Vision: We of the AHGNC envision a board where every member, including gaysexuals, n00bs, furries..and even heteros, has the right, the duty, and the obligation to obtain the maximum firepower that they can.
Diggability: Studies have shown that chicks dig guns, so we will strive to be as diggable as possible. Especially if they are hot, like C&G…..This in no way implies that gaysexuals cannot think guns are hot, either. Shooting: We like to shoot. We think everyone should shoot more, and shoot more often. Studies have shown that the endorphines released from a really hot, sweaty shooting session can bring joy, happiness, and reduce acne. In fact, we hope to continue these studies as frequently as possible, just to…umm, verify these facts. Yeah….we need a volunteer from the audience….
Zombies: Only by being heavily armed, can AH.COM maintain a society free of zombies and their filth. Zombies cannot shoot, have no endorphines to release, and thus have no rights. If it can't shoot, give it the boot.
Economy: In a gun-driven economy, where people shoot a lot, there is happiness. Happy consumers are good consumers. A thriving firearm industry can provide jobs for the young n00bs. Good paying, secure jobs. With guns.
Trampolines: Guns and trampolines. Think about it.
National Health Care: We oppose this, as the taxation to implement this would reduce funding for guns, trampolines, and Chex Mix. Besides, if the government can't deliver the mail on time, what makes you think they can help your diverticulitis? Hmmmm? Mr Smarty-pants?
We also enjoy long walks on the beach, strawberries dipped in chocolate, and sunsets……with guns, of course.
In the name of freedom, peace, and security, please consider supporting the most extreme gun fanatics on AH.COM, The Alternate History Gun Nut Coalition. Thank you, may Sam Colt bless you…