Stupid Luck and Happenstance.
- Thread starter Peabody-Martini
- Start date
That's pretty evil in itself, is it not.
Granted, but not something especially worst over OTL, like Hitler being reduced to a limbless madman cared for by Jews, or Goebbels freezing to death in the dark, or Goerring being beaten to death by angry Spaniards
????
The last I remember Goering he was being treated for the DT's and opium withdrawal, did I miss something along the way?
Unless I misremember, he was a pilot in the Spanish Civil war, got shot down, bailed out successfully, but the Spanish ground forces beat him to death
That would be a good one except it is from a different TL.
Part 36, Chapter 447
Chapter Four Hundred Forty-Seven
16th February 1945
Wunsdorf-Zossen
-Major Knispel
In regard to your latest inquiry, the design work on the improved Panther II turret was completed but the project was cancelled because…
Kurt wadded up the paper and threw it in the already overflowing trash bin. Because of his rank he got an office in the sprawling complex all to himself. What that meant in practice was that he got his own trash bin. He’d been assigned to the staff of the Generals who were attempting to assess the lessons of the Soviet War and he was having to deal with the same sort of conversations, constantly. Projects had been started, some even completed, but they had then been axed because of changing requirements or just because the Soviet War was over and the priorities had changed. The worst part was that it was his own office that was deciding what got the axe and what didn’t. He wasn’t the one who made those determinations but he was the one who got to field the angry phone calls when it happened.
The latest example was a redesign of the Panther turret that had gotten to the prototype stage before it too was killed. It was said that the axe the OKW was swinging was chopping everything. If the effect that Kurt saw that it was having on armored vehicles was being replicated elsewhere then there would be a lot of carnage going on out there. The Tiger, Tiger II and the various vehicles derived from that family had just gotten killed, deemed too heavy, hard to transport and prone to breakdown. The SPz-3 that been killed because it didn’t offer a real improvement over the existing SPz-2. The gun and ammo schleppers derived from Panzer II and Russian T-34 hulls were only to be phased out when replacement vehicles became available, replacement vehicles that remained only hypothetical. The humble StuG was to be modernized, because no replacement existed either. All surviving Panzer IVs and Jagdpanzers IVs were to be sold abroad. The Panther and the vehicles derived from it had emerged supreme.
The decisions seemed logical enough but every time they resulted in angry phone calls to Kurt who could do nothing but listen to the complaints and then do nothing. It was starting to sink in that he could just as easily be asleep down here, so long as the phone got answered no one cared.
Atlanta, Georgia
Martin had been waiting for the door to get kicked in at any second for the last several days. The dynamite and blasting cap had come from a forgotten corner where he’d remembered he’d seen it years before. It had been old with crystallized nitroglycerin coating it. He considered himself lucky that he’d not blown himself up touching it. Gaining access to the Governor’s car had been simple enough. Everyone knew about the girl he had on the side, prejudice evidently didn’t get in the way of powerful men’s choice of bed partners. Martin supposed that there was a lesson in that for him. While the Governor was getting his pipes cleaned and his driver was killing time playing pinball across the street with the body guards, Martin was the wiring the explosives to the undercarriage of the car.
Martin must have done something wrong because the bomb hadn’t gone off when it was supposed to. The Governor had ridden around for three days with it under there until the car hit a bump or something just outside of the State House only yards from where the massacre had occurred. The result was that Martin had made a bigger statement than he had intended to. What had followed was what should have been expected. The local police had resorted to what they always did, arrested the usual suspects and leaned on them to find out if they knew anything. Martin wasn’t a part of that crowd, so they didn’t. Out in the sticks the Klan was on a tear but they hadn’t come into the city, not openly anyway. Martin maintained his silence and watched but still he had worries in the back of his mind. Had someone seen him under that car? It occurred to him that it was his silence that was protecting him but how long could that last?
Berlin
“Your clothes should make you feel powerful, Katherine love” Claus Voll said, “This thing you do to hide in them, just doesn’t work at all.”
Voll was a totally different experience for Kat. Kira had recommended that Kat at least talk to him. She had said that he was safe enough, “Claus Voll prefers the company of his fellow man” was how Kira had put it. As if a man working in the fashion industry wasn’t already a clue, the massive painting of Frederick the Great in the lobby, something that had become a signal of a certain sort of friendliness, would have been. Voll was said to be a close associate of Ernst Rohm. They had taken the whole notion of Prussian militarism and turned it on its head in the time between the end of the Spanish War, which Voll had served with distinction in, and the start of the Soviet War. Now that the Soviet War was over they had picked right up where they had left off. Even so, Kat had brought Doug along. That hadn’t worked out quite how she had intended though, the result was a bit amusing. Doug was on the receiving end of the sort of attention that Kat normally would have gotten. Hopefully Doug would learn something from the experience.
“So I’ve been told” Kat replied.
“I merely make suggestions, Freiin” Voll said, “What you do with them is your business.”
“And you get paid for this?” Kat asked incredulously.
“It is because I’m the best at what I do” Voll answered, “For example, you are known to prefer to conceal your form which is understandable for someone who trained to be a spy. Why do it in the manner that you are when you could make yourself mysterious?”
That did sound interesting.
16th February 1945
Wunsdorf-Zossen
-Major Knispel
In regard to your latest inquiry, the design work on the improved Panther II turret was completed but the project was cancelled because…
Kurt wadded up the paper and threw it in the already overflowing trash bin. Because of his rank he got an office in the sprawling complex all to himself. What that meant in practice was that he got his own trash bin. He’d been assigned to the staff of the Generals who were attempting to assess the lessons of the Soviet War and he was having to deal with the same sort of conversations, constantly. Projects had been started, some even completed, but they had then been axed because of changing requirements or just because the Soviet War was over and the priorities had changed. The worst part was that it was his own office that was deciding what got the axe and what didn’t. He wasn’t the one who made those determinations but he was the one who got to field the angry phone calls when it happened.
The latest example was a redesign of the Panther turret that had gotten to the prototype stage before it too was killed. It was said that the axe the OKW was swinging was chopping everything. If the effect that Kurt saw that it was having on armored vehicles was being replicated elsewhere then there would be a lot of carnage going on out there. The Tiger, Tiger II and the various vehicles derived from that family had just gotten killed, deemed too heavy, hard to transport and prone to breakdown. The SPz-3 that been killed because it didn’t offer a real improvement over the existing SPz-2. The gun and ammo schleppers derived from Panzer II and Russian T-34 hulls were only to be phased out when replacement vehicles became available, replacement vehicles that remained only hypothetical. The humble StuG was to be modernized, because no replacement existed either. All surviving Panzer IVs and Jagdpanzers IVs were to be sold abroad. The Panther and the vehicles derived from it had emerged supreme.
The decisions seemed logical enough but every time they resulted in angry phone calls to Kurt who could do nothing but listen to the complaints and then do nothing. It was starting to sink in that he could just as easily be asleep down here, so long as the phone got answered no one cared.
Atlanta, Georgia
Martin had been waiting for the door to get kicked in at any second for the last several days. The dynamite and blasting cap had come from a forgotten corner where he’d remembered he’d seen it years before. It had been old with crystallized nitroglycerin coating it. He considered himself lucky that he’d not blown himself up touching it. Gaining access to the Governor’s car had been simple enough. Everyone knew about the girl he had on the side, prejudice evidently didn’t get in the way of powerful men’s choice of bed partners. Martin supposed that there was a lesson in that for him. While the Governor was getting his pipes cleaned and his driver was killing time playing pinball across the street with the body guards, Martin was the wiring the explosives to the undercarriage of the car.
Martin must have done something wrong because the bomb hadn’t gone off when it was supposed to. The Governor had ridden around for three days with it under there until the car hit a bump or something just outside of the State House only yards from where the massacre had occurred. The result was that Martin had made a bigger statement than he had intended to. What had followed was what should have been expected. The local police had resorted to what they always did, arrested the usual suspects and leaned on them to find out if they knew anything. Martin wasn’t a part of that crowd, so they didn’t. Out in the sticks the Klan was on a tear but they hadn’t come into the city, not openly anyway. Martin maintained his silence and watched but still he had worries in the back of his mind. Had someone seen him under that car? It occurred to him that it was his silence that was protecting him but how long could that last?
Berlin
“Your clothes should make you feel powerful, Katherine love” Claus Voll said, “This thing you do to hide in them, just doesn’t work at all.”
Voll was a totally different experience for Kat. Kira had recommended that Kat at least talk to him. She had said that he was safe enough, “Claus Voll prefers the company of his fellow man” was how Kira had put it. As if a man working in the fashion industry wasn’t already a clue, the massive painting of Frederick the Great in the lobby, something that had become a signal of a certain sort of friendliness, would have been. Voll was said to be a close associate of Ernst Rohm. They had taken the whole notion of Prussian militarism and turned it on its head in the time between the end of the Spanish War, which Voll had served with distinction in, and the start of the Soviet War. Now that the Soviet War was over they had picked right up where they had left off. Even so, Kat had brought Doug along. That hadn’t worked out quite how she had intended though, the result was a bit amusing. Doug was on the receiving end of the sort of attention that Kat normally would have gotten. Hopefully Doug would learn something from the experience.
“So I’ve been told” Kat replied.
“I merely make suggestions, Freiin” Voll said, “What you do with them is your business.”
“And you get paid for this?” Kat asked incredulously.
“It is because I’m the best at what I do” Voll answered, “For example, you are known to prefer to conceal your form which is understandable for someone who trained to be a spy. Why do it in the manner that you are when you could make yourself mysterious?”
That did sound interesting.
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Sag ja zu dem Kleid!* This is a sidesplittingly hilarious cameo and alternate history for Rohm.
Let's see:
Hitler - Stumpy
Goebbels - Popsicle
Heydrich - Sadistic prison guard who ends up very dead
Himmler - forgot what happened to him
Goering - Veterans Hospital rehab patient and aide
Rohm - Fashion Designer
Stauffenburg - Officious, snobbish leader of Hans's unit
Rommel - Cavalry officer overshadowed by Wovogole
Say yes to the Dress!
Which could in turn see them head further north into Canada or, potentially with American government help, to work in the oil industry in Alaska.
I don't see many wanting to take it, but if they did it could be interesting to turn Alaska into a Great White Black State. The downside to that is that in the event of a particular type of populist government, Alaska could end up as the dumping ground for the results of their ethnic cleansing.
I don't see many wanting to take it, but if they did it could be interesting to turn Alaska into a Great White Black State. The downside to that is that in the event of a particular type of populist government, Alaska could end up as the dumping ground for the results of their ethnic cleansing.
Sharecroppers couldn't leave as long as they owed the landowner money, and the landowners generally ensured that this was the case. The local sheriffs would being them back.
There is leaving and "leaving" and suddenly they all were gone. And Mr-Rich-Northener-has-decided-to-buy-their-debt-and-make-a-headline could also be.
Remember that President Dewey is a Northern Republican with a reasonably good record on civil rights and isn't beholden to the Dixiecrats like Roosevelt or Truman were OTL. Taking steps against the Klan, lynching and segregation isn't necessarily going to do him any harm politically provided he doesn't act too far in advance of public opinion North of the Mason-Dixon line.
I think he means that Rohm is a Friend with Benefits to Voll; last we saw of Rohm was that he had been a politician.
Let's try it a different way:
Hitler: Stumpy
Goebbels: Icy
Heydrich: Punchy
Stauffenburg: Grumpy
Goering: Doc
Anyone want to come up with the last two of the seven?
With the exception in the 13th Amendment[0], some would say "never." Look here for quite an egregious example[1]. Note that Peabody-Martini hasn't indicated that this practice existed ITTL.
[0] "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction." (emphasis added)
[1] This is why I've abandoned my 183rd Survey Group until I can deal with it.
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In some jurisdictions, companies rented prisoners from the state. They were taken from the prison in the morning, put on the chain gang, and brought back at night. Guess what color the prisoners were...
When there was a shortage, more people would be convicted of whatever was convenient. After all, if someone was a n*****, they were guilty.
The grim brilliance of the vagrancy laws was that they introduced socialized slavery. Now you no longer had to feed, clothe, and house your involuntary labor force, because the government took care of that.