Frankie Goes to the Hofburg, or Napoléon II, Regent of Austria?
there's a reason soap operas run for as long as they do *cough* Bold *cough* Days *cough* All My Children *cough* and prove impervious to time slot rearrangements
Yep.there's a reason soap operas run for as long as they do *cough* Bold *cough* Days *cough* All My Children *cough* and prove impervious to time slot rearrangements
cough Emmerdale coughthere's a reason soap operas run for as long as they do *cough* Bold *cough* Days *cough* All My Children *cough* and prove impervious to time slot rearrangements
Du gehst ma am Zaga![1]
Soundtrack: Robert Schumann – Genoveva - Ja, wart bis zum jüngsten Tag
*exterior* *Arzew, Oran, Algeria* *the corvette, Albatross, arrives with the first group of settlers* *and Algeria’s new Governor-General, the Marquis de Beaufort-d’Hautpoul[2]*
*exterior* *Warsaw, the Governor of the Kingdom of Poland, Prince Ivan Paskievich, welcomes the person who is to be his interim replacement, Grand Duke Konstantin Nikolaïevich[3]*
*exterior Vienna* *interior at the Hofburg* *we see a cartoon in the Wiener Zeitung* *showing a scuffle between two schoolboys, each with electoral posters clutched behind their back* *one of the posters is of Proud’hon* *the other is Jeanne Deroin* *their schoolmaster is more interested in reading Frédéric Bastiat[4] than paying attention as a maid pastes up a poster of Deroin over the blackboard[5]*
*Franzi sets the newspaper down, chuckling at the depiction*
*we see a frowning Metternich looming over him*
Franzi: what do you think, Prince Metternich? *motions to the paper*
Metternich: I think the king of France is a fool for allowing the motion to stand- but then, I remember telling your grandfather the same thing about him.
Maxi: *feet on table* *peeling an apple* remind us again, which of you is the one who managed to get himself crowned and which of you is the one who got banished to the Rhineland?
Franzi: quiet, Maxi.
Metternich: it does set a dangerous precedent.
Franzi: does it now?
Metternich: the Wiener Demokratischer Frauenverein, sir.
Maxi: and what does Baroness von Perin-Gradenstein’s little society of nurses have to do with Madame Deroin being elected? *to Franzi* they’re very attractive in those uniforms, don’t you agree, Prince Metternich?
Metternich: *ignoring the comment* her lover, Herr Becher-
Maxi: *slightly scandalized tone* her daughter’s piano teacher, such slander will never do *tuts disapprovingly*
Metternich: Herr Becher is associating with Herr Jellinek.
Maxi: is this for a continuation of Becher’s book on Jenny Lind? *to Franzi* we must try to get her to come to Vienna. Or Frankfurt. Will be the highlight of the season.
Franzi: I believe the prince is referring to Jellinek’s series of articles Kritischer Sprechsaal für die Hauptfragen der Österreichischen Politik[6] in the *pats newspaper* Zeitung
Maxi: must’ve missed that one *resumes peeling his apple*
Franzi: what of such association.
Metternich: Herr Jellinek is a Jew, sir.
Franzi: *”are you serious” tone* and my grandmother was a Protestant...what is your point?
Metternich: he’s a dangerous radical.
Franzi: because he’s Jewish?
Metternich: no, sir
Franzi: then he has broken some law? Perhaps thrown the bomb for the Prater- *suddenly* how is your search for the bomber going? I’m told that Graf Sedlnitzky[7] is reporting his findings back to you?
Maxi: *ironically* if Onkel Frank[8] had thrown the bomb, I think both of them would’ve had the report by midnight, not still waiting for it two months later.
Metternich: *irritably to Maxi* these things take time, your Royal and Imperial Highness, we wouldn’t want to arrest the wrong person.
Franzi: see that you do, Prince, you’re making me start to believe that you are far less capable than you once were.
Metternich: *blanches* yes, sir. There’s one more thing I wish to discuss with you, sir.
Franzi: *tiredly* the matter of Hungary? That I should watch my back because Cousin Stephan is going to somehow get the London liberals on his side while he’s there for the king of Belgium’s funeral. The London liberals are then going to dispatch the British navy up the Adriatic and land at Trieste to march on Buda?
Metternich: nothing quite so absurd sir. Although the appointment of Grand Duke Konstantin in Warsaw-
Maxi: *warning tone* careful.
Franzi: then what is it that you wish to discuss, Metternich?
Metternich: Italy. Milan- specifically.
Franzi: what of it?
Metternich: I had heard from his Majesty, the emperor, that you are endorsing the viceroy’s requests to unite Lombardy-Venetia and the duchy of Modena.
Franzi: you don’t think that’s wise?
Metternich: I do not, sir
Franzi: *nods*
Metternich: *interpreting the nod as a “continue”* to unite the duchy to the kingdom of Lombardy would be a very bad idea, sir. For one, it would upset the balance in the peninsula. The duke of Modena would rule an area far larger- and far wealthier- than the duke of Tuscany. And the latter is...understandably peeved at the fact that Modena seemed to get everything when your predecessor parcelled appointments out[9]
Franzi: is my cousin in Tuscany so nervous that he has taken to using yourself as his emissary?
Metternich: no, sir. It is just for how it would seem to him.
Franzi: your opinions have been noted.
Metternich: there is also the other matter that it was agreed at the Congress of Vienna we would oppose any such unification-
Maxi: and how many points of the Congress of Vienna’s agreements haven’t you violated over the years, du alte schmeichler[10]
Metternich: only when it was in Austria’s interests. And only when I knew none would object, sir.
Franzi: or that those who would object would have no way of making those objections known?
Metternich: if you are referring to the people, sir, I would point out that the duke of Modena forwarding you the results of those plebiscites by the people requesting unification with Lombardy, is another point agreed at Vienna.
Franzi: no plebiscites?
Metternich: we would oppose any popular movement which seemed to threaten the stability of Europe.
Franzi: *nods*
Metternich: I must beseech your Royal and Imperial Highness to reconsider your stance on this.
Franzi: *stands up from chair* Klemens *clear he’s talking personally* *leads him over to map of Italy on the wall* *points to various places* here, here, here, and here...there are garrisons of Austrian troops in Italy. Garrisons are expensive. What the duke of Modena is proposing is that those garrisons will now be supplied with troops recruited from Lombardy, not Kärnten or Bohemia. As such, the troops from Kärnten or Bohemia can rather be used in Germany-
Metternich: against whom, sir?
Franzi: to fulfil Austria’s obligations per the German Confederation. You drew up the very code of that Confederation. Surely you must remember this part?
Metternich: of course, sir.
Franzi: The duke is simply wishing to allow that Lombardy has a larger pool from which to recruit soldiers, should the need arise. –same for his other reasons for requesting a union. Lombardy and Modena already share a ruler. It is unfair to demand that the duke should absent himself from seeing to the well-being of his own subjects so that he may tend to ours. And since his family moved to Milan with him, when he took up the post, should the unthinkable happen to the viceroy- like his father’s assassination- you would send a Milanese-raised boy to be duke in Modena. The Modenese will never accept it and Austria will be obliged to support him on the points of bayonets. That will be costly. So...what better way to solve the problem than to make Milan and Modena part of the same state? The Lombards are flattered at the extension of their territory. The Modenese are flattered because it is at their request that the duke is doing so.
Metternich: yes, but his government...it’s full of Italians.
Maxi: Italy governed by Italians...I can see why that is such a radical idea
Franzi: before Napoléon invaded, Maria Theresia’s son in Milan staffed his offices with Italians. It is only since 1815 that we have been supplying Germans, Hungarians- like Erdödy- or Bohemians to fill the government as well as serve as governor. Do you think Prince Lobkowicz ran a government of Bohemians while serving in Milan?
Metternich: no, sir. Of course not. It’s just that-
Franzi: I have much to learn from your wise advice, Klemens. But Italian affairs...Hungarian affairs...were not why I recalled you from exile.
*fade to black*
[1] Viennese idiom (you annoy me like a clock) implying exasperation
[2] The settlers (843 people) arrived on October 27, and the comte d’Hautpoul was only dispatched on October 22.
Hautpoul is an interesting character. He was born in 1804, his paternal grandfather, the Comte de Beaufort, colonel of the King’s Regiment and killed at the landing at Quiberon in 1782. One of the engineers, a Monsieur d’Hautpoul, then married the widowed Comtesse and adopted Hautpoul’s father, Édouard. Edouard served at Caldiero (under Molitor) for which he received the Légion d’Honneur at 23. His command of the engineering corps allowed the nighttime capture of the island of Danholm. Participant in the siege of Almeida, had a horse killed under him at Bussaco and freed himself and General Clauzel from the English hussars.
The Hautpoul- marquis de Beaufort-d’Hautpoul- in Algeria, served in the Morea Campaign, served soult on diplomatic missions to both Egypt and Syria between 1834 and 1837, became aide-de-camp to Soliman Pasha. Then went onto the French embassy in Persia, returning by way of Asia Minor. In 1843, he was aide-de-camp to the duc d’Aumale at the capture of Smala.
So he’s a man who has the right experience (military and diplomatic), in the right area (he’s familiar with the region and “culture”) and the right connections (Bonaparte, Orléanist and Légitimist) without being tied to any of them by marriage
[3] OTL, Paskievich’s eyes were deteriorating to the point that Nikolai I frequently begged him to seek treatment for them- the reason for his departure (he was apparently on the point of doing so when events in Hungary intervened). Why is Nikolai entrusting Konstantin with this job instead of a “more senior” person? Because Wilhelm of Prussia- Nikolai’s brother-in-law, Konstantin’s uncle- is still running around in Prussian Poland. Not to mention that Konstantin and Maxi of Austria’s “round-the-world roadtrip” means the guy- despite his age- will have valuable contacts in Vienna should they be required.
Besides, how long can Paskievich’s treatment take?
[4] French economist and writer, one of the fiercest opponents of socialism (exemplified in varying degrees by Proud’hon and Deroin). A quote of his regarding socialism is: the purpose of the socialists is to suppress liberty of association precisely in order to force people to associate together in true liberty
[5] The irony being that Deroin was formerly a seamstress and then a teacher before going into politics/journalism
[6] Critical Talking Room For the Main Questions of Austrian Politics
[7] Vienna’s hated Oberste Polizei und Cenzur Hofstelle, Joseph, Graf Sedlnitzky Odrowąż von Choltitz. Say what you liked about the man being Metternich’s crony OTL, but he was good at his job (which covered not just Vienna but the entire non-Hungarian part of the Austrian Empire). One source describes him as the “most skilled and efficient” police chief since Graf Pergen (under Joseph II).
[8] Frankie
[9] Chapter: The Merchant of Venice
[10] You old flatterer (toady)
*exterior* *Arzew, Oran, Algeria* *the corvette, Albatross, arrives with the first group of settlers* *and Algeria’s new Governor-General, the Marquis de Beaufort-d’Hautpoul[2]*
*exterior* *Warsaw, the Governor of the Kingdom of Poland, Prince Ivan Paskievich, welcomes the person who is to be his interim replacement, Grand Duke Konstantin Nikolaïevich[3]*
*exterior Vienna* *interior at the Hofburg* *we see a cartoon in the Wiener Zeitung* *showing a scuffle between two schoolboys, each with electoral posters clutched behind their back* *one of the posters is of Proud’hon* *the other is Jeanne Deroin* *their schoolmaster is more interested in reading Frédéric Bastiat[4] than paying attention as a maid pastes up a poster of Deroin over the blackboard[5]*
*Franzi sets the newspaper down, chuckling at the depiction*
*we see a frowning Metternich looming over him*
Franzi: what do you think, Prince Metternich? *motions to the paper*
Metternich: I think the king of France is a fool for allowing the motion to stand- but then, I remember telling your grandfather the same thing about him.
Maxi: *feet on table* *peeling an apple* remind us again, which of you is the one who managed to get himself crowned and which of you is the one who got banished to the Rhineland?
Franzi: quiet, Maxi.
Metternich: it does set a dangerous precedent.
Franzi: does it now?
Metternich: the Wiener Demokratischer Frauenverein, sir.
Maxi: and what does Baroness von Perin-Gradenstein’s little society of nurses have to do with Madame Deroin being elected? *to Franzi* they’re very attractive in those uniforms, don’t you agree, Prince Metternich?
Metternich: *ignoring the comment* her lover, Herr Becher-
Maxi: *slightly scandalized tone* her daughter’s piano teacher, such slander will never do *tuts disapprovingly*
Metternich: Herr Becher is associating with Herr Jellinek.
Maxi: is this for a continuation of Becher’s book on Jenny Lind? *to Franzi* we must try to get her to come to Vienna. Or Frankfurt. Will be the highlight of the season.
Franzi: I believe the prince is referring to Jellinek’s series of articles Kritischer Sprechsaal für die Hauptfragen der Österreichischen Politik[6] in the *pats newspaper* Zeitung
Maxi: must’ve missed that one *resumes peeling his apple*
Franzi: what of such association.
Metternich: Herr Jellinek is a Jew, sir.
Franzi: *”are you serious” tone* and my grandmother was a Protestant...what is your point?
Metternich: he’s a dangerous radical.
Franzi: because he’s Jewish?
Metternich: no, sir
Franzi: then he has broken some law? Perhaps thrown the bomb for the Prater- *suddenly* how is your search for the bomber going? I’m told that Graf Sedlnitzky[7] is reporting his findings back to you?
Maxi: *ironically* if Onkel Frank[8] had thrown the bomb, I think both of them would’ve had the report by midnight, not still waiting for it two months later.
Metternich: *irritably to Maxi* these things take time, your Royal and Imperial Highness, we wouldn’t want to arrest the wrong person.
Franzi: see that you do, Prince, you’re making me start to believe that you are far less capable than you once were.
Metternich: *blanches* yes, sir. There’s one more thing I wish to discuss with you, sir.
Franzi: *tiredly* the matter of Hungary? That I should watch my back because Cousin Stephan is going to somehow get the London liberals on his side while he’s there for the king of Belgium’s funeral. The London liberals are then going to dispatch the British navy up the Adriatic and land at Trieste to march on Buda?
Metternich: nothing quite so absurd sir. Although the appointment of Grand Duke Konstantin in Warsaw-
Maxi: *warning tone* careful.
Franzi: then what is it that you wish to discuss, Metternich?
Metternich: Italy. Milan- specifically.
Franzi: what of it?
Metternich: I had heard from his Majesty, the emperor, that you are endorsing the viceroy’s requests to unite Lombardy-Venetia and the duchy of Modena.
Franzi: you don’t think that’s wise?
Metternich: I do not, sir
Franzi: *nods*
Metternich: *interpreting the nod as a “continue”* to unite the duchy to the kingdom of Lombardy would be a very bad idea, sir. For one, it would upset the balance in the peninsula. The duke of Modena would rule an area far larger- and far wealthier- than the duke of Tuscany. And the latter is...understandably peeved at the fact that Modena seemed to get everything when your predecessor parcelled appointments out[9]
Franzi: is my cousin in Tuscany so nervous that he has taken to using yourself as his emissary?
Metternich: no, sir. It is just for how it would seem to him.
Franzi: your opinions have been noted.
Metternich: there is also the other matter that it was agreed at the Congress of Vienna we would oppose any such unification-
Maxi: and how many points of the Congress of Vienna’s agreements haven’t you violated over the years, du alte schmeichler[10]
Metternich: only when it was in Austria’s interests. And only when I knew none would object, sir.
Franzi: or that those who would object would have no way of making those objections known?
Metternich: if you are referring to the people, sir, I would point out that the duke of Modena forwarding you the results of those plebiscites by the people requesting unification with Lombardy, is another point agreed at Vienna.
Franzi: no plebiscites?
Metternich: we would oppose any popular movement which seemed to threaten the stability of Europe.
Franzi: *nods*
Metternich: I must beseech your Royal and Imperial Highness to reconsider your stance on this.
Franzi: *stands up from chair* Klemens *clear he’s talking personally* *leads him over to map of Italy on the wall* *points to various places* here, here, here, and here...there are garrisons of Austrian troops in Italy. Garrisons are expensive. What the duke of Modena is proposing is that those garrisons will now be supplied with troops recruited from Lombardy, not Kärnten or Bohemia. As such, the troops from Kärnten or Bohemia can rather be used in Germany-
Metternich: against whom, sir?
Franzi: to fulfil Austria’s obligations per the German Confederation. You drew up the very code of that Confederation. Surely you must remember this part?
Metternich: of course, sir.
Franzi: The duke is simply wishing to allow that Lombardy has a larger pool from which to recruit soldiers, should the need arise. –same for his other reasons for requesting a union. Lombardy and Modena already share a ruler. It is unfair to demand that the duke should absent himself from seeing to the well-being of his own subjects so that he may tend to ours. And since his family moved to Milan with him, when he took up the post, should the unthinkable happen to the viceroy- like his father’s assassination- you would send a Milanese-raised boy to be duke in Modena. The Modenese will never accept it and Austria will be obliged to support him on the points of bayonets. That will be costly. So...what better way to solve the problem than to make Milan and Modena part of the same state? The Lombards are flattered at the extension of their territory. The Modenese are flattered because it is at their request that the duke is doing so.
Metternich: yes, but his government...it’s full of Italians.
Maxi: Italy governed by Italians...I can see why that is such a radical idea
Franzi: before Napoléon invaded, Maria Theresia’s son in Milan staffed his offices with Italians. It is only since 1815 that we have been supplying Germans, Hungarians- like Erdödy- or Bohemians to fill the government as well as serve as governor. Do you think Prince Lobkowicz ran a government of Bohemians while serving in Milan?
Metternich: no, sir. Of course not. It’s just that-
Franzi: I have much to learn from your wise advice, Klemens. But Italian affairs...Hungarian affairs...were not why I recalled you from exile.
*fade to black*
[1] Viennese idiom (you annoy me like a clock) implying exasperation
[2] The settlers (843 people) arrived on October 27, and the comte d’Hautpoul was only dispatched on October 22.
Hautpoul is an interesting character. He was born in 1804, his paternal grandfather, the Comte de Beaufort, colonel of the King’s Regiment and killed at the landing at Quiberon in 1782. One of the engineers, a Monsieur d’Hautpoul, then married the widowed Comtesse and adopted Hautpoul’s father, Édouard. Edouard served at Caldiero (under Molitor) for which he received the Légion d’Honneur at 23. His command of the engineering corps allowed the nighttime capture of the island of Danholm. Participant in the siege of Almeida, had a horse killed under him at Bussaco and freed himself and General Clauzel from the English hussars.
The Hautpoul- marquis de Beaufort-d’Hautpoul- in Algeria, served in the Morea Campaign, served soult on diplomatic missions to both Egypt and Syria between 1834 and 1837, became aide-de-camp to Soliman Pasha. Then went onto the French embassy in Persia, returning by way of Asia Minor. In 1843, he was aide-de-camp to the duc d’Aumale at the capture of Smala.
So he’s a man who has the right experience (military and diplomatic), in the right area (he’s familiar with the region and “culture”) and the right connections (Bonaparte, Orléanist and Légitimist) without being tied to any of them by marriage
[3] OTL, Paskievich’s eyes were deteriorating to the point that Nikolai I frequently begged him to seek treatment for them- the reason for his departure (he was apparently on the point of doing so when events in Hungary intervened). Why is Nikolai entrusting Konstantin with this job instead of a “more senior” person? Because Wilhelm of Prussia- Nikolai’s brother-in-law, Konstantin’s uncle- is still running around in Prussian Poland. Not to mention that Konstantin and Maxi of Austria’s “round-the-world roadtrip” means the guy- despite his age- will have valuable contacts in Vienna should they be required.
Besides, how long can Paskievich’s treatment take?
[4] French economist and writer, one of the fiercest opponents of socialism (exemplified in varying degrees by Proud’hon and Deroin). A quote of his regarding socialism is: the purpose of the socialists is to suppress liberty of association precisely in order to force people to associate together in true liberty
[5] The irony being that Deroin was formerly a seamstress and then a teacher before going into politics/journalism
[6] Critical Talking Room For the Main Questions of Austrian Politics
[7] Vienna’s hated Oberste Polizei und Cenzur Hofstelle, Joseph, Graf Sedlnitzky Odrowąż von Choltitz. Say what you liked about the man being Metternich’s crony OTL, but he was good at his job (which covered not just Vienna but the entire non-Hungarian part of the Austrian Empire). One source describes him as the “most skilled and efficient” police chief since Graf Pergen (under Joseph II).
[8] Frankie
[9] Chapter: The Merchant of Venice
[10] You old flatterer (toady)
very wonderful chapter, interesting the " history and economics lesson " given by Franzi for Metternich, regarding Italy, the funniest part is Maxi's salacious comments 😜, and finally the people of Modena will be able to say " Ooh it's about time Vienna listened to us on this issue, it took them 20 years but in the end they proved us right ! ", even if I don't know how happy they would be to feel they were incorporated into Lombardy, they would rather ask Francis V to forward their further request to Franzi, that of renaming the kingdom, in order to also include them in the complete title ( especially because they they in Bologna would be happy to have to answer to the Milanese ) so it is probable that the kingdom will become something like : kingdom of Lombardy - Veneto - Emilian or Po Valley Kingdom ( we Italians have never been a people sufficiently respectful of our neighbors, especially if they were other Italians and were seen as imposing their ideas on other people's homes, in short the usual story of city rivalries of medieval - renaissance memory, well the people of Modena can still breathe a sigh of relief, there certainly won't be a person from Parma to govern them 😅😇 )
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Frankie has pointed out in several places that, unlike Metternich, he never planned for Franzi to be a "second I" who could repeat his own crap back to him. Franzi reaching out to Metternich is not unlike how Louis XVI and George III both reached out to senior ministers from the old regime when they became king, because the ministers had "experience". In both cases, this was a mistake- Louis XVI restored the parlements and George III agreed to several stupid ideas (civil list for one) that did more damage to the power of the crown. - and I have no doubt that Frankie has made sure that Franzi learned from those. After all, after his meeting with the duke of Weimar and Baden, Baden remarked: "if anyone knows what is good for him, he'll get on that horse or get out of the street" (implying Franzi is not some political ingennu like Metternich treats him).
thank you. Hopefully @The_Most_Happy agrees, since she was the one who gave me the idea of Metternich v Franzi
ISTR reading that straniero in Italian doesn't just mean someone you don't know, it can even mean someone from the next village you do know.
how does just "Kingdom of Lombardy" sound*? Kingdom of Lombardy-Veneto-Emilia or "Kingdom of Transpadania-Venetia" doesn't really roll off the tongue.
which Eastern Crisis?
*Tuscany is the only part of Italy north of the Papal Marches not ruled by the viceroy. So that's pretty much (excepting Corsica) the traditional "Kingdom of Langobardia Maior"
Yes…
Why not directly Kingdom of Italy then? (I can not remember the actual state of Piedmont, Liguria and Parma but that would not change things)
mainly because "kingdom of Italy" would had "Napoléonic" reminders- IIRC this was the reason Lombardo-Venetia was chosen OTL
(un)fortunately have never had to sit through Emmerdale, so I have no idea. Just know that in my grandparents' house growing up, you didn't make a noise between 16:00 and 18:30 when their soaps (the ones listed) were on.
I agree with Isabella, but perhaps to avoid the clauses of the Congress of Vienna regarding the creation of any state that referred to the Napoleonic era, I would opt for a more neutral Italic kingdom ( which is only a synonym for the kingdom of Italy 😜) or I would kindly ask the Pope to create a new royal title, for the occasion, so I pass the literal buck to someone else, and if anyone ( the great powers ) has problems I can always say, I didn't choose the name !
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Kingdom of lombardy means to the old regions of the entire plains of Padania so It would make sense but it would be like calling the Belgian region as burgundy , it would seem archaic.
As for the other names the transpadania one does not make sense because it is only geographic even if in modern times there is la lega that search meaning in it.
Probably the best bet considering the name is stay the course or make a made up name like Napoleon did with the Italian republics and so transpadania, and probably north Italy in the future.
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True who Napoleon used it, but the title was far more ancient and at this point I believe who is passed enough time from Napoleon’s reign for being able to ripristinate the old medieval title as the one chosen in Vienna at this point is outdated and nothing else would make sense
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would this need a formal announcement? Or would it be one of those things that has to wait for someone- like Francesco V- to die or resign from the position before the new title can be used?