Duck and Cover: Bird, Snakes and Aeroplanes. 4/1/1984
South Dakota -- Sunday April 1, 1984 -- 12:30am Mountain Daylight Time
"You will be detained until further notice..You get those trailers open and off load any material."
RAT-TAT-TAT!!!
Weapons fire rang through the night. The fighters waiting in the trailers pounced on the luckless reservation policemen.
"Fire into the tree line"
The troop automatically aimed a set of shoulder mounted rockets at the trees behind them. They each fired, and a volley of eight rockets roared to the trees. The phosphor explosion nullified the night for an instant. A group of young Lakota men would see the Great Spirit at that moment.
Within 15 minutes, the battle was over. The invaders scooped up their wounded, close the trailers and hauled west at all the speed they could get out of their Kenworths.
"EMERGENCY. EMERGENCY. THIS IS PINE RIDGE. WE HAVE BEEN ATTACKED BY UNKNOWNS. CHADRON NCF THIS PINE RIDGE OVER."
near the California/Oregon border -- Sunday April 1, 1984 -- 6:05am Pacifc Daylight Time.
"Wolfpack leader to Wolf Den...come in."
"Acknowledged Wolfpack Leader..."
"We are two miles from initial target. AWACS reports ground in place...OVER."
"Affirmative Wolfpack Leader...Make them count...and lets get our President back...."
"Target in 6.....5....4.....3...2.....BOMBS AWAY!!!"
The F-14 Tomcats each delievered their bombs flanked by a group of A-10s, protected by a ring of upgunned T/F-38 Talons.
It was a bombing run in a night full of them. It had been five days since Air Force One, carrying the acting President was shot down.
This morning, ground troops of marines and naval infantry had made a move toward the enemy compound along the California-Oregon border. The shadowy figure known as "The Colonel" was feeling the noose tighten around his neck.
THIS IS THE NEVADA NATIONAL GUARD PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPONS AND SURRENDER.”
The smaller of the two guards opened his mouth to talk. The taller of the two guards shot him a furious glance. The smaller guard snapped it shut, tapping his bare feet nervously on the floor.
“ Now listen,” the Colonel shouted up the stairs, “I have the president, and I wouldn't think twice before shooting him.”
He roughly grabbed the President and shoving the barrel of a gun up to the president's head forced him into the doorway.
He listened for a second. Nothing.
“ It's your choice.”
Something clunked down the stairs spewing a noxious gas.
The teargas smoke startled the Colonel...In a panic he fired...and fired again....and again...
a church in Concordia, Kansas -- Sunday April 1, 1984 -- 9:30am Central Standard Time
The town administrator was harried. "What do we know?"
The national guardsman replied. "Last night, we looked at the border. There are guard posts set up along the highways. They could be preparing to attack."
Another council member suggested. "Or they could just be taking inventory. These are fellow Americans here. Why would some Nebraska town attack us?"
"Why wouldn't they?" the guardsman suggested. "We have to take everything into account."
At the far end of the room, a stocky, weatherbeaten man sits casually holding two hunting guns.
"You need to lighten up," the man said calmly. "I'm with the mayor on this. You weekend wienies need to calm the fuck down."
The national guardsman turned on the man. "You are still the same cocky asshole you were in high school. Mister big-time pro star. You ain't shit now."
The man smiled. "You are just upset that the war happened without you, chickenshit. Still thinking you are in the JROTC."
The national guardsman reared up as if he wanted to attack the other man. The strapping hunter stayed ice cold. "G'won son," he said derisively, "Make your move. I could use a good opportunity to kick somebody's ass."
Another guardsman rushed into the room, "Sir, we have a confirmed radio contact."
"Yes?" the administrator said. "Just got a reply. He is confirmed to be here."
"Where?"
"Russell. He's on the ground here."
"Who is he?" the national guard leader asked.
"A man we need to restore a credible civilian government in Kansas."
"What about the Nebraskans?"
The administrator said. "What about them? They haven't done anything to us. We will not do anything to them."
He turned to the national guardsmen and some of the other troops who followed him. "I want you to get in contact with Russell. Make the arrangements to get him here. Then contact Manhattan and Lawrence. Get me that professor in Lawrence we've been talking to on the radio.. They've had contact with Nebraska. I need to talk to anybody in charge up there.."
"What if they don't wish to talk,"
"They'll talk."
"Yeah. Sure."
The commander got up and walked out. The city mayor/administrator never saw the grenade...But the hunter did..
The hunter raced toward the mayor, and then flung both of them out of the nearest window..
The window shattered as the grenade detonated.
Gunfire followed. Confusion followed.
Rome, Georgia -- Sunday April 1, 1984 -- 1:05pm Eastern Standard Time.
The Secretary was flanked by aides and troops as he left the church.
Donald Regan felt he could get used to this. The senior federal civilian representative had set up a regional government here.
By this date, he was well aware of the federal government out in Washington. Once the situation stablized there, he would be moved to Columbia. Apparently, Donald Regan was the highest person in the line of succession remaining.
He walked out of the church toward the small sedan along the driveway.
"Sic semper tyrannis!"
Three shots hit the center mass of the Secretary, three other hits his aides.
Some members of the crowd tackled the gunman. He was a disgrunted member of what used to be known as the "Alliance of American Values". A group of largest white supremacists who had been subdued by federal troops weeks before.
The worst damage was already done.
a steel plant in Cleveland, Ohio -- Sunday April 1, 1984 -- 3:55pm
The Mayor of Cleveland was touring the city's biggest steel plant. Like much of the surviving industrial capacity of the state, it never stopped running.
"Sir, we need to consider some downtime. Its a question of power and of manpower. We're chewing people up and spitting them out here," the plant manager pleaded.
"We can't slow down now," the Mayor shot back. "The defense plants up river need this steel. Ohio needs a strong capable defense and then ability to keep order. This is a CCCP priority."
"I understand, but who are we really fighting against? The war is over."
"The war is never over," the Mayor said. "We have radio reports that the Soviets are landing troops in Minnesota and Wisconsin. We may have to become independent and self-sufficient. Remember how the Feds snubbed this town for some place out in the middle of nowhere."
"And there's this increasing internal resistance. Damn ingrate refugees...and having that little runt bastard back around agitating doesn't help anything."
The plant manager shot back, "Well maybe if your damn CCCP acted more humane you wouldn't have the problems you have."
"You best mind yourself, sir...I can get another plant manager like that."
Just as the Mayor snapped his fingers...The flash filled the plant...Followed by a series of explosions..
It was 4:00pm Eastern Standard Time. Explosions and fire engulfed the large building. Refugee workers scrambled for anyplace to escape. Hundreds died in the explosions..
The Mayor's body was never found.
World serves its own needs,
listen to your heart bleed dummy with the rapture and
the revered and the right, right. You vitriolic,
patriotic, slam, fight, bright light, feeling pretty
psyched.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.
Happy April Fools Day. World still gone mad. Country still gone mad. -- Welcome back to Duck and Cover.