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A sub-human form of life, thought to have originated in Nigeria, although they have now spread worldwide. Unfortunately.

The most prolific type of spammer to plague, Phonespammers mindlessly flood the forum with threads advertising “UNOLCKEDD NDKOIA X-23958 FOR JSUT $4 DOLARS, RESPUTINABURBLE COMPAGNRRE 100 THE QUEEN STREET ENGLANFDIANLAND” and similar. Along with mobile phones, iPods commonly feature.

Many Phonespammers have afflicted the forum, although there is no proof that they aren't all the same dribbling, demented moron in Lagos.

Burton K Wheeler gave the archetypal name “Charles Akawele” as the signature on fake spam, and this has often been adopted as a name for spammerkind. Nekromans has suggested that the worst possible combination would be “Charles Akawelskian”, a half-Polish, half-Armenian spammer.

See also Kill Claiming.

There was also this one guy who attempted to sell new identities as well as diplomatic IDs. How he would he possibly seel you this is not known, due to nobody actually purchasing his wares.

Other Spammer types

Less common spammer types include:

  • Those who spam with PMs advertising websites (e.g. StrategyGirl)
  • Those who put spam posts on the end of stickied threads in Off-topic
  • Oilspammers: mobltd, the lone online edible oil salesbot.
  • Chinaspammers: colours
  • Buddhaspammers (notable for stalking Ran Exilis)
  • Shoespammers: nike100
  • Russian Ropespammers: hoosomswoopsy
  • Mimicspammers: Leona74 and her gals, who just repeat random sentences from earlier in the thread.

Famous Spammer Quotes

  • Average wow!
  • Would you like to know more about China?
  • I'll support your haha
  • Prodigious Britain (based on a mistranslation of 'Great' Britain)

In fiction

In Luaky Commer, Thande used the Phonespammers of Azerbaijan as the equivalent of the Dementors of Azkaban in the original. They are capable of administering the Phonespammer's Kiss, which consists of spitting iPods into a victim's mouth until he chokes. Phonespammers can be driven off by the Spamfilterus Charm and their spine-chilling effects undone by taking genuine prescription Viagra.

They are the direct (and apt) equivalent of Warhammer 40 000's Tyrannids in Banhammer 40k, where they are known under the name “Spammerids”.

Phonespammers also occasionally feature in Thande's Wars spoof. They exist mainly so that IronYuppie can snap their necks.

See Also

offtopic/phonespammers.txt · Last modified: 2019/03/29 15:13 by

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