offtopic:banhammer_40k
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**[[http:// | **[[http:// | ||
- | === AH.com Series === | + | ---- |
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- | The recent Series episodes " | + | |
==== Background so far ==== | ==== Background so far ==== | ||
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The greatest power in the Board is the Administratum, | The greatest power in the Board is the Administratum, | ||
- | The Administratum is served by the legions of Ianite Janissaries (eqv to Space Marines). Their chief foe is Logic, epitomised by the four Logic Gods: Thande, Eleven11, Rattslinger and Radical_Neutural. In the distant past, some Janissary chapters defected to the side of Logic in the Collins Heresy, and these Traitor Janissaries continue to serve Logic. However the Logic Gods also fight among themselves. The forces of Logic are mostly based in the Ear of Reason, a region of space which is brain-numbingly predictable and orderly. | + | The Administratum is served by the legions of Ianite Janissaries (eqv to Space Marines). Their chief foe is Logic, epitomised by the four Logic Gods: [[Thande]], [[Eleven11]], [[Rattslinger]] and [[Radical_Neutural]]. In the distant past, some Janissary chapters defected to the side of Logic in the Collins Heresy, and these Traitor Janissaries continue to serve Logic. However the Logic Gods also fight among themselves. The forces of Logic are mostly based in the Ear of Reason, a region of space which is brain-numbingly predictable and orderly. |
- | FTL travel is accomplished by travelling through the Implausiterium or ' | + | FTL travel is accomplished by travelling through the Implausiterium or ' |
Weapons include Adamantium Chainsaws, Banhammers, Kickboots, Implausibility Guns, Ignore Guns and Blamethrowers. | Weapons include Adamantium Chainsaws, Banhammers, Kickboots, Implausibility Guns, Ignore Guns and Blamethrowers. | ||
- | Aliens in the Board include the Tao or Teu, a scarily social-democratic set of aliens made up of Sinophiles and Eurofederalists; | + | Aliens in the Board include the Tao or Teu, a scarily social-democratic set of aliens made up of Sinophiles and Eurofederalists; |
In ancient times the Board was subject to a war between the two Gaysexual Races, the Kit' | In ancient times the Board was subject to a war between the two Gaysexual Races, the Kit' | ||
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The Administratum is deliberately complex in a HRE-type way. Some of its divisions and agencies include: | The Administratum is deliberately complex in a HRE-type way. Some of its divisions and agencies include: | ||
- | **Ianite Janissaries**: | + | **Ianite Janissaries**: |
- | **Robot Revolt**: The Adeptus Analyticus. Based on Mosaic Mars, they are responsible for all the electronics and technology in the Administratum, | + | **Robot Revolt**: The Adeptus Analyticus. Based on [[shared worlds: |
**NQLA**: A secret Janissary army, that cooperates with the Grammar Inquisition; | **NQLA**: A secret Janissary army, that cooperates with the Grammar Inquisition; | ||
- | **Neophyte Guard**: Aka the Noobs, the much-underrated regular army counterpart to the Janissaries. Founded by Luakel, he of the Mantle of Eternal Noobishness, | + | **Neophyte Guard**: Aka the Noobs, the much-underrated regular army counterpart to the Janissaries. Founded by [[Luakel]], he of the Mantle of Eternal Noobishness, |
**Ecclesiarchy**: | **Ecclesiarchy**: | ||
- | **Great Holy Grammar Inquisition**: | + | **Great Holy Grammar Inquisition**: |
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- | **Heterosexual Reconquista**: | + | |
+ | **Heterosexual Reconquista**: | ||
==== The Four Logic Gods ==== | ==== The Four Logic Gods ==== | ||
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**[[Rattslinger]]** - God of Poor Hygiene. | **[[Rattslinger]]** - God of Poor Hygiene. | ||
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==== List of Ianite Janissary, Logic Janissary Legions and 1 Nephyte Guard Regiment ==== | ==== List of Ianite Janissary, Logic Janissary Legions and 1 Nephyte Guard Regiment ==== | ||
- | **Sault Ste. Marines**: Ianite Janissaries. The oldest, largest, and most Mary Sue-ish legion. None of them ever defect or do anything bad, by Administratum standards. Homeworld: Chersonesus. Colours: brown and blue. Their primarch was Super55 and their current leader is Hermanubis. Rivals of the Steel Buckeyes of Toledo. | + | **Sault Ste. Marines**: Ianite Janissaries. The oldest, largest, and most Mary Sue-ish legion. None of them ever defect or do anything bad, by Administratum standards. Homeworld: Chersonesus. Colours: brown and blue. Their primarch was [[Super55]] and their current leader is [[Hermanubis]]. Rivals of the Steel Buckeyes of Toledo. |
- | **Steel Buckeyes**: An Ianite chapter hailing from Toledo. Constant rivals of the Sault Ste. Marines. Colours: red and white. Their primarch was luakel and their current leader is demonkangaroo. | + | **Steel Buckeyes**: An Ianite chapter hailing from Toledo. Constant rivals of the Sault Ste. Marines. Colours: red and white. Their primarch was luakel and their current leader is [[demonkangaroo]]. |
- | **The Inevitables**: | + | **The Inevitables**: |
- | **Creep Crusaders**: | + | **Creep Crusaders**: |
- | **Baldskulls**: | + | **Baldskulls**: |
- | **The Viennese Classics**: Ianite Janissary Legion. Their homeworld is The Archduchy. Their primarch was Hapsburg, who rebelled against the God-Admin, but repented. Their current leader is ImperialVienna. Their special ability is Dynasticism (can temporarily take over other legions). Their chief rivals are the Caliphs. Their colours are black and gold and their battle songs are 'The Blue Danube' | + | **The Viennese Classics**: Ianite Janissary Legion. Their homeworld is The Archduchy. Their primarch was [[Hapsburg]], who rebelled against the God-Admin, but repented. Their current leader is [[ImperialVienna]]. Their special ability is Dynasticism (can temporarily take over other legions). Their chief rivals are the Caliphs. Their colours are black and gold and their battle songs are 'The Blue Danube' |
- | **Kill Claimers**: Founded by Primarch Admiral Canaris to fight against the Spammerid invasion. They are now led by Alayta. The Kill Claimers are the bitter enemies of the Spammerids and their colours are grey and green. | + | **Kill Claimers**: Founded by Primarch |
- | **The Caliphs**: From the planet Daralharb, the Caliphs are the rivals of the Inevitables, | + | **The Caliphs**: From the planet Daralharb, the Caliphs are the rivals of the Inevitables, |
- | **Slavic Brigade**: Founded by Gladi and now led by VoCSe (for irony value). Their colours are light blue and red. They are the mortal enemies of the Wiki Warriors. | + | **Slavic Brigade**: Founded by [[Gladi]] and now led by [[VoCSe]] (for irony value). Their colours are light blue and red. They are the mortal enemies of the Wiki Warriors. |
**Blame Eaters**: Logic Janissaries serving Thande. Colours: Blue and gold. Led by Roberto. Homeworld: Danum, in the Ear of Reason. The great enemy of the Plastic Paddies. They seek to cause destruction so that Thande might be blamed for it. Their magicians are masters of chemistry and the legion is thus resistant to the plagues of Rattslinger. | **Blame Eaters**: Logic Janissaries serving Thande. Colours: Blue and gold. Led by Roberto. Homeworld: Danum, in the Ear of Reason. The great enemy of the Plastic Paddies. They seek to cause destruction so that Thande might be blamed for it. Their magicians are masters of chemistry and the legion is thus resistant to the plagues of Rattslinger. | ||
- | **Mappist Cabal**: Originally formed of rebellious units from the Border Guard who embraced the Susanoist Heresy, they reject the Administratum and its ' | + | **Mappist Cabal**: Originally formed of rebellious units from the Border Guard who embraced the Susanoist Heresy, they reject the Administratum and its ' |
- | **Verb Vomiters**: A Logic Janissary Legion serving Thande. Feared as much as they are respected, these janissaries are notorious for their addictive writing, overloading an enemy' | + | **Verb Vomiters**: A Logic Janissary Legion serving Thande. Feared as much as they are respected, these janissaries are notorious for their addictive writing, overloading an enemy' |
- | **Plastic Paddies**: Logic Janissaries serving [[Eleven11]], | + | **Plastic Paddies**: Logic Janissaries serving [[Eleven11]], |
- | **The Ubercornubians**: | + | **The Ubercornubians**: |
- | **The Numbered Sons**: A Logic Janissary Legion made up of members with numbers in their names. Their original Primarch was MBarry829, but he later repented, removed the number from his name and came back to the God-Admin' | + | **The Numbered Sons**: A Logic Janissary Legion made up of members with numbers in their names. Their original Primarch was MBarry829, but he later repented, removed the number from his name and came back to the God-Admin' |
- | **Clone Rapers**: A Logic Janissary chapter serving [[Radical_Neutural]]. They are made up of traitors from the Creep Crusaders, who are now their bitter foes, and the two represent the light and dark sides of Creepiness. Their primarch is WyldCard4 and they colours are red and orange. | + | **Clone Rapers**: A Logic Janissary chapter serving [[Radical_Neutural]]. They are made up of traitors from the Creep Crusaders, who are now their bitter foes, and the two represent the light and dark sides of Creepiness. Their primarch is [[WyldCard4]] and they colours are red and orange. |
- | **Bad Touchers**: Logic Janissaries serving Radical_Neutural, | + | **Bad Touchers**: Logic Janissaries serving Radical_Neutural, |
**Wiki Warriors**: Made up of traitors from the Slavic Brigade, [[Polish trolls|mostly Polish]]. Their battle cry is ' | **Wiki Warriors**: Made up of traitors from the Slavic Brigade, [[Polish trolls|mostly Polish]]. Their battle cry is ' | ||
- | **Sons of Byzantium**: | + | **Sons of Byzantium**: |
**The Delegions of Grandeur** - Orginally the Admin Poodles, they would have their name changed to the Sons of Collins after their primarch, [[Mike Collins]], led them on sucessful crusades. In time pride lead Collins to the Logic Gods, and they corrupted him. He would instigate the Collins Heresy and attempt to claim the Administratum. However he was slain by the [[Ian|God-Admin]], | **The Delegions of Grandeur** - Orginally the Admin Poodles, they would have their name changed to the Sons of Collins after their primarch, [[Mike Collins]], led them on sucessful crusades. In time pride lead Collins to the Logic Gods, and they corrupted him. He would instigate the Collins Heresy and attempt to claim the Administratum. However he was slain by the [[Ian|God-Admin]], | ||
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**The Ottoman Ones**: The other ancient Gaysexual Race; in a great war, they and the Kit' | **The Ottoman Ones**: The other ancient Gaysexual Race; in a great war, they and the Kit' | ||
- | **The Membar**: Made up entirely of Old Board members, this old and skilled race is in its decline. Thousands of years ago, they fell into decadent ways, following the path of Pantslessness and its cult leader [[Diamond]]. From this decadence arose the Logic God [[Radical_Neutural]]. Most of the Membar then repented, while some continued following Pantslessness and became the Dark Membar. The Membar have the strange belief that they live their lives backwards in time, like the trolls in Discworld (reference to the fact that posts read from the bottom upwards on the Old Board). The Membar live on various, scattered Crapworlds. (Parody of the Eldar and their Craftworlds.) | + | **The Membar**: Made up entirely of Old Board members, this old and skilled race is in its decline. Thousands of years ago, they fell into decadent ways, following the path of Pantslessness and its cult leader [[Diamond]]. From this decadence arose the Logic God [[Radical_Neutural]]. Most of the Membar then repented, while some continued following Pantslessness and became the Dark Membar. The Membar have the strange belief that they live their lives backwards in time, like the trolls in [[Discworld]] (reference to the fact that posts read from the bottom upwards on the Old Board). The Membar live on various, scattered Crapworlds. (Parody of the Eldar and their Craftworlds.) |
**The Teu**: (Also called the Tao) A combination of the European and Asian board members. Led of course by [[Hendryk]]. The Teu follow the path of Social Democracy, considered evil in the Administratum. They believe they invented everything. (Parody of the Tau.) | **The Teu**: (Also called the Tao) A combination of the European and Asian board members. Led of course by [[Hendryk]]. The Teu follow the path of Social Democracy, considered evil in the Administratum. They believe they invented everything. (Parody of the Tau.) | ||
- | **Trollz**: A mindless race of fighters made by the Ottoman Ones to fight in a war. Now they roam in scattered bands, attacking and pillaging randomly. The Trollz reproduce by cloning, and many of their nests are led by Rockingham clones. (NOTE: Although banned trolls appear in the other factions, the Trollz are supposed to only consist of the boring ones, not the kind who are remembered). (Parody of Orkz.) | + | **Trollz**: A mindless race of fighters made by the Ottoman Ones to fight in a war. Now they roam in scattered bands, attacking and pillaging randomly. The Trollz reproduce by cloning, and many of their nests are led by [[Rockingham]] clones. (NOTE: Although banned trolls appear in the other factions, the Trollz are supposed to only consist of the boring ones, not the kind who are remembered). (Parody of Orkz.) |
- | **[[phonespammers|Spammerids]]**: | + | **[[phonespammers|Spammerids]]**: |
- | **Near-humans**: | + | **Near-humans**: |
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- | + | ==== OLD NOTES (NOW OBSOLETE) ==== | |
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- | ==== OLD NOTES (OBSOLETE) ==== | + | |
[[Ian]] = the God-Admin, the Admin of AHkind | [[Ian]] = the God-Admin, the Admin of AHkind | ||
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[[Rattslinger]] = Nurgle, due to being associated with spectacularly unhygienic roommates? | [[Rattslinger]] = Nurgle, due to being associated with spectacularly unhygienic roommates? | ||
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+ | ==== In AH.com Fiction ==== | ||
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+ | The // | ||
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+ | ==== Navigation ==== | ||
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+ | **[[stories: | ||
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+ | **[[offtopic: | ||
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offtopic/banhammer_40k.txt · Last modified: 2019/03/29 15:13 by 127.0.0.1