Alternate Wikipedia Infoboxes II

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Could you add election maps next time? :D

I thought about trying to include one with the first infobox, but decided it would be too difficult. There are at least 5 constituencies in the mouth alone!

And now for the much anticipated third installment!

After successfully resolving the Thesis Crisis and placating the Dental Hygienists with a dentist appointment, Prime Minister Brain was riding high. However, all of that would come crashing down in an incident that would become known as Boobs-gate. It all began when Maria took the needlessly provocative action of washing her father's car in the driveway. Prime Minister Brain wished to move on to more pressing business, but the Lust Party managed to keep up a successful filibuster which ensured that the Maria issue retained the Assembly's utmost attention. After several frustrating minutes of trying to get the Assembly back on track, the frustrated Brain exclaimed that "For God's sake, there are more important things in the world than boobs!" This sentiment generated immense controversy and was roundly condemned in the media by many Assemblymen, including several from Brain's own Rational Thought Party. Ultimately, Foreign Minister Right Index Finger was forced to make the rounds on the Sunday morning talk shows to explain the Prime Minister's position regarding boobs.

Interviewer: Welcome to the show, Mr. Finger. So we'll start with the question that is one everyone's minds: Is Prime Minister Brain anti-boobs?
Foreign Minister Right Index Finger: Well, thank you for having me on, Bob. The answer to that question is an emphatic no. The Prime Minister is not now, nor has he ever been anti-boobs. And you don't have to take my word for that either, just look at the record. We have viewed a larger quantity of breast-focused pornography under the current administration than under any previous administration. Certinaly more than under the Emotionalists, with their periodic bouts of excessive religiosity.
I: Well, I'm sure our viewers will find that comforting to hear. But how do you explain Mr. Brain's recent controversial comments?
FMRIF: Well . . . look Bob, obviously the Prime Minister misspoke. What he meant to say was that there are more important things in the world than Maria's boobs. The Prime Minister is definitely pro-boobs. For example, you may notice that Veronica has quite a nice set herself and -
I: (interrupting) But you must admit that they are smaller.
FMRIF: (chuckling) Well, as Mr. Penis is no doubt aware, size isn't everything. And even if we were to admit the inferiority of Veronica's boobs, it would still be this government's contention that she has other assets which more than make up for any hypothetical boob gap. Surely we all remember last week, when she brought homemade scones to the office and offered one to us?
I: Yes. Yes, I think we all enjoyed that.

Right Index Finger's appearances on the Sunday shows got the government through the immediate crisis, but doubts remained in the minds of some voters regarding the Prime Minister's stance on the Boobs issue and Penis continued to exploit these doubts over the course of the next few weeks.

But what ultimately brought on the fall of the government was not Boobs-gate, but dental issues. His firm commitment to winning the support of the Dental Hygiene Party made some in the Rational Thought Party uneasy. These tensions came to a head when, after an unfortunately violent run-in with militant Dental Hygienists, both Lower Lip and Tongue announced that they would be leaving the Rational Thought Party to serve as independents. Other parties immediately began attempting to woo the two new independents, with the Hunger Party touting their shared values on taste issues and the Lust Party championing their pro-kissing agenda. In the end, Tongue joined the Hunger Party and Lower Lip joined with Lust. However, Prime Minister Brain still maintained his slim majority with the support of Dental Hygiene.

But this new arrangement would not last long. The Dental Hygiene movement had always been notoriously unstable. At a party conference to ratify minor adjustments to the platform in the wake of the coalition, radicals instead insisted on wholesale changes. Their demands included a Slurpee-limitation plank and an outright ban on popcorn. However, moderates blanched at what were sure to be unpopular provisions and refused to budge. The radicals then staged a walkout and started their own party, the Oral Health Party. Over the next few days it became clear that the Oral Health Party was outpolling Dental Hygiene in the Mouth region, with many voters seeing the Hygienists as sellouts. In order to combat this narrative, the Hygienists pulled out of the coalition and tried to rebrand themselves as outsiders again. This pullout caused the collapse of the government and a new election.

The election caught many off-guard and no party was completely prepared for it. The Rational Thought Party campaigned on a platform of working more hours over the summer. This would bring in more revenue and would have the added bonus of allowing David to spend more time with Veronica. The Lust Party went for their usual line of attack, criticizing Prime Minister Brain for being too slow to act on foreign policy issues and subtly implying that he was anti-boobs. The Emotional Party was probably the least ready for the election. They had not expected a new election until after vacation, when they hoped that their fortunes would be improved by the nostalgia of seeing old friends again and the sadness of having to return home. Instead, they were at a loss for what to campaign on. They ultimately settled on "Mom: We Should Be Nicer to Her" which had universal appeal, but was not the sort of controversial wedge issue that drives voters to the polls. The Hunger Party was in the awkward position of not feeling comfortable supporting either of the two main parties. On the one hand, they were ardently pro-Veronica after the Scone Incident. On the other hand, they could not really lend their full support to the Rational Thought Party due to their association with the Hygienists. The two Dental parties followed their expected courses, with the Oral Health Party taking a radical anti-sugar line, while the Dental Hygiene Party favored a more moderate tone, supporting increased flossing and tooth brushing, but no major dietary changes.

In the end, very few seats actually changed hands. The Rational Thought Party lost 3 seats (in addition to the 2 that they had lost previously due to party switching), with Lust and Emotion picking up 1 each. Hunger stood pat, holding its 4 previous seats as well as new party member Tongue. The bigger news was Oral Health displacing Dental Hygiene as the main dental issues party. Hygiene's leader, Lower Right First Molar, lost his seat, leaving Upper Right Lateral Incisor as the party's only Assemblyman and de facto leader.

The most difficult part was the coalition negotiations. With Stomach refusing to negotiate with anyone and Oral Health being too radical, the only possible coalitions were Rational Thought-Lust or Rational Thought-Emotions. Neither was a particularly attractive option. Rational Thought and Emotion had long been bitter rivals, so any coalition would be a tense one. Similarly, Penis had made no secret of his contempt for Brain and pulled out of the negotiations rather quickly. After a long grueling negotiating session, Brain and Heart reached a tentative coalition agreement which would give Heart a free hand in setting the itinerary of the upcoming vacation and Brain continuing control over work issues. They agreed to jointly manage the ongoing romantic pursuit of Veronica, although the cooperation is sure to be uneasy. This coalition is widely seen as untenable and not expected to last very long.

EDIT: Made a mistake. Give me a second to fix it.
EDIT2: Okay, fixed. I forgot to change the "Prime Minister before election" thing.

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I'm quite surprised that Index Finger was the Foreign Minister instead of Vocal Chords, but the Index Finger would certainly make a good foreign minister.
 
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This started out as worldbuilding for SoaP, but got a wee bit butterfly-murdery, so consider it a standalone piece.

RUSSIA: The Bear Awakens

ST. PETERSBURG – October 21, 2011

“Vladivostok – Rossiya!” (Vladivostok is Russia!) is the cry of the masses gathered outside the Kazan Cathedral in the Russian capital on this bright Saturday morning in October. The usage of the old Russian name for Haishenwai is consistent, and marks their unwillingness to accept the sixty-year Chinese rule of the city and its surrounding lands. Although the Amur region was returned to Russia following the reunification with the Far Eastern Republic in 2001, the Chinese maintained their control over the vital – and largely ethnically Chinese – Pacific port. This arrangement has not since been disputed by the Imperial government, although it has met with plenty of criticism from nationalist groups, several of whom are campaigning for the resignation of President Lebed, calling him a “fair-weather patriot” and accusing him of failing to stand up for Russia’s interests during his fifteen-year leadership.

But most of the organizers of the demonstration will still support Mr Lebed’s party in the upcoming general election. “Indeed,” says self-described ‘liberal patriot’ Alexei Navalny, editor of the ‘Russkaya Dusha’ (Russian Soul) newspaper, “we will continue to lend our voice to the National Union in spite of its present leadership. We believe that a united national voice is stronger than many small ones, and that the party can be turned toward our interests as soon as Alexander Ivanovich [Lebed] resigns, which is bound to be soon.” But not everyone agrees with this sentiment. Also participating in the rally is Eduard Savenko, the leader of the populist People’s Freedom Party (PNS), who is of a decidedly different opinion. “If Lebed is to go, his party must go,” he tells me when I come up to him after the rally and ask for an interview. “There’s no other way. Navalny and the other National Union cronies will tell you that the national interest is best served by a unified party, but they have good reason to say that – and that reason is measured in rubles. The Russian people’s interests must be put first by the Russian government, and the way to do that is not to give billions of rubles to Akmolinsk and Baku while people are starving in the streets of Moscow and Odessa.”

But despite their differences, Navalny and Savenko seem happy to get on stage together during the rally, and when they do appear they’re met with thundering applause from the crowd. It’s not hard to picture these icons of the Russian political scene as rock stars, nor that Saturday morning as a rock concert, but these rallies are in fact a common occurrence on the streets of Saint Petersburg. The Russian nationalist scene has seen a huge upsurge over the last decade. Until recently, Mr Lebed’s party has been successful in co-opting national sentiment to stay in power, but the recent further radicalization of the scene has seen his star fall considerably.

This was not, however, the most remarkable political event of that day. Meanwhile across the Fontanka, large crowds were gathering outside the Moskovsky Railway Terminal to take part in a quite different political rally. Led by the young journalists Ilya Yashin and Vladimir Kara-Murza, the newly-founded ‘New Movement’ aims to “restore sanity to the political process, and ensure a modern, peaceful Russia with equal rights for all its citizens”. By this time it has existed for about six weeks, and has already managed to recruit over twenty thousand activists and put up full candidate slates in forty of Russia’s eighty-three multi-member electoral districts. Its main voter base is in the big cities, whose cosmopolitan populations see scant need for the economic exclusion laws keeping ethnic minorities confined to their autonomous regions. These groups also tend to be more connected with European cultures than the rural population, and view the increasing trends toward social liberalism in countries like Germany and Great Britain with approval.

After a brief address by Yashin, the crowd marched up Suvorovsky Prospekt toward Taurida Palace, the seat of the Duma. Upon arriving there, a lengthier rally ensued, featuring speeches by Yashin, Kara-Murza and several guest speakers, as well as musical entertainment in between the speeches. The theme of the rally, as expressed in the banner hanging over the stage in the Taurida Gardens, was “An Open Russia”, and the speeches made followed the theme of openness and integration. Even the musical performances matched the theme – the headline act being the celebrated schnellfunk group Mashina, who closed the rally with their 2008 hit “Listen to the People” to thundering applause.

“Russia can no longer pretend that it’s not part of the world,” said Yashin in his speech. “Instead we must embrace our connections with Europe in the west and China in the east, and celebrate the breadth of culture found within the borders of our own country. Let the 21st century be one of openness and tolerance, and not one of fear and loathing.”

It has been said of Russia that it is like a sleeping bear, unwilling to change suddenly or to accept influences from the outside. But as this Saturday draws to a close, it seems like this is about to change. Two large popular movements are rising in opposition to the political establishment, and it remains to be seen which one gets to lead the nation into the new century.

SoaP-russia-elbox.png

SoaP-russia-elbox.png
 
Very interesting look at Russia, Ares. It looks like the regionalists have a pretty strong presence there. Is there any sort of consensus with them or do they just not care about the other regionalist blocs?
 
Very interesting look at Russia, Ares. It looks like the regionalists have a pretty strong presence there. Is there any sort of consensus with them or do they just not care about the other regionalist blocs?

A few of them (notably the Jewish Labour Bund and the Turkestan Confederation of Workers) are broadly centre-leftist and form the "Bloc of Progress" alongside the SRs, but the rest tend to ignore ideology and support whomever gives their regions the biggest barrel of pork.
 
A few of them (notably the Jewish Labour Bund and the Turkestan Confederation of Workers) are broadly centre-leftist and form the "Bloc of Progress" alongside the SRs, but the rest tend to ignore ideology and support whomever gives their regions the biggest barrel of pork.

I like how I can pick out pretty much the exact borders of Ukraine in there.
 
I'm quite surprised that Index Finger was the Foreign Minister instead of Vocal Chords, but the Index Finger would certainly make a good foreign minister.

Vocal Chords is a strong Emotionalist. He was the Foreign Minister under Prime Minister Heart, but was replaced when the Rational Thought Party retook control. He is now Deputy Foreign Minister for Familial Relations under the new coalition.

It's a very direct foreign policy, I imagine.:D

Indeed. The Rational Thought Party is not big on empathy or other peoples' feelings.

Shouldn't the muscles have their own party, all about being fit and in a mortal struggle with the hunger party? Or are you not that athletic? (me neither).

That's . . . that's actually a pretty good point. I was trying to think of another faction for the next infobox (which won't be coming for another couple weeks), but I had a bit of a mental block. Yeah, I may steal that idea.

Oh and to clarify, this infobox series is about a completely fictional character that is absolutely not based on me in any way. ;)

One thing, instead of Federal Election, shouldn't it be Biological Election?

I like the idea of a human body as a federation, but you're probably right that the "Biology" aspect should be emphasized in the name somewhere. Maybe Biological Federal Election or Federal Biological Election?
 
How do you take screenshots of Wikiboxes that are longer than your screen's height?

Pressing F11 gets you full-screen mode, which helps if it's only slightly too high, but for anything more than that there's no choice but to take a number of screenshots and paste them together.
 
Pressing F11 gets you full-screen mode, which helps if it's only slightly too high, but for anything more than that there's no choice but to take a number of screenshots and paste them together.
Where is the best place for me to paste them together? I got the screenshots using the snipping tool and then saved them as a png.
 
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