"What Madness Is This?" Volume II: Prophecies in the Dark

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Sunstone77

Anarcho-Occultist said:
Personal headcanon that the 'Infee stick' was at first an excuse for a Father Abe reenactor having a cane.
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I'm now picturing a history channel like documentary about how all the traditions of american holidays came to be, but with the twist of Madness

"Among the most common images we associate with Father Abe after his beloved Infee Stick is that of his legendary Stovepipe Hat. A staple of the Father Abe costume and said to grant all who wear it the ability to channel Father Abe's own intelligence and strength or serve as a cornucopia of treats, the classic image of the Stovepipe hat is yet another tradition attributed to the Great Strong Man long after his death. With his impressive stature, Father Abe dislike such towering hats at they constantly caught on branches, lampposts and low ceilings. Instead he preferred to keep his head open to the air, letting the breeze cool and stimulate his powerful mind. The image of Father Abe in a towering Stovepipe comes from the earliest days of the Mall Abe, to an 1890 Michigania reenactor whom used the immense volume of the hat to hide candy and gifts to share with children during the holidays. Originally just a Michigania tradition, it quickly caught on among other Abes and soon the Stovepipe could be found all across the country. And to this day, Patriot-Saints Day just doesn't feel right without one sitting atop your head."

"Up next, just how did Sweet Victory Pop Pie become the staple desert for the 4th of July?"
 
Napoleon53

Napoleon53

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The most powerful Infee Stick of all.

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Proudly individualist

Murica1776 said:
Andy Jackson Society. Nuff said.

Speaking of, I have compiled a list of potential new cursed wedges and Confederations as idea fodder for the coming post-war world.

CoCape: Something happens to the Dutch and they lose their grip. The Cokies establish a puppet government in South Africa run by the Boers because annexing the place is too expensive.

Ulster Carolina: BU collapses because of everything they've been put through. The Cokies salvage Ulster from the wreckage and make it theirs.

Ultima Carolina: For the sacrifice of thousands of troops and millions of dollars the Cokies get... *checks notes* a frozen piece of land near Antarctica.

CoKarelia: North Germania experiences a rebellion against their foreign monarchy and the rebel leaders view Cokie style Protestant Republicanism as preferable to Illuminism and Fascism.

Carolina-By-The-Sea: French India breaks apart after centuries of imperialism and the Cokies come in via Yonderland. The white elites accept this and convert to Presbyterianism (well the ones who can pass as Anglo-Saxons) to preserve their power.

Carolina-Upon-The-Straits: Again, Dutch collapse opens opportunity. The Cokies use their bases in Corea to take the Malay Peninsula. Or, perhaps the Coreans take it, which is equally cursed.
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The fact the cokies expand by taking the leftovers of wars, rebellions and treaties around random locations and turn them into cokie egopolis/social experiments/puppets/subhuman reservations while revelling on insecurity driven jingoism is... well, is hilarious. I don't know what else to say.

At least, this strategy has some advantages: if the Free World alliance falls, CoCaro can create her own bloc with the "brother confederations" network she has created. Having such homogeneous nations around different world places completely loyal to you must be geopolitically beneficial.
 
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Born in the USSA

Born in the USSA

Proudly individualist said:
The fact the cokies expand by taking the stripes left by wars, rebellions and treaties around random locations and turn them into cokie egopolis/social experiments/puppets/subhuman reservations while revelling on insecurity driven jingoism is... well, is hilarious. I don't know what else to say.

At least, this strategy has some advantages: if the Free World alliance falls, CoCaro can create her own bloc with the "brother confederations" network she has created. Having such homogeneous nations around different world places completely loyal to you must be geopolitically beneficial.
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They've done fairly well for themselves all things considered. I'm convinced Norway is biding it's time to absorb all of Scandinavia but as the story stands now CoCaro is the only nation in the Free World following America's example and living up to its Pinnacle potential expanding internationally
 
Napoleon53

Napoleon53

Born in the USSA said:
Hell maybe the fancy ones whistle as you swing them around? The haunting sound of a baseball bat with a tiny hat...
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That is a Pinnacle thought right there.


I'm imagining the origins being right around the turn of the century like Sunstone said, when the first big shopping centers pop up. Then in the 30s when Kingfish Supermarkets become a thing the Lincoln Society realizes they can make a lot of money appearing across the nation, using new comfortable autocarriages. Lincoln roadies are born.

WUSN Metropolis interview with a Lincoln Society member, July 3rd, 1978:

WUSN: "What made you take the plunge and become a fulltime Father Abe?"

Jules Harris: "Oh, why I'd say it's the joy on children's faces as they reach into my stovepipe and fish out a Pep-O-Step or a Joe Bar. When they sit on my lap in the food court and tell me what they want later that year for PSD. Parents taking snapshots of me with their kids. It's just good clean fun."

WUSN: "Mr. Harris, the Lincoln Society has come under fire in recent weeks in the leadup to the Independence Day holiday season after Mr. Marcus Wayne, a New York City professional Lincoln, lost his temper with a group of small children and swung at them with his Infee Stick. For those unfamiliar with the story, here's the clip."

*grainy super8 footage of a mall Lincoln getting kicked in the shin by a group of children*

Kids: "You ain't the real Father Abe back from the grave! Your beard is fake!"

Wayne: "You little fucking brat! I oughta!" *twirls Infee Stick above head, making a whistling sound through the tiny brass Lincoln's gaping mouth* *footage cuts*

WUSN: "Many parents are outraged that their precious little cherubs have been subjected to such gross assault and have called for a nationwide ban on Infee Stick carrying in malls and shopping centers. What do you think of this, Mr. Harris?"

Harris: "Absolutely disgusting behavior by Mr. Wayne, but this event has nothing to do with the 80 year-old Infee Stick tradition. I think this is more a reflection on the part of the children, and how this generation hasn't lived through hardship or been taught right by their parents. This never would have happened in the Steele years!"

WUSN: "Thank you for your time, Mr. Harris. All hail. Next on the agenda: Our own Hank Helms goes on a flame thrower safari in the Republic of Jacksonland. More at 7."
 
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Born in the USSA

Born in the USSA

Napoleon53 said:
That is a Pinnacle thought right there.


I'm imagining the origins being right around the turn of the century like Sunstone said, when the first big shopping centers pop up. Then in the 30s when Kingfish Supermarkets become a thing the Lincoln Society realizes they can make a lot of money appearing across the nation, using new comfortable autocarriages. Lincoln roadies are born.

WUSN Metropolis interview with a Lincoln Society member, July 3rd, 1978:

WUSN: "What made you take the plunge and become a fulltime Father Abe?"

Jules Harris: "Oh, why I'd say it's the joy on children's faces as they reach into my stovepipe and fish out a Pep-O-Step or a Joe Bar. When they sit on my lap in the food court and tell me what they want later that year for PSD. Parents taking snapshots of me with their kids. It's just good clean fun."

WUSN: "Mr. Harris, the Lincoln Society has come under fire in recent weeks in the leadup to the Independence Day holiday season after Mr. Marcus Wayne, a New York City professional Lincoln, lost his temper with a group of small children and swung at them with his Infee Stick. For those unfamiliar with the story, here's the clip."

*grainy super8 footage of a mall Lincoln getting kicked in the shin by a group of children*

Kids: "You ain't the real Father Abe back from the grave! Your beard is fake!"

Wayne: "You little fucking brat! I oughta!" *twirls Infee Stick above head, making a whistling sound through the tiny brass Lincoln's gaping mouth* *footage cuts*

WUSN: "Many parents are outraged that their precious little cherubs have been subjected to such gross assault and have called for a nationwide ban on Infee Stick carrying in malls and shopping centers. What do you think of this, Mr. Harris?"

Harris: "Absolutely disgusting behavior by Mr. Wayne, but this event has nothing to do with the 80 year-old Infee Stick tradition. I think this is more a reflection on the part of the children, and how this generation hasn't lived through hardship or been taught right by their parents. This never would have happened in the Steele years!"

WUSN: "Thank you for your time, Mr. Harris. All hail. Next on the agenda: Our own Hank Helms goes on a flame thrower safari in the Republic of Jacksonland. More at 7."
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And he has a tiny blue pin on his lapel. It would be amusing if OTL flag pins are considered unnecessary (because everyone is obviously a patriot) so the pins could fill that niche TTL
 

Sunstone77

Napoleon53 said:
That is a Pinnacle thought right there.


I'm imagining the origins being right around the turn of the century like Sunstone said, when the first big shopping centers pop up. Then in the 30s when Kingfish Supermarkets become a thing the Lincoln Society realizes they can make a lot of money appearing across the nation, using new comfortable autocarriages. Lincoln roadies are born.
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I think you said before that Father Abe rode in buffulo-pulled carriage, but now I just picturing him in a gaudy red and gold Ford Model T.
 
pattontank12

pattontank12

Napoleon53 said:
That is a Pinnacle thought right there.


I'm imagining the origins being right around the turn of the century like Sunstone said, when the first big shopping centers pop up. Then in the 30s when Kingfish Supermarkets become a thing the Lincoln Society realizes they can make a lot of money appearing across the nation, using new comfortable autocarriages. Lincoln roadies are born.

WUSN Metropolis interview with a Lincoln Society member, July 3rd, 1978:

WUSN: "What made you take the plunge and become a fulltime Father Abe?"

Jules Harris: "Oh, why I'd say it's the joy on children's faces as they reach into my stovepipe and fish out a Pep-O-Step or a Joe Bar. When they sit on my lap in the food court and tell me what they want later that year for PSD. Parents taking snapshots of me with their kids. It's just good clean fun."

WUSN: "Mr. Harris, the Lincoln Society has come under fire in recent weeks in the leadup to the Independence Day holiday season after Mr. Marcus Wayne, a New York City professional Lincoln, lost his temper with a group of small children and swung at them with his Infee Stick. For those unfamiliar with the story, here's the clip."

*grainy super8 footage of a mall Lincoln getting kicked in the shin by a group of children*

Kids: "You ain't the real Father Abe back from the grave! Your beard is fake!"

Wayne: "You little fucking brat! I oughta!" *twirls Infee Stick above head, making a whistling sound through the tiny brass Lincoln's gaping mouth* *footage cuts*

WUSN: "Many parents are outraged that their precious little cherubs have been subjected to such gross assault and have called for a nationwide ban on Infee Stick carrying in malls and shopping centers. What do you think of this, Mr. Harris?"

Harris: "Absolutely disgusting behavior by Mr. Wayne, but this event has nothing to do with the 80 year-old Infee Stick tradition. I think this is more a reflection on the part of the children, and how this generation hasn't lived through hardship or been taught right by their parents. This never would have happened in the Steele years!"

WUSN: "Thank you for your time, Mr. Harris. All hail. Next on the agenda: Our own Hank Helms goes on a flame thrower safari in the Republic of Jacksonland. More at 7."
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Truly there's no more pinnacle sport than hunting combat drugged tigers with a mighty jehovah ordained flamethrower!
 
pattontank12

pattontank12

Born in the USSA said:
The Union would be able to keep Columbia onside, and would therefore be both completely unstoppable and even more drugged up than "normal". Amusingly it would be just another of the RU's military science cities.
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Honestly I kinda want to see Columbia duking it out with the Republican Union, to who is the truest America. Maybe the split happened do to Columbia keeping blacks as slaves and starting to denounce Abe.
 
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