America - Albion's Orphan - A history of the conquest of Britain - 1760

[Alt History Buff]

Summer, 1811

Kyushu, Empire of Nippon

After the humiliating defeat of the Emperor’s forces (particularly the Navy) in the past few years, the Emperor had been forced to conclude that the Shogun (himself as much a figurehead as the Emperor) was unfit for the post and demanded that another take his place. Surprisingly, the Shogun stood down but the powerbrokers behind him simply chose another pliant member of the family to take his place. Nothing significant changed.

Kyushu and Ryuku remained under Chinese occupation with no obvious recourse for the Nipponese to alter the situation. It was bluntly straightforward that only casual disinterest in the cost of conquering the primary island of Honshu had prevented the Chinese from doing so (cost in gold, not lives).

When the Emperor of China’s emissaries arrived, they were treated with courtesy…through gritted Nipponese teeth. Even the affront in which they demanded that to speak DIRECTLY to the Emperor was granted, an astonishing insult that the gaijin may actually be in the Imperial presence. In truth, the Emperor cared little for this as he had no choice. The Chinese navy may ravage the coastlines without fear of retaliation. And rocky island of Honshu carried few good roads. Should a harvest fail and food be necessary from other parts of the island…well, the food would not arrive. And nothing upset peasants more than empty stomachs.

The new arrangement was reached quickly. The Emperor of Nippon would renew the tribute paid to China long since abolished. This was actually rather petty and more of a measure of submission than a true tax. More importantly, the Chinese Emperor would selected Chinese military governors to govern the southern Nipponese islands…naturally in the name of the Nipponese Emperor, of course.

Cut off from Europe, the Nipponese would have no recourse but to obey Chinese instruction. As it would happen, the much-argued modernization of the nation would soon be put to a stop without further Chinese intervention as the Imperial Court, tired of bowing to the political dictates of the Shogunate, would call upon the people of Honshu to wipe out the vestiges of the old order.

While many agreed with the principle, the ensuing civil war would do nothing in the short term to return Nippon to independence. Instead, it would impoverish Honshu to the point that the Chinese stopped bothering to even pay attention to their new nominal vassal.

Rio de Janeiro

Over the past half century, the Spanish Empire had effected partial control over the former Portuguese colony of Brazil. Large waves of immigration and the liberation of the Brazilian slaves had greatly altered the political landscape. But Spain lacked the power to truly force cooperation among their colonies on subjects contrary to colonial benefit.

Attempting to force the assorted colonies of the Spanish Empire to raise a great army to dispatch to New Spain was one of those subjects which plagued the colonial governors. Indeed, there was much support for the rebel government in Valladolid throughout the colonies. While Spain had loosened its regulatory and financial grip significantly, even offering lower level positions in the political structure to locals, most high-level positions like governors, generals, etc, remained reserved for peninsulars.


Grumbling would slow tax collection and volunteerism for military service was near non-existent throughout the colonies.

Rio de Janeiro was one such location. Though no longer ethnically Portuguese as it once had been, the multi-ethnic city prospered at 100,000 citizens and was a regional hub of trade. A command by the Governor (a new man recently arrived from Castile) for 5000 volunteers throughout southern Brazil was…utterly ignored.

The governor made the ill-fated decision to impress “criminals, vagrants and the unemployed”, an act which started a riot and resulted in the man taking shelter in a Spanish warship out in the harbor. He would never again set foot in the city. While few other regions would suffer from such ham-fisted governmental officials, the fact was that the crown was less than popular in much of the Spanish Empire.

By 1810, the Empire in America outnumbered in population…and wealth…Spain itself where slow reforms would keep the nation well behind most of the European counterparts.

As it was, the Kingdom was seeing ever-increasingly signs of strain in the conquered Portuguese province of the Algarve, with the King of Italy over the mooted merger of Austria and Italy and with the colonials.

Lacking real leadership on either the throne or the Ministry, Spain’s path would quickly grow increasingly rocky despite having near-unchallenged control over most of the Americas for the past 30 years.

 

[Alt History Buff]

1811 - Fall

Paris

The large increase in the French birth rate over the first decades of the 19th century was attributed to three things: the peace, the smallpox vaccine and the slow acceptance of the potato among the French peasantry (the end of what would later be referred to as the “Little Ice Age” was no less important). Indeed, King Louis XVI (still alive against all expectations) had spent much of his reign telling all who would listen that his table always bore potatoes. The French predilection for bread had long been a bane on the Kings as frequent failed wheat harvests over the past fifty years had resulted in periodic famine…and the expected unrest associated with it. Potatoes, on the other hand, were less prone to weather-related crop failures. No one ever heard of a Potato crop failing.

Though the nation of France would never welcome the crop to quite the extent of Germans, British and Irish, the potato often kept the poorest households in France from hunger in the winters as a family may theoretically be fed on only an acre of so of potatoes. This most landlords in the countryside would allow, particularly the less than ideal land for wheat or grapes.

Still, tension continued in France. The “acquired” territories acquired by various means over the years (Savoy, Nice, the western Swiss Cantons, Lorraine, the French (formerly Austrian) Netherlands, Liege, etc) would not always enjoy their new French overlords. However, the French government would, for the sake of peace necessary to do their jobs, would not attempt to force most of these peoples to speak French or overly alter their lives. Indeed, the French government was frequently more competent in many administrative functions than their predecessors and taxes were usually no higher than before (or lower). Indeed ,the reduced internal customs would create an enormous internal market for trade, something which the government frequently pointed out. There were more French subjects than under the “German Confederation” (soon to be renamed the “Northern Confederation” to reflect its diverse membership) and less internal bureaucracy for merchants to deal with.

But the rise in French births from 1790 to 1810 would strain French society as education became harder and harder to direct and a slow but steady migration from the countryside to the secondary cities had begun. In retrospect, the French government regretted the loss of significant continental North American colonies by which they could direct any future excess population. Unfortunately, only the pestilential Caribbean colonies and the very, very far away colony of Bourbonia were outlets for the burgeoning French population. Neither were terribly popular and the 10,000 or so French subjects which migrated out of Europe per year barely made up 2% of the annual population growth.

Instead, the nation would look increasingly to urban solutions, namely spurring the industrial sector (textiles, etc) to the surplus labor force.

Attempts to ensure a regular flow of victuals would lead to French participation in the Agricultural Revolution taking place elsewhere in the world. Having 10,000,000 more mouths to feed than the previous generation, it was in King Louis XVI’s best interests to be sure that there was adequate amounts of food. Modern machinery, more intensive agricultural methods (more crop rotation), new crops (like the potato) and other solutions were tried.

However, these would create a new problem. Simply assuming that the new population needed the same percentage of agricultural workers was proving to be incorrect. Productivity increased so much that the percentage of rural workers would drop as they were proven redundant by technology. That meant more and more workers available for mining and manufacturing, with the overall nation of France (more in some regions than others) would belatedly follow in the path of the British, Irish, Germans, Americans and even Italians and Poles in rapid industrial-driven urbanization.

“Little Russia”

As anyone with a fully functioning intellect could have suspected, the Czar would formally annex “Ruthenia”, i.e. the previous eastern portion of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. By this point, the Poles could hardly do anything about the matter. Instead, the much more ethnically homogenous society would quietly gravitate closer to the “Northern Confederation”, becoming the first major “associate state” of Catholic Majority.

The Czar cared little about this, satisfied with gaining the Orthodox East. Instead, he was concerned what to do with all these damned Jews. A large portion of the Jews of the Polish Commonwealth had long resided in this region (and over 80% of the Jews on earth had lived in the Commonwealth. The Czar had no use for them. While he did not hate the Jews, he also had no particular love for them. With 600,000 of the people now under his rule, Paul wondered what to do with them. He pronounced that the Jews were welcome to emigrate to Poland…should they desire. To encourage this, he ordered many of their schools of learning shut down, the first step to encourage them to move on.

Many did in relatively short order. For centuries, the Jews had been allowed to till the land of the Commonwealth, something unheard of in other nations which severely restricted Jewish land ownership or ties to the land. There was a reason why banking and other fields were often relegated to Jews. Those were the only options given to them by rulers whom viewed them as “residents” rather than “citizens”. But the Commonwealth had long been different and most of the world’s Jews had remained within her borders for centuries.

The trickle of Jewish migrants (as well as lesser numbers of Poles, Lithuanians and others not desiring to reside under the Czar’s iron clutches) west would turn to a flood, pleasing the Czar…but less so the Poles whom suddenly saw the urban centers of the newly renamed Kingdom of Poland and Lithuania choked with Jewish refugees from the East. For the first time in generations, wide-scale anti-Jewish sentiment rose among the Polish population already reeling from losing half the Commonwealth.

Jerusalem, Kingdom of Syria

The Syrian “Sultan” (often he would also go by “King”) would see a massive Arab revolt arrive from the east. Outraged as the large numbers of Bosniaks, Albanians, Alawites, Muslim Greeks, Romanians and Bulgarians, etc from the Balkans and the Anatolian Peninsula assuming defacto control over the cities of Syria, the Arabs of the east would rise up and attack several inland towns. The Sultan would call upon the Alawites, Druze, Maronite Christians and whom ever else he could (in the south the new European immigrants) to push them back. But the Sultan was not a terribly good administrator nor military man. The response was disjointed despite the advantages of he possessed. The rebellion droned on until the Sultan was forced to accept aid from the Russians and her puppet states of Alevistan and Kurdistan. Russian generals were put in command of the Sultan’s armies and only by 1813 would the Arab revolt be crushed.

The southerners in particular (the new immigrants) would force the Arabs from towns of Southern Syria in which they’d dwelt for centuries, if not millennia. Instead, many Arabs were forced south to the Hejaz or east into Mesopotamia with the European invaders moving into their homes and fields.

By 1815, it was apparent that the Syrian regime was too weak for effective central command and the Sultan was forced to delegate more and more power to the regional ethnic groups. Anything was preferable to ceding further authority to the Russians.

 

[Alt History Buff]

1811 - Fall

Manhattan

John Jay only barely managed to avoid a vote of no confidence over the 1811 budget. The debt from the previous war was yet to be paid in full (and wouldn't for a decade) while the economic recession from the loss of trade only slowly improved the fortunes of the nation.

All of this, though, harmed Jay's majority and it looked increasingly unlikely that he would last another year in power.

Unlike the old Parliament of Great Britain, America had a set four year cycle of elections (rather than whenever the King called them). King Frederick had the prerogative to do so but had never seen fit to call an early election (his late father did twice at the then-First Lord Benjamin Franklin's request in hopes of getting a larger majority). Elections were expensive and got peoples' ire up. The King didn't want that. If Jay could last until the November, 1812 Parliamentary election, that would be preferred. Jay promised to ATTEMPT to stay in power until then but did not promise to remain First Lord. By 1811, Jay was an old man as were his closest allies. Indeed, it was a miracle so many of his compatriots lasted until the ripe old age of sixty.

Maintaining a stable government on behalf of the King was only one of his reasons for remaining in office (rather than handing over the Government to another Minister). As the government grew increasingly unpopular, some of the Southern "Slave" Dominions were already trying to circumvent the Abolition Act of 1810. Laws intended to force slaves into a sort of debt peonage even years AFTER the formal manumission would be approved in South Carolina and North Carolina. These were already being challenged in the courts and looked likely to be struck down LONG before they came into practical effect but the very fact that they had been approved by Dominion Legislatures was vexing.

Of course, the ardent pro-slavery advocates were having trouble as well. Too many slaveowners were taking advantage of the $75 national reimbursement for freedmen for some Plantation Owner Society liking. But the frequent vanishing across the border of expensively acquired slaves was simply bankrupting too many plantation owners and they opted to get what they could WHILE they still could. Many believed the abolitionists would someday attempt to expedite the final date of manumission for all slaves (currently 1830) or withdraw the promise of reimbursement (true in some circles). Instead, they happily pocketed the money for their slaves and hired from the latest wave of indentures.

There was some internal movement of slaves. South Carolina was experiencing good prices for cotton, the latest cash crop, and was in need of mass amounts of unskilled labor. Thus many of the remaining Maryland, Virginia or North Carolina slaves were being sold south for better prices for a prime fieldhand than $75. Older slaves, younger slaves or females were often freed via national manumission as they were of less value.

Despite some Dominion laws mandating a forcible return to Africa (to avoid freedmen agitating the remaining slaves), this was not always followed faithfully. Many masters happily escorted their former chattel across Dominion lines rather than forcing them onto ships bound for the French colonies in Africa. Others were willing to free their chattel but wanted them to remain in Dominion as paid workers. Forcing freedmen from their borders just seemed a case of cutting off one's nose to spite one's face.

But, overall, nearly 70,000 slaves (again, often the least valuable) would sail for Africa from 1810 to 1817 (when the practice of mandatory expulsion was struck down by the courts). In truth, many non-slave dominion Parliamentarians were happy to be rid of the slaves altogether as they did not want large numbers of low skilled former slaves adding to the unemployment rates in northern cities. Some Abolitionist or Christian charities would help pay for slave resettlement in the west on cheap land.

The overall effect of all this was a drop in the quantity of men and women in bondage by nearly 36% in the decade of 1810 to 1817. While the ratio was high, spending $75 per head for 120,000 freedmen (again about 70,000 were also shipped to Africa on the national dime) was not a terrible hit to the American budget.

A further change included many of those remaining slaves being shifted from Maryland and Virginia to the Carolinas. At time of founding the nation, over half the slaves in America resided in Virginia and Maryland. By 1810, this had dipped below 100,000 total between the two dominions and many of these were effectively "retired" slaves being taken care of by their masters out of charity. They were also the first to be freed as hard cash trumped loyalty. Often the former slave-owners gifted the "freedmen" forced onto ships bound for Africa with some money to help their adjustment to their repatriation. Exactly how useful a few dollars of American currency was in Africa was up for debate.

Jay hated bowing to Parliamentary Compromise but this was the deal he'd struck. He would not, however, have to live with it long as it appeared his political career was coming to an end.

 

[Alt History Buff]

1812 - Spring


Cairo

Though the initial post-Ottoman independence, the new Khedive (or Sultan or King or Porte, it seemed to change by the day) would be relatively tolerant of the minority groups of Egypt, namely the Christians, the Shi’a and the assorted Sufi Orders. However, the year 1811 would see a dramatic reversal of these gains (from the minority point of view). Mostly, this was not due to domestic unrest but the political ambitions of the new Khedive to establish his credentials as the new leader of Islam (the Sunni leader, that is).

How he went about doing this was fairly straightforward: control the Holy Cities of Mecca and Medina as well as make noise regarding the chaotic events in the third holy city of Islam, Jerusalem (under the control over the “King” of Syria. Despite the Egyptian people being largely unchanged since the conquest of the region a thousand years ago, they had largely been “Arabized”, indeed the Egyptians considered themselves elites among the Arab world (again, despite not being technically Arab).

Thus the Egyptians would claim leadership of the Arab world and any local Peninsular tribes (like those of the more heavily populated Hejaz, would face Egyptian aggression. The initial invasion of 1811 would fail dismally as the Egyptian Red Sea fleet would be inadequate to the task of even properly carrying the army much less seizing the entire coast. Humiliated, the Egyptian Khedive would redouble his efforts in 1812 and, almost in a fit of pique, begin a self-destructive suppression of his largely loyal minority section of Egyptian society.

The aggression against the Syrian and Hejaz regimes would bring the remote corner of the Mediterranean to the greater consciousness of the regions burgeoning powers.

Paris

The first thawing of Franco-Spanish relations in decades would occur in 1811. Oddly, the impetus was not the pending unification of the Italian and Austrian thrones (though many members of Europe’s political classes expected SOME great power to object and the unification to be challenged from SOME great nation) but the sporadic upsurge in the steadily decaying threat of Barbary piratism. In times of peace, the growing European technological advantage would ensure than any of the stronger European nations could suppress piracy. Bizarre alliances like the Spanish/Papal/Danish/American alliance of the previous century had done wonders to suppress piracy.

In times of war, however, the distraction would allow several of the petty Barbary kingdoms to return to their previous profitable industry. This had occurred during the Spanish rebellion. In a rare bout of intelligence, the King of Spain would agree to the dying King of France’s request for an alliance to effectively pummel a few of these city-states to dust if they did not agree to halt their activities.

To the surprise of all, the Russian and Austrian Ambassadors would agree to aid the Spanish-French expeditions (if only to prove their own revulsion to white slavery and piracy). Thus, an oddly wide-ranging alliance would sail into Tunis harbor and level the city to the ground. Sale would soon follow. By 1812, the bulk of piracy in the Barbary states would end as quickly as it resurged.

The two largest states, Egypt and Morocco, had already deemed the institution illegal and had occasionally worked in concert with Europeans to crush the trade. By happenstance, an American warship was present to deliver an ultimatum to the Dey of Tunis and instead opted to throw in with the Europeans.

Though it was a small issue, the fact that the assorted powers of Europe actually agreed on anything was quite notable for the time. This would effectively be last major era of Barbary piracy.

Baghdad

The King of Mesopotamia (himself placed upon the throne by the Russian envoy) would, like the Egyptians, slowly make the religious and ethnic minority lives more and more difficult. Mandaeans, Zoroastrians, Jews, Christians and others would slowly find that violence against them was tolerated by authorities. The King of Mesopotamia had succeeded in evicting those groups evicted from Persia and now sought to do the same.


Ironically, this was occurring an a greater scale in some areas of Syria, where the ethnic Arab population was being pushed out by the European or Anatolian Muslims (as well as some other minority religions in Anatolia). With only a vague grasp on influence in Mesopotamia, the Czar’s Ministers flatly didn’t care much about what was happening in Baghdad. Besides, these assorted practitioners of Esoteric middle-eastern religions would hardly resonate in Moscow and France continued to offer sanctuary for these peoples in their colonial Empire.

What did a hundred thousand or some people matter to a Russian Empire of tens of millions?

Indeed, the Russian Ministers would see this as a potential solution to their Jewish problem. Having absorbed large numbers of Jews when annexing Ruthenia, would the French be interested in resolving the 500,000 or so Jews now under the Czar’s jurisdiction. The situation would grow more complex in 1812 when Czar Paul, though in outward good health, would notice that a persistent cough would grow exponentially worse over the summer. By fall, Czar Paul would be bedridden and presumed to be dying.

His son, Czaravitch Alexander, was an unknown commodity. However, unlike his father Paul (whom had largely allowed the Jews to carry on as before in the annexed territory), Alexander (and his primary advisors) didn’t even pretend to disguise his contempt for the Jews of Ruthenia.

Similarly, the Jewish people of the truncated Kingdom of Poland and Lithuania (so renamed from the Commonwealth) would face an increasing level of unprovoked aggression from their Polish neighbors, some of whom somehow viewed the Jews as being partially culpable in the division of their former Commonwealth. Incidentally, the Ruthenians (Little Russians) would blame the Jews as being party to the hated Polish Oppression of previous generations.

In a very short period of time, the primary homeland of the Jewish people for centuries would grow increasingly uncomfortable on BOTH sides of the border.

On a voyage to Paris in early 1812 (prior to being informed of his father’s ill-health), Czaravitch Alexander would inquire with the King of France (and his heir, the Dauphin) if the French Empire in the West Indies (or Bourbonia for that matter) would be interested in an influx of “superfluous people” currently residing in Ruthenia.

Manila

Though the “official” policy of the Mandarin Emperor was not to settle large numbers of people in the former Philippines, the Han immigration would remain steady over the years. Eventually, the Chinese would come to dominate more and more of the larger cities and towns of Luzon and Mindanao. Indeed, by 1812, the Chinese were beginning to demographically challenge the Muslim population of Mindanao. This led to predicable resistance in among the local Sultans (or Chiefs, etc), resistance which was swiftly put down by Chinese soldiers. Instead, the Emperor would dispatch MORE settlers to ensure future control. In a way, the relatively meek submission (in Chinese terms) of the Nipponese Emperor to the Mandarin would alter expectations of how the Christian Luzanites and Muslim Mindanaons should submit. The Christians would prove less violent in their resistance (after a few massacres of rioting Christians natives in Manilla) but several Muslim Clerics of Mindanao (though not, by any circumstances the majority or possess anything resembling unity) declared Jihad against the Chinese “infidels”.

This would prove a rather large mistake as Chinese repression over the next several decades would resemble mass murder of civilian populations.

 

[Alt History Buff]

1812 - Fall

New Orleans, Dominion of Hanover

Now the "butt" of local jokes for being found hanging from a tree with his trousers around his ankles, "James Smith" (aka Armstrong Hyman Thruston) would quietly be drummed out of the army and quietly be granted passage on a Spanish ship sailing from New Orleans or Spain. He lacked adequate funds for the voyage thus his commander would furtively pay for Smith's passage out of army funds marked on the ledgers as intended to return maimed soldiers home. Smith, whom had fled out west and joined the army with the intention of keeping OUT of the public eye, discovered to his dismay that fighting Spanish, running from surly Indians, starving in mountain passes to the extent that eating one's commander seemed the preferable option and then being mauled by an ill-tempered River Cow in fact had the opposite effect of elongating Smith's life. Only the fact that no one identified him from the hordes of inaccurate portrayals in print (Smith had never sat for a portrait prior to his attempted regicide) prevented anyone from recognizing the infamous assassin of George Washington.

As the attempt to play down the cannibalism of the "Biddle Party" survivors had plainly failed (everyone in New Orleans knew Smith by sight), it was finally decided to be rid of the man and Smith was mercifully "honorably discharged". In truth, Smith was relieved. More than anything he desired to escape the Kingdom of British North America and now the nation was actually paying for his passage. While Smith had no idea what he would do in Spain, anything was better than remaining in a nation liable to hang him if he ever spoke his true name out loud.

With a sign of relief, the battered but still intact Armstrong Hyman Thruston would see the mainland of North America recede.

Nassau

Joel Poinsett was a South Carolina-born son of a prosperous physician. A highly regarded scholar (he'd studied at Yale, Edinburgh and Paris), Poinsett would opt against a legal career and instead enter government service. For much of the past decade, the thirty-three year old would serve as Ambassador, Envoy and whatever capacity in which he was suited. Highly respected by all whom came to know him for his diverse wealth of knowledge and his capacity to speak fluent Spanish, Portuguese, French and Latin (and a smidgeon of German).

With this skill set, Poinsett would be dispatched to various outposts of the Spanish Empire to petition on behalf of American trade. In the years immediately before the war, Poinsett had done an admirable job in locales as diverse as Buenos Aires, Lima, Rio de Janeiro, Havana and others. When dispatched to San Diego in 1811 (more to scout potential expansion than any interest in trade with the lightly populated locality). Here, Poinsett would be instrumental in quietly arranging for powder to be dispatched to the rebels centered in Valladolid (without permission from Manhattan).

Recalled in 1812, Poinsett would be disappointed to learn he had been "promoted" to govern the vast stretches of the recently acquired Bahama Islands based upon his knowledge of Spanish language and customs. Poinsett pointed out that this was irrelevant as the islands were so lightly populated that customs didn't matter much. Wrecking, fishing, salting and piracy had been the only livelihoods in the Bahama Islands over the centuries and Poinsett could not imagine this changing in the near future. But he had been reprimanded by the Foreign Minister for breaking American neutrality and was assured that this was the only short-term position available to him.

Fully expecting to be bored out of his mind, Poinsett took the assignment as "requested". As he expected, the post of Governor of the Bahama Islands was dull as one could imagine. Within only a few thousands Spanish residents, the islands did not exactly see an influx of American settlers. What was to attract them? Walking along sandy beaches?

This was a punishment posting and everyone knew it. Poinsett would wonder why he even accepted. Did he merely wish to prolong a career which may already be over?

As it was, Poinsett soon found something else to interest him. With Spain in poor financial shape due to the recent war and ongoing rebellion in New Spain, the latest treasure shipment from Peru was ordered to sail a bit earlier than usual. While the Spanish ships still raised anchor after the typical end of hurricane season, it was nevertheless still earlier than many sailors preferred.

The fears were soon bourn out when a late hurricane would batter the five ship convoy as it sailed through the Bahamas. Only two ships would survive to make for Havana. One was lost far out at sea with all hands. The other two would be torn upon the reefs on islands near Nassau, only a few dozen men managing to reach shore in lifeboats. When Poinsett first learned of the tragedy, he did what natives of the Bahama Islands had done for centuries: he flew to the scene and began collecting gold and silver being washed upon the shores. A mish-mash of Spanish, American and whomever was on hand eagerly joined in on the hunt for treasure. Wreckers would soon gather an estimated 450,000 American pounds sterling over the coming weeks. This was only a fraction of what was lost to Spain but enough to make many men fabulously wealthy, including Poinsett whom was by now thinking better of his assignment.

He would return to the mainland in 1813 with over 60,000 American pounds sterling (at the exchange from Spanish currency) and spend a year Charleston. His father, still practicing medicine, would retire upon his son's income. Indeed, he even turned over the two teenaged house slaves the widowed Poinsett had purchased in recent years to his son and sailed for France for a quiet retirement. Finding the mulatto women quite comely, Poinsett would, from 1813 to 1828, sire 19 children between them. The women would remain in Poinsett's "ownership" until the extinction of the institution but the children (at least 3/4's and possible as much as 7/8's white) would never officially be referred to as slaves. Instead, they would later inherit vast tracks of farmland Poinsett would purchase in West and East Florida and largely marry into the white underclass (by this point, Poinsett had spent most of his gains and would die land rich but money poor). The Poinsett name would live on through this large brood and largely descend into poor white trash over the next 200 years.

Of course, many other ships would be lost in the Hurricane of 1812. Among these was one bearing a certain James Smith. Fortunately for the latter, Smith managed to survive the destruction of his ship by clinging to a half-empty rum barrel and was washed ashore upon a largely deserted island. By sheer luck, Smith found a moderately clean water source (rare in these islands) in a well apparently dug many years before in a failed settlement upon the unnamed Bahama Island (he didn't even know where he was). There were large numbers of feral goats to consume (and provide milk) and sea turtles to consume (as meat and eggs).

Cursing his fate, Smith cried aloud to God "What did I do to deserve this?!"

Then his mouth shut as he remembered just what he did to deserve this.

 

[Alt History Buff]

1813, Spring

Manhattan

As expected, the relatively short Ministry of John Jay finally fell in the spring of 1813 due to the expansion of factionism: regional factions, proslavery or anti-slavery factions, trade factions, economic factions and, most of all, factions based upon personal rivalry. This latest had been a feature of the last British Parliaments (prior to conquest) as powerful men would vie for control, not on issues but individual vendettas. British North America was seldom so crass...not because of superior character but the fact that individual powerful men lacked the ability to purchase Parliamentary seats to the extent that they did in Britain. There were no rotten boroughs, no "interest seats" (like those reserved for the Admiralty or Clergy) and the much higher proportion of voter participation would prevent a man "owning" dozens of seats, enough to ensure a position in the Ministry.

Instead, men fought with issues, leading their factions no matter how obscure. As always with powerful men, their petty feuds would assume precedence.

The Vote of No Confidence in John Jay's government would occur in early 1813. The reason was...well, unknown. The Vote of No Confidence was passed over a petty trade agreement with the Netherlands, one virtually all of Parliament could not possibly care about. In the end, people were simply frustrated with John Jay and wanted him cast out. Thus, Jay became the first First Lord of the Treasury to be forced from office (Franklin, Sherman and Adams all left of their own accord, or at least under their terms before they were relieved).

This did not mean that new elections had to be called. The 1812 election, in fact, was only 6 months in the past. The King had the option to call a new election but had no intention of doing so. It wasn't the fault of the King or the people whom created this mess, but Parliament. Let THEM try to fix it first. Instead, King Frederick, whom by now knew the ways of Parliament better than most Parliamentarians, would accept Jay's resignation from the Ministry (as well as his seat in Parliament) and calmly sat back to wait to find out what the opposing factions of Parliament would do having "won".

The King was not surprised that the assortment of factions whom had brought down Jay would not have a definitive answer to that question. There was no organization to the internal revolt, just a venting of frustration. With Jay's resignation, the factions looked at one another and noticed that quite often their "allies" were more politically aligned against THEM than Jay had ever been. Without that single focus of outrage or resentment, there was no particular organization left.

Instead, weeks of argument went by (as Jay's colleagues would run a ghostly ministry in the interim) as it became readily apparent that none of these groups were powerful enough to force the rest of the Ministry from their positions. Instead, the King simply waited until everyone in Manhattan realized this fact and went about selecting another. King Frederick knew that the old guard of the Independence generation (like Jay) were dying off. The slightly younger men like Hamilton, Monroe, Madison, Laurens and others were somewhat unacceptable for one reason or another (Hamilton had been wracked by scandal while men from the "Slave Dominions" were unpopular nationally).

Thus, after weeks of thought culminating of Parliamentarians coming hat in hand to the King, Frederick would select the young New Yorker, Dewitt Clinton. Clinton came from a first line political family and was willing to accept keeping most of the old Ministry (Hamilton, Monroe and Laurens, among others). This would allow the opposition something to oppose and life largely got back to normal.

However, the King feared for the future as the rise of factionalism was soon to be followed by partisanship.

The Maratha Empire

The Maratha conflict with the Kingdom of Nepal (ruled by the Shah family) would rage from 1808 to 1813. The origins of the conflict were confusing to say the least but probably had much to do with the fact that the centralization of the Maratha Empire required a certain constant expansion...to avoid looking too closely inward at the flaws of the nation.

By 1813, the strongest of the regional families had yielded their armies and tax revenues to the Peshwa, in effect yielding their political power. Over the coming decades, the royal families would be dominated by "advisors" from Pune whom would overthrow any recalcitrant monarchs opposing the Peshwa's will.

At the fore of this movement were a series of skilled generals. Among these was the former British East India Company functionary, Arthur Wellesley, whom proved to be such a skilled general. Wellesley would be installed upon the throne of the former Shah Dynasty in Nepal (a primarily Hindu region). Wellesley would agree that his children would be raised in the faith of their mother (a bastard niece of the Peshwa). Now in his forties, Wellesley would find himself upon a throne, beholden to Pune, like many of the new Princes, Kings, Rajas, etc of the Indian subcontinent.

 

[Alt History Buff]

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[Alt History Buff]

Quebec
Montreal
Nova Scotia
Charlottia (New Brunswick, former Acadia west of the Isthmus of Chignecto)
Newfoundland
Vermont (including the contested Hampshire Grants and the western portion of the former district of Maine under the colony of Massachusetts)
Sagadahock (formerly the eastern portion of the district of Maine under the colony of Massachusetts)
Massachusetts
Rhode Island and Providence Plantations
Connecticut
New York
Long Island
Manhattan
New Jersey
Pennsylvania
Delaware
Maryland
Virginia
Kanawha (West Virginia)
North Carolina
Catabwa (West North Carolina)
South Carolina
Wateree (West South Carolina)
Georgia
West Florida (South Alabama, South Mississippi and Florida Panhandle)
Mississauga (Peninsular Ontario)
Maumee (Western Kentucky)
Shawnee (Eastern Kentucky)
Westsylvania (Western Pennsylvania)
Watauga (Eastern Tennesee)
Tennessee (Western Tennesee)
Hanover (Louisiana)
Caledonia (Parts of Northern Texas and Oklahoma)
Aethiopia (Southern Texas and parts of northeast Mexico)
Arkansas
Miami (OTL Indian)
Ohio (Most of OTL Ohio)
Michigan (Lower Peninsula)
East Florida and the Bahama Islands (Florida minus Panhandle)
Indiana (northern Mississippi and Alabama)

List of named North American Territories:

Chicago (Illinois)
Hudson (Northern Ontario)
Marquette (Wisconsin)
Cappadocia
Belgica
Thracia
Lusitania
Aquitania
Hiberia
Mauretania
Cilicia
Pannonia

 

[Alt History Buff]

1813 Summer

Manhattan

King Frederick I of British North America would return from his summer procession (this time to Montreal and Quebec with stops along the way in New York) with a greater understanding of his realms. At the time of his birth, these regions were only just beginning to be demographically dominated by Englishmen (or, at least, English speakers). The French population was around 70,000 at the end of the 7 years war. To Frederick's regret, over half of these people were subsequently run out and replaced by migrating Americans or British/Irish immigrants.

By now, the French were in a significant minority despite these regions receiving the lion's share of the modest French immigration to America (there and New Orleans were the most common destinations of the one or two thousand French immigrants per year).

The King had promised to see Mississauga, Michigan, Miami and Ohio in 1814. He was not looking forward to THAT trip. But summer processions were what Kings did and the people deserved to see their King on a semi-regular basis. Still, Frederick was getting old enough to be tired of such voyages.

Upon his return to Manhattan, the King was provided with a new map of the augmented Western Territories. As best as Frederick I could see, someone was just redrawing map lines to make their own mark...a mark likely to be erased in the next administration. For a time, the King considered refusing the First Lord's request. But Clinton had been chosen BY HIM not too long ago and renaming places with no population which he'd never see just didn't seem worth damaging a relationship with his new First Lord.

Naturally, First Lord Dewitt Clinton would not dare to recommend any new territorial designations. However, he DID imply that something may be named after HIM. Frederick sighed. It was often amazing just how much time and effort were wasted.

Frederick knew better than to allow this game to be played. Sooner or later, even man in Parliament would want a territory named after him. Instead, the King opted to name three new territories in the same fashion he had before: picking archaic territorial names from antiquity. The King always enjoyed reading of the Roman Empire (with a start, he realized HIS Kingdom was already larger than the Roman Empire, in geographical size at least).

He opted for Pannonia, Cilicia and Mauretania for the new (or redrawn) territories. In order to mollify Clinton, the King instead recommended a new settlement out west where surveyors were looking for likely spots for new towns (or army bases) and informed the First Lord that one of these settlements would be named Clinton in honor of the late James Clinton, the First Lord's uncle whom had recently died after a lifetime of service to the Crown.

As expected, this was accepted without further demur from Dewitt Clinton and the King was allowed to get back to his business.

As it was, the First Lord had his own problems as men were retiring from the Cabinet he'd inherited from John Jay. John Laurens was not in the best of health. Alexander Hamilton was willing to retire, provided his son Philip would assume his place in Parliament and the government. John Quincy Adams had returned to America and assumed HIS father's place in Parliament. Too powerful to be ignored, it was mooted that the younger Adams would become the new Foreign Minister. Other men like Henry Clay and Daniel Webster were pushing for positions in the government as well.

King Frederick wondered when personal rivalry and arrogance would soon determine the rise and fall of Ministries as they had in Britain in the 1750's to its death in 1763. Many historians were of the opinion that this factionalism would someday doom America as well as it had Great Britain.

Mindanao

By 1813, the Muslim rebels had largely been crushed. The remnant of the local Islamic Sultans had been hunted down and killed in their strongholds. Chinese and Luzanite migrants crossed the narrow straights and were swiftly making island ever more diverse racially and religiously.

Dzungaria, the Tarim Basin

Nearly a century prior, the Qing Dynasty had crushed the Dzungar Khanate. There had been some discussion at the time to wipe out the Buddhist peoples of this region (Mongoloid for the most part). However, the Muslim Uyghurs to the south of Dzungaria would give the distant Mandarin Emperor in Beijing pause.

Instead, he accepted the Dzungar submission and, as some expected, the Uyghurs became the greater threat. When the Uyghurs naturally rebelled from their nominal subordination, the Dzungars and their Mongol cousins to the north would prove decisive in the Qing victory. The Uyghurs were pressed from the Tarim Basin between Dzungaria and Tibet in the early 19th century, with Mongols and Han invited to assume their place in the Tarim Basin.

This Uyghur revolt and the repeated problems in Mindanao would result in a vicious Chinese repression of the faith (not unlike the Christian suppression of earlier centuries).

Tibet

The Qing authority over Tibet had been established the better part of a century earlier when the Qing aided Tibet in repulsing a Nepalese invasion. Naturally, the Qing would assume political ascendancy by putting in place a system of government in which they could maintain nominal control. Over the past century, Tibet would be viewed as a protectorate of China...but not a Province. Eventually, the modest Chinese garrison would shrink in the peace from 3000 soldiers down to a nominal few hundred. Happy to be ignored by Beijing, the assorted Lamas (though irritated that the selection process was influence by the Han) would simply live out their lives in obscurity from the rest of the world.

The 9th Dalai Lama (only 8 years old in 1813 and would die in 1815) would receive an odd letter from the new Raja of Nepal, the Irish-born Arthur Wellesley, asserting that the new dynasty in Nepal (a subject of the Peshwa) carried no claims upon Tibetan territory. He apologized for the invasion of nearly a century past and assured the Dalai Lama that the Buddhist minority in Nepal would be welcome to practice their faith without restriction. Confused, the Dalai Lama's attendants would return a similarly courteous letter to Katmandu expressing their own good will.

A copy was sent to Beijing by the Tibetan government to reiterate their loyalty to their "protector". The mid-level Chinese functionary whom received it spent about 30 seconds reviewing the contents and filed it away, not to be read again for nearly 200 years. In truth, the bureaucrat had no idea where Nepal was, that it had once invaded Tibet or that the new Raja was a European beholden to the Peshwa.

He was only glad it was not something he had to care about or deal with.

 

[Alt History Buff]

Chapter 208:

Winter 1813


Valladolid


Though it took several years, the reinforcements requested by Carlos IV’s Ministers belatedly began to arrive in New Spain from his other colonies. By 1813, over 7600 colonial troops would arrive in New Spain to augment the 6000 Spanish regulars shipped from the Peninsula and the varying number of local “Loyalists” under command of the local gentry.

The impetus of this influx of manpower was not so much that the other Spanish colonies were necessarily imbued with a sudden onset of patriotism. Indeed, many colonials sympathized with the rebels. The true cause of the belated contribution to the Crown was that increasing radicalism occurring among the Valladolid government.

For decades….really, for CENTURIES…the Spanish colonial gentry would call for the delegation of local power….to themselves. However, the Radical government in Valladolid would suddenly decide that ALL colonials would have an equal say in things, not just the elites. This the colonial gentry found more heinous than being totally under control by the Peninsulares.

Though may of the lower castes of the Spanish Empire would continue encouraging the rebellion, the gentry which controlled the admittedly limited local Cortes and lower level positions like tax collector, customs inspector, judges, etc, would suddenly think better of this idea and instead began contributing resources to aid the Crown against these “traitors”. Rather than patriots, the rebels began to be openly dismissed as following the “Protestant Path”. Nothing incited Spaniards more than being accusing of supporting the loathsome religion.

By late 1813, the Spanish rebels centered about Valladolid had been pushed totally from the area of Mexico city and towards the borders of Valladolid and Guadalajara, the twin centers of colonial rebellion. In a daring strike, Spanish cavalry leveled the town of Chihuahua to the north as punishment for throwing its weight behind the rebellions.

Francisco Miranda had managed to convince many Mestizo and Indian leaders to support the rebellion in return for equal political power for all. This brought a great deal of local manpower but perhaps less international support than he’d hoped. Few monarchies wanted to support rebellions. Only the Russians and some Americans dared trade with the rebels (though King Frederick of America would condemn any American involvement).

The rebellion became more and more of a peasant revolt. While this had some benefits, the transformation would also strain the already dangerous relationship between the local elites (whom saw themselves as the natural leaders of a new nation), the peasants (largely Mestizo with some Indians), the clergy (which was divided between reactionaries and liberals) and the radical politicos.

The fertile lands between the smoking ruin of Mexico City and the beleaguered cities of Valladolid and Guadalajara would be leveled, causing streams of refugees to flow in all directions. Some 50,000 would even sail to California during the years of 1811 to 1813, an unheard of amount of migration relative to past population movements in the region. This trend would only continue in the future as “disloyal” Indian tribes and copses of villages would suffer repeated devastation and peasants, desperate for a place to go, would flee wherever safety beckoned.

 

[Alt History Buff]

1814 - Spring

Madrid

The Royal Family went into mourning as the Infante breathed his last. No one was entirely certain of what killed the Prince. After a night of binge eating and binge drinking, the Infante was found dead in the morning, vomit clogging his throat. Some whispered poison but the Royal Doctors would find this unlikely given that no blood was found in the vomit. Instead, the youth probably passed out on his back and chocked on his own vomit.

It was considered an apt end to the Infante. Widely derided by those whom knew him best, the Infante was at once lazy, cowardly, suspicious, lying and, according to some rumors, inclined to overthrow his father but feared his mother too much.

Next in line was Carlos, the twenty-six year old Prince named the new Infante. Like his brother, Carlos was an Absolutist whom held no particular affection for delegating power. However, he was not desirous of assuming the responsibility himself. Indeed, Carlos probably would have preferred a quiet life in the army or at some remote Cortes. However, God had chosen him to be the next King and the next King he would be.

His Mother's enemies would hope to entice Carlos to overthrow the Royal Couple in Madrid but this Carlos refused to countenance, even condemning several nobles whom had the temerity to suggest as such. His mother, satisfied that Carlos would never attempt to seize the throne, nevertheless went to great lengths to distance the new heir from actual power....namely HER actual power.

Presently, the point was made that a marriage should be arranged shortly. Historically, marriages of the Spanish Royal Family had been with other Catholic monarchies, the Portuguese most prominently. However, poor relations with Portugal since the peasant rebellion in the Argarve would prevent a dynastic marriage with their neighbors despite having one or two available and suspiciously attractive Princesses (both Regent Joao and his wife, Princess Carlota of Spain and Carlos' aunt, were notoriously ugly, nearly as ugly as Carlos' parents). Many suspected Carlota of having lovers....just as many suspected Carlos' mother of having lovers. God knew that the Infante was infinitely better looking than his father Carlos IV.

But that was neither here nor there. At the moment, few princesses of suitable rank were available. Carlos had received good word of some of the Polish Princesses. He opted to travel a bit and see if any struck his fancy.

Lisbon

Regent Joao of Portugal (his mother still nominally Queen but mad as a hatter) would face similar problems. While not quite the half-wit that Carlos IV was, Joao was similarly lampooned for his mediocre mind, his vacillation and his corpulence. His wife, Carlota, was always plotting against him and he'd effectively banished her from his presence. Carlota had reportedly been plotting to put one of their sons (assuming they were really HIS sons) upon the throne of Portugal. This didn't seem likely as Carlota, as a Spanish Princess, was utterly loathed by most Portuguese, and it was laughable that anyone would listen to her schemes to put their fifteen year old son on the throne.

Joao would keep the Princess from Court to keep her out of his hair. One night, after a modest meal, a great pain struck the King's innards. He coughed up blood for days and expired. Poison was widely suspected but could not be proven. Almost two centuries later, tests would reveal enough arsenic in his system to kill two men.

Princess Carlota pronounced herself as the regent for the new regent, her teenage son Pedro. The Portuguese nobility was aghast, none daring to openly accuse the Princess of murdering her husband. Eventually, an agreement was made in which a sort of committee led by the Princess and the new Infante would rule in the name of Mad Queen Maria (whom might of been the only women in Portugal to like Carlota, oddly enough. This more or less proved her madness to the minds of her subjects).

Paris

Against all expectations, King Louis XVI would live on, even improving a bit from 1813 to 1814. However, the Austrian-born Maria Queen Antoinette would expire in the Spring of a rapidly developing tumor on the bladder. Both the King and Dauphin would grieve and lay the Queen to rest with the French Royalty.

 

[Alt History Buff]

Fall, 1814

Manhattan

Dewitt Clinton had long coveted the position of First Lord, though it would be said that no man whom had ever held the position would congratulate a friend on obtaining it. Almost within hours of ascending to the head of government, Clinton was already being besieged by job-seekers, favor seekers and rivals hoping to bring him down.

As was expected, both Philip Hamilton and John Quincy Adams joined the government. As scions of former high-ranking leaders, this was expected. To be honest, Clinton was grateful to have them. Hamilton was deeply supportive in the Finance position and the New Yorker enjoyed his countryman’s company. Adams was perhaps as pompous as his father, with a glacial personality, but made a good Foreign Secretary. The man was smart and didn’t appear to covet the top position himself. That was adequate for Clinton.

But, of course, trouble makers were common. Henry Clay of Shawnee enjoyed playing both sides against the middle for his own benefit. Andrew Jackson and John Calhoun of Kanawha spent more time with their personal feuds against various Virginians than any productive reason (due to the attacks by pro-slavery Virginians on Thomas Jefferson and Moses Calhoun). The talented Daniel Webster of New Hampshire was just kind of an ass.

Clinton was already exhausted with dealing with the personalities. The host of contentious issues on tap over the next few years would give his rivals plenty of ammunition to strike at the ministry.

Disgusted with the entire process, Clinton decided to take in a play by the noted Anglo-Irish actor, George Canning. Canning was the son of Mary Ann Costello, a noted actress in her own right. Rumor had it that the young actor Junius Booth had joined the family company to make a spectacular Hamlet in the Hanover Theater on Manhattan. The King had already seen the performance and no doubt every local of means would be sure to catch a performance. Only the heavy duties of late had kept the First Lord from attending. The King was kind enough to offer his own private box at the theater to the First Lord whenever Clinton so desired.

As it so happened, the famed acting troop would be invited for coffee with the First Lord after the performance. Clinton congratulated them for their skill and inquired as to what brought the Anglo-Irish troops to America. He would learn that the actors had effectively lost their livelihood in the latest British war and sought a living in America.



Mecca and Medina

After years of toil, the Khedive of Egypt finally managed to seize the Holy Cities of Mecca and Medina. Declaring himself the new “Protector” of Islam, the Khedive began to alter the long-established practice of allowing all Muslims, regardless of branch, access to the Holy Cities. Shi’a and other sects, as well as Sufi Orders, would find themselves rejected from the Holy Lands, infuriating many.

As it was, the Khedive did not limit his suppression to Muslim Apostates. In Egypt itself, he would withdraw a number of protections to the Christian and other minority populations and also closed many Sufi Orders.

As the self-described “Protector of the Orthodox Faith” (using much the same language as the Khedive), the Czar would quietly threaten to blockade the coast of Egypt unless Christians were allowed to worshp freely. When the Khedive ignored this “request”, the Czar followed through on his threat and cut off the Nile from trade. With modern warships of their Black Sea Fleet and their “allies” like Greece, Romania and Bulgaria, the mouth of the Nile was closed.

Krakow, Vienna

The Russian repression of the Jews in Ruthenia would soon reach such a point that neighboring countries like Austria and Poland would close off their borders and refuse to take any more.

It was at this time that the ailing King of France agreed to give the Jews a new “Homeland” in Saint Dominque and the French West Indies, granting full freedom to worship to any Jew whom arrived. While Jews in the West Indies were long established in the old Slave Trade, their numbers were seldom high. Few French ministers believed than overly man Jews would opt to travel to the West Indies.

Of course, the Czar of Russia and the King of Poland would soon give them less and less choice in the matter.

Similarly, the Spanish Empire and the Kingdom of British North America, having just fought what some called a “Holy War” (in reality, nothing more than a border dispute) would face increasing anxiety about members of the wrong faith entering their country. America had never had any real borders to Catholics or Jews. It was simply understood that this would be a protestant country and few of those other faiths would bother to immigrate. But the increasing fear of a “Catholic Conspiracy” would remain in the hearts of Americans and, for the first time, actual laws limiting residency or citizenship to “foreign Catholics” were enacted. These were highly controversial and would receive widespread acclaim as well as contempt. Several Parliamentarians over the past few years (mainly from Montreal, Quebec, Pennsylvania, Maryland or Virginia) would serve as Catholics as America had no laws limiting representation by virtue of faith.

The Spanish King had an easier path. He simply signed the law written by his Ministers. Only “invited” non-Catholics, usually bankers or technological experts, were allowed to reside in the Spanish Empire. With so many in Madrid suspecting that the insurrection in New Spain was a secret Protestant plot (certainly it was widely derided as so by the government and much of the clergy) to overthrow the Catholic Empire. The relatively small number of Protestant (or Jewish) immigrants to the region would dry up, only tolerated if necessary.

Thus, the future immigration patterns to the Americas were getting set in stone with the vast number of Protestants coming to the Kingdom and the Catholics residing in the Empire. The Jews, of course, would be stuck in between.



South Zealand, American Pacific Islands

Over the course of the past few decades, the modest whaling and timber settlements had grown exponentially. Over 70,000 settlers (mostly Americans but some Europeans from the Maratha Empire as well) now called North and South Zealand home despite fierce local opposition. The Maori were a violent people and the American colonies would likely have been pushed into the sea had it not been for epidemics like smallpox decimating the native population. The French were viewed as a godsend as the “recruiters” from Bourbonia would take its own toll on Maori culture by carrying off whomever they could get their hands on in order to work the sugar plantations and wool ranches of the vast island to the northwest.


By 1814, the Americans very much had the advantage over the remaining natives and were methodically settling corners of the islands. Like the Scottish highlanders, the native civilization was pressed further and further into the hills and mountains in order to forestall conquest by the invaders. Unlike the French, the Americans found the Maori virtually impossible to tame as a source of labor and many would rejoice at the aboriginals being wiped out for being a threat to steal livestock or attack isolated settlements. Only by the 1840’s would the slowly developing government, so far removed from the center of power in Manhattan, begin to take a similar approach to Maori relations as did Americans taken with the Native Americans of the Eastern Seaboard. If the people would adopt white ways, they would be granted land.

The Great Plains, Kingdom of British North America

In North America, many “reservations” were being set up for the “civilized” tribes of the east whom worked the land which would not be granted to the western Plains Indians whom were viewed with the same contempt by Americans as Bedouins were treated by the invading European Muslims of Southern Syria. The Comanche and Apache of the south and the Cheyenne and Sioux of the northern would be pressed up against the mountains in the years to come.

California

For the next forty years, many tribes would take the terrible road of exile into Spanish territory through the southern mountains. Thousands would die en route to California. There, they would find they were joined by large numbers of Mestizos and Indians from the south displaced by the ongoing rebellion in New Spain.

Throughout California, the remnants of tribes were fight for dominance and land. No longer able to survive as nomadic hunters, the Indians would conquer one another, steal women and eventually be conquered by another tribe. The resulting polyglot would little represent the diverse peoples that had once roamed the Great Plains. Instead, Cheyanne bred with Hopi, the resultant tribe would be absorbed by a Cheyenne/Blackfoot group, and all would remain mired to the land around Mestizo settlements, no longer able to hunt in territory no longer suited to that lifestyle.

 

[Alt History Buff]

1814 - Winter

Madrid

Queen Maria Louisa was not in the best of health. Taking a inter chill, the old woman would retreat from Court for several months, perhaps leaving her husband to his own devices for the longest period since their marriage. Even those times when separated by pregnancy were not terribly long. In truth, the Queen was not worried that her weak and malleable husband may begin to assert his own authority. That hadn't happened in the decades they had known one another and Carlos IV was unlikely to start thinking for himself now.

In truth, a number of nobles, courtiers and other powerful men (often excluded from power or out of favor by the Queen) would encourage the King to change Ministers. Some even approached the new Infante, Carlos, after he returned from his trip across Europe. But the Prince would not accept anything that undermined his family's Royal Authority. Instead, the Prince duly informed his father....whom didn't even bother to inform his Ministers of the dissent. Without his wife, Carlos IV would merely wait for instruction from the men whom his wife ordered him to obey.

In the meantime, the insurrection in New Spain continued and even expanded somewhat as another peasant revolt would rise up in the area of the silver mines of Zacatecas. Beyond the annoyance of having to put down yet another revolt, this also cut off a large amount of badly needed hard currency.

As it so happened, trouble was brewing elsewhere in the House of Spanish Bourbon realms. Naples itself remained peaceful enough but the aging King Victor Emmanuel of Italy, whom had pronounced his daughter his heiress rather than follow Salic Law and grant title to his brother Charles Felix, would face significant resistance from both high and low born at this arrangement. This was not due to Charles Felix' popularity. Far from it. More the people of the Kingdom of Italy, whom had united most of the Italian people and half the territory under one flag, was about to be subsumed (in the Italian mind) by the unification with the House of Habsburg.

The German/Hungarian/etc Habsburgs possessed more prosperous regions and the northern half of the Italian peninsula would likely take a subservient role when united dynastically at some point in the future by the King's grandson, the boy Francis Victor of Austria, whom was also the son of Emperor Francis of Austria. Technically the boy's parents would rule each domain separately, potentially for decades, before the young Francis Victor would see them unified under his own personal union. But Princes Maria Beatrice was already intent upon allowing her husband direct control over her domains when her father passed.

Given King Victor's ill-health, this seemed likely sooner rather than later.

Many Italians were unhappy with the situation and went so far as to approach the King's younger brother, Charles Felix, to press for his own claims under Salic Law. The downside of this was that Charles Felix was a notorious reactionary and would be aghast at siding with rebels, even to put himself on the throne. Another modest problem was that Charles Felix was childless and the last of the direct (Salic-Law) male descendants of the main Savoyard line.

An alternative option was Charles Albert, a distant cousin whom would be next in line. He was reportedly sympathetic to the reform faction in Rome and Milan...but also not inclined to rebel, not least because he didn't believe rebels would win.

Many Spanish nobles would look upon the situation and consider throwing Spain's considerable weight behind one or the other of these challengers but doubted that anything short of total war with Northern Italy...and therefore Austria...was likely to alter this state of affairs. And with the poor performance of the Spanish Army in the recent war with America and putting down the rebellion in New Spain, it was apparent that even a total war with some support from Northern Italian factions would hardly be a given.

This was one of the reasons why the Spanish Court was quietly re-approaching Bourbon France, itself carrying on a number of internal problems related to the ill-health of Louis XVI and the weakness of his heir.

Later historians would look upon this era with a level of contempt for the general paucity of impressive leaders throughout Europe. Francis II, Victor Emmanuel, Carlos IV, Louis XVI, Frederick William III (Prussia), Paul of Russia, William IV of England (now Wessex), Christian of Denmark (died childless in 1808 and left the government to his brother Frederick VI), etc, etc.

As such, the Spanish Ministers could not find adequate allies to oppose this unification between Northern Italy and Austria which would leave Naples so terribly in danger. Ironically, the only other power whom seemed to care and might potentially be willing to aid Spain was the newly renamed "Northern Confederation", a protestant-led assortment of northern German, Scandinavian and others states. The Spanish Court was aghast at the idea of allying with Protestants and redoubled their efforts at reminding France of the danger of a united Austria-Italy.

However, the French court, after over 60 years of continuous expansion, had fortified its own borders over the years to the point that the French believed themselves invulnerable to invasion (they might have been right). In addition to their own lands, the French had client states like the Palatinate, Baden, Wurttemberg and other western German Catholic states along their frontier. Thus the French were not inclined to make this unification, which seemed to far away anyway, a political priority.

 

[Alt History Buff]

1815 - Spring

Moscow

Having no particular use for the large numbers of Jews Russia had recently acquired, Czar Paul would allow his son Alexander to deal with them. In truth, Paul had been relatively soft on the assorted minorities of Russia relative to some of his predecessors. No one was entirely certain why but the Prince would intensely dislike the people and saw no reason why they should remain.

It was Prince Alexander whom worked with the French Ambassador to arrange transport for a "select few" Jews to their new homeland in Saint Domingue. Over 20,000 Jews would be emptied out of several northern Ruthenia districts and put on boats hired by the French and Russian government bound for the West Indies. The exact nature of this new "homeland" was nebulous. Would they be effectively marooned upon the island like the Gypsies, forbidden to leave?

No one was certain.

But the young King of Poland, whom disliked Jews as much as the Russian Prince, would inquire with the French nation if the Polish Jews would also find a place in the Caribbean....should they desire, of course.

Egypt

The Khedive would almost enjoy the sight of hundreds of Coptic Christians sailing away from the Nile, the first of many. Near constant oppression against all minorities would continue to the point that even Egyptian Christians whom never conceived of life elsewhere were spurred to depart. But where would they go?

The Czar, whom championed these people, would offer new homelands for the Egyptians along the Black Sea as well as ordering his Greek and Bulgarian "allies" to accept Egyptians in lightly populated regions of Greece and Thrace.

Similarly, the first Egyptian immigrants to Saint Domingue arrived in 1816, the first of many.

Honshu

Having finally crushed the Shogunate forces and returning true power to the Emperor's court, the Empire of Nippon was uncertain where to go from here. The southern islands remained under Chinese control and the Chinese Navy would be able to swiftly attack any coastal Nipponese city (and they were all pretty much coastal) without retaliation. Also, this control over the seas would allow the Chinese to pick their place of invasion at the time and place of their choosing.

Though the civil war of Nippon was over, the military situation versus the invaders was little to no better.

Southern New Spain

Over the course of 1815, the rebellion would spread to the south of New Spain. While the Imperial forces would win several battles, poorly armed peasant forces would cut supply lines and ambush any group of soldiers greater than 20 men.

By 1815, the Imperial forces still held Monterrey, the ruins of Mexico City and Oaxaca but the western regions became ever more restive. A newly formed army of 5000 Granadans, Peruvians and Chileans, armed and supplied by Spain, would sail to the Pacific coast west of Oaxaca and strike northwestwards, devastating huge swathes of Southern and Southwestern New Spain.

These soldiers were largely considered the lowest of the low. Base pillagers encouraged to destroy as much as they could. Officered by Spaniards, reconquest was not the intent but punishment. No major rebel armies existed in the area and the Spanish troops travelled from one southern town to another, razing it to the ground, leaving behind famine.

 

[Alt History Buff]

Fall 1815

Port-au-Prince, Saint Domingue

Throughout 1814 and 1815, the first shiploads of Jews from Russia and Poland arrived in Port-au-Prince and Cap-Francais. The intent for accepting these largely unwilling immigrants on the part of the French was the hope of a potential reinvigoration of the sugar industry. Over the past fifty years, since the commencement of the previous war had led to large-scale slave rebellions to the eventual ban on the slave trade and finally the abolition movement, the population of what was once the most valuable and profitable colony on Earth had drastically fallen from the 450,000 in 1756 down to less than 100,000 in 1785 due to war, unbalanced gender ratios and exports of slaves to other islands or Brazil had only been partially reversed by the arrival of a new workforce in the form of the Roma.

However, even this barely brought the population back to 250,000. French emigration to Saint Domingue (really, ANY settlers would have been welcomed) barely exceeded local French death rates or emigration back to the homeland. The manumission would see the harsh, back-breaking and dangerous sugar plantations founder as most of the freedmen would opt to make a living in the largely Mulatto-owned coffee plantations of the highland where labor conditions were far better. The introduction of the cane beetle would further cripple the once-lucrative sugar industry. Huge amounts of lowland land long dedicated to sugar production, once held in such prized esteem, would lay fallow and slowly return to its natural state over the decades.

The internal migration of the Freedmen and Roma would have an unexpected side effect unrecognized at the time as the Yellow Fever and Malaria epidemics would slowly diminish in scope over the past few decades. This was on account of several factors:

1. The disease-carrying mosquitos were less-prevalent in the highland coffee plantations (and the towns).
2. The towns had long learned to manage their sewage systems and the entire island had drained local swamps to avoid the worst of outbreaks.
3. The return of forestation on so much of the island had led to an unexpected benefit: mosquito-eating bird populations that had been lost when the initial clearcutting for sugar fields had taken places were quick to reestablish and this aided in the reduction of the mosquito population (this would not be well understood for nearly a century but was highly important to the reduction in the Yellow Fever and Malaria problem).
4. Improved medical care and general access to quinine had extended lives and reduced in duration and intensity the common epidemics.

Still, voluntary migration to Saint Domingue and the other French colonies in the West Indies was modest to say the least. Somehow even the Spanish managed higher rates of immigration to their own colonies of Cuba and Puerto Rico (though Santo Domingo remained modestly settled). Some of the Roma imported from the corners of Europe had migrated across the border into Santo Domingo providing a welcome increase in local labor.

But this did nothing for the French side of Hispaniola.

It was hoped that the Jews imported from Russia and Poland would reinvigorate the sugar industry. Unlike many of the Jews of Europe, North Africa and the Levant, the Polish and Russian Jews (once part of the Commonwealth) had been allowed to work the land like other locals. Most nations had restrictions on Jews owning land and to what occupations they could ply. As many of the incoming migrants had been farmers in the old country(ies), many French bureaucrats envisioned fields of sugar being tended by Jewish labor.

Instead, the initial migrants would set themselves up within a few years as middlemen, not only for the island's coffee and moribund sugar industry but as a regional wholesaler for a variety of goods. The frigid American and Spanish relations led the Jews to become important facilitators for the feuding groups, at least in the short term. In the meantime, jewelers, goldsmiths, silversmiths and other professions common to Jews would become a significant local industry.

Even the farmers of old Poland and Russia would prefer to work the docks as longshoreman or common laborers in the towns than on some wretched sugar plantation. Many of these old sugar plantations were swiftly being broken up into small subsistence farms and fruit plantations. Quinine, spices, cotton and even chocolate would be raised on the island, partially aided by these new residents. The swift success of the initial Jews to Hispaniola would swiftly encourage other Jews to migrate from Poland and Russia....at least partially of their own volition. Wholesale forced expulsions were not yet common...though certainly.....encouraged.

 

[Alt History Buff]

Winter, 1815

For centuries, the "Gypsies" or Romani (or Roma and a thousand other terms varying by country) had been reviled by locals, only tolerated for their occasional usefulness gathering harvests and providing skilled labor like metalworking. Derided as thieves in the west, the Romani had been treated as slaves in the east, particularly in the Balkans.

In the late 18th century, many European countries jumped at the French offer to ship the Romani free of charge to the New World in hopes they would serve as a viable labor source in post-slavery West Indies. This was partially successful. Many of the Romani would spend the 1780's and 1790's working alongside the remnant of the black population in Saint Domingue on the coffee plantations of the north and west in particular.

However, by 1815, enough of the Romani, the Freedmen, the poor French and other peoples residing in Saint Domingue had been able to acquire their own farmsteads. Most of these were modest-sized. Initially, the majority of farmers would raise subsistence crops to keep their families fed. Oddly, this allowed the French 1/3rd of Hispaniola to be more self-sufficient than it had ever been and less dependent on food imports from America. However, once the farms became more established, many would be converted to secondary crops like cotton, indigo and tobacco. These crops had fewer barriers to entry as they required less capital than sugar and coffee to grow profitably, though the profit potential was more limited. Cotton and tobacco were also notoriously soil-depleting, a problem even on fertile Hispaniola.

The Jewish settlers with farming backgrounds would also follow these patterns.

Eventually, a sort of economic segregation would occur. The remnant of the sugar plantations, with their expensive equipment and specialized labor, would be associated with French and Spanish landowners (many of the old "French" gentry of Saint Domingue were really of Spanish origins).

The Mulattos would dominate the coffee production in the mountains as they had for fifty years (when the half-breed children of white plantation owners and their black mistresses were freed, they took on the only land still available, in the mountains where sugar could not be grown but was ideal for coffee. Eventually, a third of Saint Domingue's land and half the slaves prior to manumission had belonged to other blacks or mulattos).

Freedmen (usually called such due to darker skin, differentiating themselves from the Mixed Race class) would be identified as cotton producers on the old sugar plantations.

Romani would dominate the tobacco production.

The Jews would disproportionately grow indigo.

When the Romani had been brought to Saint Domingue a generation prior, the idea had been for them to be travelling laborers. However, despite the stereotype, most Romani in Europe had not been nomadic, at least on a regular basis, particularly the Romani slaves of the Balkans. In Spain, any travel by Romani had often been forbidden as they were forced to remain in a few dozen Spanish villages. Once in Saint Domingue, most settled into permanent communities swiftly. As the mountainous terrain of Hispaniola was hardly well-suited for the carts and wagons commonly associated with Romani life, this also prevented a significant recurrence of the partially mythic nomadic life of Romani.

With the reduction in the once-common Malaria and Yellow Fever epidemics, the island would see a resurgence in exports bound for a Europe eager for their wares. While it would never again be known as the Pearl of the West Indies, a certain prosperity under a French benign neglect would settle in that would continue until the late 20th century when the economy transitioned towards domination by tourism and offshore banking.

Western New Spain

Throughout the past five years, the near constant revolt in Western New Spain had led to misery for the common peasants, usually Mestizos and Indians. The Spanish Imperial forces won most battle but often was forced to retreat by insurgent forces cutting their supply lines. The war spread north and south of the scarred remnant of Mexico City.

To regain control, the Imperial forces would ever more ruthlessly wipe entire villages off the map. Hundreds of thousands would die of hunger, exposure and disease in the aftermath of these raids.

Many of the colonials would flee north towards Sonora, California and anywhere far away from the fighting. Often in these remote locales, there was no effective government, either rebel or Imperial. In one notable instance, the City of San Diego was burned twice over the course of a month, once by Imperial forces from Peru and once by rebel forces from Valladolid. Both had been under the impression that San Diego supported the opposite side as the local governors did not report to THEM. In reality, there was no local government of note and the attacks served no purpose but to extend the misery.

Some colonials even travelled north into American territory. While nominally a Protestant nation, willing workers were seldom turned away on the frontier.

 

[Alt History Buff]

Winter/Spring 1816

Madrid

Infante Carlos would quietly insert himself into his father's court, one of the first in a very long time to begin influencing the King without the Queen's consent. Her Majesty was not amused and frequently ordered her son from Court...but Carlos was getting quite tired of his mother and the King seemed to enjoy having his son around. The Ministers, whom knew that the ailing King and Queen would not reign together, attempted to walk a delicate line between alienating the Queen and the man whom would be King sooner or later.

The insurrection in New Spain simply would not be quashed. Even ignoring the Indian rebellion in the Yucatan to free up resources to regain the lands west of Mexico City and reestablish regular control over the silver mines of Zacatecas. Though Spain had been at peace for an extended time period, the nation's budget remained dependent upon silver shipments from Zacatecas and Peru. Indeed, had it not been for the acquisition of Brazil in past years, Spain's colonial Empire may have cost more to administer than it brought in revenues (including tariffs, customs fees, direct taxation and the "King's Fifth" on the silver).

Though much of the silver received from the Americas would not go directly to the crown, the loss of so much liquidity for years on end to the Spanish economy (as was common in past wars) would result in a drastic blow to the nation's balance of trade ratio, thus threatening to push Spain into economic depression. Had it not been for the agricultural and assorted mining resources of Brazil, Spain would have been in even more dire straights.

Carlos' influence on policy would not be terribly different from his mother's, though conflict would arise between the two over Her Majesty's all-consuming grasping of power.

New Spain

Though the Imperial forces would manage to regain nominal control over the regions north and south of the former colonial capital. But local resistance was so fierce, even among unarmed tribesmen, that the Spanish forces were forced to spread out over huge swathes of territory, diluting their strength to the point that full campaigns against Valladolid and Guadalajara were impossible.

Instead, a series of raids staged against opposition holdings would occur with frightful regularity, devastating the countryside.

Northern Confederation

Though it took literally years of internal discussion, the Northern Confederation (former German Confederation) would agree upon the language of the document issuing a formal protest against the impending unification of the Kingdom of Italy and the Empire of Austria. Already surrounded by large Catholic powers on two sides (France and Poland), the Northern Confederation did not desire a resurgent Habsburg entity to the south as well. In truth, relations with France and Poland were actually quite smooth at the moment but the specter of Catholic powers surrounding the Protestants of northern Germany, the Dutch Republic and the Scandinavian nations was anathema.

Initially, the Austrians and Italians would simply ignore the Confederation. Given the decentralized nature of the Confederation, there was a large amount of doubt that the Protestants would gather themselves politically enough to actually forge an army to prevent the impending under the future Emperor Francis III of Austria and Italy.

Ironically, Austria's greatest long-time nemesis, France, seemed to care little about the matter despite that Italy's bordered up against France. This was no doubt partially due to the strong defenses acquired over the years by Louis XV and XVI. An invasion of France by the Habsburgs through the mountains of western Alps seemed destined to fail provided France possessed SOME semblance of organization. Poland, which had been dominated over the years by its neighbors, did not find Austria acquiring Italy to be vexing. Russia seemed the greater threat, perhaps followed by Brandenburg though the Polish economic ties to the Confederation would ensure that there would be resistance to aggression east by the other members. Besides, Brandenburg's King was something of an idiot (like many monarchs, the former Margrave promoted himself to King with the abolition of the Holy Roman Empire).

But the Protestants of north-central Europe were less than pleased with the direction to the south even if peace seemed likely for the foreseeable future in the east and west. Attempts to coerce Poland and France into alliance would be rebuffed. Only France's renewed alliance with Spain-Naples would give the Austria-Italy crowned heads pause.

Since King Victor remained on the Italian throne in good health, the Unification would seem to be far enough into the future that few to no members of the European political class seemed interested in starting a war today.

 

[Alt History Buff]

Summer 1816

Manhattan

First Lord Dewitt Clinton had seen his predecessor fall to political infighting throughout Parliament, not actual political differences. By 1816, Clinton was quite aware of the balancing act he must walk in order to maintain his Parliamentary majority. Political factions were emerging, usually along regional lines or even single issues.

There were free traders and protectionists. There were centralists versus decentralists. There were those in favor of fostering greater international relationships and those whom preferred isolation. There were expansionists and those whom were happy with the state of the Kingdom.

In some ways, the sheer size and diversity of the nation would hinder the formation of Political Parties as much as it had. There were no doubt political parties in Northumberland or the Dutch Republic...but how many regional variations could there be?

In America, the assorted Dominions under the Crown had so many political variations that it was difficult for any faction based around local aspirations to grow large enough to dominate Parliament. Instead, politics was dominated more by transitory alliances. Do the northern Dominions want fishing rights to take priority in the next treaty with Spain? Well....the western Dominion Parliamentarians would be happy to vote along these lines...provided that the Northerners reciprocated on investment along the Mississippi.

Do the Northwesterneers want a new canal from the Great Lakes to the Hudson...or a new canal from Lake Michigan to the Mississippi? SURE! The Southern Coastal Dominions had plenty of Parliamentarians willing to vote that way...if they were to get northern votes on subsidies for cotton, flax or bamboo production.

The soon-to-be former Slave Dominions could easily trade their votes in the past in exchange for protection of their own unique institution.

The moment such alliances no longer provided mutual benefit, they were simply abandoned in favor of others. Only in the most general of terms were large number of ideas associated with factions.

What DID persist were personal vendettas. John Calhoun and Andrew Jackson of Kanahwa would happily use their positions on key committees to block legislation intended to aid the "Slave Dominions" as they approved the mandatory Manumission date. "Stonewall" Jackson (as Andrew Jackson would soon be known) would withdraw funds allocated to paying the transport of European workers to these regions intended to provide a post-slavery workforce. Calhoun would use his committee chair to prevent any semblance of a Fugitive Slave Act and even would slow the implementation of the Fugitive Indenture Act (most of the new Indentures were shipped to the "Slave" Dominions).

Clinton was not looking forward to his next few years in power. Though he was still a relatively young forty-seven, even his short tenure at the peak of the nation's levers of power had exhausted him. Seeking an escape from Manhattan's odious political climate, Clinton would take his wife and travel to Philadelphia where some of her kin had settled. Unfortunately, this would be a tragic mistake as the resumption of so much shipping from the West Indies had resulted in a new outbreak of Yellow Fever (even the northern Dominions would occasionally be susceptible to the disease). The epidemic was traced to a ship (it was generally believed) from Havana. Within weeks, thousands of Philadelphians were dead and the city would be virtually abandoned until fall.

Among the dead was the unfortunate Mr. and Mrs. Clinton.

King Frederick, whom had tapped the man on the shoulder for leadership, was crestfallen. He regretted withholding his permission to name a western city or territory after the man. In belated respect, the King would "recommend" that the next First Lord find a satisfactory territorial capital and name it after the late First Lord. As there was already a city of "Clinton" named for the late George Clinton, it was decided that another town would be designated "Dewitt" in honor of the fallen man.

Perhaps one of the best results of the unfortunate incident which claimed so many lives was a Royal Commission to investigate the disease. Malaria had widely been accepted as being caused by the mosquito (though it would be decades before technology or medical science would properly attach the plague) but Yellow Fever was less understood. Eventually, large sums of money would allow the proper pathogen to be addressed. In the short term, better sewage conditions and draining swampland (also the primary ways to combat malaria) were recommended for all larger coastal towns.

If nothing else, the disease was better understood. Centuries of African slavery had led to the mistaken belief that Africans were immune from the disease. Any person residing in the West Indies knew this was true as they would have witnessed large numbers of Africans dying from the illness, though in lesser numbers. This was not because of genetic immunity but the fact that native Africans and black West Indians had endured many such epidemics and their bodies now possessed hard-won antibodies to protect them.

While investigating the Philadelphia epidemic, it was discovered that native-born black residents of Philadelphia died in virtually identical numbers as whites as they had never encountered the disease (much like their white neighbors). However, a neighborhood comprised of Frenchmen whom migrated from Saint Domingue proved largely immune to the epidemic as they had already been repeatedly subjected to Yellow Fever Epidemics in the West Indies.

It would take years, decades and even centuries to put much of this knowledge to good use but, by the late 19th century, medicine would several additional tools in their arsenals to combat such mosquito-born disease.

As it so happened, an election was due in September and the King didn't even appoint a new First Lord until after the Election of 1816. No particular conclusions could be drawn from the assortment of newly election Parliamentarians. They did not resemble any sort of landslide for any particular faction.

Thus, the King, as he always did, simply selected a man he thought could control Parliament. Young bucks like Henry Clay and Daniel Webster quietly presented their cases through intermediaries to the King for the office. The King shuddered at the thought of dealing with them on a daily basis. Clay was a backstabbing bully in some eyes while Webster was derided as an aristocratic snob that even some of the British titled nobility which had migrated to America after the fall of Britain would have difficulty matching.

Instead, the King opted for a Parliamentarian from Massachusetts with a first-class mind, a good reputation in Parliament, a secondary figure in the last Ministry and no particular vices. He chose Eli Whitney as the new First Lord.

 

[Alt History Buff]

Fall, 1816

Unnamed Bahama Island

For the past four years, "James Smith" (AKA Armstrong Hyman Thruston) had faced a barren existence upon a pitifully desolate Bahama Island barely a mile long. Just outside of the normal shipping lanes, Thruston would often see ships at a distance but the fires he produced from driftwood and the poor local timber had never drawn attention. Smith had subsisted upon a diet of turtle meat, fish, eggs from flat island's bird population, a few feral goats, seaweed, etc.

Smith had fashioned a rudimentary shelter to protect him from the sun and occasional hurricanes largely via large stones and a mast and sail which fortuitously washed ashore the day after his shipwreck. A rare fresh-water spring was the only reason he managed to live so long. Unfortunately, the spring water was tainted with something and Smith had spent four years under near-constant gastric distress.

Burnt to a crisp over the years after his clothing effectively rotted off his back, Smith would eventually form a sort of nightshirt from some length of sail. By happenstance, he'd had a needle and some thread in his possessions and was able to cut holes for his head and arms. The Virginian was humiliated by his image reflected from the azure waters. He looked like a pickaninny in the fields of home, basically wearing a sackcloth bag because their masters didn't bother to provide real clothing.

One morning, Smith would wake up to his normal intestinal unrest, throw his modest garments over his head and flee for his makeshift privy a hundred feet from his "Home".

It was here that Smith was found by the expedition of American naturalists: his sailcloth dress lifted above his waist, a steady stream of liquified offal emerging from behind. So shocked was he that Smith fell backwards directly into the pile of waste.

The scientists (led by one Charles Waterton, an English-born immigrant of Catholic faith) and their attendants did their best to help him out of the pit without touching him and returned the man to their ship...after a long soak in the sea. Within hours, Smith was attired in some generously donated garb (which promptly aggravated the rash on his ass) and was eating beef and pork for the first time in years....which he promptly threw up.

Still, Smith was going home. The ship was bound for New York, having stopped throughout the Bahama Islands on a mapping expedition and scientific research quest.

Unfortunately for Smith, the humorous discovery would be recounted in the memoirs of the expedition leader Charles Waterton whom would nickname the isle "Diarrhea Island" on the ship or "Isle of the Shits" in honor of its first resident. Prior to publication of his memoirs, Waterton intended to give it a better name but flatly forgot. Instead, the publishers would mistakenly think that "Schitts" was the name of an expedition member, perhaps of Dutch descent, and the lonely outpost was formally named "Schitt's Island".

 

[Alt History Buff]

Winter 1816

Manhattan

First Lord Eli Whitney had never expected to reach such a height. It seemed like only yesterday that he was dropping out of Yale for lack of funds and practicing law on the sly despite not having been called to the Bar. But Whitney's reputation as a barrister would catapult him to Parliament. Here, his legal skills were put to good use by the previous administration (he had worked closely with former Attorney General Aaron Burr) in junior capacities.

In truth, Whitney knew that he had been made by the King. His Majesty may have called upon any man in Parliament to lead the government and Whitney was perhaps the least offensive. JQ Adams was cold and distant. Philip Hamilton capable but lacked the keen intellect of his father. Henry Clay was almost offensively ambitious. Daniel Webster was perhaps the American version of Pitt the Elder: a great orator but poor, even indifferent, at administration with an arrogance that would have been unbecoming of a monarch, much less some New Englander.

Whitney was able to get along well enough with the Foreign Secretary, Adams, and the Secretary of Finance, Hamilton. Against his better judgement, Whitney allowed Webster the post of Attorney General. The Marylander Jackie Custis was brought into government in a junior role, the man popular more due to sympathy for his stepfather than his own abilities. Other new faces in government replacing the retiring old guard were Robert Peel (son of the Mercia-born industrialist), the former naval officer Stephen Decatur and the former General Zebulon Pike.

Whitney was ideally qualified to control this fractious group. With a generally contained ego, he would manage to maintain good relations even with the most difficult of his colleagues (i.e. Webster). This would allow him to maintain his position in Parliament in the face of opposition from Henry Clay and Martin Van Buren, among others. John Randolph led the dying pro-slavery movement, something abandoned by all but the most recalcitrant plantation owners.

Randolph's high-profile command of the "slave-power" faction would have dramatic consequences. Andrew Jackson and John Calhoun (whose father had been beaten by pro-slavers on the floor of Parliament) would continue to taunt the Virginians from their seats on the Appropriations committee. Jackson would block so many pro-Virginian (and Carolinian) initiatives that he had long earned the nickname "Stonewall" Jackson.

Eventually, frustration would reach such a level that base name calling became common. Finally, Jackson and Randolph would meet in a duel in New Jersey, across the very shore from Manhattan, the seat of government. Both Jackson and Randolph were wounded, Jackson in the lung and Randolph in the groin. Unexpectedly both would recover. But the King was so outraged at his own Parliamentarians dueling across the River from Parliament that both were compelled to resign.

Jackson's elder brother was appointed to his seat by the voters of his Kanawha district while Randolph's friend James Lauderdale, a former soldier, would be voted in for the vacant Virginia Seat.

With two such powerful voices removed from Parliament, John Calhoun and Henry Clay became the most vocal unaffiliated members of Congress.

Men like James Monroe, James Madison, Aaron Burr, Alexander Hamilton and others had retired over the past decade, allowing the younger Parliamentarians to assume greater voice.

Europe

Much as the American Parliamentarians were relinquishing to a new generation, the aging crowned heads of Europe were ceding authority to their heirs. Czar Paul was granting ever more power to his son Alexander. Carlos IV was listening ever more to his son rather than his wife. Louis XVI was as often delegating control over his council to his son, the Dauphin.

Russian Ruthenia

By 1816, Prince Alexander would not even pretend to care about the well-being of the Jews now residing in the Russian Empire. Huge swathes were pushed off their land, as thousands upon thousands would be put on ships bound for Saint Domingue. Some crossed into Poland only to find local anti-Semitism growing there as well. In response, France, seeing a chance to fill the near vacant West Indian islands, would accept all that would get on the ships (though the King order that no Jew be marched onto a French ship in chains like a slave).

Egypt

The exodus of Copts from Egypt continued apace under the guidance of Russian fleet blockading the Nile. In exchange for allowing the Copts free exile from Egypt, the Russians would not completely halt Egyptian trade. Given that Egyptian cotton was growing in export value, this was unthinkable to the Khedive. Instead of forcing conversions or just massacring the religious minorities, they were forced off of land their ancestors had farmed for thousands of years.

Egypt was forced to pay some of the transit but the Czar would assist on those travelling to Greece, Romanian and Bulgaria (both Russian client states whom most emphatically did NOT desire Egyptians showing up in their ports). But they could do little about this.

Other Copts would accept transport by the French and Spanish to the new World. France was always in need of settlers for their unhealthy West Indian possessions. Seeing Saint Domingue swiftly outpacing Santo Domingo in population, the King of Spain authorized the acceptance of Coptic Christians to settle Santo Domingo and other Spanish possessions in the Caribbean without a requirement to convert to Catholicism (but were barred from office).

In 1800, there were an estimated 400-600,000 Copts in Egypt. By 1816, nearly a quarter had been relocated to the Balkans or to the new world and that number would only expedite.