WI: Star Wars wasnt made for children

Discussion in 'Alternate History Books and Media' started by Scarecrow, Feb 11, 2005.

  1. Scarecrow Dieudonné

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    Aug 27, 2004
    WI Lucus desided to make Star Wars aimed at the teen/adult audience, staring from the tilogy?

    the slave dance scene in Jedi would have been longer and involved less clothes
    no damn anakin as a snot-nosed kid.
    C3PO would be like No. 6 in Battlestar Galactica
    ???
     
  2. Pax Britannia Member

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    No Jar Jar
    No Ewoks
    More graphicaly violent lightsaber duels
     
  3. Othniel Comrade General-Secretary

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    Wider use of Slugthrowers and Vibroblades throughout the movies.
    Widespread slaughter of Ithorians by the empire. Beheadings shown.
    Driods wouldn't be the ones tourting Princess Leah.
     
  4. NapoleonXIV Banned

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    America, Home of the fee and the knave
    Natalie Portman full frontal nudity
    More details of slave trade
    Carrie Fisher full frontal nudity
    Bar scenes featuring truly exotic dancers
    Yoda full frontal nudity
     
  5. KJM divided by zero

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    Can anyone really be sure?
    Mace Windu would have had a different vocabulary. ;)
     
  6. Count Dearborn Headmaster of St. Trinians

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    There would have been hookers in the cantina scene in the first movie. Han Solo, in his first scene, would have had a hooker on his lap. Jabba would have molested Leia.
     
  7. Pax Britannia Member

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    :D :D

    "punk as bitch sith mutha"
     
  8. DominusNovus Humbled by Fate

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    Oh God, I hope MEJ doesn't read that. :D

    As for stuff that would be different...

    Well, we've got the internet, kiddies. Google up some of this stuff. And don't be shocked by what you find. :cool:
     
  9. Belken Member

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    Feb 2, 2005
    Yoda getting it on with princess Leia.
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2005
  10. edvader Member

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    Feb 13, 2004
    :p :D What if GAMBLING were included in the cantinas?Roulette wheels, the equivalent of poker games.LOL:I am shocked! Shocked! To find it going on.(Thanks for my winnings, he says as he is given the cash-apologies to Claude Rains in a certain Bogart Film! :rolleyes: :p But then if gambling DOES go on it would be the beginning of a beautiful friendship! :D :D :) ;) :cool:
     
  11. robertp6165 Confederate Troll

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    AAAARRRRGGGHHHH! I've been struck blind, just thinking about it!!!!! :eek:
     
  12. Xen Banned

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    Really Star Wars wasnt made for the kids to begin with, it was made for all audiences so kids could watch. It was ROTJ that started the trend of making it for kids, those damn Ewoks, followed by that stupid brat 10 yearold getting into the panties of a 14 year old Queen in TPM, with JarJar taking pictures *gar*


    If you notice ROTJ and TPM are considered the worst of the series so far, even most classic Star Wars fans put AOTC above ROTJ, it was far darker and not so childish. Lucas allowed it to go chilidish because it makes more money, he lost intrest in telling the story.

    Now read some of the early books, I think its Splinter of the Minds Eye, it was written after ANH and before ESB, its one adults will enjoy. Lets just say Luke and Leia get close, it doesnt come out and say it, but one can see where it seems as though brother and sister got "busy". I could even hear Star Wars sounding porn music starting up.

    Now if Lucas went to make it for adults, Leia would probably have been topless in ROTJ, if Carrie Fisher would allow it. While on the topic of that sexy slave outfit (Considered borderline pornography in 1983) what was with Leia's stupid looking shoes? They look like something one would find on a Christmas Elf, she should have either been barefooted or wearing sandles like the Twilek girl was. I think that would have been more appropriate for a sexy slave outfit.
     
  13. Xen Banned

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    In the expanded Universe there kind of was, the Tonnika sisters. They were women of easy virtue, and con artists.
     
  14. Strategos' Risk Oriental Orientalist

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    I think you guys are turning up the adult content rating too far. Most of what’s been listed wouldn’t have been acceptable for an R rated movie in 1977, as far as I can tell. Also, you have to realize that Star Wars was originally created by George Lucas as his own weird artistic modern-bedtime-story-mythological-culmination-project. To make it geared towards adults specifically would be making it not Star Wars, and rather a porno/Bruckheimer spin-off instead.

    Besides, all of the sexual ideas listed are way too sexual for the time. Maybe Leia briefly shows skin, but I don’t think Carrie Fisher would be willing to go full frontal, maybe topless. I can’t think of Natalie Portman of being able to go nude at all, though giving the handmaidens an actual job onscreen is… intriguing. (After all, what’s the point of having six servants, other than have them help Amidala put on her gigantic dresses and take them off?)

    Violence might go well, though I don’t think it’ll be up to the amount of modern action flicks. Besides, for a PG film Star Wars ANH is gruesome at some points- the one guy getting his arm chopped off by Obi-Wan and Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru becoming charred skeletons. Then again, that’s only because PG-13 wasn’t invented until after the Temple of Doom was released.

    Language- don’t know if more is necessary. I always wondered why Han Solo exclaimed “hell,” though. Of course, at this point, that obscure reference of a line is either a part of the expanded universe (like “nerf-herder) or an entire movie (like “Clone Wars”).
     
  15. Duncan random wandering idiot

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    Feb 5, 2004
    Probably wouldn't be a trilogy, it would have folded after the first film.
     
  16. General Mung Beans Banned

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    Darth Vader would be depicted as a sadistic and homicidal maniac and the violence would be shown more.

    Obi Wan and Anakin will have a sexual relationship
     
  17. vultan Defying Gravity

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    If you look real closely, the Twi-lek dancer in episode 6 has a wardrobe malfunction.
    But my real point is, why are people assuming that making it more adult oriented means graphic violence, full-frontal nudity, and heavy swearing? Why not make it (gasp) intelligent?
     
  18. Atreus Deceased

    One word: Hollywood.
     
  19. Nae'Blis Nae'Blis

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    May 23, 2008
    I think that Anakin as a snot nosed kid would have happend regardless. He wasn't placed there to appeal to children. And C3PO was intended for comic relief so he might very well be much the same if Lucas is still aiming to make it broadly accesible.
     
  20. Major Major Tired Old Man

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    Oh, you mean like:

    MACE: "We admit you to this council, but we do not grant you the rank of Jedi Master."

    ANAKIN: "What?"

    MACE: "What planet you from!?"

    ANAKIN: "What?"

    MACE: "What ain't no planet I ever heard of!!" *pause* *deep breath* "Describe what General Grievous look like!"

    ANAKIN: "What?"

    MACE: "Say 'What?' again!? I double-dog dare you, say 'What' again!?"

    YODA: "Calm you should be, Mace Windu."

    MACE: "I don't remember asking you a <BLEEP> thing!"

    ANAKIN: "He's not as big as I expected."

    MACE: "AND!?"




    (From various remixes intercutting dialogue from "Pulp Fiction".)