New York Times Short Movie Reviews, 1995
A Sweet Adaption of a Children’s Classic
Charlotte’s Web is one of those classic children’s novels that’s truly timeless, and Fox Films, partnering with the Disney Creatureworks, brings us a sweet live-action adaption featuring some of the most stunningly lifelike animal effects yet seen (I found myself straining to figure out when Wilbur transitioned from living pig to animatronic!). Starring Ashley Johnson as Fern Arable and featuring the voices of Whoopie Goldberg as Charlotte and Macaulay Culkin as Wilber the pig, the adaptation is a sweet and heartwarming and occasionally bittersweet tale of a young pig who befriends a spider in a way that changes both of their lives[1].
Charlotte’s Web, Rated G, ⭐⭐⭐½
Austen for the X Generation
Fox and Mirage Entertainment bring Jane Austen to 1990s audiences with this faithful adaption of the classic novel
Sense & Sensibility. Produced by Lindsay Doran and written by and starring Emma Thompsen, with supporting roles by Kate Winslet, Hugh Grant, and Alan Rickman, this sentimental comedy of manners hides a dark and biting satirical edge brought to it by director Lizzie Borden[2]. Though the film stays true to the source material, Borden can’t help but slip in subtle commentary on sexual norms, gender relations, and the socially-imposed standards of beauty, behavior, and class that is sure to appeal to the “Grrl Power” generation.
Sense and Sensibility, Rated PG for adult situations, ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Tradition vs. Modernity
Taiwanese director Ang Lee made a splash with his “Father Knows Best” film trilogy of family comedies. And now he takes his sympathetic eye to the Chinese mainland in this first big Shanghai-Hong Kong film collaboration for Smiling Dragon Pictures[3],
Waking Up. This film follows the Lo family of Shanghai, who is struggling to adapt to the changing world around them, a change made all the more surreal when their father Zhong, a survivor of the Cultural Revolution, emerges from a coma after ten years. As Zhong’s family try to catch their father up to the massive cultural and technological disruptions that affect their world, Lee subtly shows us a moment in time as China, personified by Zhong, adapts to the many changes around it. Rumors persist of challenging production beset by government interference as Lee pushed the bounds of Chinese state censorship, with rumors that the Chinese Cut is 23 minutes shorter than the International Cut. Whatever the case,
Waking Up is a dynamic and meaningful film, and a heartfelt exploration of what it means to “wake up” in a new world.
Waking Up, Rated T for adult themes, adult situations, and profanity; ⭐⭐⭐½
A Classic sees the Light of Day
After years of false starts, John Kennedy Toole’s Pulitzer-winning picaresque
A Confederacy of Dunces comes to the big screen courtesy of producer/director Harold Ramis. And with the great John Goodman as its star, the irascible and endearingly unlikeable Ignatius J. Reilly, the film manages to capture the manic feel of the novel and bring to life its set pieces, and yet, as is often the case when adapting a novel as eclectic as
Confederacy, the magic is lost somewhere along the way. Goodman does excellent work in bringing Ignatius to life, capturing the look and feel of the character to an almost uncanny degree. The direction and cinematography are great. The dialog is right out of the book. And yet that je ne sais Quoi is not there. Still, even a flawed adaption of a master work is worth your time, and high marks to Columbia for being willing to take a gamble on a book many feared was “cursed” and a film adaption “unmakeable”. Suffice it to say that while a film version of
Confederacy was likely doomed to disappoint, the film itself is still enjoyable for reasons of its own[4].
A Confederacy of Dunces, Rated T for adult language, adult situations, and mild comedic violence; ⭐⭐⭐
A Modern-Day Bonnie and Clyde
Bloody brilliant director Quentin Tarantino returns as writer/producer/director for Orion’s
Natural Born Killers, another gruesomely violent yet brilliant non-linear tale of violence, agency, fame, and criminality in a film that’s, apparently, the story Christian Slater’s character was working on in Tarantino’s last outing,
True Romance. Will every Tarantino film be so linked? The story follows Woody Harrelson’s Mickey Knox and Uma Thurman’s Mallory Knox as they decide to go on a crime spree, Bonnie and Clyde style. With Tarantino’s now recognizable non-linear style and intimate relationship with crime, violence, and personal psychosis all played with a level of common banality, the results are an understatedly brilliant satire on violence in American culture and the role of the media in glorifying it.
Natural Born Killers, Rated R for graphic violence, adult language, and adult situations, ⭐⭐⭐
A Dark Conspiracy
Fantasia’s
The X-Files got us all believing in dark “men in black” who suppress knowledge about aliens by any means necessary. But what about the world from the perspective of the men in black? Director Richard Donner adapts this
X-Files-like Dark Horse[5] comic for Orion into a tale that follows two “MiB” agents as they hunt down and “neutralize” any civilian who has learned too much about the alien conspiracy. It’s a job that they justify as doing for “the greater good” for the protection of the populace as a whole. But when new Agent Ecks (Hallie Berry) learns that her partners and mentors Jay (Robert Patrick) and Kay (Wilhelm von Homburg) are secretly working on a dark and self-serving mission of their own, she sets out to do what’s right in this twisting narrative that’s one-part conspiracy thriller and one-part spy caper[6]. While not the most standout thriller, it’s none the less a good tale of conspiracy and intrigue and how one defines “good”.
Not this; more like
The X-Files meets
Mission Impossible with a twist of Donner’s
Conspiracy Theory
Men in Black, Rated T for violence, profanity, substance use, and adult situations; ⭐⭐½
He is the Law
Adapting the dark post-apocalyptic story of the self-declared “Judge, Jury, and Executioner” Judge Dredd (played by Dolph Lungren), this violent sci-fi action film directed by Paul Verhoeven reminds one of what
Robocop might have been if it took itself seriously. In the post-apocalyptic far future, the world has crowded into “Mega cities” where crime is so rampant that the “Judges” are appointed to singlehandedly met out “justice” at the barrel of a gun. Violent, dark, and gothic, this Mad Max like tale explores the very notions of justice and law and order, taking some time to consider the morality behind the concept, and Verhoeven even takes the time to use the film as a way of addressing our modern questions about profiling, police brutality, and the alarming rate of young black men who die at police hands. What could have been another empty summer action film is thus elevated into a platform that asks serious questions, though you can’t be blamed for not noticing in the face of all of the over-the-top gory action[7]. This is an easy story to overlook, but take some time to dig deeper, and you’ll find that this is more than just another summer splatter-fest.
Judge Dredd, Rated R for graphic violence, profanity, substance use, criminal activity, and adult situations, ⭐⭐⭐½
Batman Battles Everyone
Just as too many cooks spoil the broth, so do too many villains spoil an otherwise enjoyable popcorn film in this summer’s
Batman: The Penguin’s Gambit. Taking over from the events of the prior film trilogy by Sam Raimi, this fourth outing by director Luc Besson slightly scales back the darkness in favor of more traditional action tropes. Bruce Willis gives Batman/Bruce a more blue-collar vibe, which works for this film when placed against the aristocratic Penguin (Danny DeVito), but clashes with Bruce’s backstory as a child of wealth. And had the plot focused on this dynamic, as producer John McTiernan reportedly wanted, it would likely have worked well. But rumors abound that the studio, still thinking in terms of merchandise (the same reason Raimi allegedly left), reportedly shoehorned in Poison Ivy (Rose McGowan) and Bane (Brian Thompson of
He Man fame) as well, along with Julia Roberts returning as the wheelchair bound Oracle and a brief appearance by Uma Thurmond’s Catwoman. These added characters force the creation of a complex plot surrounding Bane and Ivy’s “Venom” and a new ersatz Robin, Christian Bale’s Jean Veilleux, who briefly takes over as the Batman after events that every comics geek knows, but which I will not spoil here. Whatever the case, while the top-heavy addition of heroes and villains will probably sell a lot of toys and Happy Meals, it dilutes what might have at least been a fun summer action film. Besson and McTiernan, for their part, have reportedly already turned down
Batman 5.
Batman: The Penguin’s Gambit, Rated T for violence, adult language, and adult situations; ⭐⭐½
The Naked Truth
Ethan and Joel Coen are no stranger to the bizarre world of crime and quirky characters, so having them produce the works of equally quirky Florida crime novelist Carl Hiaasen is a natural. Following on from their earlier success with Hiaasen’s
Tourist Season, the Coens produced
Striptease for Hyperion, directed by Ted Raimi. It features Jennifer Jason Leigh as the FBI secretary turned stripper Erin Grant, who wants to get custody of her daughter back from her ne’er-do-well Ex Darrell (Dean Winters in his film debut). She soon gets pulled into a caper involving Congressman David Dilbeck (Burt Reynolds) which, naturally, spirals out in a crazy direction. Ted Raimi proves that talent runs in the family, giving us a fun and fast-paced strange descent into the madness that is the US State of Florida. In the end, this silly, sexy, and surreal story captures the full quirky brilliance that we have come to associate with the Brothers Coen and their friends the Brothers Raimi[8].
Striptease, Rated R for nudity, profanity, adult situations, violence, substance use, and depictions of crime; ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ½
[1] Essentially this takes the place of 1995’s
Babe. It will be a moderate success, making $98 million against a $30 million budget, but will not be a breakout hit. What happens to
Babe? Stay tuned.
[2] Borden will focus on the satirical angles of the original work and push the edge of saying out loud what Austen hinted at, making it a slightly dark and cynical film where the sex is never shown or stated, but right there on the edge. Will make $84 million, being less widely popular without Lee’s sympathetic direction. Where’s Ang Lee? Coming up next!
[3] With the Lotus Plan in full effect, the Chinese Ministry of the Arts made open overtures to Lee and other acclaimed Hong Kong and Taipei directors.
[4] Will make a modest profit on a small budget and get Goodman an Oscar and Golden Globe nomination for Best Actor.
[5] Actually from Aircel and then Malibu Comics, but produced in partnership with Dark Horse Productions. Dark Horse will later buy Malibu in whole.
[6] Will be a moderately successful thriller rather than a sublime summer action-comedy blockbuster and instant classic. I’m under no delusions that I can come up with anything to match our timeline’s lightning-in-a-bottle film.
[7] Judge Dredd was the last film greenlit by Michael Eisner for Hollywood Pictures before he “left” for Columbia. It will perform well and break $150 million against its $65 million budget, but will not be a top five film. Still, it will be fondly remembered by fans and recognized as a better film than it appears on the surface, gaining a cult following and spurring a forgettable sequel. Lungren will be praised by fans for managing to capture Dredd very well, even the darker pathos of the character. Ironically, he was chosen over “big names” like Schwarzenegger or Stallone because Eisner wanted to save money.
[8] Will be a more beloved production by fans and critics alike compared to our timeline, but without the lure of seeing superstar sex symbol Demi Moore naked, it will make a modest profit but not be a $113+ million hit.