The First Alternate Party Run-Down Thread
- Thread starter Cevolian
- Start date
A Liberal Democracy - Cevolian
A Liberal Democracy
Major Parties:
National Liberal Helena Bonham Carter has finally managed to pass a Land Value Tax, and all it took was Nigel Farage accusing her of betraying the party's principles. Which, to be fair isn't ridiculous - it is a little suspicious that the National Liberals' radical turn has come shortly after Asquith's great granddaughter entered power...
Independent Liberal Timothy Lloyd-George has proposed that the party change its name to "The Progressives", much to the consternation of his father, former PM William Lloyd-George, but since Timothy will probably be leader when the party finally realises Jo Cox isn't ever going to be PM it doesn't much matter what his father thinks.
Liberal Putting "The Party of Gladstone" on your logo doesn't make you real heirs to the Liberal Party... when even the Asquiths have jumped ship to the Nats it's over. David Cameron celebrating the "fortieth anniversary" of the last Liberal government was just sad, especially when the last Liberal PM's niece is Prime Minister in a Nat government...
Minor Parties:
The Radicals The only relevant party in Britain which doesn't have "Liberal" in its name is currently celebrating its foundation as a merger of the Independent Progressives and the ILP (the Labour one) in 1948... by former Liberal MP Richard Acland...
Conservative and Unionists Being a Protectionist Party in 2018 isn't nearly as cool as the Tories think it is, and since three quarters of their voters at the last general election now support the government it isn't likely they'll be making a comeback any time soon. That and a YouGov poll showed that 25% of Brits don't actually know they still exist.
Workers' Party Richard Burgon has launched his second attempt at reviving the Labour Party in four years... as he automatically inherited his own former MPs (sitting as Independents until now) and has his own post as Mayor of Leeds still (which is a big drop for a man who was in cabinet however briefly) I have to include this as a "minor party" if the Tories are one.
CPGB Are they under the pay of the All Russian Socialist Party? Who knows... all I know is that they win a couple of by-elections in the North and Scotland every so often and otherwise do nothing. The news coming out of the Milne inquiry is the most boring thing in British politics at the moment, in that Communism hasn't been A Thing since the 1960s.
Regional Parties:
Plaid Ryddfrydol Cymru - Liberalism for Wales Leanne Wood has announced this week that she won't run again as member of the Welsh Parliament if the leadership agreees to an electoral alliance with the Independent Liberals, which is a... strange choice in that she was an Independent Liberal MP before her conversion to radical Welsh Nationalism...
Scottish Unionists John Swinney's relationship with Bonham Carter is increasingly complicated with the passage of the LVT since his party is financed by large Scottish Landowners, and officially condemned the policy on Thursday. But since his party only has 7 seats in the Scottish Parliament and only one in the Commons (who is also a Nat) this may not be an issue.
Scottish National Party If anyone in England knew who this party WHICH IS THE OPPOSITION NOW IN SCOTLAND was then they might be hitting the news. But since the election was last month it seems unlikely they will.
Ulster Unionists Agressively purging the Orange Order types again after the Liberal Party of Ulster suggested it disaffiliate from the Liberals to join the Nats (which would shaft the UUP's tacit alliance if accepted) even though this won't happen.
Nationalist (Ireland) Gleeful in its watching the UUP and LPU explode into infighting at Stormont... they might even be able to win some voting rights for Catholics if they can play the two sides off each other. Which is ridiculously long overdue, of course.
Liberal Party of Ulster As mentioned above, they're currently working on creating Nat sympathising fetish porn for James Napier, but are also the main sensible-but-still-Unionist Party in Northern Ireland, and are thus still sympathetic.
Who?
United Momentum Max Mosley's claim that his party isn't a continuation of his father's old movement has been somewhat scuppered this week by the revelation that a pamphlet he denied existed in a libel trial five years ago has been found to be real by the Daily Mail and is entitled "A New and United momentum for our movement". But then the party literally shares the Union Movement's initials and is overtly fascist so that hasn't helped either.
Anti-Federalist League As Federalism has been a consensus issue since the 40s/50s Alan Sked's weird little party seems pretty out of touch if that's what this weirdo vague Party is about? Also he goes on weird rants about the Liberals all "selling the country out for European integration" when only UM support that and Free Trade deals with Europe are, again, a consensus.
The New Whigs Even for a country which has only had governments led by parties descended from the Liberals since the 1940s a Whig revival is probably too much.
The Illiberal Party The name sounds really fashy, but they're actually just a stairical joke Party about how weird it is we only have Liberal Parties. (They're the same folks who brought us the Official National Independent Liberal Party in 2005)
To clarify, we post a satirical statement mocking each political party of an ATL country after "checking" their party website, but we write it as if we are part of that ATL?
Party Rundown 2038 - Gorrister
Party Rundown 2038
Government Parties
Labour: Madigan's just announced the use of direct rule to prevent Amazon's private security forces being used on Crown Territories (the ones that aren't about to fall into the sea). In other news, getting the libertarian right to hate her for more than her existence. Also Kate Tempest Will Never Be Labour Leader.
Fianna Fáil: Riding high on the Second Pork surge, but also showing remarkably little opposition to Madigan's decision, given that it was done in response to a decision taken by the Irish government...who are controlled by, erm...
Yorkshire Party: Despite years of calls for change, the Yorkshire Party kept their control of the Mayorality by a landslide. Deal with Labour? What deal with Labour?
Opposition
Conservative: Briggs defended Madigan's character at the conference to uproarious booing. Shows what an 'elder statesman' at the age of 55 gets in terms of respect. Oh and renaming the party came up. All the usual suggestions: "NDP," "Reform"..."Renewal"? When did George Osborne's ghost get here?
Liberal Democrats: Mason receiving flack for walking out on an ALDE meeting. Anything to stay in the news after Lord Clegg retired, I guess.
LeftUnity: Pretty hard to keep going when your own leader has dropped out to be a lecturer in Leeds.
Northern Ireland
Democratic Unionist Party: Are currently saying they warned the Scottish Government of St. Enoch's collapse, due to the firm that was involved having been an early partner in the Bridge to Scotland. Read a room, guys.
Sinn Féin: Are going through the 500,000th question of if they'll take their seats in the run up to another controversial vote in parliament. The answer is still...what's the Irish word for no? There isn't one?
Fianna Fáil: see above
Alliance: "We are not the Belfast Metropolitan Area party" screamed Judith Cochrane as she shrunk and turned into a corncob.
Ulster Alternative: Well someone needed to have Ulster in the name after the UUP. Shame it had to be these fine fellows, led by someone called "Dale Pankhurst". Right, no, I know you're trying to hide amongst the fine folks of Northern Ireland, but please return to the Murder, She Wrote episode from whence you came.
We Demand Answers!: No idea about this party. Presume the questions they want answers to aren't very pleasant.
People Before Profit: Gerry Carroll's still going. Bloody hell mate well done, but you'll need to throw the towel in before you pop a blood vessel.
Scotland
Rally for Scotland!: Struggling to keep up their lead in the Parliament after Boyd condemned the refusal to expel tankies. Of course, they can just resort to their typical strategy of blaming the previous government, which...ah, that might be difficult.
Scottish Conservatives: Their leader was pictured drinking chardonnay with one of the firms responsible for poor renovations at St. Enoch. Clearly a disgrace, surely they would be able to afford champagne at the least.
Scottish Labour: Coming under fire after failing to issue a statement after St. Enoch. It's not as if they were working on the scene...oh, they were? Shit this disrupts The Narrative. Quick, they spent some money on party infrastructure! Scandal!
Scottish Liberal Democrats: Have announced a Third Referendum would have to be done on more than two options and on a list. Right, keep talking mates...
Scottish National Party: One of their councilmembers is implicated in the St. Enoch Centre collapse. Rivers of Rubble idk
Scottish Greens: Pretty much the only Green party to have serious success in the UK, so good for them, I guess.
Caledonia Unite: The Scottish Libertarians under another name have a few councillors defecting to them after the Tories endorsed nationalising a Glasgow bottling company.
Wales
Plaid Cymru: Gruffyd is musing ending his show on Russia Today and returning to the party leadership. Sorry, did I say musing? I meant threatening. Also traditional moans about changing the party colour. Oh just go form a minor party already.
Welsh Labour: Junior partner in a coalition is a pretty humiliating fate, except when you seem to be accomplishing more than your senior partners.
Welsh Conservatives: Accidentally put a raging transphobe and former Trump adviser on their Disputes Board. Just...how???
Welsh Liberal Democrats: One of their MLA's converted to Islam, and no, it isn't a problem.
Minor Parties
Will: Lead by Jack Buckby, so I presume they're missing the words "Triumph of the".
Build Britain: Sean Spooner's latest technocracy-fest is doing stunningly well, on a brilliant 306 votes in Bristol. Keep trying there Sean, you'll pull through soon enough.
Justice: Allegedly ended a youth meeting with capsules of Brick and a Lil Peep vinyl. In which case, they are en route to form the next council majority in Brighton.
For Britain: Anne-Marie Waters' next London bid will definitely be a victory for Hardworking (White) Britons, I swear. Just put the money in the bag...
NotPolitics: Right then nothing to see here surely.
Green Democratic Left for Britain's Future: Adding words isn't the same as adding votes, sorry.
It's Our County: Came...second in a parliamentary by-election?
Government Parties
Labour: Madigan's just announced the use of direct rule to prevent Amazon's private security forces being used on Crown Territories (the ones that aren't about to fall into the sea). In other news, getting the libertarian right to hate her for more than her existence. Also Kate Tempest Will Never Be Labour Leader.
Fianna Fáil: Riding high on the Second Pork surge, but also showing remarkably little opposition to Madigan's decision, given that it was done in response to a decision taken by the Irish government...who are controlled by, erm...
Yorkshire Party: Despite years of calls for change, the Yorkshire Party kept their control of the Mayorality by a landslide. Deal with Labour? What deal with Labour?
Opposition
Conservative: Briggs defended Madigan's character at the conference to uproarious booing. Shows what an 'elder statesman' at the age of 55 gets in terms of respect. Oh and renaming the party came up. All the usual suggestions: "NDP," "Reform"..."Renewal"? When did George Osborne's ghost get here?
Liberal Democrats: Mason receiving flack for walking out on an ALDE meeting. Anything to stay in the news after Lord Clegg retired, I guess.
LeftUnity: Pretty hard to keep going when your own leader has dropped out to be a lecturer in Leeds.
Northern Ireland
Democratic Unionist Party: Are currently saying they warned the Scottish Government of St. Enoch's collapse, due to the firm that was involved having been an early partner in the Bridge to Scotland. Read a room, guys.
Sinn Féin: Are going through the 500,000th question of if they'll take their seats in the run up to another controversial vote in parliament. The answer is still...what's the Irish word for no? There isn't one?
Fianna Fáil: see above
Alliance: "We are not the Belfast Metropolitan Area party" screamed Judith Cochrane as she shrunk and turned into a corncob.
Ulster Alternative: Well someone needed to have Ulster in the name after the UUP. Shame it had to be these fine fellows, led by someone called "Dale Pankhurst". Right, no, I know you're trying to hide amongst the fine folks of Northern Ireland, but please return to the Murder, She Wrote episode from whence you came.
We Demand Answers!: No idea about this party. Presume the questions they want answers to aren't very pleasant.
People Before Profit: Gerry Carroll's still going. Bloody hell mate well done, but you'll need to throw the towel in before you pop a blood vessel.
Scotland
Rally for Scotland!: Struggling to keep up their lead in the Parliament after Boyd condemned the refusal to expel tankies. Of course, they can just resort to their typical strategy of blaming the previous government, which...ah, that might be difficult.
Scottish Conservatives: Their leader was pictured drinking chardonnay with one of the firms responsible for poor renovations at St. Enoch. Clearly a disgrace, surely they would be able to afford champagne at the least.
Scottish Labour: Coming under fire after failing to issue a statement after St. Enoch. It's not as if they were working on the scene...oh, they were? Shit this disrupts The Narrative. Quick, they spent some money on party infrastructure! Scandal!
Scottish Liberal Democrats: Have announced a Third Referendum would have to be done on more than two options and on a list. Right, keep talking mates...
Scottish National Party: One of their councilmembers is implicated in the St. Enoch Centre collapse. Rivers of Rubble idk
Scottish Greens: Pretty much the only Green party to have serious success in the UK, so good for them, I guess.
Caledonia Unite: The Scottish Libertarians under another name have a few councillors defecting to them after the Tories endorsed nationalising a Glasgow bottling company.
Wales
Plaid Cymru: Gruffyd is musing ending his show on Russia Today and returning to the party leadership. Sorry, did I say musing? I meant threatening. Also traditional moans about changing the party colour. Oh just go form a minor party already.
Welsh Labour: Junior partner in a coalition is a pretty humiliating fate, except when you seem to be accomplishing more than your senior partners.
Welsh Conservatives: Accidentally put a raging transphobe and former Trump adviser on their Disputes Board. Just...how???
Welsh Liberal Democrats: One of their MLA's converted to Islam, and no, it isn't a problem.
Minor Parties
Will: Lead by Jack Buckby, so I presume they're missing the words "Triumph of the".
Build Britain: Sean Spooner's latest technocracy-fest is doing stunningly well, on a brilliant 306 votes in Bristol. Keep trying there Sean, you'll pull through soon enough.
Justice: Allegedly ended a youth meeting with capsules of Brick and a Lil Peep vinyl. In which case, they are en route to form the next council majority in Brighton.
For Britain: Anne-Marie Waters' next London bid will definitely be a victory for Hardworking (White) Britons, I swear. Just put the money in the bag...
NotPolitics: Right then nothing to see here surely.
Green Democratic Left for Britain's Future: Adding words isn't the same as adding votes, sorry.
It's Our County: Came...second in a parliamentary by-election?
Canada Run-Down No.1 - Oppo
Major Parties
Conservative: Raitt is still appearing weak, and the backbenchers (BRAD TROST GIVES A CREEPY WINK) aren’t helping with the US border issues.
CCF: Angus is trying to appear hip and in touch with da youf. That’s bitchin.
NewLiberal: Ken Dryden is back and making the rounds on trying to keep Canada in the American Union. Cute.
Other Parties
Canuck Independent: Can anyone actually remember their leader’s name without having to open Wikipedia?
Ecology.ca: Are still trying to pull off this ludicrous name stunt.
United Farmers: They’ve got some idea about having as many MPs from the West being farmers as possible.
Nationalist Parties
Ralliement des creditistes du Québec: Gilles Bernier’s BBC show is creating a ton of controversy. How dare he even be in the same room as an Anglo!
Saskatchewan League: Still forgetting that Saskatchewan voted for Canexit.
Vert: Thankfully, they’ve kept the name.
Wildrose Parties
Social Credit: Ernest Manning’s ghost has been reported to be seen as 24 Sussex waking up Raitt every night.
West First: Brian Schweitzer is stepping down, and surprisingly not because he died.
Albertan Commonwealth: Shaye Anderson’s beard.
WUP: They’ve got some higher post in the Senate or something.
The Grits: Ernest Preston Manning “roasted” the Grit border plan.
Evergreen: Have organized an e-Albertan Assembly. This is what the future would be like if it was written by an accountant in the early 1970s.
Official Unionist Voice: Same crazy stuff as last fortnight.
Socialist Workers’: Ed Schultz met with Paul Hellyer. Who is still alive.
Farmer-Labor: Will you ever actually run in Alberta?
Minor Parties
Canada’s Defense: Faith Goldy has a new anti-Sikh party. No, not the Canuck Independents!
Bitcoin: Hey did you hear that Bitcoin prices are going up? Did you see Carlos Matos’ new speech? shut up bitcoin people
Abolitionist: Are campaigning for another social credit holiday.
Liberal: Paul Hellyer isn’t dead.
Ontario CoR: They’ve posted some meme about why French sucks.
Archandite: Have changed their logo to a literal thumbs up.
Centre: Jim Flaherty’s former chief of staff made a political party. Somehow this gets news.
Third New Commonwealth: Have now started to vandalize NewLiberal billboards and signs to remove the “New” from Liberal.
Communist: Gilles Duceppe hasn’t been seen in half a decade. Doesn’t really matter; getting one seat would require some work from @Skywalker’s Saab.
Sons of New Brunswick: Are celebrating fifty years of.....success? just give us back herringchokertory please
Newfoundland: Are live-blogging the final season of the Mercer Report.
An All-Canadian Fresh Approach To Goverment: AH.com’s favorite random centrist party has been stalking Nick Clegg lately. While some of you are yelling “change you name to New Compact Copycats,” this party will be the next phresh microparty in a few decades.
Conservative: Raitt is still appearing weak, and the backbenchers (BRAD TROST GIVES A CREEPY WINK) aren’t helping with the US border issues.
CCF: Angus is trying to appear hip and in touch with da youf. That’s bitchin.
NewLiberal: Ken Dryden is back and making the rounds on trying to keep Canada in the American Union. Cute.
Other Parties
Canuck Independent: Can anyone actually remember their leader’s name without having to open Wikipedia?
Ecology.ca: Are still trying to pull off this ludicrous name stunt.
United Farmers: They’ve got some idea about having as many MPs from the West being farmers as possible.
Nationalist Parties
Ralliement des creditistes du Québec: Gilles Bernier’s BBC show is creating a ton of controversy. How dare he even be in the same room as an Anglo!
Saskatchewan League: Still forgetting that Saskatchewan voted for Canexit.
Vert: Thankfully, they’ve kept the name.
Wildrose Parties
Social Credit: Ernest Manning’s ghost has been reported to be seen as 24 Sussex waking up Raitt every night.
West First: Brian Schweitzer is stepping down, and surprisingly not because he died.
Albertan Commonwealth: Shaye Anderson’s beard.
WUP: They’ve got some higher post in the Senate or something.
The Grits: Ernest Preston Manning “roasted” the Grit border plan.
Evergreen: Have organized an e-Albertan Assembly. This is what the future would be like if it was written by an accountant in the early 1970s.
Official Unionist Voice: Same crazy stuff as last fortnight.
Socialist Workers’: Ed Schultz met with Paul Hellyer. Who is still alive.
Farmer-Labor: Will you ever actually run in Alberta?
Minor Parties
Canada’s Defense: Faith Goldy has a new anti-Sikh party. No, not the Canuck Independents!
Bitcoin: Hey did you hear that Bitcoin prices are going up? Did you see Carlos Matos’ new speech? shut up bitcoin people
Abolitionist: Are campaigning for another social credit holiday.
Liberal: Paul Hellyer isn’t dead.
Ontario CoR: They’ve posted some meme about why French sucks.
Archandite: Have changed their logo to a literal thumbs up.
Centre: Jim Flaherty’s former chief of staff made a political party. Somehow this gets news.
Third New Commonwealth: Have now started to vandalize NewLiberal billboards and signs to remove the “New” from Liberal.
Communist: Gilles Duceppe hasn’t been seen in half a decade. Doesn’t really matter; getting one seat would require some work from @Skywalker’s Saab.
Sons of New Brunswick: Are celebrating fifty years of.....success? just give us back herringchokertory please
Newfoundland: Are live-blogging the final season of the Mercer Report.
An All-Canadian Fresh Approach To Goverment: AH.com’s favorite random centrist party has been stalking Nick Clegg lately. While some of you are yelling “change you name to New Compact Copycats,” this party will be the next phresh microparty in a few decades.
Bohemian Rhapsody - The Lethargic Let
Bohemian Rhapsody: Politicking in the German-Danubian Federation
Social Democratic Party - Want to know what's more embarrassing than the Federal Chancellor accidentally admitting on public television that he has no idea what he's doing because he left his mic on? The Kaiser agreeing. Good ol' Heinz Fischer is just too nice for his own good. He let the Poles hold a referendum and now they've up and left, and now every two-bit independence party under the sun is agitating for a referendum of their own (looking at you, Ukrainians) without realizing the ramifications of leaving the Federation to have their economy immediately bought up by Russian oligarchs for a tenth of its value because nobody else wants to buy products from backwater provincials. Honestly, Fischer should just resign and let some empty suit from Karniola or Pomerania take over before it's too late and they crash and burn (even more).
Christian Social Party - The Crits have been chomping at the bit to get elected considering how often the Socs have been face-planting lately, but it really is embarrassing that they're on their 118th ballot. I get that it takes a long time in the federation to pick a candidate that all nine thousand ethnicities can agree on, but your choices are a Hungarian Corporatist who wants to go back to the good old days of the Austro-Bohemian Empire when the Kaiser was porking his sister, and the most Bavarian Bavarian who has ever lived. I mean, come on: he's a goofy looking prince who owns a brewery and hosts jousting tournaments! What's not to like?!
Minor Parties:
Party of Continued Rights - GASP! Doth mine eyes deceive me? An ethnic party that isn't based on separatism!? All joking aside, you have to give the Croats credit where its due: when you're main campaign issue is putting aside petty infighting to deal with the Serbs who keep blowing themselves up in Sarajevo because "IS SLAV CLAY, GOD IS SLAV, YUGOSLAVIA STRONK" and leaving economic issues to be dealt with in the Regional Parliament is pretty reasonable. Of course, they've also forgotten the biggest rules of war besides invading Russia in the winter and starting a land war in Asia: The German-Danubian Federation never puts aside petty infighting, and yet miraculously comes out on top anyway.
Literally Every Independence Party - "We, the people of <insert province> demand regional autonomy because Austria is mean because they won't subsidize our local brand of alcohol, and they let the Poles go, so we should let the whole federation go to zieg heil in a handbasket." Honestly, there isn't anything else to say about any of them. When it comes down to brass tacks, the Ukrainians, Trentinoans, Hungarians, Bavarians, Saxons, Transylvanians, Slovakians, Silesians, Brandenburgers, and even a few nutty Bohemians all want the same thing, and none of them are going to get it.
German Worker's Party - I can't believe these guys actually got elected back in the '80s. You'd think they would've disappeared when the East German Confederation was absorbed like they wanted in 1942. Getting elected on a platform of national renewal? Doesn't sound half bad. Goose-stepping around like some sort of Brandenburg gun fetishist? Okay, you're getting kind of weird. Your leader coming out as gay in the middle of an economic catastrophe in a homophobic political party before gay marriage was legalized? Now you've lost me.
Solidarity F O R E V E R - Mumby
Solidarity F O R E V E R
Government
Collectivist - 'Celebrated' the 100th year of the Russian Revolution last year, this year Leninism was formally declared purged from the public space of the British nation. Britain has a very complicated relationship with it's history as part of the old Comintern.
Opposition
lolwut
Government
Collectivist - 'Celebrated' the 100th year of the Russian Revolution last year, this year Leninism was formally declared purged from the public space of the British nation. Britain has a very complicated relationship with it's history as part of the old Comintern.
Opposition
lolwut
Cuban Political Parties - Gentleman Biaggi
Gentleman Biaggi
Banned
Cuban Political Parties
Major
Liberals - These guys have no idea what they're doing, their leader is incompetent, and they can't campaign anywhere outside Havana. They'll probably still win though, considering Havana's influence over Cuban elections. Shout out to every American who accidentally glanced at their Wikipedia page, and were confused when they saw "Center-Right" on the Liberal Party's page.
Social Democratic - The fact that these guys still haven't won an election since 2002 shows how messed up Cuban politics are. These guys are known for campaigning heavily in non-Havana areas, and those areas are getting pissed that their voice isn't being heard, so turnout has been quite high in recent Cuban elections. Rural voters are beginning to turn to Social Credit, so the SDP's future could be disappointing
Social Credit - OH MY GOD, A POPULIST RIGHT WING PARTY IN CUBA, THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING, I DIDN'T KNOW THOSE TWO IDEOLOGIES COULD MIX IN CUBA
Minor
Cuba First! - I refuse to call this party anything other than "weirdness and Nationalism mixed together" so google it yourself
Black Power - Basically the Black Panther Party of America, but with the ability to win more elections
Authentic - These guys were once the opposition to the Liberals, but then they got beat out by the Social Democrats, who actually had a normal ideology and their base got stolen when Cuba First! split off. I'm surprised these guys even exist anymore, but somehow they do.
Isla de la Juventud Independence - Let me get this straight, you guys want independence for an island that has a population that isn't even a 5th of Wyoming's? Have fun with that. Major
Liberals - These guys have no idea what they're doing, their leader is incompetent, and they can't campaign anywhere outside Havana. They'll probably still win though, considering Havana's influence over Cuban elections. Shout out to every American who accidentally glanced at their Wikipedia page, and were confused when they saw "Center-Right" on the Liberal Party's page.
Social Democratic - The fact that these guys still haven't won an election since 2002 shows how messed up Cuban politics are. These guys are known for campaigning heavily in non-Havana areas, and those areas are getting pissed that their voice isn't being heard, so turnout has been quite high in recent Cuban elections. Rural voters are beginning to turn to Social Credit, so the SDP's future could be disappointing
Social Credit - OH MY GOD, A POPULIST RIGHT WING PARTY IN CUBA, THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING, I DIDN'T KNOW THOSE TWO IDEOLOGIES COULD MIX IN CUBA
Minor
Cuba First! - I refuse to call this party anything other than "weirdness and Nationalism mixed together" so google it yourself
Black Power - Basically the Black Panther Party of America, but with the ability to win more elections
Authentic - These guys were once the opposition to the Liberals, but then they got beat out by the Social Democrats, who actually had a normal ideology and their base got stolen when Cuba First! split off. I'm surprised these guys even exist anymore, but somehow they do.
The Blessed Sunlight - Turquoise Blue
From The Blessed Sunlight, my American thing.
Rundown of Recent USA Events (English-language version)
Labor: President MacLeòid has given another boring speech in Pennsylvania, talking of the virtue of hard work and how that should be rewarded, blah blah, standard Labor stuff. He'll win it easily in November, along with enough states to win a second term. This is one of the most boring elections in American history, I wish we were back in the Cheney-Wexelstein days. Those were exciting.
National: Hoo boy...
- Jonathan S. Bush: The presumptive nominee in all but name, he now has good momentum going, enough to help him across the finish line. But nominating the dull-as-dishwater son of your 20-years-ago nominee? Really?
- Jeffrey Jorgensen: Seems that having millions in the bank couldn't help ya, Jeffie. But he's now talking of "voter fraud" and a "dynastical elite rigging it all". Which ends any hope the Nationals had of winning.
- Louise Heath: Conceded the nomination and withdrew, endorsing Bush. Which ends any hope of the Nationals actually nominating someone smart enough or qualified enough to go up against MacLeòid.
- Rabbie Jindal: Still in, somehow, even after it was numerically impossible for him to win. He apparently thinks he can pick up the religious-right and whatnot, and angle himself the vice-presidency. *shakes head*
Minor Parties
Won't make a difference, but it'll make this look longer and get more approvs.
Social Credit: The biggest they've been since the 1930s, and they're still hiring a fastfood restaurant building to hold their convention, which certainly shows you how pathetic they've become. They're probably nominating Ernest Paul. Way to look democratic and equal, nominating the son of a former nominee, it isn't like any other party has done that, especially any major parties.
Libertarian: Oh god, it's those guys again. Keeping on banging about how Labor has abandoned the principles of Robert Owen and whatnot. Getting boring. At least they're renting a proper venue and not a bleeding fast food restaurant like the SoCreds did. And what sort of name is Zephyr Rain Teachout anyway? Her parents must have been sadistic hippies.
Green: Oh yeah, I remember those guys. They broke off GreenLeft when that party voted to merge back into Labor. Not because Labor was too moderate, but because it was too left-wing. Yes, that's right. They've gone a bit more right-wards since that, calling for old-fashioned Georgism and agrarianism and environmentalism. Jim Perry seems a decent choice, but they're still irrelevant.
※ACT: They're a new and weird party calling for small government but legalized marihuana and for all of America to speak a common language, which they call "Amerish". And they're trying to "get down with da yoof" by using the kometag before their name [which stands for Americans Coming Together]. Pathetic.
Other parties: Laff. Who remembers the Nonpartisan Movement, the Socialist Labor Party or whatever the hell is the Republican Party?
Rundown of Recent USA Events (English-language version)
Labor: President MacLeòid has given another boring speech in Pennsylvania, talking of the virtue of hard work and how that should be rewarded, blah blah, standard Labor stuff. He'll win it easily in November, along with enough states to win a second term. This is one of the most boring elections in American history, I wish we were back in the Cheney-Wexelstein days. Those were exciting.
National: Hoo boy...
- Jonathan S. Bush: The presumptive nominee in all but name, he now has good momentum going, enough to help him across the finish line. But nominating the dull-as-dishwater son of your 20-years-ago nominee? Really?
- Jeffrey Jorgensen: Seems that having millions in the bank couldn't help ya, Jeffie. But he's now talking of "voter fraud" and a "dynastical elite rigging it all". Which ends any hope the Nationals had of winning.
- Louise Heath: Conceded the nomination and withdrew, endorsing Bush. Which ends any hope of the Nationals actually nominating someone smart enough or qualified enough to go up against MacLeòid.
- Rabbie Jindal: Still in, somehow, even after it was numerically impossible for him to win. He apparently thinks he can pick up the religious-right and whatnot, and angle himself the vice-presidency. *shakes head*
Minor Parties
Won't make a difference, but it'll make this look longer and get more approvs.
Social Credit: The biggest they've been since the 1930s, and they're still hiring a fastfood restaurant building to hold their convention, which certainly shows you how pathetic they've become. They're probably nominating Ernest Paul. Way to look democratic and equal, nominating the son of a former nominee, it isn't like any other party has done that, especially any major parties.
Libertarian: Oh god, it's those guys again. Keeping on banging about how Labor has abandoned the principles of Robert Owen and whatnot. Getting boring. At least they're renting a proper venue and not a bleeding fast food restaurant like the SoCreds did. And what sort of name is Zephyr Rain Teachout anyway? Her parents must have been sadistic hippies.
Green: Oh yeah, I remember those guys. They broke off GreenLeft when that party voted to merge back into Labor. Not because Labor was too moderate, but because it was too left-wing. Yes, that's right. They've gone a bit more right-wards since that, calling for old-fashioned Georgism and agrarianism and environmentalism. Jim Perry seems a decent choice, but they're still irrelevant.
※ACT: They're a new and weird party calling for small government but legalized marihuana and for all of America to speak a common language, which they call "Amerish". And they're trying to "get down with da yoof" by using the kometag before their name [which stands for Americans Coming Together]. Pathetic.
Other parties: Laff. Who remembers the Nonpartisan Movement, the Socialist Labor Party or whatever the hell is the Republican Party?
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Italy - No Commercial TV - andry2806
Italy-No commercial TV
Major parties:
Partito Comunista Italiano (PCI, Italian Communist Party): they impressed the world for not only not being wiped away by a CIA-sponsored coup when they got their first government in the 90', but also by becoming one the dominant party of the last 20 years, despite losing sometimes the Presidency of the Council and having often to search the support of the Pentaparty and others. They are a bit crumbling on economic crisis, internal divisions (strange) and having the bad abitude to select old or boring as fuck leaders charismatic as a carrot.
Partito Democratico (PD, Democratic Party): the Pentaparty received a killing blow when magistrate Antonio di Pietro discovered mass corruption problems in the DC-PSI-PRI-PLI-PSDI administration. The Christian Democracy became losing ground, their right wing entirely lost, being replaced in their southern strongholds by the fasciehm, I meant the ANers. The Italian Socialist Party lost support too and moved further to the right. The three minors risked to end definetely in irrilevance. Romano Prodi helped the Pentaparty Coalition to recover, placing it in a centre, liberal context. But it wasn't enough. Until a certain Mayor of Florence became the youngest Secretary of the Christian Democracy ever, unified the political aligned member parties in a unified "Democratic Party" and launched a young and 30-40s focused liberal-popular campaign that seems to permit the centrists to come back. Matteo Renzi, what else?
Alleanza Nazionale (AN, National Alliance): when the corruption scandal exploded, Gianfranco Fini knew it was the time to act. He cut all the bridges with the fascist past of his parties, and took rightish not-enquired members of Pentaparty coalition and formed with them the National Alliance, a conservative vaguely sovranist party that conquered DC feuds in the South and became the main opposition to the Communist governments. The actual leader is the charismatic Giorgia Meloni, that with her close to the people rethorics and past seems to be the right match to tale the AN to Palazzo Chigi.
Minor parties:
Lega Nord (Northern League): internal racism, ignorance and corruption. Luckily after the momentum they took in the 90' they're costantly losing ground.
Gaia: il Popolo per la Democrazia Diretta (Gaia: People for Direct Democracy): very strange people, they're an anti-corruption, anti-enstablishment party that advocates for Direct Democracy with votings occuring on the Internet, the same media they were born on and diffused starting from the YouTube documentary by their prophet and guru Gianroberto Casaleggio, and through they insult and denounce corruption and nepotism in the italian institutions. Curious, because on the death of their beloved leader in 2016 he was successed by his own son Davide.
Siciliani Liberi (Free Sicilians): they are the most stupid and embarassing party in the Parliament, costantly inventing past times where Sicily was the greatest and most advanced nation in the Mediterrean. Oh, and also accusing Northerners of all the problems Sicily have. Obvious, it's the Northerners the problem, not absolutely silly things like Mafia and corruption and tax evasion as normal things in common Sicilian man's lifestyle.
Unità Proletaria (Proletarian Unity): almost all the revolutionaries and Stalinists disillusioned with the social democratic in all but name PCI are here.
Radicali (Radicals): they've fought for civil rights and social progress since fifty years ago. Their leader, Emma Bonino, fought a cancer in the last years and survived. They may be always not above the 5% digit, but a thing is certain: they're not fucking surrendering now.
Fiamme Tricolori (Three Colours Flames): "the only party truly fighting for Italy and for security in the streets", in their opinion. "Fucking fascists", in everyone else opinion.
Autonomist parties of Sudtirol, Sardinia and Aosta Valley: they don't really want independence, but through selling their MP votes they earned a lot of sussidies and policies in their favour over the years. Someone used these advantages wisely (Sudtirol), someone in a decent way (Aosta) and someone simply NOT (Sardinia).
Major parties:
Partito Comunista Italiano (PCI, Italian Communist Party): they impressed the world for not only not being wiped away by a CIA-sponsored coup when they got their first government in the 90', but also by becoming one the dominant party of the last 20 years, despite losing sometimes the Presidency of the Council and having often to search the support of the Pentaparty and others. They are a bit crumbling on economic crisis, internal divisions (strange) and having the bad abitude to select old or boring as fuck leaders charismatic as a carrot.
Partito Democratico (PD, Democratic Party): the Pentaparty received a killing blow when magistrate Antonio di Pietro discovered mass corruption problems in the DC-PSI-PRI-PLI-PSDI administration. The Christian Democracy became losing ground, their right wing entirely lost, being replaced in their southern strongholds by the fasciehm, I meant the ANers. The Italian Socialist Party lost support too and moved further to the right. The three minors risked to end definetely in irrilevance. Romano Prodi helped the Pentaparty Coalition to recover, placing it in a centre, liberal context. But it wasn't enough. Until a certain Mayor of Florence became the youngest Secretary of the Christian Democracy ever, unified the political aligned member parties in a unified "Democratic Party" and launched a young and 30-40s focused liberal-popular campaign that seems to permit the centrists to come back. Matteo Renzi, what else?
Alleanza Nazionale (AN, National Alliance): when the corruption scandal exploded, Gianfranco Fini knew it was the time to act. He cut all the bridges with the fascist past of his parties, and took rightish not-enquired members of Pentaparty coalition and formed with them the National Alliance, a conservative vaguely sovranist party that conquered DC feuds in the South and became the main opposition to the Communist governments. The actual leader is the charismatic Giorgia Meloni, that with her close to the people rethorics and past seems to be the right match to tale the AN to Palazzo Chigi.
Minor parties:
Lega Nord (Northern League): internal racism, ignorance and corruption. Luckily after the momentum they took in the 90' they're costantly losing ground.
Gaia: il Popolo per la Democrazia Diretta (Gaia: People for Direct Democracy): very strange people, they're an anti-corruption, anti-enstablishment party that advocates for Direct Democracy with votings occuring on the Internet, the same media they were born on and diffused starting from the YouTube documentary by their prophet and guru Gianroberto Casaleggio, and through they insult and denounce corruption and nepotism in the italian institutions. Curious, because on the death of their beloved leader in 2016 he was successed by his own son Davide.
Siciliani Liberi (Free Sicilians): they are the most stupid and embarassing party in the Parliament, costantly inventing past times where Sicily was the greatest and most advanced nation in the Mediterrean. Oh, and also accusing Northerners of all the problems Sicily have. Obvious, it's the Northerners the problem, not absolutely silly things like Mafia and corruption and tax evasion as normal things in common Sicilian man's lifestyle.
Unità Proletaria (Proletarian Unity): almost all the revolutionaries and Stalinists disillusioned with the social democratic in all but name PCI are here.
Radicali (Radicals): they've fought for civil rights and social progress since fifty years ago. Their leader, Emma Bonino, fought a cancer in the last years and survived. They may be always not above the 5% digit, but a thing is certain: they're not fucking surrendering now.
Fiamme Tricolori (Three Colours Flames): "the only party truly fighting for Italy and for security in the streets", in their opinion. "Fucking fascists", in everyone else opinion.
Autonomist parties of Sudtirol, Sardinia and Aosta Valley: they don't really want independence, but through selling their MP votes they earned a lot of sussidies and policies in their favour over the years. Someone used these advantages wisely (Sudtirol), someone in a decent way (Aosta) and someone simply NOT (Sardinia).
Canada Run-Down No.2 - Oppo
yessss
i found this again
List
ADR: Dumont has got an increased majority, and Canada collectively cries out in horror. Réal Caouette must be laughing from his grave.
Federalist: Scott Brison is reportedly being pushed out as leader of the Feds. You let Paul Martin have another chance, but not Brison?
Green-Commonwealth: As we all thought, the GCP is celebrating their massive majority by running around everywhere screaming. They clearly forgot that the Liberal (sorry, Federalist) Party can never be killed.
Wildrose: After being killed by Dumont, they really are the West’s Bloc. The Tories might even regain power in Alberta!
Paul Hellyer’s NQS: Hellyer looks like he’s about to sack the frontbench team for an alleged leadership coup, and the crazy Quebec wing might end their alliance. Still, less chaotic than the GCP.
Bloc Québécois: With their worst showing yet and the radicals taking over, Lucien Bouchard says the party “should have disbanded a decade ago.” Quebec independence is happening any day now.
Natural Law: They’ve got a leadership election! No one knows anything about half the candidates, and the only one that’s got a Wiki page was a Bloc MP in the 1990s.
Christian Heritage: Larry Spencer actually was closer to returning to Parliament this time, and they had a weird surge in Newfoundland.
Cyber Party: After merging with the continuity Liberals and the Pirates, they might be able to win a seat in 2027. There are some weird donations coming from New Zealand.
i found this again
List
ADR: Dumont has got an increased majority, and Canada collectively cries out in horror. Réal Caouette must be laughing from his grave.
Federalist: Scott Brison is reportedly being pushed out as leader of the Feds. You let Paul Martin have another chance, but not Brison?
Green-Commonwealth: As we all thought, the GCP is celebrating their massive majority by running around everywhere screaming. They clearly forgot that the Liberal (sorry, Federalist) Party can never be killed.
Wildrose: After being killed by Dumont, they really are the West’s Bloc. The Tories might even regain power in Alberta!
Paul Hellyer’s NQS: Hellyer looks like he’s about to sack the frontbench team for an alleged leadership coup, and the crazy Quebec wing might end their alliance. Still, less chaotic than the GCP.
Bloc Québécois: With their worst showing yet and the radicals taking over, Lucien Bouchard says the party “should have disbanded a decade ago.” Quebec independence is happening any day now.
Natural Law: They’ve got a leadership election! No one knows anything about half the candidates, and the only one that’s got a Wiki page was a Bloc MP in the 1990s.
Christian Heritage: Larry Spencer actually was closer to returning to Parliament this time, and they had a weird surge in Newfoundland.
Cyber Party: After merging with the continuity Liberals and the Pirates, they might be able to win a seat in 2027. There are some weird donations coming from New Zealand.
First Hundred Days Mother Fucker - Sideways
Sideways
Donor
Fuck it, should be writing properly, but I want to get in on this thread
13 August 2022
~*First Hundred Days Mother Fucker*~
Major Parties
Conservative: Behold the exciting new government with exciting new principles! Marvel at the right to buy shares in a house! Gasp at the tough new security laws! Ignore the continued privatisation of the NHS. That's probably nothing.
Labour: We still have to break this one down...
SNP: Also having a leadership campaign. But with 19 MPs and third party status in Holyrood, I don't have to fucking care.
Plaid Cymru: The political equivalent of Dorian Grey - Leanne Wood - was in Norn talking up the Irish Language Act. Meanwhile, her portrait, Neil McEvoy, was arrested in a pub in Cardiff.
Scottish Green Party: I know I should be used to it by now, but having an openly Pagan MSP opening Pagan Pride Edinburgh is still fucking amazing.
Northern Ireland
Sinn Fein: Their MLAs are suddenly going to have to learn Gaelic.
DUP: Still can't quite believe what happened.
UUP: Have been surprisingly amenable to Michelle O'Neill's administration so far. This... this shouldn't be working so well.
Alliance: No, I still haven't learnt the new guy's name. I miss Naomi
SDLP: I no longer have to care. So let's just move on now.
Mid Range Parties (No MPs, some devolved government reps)
Greens: Another contest, and yes I'm going to do this one
WEP: I don't want to downplay their considerable achievements getting Sophie into the London Assembly. But... let's remember, they still have fewer councillors than UKIP.
Minor Parties
Christian Party: Always just increasingly irrelevant hate
For Britain: Buckby is apparently jockeying for position against AMW, in a totally-not-a-leadership contest that seems to be destroying the far right's current greatest hope.
Something New: Prepping for their first Conference! Fast growth after standing ten candidates last time.
Democrats & Veterans: JRE left the party before the election, and now they're basically a continuity of a continuity party. How are they still going? Do their members actually believe it's a veteran's party?
13 August 2022
~*First Hundred Days Mother Fucker*~
Major Parties
Conservative: Behold the exciting new government with exciting new principles! Marvel at the right to buy shares in a house! Gasp at the tough new security laws! Ignore the continued privatisation of the NHS. That's probably nothing.
Labour: We still have to break this one down...
Diane Abbot: Has just kept doubling down and getting hardened to the press until she's become... kind of indestructible. She's actually the bookies favourite right now.
John McDonnell: Courting the right of the party by talking about Blair. There's like a 50% chance that he'll end up the Stop Abbot candidate.
Dawn Butler: A survivor of Corbyn's cabinet, but not seem as an impossible fundamentalist, but is seen as a bit boring. So... we'll see.
Gloria de Piero: The Great Right Wing Hope for the party. Still trying to differentiate herself in a crowded field by focusing on feminism and the importance of having a female leader. Erm.
Jess Phillips: Has to do this shit to build up her media profile.
Liberal Democrats: The candidates for leader are starting to drop back now. Let's see who's left:John McDonnell: Courting the right of the party by talking about Blair. There's like a 50% chance that he'll end up the Stop Abbot candidate.
Dawn Butler: A survivor of Corbyn's cabinet, but not seem as an impossible fundamentalist, but is seen as a bit boring. So... we'll see.
Gloria de Piero: The Great Right Wing Hope for the party. Still trying to differentiate herself in a crowded field by focusing on feminism and the importance of having a female leader. Erm.
Jess Phillips: Has to do this shit to build up her media profile.
Jo Swinson: The perennial favourite, though have you noticed how the longer the campaign goes on, the more the odds widen?
Julien Huppert: Fully Automated Luxury Liberalism! Shame the Technophile candidate couldn't hire a decent web developer
Norman Lamb: Getting really really popular with the youth of the party. The alt-centre, as literally nobody but themselves are calling them.
Daisy Benson: Kind of a wild campaign, but she's definitely articulating a vision. I'm... not 100% sure what it is. But sure, fuck it, I'd watch more of that.
National PartiesJulien Huppert: Fully Automated Luxury Liberalism! Shame the Technophile candidate couldn't hire a decent web developer
Norman Lamb: Getting really really popular with the youth of the party. The alt-centre, as literally nobody but themselves are calling them.
Daisy Benson: Kind of a wild campaign, but she's definitely articulating a vision. I'm... not 100% sure what it is. But sure, fuck it, I'd watch more of that.
SNP: Also having a leadership campaign. But with 19 MPs and third party status in Holyrood, I don't have to fucking care.
Plaid Cymru: The political equivalent of Dorian Grey - Leanne Wood - was in Norn talking up the Irish Language Act. Meanwhile, her portrait, Neil McEvoy, was arrested in a pub in Cardiff.
Scottish Green Party: I know I should be used to it by now, but having an openly Pagan MSP opening Pagan Pride Edinburgh is still fucking amazing.
Northern Ireland
Sinn Fein: Their MLAs are suddenly going to have to learn Gaelic.
DUP: Still can't quite believe what happened.
UUP: Have been surprisingly amenable to Michelle O'Neill's administration so far. This... this shouldn't be working so well.
Alliance: No, I still haven't learnt the new guy's name. I miss Naomi
SDLP: I no longer have to care. So let's just move on now.
Mid Range Parties (No MPs, some devolved government reps)
Greens: Another contest, and yes I'm going to do this one
Amelia Womack: Lucas' understudy has been waiting a long time for a paying job. Maybe, waiting too long?
Jenny Jones: The choice of the vaguely sensible Green Right, the kind of people who now refuse to remember being TERFs and don't talk openly about population.
Mark Ereira Gaya: The voice of... maybe other parts of the Green Right.
Tom Pashby: A relative unknown who does well on the online hustings. Which... nobody watches, so that probably doesn't matter.
Derek Wall: An old white outsider on the left of the party who nobody heard of until he ran? This seems to be resonating well with the party's former Corbynistas for some reason.
UKIP: Literally just Neil Hamilton hanging on in Wales somehow. And another leadership election... somehow.Jenny Jones: The choice of the vaguely sensible Green Right, the kind of people who now refuse to remember being TERFs and don't talk openly about population.
Mark Ereira Gaya: The voice of... maybe other parts of the Green Right.
Tom Pashby: A relative unknown who does well on the online hustings. Which... nobody watches, so that probably doesn't matter.
Derek Wall: An old white outsider on the left of the party who nobody heard of until he ran? This seems to be resonating well with the party's former Corbynistas for some reason.
WEP: I don't want to downplay their considerable achievements getting Sophie into the London Assembly. But... let's remember, they still have fewer councillors than UKIP.
Minor Parties
Christian Party: Always just increasingly irrelevant hate
For Britain: Buckby is apparently jockeying for position against AMW, in a totally-not-a-leadership contest that seems to be destroying the far right's current greatest hope.
Something New: Prepping for their first Conference! Fast growth after standing ten candidates last time.
Democrats & Veterans: JRE left the party before the election, and now they're basically a continuity of a continuity party. How are they still going? Do their members actually believe it's a veteran's party?