I think these proposals will work well to modernize Hungary, if they can actually be implemented successfully.@Fehérvári I hope this sounds plausible
Soundtrack: Paul Wranitzky: Symphony in C Major "Joy of the Hungarian Nation" - Adagio Maestoso - Vivace Assai
*exterior* *looking down at Pest from Gellért-hegy* *cut to Stephan and his new wife, Viktoria of Kohary, laying the foundation stone of what will be the new bridge spanning the Danube* *we can already see the pointed piers above river level in places [1]* *we are then shown various shots of the city which shows that the city is undergoing a significant rebuilding [2]*
*cut to sitting of the Lower House of the Hungarian Diet [3], presided over by Palatine Joseph* *this parliament makes the French one look rowdy, while the Hungarians are definitely agitated, they're not throwing chairs or brandishing swords [4]*
Joseph: *speaking in Latin [5]* it is the wish of our king thus, that by the dawn of the year of our Lord 1841, all serfs within the Kingdom of Hungary as well as the newly unified Partium are to be declared free of their historical obligations towards the landowners-
Delegates: *absolutely furious at this*
Delegate #1[7]: *in Latin* Excellency, I would caution against giving the people a share in freedom, since their freedoms remain undiminished as is. After all, excellency, what is the value of my freedom if all men are free? These "free men" would then increase the number of detached villages, and since it would then be impossible to refuse them representation in this noble house, the aristocracy would diminish. And as France has proved - recently and in the past - without the aristocracy a country's happiness is impossible
Joseph: *unperturbed by this* their historical obligations towards the landowners in exchange for a set fee of compensation - set by a committee to be established in Buda - towards the landowners-
Delegates: *suddenly quiet* *looking at one another like "did you know about this"* *and others' faces take on a glazed look as they clearly are trying to work out how much they can make from the government in exchange*
Joseph: -it is believed by his Most Apostolic Majesty that these compensations would be more than adequate to sustain the loss of income caused by the loss of income as set by her Most Apostolic Majesty of blessed memory, Queen Maria Theresia-
Delegates: *one minute counting money now look agitated again*
Joseph: -it is also his Most Apostolic Majesty's wish that the persons who own such land as should be forced to sacrifice it for the building of railways, shall be paid a fixed annual rent for the use of his or her land by the treasury, to be calculated according to the regularity of the cargo passing through his lands [8]-
Delegates: *mollified again*
Joseph: -it is for this reason that his Most Apostolic Majesty has decided to suppress the guilds in the name of encouraging industrial development-
Delegates: *immediately banging on about how this is an assault on their ancient privileges granted to them by Maria Theresia* *which said that industrial development in Hungary would be halted in favour of agricultural development*
August of Coburg-Kohary: but sirs, if there is nothing to produce but grain and grapes, what need is there of those railways that you seemingly agreed to. When for mere grain and grapes the roads in Hungary could suffice. Do the guilds manufacture the iron for the tracks? The mechanisms for the engines? Where will those be made? Hungarians will mine the iron that will then have to be exported to be made into locomotives and railway tracks by Englishmen and Frenchmen. Hungarians will then mine the gold that they will have to pay in order to purchase a product made from local iron by the English or French! Why should we swell the treasuries of foreign nations when it is within our powers to encourage this? Would we have the king doubt our loyalty as he currently does the Venetians for nearly murdering his nephew?
Delegates: *murmur among themselves*
August: *to Joseph* my mother, the Countess Kohary [9] has announced that she would be happy to demonstrate her loyalty to his Most Apostolic Majesty and allow such industry on her estates.
Delegate #2: *not to be outdone* *declares* and I would be pleased to announce the same.
Delegate #3: *elbows way forward* never let it be said that my family was backwards in supporting the king's decision.
*cut to Metternich's study in Vienna*
Metternich: *reading report* *tone of near shock* serfdom abolished, to be compensated by the state. Guilds suppressed in favour of creation of light industry. Railway production to be done only in Bohemia or Austria until such time as Hungary can "compete". Territorial integrity had to be guaranteed in order to undercut a push for internal tariffs on products produced outside of Hungary. Territorial integrity also allowed a curbing - not abolition - of autonomy in some counties in order to prevent withholding of taxes* [10]
[1] this would be OTL's Széchenyi Chain Bridge. The pointed piers is (on the model of the Charles Bridge in Prague and what they did on several bridges in Heidelberg, Frankfurt and Würzburg after the disastrous Europe wide floods of 1784) to both "ease" the current of the river as well as protect the piers against items in the river (such as overly large ice build-up). Again, not a "new" idea.
[2] the king of Hungary's visit to Buda and Pest played a big role in getting some of the improvements "rammed" through a whole decade earlier than OTL. Not saying he gave Joseph and Lonyay free-reign, but I suspect Goodinand could be convinced of the benefits of "Haussmannizing" the Hungarian capital. After all, AIUI, by OTL it was done by mail and he made the decisions in a Viennese anti-Hungarian bubble.
[3] the Diet sat in Pressburg/Bratislava, not in Budapest, which is why Stephan/Viktoria are doing the foundation stone laying. Chalk it up to Frankie's near-death-experience causing a block in the pipeline (people were probably a bit skittish of public appearance for a while and also didn't want to court bad press by doing this. So the actual foundations might already be thrown and the "stone laying" is more just a "putting a brick in place"*
[4] I have no idea how accurate the stereotype usually shown of a Hungarian parliament is as chaotic and well, violent, is. Whether it's just due to the general association of Hungary with "barbarism" in the 19th century mindset, or whether they actually were so rowdy. I chose that, while there is definitely contention, it doesn't look like the parliament in a Banana Republic
[5] yup, Joseph holds the Guinness World Record for being the last "head of state" to be fluent in spoken Latin
[7] I have no idea who's likely to be at this parliament
[8] basically, this gives the nobles/magnates an "incentive" to agree to a trainline running through their land, but also ensures that they remain Vienna's bitch by accepting that money. The nobles might agree to the railways in theory, but this gives even those who are opposed, a reason to consider going all in. It's also likely to set the landlords at one another's throats squabbling over profits rather than ganging up against the king
[9] women landowners were obliged to send a "representative" to the sittings of the Diet rather than being allowed to attend themselves. Why August? He had an interest in geology, so he'd be a likelier candidate than his opera-writing brother. Whether his mother did actually agree to this though is debatable. But essentially, August is the "plant" to exploit family rivalries
[10] thanks to @Fehérvári for suggesting these reforms. Granted, they're not pushed through all at once, and many of them are probably watered down by debates over them (similarly to how many laws look radically different between the drafting and the final version approved). But they are definitely a start/causing discussion about them in the Hungarian parliament that session.
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Frankie Goes to the Hofburg, or Napoléon II, Regent of Austria?
I think these proposals will work well to modernize Hungary, if they can actually be implemented successfully.
At the duel, people saw Frankie stab his sword on the ground and say words. What did he say?
'Tis The Cunning'st Alchemist...Will Turn A Tailor To A Man [1]
Soundtrack: Michael William Balfe: Overture to Falstaff
*exterior* *cliffs of Dover* *zoom in on two gentlemen climbing the stairs to the pier*
Gentleman #1: *groans* what are you doing here, the sun is out!
Frankie: *nonchalantly puffing on a cigarette as he leans against the carriage* it's nice to see you to...Ernie. *you can tell he doesn't mean it*
Ernie a.k.a. Ernst of Coburg: I mean it, what are you doing here.
Frankie: *looks at Albert's sick stained waistcoat*[2] don't worry, my crossing wasn't so great either. -There's clean clothes for you in the carriage.
Albert: *smiles weakly* *looks like he's about to be sick again*
Frankie: *as Albert gets in the coach* there's white hellebore in the box on the seat.
Ernie: *distastefully* aren't you just the ray of sunshine.
Albert: *weakly* Ernst
Frankie: your brother gets sea-sick going too fast down a Vienna street in a well-sprung carriage, your uncle didn't think that maybe this would happen. Where's your luggage? Servants? Footman?
Albert: still in Calais. They realized on arriving that *vomits into the street*
Frankie: better out than in is what I said when Amalie had morning sickness.
Ernie: *gives a "for the love of god" look* does that apply to your little bastards as well?
Frankie: well, on the subject of bastards...most of you Coburgs are proof of what happens when you hold in a fart. *closes carriage door so Albert can change*
Ernie: and what of the Bonapartes?
Frankie: like poisonous mushrooms. Indigestible, unpalatable and deadly.
Ernie: like murder your own brother deadly. Very Corsican vendetta
Frankie: *icily* you know anyone else who could do it in public, in broad daylight and get cheered for it. *normal voice* You asked why I'm here? I was asked to leave Paris because girls are mailing me their underwear and Le Grand Mogul was having a shortage as a result.
Ernie: *looks at Frankie like he's completely bonkers*
Frankie: the better question is why you're here.
Ernie: we were both invited.
Frankie: *looks Ernie up and down disdainfully* pity. Now he looks weak. Like he needs a nurse to run after him, hold his hand.
Ernie: and you wouldn't have done that.
Frankie: *snorts* course not. Albert's big enough, old enough and by God ugly enough to decide to get his dick pierced by himself, what does he need me for?
Ernie: *looks at Albert through the coach window* you what?
Albert: *now looking slightly more "dignified"* don't start with me Ernie. It's all you, Papa and Uncle Leopold have been doing for the last week. And I'm sick of it.
Ernie: well, then how about I get onto the boat to leave at next tide
Frankie: *evil smile* ave atque vale [3]
Albert: *pokes head out of coach window* that goes for you too, Frankie. I've had to spend the better part of the last week defending you from being called a murderer.
Frankie: you should've let them. I don't mind.
Albert: you're my commanding officer *clearly getting dressed while speaking* how would that have looked?
Frankie: while I'm...very touched that you could display such...affection and loyalty, I'd prefer it if you'd saved it up for La Petite. Mean, we should probably just reschedule now that you blew your load on my behalf.
Ernie: *looks at Frankie and Albert* *to Frankie* you're disgusting.
Frankie: and you're obviously an acquired case. Although I'm guessing your brother just flashed anybody in the houses facing us, since he forgot to close the shutters when changing his trousers. Especially if how those girls are blushing is anything to go by.
Albert: *blushes as he opens the door*
Ernie: *under his breath* dear God I'm starting to wish Léon had killed you.
Frankie: *gets in after Ernie* but then your brother would be turning up to meet his future wife smelling of sick and looking all...desperate. *raps on roof that they can leave*
Ernie: and you didn't think to bring me a change of clothes?
Frankie: are you meeting your fiancée?
Ernie: *folds arms* *grumpy cat face* no.
Frankie: then why'd you ask.
Ernie: because now we look-
Frankie: like the asshole and his debonair little brother? That's the look I was going for.
*quadrangle of Windsor Castle* *the coach stops* *Queen Victoria and Dowager Queen Adelaide are both standing there with the entire household* *the Duchess of Kent stands off to the side* *separated from her daughter by Queen Adelaide, Princess Ida, Prince Bernhard and Princess Feodore* *arranged on the "opposite side" to Kent is Prince William of Weimar and his new wife, Princess Marie Amélie of Baden*
Footman: *opens the carriage door* Their Serene Highnesses, Princes Ernst and Albert of Coburg and Gotha
*Ernst climbs out first* *slight murmur at him still being in his travelling clothes* *followed by Albert* *clearly dressed for the occasion*
Adelaide: *disapprovingly to Ida in German* *but loud enough that Victoria can hear her* thank God one of them has some sense.
Ida: the insult of attending the queen still dressed in clothes soiled from the journey.
Adelaide: *quieter* thank God its the right one in the right clothes.
Ernst: *removes hat* *bows*
Albert: *remains erect* *although removes his hat*
Ernst: *grabs at his brother's arm desperately trying to pull him down*
Albert: *simply ducks his head to Victoria*
Adelaide: well, sister, this game just got very interesting.
Victoria: *after Albert has kissed her hand* *not by bending over it* *but by raising it to his lips* is there someone else in your carriage?
Ernst: my equerry, your Majesty. Like myself, his luggage was left behind at Calais. So he is unfortunately not fit to be seen.
Victoria: *shrewdly* call him out, I won't mind. He will have to follow you inside anyway.
Ernst: your Majesty, I really must protest, he is unfo-
Frankie: *steps down from the coach in one of his natty suits - perhaps even "matching" with Albert's*
Footman: *looks confused*
Frankie: *out of side mouth* *gives title*
Footman: Francis, Count of Formbach!
Frankie: *strides towards welcoming party like no thing's amiss* *ignoring the shocked look of the older generation* *stops short in front of Queen Victoria* *then sweeps off his hat and bows to kiss her hand your Majesty, what man is brave enough to refuse a summons from the Queen of Great Britain and Ireland herself.
Victoria: you are very bold duke. First at my coronation and now here. Both times without an invitation.
Frankie: *holds hat over his heart* *head still bowed* I only wished to convey my utmost respect and admiration for your Majesty who has been so indulgent.
Victoria: *offers her arm to Ernst to head inside*
Frankie: *trips Ernst* *pushes Albert forward instead*
Victoria: *smiles politely as Albert offers his arm* *rest of the court follows indoors*
Ernst: *hissing to Frankie as he climbs up* what are you doing?
Frankie: *no answer* *sees Ernst is about to say something* this is what me ignoring you looks like. *falls in with Ernst* [4]
*cut to dinner* *conversation changes direction with course* *Victoria is very surprised to find that Frankie speaks fluent English [5]
Victoria: and you, your Serene Highness, how did you find Paris?
Frankie: well, your Majesty, I was there only so briefly. But it is much changed since I last saw it.
Victoria: was it very difficult for you to see it?
Frankie: not especially. Would your Majesty not be horrified to leave London and not be back for a quarter century, but find that everything was exactly as you had left it?
Victoria: I do not think I should mind that at all, sir.
Frankie: while I am a firm believer in not changing for the sake of change, Majesty, I do believe that stagnation is synonymous with decay. I need only to look at what my father did to a once great city in Venice.
Victoria: and from what I hear, you seem to have taken it as a pet to set things back to as they were?
Frankie: not to what they were, Majesty, I am no Prince Metternich who wishes to fix the clock at a certain point in time forever; nor am I some Peter the Great in attempting to wrench open the curtains to let the light of modernity in. I simply wish for Venice to take her rightful place in the modern world as befits a city once called the Queen of the Adriatic.
Victoria: and what of your school for princesses? I hear that it is quite novel.
Frankie: novel only in the sense that it was not planned for, your Majesty. It just...sort of happened.
Victoria: do you think young women should be educated in such a manner.
Frankie: your Majesty, I do not share my father's sentiments on a woman in that she is only to be a womb. True, she is a daughter, a wife and a mother, but that is no reason to give her an education in only deportment and dancing- I mean no offense- but in the event that a king should die while his heir is still underage, in most kingdoms, the mother is to be regent. Should the king be absent or unwell, the wife is to be regent. And as the Dowager Queen of Spain has so recently demonstrated, a woman who is regent, but left without a decent education beyond to be a mother or a wife is chaos for a kingdom [6]
Victoria: you don't think it will inspire many young women to opt like Queen Elizabeth to remain unmarried.
Frankie: is that what you wish for, your Majesty?
Victoria: you are very impertinent.
Frankie: that is not the worst thing I've been called.
Victoria: my uncle calls you murderer. He says not even your father went so far. Asks whether you are Bonaparte or Borgia.
Frankie: *reaches for wine glass* I wonder if he would have expressed the same view had my brother been the one to murder me? Or would he, your Majesty and the rest of Europe simply breathed a sigh of relief?
Victoria: you do not seem bothered by my uncle's opinion of you.
Frankie: as I explained to Prince Albert *looks at the duchess of Kent talking to Ernst* in Italy it is every young person's right to believe his father is wrong. But the young person is always wrong about why his father is wrong. Your father stands by a tradition that the young man believes is stupid, but the young man attacks it in a manner that is equally stupid. [7].
*next morning* *Ernst is in a sitting room giving Albert a lecture* *it sounds more like he's simply reiterating a set of instructions from Coburg* *reminders to Albert about what he should and should not do*
*door opens* *Frankie enters*
Frankie: its a miracle you Coburgs find time to do anything. Every time I look at you, whether it's you or Ferdinand or your uncle, no doubt, whenever I look you're having a chinwag.
Ernst: *looks at Frankie* this is a family matter, I don't recall inviting you.
Frankie: *stares Ernst down* I was on my way back to London, and then on the packet bound for Bremen, seems La Petite's uncle in Hannover has granted me safe passage since France has closed its ports to me and no doubt your uncle will not allow me to pass through Belgium.
Ernst: well, have a safe flight, Mephistopheles.
Frankie: I've decided. I really don't like you. *steps past to Albert* *they have a "manly hug"* don't listen to Ernst. I read your uncle's instructions while you were sleeping and if you behave like that, she will send you on the same packet as me to Bremen. Your uncle's words wouldn't have seduced a woman in 1815 forget nearly twenty-five years later. This isn't something that you need instructions for Albrecht...certainly not from an old geezer like that. A woman doesn't want to marry a man who knows everything about her. It makes you look as if you have nothing to do with your time but keep up with her latest activities in the paper. I know Ernst probably believes that you have a cuckoo-clock where your heart should be, but I know differently. From what she told me at dinner last night about what you've written to her...it certainly sounds as though she believes that too. To go and bore her to tears by reciting your uncle's instructions will just scare her away.
Ernst: *clears throat* uh, considering that you have a boat to catch, maybe you should get going. And leave the dynastic politics to those of us who actually have five hundred years experience doing this?
Frankie: *snarkily* this coming from the man who thought that the best way to "teach your brother about women" was to drag him with to a whorehouse? Because if he's like you, then you'd understand him?
Ernst: *shocked at Albert* you told him that?
Frankie: your reaction just did. And then you want to say I'm disgusting? *looks at Ernst* you're no better than a swine because you had a brother who looked up to you, idolized you, worshipped you...I'd have loved it if any of my brothers had done that to me-
Ernst: now we know why you killed him.
Frankie: as I said to her Majesty last night, I wonder if your uncle would be so quick to bestow the name Borgia on my brother had he killed me. Or would you have crowned him with laurel and hailed him as a conqueror? *holds Albert by the shoulders* if you want to be king of England, you'll ignore your uncle. You'll ignore me. You'll ignore your brother. She is the only thing you need to pay any attention to. The only one that matters.
Albert: *nods*
Frankie: in peace nothing becomes a man so much as modest silence and humility, but when the blast of war blows in our ears, then imitate the action of the tiger, stiffen the sinews and summon up the blood[8].
*walks out of room*
*fade to black*
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[1] from the drinking song The Little Barley Corne: "It is the cunning'st alchemist that e'er was in the land, who takes his metals when it lists, in a turning of the hand; your blushing gold to silver wan, your silver into brass; will turn a tailor [i.e. a coward/someone unmanly] to a man, and a man into an ass"
[2] pretty much OTL. Was something that made a poor "first impression" on the English public when the news got out that Albert was a bad sailor. Apparently, he was still wearing the sick-stained waistcoat when he was first presented to Victoria (his and Ernie's luggage got delayed/mislaid on the road from Dover or at Calais (ICR which)
[3] fair winds and following seas
[4] Frankie and Ernst's animosity is not that unlikely. Ernie is the "protective big brother" who sees Frankie as the "bad influence" on Albert. To him, Bertie is still the little brother who can't wipe his own arse, who needs to be cajoled and scolded into behaving properly (much like you see with parents who can't accept their kid is "all grown up"). Frankie, OTOH - having just killed his own brother - sees Ernie as a failure of a brother for not foreseeing things like that Bertie would get seasick or that he would just be willing to let his brother blunder into this meeting wearing his sick-stained travelling clothes.
[5] according to Montbel's biography of Frankie "at age 10, he was learning Latin, Greek, Italian, English, Czech, Hungarian and French, religion, ancient literature, strategy and tactics, geography, natural sciences, chemistry, physics, drawing and music". It's stands to reason that even if he sucked at it at school, Henri de Chambord and Albert both speaking fluent English probably helped him "brush up"
[6] Frankie is not being some feminist here as a sort of late-rebellion to his father, this is him noting how dangerous it can be to not educate a girl that she has absolutely no knowledge of how things work. Isabel II was a key example of this, OTL she had zero concept of money. She heard a sad story from a courtier, she ordered the courtier be given some amount of money. The other courtiers were horrified at this. When Isabel came back to her apartments, there were gold coins - ten deep - piled on every available surface of that. When she asked what it was all about, they told her that this was the (insane) amount of money she had just ordered be paid to the courtier. She was also taken advantage of by a religious fraud named Sister Patrocinio, who gained a hold over the queen by claiming "Jesus spoke to me" and exhibiting the marks of the (self-inflicted) stigmata. Both of these anecdotes point to a woman with a very bad education.
[7] Frankie is not talking about Victoria and her mother, or himself and his mother, but rather this was probably said to Albert when he was being stuffy in Italy about how his dad treated his mom. It's Frankie saying "we all judge our parents, but our reasons for judging them are often as stupid as the reasons we judge them for"
[8] Henry V, Act III Scene I. Frankie quoting it to Albert isn't him likening marriage to warfare, but he's essentially saying to Albert: woman like that wants/needs a man, not a wimp. Show her that you're on her side. That you'll fight for her. Even if it looks like a suicide mission because you're going against every rule that you're uncle drilled into you
*exterior* *cliffs of Dover* *zoom in on two gentlemen climbing the stairs to the pier*
Gentleman #1: *groans* what are you doing here, the sun is out!
Frankie: *nonchalantly puffing on a cigarette as he leans against the carriage* it's nice to see you to...Ernie. *you can tell he doesn't mean it*
Ernie a.k.a. Ernst of Coburg: I mean it, what are you doing here.
Frankie: *looks at Albert's sick stained waistcoat*[2] don't worry, my crossing wasn't so great either. -There's clean clothes for you in the carriage.
Albert: *smiles weakly* *looks like he's about to be sick again*
Frankie: *as Albert gets in the coach* there's white hellebore in the box on the seat.
Ernie: *distastefully* aren't you just the ray of sunshine.
Albert: *weakly* Ernst
Frankie: your brother gets sea-sick going too fast down a Vienna street in a well-sprung carriage, your uncle didn't think that maybe this would happen. Where's your luggage? Servants? Footman?
Albert: still in Calais. They realized on arriving that *vomits into the street*
Frankie: better out than in is what I said when Amalie had morning sickness.
Ernie: *gives a "for the love of god" look* does that apply to your little bastards as well?
Frankie: well, on the subject of bastards...most of you Coburgs are proof of what happens when you hold in a fart. *closes carriage door so Albert can change*
Ernie: and what of the Bonapartes?
Frankie: like poisonous mushrooms. Indigestible, unpalatable and deadly.
Ernie: like murder your own brother deadly. Very Corsican vendetta
Frankie: *icily* you know anyone else who could do it in public, in broad daylight and get cheered for it. *normal voice* You asked why I'm here? I was asked to leave Paris because girls are mailing me their underwear and Le Grand Mogul was having a shortage as a result.
Ernie: *looks at Frankie like he's completely bonkers*
Frankie: the better question is why you're here.
Ernie: we were both invited.
Frankie: *looks Ernie up and down disdainfully* pity. Now he looks weak. Like he needs a nurse to run after him, hold his hand.
Ernie: and you wouldn't have done that.
Frankie: *snorts* course not. Albert's big enough, old enough and by God ugly enough to decide to get his dick pierced by himself, what does he need me for?
Ernie: *looks at Albert through the coach window* you what?
Albert: *now looking slightly more "dignified"* don't start with me Ernie. It's all you, Papa and Uncle Leopold have been doing for the last week. And I'm sick of it.
Ernie: well, then how about I get onto the boat to leave at next tide
Frankie: *evil smile* ave atque vale [3]
Albert: *pokes head out of coach window* that goes for you too, Frankie. I've had to spend the better part of the last week defending you from being called a murderer.
Frankie: you should've let them. I don't mind.
Albert: you're my commanding officer *clearly getting dressed while speaking* how would that have looked?
Frankie: while I'm...very touched that you could display such...affection and loyalty, I'd prefer it if you'd saved it up for La Petite. Mean, we should probably just reschedule now that you blew your load on my behalf.
Ernie: *looks at Frankie and Albert* *to Frankie* you're disgusting.
Frankie: and you're obviously an acquired case. Although I'm guessing your brother just flashed anybody in the houses facing us, since he forgot to close the shutters when changing his trousers. Especially if how those girls are blushing is anything to go by.
Albert: *blushes as he opens the door*
Ernie: *under his breath* dear God I'm starting to wish Léon had killed you.
Frankie: *gets in after Ernie* but then your brother would be turning up to meet his future wife smelling of sick and looking all...desperate. *raps on roof that they can leave*
Ernie: and you didn't think to bring me a change of clothes?
Frankie: are you meeting your fiancée?
Ernie: *folds arms* *grumpy cat face* no.
Frankie: then why'd you ask.
Ernie: because now we look-
Frankie: like the asshole and his debonair little brother? That's the look I was going for.
*quadrangle of Windsor Castle* *the coach stops* *Queen Victoria and Dowager Queen Adelaide are both standing there with the entire household* *the Duchess of Kent stands off to the side* *separated from her daughter by Queen Adelaide, Princess Ida, Prince Bernhard and Princess Feodore* *arranged on the "opposite side" to Kent is Prince William of Weimar and his new wife, Princess Marie Amélie of Baden*
Footman: *opens the carriage door* Their Serene Highnesses, Princes Ernst and Albert of Coburg and Gotha
*Ernst climbs out first* *slight murmur at him still being in his travelling clothes* *followed by Albert* *clearly dressed for the occasion*
Adelaide: *disapprovingly to Ida in German* *but loud enough that Victoria can hear her* thank God one of them has some sense.
Ida: the insult of attending the queen still dressed in clothes soiled from the journey.
Adelaide: *quieter* thank God its the right one in the right clothes.
Ernst: *removes hat* *bows*
Albert: *remains erect* *although removes his hat*
Ernst: *grabs at his brother's arm desperately trying to pull him down*
Albert: *simply ducks his head to Victoria*
Adelaide: well, sister, this game just got very interesting.
Victoria: *after Albert has kissed her hand* *not by bending over it* *but by raising it to his lips* is there someone else in your carriage?
Ernst: my equerry, your Majesty. Like myself, his luggage was left behind at Calais. So he is unfortunately not fit to be seen.
Victoria: *shrewdly* call him out, I won't mind. He will have to follow you inside anyway.
Ernst: your Majesty, I really must protest, he is unfo-
Frankie: *steps down from the coach in one of his natty suits - perhaps even "matching" with Albert's*
Footman: *looks confused*
Frankie: *out of side mouth* *gives title*
Footman: Francis, Count of Formbach!
Frankie: *strides towards welcoming party like no thing's amiss* *ignoring the shocked look of the older generation* *stops short in front of Queen Victoria* *then sweeps off his hat and bows to kiss her hand your Majesty, what man is brave enough to refuse a summons from the Queen of Great Britain and Ireland herself.
Victoria: you are very bold duke. First at my coronation and now here. Both times without an invitation.
Frankie: *holds hat over his heart* *head still bowed* I only wished to convey my utmost respect and admiration for your Majesty who has been so indulgent.
Victoria: *offers her arm to Ernst to head inside*
Frankie: *trips Ernst* *pushes Albert forward instead*
Victoria: *smiles politely as Albert offers his arm* *rest of the court follows indoors*
Ernst: *hissing to Frankie as he climbs up* what are you doing?
Frankie: *no answer* *sees Ernst is about to say something* this is what me ignoring you looks like. *falls in with Ernst* [4]
*cut to dinner* *conversation changes direction with course* *Victoria is very surprised to find that Frankie speaks fluent English [5]
Victoria: and you, your Serene Highness, how did you find Paris?
Frankie: well, your Majesty, I was there only so briefly. But it is much changed since I last saw it.
Victoria: was it very difficult for you to see it?
Frankie: not especially. Would your Majesty not be horrified to leave London and not be back for a quarter century, but find that everything was exactly as you had left it?
Victoria: I do not think I should mind that at all, sir.
Frankie: while I am a firm believer in not changing for the sake of change, Majesty, I do believe that stagnation is synonymous with decay. I need only to look at what my father did to a once great city in Venice.
Victoria: and from what I hear, you seem to have taken it as a pet to set things back to as they were?
Frankie: not to what they were, Majesty, I am no Prince Metternich who wishes to fix the clock at a certain point in time forever; nor am I some Peter the Great in attempting to wrench open the curtains to let the light of modernity in. I simply wish for Venice to take her rightful place in the modern world as befits a city once called the Queen of the Adriatic.
Victoria: and what of your school for princesses? I hear that it is quite novel.
Frankie: novel only in the sense that it was not planned for, your Majesty. It just...sort of happened.
Victoria: do you think young women should be educated in such a manner.
Frankie: your Majesty, I do not share my father's sentiments on a woman in that she is only to be a womb. True, she is a daughter, a wife and a mother, but that is no reason to give her an education in only deportment and dancing- I mean no offense- but in the event that a king should die while his heir is still underage, in most kingdoms, the mother is to be regent. Should the king be absent or unwell, the wife is to be regent. And as the Dowager Queen of Spain has so recently demonstrated, a woman who is regent, but left without a decent education beyond to be a mother or a wife is chaos for a kingdom [6]
Victoria: you don't think it will inspire many young women to opt like Queen Elizabeth to remain unmarried.
Frankie: is that what you wish for, your Majesty?
Victoria: you are very impertinent.
Frankie: that is not the worst thing I've been called.
Victoria: my uncle calls you murderer. He says not even your father went so far. Asks whether you are Bonaparte or Borgia.
Frankie: *reaches for wine glass* I wonder if he would have expressed the same view had my brother been the one to murder me? Or would he, your Majesty and the rest of Europe simply breathed a sigh of relief?
Victoria: you do not seem bothered by my uncle's opinion of you.
Frankie: as I explained to Prince Albert *looks at the duchess of Kent talking to Ernst* in Italy it is every young person's right to believe his father is wrong. But the young person is always wrong about why his father is wrong. Your father stands by a tradition that the young man believes is stupid, but the young man attacks it in a manner that is equally stupid. [7].
*next morning* *Ernst is in a sitting room giving Albert a lecture* *it sounds more like he's simply reiterating a set of instructions from Coburg* *reminders to Albert about what he should and should not do*
*door opens* *Frankie enters*
Frankie: its a miracle you Coburgs find time to do anything. Every time I look at you, whether it's you or Ferdinand or your uncle, no doubt, whenever I look you're having a chinwag.
Ernst: *looks at Frankie* this is a family matter, I don't recall inviting you.
Frankie: *stares Ernst down* I was on my way back to London, and then on the packet bound for Bremen, seems La Petite's uncle in Hannover has granted me safe passage since France has closed its ports to me and no doubt your uncle will not allow me to pass through Belgium.
Ernst: well, have a safe flight, Mephistopheles.
Frankie: I've decided. I really don't like you. *steps past to Albert* *they have a "manly hug"* don't listen to Ernst. I read your uncle's instructions while you were sleeping and if you behave like that, she will send you on the same packet as me to Bremen. Your uncle's words wouldn't have seduced a woman in 1815 forget nearly twenty-five years later. This isn't something that you need instructions for Albrecht...certainly not from an old geezer like that. A woman doesn't want to marry a man who knows everything about her. It makes you look as if you have nothing to do with your time but keep up with her latest activities in the paper. I know Ernst probably believes that you have a cuckoo-clock where your heart should be, but I know differently. From what she told me at dinner last night about what you've written to her...it certainly sounds as though she believes that too. To go and bore her to tears by reciting your uncle's instructions will just scare her away.
Ernst: *clears throat* uh, considering that you have a boat to catch, maybe you should get going. And leave the dynastic politics to those of us who actually have five hundred years experience doing this?
Frankie: *snarkily* this coming from the man who thought that the best way to "teach your brother about women" was to drag him with to a whorehouse? Because if he's like you, then you'd understand him?
Ernst: *shocked at Albert* you told him that?
Frankie: your reaction just did. And then you want to say I'm disgusting? *looks at Ernst* you're no better than a swine because you had a brother who looked up to you, idolized you, worshipped you...I'd have loved it if any of my brothers had done that to me-
Ernst: now we know why you killed him.
Frankie: as I said to her Majesty last night, I wonder if your uncle would be so quick to bestow the name Borgia on my brother had he killed me. Or would you have crowned him with laurel and hailed him as a conqueror? *holds Albert by the shoulders* if you want to be king of England, you'll ignore your uncle. You'll ignore me. You'll ignore your brother. She is the only thing you need to pay any attention to. The only one that matters.
Albert: *nods*
Frankie: in peace nothing becomes a man so much as modest silence and humility, but when the blast of war blows in our ears, then imitate the action of the tiger, stiffen the sinews and summon up the blood[8].
*walks out of room*
*fade to black*
@The_Most_Happy @isabella @VVD0D95 @Jan Olbracht @Ramontxo @HortenseMancini @Anarch King of Dipsodes @Dragonboy @kaiidth @SavoyTruffle @Wendell @nathanael1234 @Fehérvári
[1] from the drinking song The Little Barley Corne: "It is the cunning'st alchemist that e'er was in the land, who takes his metals when it lists, in a turning of the hand; your blushing gold to silver wan, your silver into brass; will turn a tailor [i.e. a coward/someone unmanly] to a man, and a man into an ass"
[2] pretty much OTL. Was something that made a poor "first impression" on the English public when the news got out that Albert was a bad sailor. Apparently, he was still wearing the sick-stained waistcoat when he was first presented to Victoria (his and Ernie's luggage got delayed/mislaid on the road from Dover or at Calais (ICR which)
[3] fair winds and following seas
[4] Frankie and Ernst's animosity is not that unlikely. Ernie is the "protective big brother" who sees Frankie as the "bad influence" on Albert. To him, Bertie is still the little brother who can't wipe his own arse, who needs to be cajoled and scolded into behaving properly (much like you see with parents who can't accept their kid is "all grown up"). Frankie, OTOH - having just killed his own brother - sees Ernie as a failure of a brother for not foreseeing things like that Bertie would get seasick or that he would just be willing to let his brother blunder into this meeting wearing his sick-stained travelling clothes.
[5] according to Montbel's biography of Frankie "at age 10, he was learning Latin, Greek, Italian, English, Czech, Hungarian and French, religion, ancient literature, strategy and tactics, geography, natural sciences, chemistry, physics, drawing and music". It's stands to reason that even if he sucked at it at school, Henri de Chambord and Albert both speaking fluent English probably helped him "brush up"
[6] Frankie is not being some feminist here as a sort of late-rebellion to his father, this is him noting how dangerous it can be to not educate a girl that she has absolutely no knowledge of how things work. Isabel II was a key example of this, OTL she had zero concept of money. She heard a sad story from a courtier, she ordered the courtier be given some amount of money. The other courtiers were horrified at this. When Isabel came back to her apartments, there were gold coins - ten deep - piled on every available surface of that. When she asked what it was all about, they told her that this was the (insane) amount of money she had just ordered be paid to the courtier. She was also taken advantage of by a religious fraud named Sister Patrocinio, who gained a hold over the queen by claiming "Jesus spoke to me" and exhibiting the marks of the (self-inflicted) stigmata. Both of these anecdotes point to a woman with a very bad education.
[7] Frankie is not talking about Victoria and her mother, or himself and his mother, but rather this was probably said to Albert when he was being stuffy in Italy about how his dad treated his mom. It's Frankie saying "we all judge our parents, but our reasons for judging them are often as stupid as the reasons we judge them for"
[8] Henry V, Act III Scene I. Frankie quoting it to Albert isn't him likening marriage to warfare, but he's essentially saying to Albert: woman like that wants/needs a man, not a wimp. Show her that you're on her side. That you'll fight for her. Even if it looks like a suicide mission because you're going against every rule that you're uncle drilled into you
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might've been praying. After all, if there's a chance you're going to die, lotta people want to know that they've got a good word with Upstairs Management. Perhaps was just asking forgiveness for what he might have to do.
Thank you. Figured his use of Maria Cristina as a vehicle instead of villifying his mother or the Duchess of Kent prevents him from looking "overly partial", or worse seemingly going boohoohoo my mommy didn't love me either. Although, in all honesty, Frankie is a bit like Bruce Wayne (in the whole adopting kids part, although he's far better at the parenting bit than Bruce is) : are your parents dead? Do you have a miserable home life? Call this number and become my new Robin.
Seriously, look at who Frankie's "wards" are. Their dads are dead (Henri, Louise, Maria II of Portugal, Victoria), their moms are terrible (Stephan, Victoria), disgraced (Henri, Frankie) or dead (both Albrechts, Maria II and her sisters, Carolina and Augusta of Tuscany). The Ca'Rezzonico is basically Wayne Manor minus the batcave and Amélie de Beauharnais is the Alfred Pennyworth.
Thanks. I noticed that in all the usual cinematic depictions Albert comes across in a way that you ask Shakespeare's question from Richard III: was any woman ever like this woo'd? Was any woman like this ever won? Albert either sounds like he's been stalking Vicky on Facebook or he's just answering questions on an insurance form. Either he looks like he doesn't want to be there, or he looks about as emotional as a high school biology student about to dissect a frog. Frankie knows Bertie better (and really, Ernst should too, but Ernie's shilling for his uncle so is likely driving down his own opinions - something he struggled to do OTL). He's been following this "adventure" closely. Now that he's spoken to Victoria himself, he's sort of got a feel for her. And, if he thought she'd like a little clockwork prince he'd likely have refrained from intervening. But as much as Ernie might dislike Frankie, the point that "least I didn't try to make him a mini-me" underlines the fact that the Coburgs are really the ones telling Albert when to sit, sleep and shit (see the hold in a fart joke). Frankie doesn't do that. In fact, the reading Leopold's instructions might be the only time he's ever read Albert's mail (and TBF it was probably addressed to Ernst, so doesn't count). I'm imagining that Frankie's knowledge of Victoria-Albert is more like Albert writing a response to a letter, getting stuck and going to Frankie like "what do I say?" Frankie reads Vicky's letter and then Albert's response. Maybe suggests Albert take this line out or expand here. Bit like a secretary rather than a CEO. So Vicky-Albert's relationship has definitely grown more organically than where Albert had to OTL write what Stockmar dictated to him or his secretary in Coburg would read all his mail to keep Leopold informed on his nephew's ideas and who he was talking to about what.
Is it weird of me to imagine that Albert violates protocol and proposes to Victoria? Not because he doesn't understand or know about it, but because it comes back to "be a man, not a spaniel". Even more hilariously would be if he blurts it out while he and Victoria are out riding. Does anyone know if she hunted? I know Albert did, and I know she rode, but I can't recall reading that she ever went hunting. I was imagining this scene where either the hunt breaks for lunch and Albert blurts it out it out as he helps her down from the horse. Or he's just shot the deer, and he gets down off his horse, cuts off the left hind hoof as a trophy (know this was custom in France, not sure in England) and when he offers her the trophy, instead of saying the words about being honored to present this prize to her Majesty, he sort of blurts in front of everyone "will you marry me". Cue her giving him the maidenly brush-off, the other members of the party laugh a bit, but at least it gets around the awkward scene of OTL where they were basically too tongue-tied to get it out. She needed to propose to him (as queen) but she had to do it without compromising her modesty as a lady, so the whole scene was very awkward/unromantic. Added to the fact that he stood there like a statue the whole time... Here, while she still has to propose, he's made the first move and makes it "easier" for her. Her blushes are spared by the fact that she doesn't look forward by simply repeating his question.
@The_Most_Happy @VVD0D95
A contemporary British cartoon/rhyme of Frankie is the guise of a sultan, abducting the still unwed Queen Victoria:
Once there was a sultan, who lived in old Baghdad.
He lived there in a palace, twas the only one he had.
Of course he had a harem, withat least a thousand wives,
And they had to tell him stories,
Otherwise they lost their lives
He doesn't only choose a wife for beaufy or for grace,
He likes her intellectual, as well as fair of face,
He likes good conversation,
But when he rings his bell,
She'd better have something else to fall back on as well.
Sometimes he finds it difficult
Remembering all their names
There are so many problems living with so many dames.
Like stockings drying the bath,
Several hundred pairs,
To say nothing of the Turkish towels clearly labelled his and theirs
His wives are sometimes very good,
And sometimes very bad,
And if a wife should die then he's always very sad
But later at the funeral, he finds it such a bore.
They say he often stays at the church and marries seven more.
He has a different wife for every hour of the night,
Except the hour of six o'clock,
When its just getting light.
That's when he tries to sleep or even take a nap,
And dream of the girl he'll steal
To bridge that little gap.
I was sitting with his favourite,
The wife he loves the best...
She was knitting baby booties so it wasn't hard to guess.
She looked so slim,
How long had she been expecting I inquired,
She said well only in half an hour,
But don't he make you tired?
Once there was a sultan, who lived in old Baghdad.
He lived there in a palace, twas the only one he had.
Of course he had a harem, withat least a thousand wives,
And they had to tell him stories,
Otherwise they lost their lives
He doesn't only choose a wife for beaufy or for grace,
He likes her intellectual, as well as fair of face,
He likes good conversation,
But when he rings his bell,
She'd better have something else to fall back on as well.
Sometimes he finds it difficult
Remembering all their names
There are so many problems living with so many dames.
Like stockings drying the bath,
Several hundred pairs,
To say nothing of the Turkish towels clearly labelled his and theirs
His wives are sometimes very good,
And sometimes very bad,
And if a wife should die then he's always very sad
But later at the funeral, he finds it such a bore.
They say he often stays at the church and marries seven more.
He has a different wife for every hour of the night,
Except the hour of six o'clock,
When its just getting light.
That's when he tries to sleep or even take a nap,
And dream of the girl he'll steal
To bridge that little gap.
I was sitting with his favourite,
The wife he loves the best...
She was knitting baby booties so it wasn't hard to guess.
She looked so slim,
How long had she been expecting I inquired,
She said well only in half an hour,
But don't he make you tired?
The Mists of Islay
Soundtrack: Franz Xaver Süssmaye: Sinfonia Turchesca in C Major
*exterior* *we see the bustling port of Bremen* *Frankie is strolling casually along the waterfront, whistling Wenn Aller Untreu Werden[1]*
*Carriage rattles into the square, Standeisky is driving* *another man, Baron von Moll, is inside*
Frankie: *doesn't even look up until Moll's practically jogging alongside him* ah, Baron...good of you to join me-
Moll: there is urgent news, sir.
Frankie: the duc d'Orléans is once more pissed that the duke of Wellington didn't have me shot?
Moll: well, that too, sir.
Frankie: Mr Peel would've. And no doubt Lord Melbourne will. Arthur is, fortunately, a gentleman, not a brute. Why we had several long discussions about my father and about Waterloo while I was in London. Do you know how odd it is that Sir Hudson [Lowe] was even willing to receive me?[2]
Moll: of course, sir, but that's not-
Frankie: Prince Metternich has got people spying on me? I made the tail about an hour ago when I left the Padagogisch-Institut[3]. I stopped and asked him for directions to the Gansemarkt-theater. Which he provided.
Moll: how helpful of him
Frankie: the Gansemarkt-theater is in Hamburg, Baron. Any Bremener would've known that.
Moll: I did not know that, sir.
Frankie: neither did he. Now...since neither of my guesses are why you are here, spare me the torture and tell me.
Moll: the sultan has died.
Frankie: which sultan. Egypt? Persia- no Persia has a shah -India? Morocco? Oman?
Moll: the sultan, sir. Mahmud.
Frankie: I see. Who's next up? His brother?
Moll: all dead sir.
Frankie: so his son?
Moll: yes sir. But the boy is only just turned sixteen. And the Ottomans are at war with Egypt. Again. And the French king has offered his support to the Egyptians to take Syria and Lebanon, and-
Frankie: and a boy like my cousin's [4] is likely to be easy pickings for a man like Muhammed Ali- *walking back to coach* I swear, Baron, there was something in the water in 1769. Wellington, my father, Muhammed Ali...*notes that his cases are already packed on the back* you knew I'd want to leave as soon as I heard? Either I'm growing predictable, or you are becoming concerningly competent, Jean-Charles. *climbs into coach*
Moll: I suspected you would react to this by ordering us to leave.
Frankie: *nods as Moll gets in*
Moll: you forgot Humboldt, sir. *closes door*
Frankie: pardon?
Moll: great men born in 1769. Alexander von Humboldt was born that year as well.
Frankie: *picking up copy of Nicholas Nickleby as coach starts moving* so he was. I see you brought me a present. *holds up letter* *sniffs it* smells like a certain empress.
Moll: it arrived shortly after you left sir. Along with the letter concerning events in Constantinople.
Frankie: *opens letter and scans it*
Moll: anything worrying sir.
Frankie: *folds letter up and puts it pack in the book* *then closes the book* it would seem that the French king's recent pairing of the Prince de Joinville with Mademoiselle Janvière is causing the Brasilian senate to start looking for a bride for my cousin, Pierre [Pedro II].
Moll: any suggestions as to whom, sir?
Frankie: apparently the plan to start in Paris. Mademoiselle Janvière has already extolled the virtues of the duc de Cadix's daughters.
Moll: you do not sound concerned by it?
Frankie: have you met the duc's daughters? *folds down desk inside door* *takes out a sheet of paper and a pencil* *draws three columns on the page* *labels the latter two "pro" and "con". Those girls are nearly entirely in the "con" column except for their whole "French proxy" status. Orléans will certainly not grant them a dowry of any means. Next for a bride *pencils in names* the Spanish will consider the sisters of the King of Sicily. Maria Amelia and Maria Carolina are too old. Teresa Cristina...well...I doubt anyone would choose her if they'd met her. Parma has nobody. And his sister has nobody. However...his sister does have a charming little step-granddaughter [5] who happens to be Sopherl's niece. So charming, in fact, that the French were looking at her for Henri de Chambord.
Moll: didn't the czar offer his daughter for Henri?
Frankie: the czar can offer his daughter until he's blue in the face. Madame Royal has set her face against it. And I see no reason to persuade her at this point.
Moll: *nods*
Frankie: then we go to the daughter of Prince Vasa's ex-girlfriend, Princess Charlotte of Prussia. She's Protestant, so she'd have to convert - and given the current king of Prussia's religious views, I don't see that as being likely - but she's rich. Pierre needs a rich wife. *marks it in the pro column* but she'll only be able to marry in four years time. I'm not sure Brasil has the patience to wait for it *marks in the con column*. Still, connections to the Netherlands, Russia and Prussia could be enough of a temptation to them to wait *pro column*, and a daughter being an empress is a lucrative offer to allow her to convert *pro con*. I'll speak to Adalbert [of Prussia] when I return to Venice.
Moll: what about the Princess Marie of Prussia, sir?
Frankie: she's slated for Ernst of Coburg.
Moll: you haven't let that stop you before, sir, and you did mention that he was rather rude to you in England.
Frankie: I am not my father who fucks people over just because they happen to not like him. *still, he scribbles Marie in* although I can't think what advantage she'd bring to Brasil aside from her age *notes it in pro column* Moving from Prussia down...*glazed look as he tries to recall* Marie of Darmstadt is illegitimate, won't be difficult to send her there, but Brasil will view it as an insult. Down to Bavaria...Adelgunde, Hildegarde and Alexandrine...Adelgunde the king of Sardinia is already expressing an interest in for his younger son, the duke of Genoa. So leaves Hildi and Addy.
Moll: wasn't there some concern about Alexandrine's health, sir?
Frankie: I'd have to talk to Sopherl about it, it may have just been an excuse to not send her to Württemberg. -back down to Italy. Sardinia has nobody, Adele is already promised to D. Fernando [6]. Modena has nobody. Tuscany...Augusta can work well, sister-in-law to the Comte de Montizon. Pretty. Intelligent. Vivacious. *pro column* Dowry will be a problem though. *con column* Karoline of Teschen won't have the dowry problem, but if the Brasilian court knows of her sister's temper, they might not take a look. Still- did I leave anyone out?
Moll: Archduchess Sopherl's niece, sir? Helene?
Frankie: the one she wants to pair Franzi with?
Moll: that one sir. It would be a fine way of removing the girl from your plans for your cousin without the archduchess being able to complain.
Frankie: *taps pencil on chin* dowry will be a problem. I don't see the Bavarians agreeing to endorse a niece when they would want to have Hildegarde or Alexandrine carry off the prize. Not to mention how young she is. Nearly a whole decade younger than him. Won't be able to marry by at least 1848.
Moll: true. Although I had heard that the Archduchess was rather set on thi-
Frankie: *does face palm* I asked you if we had everyone and you forget Carola *scribbles Carola Vasa on the page*
Moll: she is Protestant sir, and she's only a few months apart in age from Helene...I didn't see the point in mentioning it.
Frankie: *soberly* and Gustaf is hardly in a fit state to talk this over with him now- just lost his father, poor man.
Moll: it was good of you to try to persuade the king of Sweden to let his father be buried in Stockholm, sir.
Frankie: didn't do me much good. Bernadotte wrote back only to piss on me.
Moll: still, at least the man and his wife were both buried in the Oldenburg Mausoleum. Hopefully one day, they can be returned to Stockholm.
Frankie: hopefully.
Moll: forgive my impertinence, sir, but do you ever consider your father's grave?
Frankie: on Saint Helena?
Moll: *nods* after your visit to Sir Hudson, I was wondering if perhaps you had some sort of inkling about it.
Frankie: I did not disinter my grandfather from Ajaccio to lay him alongside my grandmother. I will not disturb my father's grave in the South Atlantic to bring him back to Europe so everyone can see it to remind me of how I'm not him.
Moll: I only ask because the king of France has ordered that Comte Léon be buried at Les Invalides. With full military honours.
Frankie: I would rather be buried in a pauper's grave in the Saint Marx Friedhof in Vienna than suffer the ignominy of being buried under a fake name by a traitor who offers me praise for my non-existent military career.
[1]
[2] this is not that odd. Even if Frankie tends to "dismiss" his father, he is still very much a little boy who is looking for where he "fits" in the world. He's been taught (as OTL) that his father was a "great man but corrupted by ambition", Marmont's told him another version that probably makes his dad seem eligible for sainthood. His going to see Wellington and Hudson Lowe is less to show there's no bad feelings than to see if there was anything redeemable in his father, and maybe Frankie also trying to see if there's anything "Bonaparte" in him). It's not unlike an adopted kid wanting to "find their real parents". It's an itch that needs to be scratched. Better to do it now, while the people are still alive, than later when they're dead and you've got nothing but their gravestones to ask
[3] in the 1830s, Bremen had one of the first "teachers' training colleges" in Germany (founded in 1811 IIRC). It's not unthinkable that Frankie paid it a visit.
[4] Sultan Mahmud II's mother was supposedly Aimée du Buc de Rivéry, a cousin of Josephine's.
[5] Maria Auguste of Saxony
[6] youngest son of D. Carlos
@The_Most_Happy @isabella @VVD0D95 @Jan Olbracht @Ramontxo @HortenseMancini @Anarch King of Dipsodes @Dragonboy @kaiidth @SavoyTruffle @Wendell @nathanael1234 @Fehérvári @Guatemalan Nat-Synd
*exterior* *we see the bustling port of Bremen* *Frankie is strolling casually along the waterfront, whistling Wenn Aller Untreu Werden[1]*
*Carriage rattles into the square, Standeisky is driving* *another man, Baron von Moll, is inside*
Frankie: *doesn't even look up until Moll's practically jogging alongside him* ah, Baron...good of you to join me-
Moll: there is urgent news, sir.
Frankie: the duc d'Orléans is once more pissed that the duke of Wellington didn't have me shot?
Moll: well, that too, sir.
Frankie: Mr Peel would've. And no doubt Lord Melbourne will. Arthur is, fortunately, a gentleman, not a brute. Why we had several long discussions about my father and about Waterloo while I was in London. Do you know how odd it is that Sir Hudson [Lowe] was even willing to receive me?[2]
Moll: of course, sir, but that's not-
Frankie: Prince Metternich has got people spying on me? I made the tail about an hour ago when I left the Padagogisch-Institut[3]. I stopped and asked him for directions to the Gansemarkt-theater. Which he provided.
Moll: how helpful of him
Frankie: the Gansemarkt-theater is in Hamburg, Baron. Any Bremener would've known that.
Moll: I did not know that, sir.
Frankie: neither did he. Now...since neither of my guesses are why you are here, spare me the torture and tell me.
Moll: the sultan has died.
Frankie: which sultan. Egypt? Persia- no Persia has a shah -India? Morocco? Oman?
Moll: the sultan, sir. Mahmud.
Frankie: I see. Who's next up? His brother?
Moll: all dead sir.
Frankie: so his son?
Moll: yes sir. But the boy is only just turned sixteen. And the Ottomans are at war with Egypt. Again. And the French king has offered his support to the Egyptians to take Syria and Lebanon, and-
Frankie: and a boy like my cousin's [4] is likely to be easy pickings for a man like Muhammed Ali- *walking back to coach* I swear, Baron, there was something in the water in 1769. Wellington, my father, Muhammed Ali...*notes that his cases are already packed on the back* you knew I'd want to leave as soon as I heard? Either I'm growing predictable, or you are becoming concerningly competent, Jean-Charles. *climbs into coach*
Moll: I suspected you would react to this by ordering us to leave.
Frankie: *nods as Moll gets in*
Moll: you forgot Humboldt, sir. *closes door*
Frankie: pardon?
Moll: great men born in 1769. Alexander von Humboldt was born that year as well.
Frankie: *picking up copy of Nicholas Nickleby as coach starts moving* so he was. I see you brought me a present. *holds up letter* *sniffs it* smells like a certain empress.
Moll: it arrived shortly after you left sir. Along with the letter concerning events in Constantinople.
Frankie: *opens letter and scans it*
Moll: anything worrying sir.
Frankie: *folds letter up and puts it pack in the book* *then closes the book* it would seem that the French king's recent pairing of the Prince de Joinville with Mademoiselle Janvière is causing the Brasilian senate to start looking for a bride for my cousin, Pierre [Pedro II].
Moll: any suggestions as to whom, sir?
Frankie: apparently the plan to start in Paris. Mademoiselle Janvière has already extolled the virtues of the duc de Cadix's daughters.
Moll: you do not sound concerned by it?
Frankie: have you met the duc's daughters? *folds down desk inside door* *takes out a sheet of paper and a pencil* *draws three columns on the page* *labels the latter two "pro" and "con". Those girls are nearly entirely in the "con" column except for their whole "French proxy" status. Orléans will certainly not grant them a dowry of any means. Next for a bride *pencils in names* the Spanish will consider the sisters of the King of Sicily. Maria Amelia and Maria Carolina are too old. Teresa Cristina...well...I doubt anyone would choose her if they'd met her. Parma has nobody. And his sister has nobody. However...his sister does have a charming little step-granddaughter [5] who happens to be Sopherl's niece. So charming, in fact, that the French were looking at her for Henri de Chambord.
Moll: didn't the czar offer his daughter for Henri?
Frankie: the czar can offer his daughter until he's blue in the face. Madame Royal has set her face against it. And I see no reason to persuade her at this point.
Moll: *nods*
Frankie: then we go to the daughter of Prince Vasa's ex-girlfriend, Princess Charlotte of Prussia. She's Protestant, so she'd have to convert - and given the current king of Prussia's religious views, I don't see that as being likely - but she's rich. Pierre needs a rich wife. *marks it in the pro column* but she'll only be able to marry in four years time. I'm not sure Brasil has the patience to wait for it *marks in the con column*. Still, connections to the Netherlands, Russia and Prussia could be enough of a temptation to them to wait *pro column*, and a daughter being an empress is a lucrative offer to allow her to convert *pro con*. I'll speak to Adalbert [of Prussia] when I return to Venice.
Moll: what about the Princess Marie of Prussia, sir?
Frankie: she's slated for Ernst of Coburg.
Moll: you haven't let that stop you before, sir, and you did mention that he was rather rude to you in England.
Frankie: I am not my father who fucks people over just because they happen to not like him. *still, he scribbles Marie in* although I can't think what advantage she'd bring to Brasil aside from her age *notes it in pro column* Moving from Prussia down...*glazed look as he tries to recall* Marie of Darmstadt is illegitimate, won't be difficult to send her there, but Brasil will view it as an insult. Down to Bavaria...Adelgunde, Hildegarde and Alexandrine...Adelgunde the king of Sardinia is already expressing an interest in for his younger son, the duke of Genoa. So leaves Hildi and Addy.
Moll: wasn't there some concern about Alexandrine's health, sir?
Frankie: I'd have to talk to Sopherl about it, it may have just been an excuse to not send her to Württemberg. -back down to Italy. Sardinia has nobody, Adele is already promised to D. Fernando [6]. Modena has nobody. Tuscany...Augusta can work well, sister-in-law to the Comte de Montizon. Pretty. Intelligent. Vivacious. *pro column* Dowry will be a problem though. *con column* Karoline of Teschen won't have the dowry problem, but if the Brasilian court knows of her sister's temper, they might not take a look. Still- did I leave anyone out?
Moll: Archduchess Sopherl's niece, sir? Helene?
Frankie: the one she wants to pair Franzi with?
Moll: that one sir. It would be a fine way of removing the girl from your plans for your cousin without the archduchess being able to complain.
Frankie: *taps pencil on chin* dowry will be a problem. I don't see the Bavarians agreeing to endorse a niece when they would want to have Hildegarde or Alexandrine carry off the prize. Not to mention how young she is. Nearly a whole decade younger than him. Won't be able to marry by at least 1848.
Moll: true. Although I had heard that the Archduchess was rather set on thi-
Frankie: *does face palm* I asked you if we had everyone and you forget Carola *scribbles Carola Vasa on the page*
Moll: she is Protestant sir, and she's only a few months apart in age from Helene...I didn't see the point in mentioning it.
Frankie: *soberly* and Gustaf is hardly in a fit state to talk this over with him now- just lost his father, poor man.
Moll: it was good of you to try to persuade the king of Sweden to let his father be buried in Stockholm, sir.
Frankie: didn't do me much good. Bernadotte wrote back only to piss on me.
Moll: still, at least the man and his wife were both buried in the Oldenburg Mausoleum. Hopefully one day, they can be returned to Stockholm.
Frankie: hopefully.
Moll: forgive my impertinence, sir, but do you ever consider your father's grave?
Frankie: on Saint Helena?
Moll: *nods* after your visit to Sir Hudson, I was wondering if perhaps you had some sort of inkling about it.
Frankie: I did not disinter my grandfather from Ajaccio to lay him alongside my grandmother. I will not disturb my father's grave in the South Atlantic to bring him back to Europe so everyone can see it to remind me of how I'm not him.
Moll: I only ask because the king of France has ordered that Comte Léon be buried at Les Invalides. With full military honours.
Frankie: I would rather be buried in a pauper's grave in the Saint Marx Friedhof in Vienna than suffer the ignominy of being buried under a fake name by a traitor who offers me praise for my non-existent military career.
[1]
[3] in the 1830s, Bremen had one of the first "teachers' training colleges" in Germany (founded in 1811 IIRC). It's not unthinkable that Frankie paid it a visit.
[4] Sultan Mahmud II's mother was supposedly Aimée du Buc de Rivéry, a cousin of Josephine's.
[5] Maria Auguste of Saxony
[6] youngest son of D. Carlos
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Spanish Ladies
Soundtrack: Léo Delibes - Les Filles de Cadix
*exterior* *various shots of the city* *cut to the Tuileries* *Louis Philippe is receiving a Brasilian embassy*
*we see the members of the embassy at various court events in Paris* *we see Luisa Carlota of Sicily watching, hoping that one of her daughters will impress the ambassador enough* *there are even one or two scenes where she forces one of her protesting daughters to dance another waltz or don't eat that* *really just being a pushy mom*
*we're not quite sure who to feel more sorry for: the ambassadors who are clearly done or her daughters* *maybe her son, Enrique, who is practically cringing inward as his mama has a death grip on his arm while suggesting to the ambassadors what a wonderful husband he'd make for Pauline*
*cut to exterior view of Malmaison* *it's dark* *most of the lights in the house have been doused* *suddenly there's a scream to shatter the silence*
*cut to Ca' Rezzonico* *Frankie is sitting at the desk in his study* *Karoline and Thérèse are missing* *but Leopold is once again riding his rocking horse* *his little brother, Charles Eugène, is "leopard crawling" towards his daddy*
Frankie: *suddenly reads a line again* *then bursts out laughing*
*the surprise causes Eugène to start crying* *which of course gets Frankie up and out of his chair**he's still soothing his son when Amalie von Schintling bursts in worriedly*
Amalie: *to Frankie* you shouldn't play so rough with them.
Frankie: *still laughing* *reaches for letter with free hand* read. Fourth paragraph from top.
Amalie: *takes letter*and the Infanta Isabel has recently privately married the count of Monte Rotondo *blank look* who's he?
Frankie: also known as Prince Poniatowski. He is... Was, I'm guessing... The Tuscan minister to Paris. Do you have any idea what a come down for the Duchess this must be? She stopped my cousin dancing with this same cousin at the king of Sicily's wedding because he "wasn't good enough". She was trying to interest the duc d'Angoulême and duchesse de Berri in the infanta for Henri, but now the Duchess winds up with a king's nephew's bastard for a son-in-law *starts laughing again*
Eugène: *also starts gurgling along*
Amalie: well, they always say you get what you deserve.
Frankie: if anything the Brazilians will take it as an insult. After all, they'll regard it that if one sister is like this-
Amalie: they're all like that. Trust me, I hear it from my father every letter how I'm ruining my sisters' prospects
Frankie: your father is equerry to King Ludwig, you are the doting mother to *looks from Leopold to Eugène* two adorable little boys, living in the house of, if the rumours are true, the coachman of Europe- *kisses her cheek*
Amalie: Max de Beauharnais is here to see you. There's someone with him.
Frankie: who?
Amalie: how must I know? *smiles at him* I'm your whore not your secretary. *the way she says it makes it clear that she's repeating what someone else has said it* *walks out of the room* *to person in the next room* Monsieur François will see you now.
Frankie: *to Eugène* what am I going to do with her, huh?
Max de Beauharnais: *raps on door* am I interrupting?
Leopold: *jumps off rocking horse* Uncle Max!
Frankie: come in *sits down on sofa with Eugène*
Max: *at little boy hugging his legs* when did you learn to talk? When I left you were still dirtying nappies.
Leopold: I got bigger.
Max: *chuckling* *ruffling his hair affectionately*
Frankie: what's news?
Max: well, the French have backed down. The famine that Guerrero and Oaxaca provinces experienced earlier in the year seems to be past. You persuading the czar and others to recognize Mexico has undercut the dominance of French influence somewhat. Also means that France can't insist on favoured nation status if the risk if of offending your other trading partners.
Frankie: I didn't persuade the czar of anything. That's his prospective son-in-law's doing.
Max: well, whoever's idea it was, congratulations. The czar's colonists in California are now also trading with the Mexicans and the Texans. Although the Mexicans aren't very happy that you made your support conditional on recognizing Texas. To be honest, according to Louis, neither are the Americans.
Frankie: I heard General Santa Ana was killed.
Max: he was, unfortunately *doesn't sound at all sorry*
Frankie: I also heard that you brought visitors.
Max: *nods* *steps back to door to open it* *a woman dressed in black walks in* your Majesty, may I present her Majesty, D. Ana Maria, Dowager Empress of Mexico.
Frankie: *rises from seat* *still holding Eugène with one hand* *ducks head* *clicks heels* *raises her hand to his* Vôtre Majesté.
Ana Maria: your nephew said that you might be able to help us.
Frankie: that would depend what I am helping with, Madame.
Ana Maria: now that that dog Santa Ana is dead...my children and I would like to return to Mexico.
Frankie: I'm afraid that is not within my power, Madame.
Ana Maria: I've heard of you, Napoleón...oh your father made a name for himself leading conquering armies - he inspired men like my late husband and Santa Ana and Bolivar - but you, you sit at a desk or take a carriage to the opera and Europe trembles-
Frankie: keep 'em guessing is what I always say.
Ana Maria: I wish to return home. I believe you are the man who is able to make it so.
Frankie: to travel all this way, Madame, only to wish to turn around and go back...could I not induce your Majesty to stay a while. In Venice - if you like - otherwise I have a lovely little palazzo in Florence that my aunt left me that I can have put at your disposal.
Ana Maria: I have no intention of staying long. My children are back in the United States, Majesty...I need to return to them.
Frankie: of course, your Majesty. I can quite understand. Did the United States not wish to provide you with any aid in your endeavour? That you come all this way to see me?
Ana Maria: they are very kind, for gringos. But I think that my and my children's presence there is...uncomfortable for them. An embarrassment. Which is why I wish to return home. To Mexico.
Frankie: what if I were to offer you that palazzo in Florence - or one here in Venice if you prefer. I hear the Vendramin family is looking to sell their palazzo - and your children were to come live here? You say that the Americans are embarrassed to have you, while I'm sure that you will feel yourself quite at home here.
Ana Maria: *looks conflicted*
Frankie: *hands Eugène to Max* *offers his arm to Ana Maria leads her out of the room* perhaps your Majesty would like to look over my school while you decide? I would hate so much for you to have to have come all this way for no reason.
Max: *quietly* oh he's good. He's very...very good.
*fade to black as we see him standing with Leopold and Eugène watching Frankie chattering on to a nodding empress*
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*exterior* *various shots of the city* *cut to the Tuileries* *Louis Philippe is receiving a Brasilian embassy*
*we see the members of the embassy at various court events in Paris* *we see Luisa Carlota of Sicily watching, hoping that one of her daughters will impress the ambassador enough* *there are even one or two scenes where she forces one of her protesting daughters to dance another waltz or don't eat that* *really just being a pushy mom*
*we're not quite sure who to feel more sorry for: the ambassadors who are clearly done or her daughters* *maybe her son, Enrique, who is practically cringing inward as his mama has a death grip on his arm while suggesting to the ambassadors what a wonderful husband he'd make for Pauline*
*cut to exterior view of Malmaison* *it's dark* *most of the lights in the house have been doused* *suddenly there's a scream to shatter the silence*
*cut to Ca' Rezzonico* *Frankie is sitting at the desk in his study* *Karoline and Thérèse are missing* *but Leopold is once again riding his rocking horse* *his little brother, Charles Eugène, is "leopard crawling" towards his daddy*
Frankie: *suddenly reads a line again* *then bursts out laughing*
*the surprise causes Eugène to start crying* *which of course gets Frankie up and out of his chair**he's still soothing his son when Amalie von Schintling bursts in worriedly*
Amalie: *to Frankie* you shouldn't play so rough with them.
Frankie: *still laughing* *reaches for letter with free hand* read. Fourth paragraph from top.
Amalie: *takes letter*and the Infanta Isabel has recently privately married the count of Monte Rotondo *blank look* who's he?
Frankie: also known as Prince Poniatowski. He is... Was, I'm guessing... The Tuscan minister to Paris. Do you have any idea what a come down for the Duchess this must be? She stopped my cousin dancing with this same cousin at the king of Sicily's wedding because he "wasn't good enough". She was trying to interest the duc d'Angoulême and duchesse de Berri in the infanta for Henri, but now the Duchess winds up with a king's nephew's bastard for a son-in-law *starts laughing again*
Eugène: *also starts gurgling along*
Amalie: well, they always say you get what you deserve.
Frankie: if anything the Brazilians will take it as an insult. After all, they'll regard it that if one sister is like this-
Amalie: they're all like that. Trust me, I hear it from my father every letter how I'm ruining my sisters' prospects
Frankie: your father is equerry to King Ludwig, you are the doting mother to *looks from Leopold to Eugène* two adorable little boys, living in the house of, if the rumours are true, the coachman of Europe- *kisses her cheek*
Amalie: Max de Beauharnais is here to see you. There's someone with him.
Frankie: who?
Amalie: how must I know? *smiles at him* I'm your whore not your secretary. *the way she says it makes it clear that she's repeating what someone else has said it* *walks out of the room* *to person in the next room* Monsieur François will see you now.
Frankie: *to Eugène* what am I going to do with her, huh?
Max de Beauharnais: *raps on door* am I interrupting?
Leopold: *jumps off rocking horse* Uncle Max!
Frankie: come in *sits down on sofa with Eugène*
Max: *at little boy hugging his legs* when did you learn to talk? When I left you were still dirtying nappies.
Leopold: I got bigger.
Max: *chuckling* *ruffling his hair affectionately*
Frankie: what's news?
Max: well, the French have backed down. The famine that Guerrero and Oaxaca provinces experienced earlier in the year seems to be past. You persuading the czar and others to recognize Mexico has undercut the dominance of French influence somewhat. Also means that France can't insist on favoured nation status if the risk if of offending your other trading partners.
Frankie: I didn't persuade the czar of anything. That's his prospective son-in-law's doing.
Max: well, whoever's idea it was, congratulations. The czar's colonists in California are now also trading with the Mexicans and the Texans. Although the Mexicans aren't very happy that you made your support conditional on recognizing Texas. To be honest, according to Louis, neither are the Americans.
Frankie: I heard General Santa Ana was killed.
Max: he was, unfortunately *doesn't sound at all sorry*
Frankie: I also heard that you brought visitors.
Max: *nods* *steps back to door to open it* *a woman dressed in black walks in* your Majesty, may I present her Majesty, D. Ana Maria, Dowager Empress of Mexico.
Frankie: *rises from seat* *still holding Eugène with one hand* *ducks head* *clicks heels* *raises her hand to his* Vôtre Majesté.
Ana Maria: your nephew said that you might be able to help us.
Frankie: that would depend what I am helping with, Madame.
Ana Maria: now that that dog Santa Ana is dead...my children and I would like to return to Mexico.
Frankie: I'm afraid that is not within my power, Madame.
Ana Maria: I've heard of you, Napoleón...oh your father made a name for himself leading conquering armies - he inspired men like my late husband and Santa Ana and Bolivar - but you, you sit at a desk or take a carriage to the opera and Europe trembles-
Frankie: keep 'em guessing is what I always say.
Ana Maria: I wish to return home. I believe you are the man who is able to make it so.
Frankie: to travel all this way, Madame, only to wish to turn around and go back...could I not induce your Majesty to stay a while. In Venice - if you like - otherwise I have a lovely little palazzo in Florence that my aunt left me that I can have put at your disposal.
Ana Maria: I have no intention of staying long. My children are back in the United States, Majesty...I need to return to them.
Frankie: of course, your Majesty. I can quite understand. Did the United States not wish to provide you with any aid in your endeavour? That you come all this way to see me?
Ana Maria: they are very kind, for gringos. But I think that my and my children's presence there is...uncomfortable for them. An embarrassment. Which is why I wish to return home. To Mexico.
Frankie: what if I were to offer you that palazzo in Florence - or one here in Venice if you prefer. I hear the Vendramin family is looking to sell their palazzo - and your children were to come live here? You say that the Americans are embarrassed to have you, while I'm sure that you will feel yourself quite at home here.
Ana Maria: *looks conflicted*
Frankie: *hands Eugène to Max* *offers his arm to Ana Maria leads her out of the room* perhaps your Majesty would like to look over my school while you decide? I would hate so much for you to have to have come all this way for no reason.
Max: *quietly* oh he's good. He's very...very good.
*fade to black as we see him standing with Leopold and Eugène watching Frankie chattering on to a nodding empress*
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Is this Luisa Carlotta catching her daughter with the polish count?