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offtopic:heterosexual_reconquista

The Heterosexual Reconquista

Founded by Thande after he had some vision or something after observing that Kilngirl and GBW had managed to subvert the natural order of things by introducing 'heteroendo' into Chat.

Since then it has been led by The Bald Imposter in the role of El Cid. Other Reconquistadores include Torqumada, fortyseven, fenkmaster, and EvolvedSaurian.

The Reconquistadores have faced stiff (gahh!!) opposition from the Gaysexualid Emirate, but the war continues apace.

The Reconquista is organised somewhat like the Italian army in WW2, with impressive medals and titles being awarded for every minor feat. One of the most common of these is the Order of the Heterosexual Empire. For example, MrP was awarded the related title Defender of the Keiraist Faith, and he in turn awarded fenkmaster the lengthy title Knight Commander of the Holy Order of Keiraneity.

Ran Exilis was sanctified for starting the Official Pics-of-Gorgeous-Women thread, which remains the Reconquista's best weapon against the dark forces of homoendo.

The Reconquista has faced difficult times in recent ages, with the flank assault of The Mists of Time on the Pics-of-Gorgeous-Women thread and with Baldie objecting to the recruitment of scary stalking American teenagers.

There is something of an ideological divide in the Reconquista between supporters of Keira Knightley and anti-Keiraists (led by Torq who venerates Sweet Victoria), which are vulgarly known in common parlance as the Little-Boobians and the Big-Boobians. A third faction is composed of the Creepy Hetero Teens, who were the ones to scare Baldie off.

The Reconquista received a massive boost on January 31st, 2008, when StrategyGirl joined and she and Eladrimstar posted many mind-blowing photos on the How do you look thread. Sargon, in his capacity as Acting President of AH.com, declared January 31st “Reconquista Day”. (It transpires that the background to this may have been slightly dodgy, but the HR refuses to let that get in the way of a good piss-up).


offtopic/heterosexual_reconquista.txt · Last modified: 2019/03/29 15:13 by 127.0.0.1

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