In the spirit of all these pop culture TLs. Once upon a time, I did a thread in soc.history.what-if in which Joss Whedon went to Troma Films in 1985 to make his script for Buffy the Vampire Slayer as a "B" movie (Hey, that path worked for his idols John Carpenter and Wes Craven, he could make it work too). In my own words, the movie consisted of a cast of "wannabes, has-beens, porn stars, and ex-cons" that included the likes of Traci Lords as Buffy (her only role from that era still legal to show in the U.S.), Jim Carrey as Benny, Vincent Price as Merrick, and Steve Buschemi as Lothos. Then, four years later, he pitches the idea of a spinoff of it to Fox executives at the same time that Aaron Spelling is pitching Beverly Hills 90210. Fox decides they like the former idea better, but have Spelling Television executive produce it. (Not impossible, after all, this is the network that tuned The Toxic Avenger and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes into Saturday morning cartoons.) Unfortunately for Mr. Spelling, his daughter auditions and gets cast, so he can't simply screw it over and call it a day without alienating family. Here is a preliminary cast: Buffy: Kristy Swanson Joyce: Beverly D'Angelo Giles: Eric Idle or Tim Curry Willow: either Gabrielle Carthiers, Mayim Bialik, or Alyson Hannigan Xander: Anthony Michael Hall Amy Madison: Ami Dolnez Cordelia: Shannon Doherty Harmony: Tori Spelling Jonathan: Troy Slaten Principal Flutie: John Lithgow Principal Snyder: Rene Auberjornois Angel: Bill Wadhams The Master: Mark Metcalfe Darla: Jenny Garth The Annointed One: Jonathan Taylor Thomas Jenny Calendar: Christine McGlade (Changed from Roma Gypsy to [Druidic] Irish Traveler) Drusilla: Angelina Jolie Spike: Paul MacGann Ethan Rayne: Derek de Lint Faith: Holly Marie Combs Wesley Windham-Price: Tom DeFranco Mr. Trick: Don Cheadle The Mayor: David Rasche or Joss Whedon himself Reilly: Kevin Kubasheskie Adam: Kevin Sorbo Tara: Kelly Rutherford Dawn: Jolene Blaylock Ben: Matthew Lillard Glory: Rose McGowan Warren: Charlie Schlatter Andrew Wells: Leonardo DiCaprio Questions? Comments? Flames?