MOVIE REVIEW: Catherine de Valois (2014) dir. Belén Macías.
Rate: 2/10. Didn’t even try to be accurate.
Earlier this week, I decided to take my butt to the cinema and finally watch this Oscar-bait. Since the first trailer was released, I’ve received countless requests to please review it, and I knew I couldn’t put it off any longer once the local drive-in announced they would stop showing it next week. And I know I just won’t be able to find it on the internet easily, so here we are. Neither one of us wanted this, but we must be grown-ups and do it. Rip off the bandaid and what-not.
Queen Catherine with a lady-in-waiting and a nun.
So let’s begin: Catherine de Valois is a Spanish-French movie about the life of a young girl torn between two great countries. It’s a direct sequel to the French movie, La Reine Catherine (1994), or the Queen Catherine, about Catherine I of Navarre and the St. Bartholomew's Day massacre. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised later to learn that the actress portraying Queen Catherine in her adulthood, Irene Salas, is the daughter of Catherine Bourbon’s actress from La Reine Catherine; Isabelle Cortes. Isabelle Cortes also appeared in this movie, more on that later. Their resemblance really helped my submersion, although it was already almost non-existence.
I knew coming in it wouldn’t be great, and expectations were almost non-existent, but boy, was I shocked to find myself almost revolted with this attempt. The film starts with a flashback to the kidnapping of Catherine de Valois in Agen, modern-day France. Thankfully, we are spared from seeing the death of Catherine de Bourbon, although we do hear a four-year-old girl crying and screaming for her Maman as a strange man dressed in black rides away with her, so, we still saw some gruesome content.
This flashback really is the end of the historical accuracy, to be honest. Soon after, it cuts to the wedding between Catherine (now an adult and the Queen of Navarre after her mother’s death) and her Spanish-betrothed, Philip of Asturias in 1590. Philip is heir to the Spanish throne and the son of the man who ordered her kidnapping and the death of her mother, Philip II of Spain. The movie does score in pointing that Catherine hates her husband and his father, although Philip didn’t hate her as he does in the movie. If I recall correctly, he was indifferent to her, and only used her for breeding purposes. To hate her would mean that he cared about her at all, which he didn’t. He preferred the company of his mistresses, the most important of whom, María de Osorio, is shown here portrayed by Blanca Suárez.
Catherine’s only ally in the Spanish court was Queen Elisabeth, portrayed by the incredible Michelle Winston, who is Spanish despite her English-sounding name, who was both King Philip’s wife and his niece, gross. I sort of liked this portrayal of their close relationship, although Elisabeth more often than not took her husband’s side in the matters regarding the Queen of Navarre, not otherwise. Also, Philip of Asturias called Queen Elisabeth his mother, and was, by all intents and purposes, a really loving son, unlike what the movie portrays. His biological mother, Elizabeth of Valois, died when he was just one year old, after all, and he had known Elisabeth of Austria since he was three.
One other thing that I really hated was how they maintained the same actress throughout the movie, because, although Irene is a great actress, it failed to show how young Catherine really was. In fact, my wife was shocked when I told her that Catherine was fourteen years old when she got married. She was so young that the consummation of her marriage was postponed for two years (the movie shows it being consummated immediately), as there were concerns for her health, and their first child would only be born in 1593.
But, anyway, after the wedding, Philip of Asturias is crowned King-consort of Navarre as Philip IV. The movie shows his coronation happening immediately after the wedding, but it was actually two months later, something I’m willing to forgive. Unlike what the movie says, Philip of Asturias was now of equal-rank to his father and was treated as such, as both he and Catherine remained at the court in Madrid. He was entitled to use the Navarrese coat of arms, but he rarely did, thinking Navarre was insignificant when compared to his holdings in Asturias, in northern Spain. Although his ancestors had spent decades clawing it away from France, Philip didn’t care about Navarre and only visited it once after his wife’s death.
The Coat of Arms of the Kingdom of Navarre.
The movie shows Catherine writing letters to her cousin, King Henry III of France, portrayed by the beautiful Louis Garrel, asking him to help her against her husband. It’s mentioned that Henry and Catherine were engaged once, as their shared grandmother, Catherine de’ Medici, intended to merge the French and Navarre crown again, but this changed after the young Queen was taken by the Spanish. Henry, as shown in the movie, is happily married to Philip of Asturias’ younger sister, Mary Eleanor, and mostly ignores his cousin’s letters. To be honest, I don’t really know why Henry is in this movie, he doesn’t do much, but I’m guessing he’s there so his marriage can serve as a parallel to Catherine and Philip.
Halfway through this movie, we are introduced to the dashing Duke of Alba, Antonio Álvarez de Toledo. He is young, handsome, and very charming, especially towards Catherine de Valois. A romantic song plays whenever he makes an entrance, which got old really fast, and he finds any way possible to kiss Catherine’s hands. When he first appeared, I thought, Oh no.
I didn’t think Oh no because I was extremely in love with him. I’m not into men. I thought Oh No because, well, a woman can’t be powerful if she doesn’t cheat on her husband. Which is what happens. Catherine de Valois, famous for trying to gain the independence of her country, for learning the Basque language in her early twenties and teaching it to her children, for being extremely religious and modest has an affair. I almost screamed when Alba and Catherine first kissed, because this didn’t happen! Anthony and Catherine never had an inkling of a friendship, let alone a romantic relationship. He paid his respects to her, as a ruling queen, but nothing beyond that. Catherine, in fact, disliked him after the ascension of her husband in 1593 because he was one of the leaders in the movement to unite all Spanish kingdom, Navarre included, into one official crown.
Two months of blissful lovemaking in the castles of Spain later, and Alba is sent to serve Philip II’s youngest son, John, in Flanders. This is very painful to Catherine because she is pregnant with his child, who is born a few scenes later. Everyone at court believes the baby, a girl, is Philip of Asturias’ daughter and she is named Luisa, after a common ancestor of her legal parents, Louise of Savoy. During the birth, Queen Catherine has a vision of her mother by her side. Catherine I looked aged and assisted her daughter in breathing and pushing her child, making it seem that she was still alive, even if it was just for one moment. This was a touching scene that made my wife aww as we watched, although I am made of a more cynical stone.
The movie ends on a somewhat happy note, as Alba writes frequent letters to Catherine, promising to return, although he doesn’t know about his child. Catherine makes a promise to herself that she will not let herself be destroyed by men, and that she will raise her child to one day be Queen of an independent Navarre. Very beautiful, and very untrue.
Infanta Louise by Juan Pantoja de la Cruz.
First things first, although Princess Louise was the eldest child of her parents, she wasn’t born until 1593, as mentioned before, and that was more than one year after Alba left Spain for Burgundy. Louise definitely wasn’t the love child of Catherine and Alba and she actually resembled her father a lot. She was one of the more fortunate bearers of the famous Habsburg jaw, or mandibular prognathism, that couldn’t have been inherited if she wasn’t Philip’s child. Louise was so like her father, in fact, that her mother refused to accept naming her after herself. Louise’s younger sister, the more Valois-looking Infanta Catalina, would be the one to have such honor.
Also, Louise was never truly considered to be an heiress for an independent Navarre. She had two younger brothers. Why would she be a ruling Queen if they lived?
So yes. This movie is bad. Don’t watch it, unless you like the aesthetic and are into hurting yourself. The only good part of this movie is the adorable little infantas, Margaret and Joan, younger sisters of Philip of Asturias. They were very funny, I must admit.
Thank you for reading this and I’ll see you next week on another movie review here on Art of History.
Olga of Kiev.
(also, the costumes suck).