Perhaps not but that wasn't entirely the point I was trying to make. If one is going to race change a character there are better choices than a Cold War era Russian spy.
When you Wish Upon a Frog (Book II of the Jim Henson at Disney saga)
- Thread starter Geekhis Khan
- Start date
- Status
Maybe. Nobody said Black Widow has to be a white Russian.
She was. There's a difference between white Russian and White Russian (and White Russian).
"An American Werewolf in America, starring Christopher Lloyd" - SOLD! ITTL me saw this at the cinema, brought the merch, and has it on every format!
"culminating in him getting bit by a wolf when his Trabant breaks down in the middle of Transylvania on a rainy night." - real Monty Python stuff there. John Cleese as his hotel Manager would be an awesome 'in-joke'.
"Even his receding hairline is growing back!" - one reason to get bitten in middle age heh?
"Staci: You were naked when you emerged from the bushes, so I assumed the wolf must have torn them off." - def not the brightest blub there...
"eccentric and thick-accented werewolf hunter Lupu Barbaneagra (Rowan Atkinson" - now that is fun casting. Rowan's Hollywood rise continues.
"They even share some father-son bonding time, such as when they awkwardly sing “Werewolves of London” together in a seedy Karaoke bar." - and his hair was perfect...
I bet "Dr. Timothy Wolfpaw” and “Jon Deep River” have the most interesting merch in their shop - that we can all buy at him as well!
"attempt to develop a cure using their “deep understanding of the herbs of Mother Earth” - I bet more than a few Pot references get in there.
"on a spectacular epic trip to New Mexico through the desert past towering rock formations," - lots of oppotunity for Brooks to get 'artistic' here then.
"When they reach a sketchy roadside motel for the night," - run by Bruce Campbell?
"Lupu wolfs-out and lunges after Devin, but Tom instinctually wolfs out himself and attacks Lupu." - and there is all the budget on screen!
"Suddenly, a sense of peace descends over wolf-Tom, and he assumes a meditative yoga-like stance." - there is a T-Shirt design right there.
"culminating in a Three Stooges like eye gouge and a kick to the balls. Lupu falls over, holding his crotch and literally howling in pain" - Wolfman's got nards!
"Lupu was trying to kill him. “But why is he naked?” asks the cop. “Um,” says Devin, “He’s a pervo?” - good luck explaining the Werewolf thing to a Judge.
"AIDEN screams and WOLF TOM lifts his leg and urinates all over AIDEN and the car interior" - going to be hard to explain that to the insurers...
"making a spectacular $92 million against its relatively small $21 million budget and breaking into the top twenty" - DAMMM Go Mr. Brooks!
"or the more recent Life Stinks, " - something to look forward to ITTL.
“Not only did he say ‘yes,’ but he wanted to co-produce!" - Go Landis.
"leading Landis to take the Paris sequel film to Hyperion!" - really, really hope it turns out better than the OTL mess. American Werewolf does not really need a sequel imho.
"Warren Zevon in particular recruited" - well that's the soundtrack brought as well.
"naturally the Disney Creatureworks would take the lead on effects." - I hope Rik Baker was invovled given the Landis connection?
"It’s also a pretty damned kick-ass werewolf flick!" - and the world needs more of them!
A Howling good chapter there @Geekhis Khan !
"culminating in him getting bit by a wolf when his Trabant breaks down in the middle of Transylvania on a rainy night." - real Monty Python stuff there. John Cleese as his hotel Manager would be an awesome 'in-joke'.
"Even his receding hairline is growing back!" - one reason to get bitten in middle age heh?
"Staci: You were naked when you emerged from the bushes, so I assumed the wolf must have torn them off." - def not the brightest blub there...
"eccentric and thick-accented werewolf hunter Lupu Barbaneagra (Rowan Atkinson" - now that is fun casting. Rowan's Hollywood rise continues.
"They even share some father-son bonding time, such as when they awkwardly sing “Werewolves of London” together in a seedy Karaoke bar." - and his hair was perfect...
I bet "Dr. Timothy Wolfpaw” and “Jon Deep River” have the most interesting merch in their shop - that we can all buy at him as well!
"attempt to develop a cure using their “deep understanding of the herbs of Mother Earth” - I bet more than a few Pot references get in there.
"on a spectacular epic trip to New Mexico through the desert past towering rock formations," - lots of oppotunity for Brooks to get 'artistic' here then.
"When they reach a sketchy roadside motel for the night," - run by Bruce Campbell?
"Lupu wolfs-out and lunges after Devin, but Tom instinctually wolfs out himself and attacks Lupu." - and there is all the budget on screen!
"Suddenly, a sense of peace descends over wolf-Tom, and he assumes a meditative yoga-like stance." - there is a T-Shirt design right there.
"culminating in a Three Stooges like eye gouge and a kick to the balls. Lupu falls over, holding his crotch and literally howling in pain" - Wolfman's got nards!
"Lupu was trying to kill him. “But why is he naked?” asks the cop. “Um,” says Devin, “He’s a pervo?” - good luck explaining the Werewolf thing to a Judge.
"AIDEN screams and WOLF TOM lifts his leg and urinates all over AIDEN and the car interior" - going to be hard to explain that to the insurers...
"making a spectacular $92 million against its relatively small $21 million budget and breaking into the top twenty" - DAMMM Go Mr. Brooks!
"or the more recent Life Stinks, " - something to look forward to ITTL.
“Not only did he say ‘yes,’ but he wanted to co-produce!" - Go Landis.
"leading Landis to take the Paris sequel film to Hyperion!" - really, really hope it turns out better than the OTL mess. American Werewolf does not really need a sequel imho.
"Warren Zevon in particular recruited" - well that's the soundtrack brought as well.
"naturally the Disney Creatureworks would take the lead on effects." - I hope Rik Baker was invovled given the Landis connection?
"It’s also a pretty damned kick-ass werewolf flick!" - and the world needs more of them!
A Howling good chapter there @Geekhis Khan !
I'd say this is quite a lot for what's essentially a stupid joke on my part.
Deleted member 165942
I guess some people need to learn to allow a joke to be funny and not take it seriously.I'd say this is quite a lot for what's essentially a stupid joke on my part.
Charlotte’s Web - well maybe on TV. At least the Disney Creatureworks SFX will be cool.
Sense & Sensibility.- Emma Thompsen, Kate Winslet, Hugh Grant, and Alan Rickman? That's one heck of a cast there. Probably a on-video watch for ITTL me.
Waking Up.- interesting idea. Would probably still be on my 'to get round to watching' list many years later.
A Confederacy of Dunces- highly unlikely to see it, but good for Goodman getting those gongs.
Natural Born Killers,- maybe? I can see Woody Harrelson’ and Uma Thurman doing a great job though.
Men in Black,- that sounds a lot darker than the film with the same name in the poster. Probably ITTL me though.
Judge Dredd,- I can see Dolph Lungren 'getting' Dredd in terms of taking his helmet off etc. Certainly Verhoeven will dial back the excess' of the OTL film and make it a lot tighter, and darker. Definitely a see for me.
Batman: The Penguin’s Gambit,- This sounds just as bad a mess as Batman and Robin was. Probably saw it and left the cinema disappointed.
Striptease- doubt its a cinema movie for ITTL me.
"Dark Horse will later buy Malibu in whole" - well that should give Dark Horse some decent toys to play with.
Good chapter @Geekhis Khan
Sense & Sensibility.- Emma Thompsen, Kate Winslet, Hugh Grant, and Alan Rickman? That's one heck of a cast there. Probably a on-video watch for ITTL me.
Waking Up.- interesting idea. Would probably still be on my 'to get round to watching' list many years later.
A Confederacy of Dunces- highly unlikely to see it, but good for Goodman getting those gongs.
Natural Born Killers,- maybe? I can see Woody Harrelson’ and Uma Thurman doing a great job though.
Men in Black,- that sounds a lot darker than the film with the same name in the poster. Probably ITTL me though.
Judge Dredd,- I can see Dolph Lungren 'getting' Dredd in terms of taking his helmet off etc. Certainly Verhoeven will dial back the excess' of the OTL film and make it a lot tighter, and darker. Definitely a see for me.
Batman: The Penguin’s Gambit,- This sounds just as bad a mess as Batman and Robin was. Probably saw it and left the cinema disappointed.
Striptease- doubt its a cinema movie for ITTL me.
"Dark Horse will later buy Malibu in whole" - well that should give Dark Horse some decent toys to play with.
Good chapter @Geekhis Khan
At least it sounds less like a franchise killer than OTL's alternative. By the way Geekhis, would Young, Abercrombie and Hingle still be present? Also, just letting you know you misspelled Thurman as Thurmond.Batman Battles Everyone
Just as too many cooks spoil the broth, so do too many villains spoil an otherwise enjoyable popcorn film in this summer’s Batman: The Penguin’s Gambit. Taking over from the events of the prior film trilogy by Sam Raimi, this fourth outing by director Luc Besson slightly scales back the darkness in favor of more traditional action tropes. Bruce Willis gives Batman/Bruce a more blue-collar vibe, which works for this film when placed against the aristocratic Penguin (Danny DeVito), but clashes with Bruce’s backstory as a child of wealth. And had the plot focused on this dynamic, as producer John McTiernan reportedly wanted, it would likely have worked well. But rumors abound that the studio, still thinking in terms of merchandise (the same reason Raimi allegedly left), reportedly shoehorned in Poison Ivy (Rose McGowan) and Bane (Brian Thompson of He Man fame) as well, along with Julia Roberts returning as the wheelchair bound Oracle and a brief appearance by Uma Thurmond’s Catwoman. These added characters force the creation of a complex plot surrounding Bane and Ivy’s “Venom” and a new ersatz Robin, Christian Bale’s Jean Veilleux, who briefly takes over as the Batman after events that every comics geek knows, but which I will not spoil here. Whatever the case, while the top-heavy addition of heroes and villains will probably sell a lot of toys and Happy Meals, it dilutes what might have at least been a fun summer action film. Besson and McTiernan, for their part, have reportedly already turned down Batman 5.
Batman: The Penguin’s Gambit, Rated T for violence, adult language, and adult situations; ⭐⭐½
Movies 1995 (part b)
New York Times Short Movie Reviews, 1995 (Cont'd)
Guest Reviews by @Plateosaurus & Mr. Harris:
All of His Complexion
William Shakespeare’s folio is no stranger to being interpreted in different ways thanks to the deep, rich prose. Othello is one that has picked up a particular interpretation in this day and age. While the play is about jealousy and fidelity, it’s now being used by many to commentate on relations between races and ethnicities due to the titular character being a North African man in a White-dominant Venice. The most common interpretation is to make Othello a black man. The latest cinematic adaptation, as released by Columbia, directed by black cinema icon Sidney Poitier, is perhaps the apotheosis of such readings. Moving the setting to 19th century Jamaica and starring Delroy Lindo in the titular role, this version of Othello comes at a crucial time for African-Americans, in the wake of riots and protests caused by tensions with police. While Poitier’s direction generally sticks to the original prose of the play, it’s all presented and performed in a way that explores the heart of why bigotry by ethnicity occurs, such as insecurity in the face of realizing oneself is not the main focus of the world, as this incarnation of the envious Iago (Tim Curry) does. This Othello is a haunting update of the play that borrows as much from the African diaspora’s art and culture as it does with the Bard to superb effect[1].
This, but set in colonial Jamaica
Othello, rated T for moderate violence, sexual content, and deep philosophical topics, ⭐⭐⭐½
Wickedly Compelling
The Good Son[2] director Brian Gilbert sinks his teeth into the slasher genre once more in this modern retelling of William March’s classic 1954 psychological horror novel The Bad Seed. Lead actress Kirsten Dunst[3] imbues the titular bad seed Rhoda Penmark with the same terrifying veneer of wholesome yet deadly cuteness as she did with Claudia in last year’s Interview with the Vampire backed by a strong supporting cast comprised of Sharon Stone (Christine Penmark)[4], Sam Elliott (Colonel Kenneth Penmark), Bill Murray (Leroy Jessup), Kathy Najimy (Monica Breedlove) and others[5]. Gilbert meticulously crafts a haunting tale on whether serial killers are born or made as we’re left to consider whether Rhoda’s evil is the result of her unhinged grandmother or not.
Perhaps the most controversial and talked about scene in the entire film is when Christine kills her daughter with a lethal dose of sleeping pills to ensure that she won’t go on a full-blown killing spree. Rumor has it that the film originally stuck closer to the novel’s ending but poor test screenings with audiences and executives from 20th Century Studios forced Gilbert to change the ending similar to the 1956 version thanks to the Hays Code[6]. The very fact that the scene in question happens on screen with Rhoda’s mother committing the deed no less has caused a firestorm of complaints from self-proclaimed “media watchdog” groups much like Henry’s death in The Good Son.
However you might feel about this movie, the cast (especially Dunst) and the pacing turn this remake of an old novel into a chilling “evil child” classic[7].
Somewhat like this but made in the ‘90s
The Bad Seed, rated R for swearing, violence and adult situations, ⭐⭐⭐½
A Flawed Yet Well-Intentioned Thriller
Jeremiah S. Chechik may be best known for directing the milquetoast comedy National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, but you wouldn't know it the way he directs Seven Sins, a surprisingly scary crime thriller starring Brandon Lee as Detective David Mills, Jamie Foxx as his partner Detective William Somerset, Christina Applegate as attorney wife Tracy Mills and John C. McGinley as SWAT Leader California[8].
Seven Sins’ plot (written by newcomer Andrew Kevin Walker) centers around Mills and Somerset investigating a series of murders throughout Phoenix with a common theme: the Seven Deadly Sins of Biblical folklore committed by a mysterious man known only as John Doe (we’re not going to tell you who portrays him since that is a big spoiler that might ruin your watching experience)[9].
Seven Sins is a dark, gritty film, where Phoenix is a grimy and dusty hellhole rendered cynical and acrid inside and out, and most of the characters are too. It’s all aided by the cinematography by Darius Khondji, which boasts a yellow grey and brown colour palate, deep shadows and colour flashes, and up-close shots, and emphasizes the disgusting aspects of American culture, from crass commercialism to a lack of care for city streets and people. It’s not exactly a film for the faint of heart, but for those who have strong stomachs, you will find an interesting exploration of fanaticism and sin, with incredibly compelling characters. Meanwhile, Brandon Lee and Jamie Foxx boast excellent chemistry together, with Foxx’s Somerset being the kind of man who refuses to bow down to the rank nihilism of those around him, and finally the killer’s actor delivers a chilling performance, a dark reminder most psychopaths are not always so outwardly obvious.
Unfortunately, much of Seven Sins’ potential is squandered with two major problems: it occasionally goes a bit too far in showing the victims’ gruesome deaths without much subtlety, and the climax tries to wrap things up in a neat little happy bow. It only ends up feeling contrived and rather inconsistent with what’s happened before[10], putting this film squarely in the “good but not necessarily great” category[11]. Nevertheless, the good is good while it lasts in Seven Sins, a superb thriller with great concepts, excellent performances, and an aesthetic that commits to the grit.
Kind of like this, but goes off in its own direction by the third act
Seven Sins, rated R for disturbing scenes, violence, nudity, and language, ⭐⭐½
Two Guest Reviews by @jpj1421 and @ajm8888:
Dave
Basically this, but directed by Barry Levinson
Release Date: March 15th, 1995
Director(s): Barry Levinson
Screenwriter(s): Gary Ross
Producer(s): Barry Levinson and Jim Henson
Rating: T
Budget: $30 million
Box Office: $72 million
Cast:
Dave Kovic and President Alfred William “Al” Mitchell - Robin Williams
First Lady Ellen Mitchell - Emma Thompson
Chief of Staff Bob Alvarez - Ben Kingsley
Secret Service Agent Duane Stevenson - Ving Rhames
Assistant Chief of Staff Alan Reed - Gary Cole
Vice President Gary Nance - Kevin Kline
Press Secretary Wayne Gallup - Wayne Brady
Political Cameos: Senator Geraldine Ferraro (D-NY), Senator John Vinich (D-WY), Radio Host Howard Stern, Former Vice President Dan Quayle (R-IN), a few others
Review: Do you want a quirky political comedy where a temporary employment worker decides to impersonate the President and has to continue doing it after the President suffers an actual stroke? Then Dave is the movie for you.
The movie is largely carried by the performance of its lead actor, Robin Williams, who plays Dave Kovic, a man who impersonates President Al Mitchell for a living (also portrayed by Williams) and is hired by Secret Service agent Duane Stevenson (Ving Rhames) to pose as Al at a press conference to cover up his affair with a female staffer. Dave later finds himself having to continue impersonating Al at the behest of Chief of Staff Bob Alvarez (Ben Kingsley) and Assistant Chief of Staff Alan Reed (Gary Cole) after the President falls ill while having sex with the female staffer. Besides having to deal with becoming President, he has to force Vice President Gary Nance (Kevin Kline) to resign and send him to Africa on behalf of the Peace Corps. What follows for our main protagonist is a series of events in which he meets Mitchell’s estranged wife former First Lady Ellen Mitchell (Emma Thompson) at a homeless shelter and successfully reunites the two and exposed a scheme by Bob to implicate him in a scandal over a veto of a public works bill culminating in Dave faking his stroke and letting Mitchell resume his duties as the Commander-in-Chief and President of the United States. Aside from the plot, you have a smorgasbord of cameos from well-known American political and media figures most notably former Vice President Dan Quayle and talk show host Howard Stern.
Fans of Williams will enjoy Dave as he gets to show off his comedic and dramatic chops from his previous work. For everyone else, it really depends whether or not you're in the mood for a story where an average guy gets embroiled in the byzantine world of American politics. Nevertheless, there are some genuine laughs and heartfelt drama to be felt in Dave courtesy of Robin Williams' brilliant acting[12].
⭐⭐⭐
Production Notes: Dave was originally set to film in 1992 under Warner Bros with Ivan Reitman directing, but it was delayed to 1995 due to the studio abandoning the script for hitting too close to home with the then-recent election, in addition to Republican opposition to the VP being “crazy”, which was seen, unfairly, as a swipe at Quayle being dropped from the ticket. And thus, the script ended up with Barry Levinson, who took it to MGM thanks to his connections to Jim Henson. This resulted in the studio rejecting the Aaron Sorkin script “The President Elopes” by As You Wish, who took it to Tri-Star Pictures, becoming An Affair of State.
An Affair of State
Not quite this
Release Date - October 21, 1995
Director(s): Robert Redford
Screenwriter(s): Adam Brooks
Producer(s): Robert Redford
Rating: T
Budget: $56 million
Box Office: $85 million
Cast:
President Andrew Shepherd - Robert Redford
Secret Service Agent Ellen Grissom - Meg Ryan
Vice President Lucy McCulloch - Glenn Close
Secretary of State Bob Rushford - David Paymer
Chief of Staff A.J. MacInerney - Gary Sinise
Assistant to the President on Foreign Policy Lewis Rothschild - Richard Dreyfuss
Review: A perfectly pleasant apolitical romantic comedy about the President of the United States. The movie succeeds on the strength of its likable leads, with director Robert Redford playing President Alan Shepherd, who decides on a foreign trip of nonspecific goal to leave diplomacy in the hands of his hapless Secretary of State, played by David Paymer, in order to live it up one last time before running for re-election. He ends up bringing along Ellen Grissom, played by Meg Ryan, allegedly a reporter who we are expected to believe is the only person on their travels able to recognize the most powerful man on the planet when he’s wearing a hat or sunglasses. Redford and Ryan have charisma, which makes their adventure across Europe mostly work. Of course, the audience quickly learns that Ryan is a Secret Service agent tasked to keep an eye on the President reporting back to a comically serious Vice President Lucy McCulloch, played comically seriously by Glenn Close, and the increasingly overwhelmed Secretary of State whose scenes feel like they’re from a different movie altogether. This sets up the inevitable third act conflict when President Shepherd finds out he never really got away from his security detail and that Ellen has been lying this whole time thus leaving the finale to determine whether the two will reconcile when they return to Washington.
Do the parts of this movie that work make us forget that the President is wasting untold taxpayer dollars for the Secret Service, not to mention Interpol, to live out a midlife crisis? Not really. If you’re willing to check any expectation of what a President should be doing at the door, you may find yourself won over by this throwback to the romantic comedies of yore[13].
⭐⭐ ½
Production Notes: Originally developed by Redford and picked up by As You Wish, with Rob Reiner considered to direct, MGM rejected the script since they were already in production on the superficially-similar Barry Levinson film Dave with Robin Williams. Instead, AYW took the film to Tri-Star and Redford chose to direct it himself, with Adam Brooks giving it a comedic rewrite in the vein of Roman Holiday.
In Brief:
The Sheep-Pig (1996)
From “Eight Mockbusters of the last 25 years Actually Worth Seeing,” CulturePolice.co.uk Netsite, June 26th, 2012
Essentially This, but Low Budget
What it cashes in on: Charlotte’s Web
Notable actors: Phil Davis, voices of Jane Alexander, Morwenna Banks, and Richard Ridings
Whom to blame: Ismail Merchant and James Ivory
Why it’s worth your bloody time:
It’s a surprisingly good family film featuring talking animals that alas will forever be in Charlotte’s shadow. Based on the eponymous children’s novel by Dick King-Smith about a pig raised by a sheep dog that wants to be a sheep dog, The Sheep-Pig uses some frightfully good editing and animal husbandry to make you truly believe that the animals are speaking, even though they lacked the budget to have the fancy animatronics or other methods to imply speech. So even though their mouths don’t in fact move, you can still believe that the pig is talking to the sheep.
This film follows Babe the pig as he attempts to make his way in a career normally assigned to sheep dogs, with Jane Alexander voicing Babe and Morwenna Banks voicing Fly the dog and Richard Ridings as Ferdinand the Duck. Phil Davis plays the human farmer Arthur Hoggett. And, well, despite its budgetary restraints and the difficulty of seeing it without the much-better-known Charlotte’s Web coming to mind, The Sheep-Pig is frankly a sweet and fun story that maybe should have seen a bigger budget and damned well deserved a wider distribution. And The Sheep-Pig is arguably the better production.
While hardly a failure (it was a moderate success in the UK and Australia and NZ and does well on home video) The Sheep-Pig remains a relative forgotten gem, even though it has a devoted fandom and is frankly a brilliant family comedy that is well worth your time. While we Culture Police tend to accentuate the negative (it’s funnier that way) we can’t say a bad word about The Sheep-Pig. Grab a copy for your little nippers today and thank us later.
[1] Will make $15 million against a (higher than in our timeline after a wider release) $15 million budget and thus be considered a bomb, but will get nominated as the Oscars that year for Best Actor (Delroy Lindo), Best Supporting Actor (Tim Curry) and Best Costume and Production Design, with Delroy winning.
[2] To summarize: The Good Son was greenlit in 1987 under 20th Century with the original director due to the trend of “smart slashers” and the desire to make this film stand out from the rest. Additionally, Michael Klesic and Mary Steenburgen are cast as Henry and Susan Evans respectively as originally intended. The film came out in 1989 and is widely considered to be a perfectly fine thriller making a modest profit at the box office and pretty much crystalizing the image of Klesic as “evil child serial killer”. Since the film makes back its budget coupled with 1991’s Not Without My Daughter being slightly more successful at the box office (but not by much), Gilbert is brought on board to direct the 1995 remake of The Bad Seed.
[3] Since Scarlett Johansson is doing Jumanji with Spielberg, The Bad Seed is Dunst’s big 1995 movie instead.
[4] Due to Stone’s commitment to this film, Madonna (who is trying to get her acting career back together) is picked by Martin Scorsese to be in Casino as Ginger McKenna, a role that she was almost cast in our timeline.
[5] Other actors of note in The Bad Seed (1995) include Frances Fisher (Hortense Daigle), David Caruso (Reginald Tasker), Stephen Tobolowsky (Richard Bravo), Cloris Leachman (Emory Wages) and Courtney B. Vance (Henry Daigle).
[6] Gilbert shot the film with the original ending of Rhoda Penmark getting away with her crimes. However, test audiences did not like this ending and studio interference pressured Gilbert into shooting a new ending in which Christine successfully kills Rhoda with pills onscreen as opposed to the 1954 version which had a lightning bolt kill her. The original ending will be made available on VCD similar to Little Shop of Horrors in our timeline.
[7] The film performs somewhat better than The Good Son and Not Without My Daughter grossing $69 million on a $47 million budget and met with good-to-decent reception from critics although it’s far more profitable on home video.
[8] Aside from McGinley, the principal cast of this timeline’s Se7en is comprised of actors that weren’t considered for these roles or in the cases of Applegate and Beatty were offered these roles.
[9] With Kevin Spacey out of the picture due to his sexual abuse scandal, the role of John Doe goes to Ned Beatty, who in our timeline was the first choice for the role but turned it down because he considered it too disturbing, dark and evil when he was handed the script. This is not the case here because Beatty is given a different version of the script that has Doe killed and having more action thriller elements (especially in the third act). Beatty’s performance will be more of a cranky, bigoted grandfather compared to Spacey’s version.
[10] The ending of Seven Sins is a composite between the one where Doe doesn’t kill Mills’ wife and the shootout at the burning church with Somerset forced to kill Mills so he doesn’t become “Wrath” from earlier drafts of the screenplay. Also, Chechik was sent the revised version of the script instead of the original due to far reaching first and second-order butterflies affecting the entertainment industry.
[11] Unlike our timeline’s Se7en, Seven Sins will be #9 at the box office grossing $242.5 million on its $33 million budget (behind Jumanji) since Waterworld is not a big budget A-movie released that year with Kevin Costner. It will have its fans, but without Fincher’s direction, Spacey’s exceedingly creepy performance as John Doe, and the impact of the head-in-the-box twist ending, it will be seen as a decent-to-good thriller, just not one of the all-time greats.
[12] Broadly the same movie with the cynicism of Levinson and the optimism of Ross. Aside from the different cast and the fact that the President that Dave Kovic is impersonating is “Al Mitchell” instead of “Bill Mitchell” since Al Gore is President of the United States. As there are improvisations in both our timeline’s and this timeline’s iterations, the movie will be tonally different with Williams’ energy rather than Kline’s cool comedy. Dave is also Robin Williams’ big 1995 movie in this timeline since Tom Hanks is doing Jumanji.
[13] This movie is completely different from The American President, as Rob Reiner and Aaron Sorkin took the movie in a dramatically different direction than Redford had in mind. Here the writer of our timeline’s French Kiss gets scooped up to write a movie of the President deciding to bounce during a European trip of unspecified objective and falls for the Secret Service Agent that goes along with him pretending to be a reporter keeping a lid on the ‘scoop’ until it’s over. It’s Roman Holiday but with the genders swapped. Kind of like a mix of French Kiss, The American President, and the Mandy Moore “classic” Chasing Liberty. The third act conflict is when the President discovers that his love interest is not only a Secret Service Agent, but has been reporting back to the VP and Secretary of State which the audience already knew.
[14] Vaguely parallel to Crystal’s Forget Paris in our timeline.
[15] Became (obviously) Apollo 13 in our timeline. Without Ron Howard’s sentimentality (recall he’s directing Casper for Fantasia) it will be a more technical film that none the less does very well based on effects and excitement alone, though it will not be a top-five hit.
[16] More or less this timeline’s Tommy Boy.
[17] More or less this timeline’s Billy Madison.
[18] Tim Burton and Danny Elfman hooked Spike up with the TftC crew and they made it an official part of the franchise, which helped put more butts in seats making for a more successful box office. The Crypt Keeper will wear a sidewise hat and a broken clock around his neck (stuck at midnight) and talk in ‘90s street-slang (“What’s up, Homies? Besides me from the grave! Ehehehehehehe!” “Party at my Crypt, yo. It’s where all the Chronic Sick end up eventually! Ehehehehehehe!”). Since you asked, @Unknown.
(Image source YouTube)
[19] More on this by @Nerdman3000; Coppola’s having a busy few years for sure between this and Annie and The Road to Ruin!
[20] Without X-Files he’s getting funneled into sex comedies rather than sci-fi stuff. As an admitted sex addict, it’s a role that he’s good at.
Guest Reviews by @Plateosaurus & Mr. Harris:
All of His Complexion
William Shakespeare’s folio is no stranger to being interpreted in different ways thanks to the deep, rich prose. Othello is one that has picked up a particular interpretation in this day and age. While the play is about jealousy and fidelity, it’s now being used by many to commentate on relations between races and ethnicities due to the titular character being a North African man in a White-dominant Venice. The most common interpretation is to make Othello a black man. The latest cinematic adaptation, as released by Columbia, directed by black cinema icon Sidney Poitier, is perhaps the apotheosis of such readings. Moving the setting to 19th century Jamaica and starring Delroy Lindo in the titular role, this version of Othello comes at a crucial time for African-Americans, in the wake of riots and protests caused by tensions with police. While Poitier’s direction generally sticks to the original prose of the play, it’s all presented and performed in a way that explores the heart of why bigotry by ethnicity occurs, such as insecurity in the face of realizing oneself is not the main focus of the world, as this incarnation of the envious Iago (Tim Curry) does. This Othello is a haunting update of the play that borrows as much from the African diaspora’s art and culture as it does with the Bard to superb effect[1].
This, but set in colonial Jamaica
Othello, rated T for moderate violence, sexual content, and deep philosophical topics, ⭐⭐⭐½
Wickedly Compelling
The Good Son[2] director Brian Gilbert sinks his teeth into the slasher genre once more in this modern retelling of William March’s classic 1954 psychological horror novel The Bad Seed. Lead actress Kirsten Dunst[3] imbues the titular bad seed Rhoda Penmark with the same terrifying veneer of wholesome yet deadly cuteness as she did with Claudia in last year’s Interview with the Vampire backed by a strong supporting cast comprised of Sharon Stone (Christine Penmark)[4], Sam Elliott (Colonel Kenneth Penmark), Bill Murray (Leroy Jessup), Kathy Najimy (Monica Breedlove) and others[5]. Gilbert meticulously crafts a haunting tale on whether serial killers are born or made as we’re left to consider whether Rhoda’s evil is the result of her unhinged grandmother or not.
Perhaps the most controversial and talked about scene in the entire film is when Christine kills her daughter with a lethal dose of sleeping pills to ensure that she won’t go on a full-blown killing spree. Rumor has it that the film originally stuck closer to the novel’s ending but poor test screenings with audiences and executives from 20th Century Studios forced Gilbert to change the ending similar to the 1956 version thanks to the Hays Code[6]. The very fact that the scene in question happens on screen with Rhoda’s mother committing the deed no less has caused a firestorm of complaints from self-proclaimed “media watchdog” groups much like Henry’s death in The Good Son.
However you might feel about this movie, the cast (especially Dunst) and the pacing turn this remake of an old novel into a chilling “evil child” classic[7].
Somewhat like this but made in the ‘90s
The Bad Seed, rated R for swearing, violence and adult situations, ⭐⭐⭐½
A Flawed Yet Well-Intentioned Thriller
Jeremiah S. Chechik may be best known for directing the milquetoast comedy National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, but you wouldn't know it the way he directs Seven Sins, a surprisingly scary crime thriller starring Brandon Lee as Detective David Mills, Jamie Foxx as his partner Detective William Somerset, Christina Applegate as attorney wife Tracy Mills and John C. McGinley as SWAT Leader California[8].
Seven Sins’ plot (written by newcomer Andrew Kevin Walker) centers around Mills and Somerset investigating a series of murders throughout Phoenix with a common theme: the Seven Deadly Sins of Biblical folklore committed by a mysterious man known only as John Doe (we’re not going to tell you who portrays him since that is a big spoiler that might ruin your watching experience)[9].
Seven Sins is a dark, gritty film, where Phoenix is a grimy and dusty hellhole rendered cynical and acrid inside and out, and most of the characters are too. It’s all aided by the cinematography by Darius Khondji, which boasts a yellow grey and brown colour palate, deep shadows and colour flashes, and up-close shots, and emphasizes the disgusting aspects of American culture, from crass commercialism to a lack of care for city streets and people. It’s not exactly a film for the faint of heart, but for those who have strong stomachs, you will find an interesting exploration of fanaticism and sin, with incredibly compelling characters. Meanwhile, Brandon Lee and Jamie Foxx boast excellent chemistry together, with Foxx’s Somerset being the kind of man who refuses to bow down to the rank nihilism of those around him, and finally the killer’s actor delivers a chilling performance, a dark reminder most psychopaths are not always so outwardly obvious.
Unfortunately, much of Seven Sins’ potential is squandered with two major problems: it occasionally goes a bit too far in showing the victims’ gruesome deaths without much subtlety, and the climax tries to wrap things up in a neat little happy bow. It only ends up feeling contrived and rather inconsistent with what’s happened before[10], putting this film squarely in the “good but not necessarily great” category[11]. Nevertheless, the good is good while it lasts in Seven Sins, a superb thriller with great concepts, excellent performances, and an aesthetic that commits to the grit.
Kind of like this, but goes off in its own direction by the third act
Seven Sins, rated R for disturbing scenes, violence, nudity, and language, ⭐⭐½
Two Guest Reviews by @jpj1421 and @ajm8888:
Dave
Basically this, but directed by Barry Levinson
Release Date: March 15th, 1995
Director(s): Barry Levinson
Screenwriter(s): Gary Ross
Producer(s): Barry Levinson and Jim Henson
Rating: T
Budget: $30 million
Box Office: $72 million
Cast:
Dave Kovic and President Alfred William “Al” Mitchell - Robin Williams
First Lady Ellen Mitchell - Emma Thompson
Chief of Staff Bob Alvarez - Ben Kingsley
Secret Service Agent Duane Stevenson - Ving Rhames
Assistant Chief of Staff Alan Reed - Gary Cole
Vice President Gary Nance - Kevin Kline
Press Secretary Wayne Gallup - Wayne Brady
Political Cameos: Senator Geraldine Ferraro (D-NY), Senator John Vinich (D-WY), Radio Host Howard Stern, Former Vice President Dan Quayle (R-IN), a few others
Review: Do you want a quirky political comedy where a temporary employment worker decides to impersonate the President and has to continue doing it after the President suffers an actual stroke? Then Dave is the movie for you.
The movie is largely carried by the performance of its lead actor, Robin Williams, who plays Dave Kovic, a man who impersonates President Al Mitchell for a living (also portrayed by Williams) and is hired by Secret Service agent Duane Stevenson (Ving Rhames) to pose as Al at a press conference to cover up his affair with a female staffer. Dave later finds himself having to continue impersonating Al at the behest of Chief of Staff Bob Alvarez (Ben Kingsley) and Assistant Chief of Staff Alan Reed (Gary Cole) after the President falls ill while having sex with the female staffer. Besides having to deal with becoming President, he has to force Vice President Gary Nance (Kevin Kline) to resign and send him to Africa on behalf of the Peace Corps. What follows for our main protagonist is a series of events in which he meets Mitchell’s estranged wife former First Lady Ellen Mitchell (Emma Thompson) at a homeless shelter and successfully reunites the two and exposed a scheme by Bob to implicate him in a scandal over a veto of a public works bill culminating in Dave faking his stroke and letting Mitchell resume his duties as the Commander-in-Chief and President of the United States. Aside from the plot, you have a smorgasbord of cameos from well-known American political and media figures most notably former Vice President Dan Quayle and talk show host Howard Stern.
Fans of Williams will enjoy Dave as he gets to show off his comedic and dramatic chops from his previous work. For everyone else, it really depends whether or not you're in the mood for a story where an average guy gets embroiled in the byzantine world of American politics. Nevertheless, there are some genuine laughs and heartfelt drama to be felt in Dave courtesy of Robin Williams' brilliant acting[12].
⭐⭐⭐
Production Notes: Dave was originally set to film in 1992 under Warner Bros with Ivan Reitman directing, but it was delayed to 1995 due to the studio abandoning the script for hitting too close to home with the then-recent election, in addition to Republican opposition to the VP being “crazy”, which was seen, unfairly, as a swipe at Quayle being dropped from the ticket. And thus, the script ended up with Barry Levinson, who took it to MGM thanks to his connections to Jim Henson. This resulted in the studio rejecting the Aaron Sorkin script “The President Elopes” by As You Wish, who took it to Tri-Star Pictures, becoming An Affair of State.
An Affair of State
Not quite this
Release Date - October 21, 1995
Director(s): Robert Redford
Screenwriter(s): Adam Brooks
Producer(s): Robert Redford
Rating: T
Budget: $56 million
Box Office: $85 million
Cast:
President Andrew Shepherd - Robert Redford
Secret Service Agent Ellen Grissom - Meg Ryan
Vice President Lucy McCulloch - Glenn Close
Secretary of State Bob Rushford - David Paymer
Chief of Staff A.J. MacInerney - Gary Sinise
Assistant to the President on Foreign Policy Lewis Rothschild - Richard Dreyfuss
Review: A perfectly pleasant apolitical romantic comedy about the President of the United States. The movie succeeds on the strength of its likable leads, with director Robert Redford playing President Alan Shepherd, who decides on a foreign trip of nonspecific goal to leave diplomacy in the hands of his hapless Secretary of State, played by David Paymer, in order to live it up one last time before running for re-election. He ends up bringing along Ellen Grissom, played by Meg Ryan, allegedly a reporter who we are expected to believe is the only person on their travels able to recognize the most powerful man on the planet when he’s wearing a hat or sunglasses. Redford and Ryan have charisma, which makes their adventure across Europe mostly work. Of course, the audience quickly learns that Ryan is a Secret Service agent tasked to keep an eye on the President reporting back to a comically serious Vice President Lucy McCulloch, played comically seriously by Glenn Close, and the increasingly overwhelmed Secretary of State whose scenes feel like they’re from a different movie altogether. This sets up the inevitable third act conflict when President Shepherd finds out he never really got away from his security detail and that Ellen has been lying this whole time thus leaving the finale to determine whether the two will reconcile when they return to Washington.
Do the parts of this movie that work make us forget that the President is wasting untold taxpayer dollars for the Secret Service, not to mention Interpol, to live out a midlife crisis? Not really. If you’re willing to check any expectation of what a President should be doing at the door, you may find yourself won over by this throwback to the romantic comedies of yore[13].
⭐⭐ ½
Production Notes: Originally developed by Redford and picked up by As You Wish, with Rob Reiner considered to direct, MGM rejected the script since they were already in production on the superficially-similar Barry Levinson film Dave with Robin Williams. Instead, AYW took the film to Tri-Star and Redford chose to direct it himself, with Adam Brooks giving it a comedic rewrite in the vein of Roman Holiday.
In Brief:
- Desert Lightning: The Louis Tewanima Story: Disney brings us the forgotten and painful story of Hopi Olympic Runner Louis Tewanima as he found escape and spiritual connection through running; ⭐⭐⭐
- For Your Love: Hugh Grant and Sandra Bullock maintain fun chemistry in this romantic comedy; ⭐⭐⭐
- Gator Bait: Six obnoxious teens’ vacation in the Everglades turns to terror in this darkly humorous creature feature about a giant killer alligator; ⭐⭐
- Get Shorty: Barry Sonnenfeld teams up again with John Travolta to bring the Elmore Leonard satirical crime novel to the big screen; ⭐⭐⭐
- Jumping through Hoops: Billy Crystal and Rebecca Schaeffer team up for this cliched but sentimental romantic comedy about an NBA referee and an Art Dealer[14]; ⭐⭐½
- Lost Eagle: Robert Zemeckis[15] brings us the harrowing true story of the ill-fated Apollo 13 lunar mission starring John Travolta, Gary Sinise, and Ed Harris; ⭐⭐⭐
- Operation Dumbo Drop: Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith’s brilliant chemistry breathe life into an otherwise forgettable Disney war comedy about Green Berets air-delivering an elephant during the Vietnam War; ⭐⭐
- Rocky Road: Chris Farley and David Spade play two brothers struggling to keep their father’s company afloat in this road trip comedy[16]; ⭐⭐½
- Schoolboy: Adam Sandler goes back to school…elementary school…in this goofball Hyperion comedy[17]; ⭐⭐
- Tales from the Hood: Spike Lee teams with the Crypt Keeper[18] to bring supernatural vignettes straight out of the Hood; ⭐⭐
- The Assassination of Julius Caesar: Francis Ford Coppola brings Old Hollywood splendor in this Old Hollywood Epic, sure to command the Oscars[19]; ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Triple-Play: David Duchovny[20], Neve Campbell, and Jenifer Tilley star in this sexy Cameron Crowe relationship comedy about a Major League pitcher caught in a love triangle; ⭐⭐⭐
- Yellow Dog: Chevy Chase plays and voices a liberal politician turned into a golden lab in this goofy Hollywood Pictures comedy; ⭐ ⭐
* * *
The Sheep-Pig (1996)
From “Eight Mockbusters of the last 25 years Actually Worth Seeing,” CulturePolice.co.uk Netsite, June 26th, 2012
Essentially This, but Low Budget
What it cashes in on: Charlotte’s Web
Notable actors: Phil Davis, voices of Jane Alexander, Morwenna Banks, and Richard Ridings
Whom to blame: Ismail Merchant and James Ivory
Why it’s worth your bloody time:
It’s a surprisingly good family film featuring talking animals that alas will forever be in Charlotte’s shadow. Based on the eponymous children’s novel by Dick King-Smith about a pig raised by a sheep dog that wants to be a sheep dog, The Sheep-Pig uses some frightfully good editing and animal husbandry to make you truly believe that the animals are speaking, even though they lacked the budget to have the fancy animatronics or other methods to imply speech. So even though their mouths don’t in fact move, you can still believe that the pig is talking to the sheep.
This film follows Babe the pig as he attempts to make his way in a career normally assigned to sheep dogs, with Jane Alexander voicing Babe and Morwenna Banks voicing Fly the dog and Richard Ridings as Ferdinand the Duck. Phil Davis plays the human farmer Arthur Hoggett. And, well, despite its budgetary restraints and the difficulty of seeing it without the much-better-known Charlotte’s Web coming to mind, The Sheep-Pig is frankly a sweet and fun story that maybe should have seen a bigger budget and damned well deserved a wider distribution. And The Sheep-Pig is arguably the better production.
While hardly a failure (it was a moderate success in the UK and Australia and NZ and does well on home video) The Sheep-Pig remains a relative forgotten gem, even though it has a devoted fandom and is frankly a brilliant family comedy that is well worth your time. While we Culture Police tend to accentuate the negative (it’s funnier that way) we can’t say a bad word about The Sheep-Pig. Grab a copy for your little nippers today and thank us later.
[1] Will make $15 million against a (higher than in our timeline after a wider release) $15 million budget and thus be considered a bomb, but will get nominated as the Oscars that year for Best Actor (Delroy Lindo), Best Supporting Actor (Tim Curry) and Best Costume and Production Design, with Delroy winning.
[2] To summarize: The Good Son was greenlit in 1987 under 20th Century with the original director due to the trend of “smart slashers” and the desire to make this film stand out from the rest. Additionally, Michael Klesic and Mary Steenburgen are cast as Henry and Susan Evans respectively as originally intended. The film came out in 1989 and is widely considered to be a perfectly fine thriller making a modest profit at the box office and pretty much crystalizing the image of Klesic as “evil child serial killer”. Since the film makes back its budget coupled with 1991’s Not Without My Daughter being slightly more successful at the box office (but not by much), Gilbert is brought on board to direct the 1995 remake of The Bad Seed.
[3] Since Scarlett Johansson is doing Jumanji with Spielberg, The Bad Seed is Dunst’s big 1995 movie instead.
[4] Due to Stone’s commitment to this film, Madonna (who is trying to get her acting career back together) is picked by Martin Scorsese to be in Casino as Ginger McKenna, a role that she was almost cast in our timeline.
[5] Other actors of note in The Bad Seed (1995) include Frances Fisher (Hortense Daigle), David Caruso (Reginald Tasker), Stephen Tobolowsky (Richard Bravo), Cloris Leachman (Emory Wages) and Courtney B. Vance (Henry Daigle).
[6] Gilbert shot the film with the original ending of Rhoda Penmark getting away with her crimes. However, test audiences did not like this ending and studio interference pressured Gilbert into shooting a new ending in which Christine successfully kills Rhoda with pills onscreen as opposed to the 1954 version which had a lightning bolt kill her. The original ending will be made available on VCD similar to Little Shop of Horrors in our timeline.
[7] The film performs somewhat better than The Good Son and Not Without My Daughter grossing $69 million on a $47 million budget and met with good-to-decent reception from critics although it’s far more profitable on home video.
[8] Aside from McGinley, the principal cast of this timeline’s Se7en is comprised of actors that weren’t considered for these roles or in the cases of Applegate and Beatty were offered these roles.
[9] With Kevin Spacey out of the picture due to his sexual abuse scandal, the role of John Doe goes to Ned Beatty, who in our timeline was the first choice for the role but turned it down because he considered it too disturbing, dark and evil when he was handed the script. This is not the case here because Beatty is given a different version of the script that has Doe killed and having more action thriller elements (especially in the third act). Beatty’s performance will be more of a cranky, bigoted grandfather compared to Spacey’s version.
[10] The ending of Seven Sins is a composite between the one where Doe doesn’t kill Mills’ wife and the shootout at the burning church with Somerset forced to kill Mills so he doesn’t become “Wrath” from earlier drafts of the screenplay. Also, Chechik was sent the revised version of the script instead of the original due to far reaching first and second-order butterflies affecting the entertainment industry.
[11] Unlike our timeline’s Se7en, Seven Sins will be #9 at the box office grossing $242.5 million on its $33 million budget (behind Jumanji) since Waterworld is not a big budget A-movie released that year with Kevin Costner. It will have its fans, but without Fincher’s direction, Spacey’s exceedingly creepy performance as John Doe, and the impact of the head-in-the-box twist ending, it will be seen as a decent-to-good thriller, just not one of the all-time greats.
[12] Broadly the same movie with the cynicism of Levinson and the optimism of Ross. Aside from the different cast and the fact that the President that Dave Kovic is impersonating is “Al Mitchell” instead of “Bill Mitchell” since Al Gore is President of the United States. As there are improvisations in both our timeline’s and this timeline’s iterations, the movie will be tonally different with Williams’ energy rather than Kline’s cool comedy. Dave is also Robin Williams’ big 1995 movie in this timeline since Tom Hanks is doing Jumanji.
[13] This movie is completely different from The American President, as Rob Reiner and Aaron Sorkin took the movie in a dramatically different direction than Redford had in mind. Here the writer of our timeline’s French Kiss gets scooped up to write a movie of the President deciding to bounce during a European trip of unspecified objective and falls for the Secret Service Agent that goes along with him pretending to be a reporter keeping a lid on the ‘scoop’ until it’s over. It’s Roman Holiday but with the genders swapped. Kind of like a mix of French Kiss, The American President, and the Mandy Moore “classic” Chasing Liberty. The third act conflict is when the President discovers that his love interest is not only a Secret Service Agent, but has been reporting back to the VP and Secretary of State which the audience already knew.
[14] Vaguely parallel to Crystal’s Forget Paris in our timeline.
[15] Became (obviously) Apollo 13 in our timeline. Without Ron Howard’s sentimentality (recall he’s directing Casper for Fantasia) it will be a more technical film that none the less does very well based on effects and excitement alone, though it will not be a top-five hit.
[16] More or less this timeline’s Tommy Boy.
[17] More or less this timeline’s Billy Madison.
[18] Tim Burton and Danny Elfman hooked Spike up with the TftC crew and they made it an official part of the franchise, which helped put more butts in seats making for a more successful box office. The Crypt Keeper will wear a sidewise hat and a broken clock around his neck (stuck at midnight) and talk in ‘90s street-slang (“What’s up, Homies? Besides me from the grave! Ehehehehehehe!” “Party at my Crypt, yo. It’s where all the Chronic Sick end up eventually! Ehehehehehehe!”). Since you asked, @Unknown.
(Image source YouTube)
[19] More on this by @Nerdman3000; Coppola’s having a busy few years for sure between this and Annie and The Road to Ruin!
[20] Without X-Files he’s getting funneled into sex comedies rather than sci-fi stuff. As an admitted sex addict, it’s a role that he’s good at.
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Great adaptation, I really like the location change too.
This sounds like an interesting movie, especially with Dunst givin6it her all and the gut punching on screen euthanasia.
Sounds like this version of Seven couldn't live up to it's full potential.
Especially the change to have it end on a happy note will undo the dramatic potential of the film. Glad that Brandon Lee can get some Hollywood lead roles tho.
Also I guess Christmas Vacation isn't the undisputed holiday classic it is today yet.
I hope that Hyperion doesn't end up as the unofficial Adam Sandler studio.
Coppola is bringing back the Hollywood Epic and I'm all here for it.
Ironic how Babe ends up as the cheap copy while Charlotte's Web is the childhood classic. Still it sounds like it's just as enjoyable as the OTL movie despite the shoestring budget. That will do pig, that will do
So this version is kind of a forgotten movie? I kinda expected because let's be real that would've happened to the OTL too if it didn't star Macaulay Culkin at the height of his career.
Another reason why this version of Seven didn't take off, I think it probably clashes with the rest of the movie when it shows all these disturbing deaths and then reveals that your elderly racist neighbour did it.
Spacey's Doe is just not replaceable.
Can't wait to see that!
Great chapter everyone!
God Curry as Iago sounds delicious. As hammy and as magnificently camp as he can be, I feel a lot of people forget that Curry is also a really good actor in general and phenomenally creepy when he wants to be. His turn in Criminal Minds still sticks out in my mind, and I wasn't even a regular watcher of the show. All of these movies sound really interesting, it would definitely be hard for me to pick one to go and see if I was alive back then.
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