Canadian Resistance. They fight the Lesbians, distracting them so IronYuppie can challenge Queen Anactoria to single combat - and, with the help of Jolo's algae farms, wins. Crowned Queen, she orders the Lesbians to raid the Administral worlds for them.

And far far away, Evil MrP, trapped in The Machine, finally manages to set off his signal that calls the Vendetta to him…

The second episode opens with Ian and the Hub Lords fighting the ASBs. Elsewhere, the Lesbians perform their raids and the Administral fleet is halved in size as ships are sent away to respond. Then Ward's fleet jumps in. The's main cannon fails to harm the ASB Batship, so it comes down to a regular fight. Using A.S.S.H.A.T. warheads supplied by the Hub, the four ships manage to damage but not destroy their four Administral counterparts. The saves one for close combat and finally manages to destroy its opponent totally. Then the and team up on another ship, teleporting boarding parties aboard.

The Mynx VI arrives with Doc What (who beams aboard the and the commandoes, who beam aboard the Batship just before the Mynx is destroyed. They are immediately confronted by a shadowy ASB, who attacks them with armies of Nazi Sex Slave Clone Rapists and feminised or ISOTed versions of the other crews.

Another Administral ship attacks the Germans and, while drilling into the hull to send troops on board, kills Max Sinister. The Germans fight back with help from Dave's Canada-destroying Mechs. The Mirror Ship is losing its battle, but the and boarding teams take over the ship they were fighting and turn it against the ship attacking the Mirror Crew, destroying it. However, their own captured ship's core is rapidly melting down, so everyone beams off except Matt and Weapon M - who overhear a transmission from TyrannusZero about how no-one except a select few know the God-Admin is dead.

Weapon M, who is still shaken by the revelation that his Mirror counterpart “lived long enough to become the villain”, tricks Matt into beaming off and then beams on board the Orbital Control Platform, sacrificing himself to blow up the Admin and prove his death to the Administrals. The Administral ship fighting the Germans blows itself up, but the Vendetta arrives and they already knew. Fortunately, the Mercator also arrives and fights the Vendetta to a standstill.

The commandoes finally defeat the ASB and chase it through a portal, leaving them with the bomb. They start to disarm it, but Mike Collins goes psycho and The King has to fight him. Collins and Super55 leave through a portal, but The King has to stay behind to set off the bomb's premature smaller explosion - and there'll be no chance to escape.

Not knowing the progress of the commandoes, the four ships attack the Batship, but automated defences blast the, Mirror ship and Kapitan Steffen into distant dimensions. Only the is left, and Doc orders them to ram, while being chased by a final ISOT torpedo. Finally The King triggers the small detonation, and there's a huge explosion. Nothing remains when it clears.

Aboard the Mercator, a mourning Diamond discovers that amid the tiny bits of debris is the burnt prow of the MES


This episode built massively upon the themes established in many earlier episodes:

The ASB War was first mentioned in AH.COM THE SORTA-KINDA-MAYBE NEXT GENERATION and began in earnest in HARBINGERS.

The King first appeared in THE RETURN OF THE KING and then again in HAIR TODAY, GOTTERDAMMERUNG TOMORROW

The Germans first appeared in DON'T MENTION THE PORN! and also in HAIR TODAY, GOTTERDAMMERUNG TOMORROW, CITATION NEEDED and ZE POORLY-DISGUISED PILOT, in which we learn that they also are being given missions by Ian.


The Administratum of Ban previously appeared in V IS FOR VENDETTA, THE MACHINE and MONTANA HOWERY AND THE MANTLE OF N00B.


The Lesbian-occupied planet (focusing on Canada) seen here was also seen in CITATION NEEDED.

The Mercator was introduced in THE MAPSIAH.

The Hollywood Planet (home of Professor Zoomar) was previously seen in IT CAME FROM HOLLYWOOD, HAIR TODAY GOTTERDAMMERUNG TOMORROW and THE MAPSIAH.


Space reserved for notes.

Behind the Scenes

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Easter Eggs

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stories/the_ultimate_showdown.txt · Last modified: 2019/03/29 15:14 by

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