British AH.com member and self-declared Prime Minister of the n00bs, from Leicester. He is also well known as the scribe of Whatianity, having written the Testament of What. Sometimes known as 'the English luakel'.

While at first cringing and whimpering at the innuending skills of Kit and Fellatio Nelson, he eventually came out as a gaysexual. Since then, he has begun innuending on a wide scale, a feat made much more difficult by the fact that he's a teenager. This has proved extremely successful at driving the Heterosexual Reconquista from threads.

He claims to be the Emperor of Mercia, although this title is not currently recognised by the British Government. Or, indeed, by anybody except himself. It has been revealed that Mercia consists of only his bedroom, although he apparenty has plans to expand to the bathroom.

He has a penchant for mapmaking, but this was suppressed when he realised he could never compare to Diamond.

He joined as Nekromans, shortened his nick to Nek, and recently changed it back to Nekromans. It'd be nice if he finally settled for some nick, but this is about as likely as a Successful Sealion.

• Nekropher
• Nek

Part of the cast in Doctor What‘s Extinction Event, in which he appears as 'Barry', a college student and frequent customer of 'Prospero's Books', who proceeds to have numerous adventures in a dinosaur-overrun Manhattan with the bookstore owner David bar Elias.