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“Sometimes I think you're Dave Howery's illegitimate son, and that is the second most disturbing thought I've ever had.”-Unknown

Dedicated Ameriwanker, Catboy's brevity does not take away his ability to throw some clever one-liners; these, plus his simple interest in his own nation, make him a interesting poster. He also has a tad frequency to be annoying to others. But this has improved to good-natured teasing. He hopes.

Catboy's Sig, a very personal sign of his beliefs


Catboy has been known to anger Canadians over his want to annex them. He was attacked by various high up Canadian members on a thread. He evened things out, and now shows no anger to Canada.

Teddy Roosevelt

Catboy worships TR. He considers him a deity, with the ability to kill anything and is immortal. Others have also followed this route, ableit with less insane dedication. RogueBeaver has called this devotion “Catboy's TR athletic cult”.


Catboy was originally a conservative, but has become more of a fiscal conservative-social liberal by now. He despises the Tea Party for its actions and ruining conservatism for him. He rarely does anything seriosu in Chat, only making quick one-liners or stating the obvious. This is because he usually has no idea what is going on.

Found in

Catboy frequents the ASB forums, Non-Political Chat and occasionally Chat. He visits Post-1900 to somtimes update Three Seconds Late.


Catboy's first TL was a cooperative one with Vultan about an anti-Catholic fascist America, but it failed soon after it's creation. He then after created Guns of the Irish, where the IRA is given M1 Abrams in the 1800's. That ended in failure as well. He had a one-post TL about Custer dying earlier in life. Catboy's current project is the TL Three Seconds Late. The premise involves Adolph Ochs being born three seconds later than OTL, meaning he further supports Robert Goddard. Goddard's rockets are made into military application due to this. Other PODs include a Rykov-run USSR under the NEP, American Mexico, and Hitler getting a harsher sentence in jail. It was greeted with negative reception, and Catboy created a more realistic version which he now updates.

Catboy also recently began writing “Knight of the Wastes” in the Writer's Section.

Other Members

Catboy has made friends been tolerated by not had attempts on life made by most of the board . He had a secret, unseen rivalry with A_Die_Hard_Confederate., and cheered inside when he learned he was banned. Vultan followed his Ameriwank style, while Catboy is on good terms with Blue Max.


Catboy is obssesed with zombies. This stems from him reading the Zombie Survival Guide, so now he's a fanatic. This is noted by board memebers duly, though some (Fenrir_Angerboda) find him insane with it. This leads to some using him as a joke frequently. Catboy himself also frequently mentions M1 Carbines and machetes.


Appeared as a friend of Big Tex in in “Black Moon over Virginia”. Later appeared in the season finale of Season I as a ship member on HUCK's ship. He was revealed to have held one of the keys to 4chan. He was also in the episode “Dis'topia Ain't Big Enough for the Both of Us!” as a supporter of President Randolph Parker.

Famous quotes and one-liners

“How did we get to racist elves?”

“Since when did Nazis use sense or logic?”

“I never read threads.”

“Too bad ponies enslaved humanity.”

On his notorious shilling of Ameriwank : “I'm not ignorant, I'm patriotic!”

“We get to see Nazis, Soviets, and Americans fighting zombie lizards from space. Are we in a bad 50's sci-fi movie?”

"Sir, they're the SWISS! We can't invade, magic spell!"

“Water boils at 112 and I'm not changing for anybody!”

On General_Mung_Beans:“He's like HAL from Space Oddessy. I'm afraid I can't do that, Ian.”

“If Jesus comes back in Jerusalem, he's gonna have to use Hashasheen's computer.”

“Diet Conservatism:For the health concious conservative.”

On the Iranian Space Program launching animals into space:“It should've read 'Brave Animals Make Daring Escape from Iranian Regime'

“Bears will eat Obama!”-Later was actually adopted by the AFA. Catboy's reponse-“Holy fucking shit!”

Bill Clinton:“Holy pancakes, this makes me look like Queen Elizabeth!”

“Obviously, Elvis is alive and solving asthma with chemistry.”

“Back To The Future 4:Kim Jong Il Continues to Neglect His Country's Poor”

”'Furher, is that a bunny?' 'Uh…no, it's an Aryan bunny!'“

“Oddly enough, that's their new tourism slogan:Japan, It's Like a Bad Acid Trip!”

“I find God, Cthulu, and Mario all influence my decisions.”

On someone's birthday-“Happy Birthday! I have no cake! (Or an explanation as to why there is no cake.)”


Blue_Max: You caused the entire universe to implode!

Catboy: Yes, but echnically, I win!

The_Bald_Imposter: Never change, Catboy.

Catboy: I won't, I'm a conservative!

Catboy: I'm American, all I know is freedom and democracy!

Nietzsche: I would sig that if it didn't make me cringe so violently.

Solomaxwell6:Besides Catboy, I don't think there's any illerates on the board.


Thande:And wanking is half the timeline.

Midnight77:The other half is space-filling empires.

“MOJOJO, do you just Google monkeys and homosexuality all day?”

offtopic/catboy637.txt · Last modified: 2019/03/29 15:13 by

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