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Great chapter! Nice one :)

Heck, when I was a kid I remember watching James Bond movies on VHS - they were all PG-rated, except for License to Kill and Goldeneye. They did used to be so damn cavalier about what kids watched.

Though mind you, I think it's hilarious that anyone could think Disney - or any animation studio from back in the day - was always 100% kid-friendly. This only slightly hyperbolic quote sums it up:



And the fact is...a lot of the time, kids like dark.

Thanks, TGDH2F. And yea, James Bond. Wow. Even beyond the sex & violence there's some truly fuktup stuff in the old Bond flicks. "Remember, kids, Lesbians are just confused women that need a tough man to rape 'em straight!" - "Lesson" Goldfinger taught us 🙄.

And yea, anyone who thinks that children are gentle and innocent is epically naive. Kids can be some dark li'l bastards.

This is one of the most unique pop culture TLs I've seen, @Geekhis Khan...

Thanks, Unknown, I appreciate it.

Plus, a lot of so-called safe morality tale kid's stuff are ironically just as if not dark then the so called dark stuff. Drug and Delinquent PSAs come to mind.

Yep. D.A.R.E. even managed to fail so epically that it may have increased teen drug use in the '80s. And as to dark: read the original Brothers Grim stuff. Snow White (Schneewitchen) is psychotic!! "Cookoo, cookoo, there's blood on the shoe!"

PG just mean parental guidance, maybe parents were better at parenting them so kids were give more range as they knew what was fantasy and what reality

A little bit of that, a little bit of Times Change (nudity was far less taboo in the '70s and the '80s loved violence like no other decade), and a bit of side-dealling with the MPAA by studios ("this new Rolex says 'Beastmaster can leave in the tits'.").
 
A little bit of that, a little bit of Times Change (nudity was far less taboo in the '70s and the '80s loved violence like no other decade), and a bit of side-dealling with the MPAA by studios ("this new Rolex says 'Beastmaster can leave in the tits'.").
Yeah but that was a shame, seems people were very creative with more looser ratings too, didn't transformed added profanities just to get parents watch it with their childrens..and thus know which is each toy? :rolleyes:
 
Yep. D.A.R.E. even managed to fail so epically that it may have increased teen drug use in the '80s. And as to dark: read the original Brothers Grim stuff. Snow White (Schneewitchen) is psychotic!! "Cookoo, cookoo, there's blood on the shoe!"

In the movie Reefer Madness (1936), the opening sequence has a scene where the authorities burn the marijuana...in a public incinerator, of all things; to quote one review "What, are they trying to get the whole town high?" The irony being that, when Reefer Madness would be screened for college audiences in the late 1960s and 1970s, most of the students there were probably stoned (hell, many viewers in the 1960s and 1970s likely watched it stoned)...
 
In the movie Reefer Madness (1936), the opening sequence has a scene where the authorities burn the marijuana...in a public incinerator, of all things; to quote one review "What, are they trying to get the whole town high?" The irony being that, when Reefer Madness would be screened for college audiences in the late 1960s and 1970s, most of the students there were probably stoned (hell, many viewers in the 1960s and 1970s likely watched it stoned)...
Didn't the apocryphal legend that allow stoner to watch Alicia in wonderland in the late night screenings?
 
Thanks, TGDH2F.

No worries! This is awesome stuff :)

And yea, James Bond. Wow. Even beyond the sex & violence there's some truly fuktup stuff in the old Bond flicks.

Oh yes. Thunderball springs to mind...

"Remember, kids, Lesbians are just confused women that need a tough man to rape 'em straight!" - "Lesson" Goldfinger taught us 🙄.

As does that.

Funnily enough, Anthony Horowitz's Bond novel Trigger Mortis, written as taking place directly after the Goldfinger novel, corrected that. Rather than Pussy Galore being a lesbian Bond 'turns' :mad: , she's actually bi, and ends up going off with another woman who Bond had been making the moves on :p

And yea, anyone who thinks that children are gentle and innocent is epically naive. Kids can be some dark li'l bastards.

True that.
 
And watch Bray Wyatt's Firefly Fun House skits on the WWE for an example of a creepy kids show (Bray Wyatt comes off as a creepy Mr. Rogers--when he's not dressed as The Fiend (1)); Bray comes off as someone you would not want to mess with...

(1) Don't Google The Fiend mask if you don't want nightmares--The Fiend, according to Tvtropes.org, may be wrestling's first creepypasta. And Tom Savini created the mask for The Fiend, BTW (and was involved with some of the skits for Firefly Fun House, as well); interestingly, Savini served as a combat photographer in Vietnam in 1969, which was the impetus for his movie makeup career (1969 was a very bloody year for the US in Vietnam)...
 
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In the movie Reefer Madness (1936), the opening sequence has a scene where the authorities burn the marijuana...in a public incinerator, of all things; to quote one review "What, are they trying to get the whole town high?" The irony being that, when Reefer Madness would be screened for college audiences in the late 1960s and 1970s, most of the students there were probably stoned (hell, many viewers in the 1960s and 1970s likely watched it stoned)...

My favorite thing was Mike Nelson doing a Rifftrack on Reefer Madness.

Didn't the apocryphal legend that allow stoner to watch Alicia in wonderland in the late night screenings?

We're all just a little bit mad here.

And watch Bray Wyatt's Firefly Fun House skits on the WWE for an example of a creepy kids show (Bray Wyatt comes off as a creepy Mr. Rogers--when he's not dressed as The Fiend (1)); Bray comes off as someone you would not want to mess with...

(1) Don't Google The Fiend mask if you don't want nightmares--The Fiend, according to Tvtropes.org, may be wrestling's first creepypasta. And Tom Savini created the mask for The Fiend, BTW...

Aww, come on. How scary can it...{googles}....GHAAAAAAA!!!! 😲
 
The election of Ronnie seems to have begun the push back against all that permissiveness- I wonder if this Timeline will show us something different?
 
Part III; David Lazer IV: The Muppet Board of Directors
Part III: Something Wicked This Way Comes
“How good and thoughtful he is; the world seems full of good men—even if there are monsters in it.” - Bram Stoker, Dracula


Chapter 11; Old Suits, New Suits, Borrowed Suits, Blue Suits
Excerpt from Renegade Suit, the autobiography of David Lazer (with Jay O’Brian).


It’s a tradition among Suits that you give the boss two send-offs when he retires. One is a small, private affair with the senior executives, usually in the exclusive back room of some hoity toity Michelin-starred restaurant. The other is a big, public affair where all (or most) of the employees can witness the “peaceful transition of power” and know that there’s no disagreement or hard feelings among the leadership, no sir, nothing but a united front here! These latter ceremonies can range from stiff, formal events with long-winded speeches to fun, free-wheeling, lively affairs. In the entertainment industry, it’s inevitably the latter, usually featuring some sort of “Show”.

Such was the case with the retirement gala for Card Walker. In February of 1983 he announced his retirement as CEO and by May he would retire as Chairman of the Board. After the former happened, but before the latter, we held his send-off. Jim, as CCO, volunteered to manage the event. He told Bernie Brillstein and me his plans, and enlisted us to make them happen.

In the name of secrecy, rather than call the local Muppets crew we enlisted the New York offices of Henson Associates. We sent them the photos and some quick Jim sketches. Kermit [Love] and Caroly [Wilcox] did not disappoint. We opened the box and looked over the new Muppets. They were perfect.

Now, Disney execs are generally not known for having the “Henson” sense of humor, so Bernie and I got them all prepared for what was coming next, or as best as we could without giving it all away. We assured them that what they were about to see is to be considered a great honor and came from a place of love. So, that March, with all the Board of Directors and most of the employees looking on, the emcee (Tom Wilhite) announced that CCO Jim Henson and his “Muppet players” had a special surprise in honor of Card Walker’s decades of honorable service to the company. The lights dimmed.

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Muppet David Lazer and Bernie Brillstein Present…
(image source for all post images “muppet.fandom.com”)

Bernie and I were as surprised as everyone when Muppet versions of ourselves appeared on stage, voiced by Jim and Richard Hunt, respectively. Originally, Jim was supposed to introduce the sketch in person. I have no idea how he smuggled the two other Muppets past us. The two (we two?) gave the opening narration, doing a sort of Abbott and Costello thing with “me” as straight man. What we the audience were about to witness, they/we told the crowd, was a fully accurate recreation of a typical meeting of the Disney Board of Directors. We would now witness an exclusive look into the events that made the company function. Then, the us-Muppets retreated as the curtains pulled back to reveal a replica of the Board of Directors conference table in the Animation building. Soon, the board members, in Muppet form, entered and took a seat.

At the head of the table was Muppet-Card Walker, played by Frank Oz. Around the table were Muppet versions of Donn Tatum (Jerry Nelson), Ron Miller (Richard Hunt), Dick Nunis (Caroll Spinney), Ray Watson (Dave Goelz), Al Gottesman (Brian Henson), Phil Hawley (Steve Whitmire), Sam Williamson (Kathryn Mullen), Roy Disney (Karen Prell), and, of course, Jim Henson (playing himself). The appearance of the “Muppet Board” caused some quiet, guarded laughs and whispers to work their way through the crowd. The Muppets then began their routine, Muppet-Card taking a roll call, each Muppet saying “here” or “present” save for Muppet-Roy, who opened his mouth, but then said nothing. The roll call finally ended with Caroline Ahmanson (Fran Brill) calling in through the speaker box in the center of the table (her frequent absences from the board and call-in attendances due to her jet-setting ways had become an unintended running joke for Jim[1]). This remote call-in was punctuated with a spotlight revealing Muppet Caroline far off in a corner, away from the stage. She was in front of a screen that displayed the image of some exotic locale…which would change with her every appearance, as would her fabulous, fashionable outfit.

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The meeting continued, Muppet-Ron announcing several increasingly bizarre “agenda items” from “Disneyland Antarctica”, to “Project Y”[2] (always whispered ominously with lots of shushing), to the pressing issue of whether, after almost 50 years, it was proper for Donald Duck to start wearing pants. Several running gags made their way through the act: Muppet-Caroline’s ever-changing location and outfit. Muppet-Ron’s speeches, inevitably full of football references, with the theme from Knut Rockne, All American playing in the background. Someone on the board asking Muppet-Roy his thoughts, to which Roy would raise a finger and open his mouth…and then sit back in silence[3] (I overheard the real Roy saying “I don’t get it”, causing a local laugh). And when someone, usually Muppet-Ron or -Dick, mentioned their new creative project, Muppet-Jim, using the most “oh, like, far out, man” hippie-dippy voice he could muster, would break in to describe his elaborate, ridiculous, and undoubtedly unaffordable ideas for the project, only for Muppet-Card to slam his gavel and dismiss the idea with a flat “no.” Even stoic Card Walker himself gave a slight chuckle the third time this happened.

By the time the sketch was done the crowd was laughing and cheering. The performers got a standing ovation. The actual board of directors seemed bemused, some not sure whether to be flattered or insulted. Finally, following Card’s lead, they too stood and delivered a standing ovation, though I assumed it was out of courtesy as much as anything.

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Jim then walked on stage, Muppet-Jim still on his arm, and called up the performers for a bow. He then described the Muppets tradition of making Muppet versions of people as a personal honor and something they reserved only for the closest friends of the Muppets. He then asked the board to join them on stage, each director getting “introduced” to their Muppet doppelgangers. He called up Bernie and me too. The crowd continued to applaud, someone even starting a “Card! Card!” chant at one point.

Ultimately, Card thanked Jim and the rest of the performers, shaking hands with Jim, Frank, and then his own Muppet-self, which drew a laugh. In the end, I think he appreciated the whole thing more in principle than he did personally, but he was a good sport about it and graciously accepted his Muppet-self as a gift, as did the rest of the board. All of the directors expressed opinions that ran from bemusement to full-on love for the show, with all making sure to shake Jim’s hand. Caroline, being a fashionista by trade, was very complimentary on the outfits her Muppet-self wore and gave both Jim and Fran a hug.

It was Card’s big moment that evening, but in a way, it was also Jim’s. For the first time Jim was fully a part of the Disney team and not just the “weird new guy”.


[1] In every appearance by Mrs. Ahmanson in Storming the Magic Kingdom she was calling in through the speakerphone from somewhere like Israel or China. It started to feel like a running joke to me reading it.

[2] Inside joke: “Project X”, a.k.a. the “Florida Project”, was the original code word for Walt Disney World & EPCOT.

[3] Roy E. Disney famously almost never spoke up on any board he was on, be that Disney or CalArts.
 
Wow- I hope someone taped that Muppet performance!

I wonder what Walker and other board members did with their Muppet selves?

Great chapter!
 
Wow- I hope someone taped that Muppet performance!

I wonder what Walker and other board members did with their Muppet selves?

Great chapter!

It was taped and eventally released to the public. Ultimately the Muppets all end up on display at EPCOT at CommuniCore around the conference table setpiece, but the various board members tended to keep them in their offices or living rooms. As a practical joke Card Walker and Donn Tatum Muppets ended up in the Statler and Waldorf booth at one point, with rumors suggesting that Walker and Tatum did it themselves.
 
Henson Bio VI: Waggle Rock
Chapter 12: Bold New Directions (Cont’d)
Excerpt from Jim Henson: Storyteller, an authorized biography by Jay O’Brian.


By January of 1983, Jim was settling in to his new executive position at Disney, a job that was bringing him both great creative satisfaction and great frustration. Disney’s World of Magic was a critical and commercial success, though not the breakout hit he and Ron Miller had hoped it would be. 1982 had been a mixed bag, with Tron being a passion project that made a good profit but never the less did not perform up to expectations and A Muppet Mystery! badly underperforming against the blockbuster E.T. Furthermore, interference and stonewalling from the Executive Committee and other entrenched conservative managers continued to impede the creative freedom he sought. 1983 promised to be a fresh new start.

The year would see some exciting new directions for both Henson and Disney. Exciting new movie deals were moving forward. Trenchcoat, Never Cry Wolf, and Splash promised to bring new adult gravitas to the flagging studio. HAW had begun developing special creature effects for both Revenge of the Jedi (as it was called at the time) and Return to Oz. Following on the success of Time Bandits, Fantasia Films partnered with Terry Gilliam and George Harrison’s HandMade Films to produce an Orwellian-inspired quasi-sequel to Time Bandits, tentatively titled 1984 & ½. Jim and Ron Miller also continued pre-production on a hybrid live-action and animation film based on the novel Who Censored Roger Rabbit? with some promising test footage voiced by comedian Paul Reubens.


Meanwhile, Ron Miller, now CEO and President, was moving full speed ahead on the Disney Channel, a premium cable subscription service (the first channel aimed specifically at families) that Miller felt would reinvigorate the Disney brand. The project was intended to be a showcase for all new programming rather than a home for syndication, and if it was going to succeed, it needed a flagship show. When the channel’s partners, Group W Satellite, dropped out of the project, causing Disney to absorb all of the costs, the flagship show’s importance became even more critical. To this end, Ron asked Jim if he had any ideas. He did, or, more accurately, he and his friend, writer Jerry Juhl, had an idea. It was a consciously international show with brand new Muppet characters which had the modest little goal of “bringing an end to war”.

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Original Michael K. Frith artwork (source: “muppet.fandom.com”)

Originally called by the working title “Wobble World[1]”, the show would focus on three interconnected species who, despite their differences, lived in a symbiotic relationship. The show would address themes of conflict resolution, diversity, tolerance, hard work, creativity, the environment, and social and emotional intelligence. The show centered around the three species: the playful, free spirited “Waggles” (renamed from the earlier “Wobbles”), who would represented the values of imagination and creativity; the studious and hardworking “Gozers[2]”, who represented the values of hard work, industry, and productivity; and the giant, gregarious Krogs, who represented providence and the finical nature of the divine. The three species lived in a circular symbiosis whereby the Krogs grow the radishes that the Gozers and Waggles harvest, the Gozers produce their myriad construction projects from the radishes that the Waggles eat (and thus keep from overgrowing the caverns), and the Waggles’ wild digging play creates new space for the Gozers to build and expand while also encouraging the periodic flooding of the Deep Spring, which in turn provides the well water to the Krogs to grow the radishes. Centered around a secret world only accessible from our world (called “Outer Space” to the Waggles) through a hole in human host “Tinker Dan’s” workshop, the central underground world of the three species would give the show its final name, Waggle Rock, a reference to both Plymouth Rock and to the rock & roll inspired score and soundtrack.

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Still more or less like this… (Image source “LA Times”)

Waggle Rock would notably be the first Muppet-based creation not helmed by Henson himself, with Jerry Juhl serving as head writer and show runner and Bernie Brillstein serving as Producer. Henson would serve as Executive Producer, direct a handful of episodes, and star occasionally as the recurring characters of “Clamm the Convincing” and his spiritualist brother “Shantus the Storyteller”. Meanwhile, outgoing Chairman Card Walker would even be tapped at Jim’s request to provide the voice for recurring character “Chairgozer Dross”, the well-dressed, comically stoic leader of the industrious Gozers. This voice casting choice would lead to an ongoing fan theory that, on some metatextual level, the Waggles represented the chaotic Henson crew, the more numerous Gozers represented the studious Disney crew, and the Krogs represented the fickle audience who were at once both the providers and the threat to the others, though Henson denied that this was the case.

Waggle Rock would go on to be a smash hit, driving Disney Channel subscriptions in the US, appearing all around the world via satellite, and even being licensed to stations in countries where the Disney Channel wasn’t yet available. Waggle Rock would also achieve a monumental milestone when it became the first western TV show to be broadcast on Soviet television[3]. Other shows on the Disney Channel didn’t perform quite as well, but a few stood out. Dreamfinders, a children’s variety show co-produced by David Lazer and hosted by Professor Dreamfinder and the animatronic Figment, became a popular after-school show that explored the possibilities of the imagination—it also served as a back-door advertisement for the new Journey into the Imagination ride at EPCOT. Lazer called it “Howdy Doody on steroids”. Mousterpiece Theater became a repository for Disney Shorts, both old and new, and was popular with all ages. And Good Morning Mickey offered a child-centric alternative to the endless Today Show rip-offs of the era. More success would be brought in when a certain Cheeky Little Engine joined the channel later that year.

Other shows on the new network would prove less successful. The New Mickey Mouse Club[4], which mixed Muppets with young human actors, was a critical and audience dud. Audiences found the mix of the ‘50s/‘60s retro and ‘80s “MTV modern” jarring. Some compared it unfavorably to both the original show and to Sesame Street. Disney and Muppet fans today like to point out the irony that an almost identical reboot show launched in the 2000s was celebrated as a fun and nostalgic mix of the old and new, but 1983 was a different time with different tastes.

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(Image source: “logos.fandom.com”)

The Disney Channel began taking more and more of Jim’s time during early 1983. Subscriptions would reach 7 million by the end of the year[5]. Working closely with founding channel President Alan Wagner, he recruited Bernie Brillstein and David Lazer, both TV veterans themselves, to execute the day to day operations of the channel. At Jim’s urging, Wagner also approached Lord Lew Grade for an executive position, but Grade turned them down, wanting to remain in his native England.

Henson felt that he owed it to Grade, who’d greenlit The Muppet Show when no one else wanted to touch it and who had been a longstanding champion of Henson’s efforts. Grade had, just two years earlier, been ousted from his own company, Associated Communications Corporation (ACC), by financier and sometime corporate raider Robert Holmes à Court. At first presenting himself as a White Knight there to rescue the failing company, Holmes à Court had subsequently orchestrated and executed a boardroom coup, ousting Grade and taking control of ACC himself[6].

Grade thanked Jim for the effort on his behalf, and expressed that the best thing he’d ever done for Jim was to sell the Muppet rights to Disney in 1980. “You seriously don’t ever want to work for Homes à Court,” he said, bitterly[7].



[1] “Woozle World” in our timeline. The original inspiration for what became Fraggle Rock in our world came in 1980 when someone at a dinner party suggested to Jim that he make a deliberately international show. Small butterflies have resulted in slightly different results than in our timeline.

[2] This name became a running gag among fans when Ghostbusters debuted the next year featuring a villain of the same name.

[3] This was the case with Fraggle Rock in our timeline.

[4] Invented for this timeline.

[5] This is far more than the paltry 611,000 subscribers from our timeline, but still far short of the 10 million subscribers that Ron Miller projected over the same time period. By comparison, HBO had about 12 million subscribers at this point. The smash success of Waggle Rock, analogous to the equivalent success of Fraggle Rock in our timeline, is largely driving the viewership, as is the near-exclusive rebroadcast of The Muppet Show, which was still very popular at this point in our timeline and in this one alike.

[6] This happened in 1982 in our timeline, but in 1981 in this one.

[7] Admittedly, Grade is highly biased in this regard. That said, recall that in our timeline Henson discovered this first hand. Where Grade had given Jim a lot of free creative reign, Holmes à Court regularly interfered with the productions, in particular The Dark Crystal, leading Jim to buy back the rights to the movie for $15 million out of pocket.
 
Amazing update buddy, yeah seems waggle rock helped disney channel a lot and very nice the show over there.
 
Not sure how I feel about the name change from 'Fraggle' to 'Waggle', the former is a trademarkable (is that a real word?) name while 'waggle' is a verb (fitting, but it's out of place compared to the uniquely named Gozers and Krogs).
Great update overall, I appreciate how you've kept changes from OTL fairly modest in these early days. Roping in Card Walker for 'Chairgozer' is a good sign there was less bad blood between him and Jim as might have been feared, although I've also noticed a tendency for people to loosen up post-retirement.
 
Waggle Rock sounds like the same silly fun as the OTL version.

Shame Lew Grade turned them down- perhaps they will need a European Exec at some point? Grade could likely contribute a lot to a European operation imho.
 
Not to jump ahead, but I wonder how Labyrinth will play out. Its likely it will be under Disney rather then TriStar ITTL, though I might be wrong.

Its the subject of the next entry, isn't it?
 
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