The Caliphate of Toronto: 1783

An episode of AH.com The Next Generation.

Season: 1

Episode: 4

Written by: Wolf

Air date: May 25, 2009

Trivia: First episode to be written by Wolf.

Plot

Analytical Engine calls Big Tex and Wolf away from their televised college football to deliver frightening news. The Stranger has reached a 1783 timeline in which Tom Kratman and the Randomid and Obligatad Caliphates are looking for Toronto. Since, as we all know, Toronto did not exist in 1783, our heros must stop Kratman et al. before very bad things happen. Meanwhile, TheDarkServant in vain competes with Leo Caesius's good looks.

Hashasheen and godsown1991 remain in orbit to protect the ship from hostiles. Analytical Engine remains in orbit to protect the ship from Hashasheen and godsown1991.

Big Tex, Wolf, Jord839, nikky, and Zyzzyva enter Tom Kratman's camp through the front; they meet Lieutenant Northstar of the gaysexualists, who fails to convince the team to remove their pants. Northstar leads the team to “the bossman, general Tom Kratman”, who reveals that his evil plan is to conquer Toronto and use it as his base to rule the Caliphate. He then imprisons Team 1.

Meanwhile, ImperialVienna and TheDarkServant infiltrate the camp. The latter sets up a distraction by playing random songs on a jukebox, but is captured by Lieutenant UnitedStatesOfMars13. ImperialVienna sneaks into the laundry and steal a uniform and some papers, but flees the camp upon realizing everyone else had been captured.

Wanderlust, who had remained behind with Lobo to guard the shuttles, receives ImperialVienna, and sends up to the Stranger for reinforcements. Hashasheen and godsown1991 fly down in Shuttle #3, releasing a Tsar Bomba on a random tangent in the process.

Wanderlust et al. then rescue the captured crew members and set a course for a Hawaiiwank world. (The Tsar Bomba hit Philadelphia.)