"What Madness Is This?" - A Timeline

Well, guys, it's my 18th Birthday (Oct. 1st)! Ol' Napo is finally an adult. I'll be seeing you all around the mysteriously vague office we adults all work and drink coffee at (that's how it works right? :p).

Since I have all of today off unconditionally, I may put up two or three chapters while I'm stuffing my face with Oreo ice cream cake. :D I may also upload a couple posters if I can.

let me be one of the first to wish you a happy 18th.
 
Thanks and thanks! :D



Danke, Sarge!

Wow, your post was your 333rd.

That's literally the umpteenth time tonight I've gotten multiples of 3 in random places. Tonight's episode of Ancient Aliens was all about number 3. :eek::p


......................:cool:......................
 
We must see how they celebrate birthdays in the Empire and Republican Union.

Union:

"Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuu! Yay! Son, you're 18 years old now! And you know what that means!"

"Gee whiz! What? A car?!"

"Nope, even better!"

"What could be better than that?!"

"Official membership in the Manifest Destiny Party!"

"OH WOW NO WAY GET OUT OF HERE REALLY I'M NOT WORTHY!"

:p:D
 
Well, guys, it's my 18th Birthday (Oct. 1st)! Ol' Napo is finally an adult. I'll be seeing you all around the mysteriously vague office we adults all work and drink coffee at (that's how it works right? :p).

Since I have all of today off unconditionally, I may put up two or three chapters while I'm stuffing my face with Oreo ice cream cake. :D I may also upload a couple posters if I can.

Happy birthday to such a young and prolific writer! But beware: never put too much trust in the effects of a sugar rush! :p
 
Pretty interesting TL.
But, Its really hard to imagine france holding an empire in india for so long without a major rebellion kicking them out.
Also whats japan doing in this world?Still in 1600s?
 

Avskygod0

Banned
Sooner or later every European, African, Asian and Oceanian country will have this part in constitution:

Every American country will be dismantled and turned into colonies until they fight for independence, then repeat after 20 years
 
Happy birthday to such a young and prolific writer! But beware: never put too much trust in the effects of a sugar rush! :p

Danke, Berlin! And it's too late, the sugar party has already begun. :p:D

Happy birthday! And I look forward to reading what you come up with today.

Happy 18th birthday Napoleon! :D Hope you have a great day! Also can't wait to see what you'll be posting later today. :cool:

Thanks, guys! I'm working on the new stuff right now! :D

Pretty interesting TL.
But, Its really hard to imagine france holding an empire in india for so long without a major rebellion kicking them out.
Also whats japan doing in this world?Still in 1600s?

Thanks! Oh, don't worry, there have been Indian rebellions. I'm just saving talking about them until we get to India's role in the upcoming world war. :D

Sooner or later every European, African, Asian and Oceanian country will have this part in constitution:

Pretty much. :p If the Union goes down anytime from here to the end of time, there is going to be so many foreign troops garrisoned it'll make your head spin. :D
 
Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday, Napoleon53, and--at least to me-- Nixon is scarier than Joe Steele; SteeleéStalin was a lunatic; Nixon is just EVIL! :eek::eek::eek:
 
Union:

"Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuu! Yay! Son, you're 18 years old now! And you know what that means!"

"Gee whiz! What? A car?!"

"Nope, even better!"

"What could be better than that?!"

"Official membership in the Manifest Destiny Party!"

"OH WOW NO WAY GET OUT OF HERE REALLY I'M NOT WORTHY!"

:p:D

:D

Happy birthday, you wonderful human being. Can't hardly wait for the next update. :)
 
Happy birthday, Napoleon53, and--at least to me-- Nixon is scarier than Joe Steele; SteeleéStalin was a lunatic; Nixon is just EVIL! :eek::eek::eek:

Thanks! It's been awesome so far.

I'm not quite sure what Nixon will end up doing. I've considered having him be a replacement for Joey Goebbels. Since Nixon flat-out doesn't mind murdering people, he'd do well managing the Ohio Country Reeducation Camps. :eek:

:D

Happy birthday, you wonderful human being. Can't hardly wait for the next update. :)

Danke schoen! :D
 
As promised, here's part III (really looooonnnggg), covering film and comics! It's about the length of two normal chapters. :D I'll try to come up with illustrations for Captain Columbia and Lady Virginia sometime soon, but you can safely assume they look quite a lot like Cap'n America and Wonder Woman (I'd guess Lady Virginia is exactly like 1940s Wonder Woman, with a golden V on her chest instead of the eagle).

And I dare you to spot all the cultural references and parodies in this chapter. I did a bunch of research and I'm already fairly knowledgeable about old-timey films. I reference everything from things like The Sign of the Cross, to Singing In The Rain, to Tennessee Ernie Ford, Marilyn Monroe, The Great Dictator and even freaking Indiana Jones. But seriously, there's a Prussian Singing In The Rain. :D

THE GOLDEN AGE OF ENTERTAINMENT: PART III

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UNION CINEMA:

By the 1940s, facist English immigrant Alfred Cromwell Hitchcock, veteran of the Second English Civil War, had established himself as the best filmmaker in the Republican Union. His films, created under his Action Pictures label, had achieved widespread popularity within the Union sphere of influence. Most of them were horror and crime stories, whipping up fear and terror of Slavs, Irish, and Inferiors. He launched the career of megastar Maxwell Cross in 1939 with the smash hit thriller 13 Angry Irish Men, based on the "true story" of 13 Catholic anarchists plotting to assassinate Custer in 1918. It was so popular, that in 1941 Hitchcock and Cross (and Action Pictures) released the first ever sequel to a movie: 13 Angry Irish Men: Justice is Served, a drama centering around the trials of the five assassination plotters who survived the manhunt in the first movie. Then, in 1943, Cross starred in another Hitchcock classic, For Whom the Bugle Calls, about Union soldiers serving in South-West Asia during the establishment of the Greater American-Pacific Co-Prosperity Sphere. The film received rave reviews, with huge amounts of praise for Cross's portrayal of Ben Saunderson, a war-worn, trigger-happy, patriot trying to survive the jungles of the fictional Blood Island, and for up-and-coming German-born actor Teddy Wilhelm's performance as Saunderson's sidekick Sammy Brant. It was the most violent movie ever made up to that point, even beating out another 1940s hit, the Southron classic Johnny Bathorn and the Scottish Kid (1942).

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Max Cross's character Jimmy Wells in a still from 13 Angry Irish Men (1939)

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Still from For Whom the Bugle Calls (1943)

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Still of Teddy Wilhelm's For Whom the Bugle Calls character Sammy Brant about to open fire uoon "a despicable gaggle of French fops and Mahommetens." This scene had Cross deliver one of his most famous lines: "Shoot 'em again, Sam!"

Audiences liked Cross as an adventurer so much that Hitchcock decided to make a whole series of movies just centered around that. In 1944, Action Pictures released Pennsylvania Jack: Pilgrim in an Unholy Land. The film's plot covered the fictional escapades of John "Jack" Pennyworth (played by Cross), a daring Pennsylvania-born adventurer going through Asia and the Middle East in pursuit of treasures for the real-life Union Artifact Retrieval and Archaeological Excavation Office. On his journeys he tangles with radical Muslims in Turkey, fights Chinese martial artists, and has a climatic showdown with his French rival Remmy Romain on top of a massive airship over the Hindu Kush. The movie was the most popular movie ever made up to that point, and even some Southron critics acknowledged its artistic merit.

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Maxwell Cross as Jack Pennyworth in Pennsylvania Jack: Pilgrim in an Unholy Land (1944)

In 1946, after several successful detective movies, Cross returned to the fedora and leather jacket as Jack Pennyworth in Pennsylvania Jack: Quest for the Sword of Arthur, which covered Pennyworth's European adventures searching for the legendary Excalibur. The plot had Remmy Romain (who somehow survived his fall into an airship propeller in the final fight of the first movie) finding it first and taking it with him to his somewhat hilariously-named Chateau de Murdeir, a massive medieval fortress high in the Alps. The following two hours of film almost surpassed the violence of For Whom the Bugle Calls, with Pennyworth amassing a body-count of over 200 French goons, many of whom die horrific deaths, such as being crushed by a landship, having grenades thrust down their throats, and (most oddly) getting gored by the tusks of a wall-mounted boar head. Audiences couldn't get enough, and a third film, Pennsylvania Jack: Raiders of the Lost Ark (1948), had Pennyworth going in search of Noah's Ark high in the mountains of Palestine, all the while murdering a spectacular 320 French and Muslim goon characters. It topped Bugle Calls in violence by far, and was the movie that made Cross's Pennyworth an American icon. Raiders was also notable for bringing Harry Truman, star of the 1922 hit Siege of Guadalajara, out of retirement.

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Promotional still from Pennsylvania Jack: Raiders of the Lost Ark (1948)

Cross was pure cinema gold from that point on, and nothing he made did less than spectacular at the box office. He did two Action Pictures detective movies with Harry Truman in 1949, Lake's Ten and Murder, Murder, Murder! Then, he joined forces with Truman and Teddy Wilhelm again for the 1950 "cinematic masterpiece" Double-Crossed, the "true story" of ORRA agents infiltrating a Slavic neighborhood in Shicagwa in the 1920s. They get caught and end up being held hostage for 29 days as legions of government agents surround the shanty town until the hostages finally break free and spectacularly massacre every single person in the village.

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Mary-Jane Mundy

Double-Crossed was the first for up-and-comer actress Mary-Jane Mundy, the unusually voluptuous (by Union standards) actress who played Cindy Klausen, the love interest for Cross's character in the movie. She became the most popular leading lady in the Union over the next several years, and eventually began a long affair with none other than Chuckie Oswald himself, and she would even sing "Happy Birthday, Comrade-Patriot Oswald" in 1956 at the Capitol Builiding, causing a storm of controversy...

SUMMARY:
In the end, Cross, Truman, and Mundy became icons of a generation. The entertainment world of the 1940s-50s in the Union was centered around those three people. There were other popular stars, such as Gabriel Henrikson and Lewis Cartwright (who both starred in the 1949 hit One Flew Over the Finch's Nest, about inmates at an Ohio Country reeducation camp), but in the end, Cross was king. The Pennsylvania Jack series was so popular that a series of comic books was created that would continue for years.

Union film was extremely violent and graphic, unhesitatingly showing blood, gore, death, destruction, and murder. The films were absolutely stuffed with propaganda, both of the open sort and subliminal. The Taft Code, the morality code used in the Union by law, made sure cursing was not done, and (unlike Europe) did not allow nudity of any sort (dresses cut above the knee were considered "harmful to children," but low-cut dresses were usually permitted to a certain degree). The only movie that contained the word "damn" in the entire "Golden Era" of 1940s and 50s was the 1951 film Spirit of 1801, where it was overlooked because it was an actual quote by Reverend Burr himself.

FOREIGN CINEMA:
Movies in the Columbian sphere and in the rest of the world were much less heavy in propaganda (though there was still quite a bit) and focused more on stories. Romantic comedies first became popular in Virginia, and then spread to Europe. War movies were still common fare, but many of the countries hadn't been at war for so long that most of the films had to be about the Napoleonic Wars. A few movies were made in the South celebrating the Revolutionary War and their longstanding friendship with the French, but these films were not really popular, as "the Spirit of '76 had been stolen by the Union. One could not even look at the Thirteen Colonies flag without thinking of the Manifest Destiny Party Blood-Stained Banner," said Georgian film critic Arthur O'Reilly.

The first European mega-hit (popular all over the world) was the 1940 Imperial classic Napoleon Bonaparte. It was even popular in places like Prussia, where the film's depiction of the Prussians opposing Napoleon as "the noble and worthy foe" proved popular. It featured the most-ever extras in a film, with over forty thousand "soldiers" appearing in a scene reenacting the 1800 Battle of Marengo in full-scale on the site of the actual battle.

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European cinema remained more artistic, in a way, than the American and Columbian variety, with less emphasis on action and more on story, techniques, and expensive sets. Imperial cinema was also much more open as to what could be depicted in a film without there being riots, window-smashing, and arson in the streets. The first curse word to ever be said in a film was in the 1932 French-language movie Gone With the Tide. The first instance of nudity (though it was simple historical accuracy) in a mainstream film was the 1939 Spanish-produced Ancient Egyptian epic The Last Pharaoh, where Cleopatra was shown partially nude in one scene. Imperial cinema became quite adept at making fairly historically accurate ancient and medieval epics, such as close to 200 movies about the Roman and Greek Empires made in the 1930s, 1940s, and 1950s. Many of them featured thousands of extras and huge sets.

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Still from the 1951 Imperial movie Bread and Circuses

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French actress Claudette Colbert as Cleopatra in The Last Pharaoh (1940)

Musicals were also very popular in Europe, especially in Prussia. Singend im Regen, "Singing in the Rain," was a world-wide mega-hit in 1946. Since it contained almost no plot whatsoever and almost totally focused on singing and dancing, it was popular all over the world even if the audiences couldn't understand German. Even the Union was pleased with it, thought they did edit out "scandalous" backup dancers.

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Still from the famous Prussian classic Singend im Regen (1946)

Musicals experienced a huge revival in the Columbian sphere in the late 1940s and early 1950s. Musicals had been out of style since the 1910s, as people thought they had been done to death, but new styles in music and the rise of the greaser culture made them popular once again. The 1948 Carolinian classic The Barber Shop Singers brought back fond memories of the 1920s for many people, and it was one of the rare Southron films allowed "virtually" unedited into the Union theaters, though it did get an advisory warning of "foreign propaganda idealizing the hell-hole of the South." Johnny Reb was a 1948 spoof of the Union's xenophobic and revanchist mentality, featuring popular folk singer "Alabama" Bernie rd as folksy "hillbilly" Billy-Joe Lee going up north to New York City to collect inheritance from a deceased Union uncle. American characters would constantly try to murder him in various slapstick ways, always resulting in hilarity, such as knife-wielding "coward bully-cad and thief" ORRA officer Ted Luther, an obvious parody of Joey Gobells, trying thirty times throughout the course of the movie to stab Lee.

The South did produce pure propaganda films, however, like the Union. The most popular and well-known was the 1953 masterpiece Jack Iron, an obvious parody of Joe Steele. The plot shows him ruling over the fictional North American country of the "Northern Republic." This film was released during the midst of rising tensions in the Cold War, and it featured an ending out-of-character scene with the cast of the film begging "for sanity to return to our Northern neighbor." The film was absolutely loathed by the Union, and reels were bought for Remembrance Day 1953 solely so they could be burned to make a political point.

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Still from Jack Iron (1953)


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A RUMP officer throws Southron books and movie reels into a fire (Remembrance Day, 1953)


OTHER MEDIA:
Comic books took off when Action Pictures created Action Comics in 1949, launching the best-selling Pennsylvania Jack adventure comics. Soon, other characters were created, such as The ManBat, Lone Rider, and the Blue Phantom. In 1951, to peddle even more propaganda to America's youth, Action Comics created Colonel Union, a dashing super-powered "hero" who would fly around and pulverize Inferiors.

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"Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! No! It's Colonel Union! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and seek out treacherous unpatriotic vermin no matter where they hide, Colonel Union fights for truth, justice, and the way of the Party!"
-Introductory panel to Colonel Union Issue #1

Southron comics were not very interested in "super-heroes" at first. Detective comics were far more popular, but the adventures of "Captain Columbia" and "Lady Virginia" did grow a fanbase in the mid-1950s as the Cold War heated up.


 
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