Ok, so my wider point that America was already exhausted by the time Tet came still stands?
Yes.
Easier said then done. Every RVN government from Diem on had land reform on the agenda. The issue was that the South had a far stronger land owning class than the North did (and even there Land Reform ended up being a messy affair). Any alternative to the DRV/NLF would need to court this faction or simply implode from lack of support.
Hence why the government had to be written off and the US would have to support it's own popular revolutionary group that offered an alternative to the VC and displaces it. As the Americans are not necessarily beholden to South Vietnamese landlords, simply shooting those who object is an option... an unsavory option, but still an option.
EDIT: Found it. It's a bit different then how I remember but largely follows a similar track:
So how would you win as a military commander?
Well, you have to stretch your authority a bit. Two key things have to be realized: the first is that no matter the rhetoric, the Government of South Vietnam (GVN) is not in fact a legitimate body nor is South Vietnam a truly legitimate nation, and the Communist insurgency is more an indigenous than an external phenomenon. The other is that only when the South can stand on its own two feet do you have a chance of winning the ultimate objectives of the war.
So, your objectives are to turn the GVN into a legitimate body in the eyes of the people; to give it the military might to defend itself, and, more importantly, the political will to resist popular Communist encroachment. Along the way you need to weaken the Communist threat enough to buy the time needed to strengthen the GVN.
By 1965 Diem has already been killed (I don't think he could have pulled it off anyway), and you're stuck with a Junta of increasingly corrupt and ineffectual generals cum politicians. Also American regular forces are starting to arrive in numbers.
Firstly we need to halt the entry of regular troops, keeping numbers relatively low - no more than 100,000. Instead of conventional battle, the focus would be on special forces to hunt the insurgents on their own terms. Large scale military options would be kept as rare as possible, with small teams of elite US and ARVN soldiers hunting down VC and VPA bands the preferred methods. Massive aid would be diverted to the countryside, particularly education and land reform. If we need to get rid of the landowners, so be it - arrest them on bullshit charges, or bribe them with houses in Hollywood, or whatever. Every effort would be made to undercut the leaders of the GVN (a paradox given the goals, I know) and subvert their control of the populace. Why? Because at this point we'd consider them a lost cause. Similarly American units would be attached to ARVN formations and GVN control would be routinely subverted, with the US even paying ARVN soldiers and promoting new commanders. The government would be kept as pliable as possible by having the strongest American units around their homes in Saigon and the CIA keeping a close eye on them. Basically we're turning them into puppets in fact - out right threatening them at times if need be and even, hey, a few more accidents.
Meanwhile, we'd seek authorization to bomb not South Vietnam, but North Vietnam, hitting them hard enough to keep their involvement in the South to a minimum and make the Chinese and Russians seriously consider just how much they were willing to commit to all this. Bombing would not be unrestricted, but it would focus on key things like transportation routes and centers to slow the movement of supplies south.
Now, in a few years the Communists will hopefully have been forced to keep involvement fairly low, the ARVN will be conditioned to be an effective fighting force rather than a political tool and will be essentially under the control of American leadership. American troops will mostly be small special forces teams, with the regular units bulking out ARVN formations and keeping the South's leaders nicely in hand. Meanwhile the peasants will have been increasingly educated and enfranchised, and - and this is very important - offered another option to that of either Communism or corruption. In essence we'd have undercut the GVN and hijacked the Communist land revolution.
Then we get the CIA to spur increasing calls by the peasants for government reform. Given the undemocratic nature of the GVN this means a lot of increasingly loud and violent protests. We keep the ARVN from interfering and hamstring any efforts by the junta and the elites to crush the peasants, and then help them usher in a new government. Now, while we don't overreact to any socialist elements in the new revolution obviously the Communists will try to influence it in some manner and we keep a close eye on that. However, if we've done our job properly the people shouldn't see a radical change to Communism as an attractive option (different from if they're being oppressed by a corrupt bunch of oligarchs and have no better choices) and should turn away from it on their own. If we can nurture it properly, we should be able to end up with a popular and (fairly) democratic government that is (moderately) anti-communist, and has a (US led) professional and non-political army at its command.
From there on we continue the transition of real power to the new government. If the new GVN are truly competent they won't want us controlling the armed forces and we have to facilitate a smooth transition. They'll also probably want to come to terms with the North. Again, no panic. Let them. So long as they have an independant streak and a strong military we shouldn't be overreacting to compromises with Communists. Instead we give them plenty of financial aid, and keep a low key but pervasive level of support in country.
Now, with a great deal of work, huge dollops of deviousness, and not a little luck we should have been able to create a free and stable non-Communist South.
Anyway, that's the bones of my master plan.
Basically, in order to ensure the independence of South Vietnam the country, first your gonna have to crush the independence of South Vietnam the Government...
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