The Sting of Death: Hatred, Blood, and Happiness in Revolutionary America and Beyond.

[Our Man in Havana]

Vital spark of heav’nly flame!
Quit, O quit this mortal frame:
Trembling, hoping, ling’ring, flying,
O the pain, the bliss of dying!
Cease, fond Nature, cease thy strife,
And let me languish into life.

Hark! they whisper; angels say,
Sister Spirit, come away!
What is this absorbs me quite?
Steals my senses, shuts my sight,
Drowns my spirits, draws my breath?
Tell me, my soul, can this be death?
The world recedes; it disappears!
Heav’n opens on my eyes! my ears
With sounds seraphic ring!
Lend, lend your wings! I mount! I fly!
O Grave! where is thy victory?
O Death! where is thy sting?
“The Dying Christian to his Soul” Alexander Pope (1708-12).
__________________________________________

Introduction:
Greetings, good viewers of Alternate History. I initially planned on offering some of my writing of this tale before writing an introduction, but then I realized that it would be remiss to not offer a proper explanation first. Therefore, this shall be the first post.
This shall be the tale of a world without John Marshall. A great Chief Justice and a great man, slain, in this speculative work, before his time a few days before the OTL Battle of Great Bridge. John Marshall, the man who, through Marbury V. Madison, fomented, through both iron resolve and geniality to other justices, the process of judicial review. John Marshall, who was so well regarded by the people that, upon his death on July 8 1835, the Liberty Bell rang for him as a sign of deference, cracking in the process. This date was, oddly enough, 59 years to the exact day Philadelphia's prominent bell rang out the sound of independence. Perhaps that was an ominous portent, one of future disunity after the death of Marshall. Perhaps it was a signal that the America with Marshall will be separated, by a crack of history, from the America without Marshall. Or, perhaps, the Bell was old, and it just cracked.
John Marshall, through his gregarious and convivial nature, was able to create a powerful, unified Supreme Court. Without him, it seems unlikely that the Court would have been unified, the other members of the Court, for the most part, being more austere and laconic,
Indeed, his influence comes before this. Not as well known is his strong role played in getting Virginia to ratify the Constitution, serving alongside Judge Pendleton and Henry “Light Horse Harry” Lee on the federalist side, opposing men like the relatively obscure George Mason and the eloquent, respected, near godly Patrick Henry.. In the end, the Constitution was approved, and amendments that antifederalists wished for were agreed to be added after the fact. Marshall’s political amiability and shrewdness in operation (the only man he was said to have maintained a strong animosity for was a second cousin of his, Thomas Jefferson) were boons to him and a credit to his character. Without him, and his actions, the Supreme Court, and perhaps (though this may stretch plausibility a bit) even the fate of the Constitution in Virginia, would be in doubt.
A note on the poem above that provided inspiration for the name: Alexander Pope was widely known to many in the Colonies. John Marshall’s future wife, Polly, once rejected him, and, in a fit of tears, sent a lock of her hair to him, being full aware of him knowing The Rape of the Lock, by Pope, and seeing it as a nonverbal sign she repented and accepted him.
In all, this America will be different, more divided, more bloody. There will be less land for the American eagle, and more for others. Less will be held in high esteem in terms of what the nation cherishes. This world will be better, in some respects, most certainly. But in others, it will be worse. I do not intend to make this a “wank” as the term is (to any who do not know this and are fearing I am making an obscene remark, a wank is when a country is written to be exceedingly powerful, and remains as such throughout the timeline. Say, for example, the British Empire remains dominant throughout the few previous centuries, to the present day, without any enemies rising up to defeat them). I'm going to try my best to make the world balanced and fair, while also being unique and interesting. (No disrespect intended to writers of these wanks of course, so apologies if anyone was offended).
A note on methodology, before I go further. I will attempt to do a great deal of “history book” type writing, with fictional historical texts as my main method of pushing this tale forward. In addition to that, I would enjoy writing epistolary work, some doggerel when it strikes my interest, and some narrative writing in there. All of which I will find fun, it will be great to try out different writing styles.
It would be impolite of me, in making this venture, not to thank the people who helped me along the way:
Firstly, my mother, father and brother. They have inspired me, aided me, comforted me, and saved me from committing many foolish mistakes. For that, and for much more, I shall always be loyal and be of equal aid to them.
Second, my friends. As a person who, for some years of my life, was quite untalkative, I have begun to open up over the years, and I have become more loquacious (probably, I must admit, to the point of irritating someone along the way). A man is not the mere creation of books, he is the creation of the people around him. I was constantly molded by my surroundings and by the people there, and I still am. To that, my friends, I am grateful to you.
I would like to thank, while I am here, Lizzie S. and Sophia H. for their aid in helping me brainstorm the other night. You guys definitely know your early American history., thanks for giving me some awesome ideas I would have never thought of (and also not for bashing some of my weird ideas that I will never speak of publicly). Thanks in advance to the rest of the History Club (Anthony M, Nick V, Ryan B), I'll probably bother you all at some point for more ideas in the future .
I would like to thank my history teachers, for being good at their jobs and being indulgent regarding my questions. You spurred a passion in me that will not soon fade away.
I would like to thank the astounding works I have read here, whether in part or in full (mostly in part, to be honest). Some influential ones include: “Look to the West”, “Lands of Red and Gold”, “The Dead Skunk”, “The Commonwealth of New England” universe, "An Age of Miracles", among others of course. It makes for great reading, and is helpful in formulating a writing process.
Lastly, I would wish to thank the readers. Depending on how long this actually ends up being, and whether my verbiage matches the ideas in my head, this will be a rather long project. Please pardon in advance absences, writers blocks, and fear. Over my decent length of time on the Board, I have seen the vast majority of posters here being courteous and attentive, offering critiques, source suggestions, and praise of work. If I only receive a fraction of that, I will be content with this.
As you can probably tell by now, this is my first timeline. Let’s hope this doesn’t crash and burn. Feel free to point out any errors I have.
(Note: I’ll attempt to update this “List of Gratitude” if I find anyone else whom I believe deserves praise).

Also, here is a list of sources I am currently using. This will be updated a great deal, hopefully with regularity:
John Marshall: Definer of a Nation, Jean Edward Smith (Great book)
This article on Talleyrand and French Emigres in Philadelphia:
file:///C:/Users/Admin/Downloads/42287-Article%20Text-42126-1-10-20121205%20(2).pdf
Creation of Kentucky book (Note: Yet to read, here for reference)
https://www.google.com/books/edition/Kentucky_s_Road_to_Statehood/h8weBgAAQBAJ?q=&gbpv=1#f=false

James Blair Proposition for Supplying Virginia with Clergy 1699 September 6 | Colonial Williamsburg Digital Library

research.colonialwilliamsburg.org

Williamsburg during the Colonial Period - Encyclopedia Virginia

Establishment of Middle Plantation The land that eventually became Williamsburg was first utilized by at least two groups that were part of Tsenacomoco, a of Algonquian-speaking Indians led, until 1618, by Powhatan. The , whose village was located six miles upriver from Jamestown, and the , who...

encyclopediavirginia.org

John Murray fourth earl of Dunmore (ca. 1730–1809) - Encyclopedia Virginia

Early Years Medallions Commemorating the Seven Years’ War Murray was born around 1730 probably at Taymount, the estate of his parents, William Murray and Catherine Nairne Murray, in Perthshire, Scotland. He served as a page to Charles Edward Stuart (often called Bonnie Prince Charlie) during the...

encyclopediavirginia.org

Men of the Revolution: 15. Frederick Mackenzie

Of the British officers who served in America during the Revolution, the names Howe and Clinton, Burgoyne and Cornwallis, are the ones that echo across the (Issue: October 1975)..

www.americanheritage.com

Richmond during the Revolutionary War

One of the lesser known cities that took part in the Revolutionary War, Richmond, Virginia, was home to many revolutionary figures that influenced the...

www.battlefields.org

James Rivington: King’s Printer and Patriot Spy? - Journal of the American Revolution

This article was originally published in Journal of the American Revolution, Vol. 1 (Ertel Publishing, 2013). Solving “the Most Astounding” Mystery of the American Revolution In early spring 1773, readers of the Boston Gazette came across an ambitious business proposal when they opened the March...

allthingsliberty.com

Edmund Randolph

Edmund Randolph - Understand Edmund Randolph, LAWS.COM - American Constitution 1789, its processes, and crucial LAWS.COM - American Constitution 1789 information needed.

constitution.laws.com

Williamsburg on the Eve of War - Journal of the American Revolution

A visitor to Williamsburg prior to the outbreak of the Revolutionary War would have discovered a city of just 1,900 inhabitants, roughly 900 of whom were white and free and the remaining 1,000 black and mostly enslaved.1 These were the year-round inhabitants who lived in the several hundred...

allthingsliberty.com

Top 10 Revolutionary War Newspapers - Journal of the American Revolution

Historians have long praised newspapers for the role they played during the American Revolution, but they don’t always zero in on specific papers that were particularly important during this time. Rather, they give deserving praise to all of the press for the help they gave in winning...

allthingsliberty.com

What Happened in Philadelphia History 1776

Philadelphia Historical Timeline - 1776: In January, Thomas Paine publishes his pamphlet Common Sense. His argument spreads throughout the colonies, rallyi

www.phillybite.com

Philadelphia: A History of the City of Brotherly Love

Pennsylvania's largest city is known as the home of the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall and the "Rocky" statue.

www.history.com

https://allthingsliberty.com/2013/02/john-adamss-rule-of-thirds/
http://breedshill.org/The_Breeds_Hill_institute/The_One_Third_Myth.html
https://www.ushistory.org/us/11b.asp
https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/declaration-transcript

http://smallstatebighistory.com/british-hessian-forces-occupy-newport-aquidneck-island-1776/#:~:text=6-,British%20and%20Hessian%20Forces%20Occupy%20Newport%20and%20Aquidneck%20Island%20in,the%20island%20and%20its%20people.

How the British Tortured Ethan Allen - New England Historical Society

For more than two years, the British tortured a prize POW, Ethan Allen. Find out how they did it both psychologically and physically.

www.newenglandhistoricalsociety.com

Lost Battlefield: The Disastrous Battle for New York

This page describes the string of British victories that drove Washington's Continental Army out of New York City at the beginning of the American Revolution.

www.battlefields.org

"To Huts": British Winter Cantonments around New York City - Journal of the American Revolution

The British Occupation of the New York City region during the Revolutionary War was the longest continuous occupation of any area of the entire war. After the fall of New York in 1776 and the British retreat from Philadelphia in 1778 the British and American armies surrounding the New York...

allthingsliberty.com

The Battle of Brooklyn - Governors Island National Monument (U.S. National Park Service)

www.nps.gov

If anyone has any source suggestions, feel free to pass them along.
Without further ado, I’ll end this overly long introduction. I wish you all a pleasant rest of your day, night, or afternoon, depending on time zones.
Yours Sincerely,
OmiH

 

[Our Man in Havana]

Epoch I: A War, Never-ending in our Hearts
The Making of the New World: From War Until Peace.


Chapter I: The Bridge of Virginia
December 4, 1775

The situation in Virginia was, to put it mildly, grim for the Loyalists. Lord Dunmore, governor of the colony, lost much of Virginia to secessionists, who marched on the Tory stronghold of Norfolk, Virginia. Norfolk’s populace, having a not insignificant number of Scottish merchants, was a haven for Loyalists. If Norfolk was taken, all chances of Royalists retaining Virginia would be scrapped.
In the way of the Americans was the Great Bridge. Great Bridge, a settlement 12 miles to the south of Norfolk, was a center of trade from the Carolinas. The eponymous bridge, which connected two sides of the southern section of the Elizabeth River, was surrounded by marsh land, cold and bitter in the winter, and perfect for hit and run raids and well justified complaints about the wretched situation, though probably not much else. One soldier, Lieutenant Colonel Charles Scott, wrote that, “Last night was the first of my pulling off my clothes successfully” (I). In such dismal conditions, it was no wonder that soldiers, in this age that valued glory and success, wanted to venture out and get into some action (II). One such instance of action was led by John Marshall, first Lieutenant in the Fauquier Rifles. Marshall was well respected by his men for his amiable and jovial attitude, and bolstered the spirits of the weary soldiers, who surely expected him to return to them, in good health and good cheer.
Perhaps if the raid was successful, the course of history could have changed. Unfortunately, it was not- the raid, which occurred on the evening of December 4, 1775, ended with John Marshall being shot in the stomach (III), the sole unlucky casualty of the affair. Although he initially survived, the cold and inhospitable clime ensured he would die, slowly and painfully. He managed to last the night, but even the constant observation of his concerned brothers in arms could not save him from death. John Marshall died at 3 in the afternoon, December 5, 1775.
In a sense, America was made like John Marshall- cold, moribund, and lamented by others. Emancipated from the father of John Bull, free in this New World to rebel and revel in their glory, only to find their cause is harder than first thought.
What would have happened had John Marshall survived, It is hard to say. But what happened if the Patriots won the engagement? Perhaps the capture of Norfolk, or even of the colonial governor. History did not turn that way, of course. But one wonders what career John Marshall, and many like him, would have had- soldier, statesman, author? One wouldn’t know.
Shirley Chasholm, A Cause Unbidden: The Effects of the American Revolution

I: Quoted from John Marshall: Definer of a Nation, by Jean Edward Smith.
II: A bit of a supposition on my part, but it stands to be argued that people had a fonder view of war than they do today. I remember reading Napoleon: A Life by Adam Zamoyski, where he spoke of the desire for “La Gloire” that affected many young men in Europe at the time. It would be logical to assume the same desires affected Americans.
III: The Point of Divergence: John Marshall, who participated in the Battle of Great Bridge, was shot and later died. This certainly leaves a great hole in the judiciary of the United States, not to mention a whole lot of other issues.

 

[Our Man in Havana]

Thanks for the likes before, fellows.
Any commentary on the writing?
I wrote up a bit more already on a document, but once that is done, I'll need to take some time and write more

 

[Unknown]

Good start so far--waiting for more...

 

[Our Man in Havana]

Good start so far--waiting for more..

Thank you very much

 

[Our Man in Havana]

Chapter II: The Capture of the Virginians
December 6, 1775
Reveille was ten minutes late. The men could not be blamed, in truth- they were in low morale throughout the night, for the burial of John Marshall was scheduled rather late. The soldiers were, to put it mildly, exhausted. The conditions were already inhospitable, and this burden upon them proved too much. The soldiers, ordered to sleep, often slept fitfully, or not at all. The men on watch, ordered to stay awake, often momentarily dozed off.
They knew something was wrong when there began a loud yell.
Brutal in tone, low in pitch, the voice issued a statement. An order, even.
“You have two choices here, gentlemen. Surrender, or face your death”.
The Americans, forced to choose between their demise and their humiliation, chose the latter. The choice became easier, for some, when the few that decided to escape were either shot, or straggled off into the swamp like leeches, finding a new wound to fester in. For indeed, the swamp was like an open wound- both disgusting and barren of necessity, perhaps the only option of the men was to flee and regroup, no easy feat in an age lacking in communication faster than boat travel, which the men lacked.
The preface to this daring raid, immortalized to history in the painting, “The Capture of the Virginians”, is quite an interesting story in itself. John Murray, 4th Earl of Dunmore, known for his impatience and strong will (his attempt to rule by himself, reminiscent of Charles I of England, led to a similar outcome- discontent amongst the masses- and by masses, it is meant rich citizens with ties to the burgeoning Patriot movement, who then convinced the poor of Virginia they were being maligned (I)) ordered a raid after the burial of the officer). Led by Captain Fordyce, a brave and skilled man, the British advanced, under cover of darkness, and managed to reach the Patriot position before reveille was sounded (no doubt influenced by the great mourning for John Marshall, an officer who was well liked by the men). This “attack”, as it were, was a complete success: the British captured nearly the whole of the Virginian force, around 850 men, while 11 escaped into the swamp to make an unceremonious and rather undignified escape. Dunmore also found that, to his chagrin, that Patriot cannons he thought were menacing him from across the river were defective. It is a credit to his character (or perhaps his prescience regarding the irrelevance of such a matter) that such a revealing mistake was included in his memoir, Defender of Empire.
In short, the Americans, in desperate need of a victory, was short of one, and Dunmore ahd the Loyalists remained confident that Crown and Country would succeed over the enemy.
Ultimately, too confident.
Chapter 3: The Virginian Campaign, from Tales of the Revolution, Joseph Sequoia.
Notes:
I: History Textbooks can be biased, of course.
In OTL, the battle occurred on the 9th. Dunmore was a bit more impatient in this TL, after the death of Marshall. His timing was quite good, in this case.


Art Analysis Lecture, London, 1978,
(A man in a fine suit stands in front of a lecture hall, filled to the brim with youthful future art historians. Or dropouts, one or the other).
“Alright, gentlemen… and Miss Hooper” Nodded Mr. Greadoch to the sole female student; He was aware that she was often maligned behind her back, which made him rather irate- Greadoch didn’t give the better part of his 20s to the service to see some malodorous rats ogle a well educated women.
“You! Yes, you, with the surprised expression, come here and face me”. The gentleman he was referring to, a tall, roguish fellow, showed on his face the look of surprise prevalent to people who commit ill deeds and get caught- with the wrong deed being an overly loud whisper apropos the physical features of the demure Miss Hooper. Slowly, he rose from his seat, and, slowly, he trudged to the front, near the podium.
“Sir?” inquired the young man, Harrison by name and bastard by disposition.
“Is that a question? Did I ask you to speak, you moral troglodyte?”
“...No?”
“Yes!! I said nothing other than come hither. I do, now, have a question towards you, so thank you for your ignorance of commonly understood instructions. My question is this- how much do you know of The Surrender of the Virginians?”
“... Uh, it pertains to the surrender of Virginians” replied the hesitant Harrison
“DEAR GOD! Take me from the Earth!” Shouted Greadoch to the Heavens. The student body roared with laughter, and Miss Hooper was chuckling behind her hand. Greadoch was glad his little display boosted her morale.
“Anything else you know, besides the obvious? When it was made, what was wrong about it?”
“Wrong?”
“Oh, goddamn it all! Stand there, young man. We’re going to act a bit, surely you’ve seen a play before, considering you put on such cultured airs”
“Uh..”
“I’ll take that as a no. Alright, fair folks in the audience, watch closely”. Greadoch, in his usual manner, stepped forward and pointed at Harrison’s stomach.
“There’s where we begin. No, I fear that the acting does not pertain to Harrison puking out of fear, though I imagine he’ll do that anyway” More laughter came at this statement, Harrison looked angry.
“Now, see here you Scottish..”
“Yes, I am Scottish, what an astute remark. Did you switch majors after studying anthropology? As I was saying, in lies the problem- the stomach, specifically the bullet, in that region, which struck one John Marshall of Virginia. Now, poor Mr Marshall decided it would be a splendid idea to do a bit of scrapping, as I believe the term is used, across to the British position. Well, he got rather unlucky, and he died. The men were, of course, very sad at the loss of this man, and some poor soul woke up to do reveille too late. And by too late, I mean they woke up surrounded by British soldiers.
As to the painting Harrison here couldn’t proffer much information about, I suppose I’ll explain this myself. By the way, Harrison, since you’re being John Marshall, you should be keeled on the floor, dying. Preferably without medical attention being provided to you.”
Greadoch points to the painting hanging behind him.
What first strikes many people is the color of The Surrender of the Virginians. It is a dark hue, meant to represent the fact the surrender occurred early in the day.
“Some of you may be able to infer that this occurred in the wee hours of the morning. That my friends, is what historians call nonsense.” Greadoch gestures to the colors. “You really think these folks would want to sign a peace treaty, in a barely lit area? In a swamp? Half of them could barely read when it’s noon, let alone in such abysmal conditions (I). What really happened was, the Americans, now prisoners, were taken by a small escort, to Norfolk, where they, under duress naturally, signed surrender papers, affirmed that they would abide by parole, blah, blah, legal rigmarole, etc. They were kept on ships in the harbor for quite some time (II)
Another detail of interest is who accepted the surrender papers. In the painting it was the Earl, who accepted them from the hand of the American commanding officer, William Woodford, whom, I might add, was rather composed in the painting. In reality, he apparently shat himself. Harrison can probably demonstrate that”. Laughter rang out again,
“Another detail, the officer approached dismounted. You think any officer worth his salt would have been dismounted walking to them then? It would have stained pride, True, he could have been shot sitting on that mount, but damn it, the honor at stake!”. More chuckles from the audience.
“Last thing- this is a more subjective note, but from what I’ve heard over the years from both scuttlebutt and books (III) Dunmore was a rather overconfident man. Decided after his sublime victory here, he can easily take any Patriot force and beat them easily. This attitude was, of course, a mistake. Which led to actions like what occurred at Williamsburg”.
The bell rang, students began to leave.
“Alright, young people, come back tomorrow, we’ll discuss some more art history”. He turned to Harrison, who tried to leave. Greadoch grabbed his arm.
“Man, I catch you making such comments about any woman again, I’ll throw you into the painting. I don’t care if it’s a reproduction or the original, you’re going through the frame”.
:Understood, sir”.
“Alright, then. Go apologize to the young woman you’ve maligned and ogled at”.
Harrison went, and did so, sullenly. Miss Hooper nodded a bit.
Good, thought Greadoch. At least that idiot won’t bother anyone no more. Or I really will toss him into a painting.
I suppose I should refresh myself about Williamsburg, someone’s going to ask me eventually. Where did I put that book?
Notes:
I: Probably a bit of hyperbole on my part here, should have seen that earlier.
II: In OTL, it was Dunmore and some Loyalists who took refuge in the harbor in ships. Incidentally, in firing cannons from these ships, they set some buildings on fire. The Americans, deciding that continuing the inferno would be a good idea, set fire to a lot more of the city. Essentially, by the end, over ⅔ of Norfolk was burned down by this series of increasingly inane actions.
III: What can I say, Greadoch was in the navy. Terms can last longer in the popular imagination, or they can fade away. Or, of course, I can have some fun and make up random terms. That will be enjoyable to do.

 

[PGSBHurricane]

Nice Work. I love myself a good American Revolution timeline, and this one has a rather original POD.

 

[Our Man in Havana]

Nice Work. I love myself a good American Revolution timeline, and this one has a rather original POD.

Thank you as well
I am enjoying it. I hope that, going along, it will continue to interest you.

 

[Our Man in Havana]

Pardon me for not writing anything yesterday, I was engaged in reading the Bhagavad Gita... and also playing some video games . The book has my full recommendation by the way, excellent. I'll stop writing about it before I derail my own thread.
I'm doing some reading into the history of Williamsburg now, and writing up what I'll send out. It'll probably be done tomorrow. It's pretty interesting stuff.
Anyways, that's just my explanation.
I missed this before in the Battle of Great Bridge, but this guy seems awesome: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colonel_Tye
I need to do some reading into him, I hope I can make a cool story out of that.
I'll keep some of my other ideas a secret, however
Have a great morning, afternoon, and night, whatever is applicable
Yours,
OMiH

 

[Our Man in Havana]

Chapter III: A Deal with Those Red Coated Devils: Williamsburg and what their Fair Citizens Did

“… And so the Earl, awash with confidence after the victory over the Patriots, decided upon a swift march to Williamsburg. His overconfidence was his doom, truth be told. Any man who had such a triumph as the Capture of the Virginians would have felt like a newfound Alexander, both statesman and soldier, awash in his power. Thus, while barely waiting for supplies sent from the naturally grateful city of Norfolk, Dunmore ordered a forced march to the capital of his rebellious territory of Virginia, Williamsburg.”
The Early Years: A History of the British in Virginia, Chapter 6: Williamsburg in turmoil.

Over the proceeding century, Williamsburg had a veritable transformation, from a sleepy backwater to a respectable, cultured city. Before 1699, the capital of Virginia was that town known to all students of history, Jamestown. However, Jamestown did not, by the end of the 17th century, seem well off. The first push to move the capital came because of Bacon’s Rebellion: on September 19, 1676, nearly the entirety of Jamestown was burned down, including the statehouse. On October 20, 1698, the statehouse was burnt down once again. By this point, many had enough, and two prominent figures, Francis Nicholson, a former governor of Maryland turned appointed governor of Virginia, and James Blair, a clergyman and president for life of William and Mary College, were influential backers of moving the capital to Williamsburg (I). Indeed, the aforementioned college was a significant reason for why it was moved.
Williamsburg had two issues in A.D 1705: First, Governor Nicholson was removed from office (at the behest of Blair) (I). Second, the College caught fire October 29, 1705. These issues, like others, were solved by the dynamism of Alexander Spotwood (who Blair also acted against later). From 1747-48, Williamsburg was struck with disaster yet again: on the 30th of January 1747, the capitol building burned down. In 1748, smallpox ravaged the city. Discussions were raised once again to move the city, which some didn’t like - one tavern keeper, James Shields, stated in his will that his daughters would receive half of what was promised if the capital remains at Williamsburg (in other words, their allotment in the will cuts in half if the capital moved - one could imagine the daughters as being unhappy about this). Of note for race relations, the Associates of Dr. Bray, a group of people who educated African Americans and Natives, set up a school in Williamsburg in 1760.
Williamsburg was not immune to political agitation, however. Dunmore exacerbated tensions due to a standoff involving a powder magazine, and his later statement offering freedom to any slave who fought for the king angered many. His later formation of an Ethiopian Regiment of black Loyalists, led by white officers, further decreased any support and goodwill he had, particularly among the planter class.
The tide seemed to have turned near the Tidewater, however. Dunmore’s recent victory at Great Bridge emboldened him, and many Patriots feared a restoration of British rule. Dunmore marched with his troops from Great Bridge, including his Ethiopian Regiment, intent upon restoring his capital, by conquest. Which, sadly for him, did not quite happen.

The distance between Norfolk and Williamsburg is 52 miles. This is the distance often counted for the march to Williamsburg, Including the distance between Great Bridge and Norfolk, a total of 14 miles, this makes the total distance around 66 miles. Not being a particularly long march, Dunmore and Fordyce decided that it would be wise to take the most direct route: heading a bit upriver along the James, building boats, and then crossing the river. After that, they could walk along a road, using the aforementioned boats to cross the Mataponi and Pamunkey Rivers (these used ferries to get across, but considering it was a war, Dunmore and Fordyce didn’t place faith in ferry operators loving their work enough to stay when they had a high chance of being killed or driven out by one side or the other). Thus, by December 15, a slightly behind schedule British force was at the gates of Williamsburg.
The important figures in colonial Williamsburg at this time were the loyalist John Randoplh (his recently deceased brother Peyton was a more moderate figure), George Wythe, a well regarded lawyer, and Robert Carter Nicholas, the treasurer (II). These four men after the (not very dearly) departed Lord Dunmore were essentially the great influences of Williamsburg. John Randolph, a Loyalist notwithstanding the opposition his brother and his son, Edmund, had to the British, was happy at the British victory at Great Bridge. John hoped for a reconciliation between the Crown and the Colonies. His Loyalism made him suspect to many of his fellow townsmen and women, and eventually, disaster struck for him.
Williamsburg: A City by Brett Brettson
________________________________
December 18, 1775:
Private Joseph Graham stood, watching the town of Williamsburg. Again. It was his third day of watch. Despite the fact there were over 500 men here, including the blacks. Sergeant is not very fond of me, he thought. Knew I shouldn't have drank that liquor a few weeks ago.
Suddenly, he sees two figures approaching. One, an older man, and the second, a younger man. Both holding their hands above their heads, both having white cloth fashioned to their arms.
They walked alone.
“Truce!” Graham called out, involuntarily. What the hell am I doing? It might not be a truce, these two bastards might just be rich fools that don’t want to be besieged.
The two men stopped. Graham looked around, just in time to see the Sergeant and fortunately his friend, Ensign Jones.
“Graham! Who is this?”
“I have no Godly idea, Sergeant.”
“You two! Walk, quickly now!”
The two men began to come at a quick rate.
As they got closer, Graham noticed the two looked quite similar, appearing as father and son. The son seemed quite worried, while the father seemed to alternate between mild nervousness, equanimity, and joy. Quite strange, he thought.
“State your names.” ordered the Sergeant.
“I am John Randolph, and this is my son Edmund. We have been thrown out of Williamsburg, on suspicion of us assisting you” stated the older man.
“...Were you planning on doing so?” Inquired the Sergeant.
“I am Loyal to the King, Sergeant. My late brother, less so, and my son… not very. I did not wish to jeopardize them(III). Here is a note from them in writing.” Randolph handed it to the Sergeant, who looked at it quickly, and just as quickly gave it to the Ensign.
“Jones, you’re a better reader than I, what’s that say?”
“It says, ‘Dear sirs, we have here two suspected men whose affiliations may align with yours. Take them, and begone’.
“... that’s it?” the Sergeant asked. Jones nodded his assent.
“Damn. Private Graham,”
“Yes, Sergeant?”
“Take this to the Captain, tell him it is important. Him and the Earl should discuss it.”
“Yes, Sergeant”.
The Sergeant faced the duo, father and son, now despised by their former citizens.
“Gentlemen, you have my word under God that you won’t be harmed. Come with me”.
____________________________________
“In my youth, I supported the Patriot cause. That cannot be denied, it is of the historical record, and in the eyes of Our Maker. Yet, after Williamsburg, after the scurrilous actions those townspeople did to force out my father and I, I feel no loyalty to their cause, none. Indeed, after this, I grew to see the error and hypocrisy of the cause of Rebellion - yelps of liberty alongside the overseer’s whip, cries of freedom and equality, with the exception of women and those who did not fit the standards those imperious Founders decreed. This thought process is no surprise to those who know my work and fight against the slave trade and for black education - the professionalism of that regiment of blacks remains imbedded in my mind to this day. No rapine, no plunder, no evil acts that these dark skinned men were often maligned for supposedly doing, merely an orderly, professional march back to Norfolk that made me realize once again of the power of the British soldier. It strikes me, even today, that many Americans thought a complete victory was possible over the British, when that struck me, in that moment, as impossible (IV).
I knew then what I was - neither a reactionary Briton nor a new nationalist of the false American creed, I was a reformer. I was one who desired change yet abhorred revolt. My father and I, divided on the cause of revolution, were again unified. Like Britain and America, my father and I reconciled (though, in truth, we never had much disagreeability between us to begin with) (V), and I was shown that, even after spirited opposition to a cause, people can change.
This comforts me far more than most know.
Edmund Randolph, prominent abolitionist and Governor of Royalist Virginia (VI), Memoirs
____________________________
The British movement away from the capital of Williamsburg is often linked in the popular imagination to the Deal between the townspeople and the British soldiers: namely, giving up the Randolphs in exchange for clemency. While this was a curious factor, it was not entirely the reason why.
Firstly, the weather was becoming colder and colder as time went on. Dunmore, exuding his impatience again, wanted a victory by Christmas, preferably some time before, so he can return to Norfolk in triumph. Fordyce, however, disagreed. He noted that the men were tired, their position was secure, and the fact that the Patriots were willing to trade indicated one, that they were afraid, and two, that they did not have sufficient means to withstand a British assault (this was actually a poor supposition on Fordyce’s part- hundreds of soldiers came in the fall from the surrounding countryside, and were organized into companies. He was of course unaware of this action, and would have certainly pressed his argument with greater force had he known). The British however, were not in perfect form either - a winter siege struck everyone, even Dunmore, as a terrible idea, and there was often a lack of cooperation between the whites and blacks, which would make combat coordination and trust difficult. Fordyce advised moving back to Norfolk for the winter and fortifying a position. In the light of hindsight, Fordyce’s plan is more reasonable: rather than risk the chance of death in an assault, they could wait until the potentially headstrong Patriots came to them. Thus, the British force, both white and black, marched back along the road taken earlier, with their two new civilians watched under close guard. They managed to reach Norfolk by the morning of December 24, 1775, where Dunmore focused on both celebrating Christmas and defending against aggressors in a war (most certainly not what he had in mind for holiday celebrations). Before he left, however, Dunmore didn’t want to leave without committing at least one combat action, for to do so would have been disgraceful. Dunmore, however, wanted to cut the Virginians deeply. He ordered the Ethiopian Regiment to advance, as professionals, close to the walls of the city. The strong will of the soldiers deeply impressed their white British comrades, and racial animus went down markedly after this, if mainly in British areas. In contrast, the Virginians were livid at these former slaves marching as proud men, and took rage filled shots at them with muskets, killing ten. The rest did not break formation, and rather calmly took a swift march back to the safety of British lines, while white British soldiers alternately shouted encouragement and fired at the Patriots in Williamsburg to offer covering fire. Remarkably, the Ethiopian Regiment retained few casualties, even in this rather dangerous action, only losing another 15 men. Most likely, this had to do with the covering fire laid by their British comrades, but to black slaves who heard of this, it was a sign that they were able to stand up to their purported white betters. As noted in his Memoirs, Edmund Randolph was deeply affected by this, influencing his views on slavery. After this event slave escapes increased greatly from the surrounding area in Virginia, increasing the number of black slaves able to fight in the Ethiopian Regiment. As the great wit Samuel Johnson put it, “Even wounded pride in one man can foment real pride in others”.
In the end, both sides got out of an internecine situation. It is worthy at this point to note that the actions of the people of Williamsburg were widely lampooned, and this incident led to its derogatory nickname “Sellout City” (VII). Williamsburg was criticized by the Boston Gazette as a “shameful city, dishonorable city”, and Pennsylvania Journal, with its tombstone imprinted proudly on the front, denounced the deal as, “Death to the ideal of liberty”. This storm of negative press made many ashamed of the grand position Williamsburg had in Virginia, and accelerated the push for a new capital.
For some months after this, the Virginia front entered a form of stasis. Perhaps inevitably, that stasis was bound to end. Williamsburg needed to regain its honor, and the
“An Analysis of Tactics and Strategy”, school paper, Norfolk Royal University.
_____________________________
Notes:
Main source for Williamsburg was this excellent website:https://encyclopediavirginia.org/en...il 1779.&text=During the American Revolution (1775,moved%20the%20capital%20to%20Richmond.
I: You can’t make this stuff up. Blair was removed from his president for life position multiple times. He had quite bad relations with a few governors, including Edmund Andros and Nicholson and went to England multiple times to petition for removal, including once for Nicholson. Nicholson lost his defence, for a variety of mildly amusing reasons: his principal defender died, he couldn’t appear in person, and the ship that had documents that supported him was captured by the French.
Blair seemed to have excelled at the art of speaking to superiors.
https://encyclopediavirginia.org/entries/blair-james-ca-1655-1743/
II: Firstly, a lot of these guys are pretty cool. Second, I’m not entirely sure whether these men were in Williamsburg at the time, can’t find any sources saying they aren’t. It’s also winter anyway, so I’m disinclined to believe they would up and leave. Also, it would probably ruin their reputations if they didn’t stay.
III: In OTL, John Randolph the Loyalist left with Earl/Lord Dunmore (to clear up any confusion, both titles seem to work). Considering he didn’t actually fight with the British, and instead wanted to reconcile both sides, it would be fair to say he wouldn’t want to jeopardize his own kid.
IV: Plot hints! Don’t you love Plot hints .
V: According to some online reading (specifically, this: https://constitution.laws.com/edmun...ed against the,different areas of the country.) Edmund only had one documented case where he expressed tension between his father and himself regarding the Revolution. This was in a letter, where he worried how his dad’s actions would affect his reputation.
VI: This is also somewhat of a plot hint.
VII: No offense meant to Williamsburg people.

End Note: Alright, so the butterflies start coming. Edmund Randolph was, in OTL, a prominent, high ranking Patriot. I figured him being betrayed, due to association with his Loyalist father, might be enough to cause him to quit the movement in disgust. Loyalties are sometimes fickle.
Apologies for the reupload, my brother looked it over and noted some poor sentences here and there. I also fixed up one section. Hope it's clear.
OMiH.

 

[Our Man in Havana]

Alright, I had fun writing that one. I must admit that I was originally planning for a battle scene, but I realized I had no information on the Patriot presence in Williamsburg, so I took a somewhat more nonviolent route. Don't worry battle lovers, I'll figure something out soon to interest you too .
If anyone has any comments, questions, or suggestions, feel free to say it, it could easily be something I've never heard of.
Yours
OMiH

 

[Our Man in Havana]

Hey Everybody,
Alright, I'm planning on writing a battle scene soon. Figure if I do another almost battle, this will be known as, "The Sting of Almost Getting into Combat" .
I wanted to bring it up first, I figured you all can be helpful in getting me to drop inane ideas.
I have two thoughts:
First, doing some Deep South battles, like the Battle of Great Cane Brake (that was on the 22nd, it's not weird to go back a few days and hit that, is it? I think I have a way to work around it, maybe I'll write the whole thing as a flashback scene or something. I just wanted to check first beforehand) or the Battle of the Rice Boats. I'm inclined to the former, because I'm not really sure how a boat battle description will go for me.
Alternately, I can just "skip" to the 1st of the month and do a "beginning of 1776" overview chapter. This will be broader than the former option, of course. If I do this, hopefully I won't miss anything major.
Thanks, AH viewers, I look forward to your good advice
OMiH.

 

[Our Man in Havana]

My apologies about the absence. I need to update my dictionary for the definition of soon .

Chapter IV: A Bit of the South.
A warning: Gets a bit graphic.

News of the Fight: The Revolution in the Press

War, like sex, scandal, and general immorality, captured public attention. Nothing was better able to encapsulate this than the political cartoon. To the erudite, obscure references delighted the sense, while to the less educated, the pictures keenly captured current events.
One of the most notable, and popular, cartoons of the era was of “Lord Dunmore’s Christmas Feast”. In it, Lord Dunmore is shown at a table, with a dish labelled “Williamsburg” about the be opened. Note that this is more hyperbole than fact.
In addition to this, poetry became prominent in this era. In The Battle of Bleeding Snow, a group of British forces were massacred after fighting occurred in snowy conditions. In a battle taking place on December 23, 1775, in western colonial South Carolina, a Patriot force of 1,300 came upon a British Loyalist force of 500. The Americans intended to catch the enemy unawares; however, the snowy conditions caused the loyalists to hear the American advance, and combat ensued. The Americans were able to, after a time, succeed in combat, though not without casualties. 35 of the 1,300 men lay dead in a field of white, while 52 British loyalists were casualties, both dead and wounded (mainly wounded).
The Americans were livid. What came next was abhorrent.
Rather than be taken to surrender, as was expected under the conduct of a campaign, a small number of British Loyalists were bayoneted to death. Reactions from those who died varied greatly- some begged for life, others remained stoic, some attempted to fight. One man, noted for his ferocity, “caught” the bayonet with his open hand, pulled it from the rifle it was attached to with the other, then yanked out the short blade from his bloody hand and attempted to stab the nearest Patriot. He managed to cut one man across the arm before being shot in the chest.
This act of violence, however, was glossed over in the British papers (which received its news a few months later anyways). It was, instead, the act of a young British Loyalist, whose name was lost to history (mainly due to erroneous record keeping). A young man, who did not flinch in the face of death, but said nothing as he died. This statement, caught by the well sized number of British soldiers who were not killed, at the behest of the commanding officer, William “Danger” Thompson, spread like wildfire among the British.
It inspired the classic poem, that was like a firestorm to the intellect of Britannia.
Woe to those who lain
Upon the ground, the bloody slain
Woe to those who suffered
The deaths of their mighty others
Woe to the Nameless Soldier
Who stared at Death, without thunder
Calmness in the eyes
Of a British soldier who now lies
In bloodstained snow.
Praise to the Honored Major
Stepping forth, to prevent more danger
From befalling any other
Yet! Lo! A step too late
Yet! Lo! What God gave he must take
He, our Lord, took the Nameless Soldier
To his bosom, pressed the young man’s flesh
Said, “Be not afraid”, sans duress.
William Cowper, the poet and man of God, made the Nameless Soldier an object of reverence in Britain, and boosted support for the Loyalist cause.
Snowy Fields: A Retelling
The Battle of Snowy Fields is often considered the “British Boston Massacre”, but there are differences. For one, Snowy Fields was a wartime action. It was engaged against enemy combatants, in a combat zone. The commander had to make decisions on the ground (II) that may have not been moral, but they were tactically correct under the circumstances.

Snowy Fields: The Blunt, Radio Style Retelling
1996, Trenton, New Jersey
JOSEPH: Now, we all know about Snowy Fields, Carol! You don’t need to lecture us.
CAROL: I’m not lecturing you! You’re just ignoring the fact that this isn’t a standalone matter.
J: You keep calling this a massacre, but Boston, that had vitriol, insults, snowballs and tossed objects. They were civilians, the army should have shown restraint.
C: The army, yes. You ignore the crowd, sir.
J: I don’t ignore the crowd. So what if they tossed objects.
C: They tossed objects, insults, and alienation. Besides, I thought this was about Snowy Fields.
J: Yes, yes. December 23, 1775. The Patriots advance, snow is falling, everyone is rather… shall we say miffed. The two forces contact each other, in the snow. Fighting ensues.
The Loyalists lose.
They surrender.
A few are killed with bayonets. A few. Major William Thompson restrains the rest, credit be granted to him.
This was a mostly restrained bit of combat. It was wise, the munitions meant for the Cherokee were recaptured (III). It was tactidally successful.
C: I disagree, strongly. One, the Americans still killed soldiers after the battle was over. That was extrajudicial, that was against the European code of conduct in war. Second, this did not endear the Cherokee to the Americans- they were not anywhere close to idiotic. If a Cherokee heard that the whites were killing each other indiscriminately, and one of those groups had the desire to spread west… well, it’s not too difficult to finish the logical conclusion there.
J: The massacre showed our ability. It was bloody, yeah, I won’t deny it, but it was necessary.
C: How is it, after all I’ve said, you still view it as necessary? It’s this attitude that led to such abhorrent views and actions against the Natives.
J: They were national enemies.
C: Do not repeat the rhetoric of a hundred years ago.
J: It’s my own view. My own view.
C: Then you are a fool for believing it. So many people divided themselves on this issue. The government, for years, divided itself.
J: …. I think we’ll adjourn for now.
The Southern Strategy
The Battle of Snowy Fields, probably unwittingly, led to a rapprochement between Southern Indian tribes and the British. Perhaps rapprochement is an improper term- it was more an alliance of convenience. The matter became especially desperate once the Americans repossessed the large quantity of powder and lead. At this point, the Cherokee did not trust the Patriot cause. In committing the Snowy Fields massacre, the Americans unknowingly created a new, stronger enemy- the Native people.

A Watchful Distance: Europe in the Revolution
After news of this massacre broke a few months after the massacre, European views of the Patriots decidedly cooled. One who did not turn away was the Marquis de Lafayette, the young Gilbert du Motier, who saw liberty and hope in the cause of revolution, and aspired to attain it. For many others, however, the rebels across the ocean were held in contempt, or at most disinterest.
France, for example, saw no interest in aiding a motley group of revolutionaries and murderers. Many contend that the lack of foreign aid led to what befell the secessionist colonies: rather than a victory, full out and for the eye to see, they had to accept less than what they wanted.

________________________________
OK, so not the best battle scene, and my info above isn’t the most in depth, and is probably confusing. I’ll explain.
First, the Battle of Great Cane Brake was an OTL battle that was a day earlier than the date I used here. On this day, December 23, there was a massive amount of snow falling that gave a ton of people frostbite.
The Battle pertains to a shipment of munitions sent by the South Carolinians (specifically, 1,000 pounds of powder, and 2,000 pounds of lead) to the Cherokee, in an attempt to curry influence. The British Loyalists intercepted said quantity of munitions, which prompted the Americans to send a force to fight them and take the powder and lead. This led to the OTL battle.
Second, I wanted to add in some controversy to the conflict, from a different perspective- namely, American on British. The world should be more nuanced, and having a massacre early in the war will make it just that. Also, continental Europe will not look kindly upon this.
In all, I wanted this to be a bit of a point on massacres and depredations- there is no quixotic war. The Revolution was, for all intents and purposes, the first Civil War, and, as occurs in wars between family members, bitterness and acrimony ensued.


Hope this is enjoyed by you all.

 

[Our Man in Havana]

We, the signatories of this document, do solemnly declare, before mankind and God, that the British tyranny in our land will remain no longer. We affirm that:
British perfidy in Virginia is a cause for distaste and fear among the Colonists
Skullduggery and treachery humiliated this Colony upon the world stage,
Our sacred liberties curtailed by a cruel power overseas
We do affirm, then:
That we affirm the power of this Colony to be, in effect, a colony no more, and to ensure independence from Britain.
May the blessings of God be upon our cause.
January 19, 1776

The Richmond Resolves came about for a few reasons:
First, due to the commonly known embarrassment of the “Surrender of Norfolk”. This is the popular reason, and is correct in part: Virginia wanted to reject the catcalls of fools and traitors that were bandied about from other colonies.
The second, more interesting reason is to curry support from other colonies. Which certainly worked. Benjamin Edes of the Boston Gazette noted the, “Power of New Virginia in this bold declaration”.
Virginia, in the issuance of this declaration, sought to anger Britain, and soothe the anger of other colonies.
Two Lands: The North and the South in the War
________________
Alright, this is super short. In OTL, the Halifax Resolves, from North Carolina, was the first document calling for independence. In this one, it’s Virginia, because that’s the center of the action and they seem irate enough to try it. Again, pardon the delay, this was bad of me.

 

[Our Man in Havana]

The Man and the Mountain: Part I
Near the Blue Ridge Mountains. Winter, 1775
Partially inspired by Red Dead Redemption II
Josiah crouched next to the carcass of a deer. An arrow protruded from the animal’s chest- his arrow. Josiah initially made to remove the arrow, though he hesitated- he did not want to leave small parts of the head or shart in the carcass. Thus, he lifted the deer- his meal, for today, tomorrow, and perhaps after- and took it with him to his site.
Josiah lived alone. He had a wife, and a daughter… both gone, to the same disease. The girl, Mary, had a child’s disease. She succumbed quickly. In her grief, the mother, Josephine, died a few months later, in the act of giving birth to a child- who was dead from the womb.
At the time, Josiah was a merchant in Richmond. Yet after their deaths, he could not focus in a land of numbers and goods. He could not see prosperity.
He could not see happy children. Living children, not a wisp of a girl and a miniscule baby, buried side by side. And so, he set off west.
It was hard, at first. He saw them everyday, shrouds from beyond the grave. In the trees, in the rivers, in those gorgeous mountains, he saw his family. After a while, he grew to accept it. His grief became a part of him. It seems fitting that grief led him to these mountains, a land taken by colonists from Indians he knew not the name of.
Josiah has been in the Blue Ridge Mountains for seven years. He tries to avoid others- they bring nothing but curiosity and trouble with them. Though if they bring more- threats, violence- he did have an old musket he traded some pelts for 2 winters ago. He used it to hunt in the past, but he preferred the bow- though it took a while to learn, it seems steadier, calmer, less disruptive to nature than the brash and often inaccurate firing of the guns.
Josiah returned to his site. It is a tent with a fire adjacent to it. Tall trees surrounding it keep out the wind and some of the snow. At this point, he would have laid down the carcass had he not seen a curious sight out of the corner of his eye. A rustling near those snow covered trees to his right.
“Whoever’s walking there, you’d best come out. It would be troublesome for you, if you don’t.” Josiah said.
Silence answered. Josiah stood for another moment, then set down his carcass on a tarp. Among his supplies, he removed a large knife used for cutting meat. He proceeded to cut the meat- slowly and methodically, so as not to dull or chip the blade on bone. He then turned to his fire, and set to work setting it alight rubbing two sticks together. After a few minutes, flame came into being. Josiah wasn’t particularly sure why, though he generally avoided the forest around the time of storms- he stuck near rivers. It took him just six months to learn that, one of his more searing lessons- and all it took was the charred remains of a tree.
A second rustling near the trees, on his right. No birds, no breathing of animals.
‘A hunter?’ Josiah thought. ‘A trapper?’
Josiah reached for his musket, which he kept inside his tent. A ball was already inserted, and he was careful enough to keep it away from any rain or other material that is corrosive to the gun.
Josiah walked, slowly, backwards. He had the intention to flank whomever was near him- no snow has fallen in the past few hours, so it would be easy to see the tracks and figure out where the person near him was.
Josiah got to the trees behind him. He then went in a circular route, slowly and silently. He stopped, upon seeing the footprints he was looking for. They were not what he expected- too small, awkward for this snow.
Josiah heard rustling in the trees. Above him, to his left. He turned there, pointing his gun at the noise making beast.
It was a human, actually. A boy, no older than 17. He was terrified.
on’t! In the name of God, don’t fire!” he screeched.
“Calm, boy. I won’t harm you.” Josiah said, softly. “Come down from there.”
“I… don’t want to fall.”
“You won’t fall, you’ll jump. It’s not a hard motion.”
The boy jumped.

1 week later:
‘Don’t hold your breath. You’ll release it at a poor time. Adjust your form, boy. Get lower, you won’t shift as much. Aim…. fire!’
The boy shot Josiah’s musket. Both men were wearing thick clothing- snow fell in abundance. Less animals than ever came near. The two had to work, assiduously and swiftly, to catch even the weakest of animals.
‘Strange,” Josiah thought ‘I came to rely upon this boy so quickly. He is smart, and quick, and smaller than I. Sadly, he has a gift for speech.’
‘Josiah, did I shoot well? Did I?’
‘Yes, Abraham. You did well.’
The boy, Abraham, grinned. He had a youthful innocence, greatly out of place with this life of coldness and brutality. Josiah hoped he would soon drop it, he imagined it would get Abraham killed one day.
After Abraham jumped (it was more like a flailing leap that miraculously landed him on his feet), he quickly grew from being afraid to being fascinated by the hunter he saw before him. Josiah, in turn, grew from irritation to contentment in the presence of the boy- he was smart and humorous. ‘This is far better than those long nights alone.’
The two went to the nearest stream, a small thing, to search for some water. The stream was often covered with a thin layer of ice, which they were able to break with the butt of the musket. They were then able to access the refreshing water beneath it.
They were about to collect the water using their usual method, but they suddenly stopped.
There were two people at the stream already.
_________________________
Josiah noticed the taller man first. He had a brown sash around his upper body, with an object sticking out the back. ‘Is it a knife, or a gun?’ Josiah wondered. He had a light skin complexion, and a thin beard. His eyes were as grey as steel. He was wearing a thick coat and pants.
The second man, shorter, rounder, had a repugnant face. It reminded Josiah of a sick, disheveled horse he once saw in Richmond- same beady eyes, same look of cold resignation and contempt. He was dressed in deerskin, the dark skin making him look truly evil. He held a knife in his hand, covered with a dark color. Blood.
In short, bad men.
The taller one stepped forward. He stood there, silent as a stone, for a few moments, analyzing one, then the other. Then, he nodded.
“You two… livin’ here?” He questioned.
“Here? No.” Said Josiah, guardedly.
The shorter one squinted.
“What you come here for?” said the small man.
“Water.”
“The boy… he don’t look like you” said the tall man.
That was true. Josiah was tall, stocky, brown haired and bushy bearded. He had a weathered face due to the years in the wilderness. Abraham’s physiognomy was like the newborn babe- a sweet, often ebullient complexion.
“Yes.” Josiah simply stated.
The tall man looked at him.
“You a supporter of the King?”
Josiah was silent for a moment. He was never the most political man, and news trickled slowly to the mountains. He was aware something massive was occurring, though he knew not what.
“I’m loyal to Virginia” He stated, hedging between treasonous talk and loyalism, both of which may get him killed with the wrong crowd. Josiah was never one for politics, and since the death of his family, he abhorred any path that strove for bloodshed.
The tall man was importunate.
“Virginia? Virginia’s torn as of now. Dunmore and those dogs holding onto Norfolk and not much else,” (I).
“You aren’t a supporter of the King?.” Josiah agreed, calmly.
Both men stared at him. The first one slowly moved his right hand back, to whatever was held in the sash. Josiah, in turn, slowly tilted his musket to face the man. The short man crouched slightly, fingering the knife.
“That blood there… Is it yours?” Josiah asked.
“Not your trouble.” The Short Man said.
Silence held. For five seconds, five long seconds, not a sound was heard around them. Not a bird chirped, not a deer was heard off in the woods, nor was there rustling.
Stillness reigned.
Josiah, wishing perhaps to sate his curiosity, asked once more,
“Where’s that blood from, I said?”
The Short Man let out a harsh laugh.
“The blood was from a few days ago. I used it, on a fella, outside some town. Hamish and I were half starved. Needed his food, he had some on him... easy decision.”
“Ain’t no point in keeping it quiet now.” whispered the Tall Man.
“No. I guess not.” said Josiah.
Silence reigned again. Indeed, the king they all bowed to was not George, if any of them did at this point. It was that Great Overseer, Quiet.
It all ended soon. The Tall Man broke the peace, he reached behind his back. It was a knife, a small knife, one that could be tossed. Josiah raised it the slight amount needed to point his gun at the man’s chest. The knife is about to be tossed in the air. Josiah fired.

 

[Our Man in Havana]

Hello again everyone,
I'm on break at the moment, so I imagine with all likelihood I can work on this more than i was... that is to say, more than once a month or two weeks .
Be well, internet readers.

 

[HMS Nelson (28)]

Absolutely incredible! Your writing style is very elegant, and the detail is most wonderful to see. I hope to see more of this excellent work. Well done sir!

 

[Our Man in Havana]

Oh my, thank you so much! I've been into short story making for a little while, I saw some great YouTube videos on it, and some friends and my teacher are into that sort of thing as well and are pretty good writers themselves. I think I'll try this 'in universe short story' concept more, it'll be very fun and good practice for me!
Do you have any suggestions to improve my writing, or sources? I'm always open to new ideas and places to take it along .

 

[HMS Nelson (28)]

Lucky that you have those people around to help with your writing. It helps when you have somebody to tell you what you missed or did wrong. As for suggestions, I think that what you've got is pretty good, although I would say that your descriptions of what's happening could be a little clearer. For example:

It all ended soon. The Tall Man broke the peace, he reached behind his back. It was a knife, a small knife, one that could be tossed. Josiah raised it the slight amount needed to point his gun at the man’s chest. The knife is about to be tossed in the air. Josiah fired.

This is pretty good, but I personally find your use of the present tense, as well as way it's worded in general, a bit jarring. On the other hand, you described Josiah very well, and overall I think that's your main strength. That's just my opinion though, and I'd be happy to see what other people have to say. Keep it up!

 

[Our Man in Havana]

Thanks, I like your view there. I'll keep that in mind for the future .