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A recent recruit to the Board. Hailing from Finland, Hazazel has been involved with the origins of not one but two Board religions - he is the Prophet of Vodkaism and the St Paul figure in Giant Beeism.

He is renowned for his traditionalist and patriarchalist views. Fellatio Nelson calls him “Hazel” and Thande, out of a sense of balance, reinserts the missing -az- to name him “Hazazazel”.