When you Wish Upon a Frog (Book II of the Jim Henson at Disney saga)

[Denliner]

With hatchets buried with Katzenberg, Eisner got to work as Chairman/CEO of Columbia Entertainment. His next order of business was an exploratory meeting with Time-Atlantic set up by Tartikoff to consider a future merger.

Damn, it's really impressive that Eisner managed to let go of his many grudges and rivalries with people like Katzenberg. Now that's maturity and humility, good qualities of a leader. Let's just hope that this personal growth continues for Eisner.

Nice to see Jim Henson just living his life in retirement. Hopefully, he gets to become a trailblazer in Internet media since he's already doing good progress in home video.

 

[Migrant_Coconut]

I'm guessing Eisner's POD was taking all the sh*t from Ted and coming to a Heel Realization?

Regardless, it looks like Columbia's in good hands.

 

[Geekhis Khan]

Completely irritating to be around? Because when someone pulls out that meme, it's probably a result of someone or some company being clueless about their audience. No offense to you, of course.

NGL given that I was using the meme to relate how I felt like an out of touch old man trying to hang with the kids I truly love the irony that I got that meme wrong too, LOL.

She's FINALLY hit the big time! Jackpot!

Truly couldn't happen to a nicer person.

Slowly going through the reader mode and I notice it passed up, but just for fun, this would give a certain group a little more credence in New York in 1999/2000

CNN - Real fans might buy the Jets - September 28, 1999

Well, the Rams Fans set a new precedent for fan ownership and a model for how to do it, so yeah, totally could happen iTTL. I'd honestly like to see the Jets fan owned given the endless loyalty of Jets fans.

So @Geekhis Khan I recently decided to dig into these TLs, giving it a sort of an abridged-binge treatment, and I gotta say, I've loved it!

Also, while I'm here -- how are the grandchildren of Walt and Roy O. Disney (so the seven Miller kids, Sharon's three kids, and the four of Roy E Disney) doing compared to OTL? For that matter, how did they fare OTL, or do we even know? (Because from the googling I've done, it looks like there's been plenty of drama, and it seems they own more of their family's company TTL than OTL).

Welcome aboard and thanks. I'm not too familiar with how any of the Disneys you mentioned fared OTL other than growing up wealthy and privileged. The Disneys are famously quiet and reticent. I assume the same applies here. But yes, the Disneys have a larger stake than iOTL, in fact the combined Disneys via Calumet Holdings command the largest stake at over 28%.

Damn, it's really impressive that Eisner managed to let go of his many grudges and rivalries with people like Katzenberg. Now that's maturity and humility, good qualities of a leader. Let's just hope that this personal growth continues for Eisner.

Nice to see Jim Henson just living his life in retirement. Hopefully, he gets to become a trailblazer in Internet media since he's already doing good progress in home video.

I'm guessing Eisner's POD was taking all the sh*t from Ted and coming to a Heel Realization?

Regardless, it looks like Columbia's in good hands.

Eisner's still Eisner. He's still a vain and image-conscious person that likes to see his name in lights, and he'll be struggling to emerge from out of Turner's long shadow, a dragon he'll chase his whole life. But he's older and wiser now, somewhat humbled by life under Turner. Either way, Columbia is in good shape.



BTW all, for those who haven't seen it, I have a new reader input opportunity: define the 2010s, now on the Guest Thread.

Also, sadly, on travel next week. No connectivity, no posts Tuesday or Thursday. Will post again Saturday!!

 

[LordYam]

Hey take all the time you need. Travel comes first

 

[Otakuninja2006]

Well, that's great that Eisner has Columbia in good hands.

Hopefully Cartoon City continues to perform well and not fall to it's downfall.

 

[ajm8888]

Safe travels @Geekhis Khan .

 

[TheFaultsofAlts]

NGL given that I was using the meme to relate how I felt like an out of touch old man trying to hang with the kids I truly love the irony that I got that meme wrong too, LOL.

No, you were right about that angle. Sorry about that.

Truly couldn't happen to a nicer person.

I concur.

BTW all, for those who haven't seen it, I have a new reader input opportunity: define the 2010s, now on the Guest Thread.

Also, sadly, on travel next week. No connectivity, no posts Tuesday or Thursday. Will post again Saturday!!

Take good care on your travels!

 

[Arrowfan237]

RIP to one of the greatest Muppet Show hosts ever.

RIP
Harry Belafonte
(March 1, 1927 – April 24, 2023)

 

[Plateosaurus]

RIP to one of the greatest Muppet Show hosts ever.

RIP
Harry Belafonte
(March 1, 1927 – April 24, 2023)

Oh god, him?

Wwll, he lived a good life.

 

[LordYam]

Indeed. 96 years ain't bad.

 

[Geekhis Khan]

RIP to one of the greatest Muppet Show hosts ever.

RIP
Harry Belafonte
(March 1, 1927 – April 24, 2023)

Go back to the Mountain, Turn the World Around.

 

[Geekhis Khan]

A Canterbury League
Post from Animation, Stories, and Us Net-log, by Rodrick Zarrel, October 15th, 2012

A Guest Post by @Nerdman3000

A year into the new millennium, Universal Studios and Universal Animation would experience quite a shakeup when Universal Studios CEO Thomas Murphy confirmed that he intended to go through with his planned retirement once his contract expired at the end of the year. The announcement would go on to rock the company as it led to a short and surprisingly (considering one of the men involved) courteous proxy battle between Jeffrey Katzenberg and Bob Iger to succeed him as CEO.

Now while said company battle to succeed Murphy is certainly worth its own story, all you need to know in regards to the making of Canterbury Tales and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is that the proxy battle between the two men would extend to Universal Animation. The studios animators found themselves facing a bit of extra pressure from on high as Katzenberg hoped to showcase the success of Universal Animation under his watch as a way of demonstrating why he believed he was the right person to get the CEO job over the charismatic Iger. While the studio had certainly dealt with pressure from Katzenberg before, many of the studio’s animators have remarked in the years since that the pressure they were put under felt vastly different to that of the days of Heart and Soul or Spirit of the West.

As one animator would remark, “Unlike with Heart and Soul, we weren’t sure what would happen if we ended up releasing a dud. With that film, we knew Katzenberg would just shut us down due to his grudge against our studio. With Canterbury and League though, we were being thrown in the middle of Katzenberg and Iger’s d*ck measuring contest during our last year making those films and none of us knew what was going to happen if we failed, even despite how tame the conflict between both men was turning out when compared to what happened to Eisner. Hell, we weren't even sure what would happen if we succeeded, because if Iger won, who knew how he’d react. Everything was so unknown and that honestly scared us.”

The proxy battle between Jeffrey Katzenberg and Bob Iger as the two former allies sought the CEO position would dominate much of the behind the scenes for Canterbury Tales and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen over the course of 2001. Unlike with the previous BTS battle with Eisner from a few years beforehand, this proxy battle was notable for the fact that both men remained on relatively good-terms throughout and afterwards[1]. (Source: IMBD and TheRichest)

Another potential issue the studio was facing was the potential departure of Marjorie Cohn. Cohn, who had a bit of a rocky relationship with her boss Jeffrey Katzenberg, felt increasingly exhausted by having to handle her “prick” of a boss. Though she was well respected and even loved by the animators working under her, she felt increasingly strained by having to constantly put up with Katzenberg’s BS. She would later be quoted as saying, “Working with Jeff [Katzenberg] certainly made me understand what Dawn Steel must have felt like working for Ted Turner.”

Cohn’s potential departure would stem from her being offered a job by Warner Bros to potentially head their Nickelodeon Network which they were overhauling in the aftermath of the company's recent stock crash [2]. Cohn reportedly strongly considered the offer for a number of weeks, with perhaps the only reason she didn’t outright accept it being that if Katzenberg won the proxy battle with Iger, she herself would be poised to replace him as the head of the Universal Film Group.

In the end, Cohn decided to remain at Universal, leading to the WBK position to go to Jim Samples, who would lead WBK through its golden age. Yet despite turning down the position, the near departure still created a short bit of chaos in the production of Canterbury Tales and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen as some leading figures working on the film weren’t sure how to approach or report anything to Cohn since none of them knew if she was going to be around for long. This was especially problematic in the latter film, which was originally slated to release in 2002 but was then forced into serious crunch when it was pushed forward in 2001 by Katzenberg, who sought to use the film in his proxy war with Iger. That the film ultimately managed to get through that chaos intact is perhaps a testament to the leadership of Cohn’s right hand and future successor Mellody Hobson, who by all reports eventually stepped up to the plate during this brief chaotic moment to handle any issues Cohn had left hanging.

What’s certain is that of the two upcoming films, the one which really didn’t need this added bit of chaos and pressure was Canterbury Tales, which in fact was already experiencing a bit of a tough production all on its own. Being the last of the films greenlit in the immediate aftermath of the juggernaut release of Heart and Soul, the film was always considered to be the odd one out of the bunch. Greenlit solely due to a loose historical connection with the character of Chanticleer, whom Columbia’s Ruler of the Roost would be based on, it was a film which ultimately few at the animation studio truly seemed passionate about and only seemed to exist in order to dual Ruler of the Roost.

+

Story-wise it will ultimately have a lot of similarities with our timeline’s A Knights Tale[3], but aesthetically it will be similar to Disney’s Robin Hood in that the stories characters are all anthropomorphic animals in a Medieval setting wearing human medieval clothes. (Source: Wikipedia)

Not only did the film find itself championed by no one except Jeffrey Katzenberg, who solely wanted it made so that it could compete with Bluth’s Ruler of the Roost, but it also found itself essentially restarting production in late 1997 when news broke that Don Bluth had decided to switch the release schedule of Ruler of the Roost (which was originally supposed to release in 1999) with The Velveteen Rabbit. This lead to the cancellation an early, darker version of the film that was supposed to be directed by Conrad Vernon and would have more closely follow the 1944 Canterbury Tales film[4].

When the film did finally return to production, it was certainly with little enthusiasm behind it. Despite this, the film would still find a pair of suitable directors in an initially reluctant David Bowers and Vicky Jenson, who both decided to go for a looser and lighter adaptation of the Canterbury Tales, mixing elements of three tales from the first fragment, the Knights Tale, the Reave’s Tale, and the Cook’s Tale, to craft an original story which borrowed from all three.

Featuring anthropomorphic characters due to orders by Katzenberg, the film would tell the story of a cat named Oswald (played by Ewan McGregor), a rather successful reave who finds he is rather bored of his life serving his Master’s estate despite his success. One day, when visiting the local tavern, he meets with an old friend named Perkins (played by Jeffrey Pierce), a rabbit cook who also finds himself rather bored with his current duties in life. Reminiscing about their boyhood dreams to become knights, the two decide to solve their current midlife crisis by essentially making their boyhood dreams come true, impersonating a pair of knights and traveling to Canterbury to attend a grand tournament that is being hosted by the King (played by Patrick Stewart). Complicating matters, the tournament will also be attended by Oswald’s master, a bear knight named Ser Leon (Dennis Hoffman) who is also secretly plotting to depose the king and usurp his throne.

Problems naturally arise when not only does Ser Leon begin to suspect them for being false knights, but when the two men begin to find their friendship tested when they both start competing for the affections of the same woman, Princess Emelye (voiced by Jennifer Love Hewit), despite the fact that she herself is rather obnoxious and cruel and is willingly pitting both men against each other for her own amusement.

Jennifer Love Hewitt, who would voice the Lion princess Emelye, whom Oswald and Perkins end up competing for. (Source: Getty Images)

By the end of the film, both characters are able to repair their friendship, expose Ser Leon, and catch onto Emelye’s spoiled and cruel nature while also realizing that their childhood dreams were probably best left in childhood, as for all their enthusiasm and bravery, neither man finds the dangerous excitement of playing knights nearly as fun. Ending with both men accepting to work as a reave and cook for the king, the film leaves audiences with the message that sometimes one might find that our big childhood dreams don’t always live up to the fantasy we create in our heads.

Upon release the film received mixed to positive reviews, with most critics praising the films characters, humor[5], and music by Elton John but feeling that the story felt slightly unoriginal, with some critics also (perhaps unfairly) comparing the film to Disney’s classic animated Robin Hood due to the similar anthropomorphic medieval aesthetic shared by both films. Both Bowers and Jenson have since confirmed that the similarity was partially intentional, as they sought to pay a bit of homage to the Disney animated film. In terms of box office, however, the film would struggle, making only $179 million, mostly due to competition from the much better received Ruler of the Roost and the Disney’s Scare Force One. It’s perhaps only thanks to the film’s relatively small budget of $80 million that the film ultimately was not considered a complete failure.

In terms of the Katzenberg and Iger proxy war, however, it’s undeniable that Canterbury Tales’ box office disappointment was regarded as an embarrassing slap in the face for Katzenberg, who hoped the film would be successful and allow him to present an example to show the board, who were increasingly in favor of the more charismatic Iger, of why he should be Murphy’s successor. If not for the fact that he was busy with said proxy war he might have punished the animation studio for the perceived embarrassment, but thankfully for the studio, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which released in the Spring of 2002, pushed from its originally-planned Holiday release in order to avoid a likely trouncing from the triple-threat of Lord of the Rings 1, Harry Fletcher 1, and Star Wars 3, would more than make up for Canterbury Tales’ disappointing results at the box office.

Considered the third in what is regarded as Universal Animation’s unofficial pulp fiction adventure trilogy, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen would go on to make an impressive $302 million worldwide at the box office upon its release to critically positive reviews. Based on a graphic novel series by writer Alan Moore that is set in an alternate history version of the Victorian Age where all classic literature characters exist and live in the same world, it features a group of those very characters coming together in what almost seems like a gothic literature/pulp fiction superhero team.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen by Alan Moore, which would be adapted as an animated film, rather than a live action film. (source: Wikipedia)

Directed by Spirit of the West’s second pair of directors, Bibo Bergeron and Tim Johnson, the film stars Ian McKellen as famous African hunter Alan Quartermain, Kate Winslet as the vampire Mina Harker, Naseeruddin Shah as Captain Nemo, Batman star Willem Dafoe as Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, David Hemmings as the Invisible Man, John Glover as Adam/Frankenstein’s Monster, and Jason Flemyng as the group's recruiter and link to British Intelligence, Champion Bond.[6] Following events inspired from both the first and second volume of Moore’s comic, the plot follows the group of heroes as they come together after being recruited by Champion Bond and Her Majesty’s government on a mission to help put an end to the invading Martians from H.G. Wells classic novel War of the Worlds while also seeking to uncover and take down the Martian's secret human allies who are attempting to aid the aliens in their conquest[7].

While it certainly diverges a lot from the original spirit and tone of the original graphic novels (something which has led it to be often despised by hard core fans of the comic, even ignoring the mess with Moore which I'll get into in a bit), that doesn’t mean it ends up being a bad telling of the story. In fact, in many ways one of the strongest advantages of the film is that it tries to and succeeds in doing its own thing, leaning into and in fact fully embracing the almost superhero-y feeling of the original work. In some ways it even feels like watching an animated version of the Avengers or Justice League on film, but with classic literature heroes in the place of the more modern comic book heroes. Yet while that doesn’t exactly make it a great or even good adaptation of the source material, I’m certainly not the only person who nonetheless still really likes the film for what it is and thinks the film still manages to stand on its own merits as its own work, even if it's ultimately based on Moore's work largely in name only. So while that might not necessarily please diehard fans of Moore’s original comic, I don’t think it’s lack of complete faithfulness prevents this film from being rather good.

Helping to elevate the film is both its fantastic Danny Elfman score and the rather strong writing delivered by screenwriters Ethan Reiff, Cyrus Voris, and William Davies, who manage to perfectly balance the large cast of characters while still delivering a well written story and witty dialogue. It’s perhaps unsurprising that this same trio would be the ones who went on to write one of my favorite animated films of all time, 2007’s The Princess and the Dragon[8].

Now all that being said, I’d be kind of remiss if I didn’t talk about the big elephant in the room surrounding the film’s creation, that of course being how Jeffrey Katzenberg infamously screwed over Alan Moore when he got this film made.

See, back in the late 90’s, a little film called Watchmen was coming out, based on a graphic novel also written by Moore. As production on the film was ongoing, Moore was reportedly growing increasingly pessimistic and slightly antagonistic toward the movie while it was being made, even despite working as a consultant on it. During this time, he was also in the process of writing The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen graphic novel, and as sometimes happens, there was a huge bidding war for the film rights to the comic, with Universal, 20th Century Fox, Warner Bros, and Columbia Pictures all competing for the rights.

Ultimately however, the reason Moore chose to sell it to Universal was due to what one can consider to be the oddest of reasons to imagine: the fact that they explicitly promised Moore to not use the acquired rights or make an adaptation of the film. While strange on the surface, you have to understand that Universal’s reasons for this is that, unlike the other studios, they were actually trying to buy the rights in order to prevent a different studio from making a movie that featured classic gothic horror monsters like Frankenstein’s monster, the Invisible Man, and Dracula coming together, as at the time Universal had been planning on making a new potential adaptation of House of Frankenstein (cue me shuddering and Flashbacks), which would feature their classic monsters crossing over in one film.

Alan Moore, the famed comic book author behind The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which Universal Animation would adapt into a 2001 animated film after essentially screwing him over. (Source: Wikipedia)

With Universal having thus secured the rights, it seemed guaranteed no League of Extraordinary Gentlemen movie would happen, right? What changed then? Well, The Creature of the Black Lagoon movie and Jeffrey Katzenberg happened.

In the case of the former, the disappointing box office of 1997’s The Invisible Man film and the outright box office flop that was 1998’s Creature of the Black Lagoon would effectively lead to the end of Universal’s 90’s Monster Renaissance, with Universal ultimately deciding to abandon their original plans for a remake of House of Frankenstein (if only it stayed that way…).

Into this newfound void came Jeffrey Katzenberg, the very man who had originally promised Moore that the studio wouldn’t produce a film based on The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen comic once they bought the film rights. To Katzenberg, it would seem figured that since there was no longer any reason not to use the film rights that the studio had just bought for a few million dollars, that they might as well go through with adapting the comic into a film after all. Not really having much regard for the comic otherwise and not wanting to waste a huge expense on making a live action version of the film, he thus decided to give it to Universal Animation, reportedly by showing up to Cohn’s office, tossing the paperback of the comic at her, and demanding she make a movie out of it.

Stay classy Katzenberg.

Naturally Moore didn’t exactly take the betrayal lying down and tried to sue, but with Universal and Moore never having signed any kind of explicit agreement and the promise made to Moore having only been a vocal one, it overall meant that Moore didn’t have much of a case going for him, thus leading to him and Universal eventually settling out of court in 2003. Despite that, Moore would never forgive Katzenberg and Universal, refusing to both contribute as a consultant in its making and watch it following its release.

Despite the fact that the film turned out to be quite good, Moore’s reaction here is definitely understandable all things considered. While it certainly did lead to a few Moore fans outright boycotting the film in support of Moore, that did little to put a dent in its box office as was mentioned. In fact, it’s arguable the controversy led to a bit of a Walt’s Head effect, as it ended up doing more to spark interest and awareness towards the movie than anything, likely helping to drive sales of the film. Moore’s cause certainly wasn’t helped by some of his more vocal and hardline supporters who felt Moore had been wronged getting real nasty on the Internet by harassing people who showed interest in the film or talked about it, something I know from firsthand experience. I can tell you that their actions only alienated people who might otherwise have been sympathetic to Moore’s cause.

Zorro, Tom Sawyer, and the Lone Ranger would be just some of the classic American characters who would show up in the second League of Extraordinary Gentlemen film. In the case of Lone Ranger, it led to Universal having to negotiate with Disney to use the character[9]. (Source: Wikipedia and TV Tropes)

Regardless of that whole mess, the film’s massive success almost certainly made Jeffrey Katzenberg very happy, as the film went on to spark a whole League of Extraordinary Gentlemen franchise which included a follow-up animated series that aired from 2002-2005, a themed land at Universal Studios Orlando, and two highly successful animated sequels (the first time Universal would produce animated sequel films in fact), 2004’s League of Extraordinary Gentlemen 2, which featured the League journeying to America and encountering Zorro, an older Tom Sawyer, and the Lone Ranger in a more original story that wasn’t based on any specific issue or volume by Moore, and 2007’s League of Extraordinary Gentlemen 3, which saw the league once again go up against Professor James Moriarty, though unlike the original comic, here Moriarty is leading a sort of a classic literature version of the Legion of Doom known only as The Society[10].

Sadly, one rather bad (in hindsight) result of the success of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen would be that it would also result in Universal reconsidering its scrapped plans to make a House of Frankenstein movie, which is a damn shame because the 2005 film in question ended up being a complete steaming pile of total garbage.[11]

---

[1] While this will be explored in depth in a future post, the short gist here is that Katzenberg and Iger, a bit smartened after their previous scuffle with Eisner during the latter's fall, decide to agree to try and hold no grudges over who wins with Murphy. You'll see how that ultimately turns out in the future.

[2] The English Dub for Capsumon never premieres on WB Kids due to butterflies, leading to the network to continue to struggle against competition without that breakthrough hit. Eventually they chose to relaunch the network and rework it, hoping to aim at teen audiences a bit more.

[3] For those unaware, the film was also a loose adaptation of the Canterbury Tales, taking inspiration from the Knight's Tale from Fragment I of the collection.

[4] The decision likely also contributed to Universal Animation’s decision to not release a film to compete with The Velveteen Rabbit. The earlier version of Canterbury Tales would have followed anthropomorphic characters in a slightly darker film that would have seen them traveling to Canterbury in an England at war, though unlike the 1944 film, said war in this film would have been WW1 rather than WW2.

[5] Which like Shrek in our timeline would have a bit of adult humor scattered throughout and it would also poke fun at some of the animated princess tropes, though not nearly to the same extent as Shrek did in our timeline since Universal Animation has their own foot in the animated princess game and therefore doesn’t want to completely burn the trope down.

[6] Like in our timeline’s movie, there would be a change added to Mina’s character that was not in Moore’s original work, which had Mina not retaining her vampiric abilities at the end of Dracula. In this version though, Mina’s vampire powers will be closer to what Vampires had in the original Dracula novel rather than the more traditional movie vampire power set, meaning for example she can turn into mist, crawl on walls, and walk in daylight (though when doing so she is as mortal and powerless as any regular human).

As for Dafoe’s portrayal in the film, just picture Dafoe’s Norman Osborn/Green Goblin but with a Southern Wales accent for Jekyll and a Cockney accent for Hyde. Less of a big giant monster from our timeline’s novel and film, Mr. Hyde here is more of a normal gruff looking dude, but one who’s also a very tricky and cunning A-hole whose wits, ruthlessness and out of the box thinking are what makes him an effective member of the team, rather than any superhuman strength. Essential he’s a chaotic force in a way that’s reminiscent of Marvel’s Loki or Heath Ledger’s Joker, in that no one knows what he will do next. Hyde naturally will also serve the traitorous role Griffin had in our timeline’s graphic novel and Dorian Grey had in our timeline’s movie, with him even going as far as to seemingly try and forever silence his good half, Dr. Jekyll, when the good doctor tries to warn the team of Hyde’s deceit and him having seemingly allied with the Martians. Where it differs from Griffin and Grey’s role in our timeline’s comic and movie is that here Hyde is actually a double agent, as what Jekyll didn’t know was that Hyde’s actually faking his aid to the Martian’s in order to try and take them down from within.

Like in our timeline’s film, rather than the original Invisible Man, Hawley Griffin, the Invisible Man here is instead a thief who stole the formula. Here however, said thief is a man named Rodrick Benning, a thief with a heart of gold whose drinking of the formula has led to tragedy as it has effectively stolen his ability to be seen by his family whom he previously stole to provide for. Notably Benning’s version of the thief will also be the one who appears in this timeline’s graphic novel, rather than Griffin, so this change is not due to a copyright issue.
Unlike in our timeline, Frankenstein’s monster (who is called Adam) is a member of the group and serves as the group's strong muscle. Being almost a hundred years old and essentially immortal, he has become sort of a reclusive religious fanatic who’s turned to God since his creator, Victor, died all those years ago in the Arctic. In a way he’s kind of like the Frankenstein monster from our timeline’s Van Helsing movie. Notably it’s implied that this version might also be closer in terms of backstory to the one from this timeline’s 1994 Universal Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein film, as Adam mentions that Victor’s wife Elizabeth was resurrected by her husband following her murder to briefly become Bride Elizabeth (which results in her suicidally burning herself to death out of despair at what Victor did to her), similar to what happens in both timeline’s 1994 Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein film, yet is something which does not occur in the original novel.

[7] As you might guess, this secret human ally of the Martians turns out to be Professor Moriarty, who seeks to seemingly aid the Martian in their conquest before then betraying them and killing them off with a secret Martian plague he has invented, so that he can then use the heroic credit of having ended the invasion (while framing the League for being the ones to aid the Martians) to advance his future goals. In the end he's exposed for his betrayal of humanity by the League, though not before his plague is still used to end the threat of the Martian menace.

[8] Which is a Universal Animation film in this timeline about a princess who is kidnapped by a dragon, but then subverts the trope by having her befriend said dragon who was just lonely, in a subversion of the knight having to rescue a princess from a dragon story that’s kind of reminiscent of King Kong.

[9] Notably the successful negotiation between Disney and Universal here can most certainly be directly attributed to Disney's Skeleton Crew, whose love for Steam Romance and Universal’s so called ‘Pulp Adventure Trilogy’ would lead them to actually help negotiate the licensing deal and would even see SCP join the production of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen’s two sequels as members of the films design team in a rare instance of studio bipartisanship.

[10] Sawyer, like in our timeline’s film somehow still manages to still find himself working for the US government funnily enough. The Society is made up of Professor Moriarty himself, the immortal Dorian Grey, Springheeled Jack, Captain Hook, Dr. Moreau, and Mina’s old friend Lucy Westenra (who has been resurrected by Moriarty and still remains a vampire).

[11] The film sort of ends up being this timeline’s equivalent to 2004’s Van Helsing from our timeline, but without the ‘So Bad, It’s Good’ cheesy charm of our timeline’s film. This version instead is just plain awful with no redeeming qualities.

 

[Nathanoraptor]

Okay... Mr. Zarrell really has it in for Jeffrey Katzenberg - he's seemingly managing to find a way to put a negative motive in everything he does. If Katz simply breathed, this guy'd probably find some way to place negative subtext into it. And, besides, these both sound great.

Naturally Moore didn’t exactly take the betrayal lying down and tried to sue, but with Universal and Moore never having signed any kind of explicit agreement and the promise made to Moore having only been a vocal one, it overall meant that Moore didn’t have much of a case going for him, thus leading to him and Universal eventually settling out of court in 2003. Despite that, Moore would never forgive Katzenberg and Universal, refusing to both contribute as a consultant in its making and watch it following its release.

The other reason, I would argue, is that Moore is trying to exert his creative rights over a work... with a cast consisting almost entirely of characters who exist in the public domain. Moore does not own these characters - so there is nothing stopping Universal from using them.

 

[TheFaultsofAlts]

If we're gonna have Universal negotiate with Disney to add The Lone Ranger in the sequel, while also incorporating Zorro in said sequel, why not go further and have the Disney TV version of Zorro be involved?

 

[Denliner]

Very interesting set of films. It sucks that The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen had to made under such acrimonious circumstances but I guess that's expected out of Katzenberg.

 

[Geekhis Khan]

Opening of Disney’s Damsel (2002) [1]

Ext – Kingdom of Ellarah – Murq Highlands – Day
We open on a savage landscape, the desolate Murq Highlands in the far north of the fantasy Kingdom of Ellarah. It is a vicious land full of dagger-like conifers and jagged rocks that spring like teeth from the dry, rocky ground. All is silent, save for the slowly blowing wind that lazily tosses around dust and pine needles in a small dust devil.

Suddenly, WHOOSH! A black form flashes by the screen, as does a feminine face, her scream a brief yelp as she flashes by.

Exciting classical music plays, full of brass and strings, cut by the occasional wail of a shredding electric guitar riff. We CUT variously to parts of the BEAST as it runs: its jet-black fur, its catlike paws, its vicious teeth, it’s spikey tail.

We CUT to parts of the screaming damsel it carries: the flash of her scarlet-and-black gown, the bouncing curls of her raven hair, her reaching arms in long, black lace gloves. Her ruby lips as she shrieks “Help Me!!”

(Image source Shrek Wiki)

We now CUT to the thundering white hooves of a stallion as glorious brass blasts a fanfare. We jump up to the shield of the horse’s rider and his knightly crest: a stylized image of a gallant knight slaying a dragon with a long spear before a forlorn damsel on her knees. We jump up to the KNIGHT’S head, mostly hidden behind his steel helm, a blue plume billowing from atop it. But we can see the determination in his piercing blue eyes through the eye slit.

We CUT back to the BEAST, dynamically panning around it as it runs across the land, the KNIGHT in hot pursuit. We can now see in full the BEAST’S nightmarish visage: black fur, four lion-like legs that bound across the land, a head half-tiger, half-dragon covered with vicious horns and spikes. Eerie goatlike eyes. A long, spiked tail.

Two more limbs like long, sinuous arms sprout from the shoulders above its forelegs, each ending in a grasping talon with long, skeletal fingers. One of them grasps the Princess REBEKAH (Jude Barsi) around her thin waist, swinging her wildly as it runs from its pursuer. We see her in full now as well: scarlet dress with black and purple accents, long black lace gloves that cover the arms to near the shoulder. Long, curly black hair bouncing and flowing in the air. Thin aquiline nose. Large brown eyes currently wide with fright.

Rebekah
Please, somebody help me!! OOF!!​

She is jostled as the BEAST bounds over some rocks and scowls slightly in annoyance.

The KNIGHT is getting closer! The BEAST jinks and jumps, using its free arm to grab a large tree trunk to pull itself into a sharp right turn that causes the KNIGHT to overshoot. REBEKAH is swung wildly around, her face passing close to the camera, screaming in terror.

But the gallant KNIGHT (Richard White) redirects his steed in a dirt-throwing, hoof-scampering skid and is soon charging again, bearing down on the BEAST, lance tilted towards it

Rebekah
(reaching out to the KNIGHT) Save me!!!

Knight
Fear not, fair maiden, for I am here!​

The BEAST looks back over its shoulder, snorts, and rips up a small tree with its free hand, tossing the tree at the KNIGHT. In SLOW MOTION with an exciting fanfare, we watch the KNIGHT spur his winnowing stallion to leap over the flying tree, landing on the ground still at full gallop, still gaining on the BEAST.

The BEAST hisses and jags left towards a rocky outcropping. We PAN over it as it bounds up the rocks, throwing REBEKAH high into the air with its talon until her screaming mouth covers the entire screen for an instant before plummeting, shrieking, head-over-heels, back down into its grasping talons, now atop the rocky outcrop. The BEAST looks smugly down at the KNIGHT below.

The KNIGHT, stallion still galloping towards the outcropping, tosses aside his lance and shield and jumps to his feet atop the galloping stallion. Then we ZOOM in on him as he leaps, then PAN around as he flies up and grasps the edge of the outcropping and then pulls himself up on top. Drawing a sword and a flanged mace, he advances towards the snarling BEAST, who looks far less smug now.

The BEAST tosses aside REBEKAH, who lands on her backside with a grunt and then pushes herself back against a rock with scrambling feet, shrinking behind her arms, terror in her brown eyes, squeaks of fear emitting from her.

The KNIGHT and the BEAST square off……then rush at each other! The BEAST roars its terrible roars and gnashes with its terrible teeth and rolls its terrible eyes and slashes with its terrible claws and swings its terrible spiked tail, knocking over a small tree. The KNIGHT dives and ducks and rolls, deftly avoiding all of these attacks. Finally, with a mighty swing, the KNIGHT hits the BEAST in the jaw with the mace! The BEAST roars and rears upon its hind legs in pain, then looks hatefully down, ready to stomp the KNIGHT flat!

The KNIGHT then THRUSTS his sword, driving it deep into the BEAST’S black chest! The BEAST ROARS and stumbles back, the sword still in its chest, one of its talons grasping its chest near the sword. It sways and it stumbles, roaring in pain, thrashing and gnashing and finally falling back on its back, where it kicks and moans, and finally shudders, the light fading from its goatlike eyes, mouth slightly open in death.

The KNIGHT lifts his visor to reveal a square, chiseled jaw smiling smugly.

Knight
Thus always to evil, foul beast!​

REBEKAH rises and walks to the KNIGHT, hands curled together demurely in front of her, eyes bright and wide in love.

Rebekah
Sir Knight, you have saved me from the foul bea…​

She is interrupted as the BEAST roars and thrashes some more, rolls, groans melodramatically. REBEKAH rolls her eyes slightly as the KNIGHT turns to look at the BEAST.

Knight
Um, should I try to deliver some sort of coup de gras or someth…?

Rebekah
(interrupting, annoyed) No, no, I’m sure it will die (speaks towards BEAST) any second now.​

Finally, after uncomfortably long death throes, REBEKAH crossing her arms and scowling impatiently, smiling brightly whenever the KNIGHT turns to look at her, the BEAST kicks one…two…three times, its head falls to the side, its eyes close, and a ridiculously long tongue unrolls, painfully slowly, out of his toothy maw, finally, it seems, dead.

Rebekah
(scowl turns to smile; turns to KNIGHT) As I was saying, Sir Knight, you have rescued me from…OH!​

The KNIGHT grasps her waste and swings her around, dipping her like a dance partner. Her right arm, palm up, swings out behind her towards the dead BEAST. The KNIGHT leans in seductively.

Rebekah (Cont’d)
Why, you certainly are…forward!​

The KNIGHT smiles smarmily.

Knight
I know what I want, Lady……?

Rebekah
Rebekah. Princess Rebekah of Ellarah…

Knight
(greed is now added to lust in his eyes) Oh, Your Highness! And now, Your Highness, (leans in) you wouldn’t dare deny your rescuer a kiss, would you?

Rebekah
Why, I’m so dusty from the chase and I hardly…​

We ZOOM in on REBEKAH’S right hand, palm open, gesturing frantically towards the seemingly dead BEAST, which opens an eye, startles alert with an “oh!” expression, and grabs the knight’s dropped mace, placing the handle in REBEKAH’S waiting hand.

Knight
Why, so am I, both dirty, both…excited…​

The KNIGHT leans in, making “smoochy” sounds. REBEKAH swings the mace. CLANG! She smacks him in the helmet. He drops her and stands up. His eyes cross and a confused look crosses his face. He swoons and spins.

Knight
(slurred, holding up two fingers) I’ll have two meads as well, garçon!​

The KNIGHT collapses with a sound like a shelf of pots falling. REBEKAH sighs, tosses aside the mace, and glowers at the BEAST, which now transforms into a small, ink-black, shadow-like imp (PHOBUS; Steve Buscemi). The sword still protrudes from his chest.

Phobus
Yeah, um, sorry I was a bit slow on…

Rebekah
(interrupts) What was that?

Phobus
(tugging at sword, which seems stuck) Well, my eyes were closed and…

Rebekah
(interrupts, hands on hips) I mean the death. Do you think that you could have overacted it anymore? You nearly gave away the…

Phobus
Hey! Gunther my acting coach says I have…

Rebekah
Wait… “acting coach?!?”

Phobus
(still tugging at sword) Yes, I’ve been taking lessons using a human form, if you must know, since, you know, my last performance (makes air quotes) “lacked finesse” and all…

Rebekah
(throws up her hands) Unbelievable! Look. (grasps the sword and starts pulling) Next time just roar a bit and fall over, OK? We’re not auditioning for the (tugs on the sword) Royal Players here. (puts a foot on PHOBUS’S chest and pulls at the sword with all her strength) And could you…ugh…could you be any…any rougher with the throws…great blazes, this thing is in there!

Phobus
I gotta’ hand it to him, that was quite a thrust…​

With a grunt REBEKAH finally jerks the blade from PHOBUS’S chest with a slorching sound. REBEKAH stumbles back and nearly falls. She looks at the sword in her hand, then at PHOBUS.

Rebekah
Wow. Doesn’t that hurt?

Phobus
I’m a formless being of pure shadow. I feel no pain and I can’t die. Admittedly, having a sword in my chest was quite awkward.​

REBEKAH pulls out a jeweler’s glass and inspects the sword.

Phobus (Cont’d)
Galaptian steel, I hope?

Rebekah
Nope. Just local made. Worth twenty, max. (Tosses sword aside) You get Sir Handsy out of his armor and I’ll find his steed. Both should fetch a good price.​

PAN to and focus on the prone, unconscious KNIGHT and MATCH CUT to him now in his underwear, which features little red images of swords and shields. He babbles to himself and snores. Pan back to where PHOBUS is tying the last of the armor onto the horse while REBEKAH rifles through the saddlebags, tossing aside clothing and toiletries and (with a revolted look on her face) some extra-smelly cologne, before finally removing a pouch. ZOOM on the pouch, which she opens, revealing numerous gold and silver coins.

Rebekah
Jackpot. Must be over fifty in here! Add in the horse and armor and weapons and we’ll clear two-hundred, easy.

Phobus
Not a bad haul, Reb. How do you want to celebrate?

Rebekah
(smiles) Let’s hit the Poisoned Apple!

Phobus
Aw, not again! Couldn’t we just catch a show this time? I’m tired of getting stabbed “defending your honor.”

Rebekah
(smiles wickedly) Not on your eternal life, Phobus.​

The opening chords of Bikini Kill’s “Rebel Girl” cut the air. PHOBUS changes form into that of a large black horse while REBEKAH strips off her long lace gloves revealing highly tattooed arms, peels off her poofy outer skirt revealing something shorter, tighter, and black leather with a slit up the side, hops on the Knight’s stallion, and puts on some sunglasses as the punk chords throb. She spurs the stallion and she and HORSE-PHOBUS gallop off into the distance as the “Rebel Girl” lyrics start.

ROLL OPENING CREDITS.

Image by @Migrant_Coconut

- - -​

Hail to the Queen: Looking back at Chairwoman Lisa Henson and Disney’s “Millennium Age”
The Wall Street Journal, December 5th, 2018

It has now been a year since Lisa Henson retired as Disney’s Chairwoman, handing the gavel over to Disney grandson Walt Disney Miller. It marked not just a change in leadership, but the symbolic end of the Henson Dynasty and return of the Disney family to the head of their family company, at least for the time being. Ms. Henson took over from her father in 2001 and presided over what Disney calls the Millennium Age, but which many are already calling Disney’s New Silver Age, a time where the rapid expansion and boardroom drama that marked the Renaissance Age under her father settled into a steady period of gradual growth, debt consolidation and elimination, and relative stability. No big strategic acquisitions or mergers were made. No major new parks save Disneyland Beijing were greenlit. No sports teams were acquired or stadiums built.

Some have considered this a step down for the company after the huge growth under Frank Wells and her father, calling Ms. Henson “dull”, “bossy”, “bureaucratic”, and “uninspiring”. Columbia Entertainment CEO Michael Eisner said that she “lacks the creative vision and bold spirit of her father.” Forbes said “the acorn fell a long way from the tree in the case of Mrs. Henson, who has yet to build a lasting legacy for herself.” Some businessmen who’d tried and failed to form strategic partnerships or mergers left frustrated. One witness reported that a real estate mogul, who’d been pressuring her to cut a hotel and casino deal with him, had stormed out of their meeting, calling her a “nasty woman”.

But subtle and non-so-subtle sexism aside, does Ms. Henson deserve the negative description? Was she really a step down from her iconic father? Does she really lack vision?

Few would call Ms. Henson’s leadership bombastic or headline-grabbing. She’s never courted the spotlight. When she appeared in interviews or guest appearances on The Wonderful World of Disney she presented herself as a stately, controlled, dignified leader. Mocked by some, including one of our former editors, as “Disney’s Princess” when she first took up the gavel, she very quickly grew to be seen as “Disney’s Queen”, a professional, business-minded presence that calmed investors and stabilized markets. While her father was always the starry-eyed dreamer, she was the grounded businesswoman with the firm jaw and the commanding stare. Businessmen who underestimated her did so to their own peril.

“Lisa takes no…let’s say ‘guff’,” said new VP of Feature Animation Brenda Chapman. “She’s focused, serious, and can smell BS a mile away. I can’t count the number of times some investor or business partner – inevitably male – tried to talk down to her or mansplain. She’d sit there, smile, and then simply tell him in no uncertain what was going to happen and how things were going to be. They never took her lightly twice.”

Ms. Henson’s Millennium Age marked a noteworthy shift from her father’s reign. As stated earlier, there were no more big expansions in the parks beyond WestCOT and Imaginarium (which her father launched), Disneyland Beijing (which any competent leader would have greenlit), upgrades and added Gates at existing parks, and a handful of new Disneytowns. There were no big acquisitions or mergers, and Disney even spun off Imagine, Inc., and Skeleton Crew Productions. There were no more sports team buys or stadium builds (she actually sold off some of the shares in Commodore Stadium). Instead, much of her focus was on consolidating and eliminating the large debts incurred under her father and Frank Wells following their aggressive expansion and the defensive measures taken during the 1998 proxy fight. Earnings were put into updating, expanding, and maintaining the existing parks rather than building new ones. Operations were further streamlined and financial systems strengthened. Studios were expanded and modernized and existing IP mined rather than acquiring new IP through acquisitions or mergers. Partnerships with smaller studios such as Amblin, Lucasfilm, Henson Arts, Whoopass, and Aardman became the strategy rather than buyouts and mergers. The number of television channels remained steady or even shrunk as underperformers were eliminated or rebranded. And most tellingly, the all-in focus on NBC as the television flagship began to wane and more focus moved over to Direct Viewing “networks” like Disney Direct and Peacock, beating the competition to the punch in taking advantage of this new medium.

And if none of this grabs the headlines the way a major merger or bold expansion would, Ms. Henson seems not to care.

“Lisa couldn’t care less about her ‘legacy’,” said Chairman Emeritus Frank Wells. “She has nothing to prove to Wall Street. She told me ‘My legacy will be returning this company to the black.’ Well, she did. Mission accomplished.”

With the company safely in the hands of her family and the Disneys, Ms. Henson was far less concerned with proxy fights than her predecessors and no doubt under far less pressure to deliver huge quarterly returns and dividends. Instead, she and the executive team focused on long term solvency and sustainable growth rather than “big moves” or “quick wins”. Both sides of the Disney family saw the advantage in her methodical leadership.

“The Lisa Years will be best known for their stability and solidity,” said Warren Buffett, an investor in Disney who dramatically increased his stake after her ascension to the Chair. “The steep climb and wild volatility under Wells and her father settled into a slow but steady growth under her. Rather than building new high towers, she shored up the castle’s foundations and buttressed its walls. Jim’s years would make for a more interesting movie, but Lisa’s made for a more reliable investment.”

“Walt was Fire,” said recently retired CCO Joe Ranft, putting things more poetically, “Ron [Miller] was Water, Jim was Air, and Lisa is Stone.”

(Image souce IMDB)

Where her father, like Walt, was heavily involved in the creative process, Ms. Henson, like Frank Wells and Ron Miller before her, largely delegated that to others, Ranft chief among them. “She stays involved,” said Ranft in a 2009 interview, “But rarely directs how things should go, trusting in the talent and being very clear about her reasoning when she requests changes.” She executive-produced the underperforming Shadow Mask and pushed heavily into expanding and diversifying their customer base, but otherwise relied on the extensive creative infrastructure that her father left behind, adding in some “fresh blood” that she brought with her from Fox. She left the technology aspects in the hands of her younger brother Brian and Imagine, Inc., CEO Leo Tramiel. She relied heavily on new Muppets head Kevin Clash[2] to manage her family’s most famous creation and “hasn’t put her hand in a Muppet in years.”

Creatively, Disney didn’t disappoint under Ms. Henson’s benign, hands-off approach. Disney, despite the growing competition from rival studios in areas such as animation and theme parks, managed to hold its own and usually came out on top. Animated films like Damsel, Unbound, Loggerheads, Boots, Mana, The Afterlife of Toys, and Fishing for Marla won awards and made bank. Live action features like the Red Sails and Black Smoke series, the Transformers films, Break the Bank, Fat Lady, The Muppets Return, Sirens, and the Marvel films did likewise. Disney parks continue to be the Gold Standard, with Imaginarium sweeping any and all awards, and under Ms. Henson’s firm hand have been constructed and upgraded without taking on further debt, despite growing maintenance and operating costs and a transient drop in attendance due to the Millennium Recession.

And given these realities, many believe that a more aggressive Chairman would have been bad, even disastrous for Walt Disney Entertainment.

“Disney was spared a potential calamity had some narcissistic would-be-Walt or -Jim taken the Chair instead of Lisa,” said Buffett. “Jim, with the help of Peltz and Ackman, had helped stabilize things a bit at the end, but Frank [Wells] and Jim, for all of their huge, headline-grabbing builds and buys, had left Lisa a ticking time bomb of aging infrastructure needing maintenance and upgrades, particularly all the parks, studios, and lots. The hypothetical would-be celebrity Chairman might have tried to one-up Jim Henson with more big buys and large parks, and might have sent Disney into an unsustainable debt spiral. Lisa, who felt no need to be in the headlines or appease angry shareholders, did the boring, unglamorous hard work that was badly needed. It didn’t get her face on the cover of Fortune very often, but it solidified Disney’s continued solvency for the long haul.”

Ms. Henson’s solid business-minded approach should be little surprise from a woman who built up Fox Studios from the “Girl’s Department” of Triad into an entertainment powerhouse and who concurrently earned her MBA from Stanford Business School, graduating Magna Cum Laude (and likely would have been Summa Cum Laude had she not been “distracted” by running Disney). “She should have been given a Master’s of Business Science, given the meticulous, calculated way that she approaches business,” said former employee and current head of Fox Vanessa Morrison. “If there’s such a thing as a Business Engineer, that’s Lisa.”

Many assumed that Jim Henson might be disappointed that his daughter lacked his aggressive creative drive and risk-taking entrepreneurial spirit. They’d be wrong. “I couldn’t be prouder of Lisa,” Mr. Henson told Fortune. “She’s doing an amazing job. Frank, Stan [Kinsey], and I honestly left her a big mess to clean up, but she’s done a fantastic job, frankly far better than I did.”

New Disney Chairman Walt Disney Miller and CEO Mira Velimirovic (Image sources Twitter and Getty)

It remains to be seen which direction new Chairman Walt Disney Miller will take the company, though with CEO Mira Velimirovic, a Lisa Henson protégé, there to run things, few expect any dramatic shifts anytime soon. But even if Disney Miller and Velimirovic choose a more aggressive approach than Ms. Henson, they’ll have a solid financial footing to build from.

And if Ms. Henson’s “slow and steady” growth and fiscal constraint may not impress some of the more showboating executives out there, she couldn’t care less. She accomplished exactly what she set out to do, and did so without drama, the “steady hand on the wheel” able to navigate the ups-and-downs of bull and bear and keep the ship on course and ahead of schedule. She had a set goal to solidify the company for the long haul, the free hand to do so without the threat of a shareholder revolt, and the self-assuredness to not feel the need to impress others, which frankly makes her one of the most impressive executives in recent memory.

“Yes, when compared to her father’s time, Lisa’s reign was predictable and boring,” said Michael Bloomberg. “And that’s frankly a good thing. Disney is now one of the most solid companies out there. More executives should aspire to be this ‘uninspiring.’”

---

[1] Based on an idea by @Plateosaurus. Guest post possibly forthcoming.

[2] Clash’s “Me Too” incidents from the 2000s in our timeline, assuming they have any validity (the main one was found to be unsubstantiated and the others were thrown out due to statute of limitations before they could be vetted), have been butterflied by working in a zero-tolerance culture rather than our timeline’s “Boy’s Club” culture (he would have seen what happened with Jim and to Lasseter and thus learned to recognize boundaries). He also had the guidance of openly gay coworkers like Tom Schumacher, Andreas Deja, and Freddie Mercury to help him gracefully come to terms with his closeted homosexuality.

 

[Nathanoraptor]

People always seem to be looking to take a chunk out of a powerful woman - if you're Chair for seventeen years and mostly manage to keep a company ticking in that period, then you're doing a good job. I can also guess who the "real estate mogul" was.

And I presume that the Hensons - or Henson Arts Holding - still have their Disney shares - the article doesn't mention anything happening on that front. And, besides, the Henson/Disney alliance still seems pretty strong - given that the DisWar Two book mentions that people are still talking about that "Holy Hollywoo Emperor".

I also presume she's getting an "Emeritus" title too.

Great chapter, @Geekhis Khan.

 

[Bene Tleilax]

One witness reported that a real estate mogul, who’d been pressuring her to cut a hotel and casino deal with him, had stormed out of their meeting, calling her a “nasty woman”.

Assuming this is "45", I'm surprised his cancellation was never mentioned.

 

[TheFaultsofAlts]

All this to say that we're all glad Jim gave Lisa the same restrictions as any other Disney employee when she was making the Bunny Picnic franchise. If he hadn't, her reign at Disney wouldn't have been this form-fitting.

If we do see a new acquisition in more recent times IOTL, I can see a re-acquisition of Skeleton Crew, or a buyout of any one of the companies they've partnered with.

Oh, and may I just say that Damsel is just the kind of fairytale mockery that Disney would be proud to attempt?

 

[Neoteros]

Just found this on Reddit:

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1652575880214982656