offtopic:goatism
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====== Goatism ====== | ====== Goatism ====== | ||
- | A parody religion, bearing the same relation towards Sheepism as Islam does to Christianity. | + | A parody religion, bearing the same relation towards |
- | **Goatism** is believed by its adherents to be the Final Revelation of [[Ian]] (PBUH) to the members of the Board. | + | **Goatism** is believed by its adherents to be the Final Revelation of [[offtopic:Ian]] (PBUH) to the members of the Board. |
- | ===== Origins | + | ==== Origins ==== |
- | As the legend goes, Goatism was revealed unto the Prophet [[offtopic:Flocculencio]] late one night after he had had far too much to drink while contemplating the false revelation of the [[offtopic:Sheep Thread]]. The Goat appeared to him and, in the words of Terry Pratchett, pointed out that [[Offtopic:Sheep]] are stupid and must be driven while Goats are intelligent and must be //led//. | + | As the legend goes, Goatism was revealed unto the Prophet [[Flocculencio]] late one night after he had had far too much to drink while contemplating the false revelation of the [[Sheep Thread]]. The Goat appeared to him and, in the words of [[Terry Pratchett]], pointed out that [[sheepism|Sheep]] are stupid and must be driven while Goats are intelligent and must be //led//. |
- | Thus, the religion of Goatism was born. Flocculencio reigns as the Goatist Caliph, Commander of the Faithful, his badge of office the mighty, jewel-encrusted turban of the Caliphs of Cordoba wot he bought off some bloke down the pub. He also holds the secular titles of Caliph of Anglistan and Protector of the Gaels. | + | Thus, the religion of Goatism was born. Flocculencio reigns as the Goatist Caliph, Commander of the Faithful, |
- | ===== Tenets | + | ==== Tenets ==== |
- | 1. There is no Goat but Goat, and Flocculencio is its Prophet! | + | - There is no Goat but Goat, and Flocculencio is its Prophet! |
+ | - Women are soft and smell good and are to be encouraged. | ||
+ | - [[Keira Knightley]] and [[Doctor What]] are to be regarded as saints - St. Keira, Our Lady of Grace and St. Bruno the Undead respectively. The truth of their existence does not detract from the truth of Goatism but rather serves as an example of the way in which the Spirit of the Goat works in the World of Men. | ||
- | 2. Women are soft and smell good and are to be encouraged. | + | ==== Schism ==== |
- | 3. [[Keira Knightley]] and [[Doctor What]] | + | [[offtopic: |
- | ===== Schism ===== | + | ==== Ghazis |
- | [[Offotpic: | + | The tumult of the Schism brought |
- | ===== Ghazis ===== | + | [[offtopic: |
- | The tumult of the Schism brought to the fore numerous Goatists whose actions to preserve the sanctity of the Faith were rewarded by the Caliph. Among these were [[offtopic: | ||
- | [[offtopic:MrP]] was also proclaimed a Ghazi at this time but in a later round of religious war showed | + | ==== The Rise of the Satans ==== |
+ | |||
+ | In late 2006, [[offtopic:Justin Pickard]] earned the title of Great Satan through his numerous attacks upon the peaceful followers of the Goat. Though Pickard brooded from afar, the turmoil caused by this led to a second attempt by [[offtopic: | ||
+ | |||
+ | As such, the apostate Nekromans | ||
+ | |||
+ | These events were later dramaticised in the plot of the [[AH.com Series]] episode " | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==== See Also ==== | ||
+ | |||
+ | **[[Orthodox Sheepism]]** | ||
+ | |||
+ | **[[Reformed Sheepism]]** | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==== Navigation ==== | ||
+ | |||
+ | **[[AH.com Religions]]** |
offtopic/goatism.txt · Last modified: 2019/03/29 15:13 by 127.0.0.1