Hilarious Ways For Hitler to Die

King Augeas

Hitler boards one of the navalised P.1100 Unterseepanzerkampfwagens, designed to ford the Channel with their 75-metre schnorkels, for a demonstration.

A seam fails because of imperfect fits between the prefabricated sections of the tank. It floods and everyone drowns. The dignitaries on the shore are still waiting.
 
Puget Sound

Puget Sound

Hitler escapes from the bunker in Berlin and hides successfully in eastern Germany somehow, changing his appearance by disguising himself by shaving off his mustache. In the 80s, he decides to go to Leipzig on a short trip. Hitler strolls into the Moritzbastei while Angela Merkel and a bunch of other students are digging a tunnel underneath the ground as part of an archaeological dig for the restoration of the ancient town fortifications. They hit a patch of unstable dirt and flee before the tunnel can collapse on them. Hitler, however, falls into the giant hole that suddenly formed below him and dies.
 

ArKhan

After the failed beerhall coup, Hitler goes to prision as in OTL. There he becomes someone's bitch and catches sypillis. He's given mercury to "treat" it. The rest writes itself.
 

Dathi THorfinnsson

King Augeas said:
Hitler boards one of the navalised P.1100 Unterseepanzerkampfwagens, designed to ford the Channel with their 75-metre schnorkels, for a demonstration.

A seam fails because of imperfect fits between the prefabricated sections of the tank. It floods and everyone drowns. The dignitaries on the shore are still waiting.
Click to expand...

Ah... Would this be the P.1100 Wasserschwein (Capybara) to continue the escalating size of rodents?
 

Dathi THorfinnsson

ArKhan said:
After the failed beerhall coup, Hitler goes to prision as in OTL. There he becomes someone's bitch and catches sypillis. He's given mercury to "treat" it. The rest writes itself.
Click to expand...

Hmmm... The insanity of tertiary syphilis vs OTL's insanity.... Would we notice any difference?:p
 

Marthabutt

Goebbels tells Hitler a joke and while laughing,he has a heart attack.

Goebbels then gets put to death and the world forever wonders what the joke was.
 

Major Major

After the Nazi-Soviet Pact, Hitler goes to a reception at the Soviet Embassy. The Soviet Foreign Commissar tells a NKVD aide to mix the Führer a cocktail. Hitler drinks it, likes the taste and has several more, and dies from lead and ethyl poisoning.
 

GlobalHumanism

Hitler falls out of the limo driving him around Berlin on his 50th birthday.
Subsequently, the final frame in Triumph of the Will is a recording of the car running over his body.

feliz cumpleaños
 
PaleoT

PaleoT

Ever since Adolf was a young boy, he dreamt of being a serendipitous, graceful butterfly. Such infatuation can be shown in his rather lackluster art. So naturally, as he arose to power in Nazi Germany his first objective was to "inspect" the Luftwaffe to make sure that his flying machines lived up to his childhood fantasy of being a butterfly.

Adolf: Ah Ja. Ich liebe das plane. . but warum wing nicht flappen?(Intentionally using crappy Deutsch)

Jügo(2nd Airborne Division): WEIL IF SIE KANN FLAPPEN THEN SIE KANNT FLYEN

Adolf: Fich Dich Jügo. Ich liebe flappen, like Butterfly!

Jügo: . . .

Adolf: ICH LIEBE FLAPPEN JÜGO

Jügo: OFCOURSE FURHRER, ICH WILL MACHEN DIE LUFT FLAPPEN

. . . 2 months later, launch of prototype "LUFTARSCHLIEBER", a plane which incorporates wings that "flappen" to generate lift. . .

Adolf: Oh. Sie is done? Now kann ich flappen?

Jügo: NEIN ES IST ZU DANGEROUS

Adolf: Du suck Jügo. ICH BIN DER FURHER VON DER DRITTE REICH UND ICH KANN NICHT FLAPPEN?! ICH MACHEN FLAPPEN!!

Hitler gets in the prototype, as no German is brave enough to get in the way of Adolf and his desire to flappen.

. . . aircraft lifts off ground. . .

Adolf: Ich bin sehr Pretty. Ohhhh Jaaaaa

. . . aircraft faceplants into ground, instantly killing das flappen master Hitler. . .

Das Ende
 
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Mr. Magi

Der Fuhrer, interested in exploring the homeland of the Aryans, decides to take a visit to the Raj after a goodwill tour to the UK earlier in 1935 and being convinced by a very eager Himmler as a part of a Thule Society trip. He stops by a food stall during a portion of the visit and tries some Indian curry (of a lentil kind) due to its near vegan nature. Not only did he not particularly enjoy the spices of the dish, it would kill him three days later thanks to a mix of food poisoning and horrible diarrhea.
 

Hilarious Bolloc

OTL, Hitler's vegetarianism (and possibly Doktor Morell) meant that he constantly suffered from intestinal gas. Basically, he farted a lot.
Also OTL, he had a liking for small rooms in bunkers, perhaps because of WWI experience.

ATL - Hitler has a gigantic meal and, while it's digesting, the RAF bombs Berlin.
Hitler hurries down to a small room in his bunker, closes the door, lies on a camp-bed and falls asleep.
Whether due to a near-miss or just natural wear-and-tear, the ventilation in his room fails.
Overnight, Hitler asphyxiates himself.

Inspired in part by http://www.ronsonwriter.com/content/view/69/9/
 

Saphroneth

Banned
Inspects New York prison camp post-conquest, gets in hilarious escapade, gets switched with Charlie Chaplin and eliminated as subversive.
 
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