Kaiserreich: Legacy of the Weltkrieg
- Thread starter RiverDelta
- Start date
Deleted member 107125
Same here. But Suraj is amazing (probably biased cos I'm an Indian socialist)
Or on the alternate ending you join the minuteman and help.long.to.crush the KKK.
We can have a totalist CSA ending too, the government takes all cows and promise to send the milk. You wake up 4am and go to the line and get water with white paint instead.
Sichuan Cow Joke: You have four cows. The cows fight each other and don't notice that the grass has wilted and starve to death.
Shanxi Cow Joke: One of your cows has schizophrenia but is highly intelligent. The other cow is very contemplative but is fierce. Both cows tolerate the other but want to be leader of the herd.
Shanxi Cow Joke: One of your cows has schizophrenia but is highly intelligent. The other cow is very contemplative but is fierce. Both cows tolerate the other but want to be leader of the herd.
TIME FOR BRAZILIAN COW JOKES!
Normal (republican, liberal democrat and liberal) Cow:
You are the people and you have two cows, you can do anything you want with them as you pay taxes. You remember the past when the republicans and liberals took your cows and so you are very afraid of returning to that.
Syndicalist, Radsoc and Socdem cows:
You have two cows, the government gives you help to raise the cows. As time passes on you get more cows and they produce more milk, you never could expect to live to such living standart but you can now live the dream.
Brazilian integralist cow:
Your cows are now catholic. You can also only have cows because factories are of the devil.
Brazilian New State cow:
The government creates a bureau to help the cow production and give you two plus cows to start and pump subsidies, you end as a cow magnat.
Brazilian Totalist Cow:
Your cows join the army.
Normal (republican, liberal democrat and liberal) Cow:
You are the people and you have two cows, you can do anything you want with them as you pay taxes. You remember the past when the republicans and liberals took your cows and so you are very afraid of returning to that.
Syndicalist, Radsoc and Socdem cows:
You have two cows, the government gives you help to raise the cows. As time passes on you get more cows and they produce more milk, you never could expect to live to such living standart but you can now live the dream.
Brazilian integralist cow:
Your cows are now catholic. You can also only have cows because factories are of the devil.
Brazilian New State cow:
The government creates a bureau to help the cow production and give you two plus cows to start and pump subsidies, you end as a cow magnat.
Brazilian Totalist Cow:
Your cows join the army.
Deleted member 107125
Indian Cow Jokes
Radsoc Bharatiya- You have two cows. Both of them are pledged to a local landowner. The government insists that they are actually working finely as part of a cooperative hierarchy.
Syndie Bharatiya- You own a factory farm, and the cows are both milked using machinery. The machinery, however, is expensive, and you have no idea how to operate it.
Totalist Bharatiya- Both your cows are killed while working in the factory farm.
Ansyn Bharatiya- Your cow’s resources are equally split as part of a cooperative farming program, controlled by the Panchayat of Workers and Peasants taking direct orders from the Communal Ministry of Agriculture, controlled by the Panchayati Committee, made up of the Panchayats of all towns, voted for by everybody, except actually you have no ideological consistency whatsoever because you were last coded in 2016.
Princely Federation- You have a cow. The other is German, but you keep asking for it.
Dominion of India- Both your cows are oppressed. But you’re in the entente so nobody cares.
Radsoc Bharatiya- You have two cows. Both of them are pledged to a local landowner. The government insists that they are actually working finely as part of a cooperative hierarchy.
Syndie Bharatiya- You own a factory farm, and the cows are both milked using machinery. The machinery, however, is expensive, and you have no idea how to operate it.
Totalist Bharatiya- Both your cows are killed while working in the factory farm.
Ansyn Bharatiya- Your cow’s resources are equally split as part of a cooperative farming program, controlled by the Panchayat of Workers and Peasants taking direct orders from the Communal Ministry of Agriculture, controlled by the Panchayati Committee, made up of the Panchayats of all towns, voted for by everybody, except actually you have no ideological consistency whatsoever because you were last coded in 2016.
Princely Federation- You have a cow. The other is German, but you keep asking for it.
Dominion of India- Both your cows are oppressed. But you’re in the entente so nobody cares.
American cow jokes:
CSA:
Socialist Republic of America: You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. One dies in the Revolution as you try to get feed for them to keep your farm solvent. The government attempts to pre-empt further famines and depressions by regulating the corrupt businesses that caused the mess in the first place, but the whole thing turns into a byzantine mess because of the awkward hybrid of state-owned and private industries. Still, you have a surviving cow, and the government is doing what they can to help your farm recover.
Commonwealth of America: You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. One dies in the Revolution as you try to get feed for them to keep your farm solvent. The new government organizes the animals on your farm into a democratic cooperative as part of a broader attempt to hyper-democratize everything. You and your neighbors get together and build a new farm, then pool your resources and start breeding all your cows to rebuild your herds as a new, larger, communal herd that you all raise together. The country's still a wreck and you have to spend a third of your time in town meetings, but at least your voice is being heard.
USAS (Browder): You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. One dies in the Revolution as you try to get feed for them to keep your farm solvent. The new government seizes your surviving cow for the betterment of the New Socialist Order.
USAS (Foster): You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. One dies in the Revolution as you try to get feed for them to keep your farm solvent. The new government legalizes suicide and your surviving cow commits government-assisted suicide after criticizing Comrade Foster.
AUS:
Huey: You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. One dies restoring America for the Kingfish, and the other has an AFP logo branded onto it by the new government. Better not object, because every patriotic American man loves Huey Long if he knows what's good for him. At least Huey gave you some cash to keep you going while he figures out how to fix the economy.
Business Plot: You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. One dies restoring America against unpatriotic influences and traitors. The new government confiscates your other cow and offers to sell it back to you with a Ford logo branded onto it. Any protestation is Unpatriotic and Treasonous against the great Mr. Ford, and punishable by termination of your life contract by Mr. Ford's privatized death commandos.
Christian Commonwealth: You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. One dies fighting to cleanse America of treasonous and unpatriotic elements, and the pernicious influence of the Negro-Judeo-Bolshevik Illuminati and their Germano-Assyrian puppets. The other is shot by the new government on suspicion of being racially impure. It was dying anyway, though, because vaccines and antibiotics are un-Christian and corrupt the White Anglo-Saxon Race (so sayeth Chief Pelley).
USA:
MacArthur (American Caesar): You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. One dies defending America against treasonous forces. The other is shot on suspicion of political radicalism by the new junta.
MacArthur (American Cincinnatus): You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. One dies defending America against treasonous forces. The other avoids political radicalism if it knows what's good for it.
Olson (negotiate with both): You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. The President nearly gets everybody to agree on a way to save both cows, but is couped and shot by junta forces when your landlord says he cares too much about your cows. See MacArthur options.
Olson (negotiate with Reed only): You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. The President attempts to save both, but one dies in a rebellion led by Huey Long. The President helps you get enough feed for the other cow anyway.
Garner (do nothing): You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. The President says that doing anything would be against the principles of the free market, so the military coups him, and the country falls apart in sheer rage. See MacArthur options.
Garner (compromise with Long): You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. The President cuts a deal with Huey Long to get you a month's worth of feed. Jack Reed points out that this won't actually solve the structural problem that has led to the famine and depression, and a third of the country gives up on the government and secedes. One of your cows dies in the rebellion. In the aftermath, your landlord swears up and down that he'll give you a square deal this time, really!
Landon; You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. The President tries to make some token changes to save both, but it's not enough to save them, and the country collapses as half the country thinks he should've done more. In the aftermath, your surviving cow is fed by a federal farm-relief program.
PSA:
You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. When MacArthur launches his coup, you tell him to sod off, because this is America, by jingo, and we're a democracy, not a dictatorship.
New England:
You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. When the civil war breaks out, the Canadians invade and set up a puppet regime. Don't object, or your still-starving cows will be shot for seditious Syndicalist propaganda-mongering. But you're part of the Entente, so obviously this is a glorious democratic utopia where the King is good and nobody ever objects because they love King Eddie just that much! Don't dispute this obvious fact or Minitru willtorture humanely interrogate you to death before you sadly expire of a tragic heart attack.
CSA:
Socialist Republic of America: You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. One dies in the Revolution as you try to get feed for them to keep your farm solvent. The government attempts to pre-empt further famines and depressions by regulating the corrupt businesses that caused the mess in the first place, but the whole thing turns into a byzantine mess because of the awkward hybrid of state-owned and private industries. Still, you have a surviving cow, and the government is doing what they can to help your farm recover.
Commonwealth of America: You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. One dies in the Revolution as you try to get feed for them to keep your farm solvent. The new government organizes the animals on your farm into a democratic cooperative as part of a broader attempt to hyper-democratize everything. You and your neighbors get together and build a new farm, then pool your resources and start breeding all your cows to rebuild your herds as a new, larger, communal herd that you all raise together. The country's still a wreck and you have to spend a third of your time in town meetings, but at least your voice is being heard.
USAS (Browder): You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. One dies in the Revolution as you try to get feed for them to keep your farm solvent. The new government seizes your surviving cow for the betterment of the New Socialist Order.
USAS (Foster): You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. One dies in the Revolution as you try to get feed for them to keep your farm solvent. The new government legalizes suicide and your surviving cow commits government-assisted suicide after criticizing Comrade Foster.
AUS:
Huey: You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. One dies restoring America for the Kingfish, and the other has an AFP logo branded onto it by the new government. Better not object, because every patriotic American man loves Huey Long if he knows what's good for him. At least Huey gave you some cash to keep you going while he figures out how to fix the economy.
Business Plot: You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. One dies restoring America against unpatriotic influences and traitors. The new government confiscates your other cow and offers to sell it back to you with a Ford logo branded onto it. Any protestation is Unpatriotic and Treasonous against the great Mr. Ford, and punishable by termination of your life contract by Mr. Ford's privatized death commandos.
Christian Commonwealth: You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. One dies fighting to cleanse America of treasonous and unpatriotic elements, and the pernicious influence of the Negro-Judeo-Bolshevik Illuminati and their Germano-Assyrian puppets. The other is shot by the new government on suspicion of being racially impure. It was dying anyway, though, because vaccines and antibiotics are un-Christian and corrupt the White Anglo-Saxon Race (so sayeth Chief Pelley).
USA:
MacArthur (American Caesar): You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. One dies defending America against treasonous forces. The other is shot on suspicion of political radicalism by the new junta.
MacArthur (American Cincinnatus): You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. One dies defending America against treasonous forces. The other avoids political radicalism if it knows what's good for it.
Olson (negotiate with both): You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. The President nearly gets everybody to agree on a way to save both cows, but is couped and shot by junta forces when your landlord says he cares too much about your cows. See MacArthur options.
Olson (negotiate with Reed only): You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. The President attempts to save both, but one dies in a rebellion led by Huey Long. The President helps you get enough feed for the other cow anyway.
Garner (do nothing): You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. The President says that doing anything would be against the principles of the free market, so the military coups him, and the country falls apart in sheer rage. See MacArthur options.
Garner (compromise with Long): You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. The President cuts a deal with Huey Long to get you a month's worth of feed. Jack Reed points out that this won't actually solve the structural problem that has led to the famine and depression, and a third of the country gives up on the government and secedes. One of your cows dies in the rebellion. In the aftermath, your landlord swears up and down that he'll give you a square deal this time, really!
Landon; You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. The President tries to make some token changes to save both, but it's not enough to save them, and the country collapses as half the country thinks he should've done more. In the aftermath, your surviving cow is fed by a federal farm-relief program.
PSA:
You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. When MacArthur launches his coup, you tell him to sod off, because this is America, by jingo, and we're a democracy, not a dictatorship.
New England:
You have two cows, which are slowly wasting away amid the famine and depression. When the civil war breaks out, the Canadians invade and set up a puppet regime. Don't object, or your still-starving cows will be shot for seditious Syndicalist propaganda-mongering. But you're part of the Entente, so obviously this is a glorious democratic utopia where the King is good and nobody ever objects because they love King Eddie just that much! Don't dispute this obvious fact or Minitru will
Canada: You have two cows. The government takes half the milk they make for the Glorious Reclamation initiative. If you protest, you will be arrested for spreading Syndicalist propaganda, but it's OK because Canada is a perfect democracy.
Ireland: You have two cows, and blame the British for not having more. This is accurate, as the Blacks and Tans killed much of your father's herd back in the Easter Rising and subsequent revolutionary struggles.
Britain (Autonomists): You have two cows. The government attempts to give the cattle their own homeland so that their voices can be heard more loudly and to respect the ethnic traditions of cows. This goes about as well as can be expected.
Britain (Horner/Mann): You have two cows. You all vote in local union leadership elections to send delegates to the TUC. You are told that this is better than Parliament because the voices of the Proletariat are heard now. You may not be 100% certain about this, but at least the government has the excuse of a massive German embargo to explain the rationing, while the UK had the excuse of "we need to prepare for round 2, now work, peon!"
Britain (Kenney): You have two cows. Comrade Kenney promises an end to war. You get dragged into the worst war in human history by the goddamn French anyway. You and your cows are seriously doubting Fraternal Syndicalist Brotherhood at this point, but at least Britain is only bombed a little bit instead of being straight-up invaded.
Britain (Mosley): You have two cows. Both are confiscated by the government to be ruled directly from London. In return, the government gives you a poster of Comrade Mosley to put on your wall and a sculpture of Comrade Mosley to put in your Christmas Nativity scene. England Prevails!
Speaking of Canada, what happens if the reclamation invasion happens but right during the middle of it, the CSA invades and annex Canada, how does that affect the invasion and the loyalist?
The loyalists collapse and IIRC the Entente collapses and the rest of the Entente peaces out.
Deleted member 107125
did I not do one?BRAVO! BRAVO!
Now please, after you rest (because you already entertained us a lot), do a Chinese one
How does the loyalist collapse affect the UoB and what happens to the stranded Entente soldiers?
