The Diary of Harry Tudor: Prince of Wales

[Kynan]

11th of August, 1546: Today I spent the day in Elizabeth’s rooms as we were fitted for our mourning clothes. While Elizabeth wanted to be alone, I insisted as we were always measured together and I wanted to see her again, properly.

We sat together while lengths of material were shown to us, the long strips of material covering the room in dark greys, blacks and dark browns. When I requested a dark red or dark blue, I was told the King had refused us all but these colours for mourning as the others were not as suitable. So I chose to be dressed in blacks and browns while Elizabeth wore almost exclusively grey.

When the embroidery people came in I told them I wanted mine to be my mother’s symbol of the falcon, to represent her. But then he showed me the example f what father wanted and I decided I wanted that instead. It was mother’s falcon emerging from the Tudor rose. It was truly quite amazing, and I asked if I may have an example of it to put in my rooms, and they said yes.

After that, we were measured and, while Elizabeth was being done I went into her private rooms (with her permission, as it would have been awful not to have her permission and barge in) and looked for a small thing to occupy my time. When I examined the room, however, I found something quite interesting. Her own diary.

It was a little different to this one, blue to my own red, silver and sapphires adorning it as opposed to my gold and rubies, but generally the same type of book. When I opened it, however, there were not the same types of words I had used. Instead, the first thing she had written was a list of people with descriptions next to them. I can remember some of them so I shall write them down.

Papa (King Henry) = Strong, Kind and Powerful. I love him but he is insensitive at my mother’s death.

Mama (Queen Anne) = Beautiful, Stern and Loving. I love her and grieve deeply for her death.

Harry (Prince Henry of Wales) = Sweet, Dim and Naïve. I love him but he is not very smart, I think the country will need much luck when he is King.

Lady Mary = Generous, Sad and Moral. I love her as she is my sister but suspect jealousy and anger in her.

Lady Howard = Nice, Stupid and Loose. I like her when I talk to her but she is not a moral woman.

Those were all I got to read before the knock was on the door and I had to put the book back and finish my fittings. Elizabeth was silent during all this but I kept on talking, hoping for her to crack a smile or at least giggle. All this melancholy will destroy my family if they are not careful.

I ended the day writing in this book and practicing drawing that symbol. I love it so much.

 

[Kynan]

12th of August, 1546: Today I spent time in my lessons, and then had a long conversation with my brother Edward over how we might spend the next period at which we spend at Hatfield. Other than that I did some drawing.

13th of August, 1546: Today I went to see Lady Pole, who has returned to court after hearing of mama’s death. She came to my rooms and asked if I wished to talk about how I was feeling in the aftermath. When I told her that I have not cried much as I know mama is in heaven, she seemed a little shocked and sad, and hugged me very hard.

She then asked me I had any questions about anything, and I remembered that she was alive when my Grandfather the King and Grandmother the Queen were alive, so I asked her what they were like. She told me that wasn’t the type of question she had meant, but I repeated the question and waited for an answer. So she sighed (I don’t know why) and answered the question:

“Your grandmother and I were cousins, and very close when I was younger. Even when she was a princess, she always took time to see me and straighten me out before court appearances when my own mother couldn’t. I remember when I was very little, she sewed me a doll made of offcuts from her own dresses, and I cherished that doll as my favourite toy for years. She was the kindest, sweetest, most giving person I ever met, and I always hoped to be just like her. It didn’t hurt that she was the most gorgeous creature to grace the court. Of course, her own mother was quite lovely, but she didn’t have the glow that Elizabeth had. She looked like she was made of clouds and sunshine.

Now, your grandfather and I, well that was a different story. He was a strong-willed man, with eyes that drilled into your soul. His ambition was outstanding and it won him a kingdom. But he wasn’t the kindest of men. I remember that he didn’t want me at court all the time, and once told me that if I ever turned into a threat he would execute me and my family without hesitation if it meant keeping the kingdom and his rule safe. He was better when his mother wasn’t around, but he was still a ruthless man. A great king, but a ruthless man.”

After this she left to see Elizabeth and I returned to my lessons.

 

[Kynan]

14th of August, 1546: Today Father called all of us in to give us a choice for the next month or so. I was seated in the centre, with Edward and George on one side and Elizabeth holding Cecily while Margaret sitting further along on the other.

When we got there, I was shocked that Father had shaved off his hair and beard, which he had worn all of my life. He looked younger, but still old. His face was thinner than the last time I had seen him, a mere 5 days ago. But his eyes were the scariest part, they were red and wet, like he had not stopped crying since I had last saw him.

But as we sat there, he smiled like he used to for a moment, and repeated the phrase he so loved to say during any of our birthday celebrations:

“My fair and noble brood has grown so fast and yet so strong.”

He then stood and hushed us when we went to stand up as was customary, walking around and taking Elizabeth and I by the hand. He stood there and stared at us with a mixture of sadness and pride, while we waited in awe.

Finally he stooped down and let go of our hand. After a while, I could not take it anymore and spoke up:

“Your Majesty, what reason have you brought us here today?”

Even though I thought I sounded formal and wise, Elizabeth nudged me and I sat straight while Father just smiled and nodded, seeming almost broken. He then seemed to have a moment where his mind was shook and he then he straightened back up and walked to his desk. Finally, we got answers.

“Harry, Edward, Elizabeth and Margaret, I am here to give you a choice. Next week George and Cecily will leave to Hatfield so that they may be attended separately. I am giving you four the choices of these three. One: return to your separate households. Henry would return to Ludlow, Edward to York, Elizabeth to Beaulieu and Margaret to Chelsea. Two: you would all return to Hatfield for a month before returning to your separate households. Finally: you may stay here for your mother’s funeral and then leave for your establishments after. This is your choice, each separately, but you have to be sure.”

Elizabeth was the first to speak up, opting to stay at court to await mama’s funeral. I wasn’t surprised, but I was when Margaret elected to leave for Hatfield. But when I saw her pull Cecily out of Elizabeth’s lap and into her own, I saw how much my baby sister needed her and understood. Then Edward spoke up.

“I’m going to York, but I want to bring Lady Pole.”

This seemed confusing at first, and Father was shocked into silence for a moment before questioning him. He bent down and touched his arm while asking:

“Why do you want to bring Lady Pole, Edward?’’

He stood up and jerked away from Father, seemingly growing tiny for such a tiny boy.

“She is the only one who asked me how I have been feeling. She is the only one who wanted to help me. Everyone else just shuns me as a child and refuses to tell me what’s happening, but Lady Pole explained to me why mama had to die. She gave me the advice to see a priest. I need her to help me understand, because no one else wants to.”

Father got upset and asked:

“But why didn’t you ask me?”

“You’re always busy. The only one you have seen is Harry and Elizabeth, and even then only once. I needed you but you weren’t there.”

Then he stormed out of the room while Father stared sadly at the retreated boy, Still tiny in body yet so mature. Then he turned to me and asked:

“What of you? Do you wish to follow your brother’s example, or one of your sisters?”

I waited for a moment and finally answered:

“I will stay here for the funeral, so that I may pay respects to my mama - Mother- as is correct.”

With that we were all dismissed, and I went to find Edward, who was hiding in the rooms beside mama’s old rooms, where we used to play when mama wanted us near but not in the rooms as ambassadors or the like were there. He was with Lady Pole, who was holding him while he sobbed. At her look, which warned me that this was not a good time to approach him, I left for my rooms and did the only thing that I could. I resumed my studies.

 

[Kynan]

15th of August, 1546: Margaret met me in my rooms today so that we could talk about Edward. She was truly worried for our little brother’s health, as he hasn’t left his rooms all day. We decided that, if he isn’t out by the start of tomorrow, we will go to his rooms and try to convince him to leave so that he can at least mourn with us. I might try and explain the idea of heaven to him again, as he seems to have forgotten how happy mama must be up there. He is only a baby; even if mama made sure he had his own establishment last year.

Other than Margaret’s visit, I sent time with my friends in the gardens, as today the gardeners were planting a bed of roses and we wished to help. It wasn’t as fun as I thought it would be, and I got a cut on my left hand, across the back. That meant I had to have it bandaged and I had to go back to my rooms for the remainder of the day. That wasn’t very fun, but I did it anyway, because if I didn’t I would have to have nothing but fruit and gruel for dinner, as is always m punishment for being naughty.

 

[Kynan]

20th of August, 1546: Sorry for not writing in you for so long diary, I have spent the days trying to coax my brother out of his room with possibilities of candy, sweetmeats, books and games, and Margaret has done likewise but there has been no good out of this, he doesn’t want to leave. Today was the first day we even made it into his chambers, though only into the audience chamber where Lady Pole told us that he is fast on his lessons and does not want to see anyone at this point in time.

We left dejected and decided to play with George and Cecily, but they were already with Catherine Brandon and father’s bastard Lettice Fitzroy, the daughter he had with the widowed Lady Latimer, who had their child in 1542 and dutifully sent the child to be a companion to my sister Princess Anne, who then dies, and then Princess Cecily, who was just born. From what I know, many were shocked at the kindness that my mama displayed with Lady Latimer, who she was a good friend of at the time of Father’s affairs and placed in the royal nursery a Governess to Cecily, who just happened to be the royal that Lettice was attached to. Wasn’t that smart of mama?

Cecily did something naughty, pushing little Catherine Brandon off a horse toy so that she could sit upon it. While Lady Latimer did tell her off (as she should); Margaret and I couldn’t help but giggle at her antics. While George is all sweetness and quiet (to the point where he has to be checked for breathing while asleep), Cecily is large and loud. I will never forget the day when mama brought her to court (at the start of this year actually) and she decided to play a game where she screamed whenever Father talked. While he got angry at first, he realised the game soon enough and began to play with her, making her giggle and run to him.

Other than that, we haven’t really done much over the past few days. Elizabeth has taken over as first lady of court, and has played the part perfectly, of course. Tomorrow we must saw goodbye to Margaret, Edward, Cecily and George as they go off while Elizabeth and I will stay behind to act as mourners during mama’s funeral.

 

[Kynan]

21st of August, 1546: Today we said goodbye to Cecily, Margaret and George as they left for Hatfield. Edward asked that he might have one more day to pack, so Father agreed, if only because he did not want another outburst from the moody Edward. I, due to Father’s absence, played a pivotal role in the ceremony, standing as tall as possible so that I might have seemed more grown than I actually am, having barely turned ten.

Elizabeth did well, with her friend Thomas Stafford, who had charmed my sister last year and had been her favourite since, to mama’s sadness. She envisioned French matches for at least me and Elizabeth, and while I was engaged to the half French Mary Stewart, only daughter of James V and Madeleine de Valois before her death, Elizabeth was currently matchless, though the French King indicated that Charles: Duke of Orleans might be willing if there was a good dowry. I am not meant to know these things yet, but I always manage to be at the right place at the right time when Father and mama or whoever else he is talking to have little, important conversations.

I have attempted to draw Thomas Stafford, as in the future I want to remember what everyone looks like and he might be important later,if only to Elizabeth.

 

[Kynan]

27th of August, 1546: A servant by the name of Agnes cornered me today in a deserted hallway and told me that I seemed a very grown man to her. I was very confused but she pushed me against the wall and actually kissed me, like Father used to kiss mama at some events. Then she pulled away and told me that if I wanted to go further, she was always around the kitchens, and I was welcome to meet her there.

I know that she is older than me (she looked older than Elizabeth) but I also really liked her. And she was right; I do look very grown, if a bit short. But still, it almost seems wrong to follow up on this. I am not sure if I should tell my friend’s Charles and Thomas Howard but I will definitely think of her. Maybe Father can help me.

 

[Kynan]

29th of August, 1546: Today was the day I realised that mama was gone. I haven’t gotten used to seeing her at court (I’ve mostly been at Hatfield and Ludlow) and so I just sort of pretended that she was busy, not gone completely. But today, I saw some servants removing mama’s dresses and furniture from her rooms.

I asked them why, and they said that the rooms were being emptied and refurnished for the arrival of the Dowager Queen of Scots arrival next fortnight. When I asked what was going to be done with all of the items, the man said that he was to move them into the storage rooms.

I ran to make Father stop getting rid of mama’s stuff, all the little items she cherished. But I wasn’t allowed into Father’s rooms as he was ‘busy’. I heard crying from behind the door.

I managed to get a miniature of mama from her rooms, hidden away in the last chest of draws to be moved. I also got a piece of unfinished embroidery, with the Tudor rose surrounded by golden flowers. I’ve hidden them in my rooms so that no one will take them too.

2nd of September, 1546: I haven’t left my rooms in the past four days and Father came today and told me to stop with this nonsense. I will not.

 

[Kynan]

4th of September, 1546: Because of my ‘insolence’, I am not to attend mam’s funeral, but instead will stay to greet the Dowager Queen of Scots and then I will leave for Ludlow. I am so angry that this is going to happen, but I guess Father is the King. If he really wanted to, he might even behead me, like he did to Thomas Howard: Duke of Norfolk after the rebellion that happened a few years back.

I do not want to leave, I want to truly say goodbye to mama; I want to show the people that I really care for her death and do not just see her as just some woman that gave birth to me as the heir. I just want everyone to know I love her.

 

[Kynan]

12th of September, 1546: It is just as I feared; the arrival of Aunt Margaret (as she has told be to call her) has taken over the mourning of mama. She told Father (who she calls Henny for some reason) that mourning will do the court no good and that after the death of her first husband she only waited twenty days before she began to celebrate again.

To make matters worse, she insists that she wants to completely run the court and has said that Elizabeth is ‘too precious’ to do so herself. What that means, I’ll never understand.

She has the most annoying voice too. It’s all high and nasal like Father’s, but with a coarse Scottish accent that makes everything so much worse. It’s like she is almost yelling every word, every:

“Oh Henny dear!”

And she is old. Old and fat. Father may be a bit big, but he has lost weight recently and is a man, so that makes it alright. Aunt Margaret, however, has to move with a stick so that she doesn’t fall over from all the fat pulling her to the ground. Her hair is mostly gone also, she has to wear a wig that sits funny and wobbles when she turns her head.

I will admit that if mama as still here, Aunt Margaret would have been a fun addition into court life. But mama has left for good and I don’t want her memory ruined because this woman won’t sit still and wait for everyone to be ready to party as she wants to. She should respect that we need more time.

 

[Kynan]

14th of September, 1546: The days continue as I get ready to leave the court and Aunt Margaret drives everyone but Elizabeth (who like her for some unknowable reason) crazy. Even though I’ll miss the funeral, I can’t wait to leave now.

 

[chr92]

Thank you. I did enjoy this update. Hope there's more soon.

 

[Kynan]

15th of September, 1546: Father told me that being rude to Aunt Margaret is not allowed, but I don’t care. She is an annoying woman.

17th of September, 1546: I am writing this in the carriage as I’m leaving London and I have to say, I think I like Aunt Margaret now. Earlier this morning, when I was packing this diary away, she came into my room with a gift. I didn’t realise this at first and made an absolute fool of myself:

“Hello Harry!”

“Hello Aunt Margaret, what brings you here?”

“I just wanted to say goodbye privately before you left.”

“Well, goodbye then.”

My cordiality went quickly. I was busy and she was the last person who I wanted to see. I want Father, I wanted Elizabeth, I wanted my mama.

“Pardon?”

“You can go now then.”

“Harry, don’t act like this. I want to be your friend.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have been partying during this time.”

“What?” she exclaimed in confusion.

“Mama died a month ago. Yet you come in and it’s all festivities and new clothes, it isn’t right.”

“Oh Harry, you don’t understand, do you?”

“Understand what?”

“Your mama was a friend of mine. I am going through something very similar to you.”

“How can you? You probably never even met her, you probably never even had a talk with her.”

“We wrote letters to each other, especially after your birth. I was Edward, Anne and Margaret’s godmother, there to see them born. I was the one who sheltered her during the Catholic rebellion those few years ago. She was my friend and my sister Harry.”

We stood there for a bit, waiting for the other to break the silence. Eventually, as the adult, she decided to continue.

“I wanted to give you this. You are leaving today, so I want to give you this gift. It’s a letter that she sent me when you were little. You had drawn her and she wanted me to see your talent in the art. There’s also a miniature of her from when she was younger too, so that you can see her before all of you children were born.”

I am happy she gave me these and I hope that we shall become friends now.

 

[Kynan]

20th of September, 1546: We stopped today and met a few local gentry. One man by the name of Henry Mich gave me a gold plate with pearl and ruby Tudor roses on the edge. I think it was quite beautiful and I gave him my thanks in return.

We had a simple lunch of cheese and bread. I can’t wait to get to Ludlow so that I can have some good food; I really want some ham and maybe a sweetmeat or two.

 

[Kynan]

23rd of September, 1546: Today I saw a cow dying in the pasture. When I asked to stop to help the animal, I was told that there was nothing I could do at this point. The animal was sick and when he died the family who owned him would be compensated by the local lord. I had to read a book to take my mind of the scene.

 

[Kynan]

27th of September, 1546: Today I got to spend some time with a local noble child. George Howard, the youngest child of Lord Edmund, who is the father of Lady Howard. He was quite fun and gave me a wooden sword with red and green paint on it. In return, I gave him a hat and a ball, both with special designs on them.

29th of September, 1546: Nothing happened today. I ate some bread and cheese again.

 

[altwere]

Interesting TL

 

[Kynan]

4th of October, 1546: Today I met with the peasant children to hand out gifts and money. It was a bittersweet experience, as it was something I used to do with mama to show that I was going to be a good king one day. But it is something that anyone in a position of influence should do so I do it.

Other than that, I did some work on my Latin, which is very important as it is a language that all the courts of Europe use (also French). Some of the phrases have been harder to remember than others, but apparently I am a natural with languages, just like Father is.

 

[Kynan]

18th of October, 1546: I am sorry for not writing recently, I was very sick. At the last town we were at, they had very sick looking cows as well, which turned out to have the same disease that the last one had. Needless to say, we tried to leave as soon as possible. But it was late in the afternoon so Lord Arundel had us stay the night at Mr Hirt’s manor on the edge of town.

Well, that was fine until the good man decided to serve us beef stew. He assured us that it was not of diseased stock and of his own private herd. Well, the good man was either lying or as ignorant as my sweet Brother George, because the next day no one but my manservant George Noble and Lord Arundel could even get up for fear of being sick and ruining the ‘most expensive carpets’.

Well, shortly after this sickness struck us, it became apparent that not everyone would make it. I, thankfully, had not eaten as much as anyone else (Lord Arundel mistrusted the food and made me stope midway through the meal and eat nothing but bread and cheese) but many had, so we lost three man and two maids to the sickness that struck.

We are now leaving, as I am finally at ease with my inner working and the nausea of everyone else is low enough to allow us to leave for the next town. I have issued an order (with Lord Arundel’s permission) that we will not eat town food while we are there, but wait until three towns over before we try ‘local delicacies’.

Other than that, I have spent the time stuck in a room without the strength to move (not that I would have been allowed to). I now can tell you how many different bird designs Mr Hirt had put into the royal suite in his manor (the answer is too many).

 

[Kynan]

22nd of October, 1546: Today we gave out more money to the poor and I gave one boy-child a box of sugary balls I had been given earlier in the trip by a kind woman. I had eaten one but they were too chewy for me, but he liked them an awful lot. This town gave me a silver statue of my mama as Hera, the Greek Goddess of Marriage and also a gold plate.