Laughin' Place: Redefining Disney

[HeX]

Walt Disney Studios, Burbank, CA
September 2, 1979

George Lucas was back at it again, working with Lawrence Kasdan to finish up the script (Leigh Brackett, the first writer, had died of cancer the year before) for The Empire Strikes Back, with some help from producer Gary Kurtz. Lucas' own wife, Marcia, would be helping edit the film, having taken a hiatus from his films with Raiders but was now itching to come back.

"We're shipping out for Norway to start filming for Hoth in February, so I'd like to have this script finished a bit before then," instructed Lucas, reclining in his seat.

"I think we're pretty close to finishing it, George," said Kasdan. "Maybe one more treatment, but I think it's looking really good already. The 'No, I am your father' twist at the end is phenomenal, I wasn't expecting it at all."

Lucas beamed. "I know, it was a fun segment to write. But I want that under wraps. No one--not even the actors--can know about Vader being Luke's father. There are only four souls on the planet who know the secret, and three of them are here in this room."

"Who's the fourth guy?" asked Kurtz.

"Walt."

"Oh, that reminds me, George. How's the merger going between LucasArts and Disney?"

"Good, good. They're actually starting construction on the new building for LucasArts and ILM across Riverside Drive right now."

The three men looked out the window, and sure enough a ways away men in hard hats and working cement mixers scurried around beneath towering cranes, constructing the foundation of the building.

"Walt told me that that was the spot he'd originally planned his first theme park to be, before his ambitions outgrew half-an-acre."

Gary Kurtz turned. "Now there's an idea. If Empire does as well as A New Hope, you might have a big enough Star Wars galaxy to make a theme park."

"Oh no, I don't think that'll be happening anytime soon. I've seen some of the ideas for the next Disney theme park. It's going to be in Florida, and the project is to be headed by Marc Davis. It's really cool, and if WDI keeps churning out original ideas like that, there's no place for movie tie-ins."

"I dunno," shrugged Kurtz. "Walt might be swayed by the idea of a flood of new guests, here to see the new Star Wars Land at the Magic Kingdom..."

Lucas laughed. "Nah. Walt's not like that. He doesn't care about the attendance numbers or ticket sales. He just wants to have fun, and not have anyone boss him around while doing it. I admire that in him."

"So you don't see Star Wars at the Disney Parks?" ventured Kasdan.

"Not anytime in the near future. There's just no place a Star Wars ride or land would thematically fit, and a whole theme park is too much to ask of Walt right now."

"Guess that settles that," said Kasdan, taking a sip of his drink.

"I guess it does," replied Lucas, gazing out the window at the studio below.

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Paramount Studios, Hollywood, CA
September 7, 1979

Barry Diller's office was cluttered with papers, documents, and old tapes. It was a miracle he could find anything in all the mess, but the man had an impeccable filing system in his mind. It was a shame he had too much on his mind to use that system.

"I'm sick and tired of playing third-fiddle to Disney and Universal. For Paramount to make it in the big leagues, we need to be more aggressive! Competitive! You all can see how big science-fiction is getting again, with Star Wars and Alien. We're predicting outstanding numbers at Star Trek: The Motion Picture's opening weekend. So I say we throw more weight behind Star Trek: Phase II!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but there's not much more we can do," said Jeffrey Katzenberg. "The show's still in pre-production, and even if we did start filming the Paramount Television Service isn't going to be operating until 1981 at the earliest."

Diller sighed. "At least we're doing better than the jokers at Fox. They're really putting all their eggs in Heaven's Gate's basket, aren't they?"

Katzenberg nodded grimly. "And from what I've heard, the production is way over budget and the film is turning out... poorly. Maybe they can make it better in editing, though."

"Hopefully. It would be a shame to lose an ally in the fight against Disney," mused Diller.

"Yes, it would. Though, they are our competition, too. So... it's a win-win for Paramount, really."

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Universal Studios Lot, Universal City, CA
September 10, 1979

Michael Eisner was finally confident in Universal Pictures. It was the very first time he'd ever had the feeling that he and his studio were unstoppable.

And it was all because of Woody Woodpecker.

Sure, it was no Beauty and the Beast or The Snow Queen, or even Mickey Mousecapade. But it was still really good. His nine-year-old son Breck had enjoyed it a lot, and so had Eisner himself, which he figured was as good a gauge as any to measure Woody against. Had Disney been releasing an animated movie around the same time, there was no way Universal's would be able to stand up to it. But 1979's holiday season was practically empty, except for Paramount's Star Trek: The Motion Picture, which Eisner wasn't too worried about. They were completely different genres, and Woody Woodpecker was geared more towards kids, while Star Trek to pubescent boys.

Michael Eisner didn't even want to think about Atari, though. The developer hadn't had the best half-a-decade, being outdone by Disney every step of the way, except in the home console market, where the Atari 2600 was crushing all other competition. But in the arcades, it was lights out, unless Asteroids could pull a rabbit out of its hat.

Hopefully, that might happen.

 

[HeX]

Royal Albert Hall, London, UK
October 12, 1979

Four men sat ready in total darkness, adrenaline pumping through their veins. This was their first live performance since their legendary rooftop concert in 1969, and their first true live concert since 1966.

John Lennon glanced around. The concert wasn't scheduled to begin for another few minutes, but he could feel all five-thousand five hundred and forty-four pairs of eyes trained down on him through solid ground. The stage had been built up a bit from the actual floor, to allow the band a grand entrance with smoke and mirrors and all of that stuff.

"You nervous?"

John looked over at Paul McCartney. "Kind of. I don't really know why, we're all seasoned performers, but I'm just... jittery. It's like we're all twenty-something kids back in the Cavern Club again."

"I know how you feel. I was still doing things with Wings and going solo and all of that... but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, too."

"Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats!" boomed the announcer above.

"That's our cue," said George Harrison.

"Everyone, get to your spots!" commanded Ringo Starr. "We don't want to mess this thing up."

Stagehands scurried around the four, handing John, Paul, and George their guitars. Ringo flipped his drumsticks a few times, and then gripped them tightly.

"I would just like to take a moment to thank you all for coming out here to London tonight. Thanks to your contribution efforts, we have totaled almost sixty thousand pounds so far, all for the benefit of the refugees from the Vietnam War!"

A stagehand with a headset on stood in front of all four band members. She raised her right hand, with three fingers held up. "You're on in three..."

"And so, without further ado--"

"...two..."

"We give you the most famous musical group in the world--"

"...one. You're on!"

The ground beneath John, Paul, George, and Ringo rose as the ceiling above opened. The men were immediately blinded by the stage lights and deafened by the roaring crowd.

"The Beatles!"

Paul looked at John. "You ready?"

John nodded, grabbing the microphone before him. "Let's do this."

The musical heroes all waved to the crowd, and looked skyward. John leaned in, and belted out the first lyric to one of his most from-the-heart songs he'd ever written: "Help!"

And with that, legends were reborn.

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Programme for The Beatles Reunited Benefit Concert

October 12/19/26 1979

London • New York • Tokyo

--

Act One​

Help!
Twist and Shout
All You Need is Love
Ticket to Ride
Maxwell's Silver Hammer
Revolution
Back in the USSR
Strawberry Fields Forever
Helter Skelter
Here Comes the Sun

Intermission​

Act Two
​

Come Together
Yesterday
Eleanor Rigby
Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds
Yellow Submarine
Octopus' Garden
While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Hey, Jude
Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
The End...?
Always and Forever

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When the Beatles came back in 1979, the music world was shocked to its core. Perhaps the greatest and most influential musical group of all time, which had split up into four just-as-influential solo artists, was ready to take planet Earth by storm. No musical comeback was ever more successful, either. The Beatles' return forever altered the course music had been taking during the 1970s, and brought in a revolution in sound. Movements like punk and pop fell to the wayside as the Beatles revived an interest in the rock 'n' roll of the 1960s and the new heavy metal sound they'd helped create with 'Helter Skelter'. The solo artist nearly went extinct overnight in the face of bands like the Beatles, Queen, and AC/DC, with only big names like Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson, Bruce Springsteen, and later breakout star Madonna surviving and thriving.

It seemed as though bands were here to stay, and many singers that could have made it in a solo career had the Beatles not returned wound up creating their own bands to merely compete in the running.

The Beatles performed one new song during the benefit concerts, named 'Always and Forever'. It was dedicated to the idea that the Beatles would always be united even if all the members weren't making music together; it also symbolized the Fab Four's willingness and ambition to return as one group. The song came as a complete surprise, not listed among any of the programmes for the show until after the fact, though the official name change of 'The End' to include '...?' raised a few eyebrows before the concerts began.

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"We broke a million pounds during the Reunited Benefit Concert, if you put all the ticket sales of every night in every location together. And that's bloody insane. In today's money, that's something like... five million pounds? Whatever it was, it was a huge amount, and I think we realized right then and there that the Beatles would be sticking around for a good long while, not just for the refugee concerts."
--Paul McCartney, from an interview with The Howard Stern Show, August 3, 1997

"Seeing the Beatles come back was really quite inspiring. They were some of my favorite artists when I was young, and seeing them all back and making music together again was amazing. Later on, when we [Queen] met them, we were all surprised to see that they not only loved our music, but they'd based their new sound on our styles! It was surreal."
--Freddie Mercury, from a August 25, 2016 interview with Rolling Stone Magazine

 

[HeX]

Walt Disney Studios, Burbank, CA
October 21, 1979

Claude Coats took a sip of his coffee, cradling the styrofoam cup in his hands and looking over his work. The shiny new overview of Marc Davis' planned theme park for Florida was finally complete after two months of work. At first, Claude had had to split his time between EuroDisney and this, but the Italian park had gone into full construction mode a month ago, with all designs and drawings for the park finished.

Claude didn't really mesh well with Marc. Sure, it wasn't as though he hated, or even disliked, the guy, but the two were polar opposites. Claude was cool, calm, and collected, preferring to focus on landscapes and backgrounds for the Disney Parks. Marc, on the other hand, was a ball of hot fire, injecting humor and character into his art like no one else. Walt was the only person that somehow could get their two styles to not only work together, but compliment each other. The Haunted Mansion, the Western River Expedition, New Horizons, and both versions of Pirates of the Caribbean were very much both Imagineers' baby, in that regard.

Tony Baxter, Claude Coats' former protégé and now Imagineer in his own right, stuck his head in. "Hey, Claude. Do you have any--whoa, what's that?"

"This?" asked Claude. "It's top secret. I can't tell you."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Oh, c'mon, just tell me. For old times' sake. I promise I won't spill the beans."

"You promise?"

Tony nodded his head vigorously.

"Alright, get your ass over here," sighed Claude, and his fellow Imagineer bounded over. "This is Marc Davis' proposal for a new theme park in Disney World. It's very hush-hush, 'cause Walt wants all main efforts focused on following through on EuroDisney."

Tony nodded. "Makes sense. What's its theming?"

"Well, the park is named Oceania, and the idea is that its lands are tied together by their shared relationship with the sea."

Tony Baxter surveyed the map. The center of the park was a large pool of water, and the lands surrounded the lagoon in a ring around its edge. There were about a half-dozen themed areas, each of which were so captivatingly beautiful and unique it was hard to tear one's eyes from the paper.

"I really like that land," he said, pointing to what appeared to be a turn-of-the-century waterfront amusement park. "And... is that Discovery Bay?"

Claude grinned. "Indeed it is. I figured it fit the bill perfectly, and since most guests at Disney World won't ever go to EuroDisney, it'll be unique for them, too."

The rest of the lands leapt off the page. The snowy slopes of a mountain overlooked a bay ridden with icecaps. A volcano rumbled menacingly. A quiet little New England fishing village sat at the entrance, the icon of the park just a ways out: a massive candy cane-striped lighthouse, beckoning to guests to come right in and make themselves at home.

"I love it," said Tony. "If I'm being honest, I may like it better than my own EuroDisney."

Claude shrugged. "Well, you're limited by the fact that yours has strict rules to follow as a 'castle park'. Marc was free to let his imagination run wild."

"I suppose so. Hey, have you heard any word on when the new expansions are going to go up at Disney World? Stuff like Pirates and the Imagination Pavilion."

"I think... I want to say they're all coming in 1982 at the latest. So, that's about... two years? More than enough time for the guys who built all of Disneyland in a year."

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Walt Disney's Office, Burbank, CA
October 30, 1979

"Hello, Walt Disney speaking. ...Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Mister Nakamura, you have nothing to worry about with Asteroids. Galaxian is much better and I promise we'll have it out before Atari does. ...No, I--sorry, I have another call. Can you hold, please?"

Walt Disney spun his wheelie chair around and pressed a button on the phone, putting on whoever was on the next line.

"Walt, hi, it's Martin Scorsese, producer on Hood."

"I know who's producing my movie, Martin. What's up? How's post-production going?"

"Well, it's pretty much okay, but I had a few ideas for reshoots and I was wondering... how much do you think we could get away with before the MPAA rates the movie 'R'?"

Walt hesitated. "Well, I don't want the film to go overboard... try to find that Jaws sweetspot. Hell, call up Steven if you have to. I'm sure he'll be wanting a break from shooting Close Encounters."

Scorsese agreed. "Okay, so Jaws is setting the bar? That sounds like a plan. Trust me, this film will be the one to prove Disney is stepping out of the 'kiddie entertainment' shadow."

"Exactly as I wanted."

"Exactly."

"Martin, I'm going to have to let you go. I've got Masaya Nakamura of Namco on the other line, and a bunch of other guys on hold, too."

"I understand," said Scorsese.

Walt said goodbye and hung up. "Katy, who do I have on hold?" he called to his secretary in the hall.

"You have Mister Masaya Nakamura of Namco, Mister Stan Lee of Marvel Comics, Mister George Lucas of LucasArts, Mister Osamu Tezuka of Tezuka Productions, and Mister Don Bluth from the animation department downstairs all on the line and waiting, Walt," she responded.

"That few today, huh? Wonder what happened. Anyways, put Nakamura back on the line. I'll work through them in that order."

 

[HeX]

"People don't just sit around and talk anymore. So, let's do just that! Pull up a chair and put on your listenin' ears, ladies and gents, because my stories can take you to faraway lands with mysterious compatriots. In fact, let me tell y'all about my favorite place in all the world, Cascade Peak."
--The Prospector, the narrator of Cascade Peak at Disneytropolis

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On November 5, 1979, Cascade Peak opened its gates in Disneytropolis. Westernland had been languishing for six years without a major expansion, watching in envy as both Disney World and Disneyland got their own new Frontierland attraction, the Western River Expedition. To make up for it, in 1979 Walt Disney Imagineering unveiled the steepest, most thrilling log flume ride ever created. At a staggering 53° drop from a height of eighty feet and with a top speed of forty miles an hour, Cascade Peak is a ride that draws in thrillseekers the world over.

The ride has an interesting history. With dwindling space to be found in Disneyland, Disney World facing not only additional pavilions at the EPCOT Center but also an entire new theme park, and EuroDisney's design stage completed, there was no logical place for WDI to put Cascade Peak but Disneytropolis. The attraction's roots can be found in the scrapped concept of America Sings, a ride that could have potentially replaced the Carousel of Progress at Disneyland for the American Bicentennial. It featured singing animatronic wildlife, but the idea was shot down due to all resources at the company being put towards building the EPCOT Center. For a while, America Sings sat in limbo as the Country Bear Jamboree moved into the Magic Kingdom and no space opened up in Anaheim. Then, in 1977, with Imagineers looking to spice up Disneytropolis, the idea was revived with a more thrilling aspect to it.

But that wasn't Imagineering's first choice as basis for the ride. Some wished to theme Cascade Peak around the controversial 1949 live-action/animated Disney film, Song of the South. Walt, having faced more than enough public battery because of the film, refused to follow through on that idea, even with all racist elements of Song of the South removed. Walt would later take a sharp 180° on the idea of locking away that movie forever, though, and as part of the Walt Disney's Animated Classics VHS series the film was included with an analysis in the special features, teaching viewers what was right and wrong with the film and allowing others to learn from Disney's past mistakes.

Disneytropolis, as a result of Cascade Peak, gained a sharp boost in attendance and caused even more families to enter the Most Magical Place on Earth. However, this had the effect of also causing emerging Japanese organized crime groups (Yakuza) to take special interest in the park. Unable to touch Disney themselves, who with their status as an American company were deemed out of reach, the Yakuza instead began a shakedown of the Oriental Land Company, the organization who worked in conjunction with Disney to run their Japanese properties and owned 49% of the park. When Disney caught wind of those events in 1980, they were not happy, and immediately took a stand against organized crime in Japan.

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The ride, as with all Disney attractions, begins in the queue. Guests enter a mineshaft and make their way past glimmering diamonds, gold veins, and sticks of sizzling dynamite embedded in the walls. The place gives off Big Lightning Mountain vibes, but also feelings similar to that of the caves the Seven Dwarfs mine in Snow White.

After spending a while in dimly lit passages, guests then funnel through a narrow doorway and enter a large subterranean cavern, filled to the brim with sparkling precious stones and metals. A canal lies before them, filled with bateaux designed to look like lashed-together, hollowed-out logs similar to something one might see in a Mark Twain novel, seating eight people in four rows of two.

The bateaux begin their journey by ascending a small hill and turning right, leaving the showbuilding and taking a soft curve past the big drop, before re-entering the mountain. Then the first setpiece appears, with an old man lazily reclining in a rocking chair on a wide Southern porch, strumming a banjo. He introduces himself as the narrator, and a retired prospector-turned-millionaire who had many adventures out in the American West.

The boat then cruises into the next room, as the prospector's banjo tune picks up into the ride's theme, "Southern Symphony". A wagon train shows up on the horizon, with the people aboard breaking into song and singing along with the theme. There are many gags straight up Marc Davis' alley, including a mule and dog facing off while their owners are ignorant and a group of drunken men trying and failing to shoot down a flock of ducks. The prospector, in a younger form, sits at the front stagecoach, and begins to tell the tale of his greatest adventure, the wagon train ride to Cascade Peak. At the opposite end of the group is a stereotypical villain, a cowboy in black and purple clothing twiddling a handlebar moustache and discussing his evil plans to sic Indians on the train and claim the riches of Cascade Peak for himself.

The boats head outside for a little bit and drop down a short hill, named Slippin' Falls. The track then takes the boats under the main drop of the ride itself and travels back inside. The prospector has struck out from the rest of the group, and is seated on a stump surrounded by cartoon animals. Opossums and owls hang from the trees above, prairie dogs pop out one by one from their burrows, and a bear, fox, and bunny sit side-by-side. All of them listen intently to the prospector, who is telling a story about an adventuresome rabbit. Obscured by the trees, the villain is being chased down by a swarm of angry bees, thwarted in his attempt to shoot the prospector.

The scene shifts back to the wagon train, this time in the evening. The animals have joined the human travelers and everyone sits around a massive campfire, singing the lyrics of "Southern Symphony" into to the starry night sky. The boats then drift past the villain and his cronies, who can be found tricking a group of Indians into attacking the settlers.

The bateaux return outside one final time, climbing the second hill, Splash Pass, dropping, then climbing higher than ever before. After that short thrill, the ride enters a scene of pandemonium. Indian warriors have encircled the wagon train camp, and are attacking it with flaming arrows and rifles. The villain stands with the chief, holding the prospector hostage, blindfolded and smoking a cigarette. He is being forced to "walk the plank" off the edge of the final drop, Geronimo Falls.

Then, there's the final drop. This segment is what turns Cascade Peak from a pleasant family cruise to a pulse-pounding thrill ride, sending guests down a chute that is the highest, steepest, and speediest in the world. A photo is snapped on the way down, which can be purchased at the end of the ride if one so chooses. The boats splash down at the bottom, sending up huge amounts of water (and soaking the guests) before shooting below ground level and into one final scene.

The last scene shows everyone happy in the shadow of Cascade Peak. The young prospector shakes hands with the Indian chief, realizing their mistakes and misunderstandings about each other. The animals frolic in the grass and greenery, while people cook food and wash clothing. Everyone is joyously singing one final refrain of "Southern Symphony", celebrating a safe passage to Cascade Peak. The villain has been strung up by his boots from the branch of one solid oak, where blindfolded children take swings at his face, treating him like a piñata (or, more fittingly, a pain-yata). One final swing around the corner brings guests back to the exiting docks, where the elderly prospector thanks them for spending time listening to his stories about Cascade Peak.

 

[HeX]

"Video Games: The Future of Entertainment"
--Title on the cover of the December 17, 1979 issue of Time Magazine

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Asteroids was Atari's answer to Disney's Black Hole. All of Atari's (and, to a lesser extent, Universal's and MCA's) eggs were in the game's basket. While the gaming titan was no slouch in sales, it certainly was playing second fiddle to Walt Disney and Jak Strachan, and Michael Eisner and Raymond Kassar weren't having that. It was all or nothing. Everything was riding on Asteroids being a success.

Released to the world on November 12, 1979, Asteroids was just that. While never quite reaching Black Hole's sales (somewhere between 90,000--100,000 cabinets), it wooed players with its fancy new vector graphics and supplanted Space Invaders as Atari's best selling arcade game of all time, hovering at around 75,000 cabinets sold. It was the win Atari desperately needed on the heels of a year of being slapped around by the House of Mouse.

Asteroids' success was followed by more good news. The first item was Adventure, a game for the Atari 2600 that caused gaming to explode in the amount of things that could be accomplished on just one little cartridge. With the brand-new ability to take the game's action across multiple screens, new worlds were opened and the medium could shift from making minigames to crafting epic adventures. While it didn't sell as well as something like the 2600's Space Invaders port, Adventure received unreal critical acclaim, even getting a spotlight in the "Gaming Watch" segment of rival company Disney's Walt Disney Fun Club News. It also would inspire many mainstream magazines and newspapers to take notice of the new medium of video games, with the most notable event being Time Magazine's featuring of Adventure on the cover of their December 17, 1979 issue.

But Atari's best news would be from Disney themselves. While they had slated their first-person vector graphics Star Wars game to debut in the arcades in 1979's holiday season, the company admitted to getting their hopes up too high and needed a few more months to finish the game, now set for a February/March 1980 release, after Galaxian debuted in January. This meant that Atari wouldn't be facing as harsh competition during the winter as they had initially feared, turning the tide in their favor (with two excellent games compared to just one) in their war against Disney.

Universal rode this wave of success right into the box office, when on Thanksgiving Day they released Woody Woodpecker. Walt Disney was suddenly nervous about his position on top of Hollywood, and set out to make sure Eisner stayed put in second place.

 

[HeX]

Note: This idea was provided by reader @Unknown!

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American Airlines Flight 444
November 15, 1979

Arthur Plotnik gazed out the window to his right. The canopy of fluffy clouds hung below, mimicking the treetops of a lush rainforest, and the tranquil endless blue sky sped by. Plotnik smiled and returned to his work, an editorial on some four-star restaurant in Chicago. The forty-two-year-old's career in the journalism industry didn't pay very well, but it was his passion, and enough to keep him and his two preteen daughters happy. The fat alimony check he got in the mail from his ex-wife didn't hurt, either.

It was just smooth sailing from here on out.

BOOM.

Chaos.

The back of the plane was missing. The explosion from what Plotnik could only assume had been an engine exploding or--God forbid--a bomb had disintegrated half of the vehicle and sent the whole thing into a tailspin of epic proportions.

He clung to his seat for dear life. Bags, suitcases, books, and even people were thrown out the gaping maw, sucked out by the rushing winds and thrown into the endless blue skies. Oxygen masks descended heroically from the ceiling, as if to say, Don't worry! Just put us on and you'll be fine!

The masks were swiftly torn from their cords by the raging air.

A hardcover novel spun from the front of the plane and slammed into Plotnik's fingers, causing him to yelp in pain and let go. In an instant, he was gone, clawed away from his last piece of solid ground.

He tumbled down, down, down, the earth and sky spinning with him in a mess of blue, green, and brown. He screamed. And the world went dark.

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"I... I just don't know what to say. I'm speechless. Ladies and gentlemen, earlier today United Airlines Flight 444, on its way from Chicago to Washington, D.C., went down in flames over West Virginia. There was, according to early reports, an onboard explosion that snapped the plane in two. The explosion and crash together killed all seventy-eight passengers and crew aboard, with no survivors."
--John Chancellor, from the November 15, 1979 edition of the NBC Nightly News

"We call this guy the Unabomber, because he's sent bombs to both the University of Illinois and now an airline. He's taken credit for both but managed to stay anonymous. But now that the Federal Bureau of Investigation is on the job, he won't keep hidden for long. We're going to get this son of a bitch."
--President Jimmy Carter to Head of Central Intelligence William H. Webster, overheard outside the Oval Office on November 15, 1979

 

[HeX]

On November 22, 1979, Universal's first true fully-animated feature film, Woody Woodpecker, released around the United States and then the world. This movie was Universal's answer to 1978's Disney film Mickey Mousecapade. Despite all of their differences, it was clear in Woody that Universal was not only pushing their red-white-and-blue woodpecker as their rival for Mickey Mouse, but that they had been extensively influenced by the aesthetic of the Golden Age of Animation, especially the style of the Warner cartoons. In a shocking twist of events, Woody's creator the legendary Walter Lantz was brought in as an advisor on the project, to ensure his creation would get his best face forward.

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The movie opens on a tranquil shot of a forest, with endless towering trees and lush foliage. A serene tune plays in the background, and the opening credits roll as viewers are treated to cute scenes of woodland creatures snoozing and playing around.

The peacefulness is broken by an incessant buzzing sound, waking up a number of the slumbering animals and getting everyone all in a fuss. The camera quickly jumps over to find Woody Woodpecker putting the finishing touches on the wooden logo of the film, reading "Woody Woodpecker: The Greatest of 'Em All!".

Out of nowhere, a shotgun fires, clipping the tail feathers of Woody. He looks down below to find an angry man brandishing a shotgun, shaking his fist, and grumbling about how loud the darn wildlife was, before ducking back into his cabin.

Indignant, Woody turns up his nose returns to his house, a cozy little red and blue birdhouse. The camera zooms in on his calendar, which is open and has September 23 circled on it, the first day of autumn. Just as the bird falls asleep on his bed, a bell rings out and startles him awake. Woody zips out of his home and starts yelling about how noisy everyone is, until he realizes what day it is: moving day. The cold season is coming, and right about now is when everyone heads south for the winter. No one, however, wants Woody and his annoying laugh with them the entire trip from Oregon to Florida, so he is shut out and forced to travel on his own.

Woody sighs, but strikes out on his own way, heading down to the highway to hitchhike his way across the country. There he's picked up by a large man in a purple shirt and black vest, introducing himself as 'Denver Dooley the Third'. The duo drive for a while as a musical number kicks in, showing a montage of their escapades on their long ride down the West Coast from The-Middle-of-Nowhere, Oregon to San Diego, California. Once there, Woody (who has been extremely annoying the whole trip) will not shut up about going to the world-famous San Diego Zoo. Simply to get him to quiet down, Dooley obliges.

Woody is horrified at the sights inside of the zoo. He simply cannot believe that so many innocent animals have been locked up behind bars for mere entertainment purposes, and so he sneaks off from Dooley and their tour group to cause some characteristic mischief.

Woody dashes all over the zoo, unlocking cages, tripping visitors, and even nabbing a triple-scoop ice cream cone from a kid. Satisfied, he flies into the lion pen, mounts one of them, and as the beast rears he exclaims "JAILBREAK!" with enough force to alert all his fellow animals now was the perfect time to bust out.

The animals cause stampede everything in their paths, running in every direction. Dooley runs around looking for Woody to beat him up in return for ruining his day, but he doesn't quite get the chance--an elephant accidentally sits on him instead. The woodpecker doesn't notice his frenemy's plight and elects to join in on the chaos.

Down below, he finds himself raiding a hot dog cart alongside a trio of other animals: a shivering penguin named Chilly Willy, a panda bear named Andy, and another woodpecker he immediately falls for named Winona. As Animal Control shows up and the zoo begins to calm down, Woody leads his three new friends out the back way and narrowly escape the jaws of a hungry crocodile into Dooley's pickup truck.

Another musical number road trip montage starts up, watching as Woody and company traverse the United States from west to east. They're shown sneaking into a film adaptation of Macbeth featuring cartoon animals (a not-so-subtle jab at Disney and Mickey Mouse, as Macbeth is played by a woodpecker and the king who gets murdered by a mouse) at Mann's Chinese Theatre in Los Angeles, living it big in Las Vegas with plenty of alcohol and gambling present, visiting the Grand Canyon, horseback riding in Texas, and hitting up a party-happy Mardi Gras. This segment is wildly inappropriate for people who understand its sheer volume of innuendos, giving parents watching with their children some much-needed adult humor. Yet, in every part of their journey, Dooley, seeking revenge on Woody, is shown following close behind but never getting the chance to corner the annoying bird.

Finally, the group arrives at a beach at sunset in Florida. Andy Panda says that there's only a day's drive until they reach Miami, Woody's vacation destination, as they all recline in their beach chairs and sip drinks through colorful curly straws. A little while later, all four of them wake up at the crack of dawn to get to the Magic City as soon as possible.

Out of nowhere, Dooley turns up with some pals driving alongside the animals. Woody and his former friend exchange words, ending with Woody blowing a raspberry at Dooley and rolling up the windshield. Angry, the battle begins as Dooley and the other bad guys ram their cars into Woody's, sending everyone into a panic.

Woody, enraged, zips over to Dooley and blows another raspberry right in his face. Dooley becomes even more angry and grabs a bat from the passenger seat. He begins to destroy his car as he tries to hit Woody, missing every time. Back in the car, Chilly Willy, Andy Panda, and Winona Woodpecker are all frantically trying to work together to drive the truck in a scene reminiscent of OTL's Toy Story 2. It's easily the best part of the movie, as everything that could go wrong does but the animals manage to beat their pursuers anyways, accidentally sending them over the edge of a cliff.

Meanwhile, Woody has gotten Dooley's bat and is rapidly beating it into his face until the villain grabs the bird by the neck and, the car still speeding down the highway, threatens him. Woody struggles to breath, but it's no use, and Dooley asks him for his last words.

"Yeah," says Woody. "Are you afraid of heights?"

Dooley looks out to see the same cliff his cronies went over is mere feet away. He screams in terror, loosening his grip on Woody and allowing the bird to break free and fly away as his enemy tumbles head-over-heels into the waters below, as Woody laughs hysterically.

The woodpecker reunites with his buddies and they all make it to Miami in once piece. There, they find Woody's neighbors from Oregon, who have realized they do miss him and welcome him in as family. The movie ends in an iris shot, with Woody, Winona, Chilly Willy, and Andy gazing out into the rising sun over the Gulf of Mexico. Then Woody throws a casual glance over his shoulder to the camera as it begins the iris. He winks and laughs at the audience as the screens goes dark and "The End!" appears.

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​

"Like taking candy from a baby..."
--Woody Woodpecker

"Most people argue that the Golden Age of Animation ended when I left the business after Beauty and the Beast and Don Bluth took over for The Snow Queen and Mickey Mousecapade, but I don't think that's true. The Golden Age of Animation lasted right through the Seventies. The Silver Age, on the other hand, really kicked off with Universal's risqué (for the time) Woody Woodpecker."
-- Walt Disney, from the third volume of his autobiography, One Man's Dream: The Story of Walt Disney

"It's hard to catch lightning in a bottle. It's even harder to do it twice."
--Michael Eisner, commenting on the widespread appeal of both Woody Woodpecker and Mickey Mousecapade

"I won't lie... after how well Woody did, I pushed hard for Universal to make a film adaptation of Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, a character Walt Disney and Ub Iwerks had created while at the company in the 1920s and one that I'd worked on for years after them. But Michael Eisner took one look at me and said something I'll never forget. He said, 'Mister Lantz, we want to annoy the sleeping Disney giant. We don't want to anger it. Dangling Walt's first pride and joy in front of him like bait on a fishing line is sure to make him take that bait--though by then, he'll be reeling us in.' And so I stopped asking."
--Walter Lantz, from the 1994 Disney documentary short film The Rabbit Comes Home: Welcoming Back Our Oldest Pal

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Songs
Wake-Up Call
Roadtrippin' (Part 1)
Zoobreak
Roadtrippin' (Part 2)
Sundown Town
Magic City

Voices
Woody Woodpecker: Grace Stafford
Winona Woodpecker: Grace Stafford
Chilly Willy: Daws Butler
Andy Panda: Bernice Hansen

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Woody Woodpecker was everything Michael Eisner hoped it would be, and more. Though in retrospect another of Universal's films that didn't quite hold up to their Disney counterparts, it was impossible to deny that Woody, while at times cheesy and the whole thing a little short, was not a great animated movie. Generally, it's held as Universal's best animated movie, though that is very much up for debate amongst film fans.

Two major figures were brought back into Universal's fold in the wake of Woody Woodpecker's unbridled success: Walter Lantz, and Tex Avery, both brilliant creative minds from the Golden Age of Animation. It was through them that Universal would train their next generation of animators, and allow them to wage a war on even ground with the House of Mouse. Though the Entertainment Wars had started when Michael Eisner entered MCAUniversal, they began on Thanksgiving Day 1979. Universal didn't just have a fighting chance coming into the new decade: they had an opening.

And they wouldn't disappoint.

 

[HeX]

Magic Kingdom Park, Disney World, Orlando, FL
December 31, 1979

The extended Disney family was having a day at the races on New Year's Eve. Walt's wife, Lilly, and daughters, Diane and Sharon, had taken the latter's three young children to ride the Western River Expedition and it's a small world until they got sick of it. Knowing them, they'd be in there all night. Roy's son and daughter-in-law were off with their own kids somewhere in the depths of Adventureland. And Walt was pretty sure George and Maria Lucas were off in Fantasyland, to get their minds off Star Wars and science-fiction.

That left two men on a bench.

Walt and Roy sat next to each other in a spot halfway between Space Port and Seabase Atlantic. The streets were crowded with park guests and families rushing to get from one ride or land to the next, all while keeping in mind they needed to find the perfect spots to see the midnight fireworks. It was Disney World's usual brand of controlled chaos, the type that frustrates in the moment but disappears from memory when looking back on the trip.

Walt stared into the crowd. Weary adults pushed strollers and dragged along children. Some massaged their sore feet, argued over where to eat dinner, and pushed, shoved, and barreled their way through the sea of people. But unlike other places where one might see a similar scene, it was different at Disney. Here, everyone had a permanent, goofy, childlike grin plastered onto their faces, even with all the annoyances.

"What are you thinking about?" asked Roy.

"Oh, just... people. The future, I suppose," replied Walt.

"Always the futurist, eh?"

Walt chuckled. "You know me too well."

"What were you really thinking about, Walt?"

"The future. I wasn't lying."

"Well, what about the future?"

"Just... well, we're in a new decade now. Or at least, we will be in a little while. And, for once, I don't know what's going to happen. Universal's on our heels, Roy. I hope Woody Woodpecker was a fluke, but I don't think it will be. Did you see they've got Walter Lantz and Tex Avery in there training their animators?"

"Yeah," agreed Roy. "But we've got Don and you. I'd say we're evenly matched."

"...I guess."

The two brothers looked up at the stars for a little while. With Central Florida not exactly known for being a metropolitan center, the constellations were clearly visible in the night sky. Orion's Belt and the Big Dipper gleamed and twinkled. A shooting star streaked by, blinking in and out of view as fast as lightning.

"Halley's Comet will be here in just a few short years, you know," commented Roy.

Walt nodded. "And to think I first set Tomorrowland in 1986... we're practically there, and I don't see any spaceships taking us to the Moon and back on a day's trip yet!"

"You know, I've been meaning to ask you something," said Roy. "With the EPCOT Center open now and an entire theme park dedicated to envisioning the future, what are you going to do about Tomorrowland in the parks?"

"Well... here, in the Magic Kingdom, I mean, I think we're going to start shifting towards a 'science-fiction' interpretation of the future, not a realistic one, since EPCOT is right there. But in Anaheim and Tokyo, I don't think we'll make any changes. They'll still be time capsules from the future."

"I wonder what this place will look like the next time Halley's Comet comes," mused Roy, reclining in his seat, his face awash in the neon glow of Tomorrowland's bright lights.

"That's assuming people will be even interested in Disney then."

"I assume they will be."

Walt sighed. "I guess I hope they'll have made good decisions in my absence. Kept the spirit alive. Didn't give into corporate greed. Saw new ideas--good ideas--and pounced on them."

"...I think that'll happen. The people at the studio are crazy about you, Walt. Your legacy won't be going anywhere anytime soon."

"Thanks, Roy. Don't sell yourself short, though--I couldn't have made it this far without you and your love of number-crunching."

The two men sat there in silence, appreciating their surroundings, until Walt's watch started to buzz.

"Enough with the mushiness, Roy. That was my timer for thirty minutes to midnight--we'd better go find our wives, they'll have our heads if we're not with them for New Year's."

Walt and Roy stood, and strolled off into the depths of the Magic Kingdom.

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​

Michael Eisner's House, Los Angeles, CA
December 31, 1979

Michael Eisner took another sip of his martini, milling about the large living room of his Los Angeles home. His abode was not humble, but fit for a king--or, rather, the head of America's second-largest entertainment company. The company party he was hosting was almost a who's who of Disney's arch rivals. Universal, Paramount, Warner, MGM, United Artists, even Fox, the black sheep of the Hollywood herd these days--it didn't matter. Everyone had the same goal in mind:

Beat the mouse, and take his house.

"Michael Eisner! I haven't seen you in a million years! How're things at Universal suiting you?"

Eisner almost spit up his drink. It was Jeffrey Katzenberg, a fellow 'Killer Diller' and one of his least favorite people in the movie business. But hey, he could afford to be polite for at least a little while. It was the holidays, after all.

"Hey, Jeff. Universal's going good, we're pretty hot stuff right now with Woody Woodpecker doing so well," Eisner replied, wiping his mouth.

"I know, I went to see it with my friend and his family and we all loved it. It was some good work."

"What's up at Paramount? Barry still treating you right?" asked Eisner.

Katzenberg shrugged. "We've been working nonstop on PTS and Star Trek. The movie about lived up to expectations, but with Phase II on the way we're shifting into overdrive."

"Still haven't come up with a better name than 'Phase II', huh?"

"Trust me, that's the least of our priorities right now," quipped Katzenberg.

"Well, to a happy, more relaxed new year, I suppose," said Eisner, raising his glass.

"Hear, hear!"

Michael Eisner and Jeffrey Katzenberg bid farewell and parted ways, being absorbed into the crowd once more. The president of Universal bounced from conversation to conversation, getting the feel of Hollywood's climate upon entry into the 1980s.

"I frankly don't know what's going to happen if Heaven's Gate doesn't rock the box office," lamented Gordon Stulberg. "Fox is already in the red. One more flop, and we're sunk."

"CNN's coming along just fine. Only a few more months, and Warner will be launching the world's first twenty-four-hour cable news channel," said Ted Turner, grinning broadly.

"We've decided to split the company in two. One half will be for filmmaking, and the other half hotels and casinos. I'm not proud of it, but it has to happen or we'll die before Fox does," David Begelman complained.

"Sylvester Stallone is a huge powerhouse these days. We're lucky to have him," boasted United Artists' Eric Pleskow.

Eisner clapped him on the shoulder. "That's great, Eric. Really great. Tell me, did you all manage to work out your issues with Transamerica? I heard rumors about you and a couple other guys leaving UA to found a new studio."

"Yes, we patched things up. It certainly helped that they agreed to say no to Heaven's Gate. I mean, I love Gordon and Alan, but I just don't understand what they see in that over budget mess. It's going to be their downfall, I can see it now."

"Honestly, I couldn't agree with you more. Fox is just--"

"Everyone! The ball's about to drop!" yelled a woman from MGM.

The whole party rushed around, trying to find their loved ones and get a good view of the TV. Michael Eisner eventually found his wife near the front of the room.

"10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Happy New Year!" roared the party.

Eisner leaned down and kissed his wife, hoping that this decade would be the one he would be remembered for, as the man who made Universal king.

 

[HeX]

Namco Headquarters, Minato, Tokyo, Japan
January 12, 1980

"Galaxian's doing amazingly well, Mister Nakamura. Sales figures are saying it's about pulling even with Asteroids, and critics are just as kind--they think it's better than Space Invaders."

Walt Disney and Masaya Nakamura walked through the halls of Namco's headquarters, discussing the future of their video game partnership.

"Are you still content in Disney distributing your games overseas?" asked Walt.

Nakamura nodded. "Yes, we are. You've handled Galaxian quite nicely, given it a good spread in the latest Walt Disney Fun Club News, and from what I hear it's front and center at all the arcades in Disneytropolis."

"Not just there, but in Disneyland and Disney World, too. The Atari games are tucked away in the back, or not there at all."

Nakamura stopped suddenly, and opened a door. "This is our latest project. I have a lot of faith in its being the next Pong or Breakdown."

The room was dark. Granted, it was about midnight Tokyo time, so most of the workers in the building were gone. In one corner, the familiar glow of an arcade cabinet beckoned Walt forwards.

"A new game?" he asked.

"Yes. We're hoping for a May release in Japan, and maybe a June release in North America."

Walt took a glance at the name, and frowned. "Uh, that's not gonna fly in the US," he said, pointing at the logo. "Any teenager with a Sharpie could write an 'F' over that 'P' and make this game seem... not very family-friendly."

Nakamura looked himself, and blushed. "Oh, no! You're right! That's... that would be bad. I'll get the designers to come up with a different name for when it comes overseas, howabout?"

"That'd be great."

Walt pressed a button, and the game began. He guided the yellow disc around the blue maze, as the avatar happily munched down pellet after pellet. Four colorful ghosts chased after him, and almost always besting him. After a little trial-and-error, though, Walt managed to find the key to winning: the power pellets, big spheres that, when snagged, turned all the ghosts blue and made them edible.

"I'm loving this! Your guys really know their stuff!" exclaimed Walt with childlike glee as he nabbed a strawberry from the center of the map.

Nakamura laughed. "Toru Iwatani--he's the brain behind PUCKMAN--is very proud of his creation. He said he wanted to entice women to play more video games, so that's why this one is so colorful and bright, unlike Asteroids or Space Invaders. Plus, everyone likes to eat, so the little guy is relatable to just about anybody."

"PUCKMAN or whatever you call it is going to make more money in quarters than I make in a year."

"Really? The game we saw before, Rally-X, is the one the company is predicting to do the best this year," said Nakamura, surprised.

Walt dodged the wrong way and hit Blinky square in the nose, ending his game. "I'll tell you what--I'll bet you... thirty-five hundred yen that by this time next year, PUCKMAN will have made a quarter of a billion dollars in coins."

Nakamura shook his head. " I'm not usually a betting man, and this is one bet I hope to lose... but you're on, Walt."

The two men shook hands.

--------------------------------
​

"While Galaxian was the hottest game this issue, it should be noted that Walt Disney Imagineering and LucasArts are hard at work on the very first video game to be based upon the highest-grossing movie of all time, Star Wars! The game is to be titled 'Star Wars: Trench Run', and is set during the Death Star battle that ended the 1977 film with a bang. That's all we can share for now, though, but keep on the lookout for more Star Wars and gaming coming your way from Walt Disney Studios!"
--excerpt from the 'Gaming Watch' segment of the November/December 1979 issue of The Walt Disney Fun Club News

 

[HeX]

Walt Disney's Office, Burbank, CA
February 3, 1980

The new year was off to a great start. The studio had not one, not two, but four big-name films (Hood, The Secret of NIMH, The Empire Strikes Back, and Earth, Walt's nature documentary) in production, two of which were set to release before Christmas. And, of course, there were other things on the horizon: EuroDisney would be opening its gates come June, Star Wars: Trench Run would be debuting in arcades at the end of the month, and Marvel would be announcing their planned animated shows based on their superhero properties soon--shows that would be exclusive to the Disney Channel. But that didn't mean Walt was uninterested in adding more ideas to that already full slate--hence the meeting he was having today.

Steven Lisberger and Donald Kushner were the men in the chairs across Walt's desk today. They sat there both excited and nervous, but were confident in their ideas. Hopefully, Walt would be too, because every other studio they'd approached had turned them down. Universal had been too busy pouring all of its cash into The Legend of the Lone Ranger and politely dealing with the character's original actor, MGM and Fox were in the process of collapsing as companies, Columbia had its hands full with Steven Spielberg's Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and Warner Bros. was just flat-out disinterested.

"What have you brought me?" asked Walt, absently flipping through the pages and storyboards Lisberger and Kushner had handed him.

"It's a film we've been working on for half a decade, now. The basic premise is that this computer programmer, Kevin Flynn, gets trapped in the mainframe of an evil company hell-bent on ruining his life. He's got to manipulate the rules of the new virtual world he's in to take down the bad guy, Sark, before it's too late," explained Lisberger. "Though, that's a very loose retelling of it. The whole script is there, if you're interested in reading the whole thing," explained Lisberger.

"We call the movie TRON, short for 'electronic', and it's also the name of a character," added Kushner.

Walt whistled. "Are these shots... computer-generated?"

"Uh, yeah," replied Lisberger. "That's why we're coming to Disney, actually--those CGI scenes are amazing, but they're also expensive. We just don't have the funds to create the full extent of our artistic vision for this movie."

"...If you can keep on making things that look like this, then I'd say we'll be happy to fund you," offered Walt.

Lisberger and Kushner's mouths flopped open like dead fish.

"You're agreeing to it just like that?" asked Kushner, dumbfounded.

"Of course I am! I've been interested in computer animation for decades! I'm building my own CGI department here at the studio as we speak! This is not an opportunity I am willing to let pass me by. Disney will take on your project, no matter how much it costs."

"So then... it's settled?" questioned Lisberger.

"I should think so," said Walt. "You'll have to take a look at the official paperwork and all that junk, but TRON is officially now a Walt Disney production."

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​

Walt Disney Studios, Burbank, CA
February 14, 1980

John Lasseter bumped and shoved his way through the crowd in an attempt to get a seat. It seemed the whole Disney studio was in Soundstage One, and the floor was packed with hastily set-up folding chairs. Lasseter didn't know why he'd been called down here, but this meeting sure was taking a lot of time away from him working on his segment of The Secret of NIMH.

Eventually, he found a spot to sit, and soon the lights dimmed and four men came onto the stage. Two of them, Jerry Rees and Bill Kroyer, were Lasseter's old friends from when they had, once upon a time, worked at Disney. The other pair, Alvy Ray Smith and Ed Catmull, had been selected by George Lucas to head what had been intended to become LucasArts' CGI department and what was now, after the merger, the Walt Disney Computer Graphics Group.

"Ladies and gentlemen," began Catmull, "You have been assembled here today to watch some very early footage of Walt Disney Studios' next big live-action movie, TRON. It's not much, but it represents a landmark leap forward in computer graphics. So, observe."

Catmull stepped to the side, and the screen behind him lit up. A video began playing, showing a man in a dark suit expertly throwing a Frisbee. While his skills were impressive, what caught the eye of animators and Imagineers alike was the visual effects. The footage was largely live-action, but it seamlessly fused that with back-lit animation and computer-generated imagery to create a world with as much depth and believability as everyday life.

The men and women in the room were stunned, and when the clip ended, there was an uproarious demand to play it again. And again. And again. They played it until the film itself melted.

There was thunderous applause, which Ed Catmull struggled to speak over. "This is just a sample of what we're trying to accomplish with this movie. The only trouble is, we need animators to help us, and a lot of them. Walt has instructed us to tell all of you that, if you wish, a certain number of you all may leave behind other animation projects like Get a Horse! or The Secret of NIMH to work on TRON. Although, it's on a first come, first serve basis, and subject to Don's approval--I wouldn't want to deprive him of any of his critical animators."

"Are there any questions?" asked Rees.

A million hands shot up into the air.

"Alright then, a lot more than anticipated," he muttered.

"You, there," said Kroyer, pointing to a woman near the back.

"When is TRON supposed to come out?"

"We're hoping for late-1981, early-1982. Summer of '82 at the latest."

Another person, an Imagineer, was chosen to ask his question next. "Are there any other computer animation projects lined up for the future?"

"Not to my knowledge," admitted Smith. "Though I can't imagine Walt would keep a new medium like CGI under wraps for long."

"You go next," announced Catmull, gesturing to John Lasseter.

He lowered his hand and shifted his glasses. "I only have one question," he stated. "Where do I sign up?"

 

[HeX]

On February 27, 1980, Disney released its sixth video game, Star Wars: Trench Run, developed in conjunction between Walt Disney Imagineering and the fledgling LucasArts Games division. Released three years after the movie that started it all debuted, Trench Run instilled the world with another instance of Star Wars fervor, which didn't even have a chance to peter out before The Empire Strikes Back released in theaters just over a year later. That being said, the game didn't do as well as Galaxian, Black Hole, or Asteroids, living up to company expectations but not going much further.

Star Wars: Trench Run was Disney's most ambitious and technologically advanced video game yet. It took the vector graphics of Asteroids and put them to use in the rendering of a pseudo-3D environment, namely the Death Star trenches. The player pilots Luke Skywalker's X-Wing fighter during the climactic Battle of Yavin, the ultimate goal of the game being to send a proton torpedo down the exhaust chute at the end of the tunnel.

The game operates like a standard shooter, with access to a blaster that does little damage but never depletes, and a finite amount of proton torpedoes that destroy an enemy TIE fighter in one hit. The game is split into three separate segments, getting progressively more difficult:

• The Trench: The game begins with the player piloting one X-Wing and flanked by two friendly ships, hurtling through the Death Star trenches. TIE fighters here are rather scarce, and most of the obstacles come from dodging structures and blaster fire from stationary turrets that are easy to destroy. As Star Wars: Trench Run was the first game of its kind, this area can be seen as a tutorial of sorts. It ends when Darth Vader appears in his TIE Advance, swiftly destroying the two other Rebel craft and zeroing in on Luke.
• The Run: Vader doesn't stick around for long, though, as he's fired upon by Han Solo in the Milennium Falcon (offscreen) and jets off to take care of them, first. In the meantime, the player must face off against the same obstacles as before, but with no help whatsoever and the added threat of a higher volume of TIEs. If the player survives long enough, Darth Vader returns, queuing the next and final segment.
• The Edge: During this final part, the player is pursued relentlessly by Vader, and as a result cannot stay in the same location for very long, as one hit from Vader means instant death--a fact toned down by the fact that his TIE Advanced takes a decent amount of time to target Luke. At the end, precision timing is required to send a proton torpedo into the designated target. If the player has conserved their stash from over the course of the game, they get multiple attempts at the shot, but more often than not players arrive empty handed and get only one chance to destroy it. If the player succeeds, the game ends, and loops on a higher difficulty. If they lose, the game ends in failure, and the Empire destroys the Rebel Alliance.

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​

WDI Building, Walt Disney Studios, Burbank, CA
March 2, 1980

Rolly Crump took a seat at one end of the main Imagineering conference table. Great ideas had come to life in that room, ideas that shaped the worlds of the past, the future, and of fantasy. Now, though, he didn't know why he was here. Seated next to him was Tony Baxter, who was shaping up to be a fusion of Marc Davis and Claude Coats' best traits--a master of character and of environment, able to envision a world and populate it with people and creatures.

"You're probably wondering what I called you two in here for," announced Walt, who was at the head of the table.

"I was, yeah," replied Tony.

"I'll just get straight to it: the world of video gaming is getting big, much to big for its leading party to still be relegating it to not even an official position in their studio. Our video game department--even if it's really just you two--has outgrown Imagineering."

"So what do you want us to do?" asked Rolly. "Join LucasArts Games? Sorry, Walt, but I'm not leaving Disney proper until you leave Disney proper."

Walt laughed. "No, no, that's not what I meant. It's nice to see you're exceptionally invested, though. No, I think it's high time we created a video game studio as a new arm of this studio. Something like, 'Disney Studios Interactive', to show we still treat our games with the same fine-toothed comb as our films, but the media is indeed interactive."

"And you want us to leave Imagineering and start up this... DSI?" pressed Tony.

"Yes, precisely. But only if you really want to. I wouldn't want to force anything down your throats."

Tony sighed. "Walt, as much as I'd like to, I can't. Helping design EuroDisney has let me see that I love Imagineering, more than anything in the world. I can't leave it behind. I'm sorry."

Walt nodded, seeming saddened, but also as if he'd known what Tony's answer was going to be before he even asked. "I understand. Rolly, how about you?"

Rolly Crump exhaled loudly. "Geez, Walt, I dunno. I really like being an Imagineer, but then again, I haven't been doing much theme park design as of late, have I?"

Walt chuckled. "I suppose not."

"And even though I adore it... well, I adored animating, too, before you called me in to work on the World's Fair with WED. I'll take the dive, Walt. You were certainly right about last time, and I'm confident you'll do it again this time, too."

"Congratulations, then, Rolly. From this moment on, you are officially the head of Disney Studios Interactive," Walt boomed. "Now, let's get to work!"

 

[HeX]

Marvel Comics Group, New York City, NY
March 12, 1980

Stan Lee steepled his fingers. "Jim, what should we do about the Disney Channel deal?"

Editor-in-Chief Jim Shooter snorted as he awoke from a nap. "The... what? You mean the animated shows?"

"Yes. DePatie-Freleng--well, Marvel Productions in a few months--is already working on a Spider-Man show that can be up and running as soon as next year. They want me to write for them, too. But what do we do about the animated Marvel universe we're creating? Where do we go from Spider-Man?"

"I'd say the Incredible Hulk, obviously," offered Shooter.

"I suppose so. It's too bad those deals with Universal over the live-action Hulk show fell through. I guess that bastard Michael Eisner doesn't know a good idea even when it's an inch in front of him."

"On the bright side, he gave us back the full rights to the Human Torch in the chaos after Sid Sheinberg bit the dust. Eisner must really hate superheroes."

"I think he does," replied Stan. "I've had the displeasure of meeting the guy, he flat out turned me down on everything I had to offer before all my papers were out of the briefcase. When I was leaving, he muttered something about comic books being for 'children'. Apparently, Universal's too cool to fool with 'children' these days."

"...So the Incredible Hulk is next. We've got the rights to the FF, they're still decently popular. The X-Men are outselling every single comic on the stand these days. And of course, we've got the Avengers, Cap, Iron Man, Thor... who of those would fit television, you think?"

Stan Lee's face lit up. "All of them."

Shooter's face fell. "What?"

Stan grabbed a pen and flipped over the paper before him, exposing a blank side. He quickly began scribbling down words and drawings on the page. "So, you know how in our comics the characters always... cross over between the other titles? Cross pollination. Something to entice readers of, say, Daredevil to hop on over and see what Spider-Man's up to that month. What if we tried to do that with these animated TV series?"

He'd written down a very confusing diagram under the title 'The Marvel Animated Universe'. Arrows pointed in every direction, connecting Spider-Man to the Fantastic Four to the X-Men to the Hulk to the Avengers...

"That's insane. There's no way we can pull off a project this big," protested Shooter.

"We can't, but Disney can. Get Walt on the horn. I've got a hell of an idea to share with him."

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​

Elstree Studios, London, UK
March 17, 1980

George Lucas let out a groan of disbelief and anger, as he took a seat on the curb. "How bad was it?"

"Pretty bad," said Irvin Kershner, the film's director. "Apparently, the fire was started by a short-circuiting coffee machine. It destroyed about half of Dagobah, and one of the Yoda puppets looks like Belloq at the end of Raiders, but everyone got out okay."

Lucas put his head in his hands. "Great. That's gonna kill the budget."

Kershner nodded. "Stanley Kubrick wasn't too happy either. The fire made it to The Shining's set, and did some damage there, too. But that's not our problem."

"Goddammit. This movie had better do fucking phenomenal. Trench Run did well, but not like Black Hole. I sure hope people aren't getting tired of Star Wars mania..."

--------------------------------
​

Site of EuroDisney, Aprilia, Latina, Italy
March 22, 1980

Tony Baxter shifted his stance and ticked off another box, standing before a crowd of Imagineers. "Jungle Cruise?"

"Finished the final details last night."

"Seabase Nautilus?"

"She's still being worked on. All the details in the lagoon are taking a lot of time to install."

"Grizzly Gulch Railroad?"

"Track's in place, but not all the details, and the T. Rex is still being embedded in the wall."

"Alright. That's all I've got for now. We're coming up on crunch time, people. We've got just under two months before EuroDisney opens, and we've got about three month's of work left. So, double-time! No, triple-time, ladies and gentlemen! We don't want another Disneyland Opening Day disaster on our hands, do we?"

"No!" roared the group.

"So hop to it! Tinker Bell can't build this whole place by herself!"

The Imagineers dispersed from where they had assembled at the Roman Forum, this park's version of a Main Street, USA. Snow White Castle, a decidedly fantastical take on the classic 'weenies' of the Disney Parks, loomed in the distance. Tony Baxter swiveled in the direction of the open-air market, which declared it was selling 'Exotic Gifts from the Empire's Furthest Reaches' in Latin, and kept his nose on his clipboard as he walked. He was paying such little attention that he ploughed right into Walt Disney.

"Oh, man, I'm really sorry, Walt!" apologized Tony, crouching to pick up his fallen papers.

Walt just laughed. "No worries. I've done my fair share of running into things myself."

Tony stood. "Well, that's a relief. So, you finally made it back out to Italy, I see?"

Walt shushed him. "Keep it down. I'm supposed to be at a shareholders meeting in New York right now."

"Does Roy know you're here?"

"Would I be here if he didn't? My brother knows all. When we were little, he made me give him half an extra biscuit I swiped at dinner one night, otherwise he'd tell Dad. And getting in trouble with Elias Disney was no laughing matter."

"Do you want a tour of the place? Maybe a ride on something that's finished?"

"What do you have?"

Tony scanned his paper. "Let's see... Jungle Cruise, Pirates, Phantom Manor, Peter Pan... the Timekeeper animatronic show works, but it might be a little creepy without any other audience members..."

"How about... Around the World in Eighty Days?" proposed Walt. "That's EuroDisney's small world analogue, correct?"

"It is. Shall we go backstage, or walk the beaten path there?"

"The beaten path. That way I can point out any problems I see along the way," Walt explained.

The duo set off, and along the way, Walt did indeed point out many problems--127 to be precise--that ranged from distances between trash cans ("No more than twenty paces, remember--people are lazy and won't walk farther than that to throw away garbage,") to still seeing the castle in Discoveryland to a few dead light bulbs. Every time Walt and Tony stopped, the younger Imagineer realized how important Walt was to the building of a Disney theme park. He shuddered, thinking of a world where Walt Disney was gone, and he, Tony Baxter, had to make all the tough-but-tiny decisions. Hopefully, that world was still a long way's off.

--------------------------------

(A big thanks to @Pyro for suggesting ideas/helping with anything and everything comic book related ITTL, including the MAU!)​

 

[HeX]

Michael Eisner's Office, Universal City, CA
March 30, 1980

"Walt Disney's getting cocky. He didn't put out an animated movie last year, and let us and Woody Woodpecker reap the rewards. That's a big mistake on his part," said Michael Eisner, a smirk on his lips.

"And what do you want us to do about that?"

Eisner turned and faced the four filmmakers on the other side of his desk. Fellow 'Killer Diller' Don Simpson and his producer partner, Jerry Bruckheimer, were to his left, while animators Tex Avery and Gary Goldman (one of the only animators Universal had been able to poach from Disney) sat to his right.

"I want you to take advantage of that. Don, Jerry, you keep working on The Legend of the Lone Ranger. Make me the best damn Western I've ever seen."

Bruckheimer nodded. "We're working on that. We've reached a deal with Clayton Moore, he agreed to stop wearing the Lone Ranger costume in public in exchange for being put on payroll and officially promoting the film with us."

"Yeesh," wheezed Eisner. "The whole point of this movie it to move away from Moore as the Ranger's face. What other options do we have?"

Don Simpson shrugged. "We could take him to court."

"And enrage everyone over the age of thirty? Moore was their childhood heroes. You take someone like him to court, and box office numbers are in the toilet. Call him, and tell him he's got the job."

Eisner then shifted his attention to the animators. "As for you..." he said, pulling out a well-worn book and sliding it across the desktop, "...I want animation to start adapting this."

Tex Avery flipped the book around. "Thumbelina? Sure, that's an okay fairy tale. When do you want it out? Next summer?"

"Christmas," replied Eisner.

"So... next Christmas, you mean?" asked Goldman.

"What? No, this Christmas."

Avery balked. "That's not nearly enough time to--"

Eisner raised his hand. "No, don't tell me what you can't do. Eight months is more than enough time to crank out an animated movie. And, for future reference, I'd like you to know that Universal Pictures will be releasing at least one fully-animated feature film annually. To keep ahead of Disney's curve."

Tex Avery opened his mouth to protest, then swallowed his words. Best not to upset a dragon like Mike Eisner.

--------------------------------​

Walt Disney Studios, Burbank, CA
April 5, 1980

Tony Baxter took in the intricate miniature of Discovery Bay. It was like nothing he'd ever seen. The model was incredibly detailed, right down to little figurines in Victorian clothing and the boats bobbing in the painted waves. The airship Hyperion was suspended from the ceiling by invisible plastic strings and tethered to the world below by a thick, coiled rope. Mountains streaked with veins of gold and silver towered over the steampunk paradise, begging the inhabitants below to take up a pickaxe and a hot air balloon to find their fortunes.

"It's amazing, isn't it?"

Tony whirled around, and his eyes settled on Roy Disney, who had just entered the room.

"Discovery Bay right there is worth almost a million dollars. Most of the building interiors are modeled, the train and steamboat both work, and there's real gold in them hills," said Roy, picking up a bronze statuette of an old sea captain and examining it.

"Seriously?" exclaimed Tony, mouth agape. "Why is it so..."

"Lavish? Walt Disney spares no expense, Tony. You should know that by now. Plus," he continued, "he's always had a thing for miniatures. That's what his idea for Disneyland started out as: intricate miniatures on a train that would travel the country, and people could pay to climb aboard at stops and look at the models in detail. 'Course, his ideas outgrew what a train could hold."

"They became Mickey Mouse Park, right?" asked Tony. "It was supposed to be where the LucasArts building is nowadays, across the street."

"Yes, but even then, he was still obsessed with miniatures. I take it you've seen the original ideas for Disneyland? The first maps of the park?"

Tony shook his head.

"Really?" pressed Roy, eyebrows raised in surprise and suspicion. "Well, anyways, there was this land to be between Fantasyland and Tomorrowland that was all about miniatures. I'm not exactly sure why he dropped it, but eventually it morphed into the Storybookland Canal Boats I'm Fantasyland."

"Interesting. I never knew Walt was so into miniatures," said Tony.

Roy set down the statue. "You learn something new every day, I suppose. ...Sometimes I think that the only reason he decided to make The Discovery Bay Chronicles was to build these sets."

"That, and getting me to trade Discovery Bay in Disneyland for Discoveryland in EuroDisney."

"Yes, that too."

An uncomfortable silence hung in the air as the two men fiddled with various aspects of Discovery Bay. Then, Roy spoke up again. "You know, if it wasn't for Walt, I'd be languishing in some veteran's hospital right now."

Tony furrowed his brow. "What... do you mean?"

"I got tuberculosis at the tail end of World War One. Military honorably discharged me, and sent me to some hospital in LA. Said I could probably never leave a hospital again. Then one day, Walt comes and visits. He's all excited--you know how he gets--and he's just going on and on about this new deal he's got with Margaret J. Winkler for the Alice comedies, and that he's going to found an animation studio and wants me to be his partner."

"What did you say?"

"Well I'm standing here right now, aren't I?"

"...Right."

Roy sighed. "Look, what I'm trying to say is, I'm getting old. I'm almost a decade older than Walt, and I've got a lot longer of a medical history than him. But you're young, and Walt really likes you. So, if you're ever in a situation where I'm not around, and Walt wants to make a very, very unwise financial decision... don't let him do it."

Tony nodded.

"Though, be careful. He once fired a guy on the spot who said building a ride with pirate ships dangling from the ceiling was 'impossible'."

The silence returned again.

"I'm sorry," apologized Roy. "I'm speaking like a man with a terminal disease--which I do not have, let me make myself very clear. I was just thinking of the studio's future last night... and I'd like to be able to sleep normally again, you know?"

"Yeah," said Tony nervously. "Yeah, I do."

 

[HeX]

The Fifty-Second Academy Awards came on the heels of a great year of filmmaking. The idea of a 'blockbuster' had been heating up ever since Jaws debuted in 1975, and 1979 proved itself to have had many movies in that category. Francis Ford Coppola's Apocalypse Now narrowly won the award for Best Picture over highly-reviewed biopic Kramer vs. Kramer--in fact, Kramer was shafted multiple times to many different films, chiefly Apocalypse Now (three awards) and Raiders of the Lost Ark (six awards). The event was also a landmark year in animation, it being the first time the award for Best Animated Feature was given to another studio but Disney, with Universal's Woody Woodpecker easily stomping all over non-existent competition.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences faced an interesting dilemma in the aftermath of the ceremony. Many in Hollywood and around the world were infuriated that a 'children's movie' like Raiders could have done so well. This, compounded with the intense pushback in 1978 over the award of Best Director to George Lucas for Star Wars, led to a divide in the Academy on the topic of quality to be found in action-adventure movies like Raiders or science-fantasy like Star Wars or Alien. This would come back in just one year to almost destroy the Academy's credibility in one spectacular backfire when, at the 53rd Oscars, they sidestepped one non-traditional film and caused nationwide--and industry-wide--outrage...

Awards Won at the 52nd Academy Awards
Best Picture: Apocalypse Now
Best Director: Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, Raiders of the Lost Ark
Best Actor: Harrison Ford, Raiders of the Lost Ark
Best Actress: Sally Field, Norma Rae
Best Supporting Actor: Melvyn Douglas, Being There
Best Supporting Actress: Meryl Streep, Kramer vs. Kramer
Best Original Screenplay: Breaking Away, Steve Tesich
Best Screenplay Adapted from Other Material: Apocalypse Now, Francis Ford Coppola/John Milius and Joseph Conrad
Best Animated Feature: Woody Woodpecker, Gary Goldman and John Pomeroy
Best Animated Short Film: Every Child, Derek Lamb
Best Documentary Feature: Best Boy, Ira Wohl
Best Documentary Short Subject: Paul Robeson: Tribute to an Artist, Saul J. Turell
Best Live Action Short Film: Board and Care, Sarah Pillsbury and Ron Ellis
Best Original Score: Raiders of the Lost Ark, John Williams
Best Adaptation Score: All That Jazz, Ralph Burns
Best Original Song: "Rainbow Connection," The Muppets Movie, Paul Williams and Kenny Ascher
Best Sound: Raiders of the Lost Ark, Bill Varney, Steve Maslow, Gregg Landaker, and Roy Charman
Best Foreign Language Film: The Tin Drum, West Germany
Best Costume Design: All That Jazz, Albert Wolsky
Best Art Direction: Raiders of the Lost Ark, Norman Reynolds, Leslie Dilley, Michael Ford
Best Cinematography: Apocalypse Now, Vittorio Storaro
Best Visual Effects: Alien, H.R. Giger, Carlo Rambaldi, Brian Johnson, Nick Allder, and Dennis Ayling
Best Film Editing: Raiders of the Lost Ark, Michael Kahn

--------------------------------
​

Walt Disney Studios, Burbank, CA
April 18, 1980

Osamu Tezuka gazed up at the sight of the Mickey Mouse-emblazoned watertower that dominated the Burbank skyline. The flight from Tokyo to Los Angeles had been abominable--ten hours in an enclosed metal capsule without sleep wasn't fun, no matter how much legroom you had--but here he was, with two of his most promising new recruits: nineteen-year-old college dropout Masanori Ota, and twenty-six-year-old Katsuhiro Otomo.

"You know, if Astro Boy becomes as famous as Mickey Mouse, we could get our own water tower like that," quipped Ota.

Tezuka shrugged. "And what would the advantage to that be? We already have indoor plumbing and water in every part of the studio."

"Bragging rights," stated Otomo.

As the three Japanese animators stepped onto Dopey Drive, the whole demeanor of the world changed. No more did it feel like Burbank, California, home to some of the world's greatest filmmaking studios; it felt more like a dreamworld come to life, bending to one rule and one rule alone: there were no rules. A man in a Roman chariot pulled by a horse roared past, hollering to get out of the way. A purple animatronic dragon, a ram clutching an old-timey explosives plunger in its teeth, and a variety of pirates all loaded in a trailer was being towed by a pickup truck in the opposite direction. Someone holding a large art folder screamed as the wind picked up, blew the folder open, and scattered their drawings and computer-generated renderings everywhere.

"It's chaos!" exclaimed Otomo.

"I don't know about that. I'd say it's more like... controlled chaos. Walt doesn't care how things get done, as long as they get done right," said Tezuka.

His employees nodded. "Definitely not how we would do it in Japan," mused Ota, "but if it works out, well..."

After a bit of blind stumbling, Tezuka and the others managed to get directions up to Walt's office. There, the man himself sat in his desk chair, swiveled in the wrong direction, towards a television set showing a black-and-white cartoon. He spoke, addressing the group but with his focus still on the TV. "You know, Tezuka-san, I can't quite understand why Eastern animation has had to wait this long to hop the Pacific. Some of the ideas and plotlines are admittedly a bit strange, and it'll probably take Western audiences a bit to warm up to it all... but other than that, this is just another way to tell a story."

Tezuka looked closer, and noticed that Walt wasn't watching just any anime, but his anime. The 1963 version of Astro Boy, to be specific. "I'm flattered you think so," he replied.

Walt switched off the television and spun to face the trio. "Do any of you have any guesses as to why I called you all here?"

Tezuka gulped. "Um... I hope it's good news."

Walt suddenly broke into a grin. "It's very good news! I've just watched the old Astro Boy cartoons. This is my third time through, actually. And I just have to say, I love it. If the remake is anything as excellent as this--and I think it'll be better--then we'll be needing more anime on the Disney Channel, ASAP. That's what I called you here for, and, for the record," continued Walt, turning to Masanori Ota and Katsuhiro Otomo, "I told him to bring his two best idea-makers along, too."

Both men seemed to suddenly take an interest in their shoes, faces red with pride and embarassment.

"Anyways, what have you got? Give me the first ideas off the tops of your heads, you two," he demanded.

Ota spoke up first. "Um, I had this idea for... sort of a retelling of the Titanomachy, the war between the gods and Titans in Greek mythology, but told in the future, and with androids in place of the gods and goddesses."

"Boom," said Walt. "Just like that, you've got one, maybe two seasons of a TV show. And there's so much more to build off of, too."

"I've got a concept that's a bit more fleshed out than his, sir," offered Otomo.

Walt held up a hand. "Please, call me Walt. We don't do 'sirs' or 'madams' around here."

The writer nodded. "Apologies. My story takes place sometime in the future, after a nuclear holocaust. In the ruins of Tokyo, a young man awakens some psychic powers, and from there there are some big problems with gang wars, terrorism, the Olympic Games... maybe some of the violence can be tuned down, but I won't do it in a way that will compromise my vision."

"Of course. Artistic integrity always comes first," responded Walt.

Suddenly, the phone rang. Walt answered, and his expression fell. He stood, and said, "I'm very sorry, but I've got an emergency at home. The dog's not doing too well, and my wife loves the thing, and... well, I have to go. But I'll be back soon! Just make yourselves at home. We still have much to discuss."

 

[HeX]

JVC Headquarters, Yokohama, Kanagawa Prefecture, Japan
April 20, 1980

"The VHS player is compatible with any television. Its picture quality is that of a standard television broadcast, and it has enough recording tape inside to store over two hours of video."

Roy took a step back and held the VHS tape up to the light. "So, basically better than the Betamax in every way?"

Kenjiro Takayanagi, pioneer of television, paused, then said, "Well, unfortunately it's not, the Betamax has superior quality to its recordings, at the cost of less recording time. But, really, which would you prefer--watching all of a baseball game in broadcast quality, or watching most of a baseball game in higher quality, only to have the tape run out and the recording stop with bases loaded, bottom of the ninth?"

"The first one, I suppose. But we did run in this month's Fun Club News that at least the first batch of films would be coming to VHS and Betamax. And, I might add, Sony has been very cooperative."

"I suppose I can't argue with that," sighed Takayanagi. "You are a businessman, after all. Playing the field is what you're paid to do."

"It is, isn't it?"

"You said over the phone you had a selection of films for the 'first batch' of VHS. Might I..."

"Oh, right! Sorry. The movies we want put out first are Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Pinocchio, Fantasia, Dumbo, Bambi, and The Reluctant Dragon. All on separate tapes, of course."

"Of course."

"Assuming they sell well, Walt wants to put out Saludos Amigos, Victory Through Air Power, The Three Caballeros, Make Mine Music, and Song of the South out by the year's end. If all goes well, the Walt Disney's Animated Classics brand will include every animated film in our library, and hopefully it'll justify moving on to cartoons and live-action movies on tape."

Roy and Takayanagi moved over to the window, enjoying the excellent view from so high up over Yokohama. "Japan truly is a magnificent country, Takayanagi-san. Walt Disney Studios is very happy to be working so closely with so many corporations in the Land of the Rising Sun."

Kenjiro Takayanagi smiled in return. "And I am very happy you have decided to do business with us. Disney isn't like the other American companies. You're so much more... relaxed? No, that's not right... you're homey."

"It's like one big family back in Burbank."

--------------------------------
​

Abbey Road Studios, Westminster, London, UK
April 23, 1980

"No. Absolutely not. We all agreed on it being a one time thing, with the possibility of something more. But I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be a Beatle," sighed Ringo, slumping down.

"Same here. Being a Beatle is amazing, but I was doing just fine--better, even--as a solo artist," agreed George. John and Paul didn't exactly leap out of their seats to agree, but from the looks on their faces, they did.

George Martin couldn't believe it. "Are you all out of your minds? Opening night in the Royal Albert Hall was the first time I've seen you four together and smiling since 1968. You weren't there because you had to be, you were there because you wanted to be."

"The Beatles are gone, George," insisted Paul. "It was fun, but... I don't know if I can keep up with being a Beatle, one of the Wings, performing solo--"

"Fuck the Wings! And fuck all of your solo careers, too! You might not see it, but the Beatles are what bring you all together. You all bring something to the table no one else here can. You're pieces of a puzzle, slices of a pie, parts of a whole... you're the fucking Beatles!" roared Martin.

Deafening silence filled the room.

"Look," said Martin, "You are all excellent musicians in your own rights. You are nigh untouchable in that realm. But people don't turn out for John, Paul, George, and Ringo--they turn out for the Beatles. Your new The Beatles Reunited album has gone double platinum in the US and the UK. The people want you four together."

"...The man does have a point," conceded John. "We have fans. A lot of them. And now that we're all able to sit in the same room together and not spontaneously combust... I'm all for giving the Beatles another shot."

"If John wants to do it... then I'm in," said Paul.

George leaned forward. "If we're doing this... I want more recognition than last time. I think we can agree I kinda got shafted back in the day--" Paul and John nodded begrudgingly. "--but if I can get my name on the byline next to more songs, then it's a win in my book."

"How about a compromise on that? No more Lennon-McCartney, or George Harrison, or Ringo Starr. Just 'the Beatles'. That way, everyone gets credit," proposed John.

"Interesting. I wasn't expecting you to be so selfless, John," remarked George Martin.

John shrugged. "I've had twenty years of superstardom. Everyone here has. It's time to just forgive and forget, and move on."

"And with that... I'm in too," Ringo announced. "Let's make the world rock."

 

[HeX]

The Strange Tale of Get A Horse!​

The story behind the 1980 Disney animated feature The Secret of NIMH is certainly an interesting tale. But nothing is more intriguing than the history behind its accompanying cartoon, the Mickey Mouse short Get A Horse!

The roots of Get A Horse! can be easily traced, found in the 1978 Disney classic Mickey Mousecapade and its Steamboat Willie remake. Don Bluth's animation team had been entrusted the task of creating a new Mickey Mouse movie for the rodent's golden anniversary, no easy matter with Walt Disney breathing down their necks. The film went through many, many, many revisions, with new ideas being thrown in and out left and right. One entertaining but ultimately unimportant segment that was thrown out while storyboarding was some farm hijinx, where Mickey and his horse, Tanglefoot, got into all sorts of funny situations. Scrapped for time, the segment found new life when Bluth decided he wanted another Mickey cartoon to come before Disney's next movie.

Drawing from inspirations such as Mickey's Polo Team (1936) and the ever-ubiquitous Floyd Gottfredson comic strips, Don Bluth successfully crafted the first new Mickey Mouse cartoon since 1953, and the mouse's first solo outing since Thru the Mirror in 1936. None of his pals showed up, not Minnie, not Donald, nor Goofy or Pluto. Mickey and Tanglefoot, his ornery, annoying, and dumb speckled equine companion, faced off against Pegleg Pete in a horse race of epic proportions, with cheating abound. When Walt was shown the near-completed cartoon, Bluth said that he "just laughed his ass off, and congratulated me on recapturing the spirit of Mickey."

Walt was so enthralled by Get A Horse! that he decided to have the cartoon run in front of all of his films out at the time, sans Mickey Mousecapade, which already had Steamboat Willie playing in advance. Running a Disney cartoon before Raiders of the Lost Ark seemed a little tone-deaf, but proved not to be, in the long run. Together, the two Mickey cartoons and the animated film unleashed upon the world a new era of Mickey-mania unseen since the '30s. Mickey merchandising, despite its seemingly unending flow, eventually ran out of stock nationwide. A Steamboat Willie-costumed Mickey Mouse doll became the hottest toy of the year, breaking all records and selling out by Thanksgiving. When Black Friday 1980 kicked in, more than a few injuries were sustained by bargain-hunting parents searching for the plushie. Box office revenues for Mickey Mousecapade received a second wind, as America and the world's children flooded movie theaters to see Disney's icon on the big screen--again.

Get A Horse!'s success cemented the revival of the squash-and-stretch classic methods of cartooning as the only way to go about children's animation in the decade. While Universal was knee-deep in adapting Thumbelina, other film studios began looking in their grab bags of old cartoons to revive interest in. MGM, on the verge of splitting in half, threw themselves headfirst into resurrecting Tom and Jerry. Paramount's Famous Studios summoned Casper the Friendly Ghost back from beyond the grave. And Warner Brothers began to seriously consider buckling down and returning Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and the Looney Toons gang back to the limelight. But none could or would ever compare to Walt Disney's greatest creation, Mister Cartoon himself, Mickey Mouse.

 

[HeX]

April 29, 1980

Steve Jobs tossed his copy of the latest Popular Electronics mag across the Apple headquarters' shiny new wooden meeting table. "Have you heard about the new Disney flick Hollywood's all up in arms about?"

Steve Wozniak, still focused on his whiteboard, replied, "TRON? 'Course I have. That movie's really going to show off what the computer is capable of."

"Maybe we could partner with Disney or something. You know, make a special edition Apple II with TRON imagery on the side or something," suggested Jobs.

"Not a bad idea, Steve," remarked the Woz. "Gotta convince Disney first, though."

"Yeah, it was just a thought. Hey, Woz, have you been thinking about the successor to the Apple II operating system yet? I know it's only been out two years, but..." Jobs took a swig of his coffee and reclined in his seat. "...I mean, it's never to early to start planning ahead, right?"

"Steve, Apple DOS has three years at least left on it to run. It's definitely too early to start planning," sighed Steve Wozniak from where he stood at the company whiteboard. "And don't even get me started on the OS for the Apple III. That baby was completed a week ago. And the damn microcomputer isn't even on the shelves yet."

"True, true, but I can't say I've enjoyed the work Shepardson Microsystems has been doing. Apple DOS is certainly easy to use, but there's so much more we can do with the computers. And the Apple II family is the perfect place to test it. Seriously, we can just slap the new code on the fucking Apple II Plus or whatever and test the waters."

"If you're so dead set on a new OS, why don't you just let me write it?" the Woz demanded.

"...Because I already hired the new guys I wanted to work on it."

"Steve--"

"Hey, hey, hold up, hear me out. IBM was courting these two guys, they've got a small startup company up in Washington State, they were fiddling around with some variations of Unix but said they wanted to branch out into DOS. I took a chance and gave them a contract before our biggest rival could."

"Are you going to tell me their names, at least?" asked Wozniak.

"Why would I do that when they're here right now?" replied Jobs.

In through the doors walked two young men, one with a particularly bushy beard, the other a large pair of square glasses. "We were waiting outside for an hour-and-a-half for that?" exclaimed the latter.

"It's all about making an entrance, Bill," said Jobs. "Half of this business is knowing how to show off your product. No one cares how powerful a computer is, but if you've got good presentation and a killer ad campaign... anyways, Steve Wozniak, meet our newest OS authors: Bill Gates and Paul Allen of Microsoft."

"I'm really excited to be working with you, Mister Wozniak," gushed Bill, vigorously shaking the Woz's hand.

"Yeah, sure," he returned. Wozniak walked over to the door, pissed at Jobs' sheer audacity in hiring these two without even telling him. "Bit of advice for you both," he continued. "Don't fuck this up."

 

[HeX]

On May 12, 1980, the world of entertainment shifted its gaze to the small Italian town of Aprilia, Italy. For almost two years, Walt Disney Studios had been planning and constructing their fifth theme park, EuroDisney, the company's first major foray into Europe. Designed largely by up-and-coming Imagineer Tony Baxter, the park consisted of five main lands, two of which were major shake-ups to the traditional Castle Park formula, and another which was a fresh take on an old idea. EuroDisney itself proved to be a massive success, plopped right in the center of Disney's second heartland and drawing in guests from Iberia to Anatolia. No other amusement park on the continent could compete. Even Soviet General Secretary Leonid Brezhnev and his wife and Pope John Paul II paid a visit (not at the same time, obviously). It was an overnight sensation, and something ol' Mikey Eisner could only grind his teeth over.

As with every Disney Park, EuroDisney welcome's its guests through its gates into a familiar, nostalgic, and above all else peaceful land. For the American Castle Parks, this role was filled by Main Street, USA, an avenue themed around turn-of-the-century America. At Disneyopolis, Kodai Machi replaced Main Street, and echoed the city streets of old Kyoto and Imperial Japan. EuroDisney took things a step further into the past with the Ancient Forum, based upon the metropolitan haven of Rome at the height of its empire. Unlike those other entry lands, however, the Ancient Forum has far more complexities than a mere straight shot down the center. While a main road runs through it all from the entrance to the Hub, there are a multitude of side roads and back alleys to explore. Guests enter through the turnstiles into the Forum Romanum, which is surrounded by all sorts of restaurants, eateries, and buildings for shows and events. Inside a replica of the Pantheon, guests can witness an on-stage retelling of Homer's classic tale, The Odyssey; in a reproduction of the Colosseum, gladiators battle it out to the "death", with the skilled performers even going toe-to-toe with live animals, and making the fights look as real as possible. Oddities from around the Mediterranean world and even exotic, mysterious lands like China and Africa are displayed for sale on every street corner. And while the roads and paths all intertwine like Italian spaghetti, leading to private cul-de-sacs or passing by squares with gorgeous fountains and statues honoring the gods, generals, and emperors of Rome, they all in the end coalesce into one main street at the entrance to the Hub, to keep people from getting lost in Roma.

Immediately on the left from the entrance to the Hub from the Ancient Forum is Adventureland. This land sustained more than a few changes from its Anaheim, Orlando, and Tokyo counterparts, with the focus on Polynesia and South America being lost in favor of a heightened exploration of Africa and Southeast Asia, lands far more familiar to the European populace thanks to decades of colonization. The land opens in an area based upon Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, and the Mekong River basin, though obviously devoid of any communist symbols that so defined the region's prominence in the 1970s and 1980s. Instead, Buddhist temples dot the thick jungle landscape, with a winding dirt road--sometimes referred to as the Ho Chi Minh Trail--connecting a few, though the vast majority are merely unreachable, forced perspective eye candy. A version of the Enchanted Tiki Room appears here, though with more Vietnamese-focused themes. Further into the land, the theming transitions from Indochina to the fertile lands surrounding the Nile River, as Vietnam becomes Egypt. While no pyramids make any appearances, iconic structures like the Sphinx do, as well as a massive model of a tomb, complete with four titanic pharaoh statues flanking the entrance, echoing the Tomb of Ramses II. Within this structure is Adventureland's main E-ticket attraction, the Cycle of the Sun. Guests board the god Ra's ship, the Boat of a Million Years, and follow him through the twelve Egyptian hours of day, followed by the twelve hours of night, spent traveling through the Duat. Although things start out well, at the gates to the underworld, the trickster Set, enemy of the gods, reveals he has in fact taken control of the route usually followed by the Boat of a Million Years, and manages to kidnap Ra before flying off. Horus and Bastet immediately appear, and they enlist the guests in their chase after Set through the Duat. A multitude of famous Egyptian deities, including Osiris, Isis, Thoth, Sebek, and Anubis, show up along the way, until Set is eventually captured and Ra set free to start the cycle anew. Moving on past Egypt, the land transforms for the final time into the tropics of South China. As with all other Castle Parks, EuroDisney comes equipped with a pirates-themed attraction. Unlike the other parks, this comes in the form of Pirates of the South China Sea, loosely based on the exploits of Ching Shih, the Pirate Queen of the Qing Dynasty in the early nineteenth century. All the familiar elements are there--cursed gold, pirates raiding a coastal city, funny piratical hijinx--but with a Chinese coat of paint on them. For instance, instead of Caribbean pirates invading a Spanish town, the Chinese junks are laying siege to the Portuguese possession of Macao, at the mouth of the Pearl River. Both Adventureland rides were instant hits, though some mourned the lack of a version of the Jungle Cruise.

For the most part, the essence Frontierland remains the same as its other global counterparts. However, it has taken on more than a few welcome alterations in its jump across the Atlantic. Grizzly Gulch Railroad is the icon of the land, and combines Big Lightning Mountain with the defunct Disneyland attraction the Mine Train Through Nature's Wonderland as a runaway train hurtles through an abandoned diamond mine. Geyser Falls, a drop tower attraction, stands nearby, overlooking the land. But the most interesting addition to the Frontier is Phantom Manor. EuroDisney's resident version of another beloved Imagineering classic, Phantom Manor puts an interesting spin on the traditional Haunted Mansion formula by introducing the Ravenwood family and, as an extension, the entire world of The Discovery Bay Chronicles and the S.E.A., into the ever-expanding Disney Parks universe. It also drops subtle hints along the way that the Ravenwood family of the S.E.A. is in fact the same Ravenwood family as seen in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Taking place in the 1920s, the Society of Explorers and Adventurers have enlisted guests to help them explore the old Ravenwood Manor, on the edge of the Old West boomtown of Lightning Mesa. In the 1860s, Marietta Ravenwood, the older sister of DBC star Melanie Ravenwood, wished to marry the love of her life in San Francisco. Her father, Henry Ravenwood, was an extremely jealous and cruel man, and he refused to let his daughter leave Lightning Mesa. Melanie tried to get around this rule by having her fiance come to the town, but Henry was having none of it. On his daughter's wedding day, he murdered her husband-to-be with an axe in the attic of his mansion. Melanie was enraged, but just then, a huge earthquake struck the town, leaving the mansion in ruins and killing the entire Ravenwood family. However, it's revealed over the course of the ride that both Melanie and her father, now a black specter known as the Phantom, live on in the gap between realms as ghosts, both attempting to thwart one another any chance they're given. Whereas the form of the Haunted Mansion at Disneytropolis emphasized the horror aspect of the ride, Phantom Manor focused on the storytelling, as the new generation of Imagineers worked with the old to form something completely original.

 

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Walt Disney Studios had, since 1928, consistently churned out iconic cartoons, movies, and characters without fail. In 1954, when Walt was planning one of his many magnum opi, the original Disneyland, he made the shocking but in retrospect wise decision to relegate the vast majority of his famed films to a single part of the park: Fantasyland. EuroDisney was no different, prominently featuring the land as always. However, while Fantasyland at Disneyland, the Magic Kingdom, and Disneytropolis were light on the actual fantasy theming outside of the rides, mostly sticking to an ambiguous "medieval" setting, EuroDisney dove into it full-force. Being located on a continent more than acclimated to kings, queens, dragons, and knights, a mere castle didn't pack the same punch in Italy as one in America. This required the Imagineers to get creative with their designs. Snow White Castle, the park's icon, was far more fantastical than any of the other medieval fortresses that so characterized the Disney Parks. It was a truly spectacular sight, utterly dominating the Aprilia skyline at 185 feet--the tallest castle yet--and spiraling high into the wild blue yonder. The European castle was also unique in the fact that guests could actually go inside of it, able to traverse the dungeons of the Evil Queen, the diamond caverns of the Seven Dwarfs, and even the den of a massive, slumbering, jet-black animatronic dragon, nicknamed "Pete" for the title character of the 1977 animated/live-action Disney film, Pete's Dragon.

Snow White Castle

Pete the Dragon​

The rest of Fantasyland was just as exciting. The tried and true attractions of Peter Pan's Flight and Dumbo the Flying Elephant were both present, but that was where the resemblances stopped. Neverland and Tom Sawyer Island had been fused together to create a place of wonder for children to explore, as Captain Hook's ship, the Jolly Roger, sailed in Pirate Bay around the island. Hangman's Tree, hideout of the Lost Boys, was present and open for venturing into, and glimpses of a hidden fairy civilization could be seen all over. Alice in Wonderland, Mary Poppins, Mister Toad, the Matterhorn Bobsleds, and Pinocchio were nowhere to be found, for the Imagineers had taken steps into new frontiers with this Fantasyland. The Hundred Acre Wood was open for business, allowing guests to follow Pooh, Piglet, Tigger, and the rest on their search for a Heffalump. A Hundred and One Dalmatians made its Disney Park debut with 101 Dalmatians: The Great Escape!, in which guests take a ride on a rickety old Model T down the streets of 1920s London to escape Cruella De Vil with a basket of dalmatian puppies in the backseat. Alongside Merlin and a young Arthur, guests are sent into the world of The Sword in the Stone and the Kingdom of Camelot, evading the evil Morgana le Fay at every turn. Outside the attraction is a model of Excalibur embedded in stone, which people take turns trying to pull out. Bald Mountain, however, was the thrilling centerpiece of the land. Clocking in at 180 feet tall and with a ride time of three minutes, guests bravely stepped into the shoes of explorers investigating a mountain never before climbed in the Swiss Alps. They soon realize why it has never been climbed before when they encounter Chernabog and his demonic servants, who pursue the guests down the icy slopes at speeds of over thirty miles an hour.

Skull Rock, part of the fully-explorable Neverland Island

The Demon King Chernabog, from the "Night on Bald Mountain" segment of 1940's Fantasia​

A bit of Fantasyland leaks into the next land: Discoveryland. Born from the imagination of Imagineer Tony Baxter and originally designed as a much smaller addition to Disneyland Park in Anaheim, Discoveryland takes the classic Tomorrowland formula and turns it on its head by looking to the past for inspiration. It is not the future as thought up by the people of the modern day, but the future as seen by the likes of Jules Verne, H. G. Wells, Thomas Edison, and Nikola Tesla--steampunk, if you will. Guests enter the land from the hub through a pass betwixt two towering mountains, both of which display massive veins of rich gold, silver, and diamonds on their faces. The buildings themselves are obviously Victorian but with a futuristic twist, such as the park completely under glass or the airship hangar the famous Hyperion airship juts out of. In the nearby lagoon, a creature suspiciously similar to the Loch Ness Monster pops its head up every so often to greet passersby. The sensibilities of the Victorian Era are fused with advanced, steam-powered technology to create something new. Nowhere is this more apparent than with the land's flagship attraction, Space Mountain: From the Earth to the Moon. Based upon Jules Verne's legendary 1865 novel of the same name, guests board a car and are launched from a cannon (built by the Baltimore Gun Club) to space, weaving in and out of asteroids and, eventually, craters on the lunar surface. The ride finishes not back at the entrance, but on the second story of the structure, made to look like a lunar base that guests are free to explore to their hearts' content before leaving. The Verne influences didn't stop there, though, as EuroDisney's mandatory submarine ride was ripped straight from the pages of the Voyages Extrordinaires. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: Submarine Voyage was by far the most ambitious sub ride in Imagineering history up to that point, with almost too much detail. The ride follows the plot of the original story pretty closely, showing guests the corals of the Red Sea, the wrecks of the Battle of Vigo Bay, the Antarctic ice shelves, the Transatlantic cable, the legendary submerged ruins of Atlantis, and the encounter with the giant squid, all the while dialogue from Captain Nemo and his crew can be heard under the narration of Aronnax and Ned Land. Just as with the literary classic, the ride climaxes with the Nautilus slipping into the Maelstrom, a hurricane of mythical proportions, and just barely escaping. Discoveryland's third and final E-Ticket attraction was the Laod Bhang Fireworks Factory, an on-rails shooting gallery (picture OTL Toy Story Mania but with physical sets) through Discoveryland's own Chinatown district.

Space Mountain: From the Earth to the Moon​

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: Submarine Voyage

Part of the Exterior to Laod Bhang Fireworks Factory​

Outside of that holy trinity, there was still a lot more to do in Discoveryland. Being less popular and thrilling, The Island at the Top of the World wasn't ranked as highly as those three, but the trip taken on the Hyperion airship to the Arctic Circle and back was certainly exciting. Though the Carousel of Progress was absent, the ride structure wasn't, being utilized in Professor Marvel's Gallery as the kooky abbn animatronic scientist showed off a handful of strange and unusual things he'd encountered on his trips to far-off places, such as Incan silver, a Russian Fabergé egg, the Trident of Poseidon, and a golden totem he'd "gotten from a guy named Jones." Professor Marvel himself was joined onstage by a group of "Talking Heads," three wisecracking African headdresses that just wouldn't shut up the entire show. Another roller coaster stood just outside, the Spark Gap Loop, a much more lightly themed (and less expensive) thrill ride than its sibling, Space Mountian. However, the Spark Gap Loop, as its name implies, has two inversions, a corkscrew and a loop, as well as a few downward spirals and hills.

EuroDisney marked an important step forward in the studio's history. Though the House of Mouse's first international expansion to Japan with Disneytropolis had been a resounding success, it had been expected, as the Japanese seemed to eat up American culture. A park in Europe was a test of the Disney brand, and, while it had been built in the most Disney-adoring country on the continent, it had done even better than Disneytropolis. On Opening Day, May 12, 1980, a projected 55,000 people were expected to attend the festivities. Much to everyone's surprise, grand total of 100,000 people showed up, ten thousand more than the park's maximum capacity. Though nowhere near as big a disaster as Disneyland's Opening Day (known around the studio as "Black Sunday"), there were still plenty of problems, such as the park running out of food by the mid-afternoon, crowd control issues, and running out of ticket books by nightfall (this would lead to the Disney Parks abandoning ticket books altogether in 1981 and adopting a system of paying one price for unlimited rides). Complaints about Space Mountain being just space mountain when guests had heard rumors of it being a much larger structure called Discovery Mountain were put to rest with assurances that drop-tower ride based on Journey to the Center of the Earth would be coming soon.

Disaster, Walt Disney knew, was the greatest barometer of a theme park's success. And by all accounts, EuroDisney was in for one hell of a time.

 

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"We're more popular than Jesus now; I don't know which will go first – rock 'n' roll or Christianity. Jesus was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It's them twisting it that ruins it for me."
--John Lennon, from a March 1966 interview with the London magazine The Evening Standard

"God is a concept
By which we measure
Our pain"
--Lyrics to "God" by John Lennon

"Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky"
--Lyrics to "Imagine" by John Lennon

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*The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson begins.*

Ed McMahon: Everyone, give it up for your host! He's mean, he's lean, he's a lip-flapping machine! Heeeeeeeeere's Johnny!

Johnny Carson: *Already seated and eagerly grinning* Ladies and gentlemen, have we got a show for you tonight! It's been a bumpy ride for these four fine folks the last ten years, but they're finally reunited and back in action. Give it up for... the Beatles!

*The camera pans to the left, focusing on on John, Paul, George, and Ringo as they come onstage from behind the curtain, smiling and waving. The crowd goes wild.*

Ringo: I don't think we need much of an introduction at this point.

Carson: No, you really don't. You could've probably walked out here with bags on your heads and they still would've recognized you four.

*The four musicians all laugh as they sit down, while the crowd cheers harder.*

Carson: So, uh, you're back! If I remember correctly, this is your first televised appearance all together in... what, ten, eleven years?

Paul: Um... eleven sounds right.

Carson: So it is a great honor of ours to be the hosts of your first TV reunion, us here at NBC. But, um, anyways, moving past that, I think I speak for all of us Beatlemaniacs here when I ask this: what, exactly, are you guys up to now?

Paul: *Chuckling* I'm afraid that's classified information, Johnny.

John: But, rest assured, we are working on new music.

Carson: Well, that's good to hear. I've been listening to "Always and Forever" for weeks, and I could sure use some new tunes to go along with it. Though, I understand Reunited has gone triple platinum by this point, so it's probably no rush to you, is it?

Paul: Well...

John: I wouldn't say that.

Ringo: Is it too early to tell them?

George: I don't think so.

Paul: Let's just tell them.

Carson: *On the edge of his seat* Tell us what?

George: We've got a new album coming out in a few weeks, as a matter of fact. It's mostly work that we'd been doing independently...

Paul: ...but we've tweaked them some to give it that... Beatles flavor, you know?

*The audience has gone ballistic, screaming and shouting in excitement. Carson waits for them to quiet down.*

Carson: So... wow, that's some big news. Big news. And in just a few weeks?

Ringo: Yep. And the tour starts May 16, 1980, in New York. Mark your calendars.

Carson: I'll be sure to! Just four days after EuroDisney opens, yeah?

Paul: Right.

Carson: If it's anything like what you put out in the Sixties, you four will be more popular than Queen by next month. Heck, you'll be more popular than Elvis!

John: Johnny, we'll be more popular than Jesus again.

--Opening segment of the April 3, 1980 episode of The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson

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​

The grand return of the Beatles was unprecedented, but their creation of a new album, Reefer Madness, within a few months of reuniting was unheard of. Granted, most of the tunes had been halfway finished and intended as songs for their solo careers or other bands, like Paul's Wings, but many were wholly original. Notably, this was the last Beatles album to feature bylines next to the songs, with all future albums simply stating "By the Beatles" on the back. It also marks the band's lone foray into the world of minimalist electronic music, with McCartney's "Temporary Secretary":

Reefer Madness
Side One
​

1. Writing's on the Wall (Harrison)
2. Nobody Told Me (Lennon)
3. Wrack My Brain (Harrison)
4. Dead Giveaway (Starr)
5. Greased Lightning (Starr)

Side Two​

1. Private Property (McCartney)
2. Child's Play (Lennon)
3. Water Under the Bridge (Lennon-McCartney)
4. Temporary Secretary (McCartney)
5. Save the World (Harrison)

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Madison Square Garden, New York City
May 16, 1980

"Now that was a show!" yelled Paul McCartney.

The four Beatles stumbled out of the back entrance to Madison Square Garden. Their bodyguards and security team had miraculously managed to hold back the tide of news reporters and rabid fans that normally swarmed the group all day long, which meant they were free of any and all distractions for the time being. Just their kooky quartet out on the streets of Manhattan.

"I'll second that statement," agreed George.

"Speakers sure have gotten a lot better than when we were kids, huh? I think the crowd could actually hear us play tonight!" shouted Ringo.

They kept on walking, perhaps a bit speedier than normal--New York wasn't exactly the safest city in the world--but they were so high on adrenaline they didn't very much care. It probably wasn't a good idea, in any case, but who cared? They were The Beatles, for God's sake. They did what they wanted to.

"Where do you live again, John?" asked George.

"The Dakota. Up on West 72nd Street and the park," he replied. "Hey, I hate to cut the party short, but I do really have to get home. Yoko's taking care of the kids all by herself, and--"

"We'll walk you there, howabout?" Ringo cut in.

"Alright. Just... okay. That'll be fine."

"You sure have become a real Billy no-mates since you got hitched, huh, John?" Paul teased.

"Aw, shove it," he replied.

The blocks blurred together, and soon, The Beatles were at the entrance to the Dakota. Passing by an alcove, the four men nodded in the general direction of a lone figure who stood there peacefully, a book under his arm. A few seconds later, and he stepped out of the shadows.

"Mister Lennon!" cried the man.

"Yes?" asked John, stopping abruptly to turn and see what was probably some fan wanting his autograph.

That was not the case. Instead, what John Lennon saw was the barrel of a revolver pointed directly at him, not ten feet away. Before he could react, the gun fired once, twice, five times.

John let out a shout, clutching his shoulder and falling to the ground. Ringo yelled, another of the bullets ricocheting and hitting his left calf. Blood was flying everywhere. The remaining two Beatles turned and saw the carnage that had happened in an instant.

"Holy shit!" screamed Ringo.

Paul and George looked at each other, then sprang into action. The former leapt and tackled the assailant, while the latter started tying a tourniquet on John's arm. There were two bullets lodged there, one next to the other. Had either one been just a few inches to the left, it would've hit his heart.

"Hey, we need some help over here, mate!" Ringo roared through clenched teeth to the general direction of the Dakota lobby. A second later, alerted by the gunshots, a security guard hurtled down the stairs.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?" Paul yelled at the shooter that squirmed beneath his hold.

Mark Chapman smiled eerily. "Yes, I just shot John Lennon."