April 6, 1986
SteamPunk, the WWF Blogger – Post Date 3/18/2013
Classic WWF PPV Review: Wrestlemania 2
In honor of the 29th anniversary of
Wrestlemania, I’m continuing with my look at all the ‘
Manias from years gone past. I did the very first ‘
Mania yesterday, and today, I’ll be looking at the second annual pay-per-view extravaganza held by the WWF. From April 6, 1986, it’s
Wrestlemania 2. [1]
The second
Wrestlemania was unique in that it emanated from not one, but
three cities: New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles, with each city getting approximately one hour of live coverage. For fans in the arenas, they got to see an hour of the show live, and then they watched the rest of it on giant screens, to create a “movie-like” atmosphere. It was a unique idea, but sadly, it didn’t work out too well, and wasn’t repeated. Thankfully, we got a lot of awesome action to counteract it, and even today, it’s considered by many fans to be one of the best ‘
Manias of all time. That being said, let’s get started with the action.
We start off in Long Island, New York at the Nassau Coliseum. The late, great Ray Charles gives a great rendition of “The Star-Spangled Banner” to kick us off. It won’t be the last musical performance we hear tonight.
Your commentators in Long Island are Vince McMahon and celebrity commentator Carl Weathers, best known for playing Apollo Creed in the
Rocky movies. [2] Celebrities calling matches is usually a horrible idea, but thankfully, Apollo doesn’t mess it up too much—at least he’s better than the other two celebrity commentators. But I’m jumping the gun here.
Backstage Segment – Joan Rivers, of all people, is backstage, and she hypes
Wrestlemania like it’s some kind of red-carpet movie premiere. [3] She’s apparently trying to find Hulk Hogan. Looks like no one sent her the memo that Hogan’s in L.A. Joan looks like she’s about to have a heart attack as she looks backstage at all the “sweaty, oily men”. Maybe we’ll see Joan and Freddie Blassie making out later? God, I shouldn’t have typed that. I’m going to have nightmares tonight. Anyhow, Joan finds perennial jobber S.D. Jones, and he reminds us about how he got squashed in 18 seconds at
WM1 by King Kong Bundy. He says tonight, we won’t see that again. The Iron Sheik pops up out of nowhere and says some crap I can’t really understand. Jones challenges Sheik to a match, which he accepts. God, this was a painful segment to watch. When S.D. Jones is the most coherent person in a promo, you know it’s bad.
DUD
Iron Sheik vs. S.D. Jones – It’s blaringly apparent that they cut out the intro for this match. We just saw Jones and Sheik backstage, and whammo! They’re in the ring now. Somebody from
Star Trek must be working the Gorilla position. Jones throws a couple of punches at the Sheik, then bounces off the ropes, but Sheik takes him down with a
really hard clothesline. Sheik poses to the crowd for a few seconds before locking the prone Jones in a Camel Clutch, and Jones gives up at
0:39. Seriously, I know they were trying to remind people of the first ‘
Mania, but couldn’t they have picked a better moment from it to try to top? That sight of Jones squirming in the Camel Clutch was also quite painful to watch. Jones wouldn’t last too long in the WWF after this, and I guess it’s only fitting he finished out
WM 0-2.
DUD
WWF Women’s Title Match: Wendi Richter (C) vs. Misty Blue Simms – As WWF legend goes, after the Fabulous Moolah quit, McMahon looked for ladies’ wrestlers who were being “misused” in rival companies. He found Misty Blue in the soon-to-be-dead AWA, and she agreed to come to the WWF. [4] Unfortunately, Cyndi Lauper isn’t here to be in Richter’s corner, which sucks. Both ladies start out backing each other against the ring ropes, trading chops. “Nothing like two ticked-off women goin’ at it,” Weathers comments. I couldn’t agree more, Apollo. Richter grabs Misty by the hair and throws her to the mat. She rushes at her, but Misty takes her down with an armdrag. Wendi recovers and locks a leg submission on Simms, getting Misty’s shoulders down for a 1-count. When she tries it again, Misty kicks her off. Both ladies lock up, then Richter irish-whips Simms and hits her with a back elbow. Richter hits an elbow drop for a 2-count. Richter picks up Simms and bodyslams her for another 2-count. Richter plays to the crowd a little before going back to the prone Simms, who surprises Wendi with a poke to the eye. Simms gets up and takes Richter down with a double-leg, then locks on a Boston crab. Richter makes it to the ropes after a few minutes, forcing a break. Simms goes to pick up Richter, but Wendi hits an inside cradle. Simms reverses it, however, and gets the surprise pin to win the Title at
3:04. Well, as far as women’s matches go, this was pretty good, and it helped draw heel heat for Misty, who had only just started in the WWF a few weeks prior to this.
**
WWF Tag Team Title Match: Tito Santana & Brutus Beefcake (C) vs. Hart Foundation – This is both Hart's and Neidhart's
Wrestlemania debut. I was such a mark for the Harts as a kid—all four of them were very solid in-ring workers. Sadly, Jimmy Hart isn’t in the Harts’ corner; Vince says he’s in L.A. with Dynamite and Davey Boy. Bret & Santana, the better of the two wrestlers in this match, start us off in the ring, and they trade offense for a good five minutes. Hart tags in Neidhart, and the Harts start making quick tags and dominating Tito. The crowd was really hot for this match because the Harts were so hated at the time. After battling back for a few seconds and hitting a headbutt to the stomach, Tito tags in Beefcake; Anvil fights him off and hits a hard clothesline. Bret tags in and starts working over Beefcake with a Boston crab for a few minutes. McMahon comments that you “can’t breathe” while in a Boston crab. I’m not sure that’s how it works, Vince. Bret hits a fisherman’s suplex (later called a Perfectplex) for two. Beefcake fights back and gets the tag on Santana, who hits Bret with an elbow to the back of the head. Tito hits a suplex for a two. Tito dominates for a few more minutes, eventually tagging in Beefcake, who locks a bearhug on Bret. First time I’ve ever seen Beefcake use a submission hold. It was probably the last time as well. The Hitman struggles for a few minutes before fighting out and hitting a bulldog on Beefcake for a two. He makes the tag to Neidhart, who powerslams Beefcake for another two-count. Anvil signals for the Hart Attack and grabs Beefcake, but Beefcake counters with an elbow to the head. Hart hits Beefcake in the back as he bounds off the ropes, he and Neidhart hit the Hart Attack, and Anvil covers Brutus for the pinfall and the titles at
12:01. This was a very strong tag match for this time period. Santana worked the majority of the match, leaving only a few moments for Beefcake. I’m not complaining—Brutus was only really over due to his charisma and the fact that he was close to Hogan. All in all, though, this match was great, and the Harts would go on to have the longest Tag Title reign of all time in the WWF.
***¼
Backstage Segments – Joan Rivers is at it again, and now she’s found Mr. T’s dressing room. T is training for his Boxing match tonight against “Cowboy” Bob Orton, and he’s got heavyweight Joe Frazier in his corner to advise him. They replay the Piper’s Pit from a few weeks prior, where Cowboy Bob challenges anyone in the WWF to a boxing match at ‘
Mania, and Hogan signed Mr. T’s name on the contract. [5] Mr. T cuts a tough-guy promo about how he’s ready for Orton tonight, saying that he’ll use everything he learned from being on
The A-Team to help him in this match. Apparently, being on a TV show about being a fugitive from the Army qualifies you to be a boxer. Who knew? Frazier says he’s taught T all the ins and outs of being a boxer. He’ll make sure Orton plays by the rules in this match, and will also deal with Lou Duva at ringside. The camera cuts to Orton, training with boxing trainer Lou Duva in another room. Orton says there’s no way Mr. T will beat him, because he has the best trainer in the world. Well, these definitely could have been worse promos, and they got over just how popular Mr. T was at this time.
*
Boxing Match: “Cowboy” Bob Orton vs. Mr. T – They have boxing gloves on. The Fink states that this will be a standard boxing match with ten rounds. Each round consists of three minutes. This oughta be fun…not. The Fink introduces the guest judge at ringside, G. Gordon Liddy. Nothing like a guy involved in the Watergate break-ins to judge a boxing contest, huh? In the first round, Mr. T gets in a flurry of offense. Carl says he’ll wear himself out before they get to the next round. Well, alright, you’re the expert, Apollo Creed. The first three minutes end with T dominating Cowboy Bob, and the officials have to break them up after the bell rings. “Well, Apollo, who would you give the first round to?” Yes, Vince actually asked that question. Carl didn’t answer. Smart man, that Weathers. Round 2 begins, and Orton begins to fight back, swinging at T, but doesn’t do a lot of damage. Orton backs Mr. T into the corner and hits him continually, knocking B.A. Baracus down with a right hand. The ref counts T down, but he gets back up at eight. Mr. T keeps fighting, ultimately backing Orton into the corner before the bell rings. Orton falls to the mat, looking very tired. “He probably sees about two or three or four Mr. T’s right now,” Weathers comments. Believe it or not, that’s the most intelligent thing he’s said the whole pay-per-view. Round 3 commences, and Mr. T hits a few punches, but a few seconds in, Orton hits T with a kick to the gut and bodyslams him, drawing a DQ at
6:14. Afterwards, the brawl continues until the refs break it up and raise Mr. T’s hand. Orton, meanwhile, rolls out of the ring as the cheers for Mr. T continue, glaring back at the
A-Team actor. This was a really slow match—just fine as a boxing exhibition, but not something that they should do too often. Thankfully, they understood that. We don’t need to see crap like this more than one time.
½*
We now cut to Chicago, at Comiskey Park. Your commentators are Gorilla Monsoon (love him), Gene Okerlund (it’s rare to hear him on commentary), and Cathy Lee Crosby, best known for co-hosting a show called
That’s Incredible. Given how I’ve never heard of it, I guess it wasn’t that incredible, now was it?
Jake “the Snake” Roberts vs. Hillbilly Jim – This is Jake’s debut ‘
Mania. Uncle Elmer is at ringside with Jim. Whoop-dee-freaking-do. Hillbilly starts strong with a bunch of hard punches, but Roberts shoves him away and climbs out of the ring to escape. Wait—he
slithered out of the ring, according to Gorilla. Back in, Jim smashes into Jake with a shoulder block that Roberts sells very well. Jim whips him into two turnbuckles, clotheslining him in each one, and then hits a powerslam that gets the Hick from Mudlick a two-count. Hillbilly picks up Roberts and locks in a bearhug. Roberts struggles for a while before hitting the “cymbal hands” counter to break the hold. Roberts hits a knee lift to Jim, then grabs him for the DDT, getting the 3-count at
3:01. Afterwards, Jake grabs his burlap bag from ringside and pulls the snake out of it. He wraps the snake around the downed body of Hillbilly Jim. Jim froths at the mouth as Uncle Elmer climbs in the ring to help him, but Jake’s already gone. This match was basic booking—it got over Jake as a heel very well. Hillbilly got in some offense, but Roberts outsmarted him, then KO’d him with the DDT.
*
Flag Match: Corporal Kirchner vs. Nikolai Volkoff – As usual, Volkoff sings the Russian national anthem before the match. Freddie Blassie accompanies him. Corporal Kirchner was such a blatant attempt to copy Sgt. Slaughter it isn’t even funny. Anyway, standard Flag match rules apply here: first person to grab their flag wins. Volkoff and Kirchner first lock up for a “test of strength”, as Mean Gene calls it. Cathy says Volkoff reminds her of the Russian in
Rocky IV. If Volkoff had played Ivan Drago, I bet that movie would have broken the box office records, easy. After slamming Kirchner into the corner and hitting a clothesline on him, Volkoff slowly goes for the flag. He starts to climb the pole, but Kirchner drags him off. Kirchner whips Nikolai to the ropes, and bounds off the opposite side. Nikolai counters and grabs Kirchner in a bear hug. Blassie waves Volkoff over and prepares to hit Kirchner with his cane, but Kirchner escapes the hold and Blassie ends up clocking Volkoff instead. Volkoff falls to the mat, but it looks like he didn’t even get hit. Seriously, my grandfather could probably sell a cane shot better. Kirchner then kicks Blassie off the apron, then heads to his corner. He begins to climb the flagpole, but slips about halfway up and falls to the mat. He recovers, climbs up the pole again and grabs the U.S. flag to win the match at
2:52. This was a BAD match, and the fact that both Volkoff and Kirchner botched during it drives its score down. Definitely a very bad blemish on this PPV.
DUD
Backstage Segment –
Jeopardy and
Concentration host Alex Trebek is backstage at Chicago, serving the same purpose Joan Rivers did in the Big Apple. [6] He welcomes people to ‘
Mania, commenting on what an “interesting experience” it is. Trebek comes across as the goofy nerd in the locker room with all the jocks—it’s unique, to say the least. Alex finds “Samurai” Mike Singletary and William “Refrigerator” Perry from the Chicago Bears, who are getting ready for the battle royal later on. King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd walk up, with Bobby Heenan in tow, and confront the two NFL players. Heenan claims that since they have no training, stepping into the ring with his clients is suicide. Fridge and Mike don’t back down, and suddenly, Andre the Giant walks up behind the Bears. The promo ends with Andre pointing at Bundy and Studd, saying they will fall tonight. If it weren’t for that final shot, this promo wouldn’t have been all that special. It was still pretty good, though, and Heenan and even Trebek showed great mic work here.
**¾
Terry Funk & Dory Funk Jr. vs. Junkyard Dog & Greg Valentine – Not many people remember that the Funks were employed in the WWF at this time. They would both leave soon afterward, having much more success in both NWA and ECW. JYD and Valentine were babyfaces here, with JYD getting a lot of support from the fans, as usual. Bobby Heenan, who was managing the Funks at the time, accompanies them. Dory and JYD start it off. JYD overpowers, then Terry runs in so JYD gives bodyslams to both of them multiple times until they retreat. Terry and Valentine tag in. Terry gets whipped in the ropes, takes a bump against the ropes on his stomach and then Valentine knocks him out of the ring. Then he hits a hard clothesline on Dory to send him out of the ring too. JYD tags in; he unloads on Terry by ramming his head into the turnbuckle ten times. Then he does it in another turnbuckle. A headbutt leads to a pin, but Dory saves his brother. JYD throws Terry over the top rope. Lots of bumping to the floor by the Funk brothers. Valentine tags in, but Dory soon gets control on him with some uppercuts to the jaw. Valentine comes back with a headbutt to the stomach for two. Bobby Heenan looks on worried at ringside. The first five minutes of the match is all about the Valentine/JYD team dominating the action. The Funks take control, and Terry hits a cheap knee to the back of Valentine. “It looks like he's really hurt there,” says Cathy. Yes, Cathy, that's kind of the point of wrestling. Back in the ring, Terry hits a suplex on Valentine for two. Valentine counters with a chop block. Then Valentine & Terry bump heads, but Terry is close to his corner so he tags in Dory, who gets a butterfly suplex for two. The Funks get a double clothesline on Valentine as they isolate the Hammer, who is the babyface in peril here. Eventually Greg tags in JYD after he crawls around the mat to avoid Terry from grabbing him. Even as a face, Valentine borrowed so much from Flair’s arsenal. Flair was also influenced by Greg’s dad Johnny Valentine, so it’s no surprise. The crowd goes wild as JYD enters the match. He punches both Funks and then rams their heads together for the dreaded DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER~! He gets a clothesline on Terry Funk. Funk tries to choke JYD with a rope, but he powers out of it and gives Funk a backdrop over the top rope all the way to the floor. GEEZ what a crazy bump! It’s even more insane when you think that Terry was in his early 40’s around this time. JYD attacks both Funks on the floor. He gives Terry a bodyslam on a table, although it's not like a table you'd see in today's WWF. It was more of a white plastic type of table, not a breakable one. Back in the ring, JYD knocks Dory down with a stiff punch. JYD gets a small package on Terry, but Dory saves his brother before the 3-count. JYD tags in Valentine, who puts a figure four leglock on Terry. With Terry out of the hold, JYD goes after Dory while the ref tries to restrain Valentine and that allows Heenan to throw the branding iron to Terry, who crushes Valentine in the head with it. That's enough for Terry to cover Valentine and get the pinfall win at
11:42. After the match, Terry approaches the downed Valentine, but JYD tries to fight off both Funks. Dory takes him out with a kick and a clothesline to the outside. Terry grins sadistically as he “brands” the downed Valentine, who begins to writhe around and scream in pain. Apparently, it’s a perpetually hot branding iron. I need to figure out where to get one of those. Anyway, this was a pretty cool match. The Funks, especially Terry, bumped like madmen, and Valentine gave a very good performance as well. JYD wasn’t that bad, either. The crowd was also behind it, and the branding segment was intense for the time.
***
In-Ring Segment – Mean Gene is in the ring, and he presents Pedro Morales with a special award. At this time in history, Pedro was the only man to have won all three major titles in the WWF: the WWF Title, the Intercontinental Title, and the Tag Titles. Pedro gets on the mic (usually not a good thing, because he can’t cut a promo to save his life) and says what an honor it is to be in a class by himself, as well as competing tonight at
Wrestlemania. This wasn’t anything special, but the award would go on to have major significance in many storylines as the Triple Crown Trophy. As such, I graded it slightly higher than I probably should have.
***¼
20-Man Battle Royal: Pedro Morales, Jimbo Covert (Chicago Bears), Tony Atlas, Ken O’Brien (New York Jets), George “the Animal” Steele, Tony Eason (New England Patriots), King Tonga, Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka, Ed “Too Tall” Jones (Dallas Cowboys), B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, “Samurai” Mike Singletary (Chicago Bears), Big John Studd, King Kong Bundy, Bill Fralic (Atlanta Falcons), “Magnificent” Don Muraco, Russ Francis (San Francisco 49ers), Bruno Sammartino, William “Refrigerator” Perry (Chicago Bears) and Andre the Giant [7] – We transition right into the battle royal, with Pedro being the first man introduced since he’s in the ring already. Each guy, including the NFL players, gets his own entrance. Monsoon directs our attention to Dick Butkus at ringside, who is serving as an “outside referee”. The bell rings, and all hell breaks loose. Jimbo Covert and King Tonga are eliminated first. It’s weird seeing Andre in gold shorts. Thankfully, he’d switch to the singlet within a year to hold back his man-boobs. Tony Eason goes next at the hands of Andre. Andre and Studd clash in the middle of the ring. The announcers play these guys as the two favorites to win. Bundy eliminates Brunzell, then is ganged up on by about seven wrestlers and football players who dump him out to a gale of cheers from the crowd. Steele slides to the outside, and begins to walk to the back. I guess he’s eliminated, as he never comes back. What a weird, unfortunate gimmick for George Steele—the guy was really eloquent in some of his pre-Animal work. Fridge dumps out Tony Atlas, and the crowd goes nuts. The crowd continues to cheer as Perry throws several punches at Studd, staggering the big man. This was a few months after the Chicago Bears’ Super Bowl victory, and this portion of the PPV is in Chicago, so Fridge and Singletary got big pops from the crowd. O’Brien gets dumped by Andre. Pedro Morales clotheslines Russ Francis over the top, but ends up taking himself out as well. Muraco dumps out Bill Fralic. B. Brian Blair goes next. Eight men are left. Sammartino gets taken out by Too Tall Jones. Bruno was close to retiring by this point, but I have to give the old man props for lasting as long as he did. Studd sneaks up behind Jones and dumps him out. Fridge rushes toward Studd, but Studd elbows him and throws him out to a chorus of boos. Fridge wants a handshake on the floor, and Studd obliges—only to be pulled out and eliminated. The crowd loved that—Fridge was over like crazy here. We’re down to the final four—Andre, Snuka, Muraco, and Mike Singletary of the Chicago Bears. Samurai Mike backs Muraco to the corner, but Muraco grabs him by the throat and tips him over. Muraco got pushed pretty hard at around this time; he even got a few title shots against Steamboat. Andre knocks down Snuka with a boot, and Muraco capitalizes by throwing the Superfly out. That dive Snuka took over the top was too sweet. Muraco collides with Andre, staggering the Giant. He then goes to the top rope, but Andre recovers and shoves him off to win the match at
9:16. A pretty uninteresting battle royal, but that’s usually how they were in this period. Around this time, Andre, Bundy or Studd usually came out on top because they were so freaking huge. That, and it was darn near impossible to get a big man like Andre to take a bump to the outside. The Studd/Perry moment was pretty cool too, but that’s about it.
*¼
We move on to the third and final part of the show, which takes place in Los Angeles. The commentators are Lord Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, and the celebrity guest this time is the “Mistress of Darkness”, Elvira. Jesse says “what a pair we make”. Get it? Because Elvira liked to show off her breasticles. I could have used a lot of words. I went with breasticles. They set up the final hour of matches at ringside with Davey Boy Smith vs. Ted Arcidi up next.
Davey Boy Smith vs. Ted Arcidi – Not many people remember Arcidi, but he was booked as “The Strongest Man in the World”. Artie from
The Adventures of Pete & Pete is not amused. Davey Boy has his cousin Dynamite Kid and manager Jimmy Hart at ringside. Arcidi starts off by backing Davey into the corner and hitting a series of shoulder blocks. Ted puts Smith on the turnbuckle and backs up for a clothesline, which he hits—rather sloppily, I might add. Jimmy is going crazy shouting through his megaphone at Davey Boy. That’s why they call the guy “The Mouth of the South”. Arcidi picks up Smith and hits a bodyslam for a 2-count. I don’t think Elvira said anything for the first two minutes of the match. Not that that’s a bad thing, mind you. Arcidi backs up for a splash off the ropes, but Jimmy sneaks up behind him and hits him with the megaphone, producing little effect. The ref berates Jimmy for it, but while the ref’s back is turned, Dynamite runs in and hits a dropkick, staggering Arcidi. Smith hits a hurricanrana and pins Arcidi at
3:32. Arcidi was supposed to be the babyface in this match, but he was booed so bad it was almost funny. To boot, this match was absolutely horrendous. Still, I’m willing to let it slide because it got Davey Boy over as a legit competitor, and helped to establish his credibility by beating a man as big as Arcidi.
½*
Backstage Segment - We go backstage to find baseball announcer Tommy Lasorda, functioning as our “interviewer” for the third and final segment of the PPV. He bumps into a woman backstage and asks her directions. When she turns around, surprise! It’s Talia Shire, AKA Adrian from the
Rocky movies! And she’s brought Sly Stallone with her! Stallone plays up
WM like a major Hollywood deal, and says he wouldn’t miss it for the world. Yeah, gotta shill your next movie somehow, huh, Stallone? He says he’ll be in the corner of the man who starred alongside him in
Rocky II, Hulk Hogan. Kind of ironic, since Hogan played the
villain in that movie. Sly brings Hulk on-camera, and he does his basic Hogan schtick, playing up how he’ll run wild all over Paul Orndorff tonight. Hogan was always really good on the mic, and here is no different. Stallone was also pretty fun to watch. Talia didn’t say but two sentences during the whole thing, and Lasorda was just…there. Still, this was probably the best backstage promo of the PPV.
***½
Intercontinental Title Match: Roddy Piper (C) vs. Randy “Macho Man” Savage – Miss Elizabeth accompanies Macho to ringside, wearing a beautiful purple dress. I actually met Liz at a comic book convention about four years ago; she’s still a knockout. Roddy and Randy stare each other down and talk trash for a few minutes. They lock up for a few moments, then Piper irish-whips Savage and takes him down with a clothesline. Piper grabs Savage, but he counters with a rake to the eyes and rams Piper into the turnbuckle. Macho hits a few hard punches before Piper counters with some chops of his own. Piper gives Macho an atomic drop and a clothesline that gets him two. Piper smiles at Elizabeth at ringside, and she coyly flirts back a bit. Savage recovers and knocks Roddy down. He berates Liz for a few seconds, but Piper sneaks behind him and hits a sunset flip for another 2-count. Savage hits a back elbow on Piper. He goes for a kick to the stomach, but Piper counters with an inside cradle that gets another two. Randy rolls out of the ring, but Roddy follows him out and knocks him to the mat before tossing him back in. Piper turns his attention to Liz again, but Savage comes off the turnbuckle with a double axe handle. Savage throws Roddy into the ring and hits another axe handle that gets a 2-count. Savage drapes Roddy’s arm across the top rope, then takes him back outside with a knee lift. Macho takes Piper down with a clothesline to the outside. He climbs back in to break the count, then kicks Piper in the shoulder. Another drape across the top rope to Piper’s arm. Piper rolls back in, but Savage takes Piper down and hits a double knee drop for another 2-count. Macho dominates the Hotrod for a few more minutes, getting two more near-falls. The crowd chants “Roddy” as Savage locks in a headlock. Piper elbows out after a few seconds and knocks Savage down with a forearm. Piper knocks Savage into the corner, and unloads on him with rights and lefts before whipping him to the opposite corner, hanging Randy upside-down. Piper plays to the crowd a while before hitting a baseball slide. Liz sneaks over and helps Randy off the ropes, but he still admonishes her for some reason. “She should’ve been there for her man,” Elvira notes. Piper picks Savage up and gives him an airplane spin for a 2-count. Savage recovers and hits a boot to Piper’s stomach. Savage hits an airplane spin of his own, staggering Piper. Savage kicks Piper a few more times before going to the top rope. He signals for the elbow drop, but Roddy moves at the last second. After battling back for a few moments, Piper cinches in the sleeper hold. Savage struggles for a few minutes before smashing Piper into the corner. Piper crumples to the mat, and Savage ascends the ropes. He hits the elbow drop, and gets the 3-count to win the title at
9:01. Great match, and it showcased both Piper’s and Savage’s athletic abilities very nicely. Savage also played the chickenshit heel here well. Of course, Savage’s monster IC Title reign would follow, which of course would lead him toward main-event status later on.
***½
Hulk Hogan vs. “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff – Stallone and Shire are in Hogan’s corner during his match, while Bobby Heenan accompanies Orndorff. I never really got into Hulk Hogan, even as a kid. I mean, he was cool and everything, but I was a Steamboat kid through-and-through. Hogan and Orndorff start off locking up, but Hogan pushes Mr. Wonderful to the mat, drawing a bunch of cheers. Even without the title, Hulk was crazy over with the crowd. Orndorff gets back up, and he and Hogan start trading punches. Hogan backs Orndorff against the ropes, but Heenan begins shouting, distracting Hogan. Hulk goes after him, and Orndorff capitalizes by clotheslining him over the top. Paul follows him out, but Hulk regains the advantage as they head back in the ring. Hogan takes control, and when Heenan gets up on the apron, Hogan knocks him off, but Orndorff again takes over from his interference. “Why’d he do that?” Elvira asks. Because he wants Orndorff to win, Elvira! Duh! And here I thought she was supposed to be the heel announcer. Stallone goes over and glares at Heenan, and the Brain backs away, heading back up the entrance ramp away from Rambo. Meanwhile, Orndorff has taken Hogan to the outside and is hammering him on the timekeeper’s table. After a long time, Hogan finally gets back in and Orndorff scores a 2-count. Mr. Wonderful hits a back suplex for another two. Hogan reverses an irish whip and nails a running knee lift and a body slam. Heenan’s back, and he grabs Hogan’s leg, trying to trip him. Stallone grabs Heenan and pulls him away, then picks him up and puts him over his shoulder like a little kid, and starts to carry him backstage. Lord Alfred applauds this, while Ventura says that Stallone’s overstepping his boundaries. When asked to comment, Elvira says she’s too busy looking at Stallone’s muscles. Fabulous… Meanwhile, Orndorff hits a few knees to Hogan before going for a piledriver, but Hogan backdrops him off and starts to hulk up. Stallone is back, and he and Talia clap for Hogan as he absorbs several punches from Orndorff. Hogan hits some hard rights before hitting the old big boot/legdrop combo, then gets the pin on Mr. Wonderful at
10:05. Sly and Talia get into the ring and celebrate with Hogan as the crowd cheers. As far as Hogan matches go, this match was pretty fun to watch. Stallone and Heenan were great in this match as well, although we never did find out what Sly did to the Brain. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?
**½
Before the main event, we get a mini-Ozzy Osbourne concert. He performs a medley of his songs “Bark at the Moon”, “Paranoid”, and “Shot in the Dark”. Not really an Ozzy fan, but this was…interesting. [8]
WWF Title Match: Ricky “the Dragon” Steamboat (C) vs. Dynamite Kid – Hogan and Stallone are in Steamboat’s corner, with Davey Boy and Jimmy Hart in Dynamite’s corner. This is a rematch to a classic contest Steamboat and Dynamite had on
SNME earlier in ’86. Remember how I said I was a mark for the Harts when I was young? I was an even bigger Steamboat mark. He was just so cool, and carried himself like a martial arts kung-fu master when he was champion. The Dragon and Dynamite lock up early, trading chain-wrestling maneuvers and fast-paced pinfall attempts in the first six minutes or so. Steamboat gets the edge early, hitting two patented armdrags on Dynamite to ground him. The Kid counters with a sweet belly-to-belly suplex. Dynamite and Steamboat get to their feet and begin to trade chops in the corner in a cool segment that lasts about half a minute. Dynamite hits an armdrag, drawing boos from the crowd. He shouts something at Steamboat. Steamboat kicks Kid in the face twice, staggering him, then clotheslines him over the top rope, following him out. Hart and Smith try to sneak up on Steamboat, but Stallone and Hogan chase them off. Steamboat throws Kid back in the ring, grabs the arm of Kid, and drapes it over the top rope. Ricky continues to work over the arm, but Dynamite elbows him with his other arm and hits a snap suplex for another two. The Dragon comes back with punches to the head and a chop, tying Dynamite in the ropes. They loved doing that spot in the ‘80s, where a guy looked like he was tied up in the ropes. Dynamite kicks Steamboat in the stomach and fights out. They run the ropes and Steamboat hits a crossbody for a close two-count. The crowd thought that was it. Ricky hits an armdrag followed by two successive shoulder blocks for two each time. Steamboat picks Dynamite up and goes for a suplex, but Kid counters with a fisherman’s suplex for a two. The pace of this match has been ridiculously fast, unlike anything on the card thus far. Dynamite hits a knee drop before getting Steamboat up and sets him in the corner, hitting a dropkick that staggers the Dragon. Dynamite rolls him over for a two. Steamboat counters for a two-count of his own. Back to their feet, Steamboat fights back with chops, but Dynamite hits a rake to the eyes and a gutwrench for a close 2-count. Another suplex by Dynamite gets another two. Steamboat fights back and hits a knee lift that gets two. Dynamite gets a small package for another close two. A suplex by Kid gets two again. Jimmy Hart starts yelling at the ref for counting slow, and Ventura defends him. Elvira says they must be getting tired, because they’ve been wrestling for so long. Thank you for that useless observation. Steamboat is up, and he hits a chop off the top rope for another 2-count. Dragon hits another chop, then punches Dynamite, staggering him into the corner. Steamboat charges Dynamite, but he moves out of the way and hits an inside bridge. Steamboat reverses it for yet another two. Back up, the two continue to trade punches, chops and suplexes for a few more minutes. Steamboat backs against the ropes and Davey Boy tries to clobber him in the back. Hogan drags Davey Boy off and clotheslines him to the mat. Elvira didn’t like that. I did. Back to the match, Steamboat hits a small package for another 2-count. The crowd is extremely loud. Steamboat hits a bodyslam and a knee drop, then locks on an armbar, but Dynamite powers out of it, sending Steamboat flying into the referee, who bumps to the outside. Dynamite climbs to the top and hits the diving headbutt onto Steamboat, but there’s no ref. Ventura’s freaking out, saying this match should be over. Dynamite yells some trash at the ref and Steamboat’s team on the outside. Jimmy Hart picks up the ref and throws him back in. Dynamite covers Steamboat, but he kicks out at two. Dynamite can’t believe it. He goes up top again, but Steamboat recovers and throws him to the mat. Steamboat goes to the top, and Jimmy heads over to hit the Dragon with his megaphone. Hogan pulls Jimmy off the apron, though, and Steamboat hits the crossbody for the pinfall victory at
17:25. The crowd goes nuts. After the match, Hogan climbs in the ring and celebrates with Steamboat for a few minutes, then the PPV closes with the Dragon holding his title aloft. You know the “steal the show” phrase the WWF uses all the time? This match stole the show. It’s the one that holds up over time more than any match from the ‘80s, and is easily one of the best matches, if not THE best match, in WWF history. Both guys gave it their all in this match, and there were literally like 20 or 25 different 2-counts in the whole match. The wrestling was flawless, the storytelling was superb, and the finish was beautifully done. Sadly, Steamboat wasn’t champion for much longer—I won’t bore you with details, because I think we all remember what happened about a month after this. Even sadder, Dynamite would retire due to his injuries about two years after this PPV. He continued to have problems with his back and legs for the rest of his life. Thank goodness he got in a decent run with the belt while he still could. This match is the reason so many traditional wrestling fans yearn for the glory days of the mid-80’s WWF. It truly was a great time to be a wrestling fan.
*****
Overall: When you think of
Wrestlemania 2, you always think of the two great matches on the card: Piper vs. Savage, and Steamboat vs. Dynamite. I’ve seen both matches so many times over the years that I could probably tell you most of the moves they used by heart. The Harts vs. Santana & Beefcake was also very well done. The celebrity involvement in this PPV was insane, but I’m willing to let it slide because of the good matches on the card. Some matches were mediocre, or even bad, but they didn’t detract from the value of the PPV too much. Historically, this is considered by many to be one of the best ‘
Manias of all time (though some might argue that
WM21 was better). As such, it gets a very high score from me—though far from a
perfect one.
Overall Score: 8.5 out of 10
Full Wrestlemania 2 Card
The Iron Sheik def. S.D. Jones (0:39)
WWF Women's Championship: Misty Blue Simms def. Wendi Richter (C) (3:04)
WWF Tag Team Championships: The Hart Foundation (Bret Hart & Jim Neidhart) def. Tito Santana & Brutus Beefcake (C) (12:01)
Boxing Match: Mr. T (w/ Joe Frazier) def. "Cowboy" Bob Orton (w/ Lou Duva) via DQ (6:14)
Jake "the Snake" Roberts def. Hillbilly Jim (w/ Uncle Elmer) (3:01)
Flag Match: Corporal Kirchner def. Nikolai Volkoff (w/ "Classy" Freddie Blassie) (2:52)
The Funks (Dory & Terry) def. Junkyard Dog & Greg "the Hammer" Valentine (11:42)
20-man Battle Royal: Andre the Giant def. B. Brian Blair, Big John Studd, Bill Fralic (Atlanta Falcons), Bruno Sammartino, "Magnificent" Don Muraco, Ed "Too Tall" Jones (Dallas Cowboys), George "the Animal" Steele, Jim Brunzell, Jimbo Covert (Chicago Bears), Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, Ken O'Brien (New York Jets), King Kong Bundy, King Tonga, "Samurai" Mike Singletary (Chicago Bears), Pedro Morales, Russ Francis (San Francisco 49ers), Tony Atlas, Tony Eason (New England Patriots), and William "Refrigerator" Perry (Chicago Bears) (9:16)
Davey Boy Smith (w/ Dynamite Kid & Jimmy Hart) def. Ted Arcidi (3:32)
WWF Intercontinental Championship: Randy "Macho Man" Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth) def. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (C) (9:01)
Hulk Hogan (w/ Sylvester Stallone & Talia Shire) def. "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff (w/ Bobby "the Brain" Heenan) (10:05)
WWF Championship: Ricky "the Dragon" Steamboat (w/ Hulk Hogan & Sylvester Stallone) (C) def. Dynamite Kid (w/ Davey Boy Smith & Jimmy Hart) (17:25)
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[1] IOTL,
Wrestlemania 2 was held a day later, on Monday, April 7, 1986. To date, it’s the only
Wrestlemania to be held on any day of the week other than Sunday.
[2] IOTL, Vince instead called the Long Island portion of the PPV with Susan St. James, best known as an actress on the TV show
Kate and Allie. Trust me, it wasn’t a pretty sight.
[3] Rivers didn’t appear at
Wrestlemania 2 IOTL, obviously, but I figure Vince would shell out money for her to do it. Because that’s just how Vinny-Mac rolls.
[4] You may not have heard of her, but Misty Blue Simms (real name Diane Syms) was a former female boxer-turned-wrestler who worked in the AWA at the time IOTL. She competed at
Wrestlerock ’86 before jumping to the NWA, where she held their Women’s Championship for three years before the title was quietly retired. ITTL, she’s approached by McMahon to serve as a heel replacement for Moolah.
[5] This is the same as OTL, only the contract was for a match on
Saturday Night’s Main Event, and would eventually lead up to a match between Mr. T and Roddy Piper for
Wrestlemania 2. The original Piper’s Pit can be found
here.
[6] Trebek never appeared at
WM2 IOTL, but again, I feel that Vince could have sprung for him easily. By the way, notice anything strange about how the writer introduced Trebek? You figure it out.
[7] IOTL, O’Brien, Eason and Singletary weren’t involved at
Wrestlemania 2—Harvey Martin of the Dallas Cowboys and Ernie Holmes of the Pittsburgh Steelers competed in the battle royal instead. Ed “Too Tall” Jones was at
WM2, but he, along with Dick Butkus, served as one of the “outside enforcers” of the battle royal, not an active participant in it. Also, you might notice that Jimmy Snuka is in a match at this PPV. IOTL, Snuka had quit the WWF by this time due to drug and alcohol problems. ITTL, he gets it under control—for now.
[8] IOTL, Ozzy appeared at
WM2, but not as a musical act. Instead, he was at ringside with the British Bulldogs for their tag team match against Greg Valentine & Brutus Beefcake. Since Smith & Dynamite are heels ITTL, Vince instead goes with a mini-concert with Ozzy instead of having him associate with the bad guys.
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And there you have it—TTL’s
Wrestlemania 2, a much better pay-per-view than it was IOTL, in which we also get the analogous match to OTL’s Savage-Steamboat. I feel that Steamboat-Dynamite is a fair, if not better, substitute. Unfortunately, the quality of technical wrestling won’t stay this good, but it’s at least great to watch (or at least envision) while it lasts. Hope you enjoyed it! I also sprinkled a few subtle hints about the future of TTL in the text. Rather than me point them out to you, you can fish them out for yourself.
Up next, a certain former champion feels that it’s time for him to reclaim the spotlight…
