The “Magnificent Age” - Catherine II TL

Surprised we dont have a TL where its just that series but if it happened irl including her looking exactly the same as said actress
Actually, to make TL looking as a popular serial is a terrific idea and I absolutely love it. I don’t want to redo this one and not sure if I’m up to the task of running three TL’s but I’m extremely tempted. Did not watch any of the related crap for quite a while but when it comes to writing gibberish, authenticity is not of a supreme importance. Let me think about it a little bit.
 
2. Coronation and other things
2. Coronation and other things
The wind is howling in the field and a fool is getting rich in his dream.”
Ukrainian proverb
Money, money, money
Always sunny
In the rich man's world
.”
ABBA
Слишком много орлов.” [1]
Joke at the coronation of Catherine II
“Catherine belonged to those spiritual constructions that do not understand what a belief is and why it is needed when there is a consideration.”
“Having conceived the project, she thought more about what would be said about her than about what would come out of the planned business.”

V. Kluchevski, ‘Catherine II’

1707670367488.jpeg

General situation.
From the report sent to Maria Theresa: “Horror and surprise gripped the nobility at the news of the change of power. Most of the nation seemed once and for all not disposed to the foreign origin of the new sovereign.” Taking into an account that at least since the time of Elizabeth the Russian “secret service” was very good in intercepting and decoding the international mail, Catherine most probably was familiar with the content of this report but even without reading it she could not avoid knowing that her position was quite shaky on more than one account:
  • Her foreign origin - Peter III, with all his “Germanishness”, was a grandson of Peter I but she was a 100% German.
  • The 7YW combined with a systematic mismanagement completely destroyed the Russian finances and the soldiers were not receiving salaries for more than a year with the arrears amounting to 15,000,000 rubles.
  • In the state affairs he did not have any reliable political backup:
    • Count Panin was in almost open opposition after she “bypassed” Paul: being his governor, Panin expected to become a true power behind the throne. His reputation of the greatest Russian expert in the foreign affairs made him indispensable so Catherine stuck with him but could not fully trust him. The only thing these two had in common was an idea of a close alliance with Prussia.
    • Hetman K. Razumovsky supported the coup mostly because he, as a honorary lieutenant-colonel of Izmailovsky Guards Regiment, would have to go to war with Denmark and he did not want to: being enormously rich, he was enjoying his life style and had no intention to suffer any war-related inconveniences. “At Razumovsky's kitchen, a whole bull, ten rams, a hundred chickens and other things in the appropriate number were exterminated daily. His main chef was the famous Barido, left in Russia by the Marquis de la Chétardie and considered even higher than Duval himself, the French cook of Frederick II. Razumovsky's servants numbered up to three hundred.” As a compensation for the services granted during the coup he expected that the hetmanship will be made hereditary. Anyway, neither he nor his elder brother Alexey, even if neither was a fool, could be of any serious help in the state affairs even if just because they never were engaged in a state business during the reign of Elizabeth and had no intention to exert themselves.
    • Orlov family got very close to the throne but, even before the coup, Catherine had few illusions about usefulness of Grigory outside the bed and the Guards regiments; within weeks after Peter’s death any doubts on this account disappeared and he started being a burden rather than an asset. Catherine still wanted him as a lover but was he a good ROI? Alexey, seemingly, was a different story in the brains area but he stuck to the family loyalty. The other three brothers were useful mostly in the fistfight. All of them expected enormous rewards and they were not alone in these expectations. Catherine’s personal problem was that she became emotionally quite attached to Grigory and her calculating brain had difficulties in overcoming other parts of her anatomy (just in case, of course I’m talking exclusively about her heart 😜) even when Grigory started behaving increasingly obnoxiously not in private but in public as well.
Situation was “catastrophic but not serious” [2]:

Being foreign. Even during the time of Elizabeth Catherine had been diligently working upon image of “being more Russian than the Russians” starting from the public display of her newly acquired Orthodoxy and all the way to learning the Russian. An issue of her accent [3] was a debatable but as far as the writing was concerned, she was helped by two things:
  • Good secretary.
  • Absence of a coherent Russian grammar, which allowed her to make 4 mistakes in 3 letter word without becoming a laughingstock [4].
Official coronation, being something of a sacral ceremony, would fully legitimize her and after this the task will be just stick to the image pushing her Russishness down everybody’s throats.

Russian finances were such an area that to call it “grey” would sound as an unhealthy optimism. To start with, nobody could tell for sure what was the state income because so far attempts of the previous reigns to create a functional structure of the collection and accounting had been failing. It was, more or less, known how much state is spending but an additional beauty of the situation was the fact that in an absence of formal budget it was totally at the ruler’s whim to move money from one category to another or to make more copper money.

In a much advertised move Catherine “found” the needed amount in the “cabinet money” and distributed them to the troops. Of course, this act of a “generosity” [5] produced a lot of praise and greatly increased a number of the bayonets on which she was now sitting.

The bad part was that something had to be done, and fast, to put the finances into at least some semblance of an order and nobody could tell for sure how to perform such a miracle. Especially if the task involved increase of the state revenues without completely destroying the already impoverished peasants and alienating nobility.

The safest course of actions was to announce a return to the fiscal administrative structure created by Peter (three “collegiums” dealing with the finances) because with reference to the Great One you simply can’t miss (and, of course, nobody would dare to remind that Peter run Russian economy to the ground and immediately after his death his taxation system had to be abolished). How things will be done in a reality is a completely different issue but reputation of someone dutifully following the Peter’s course was a great PR. Actually, wouldn’t it be a great idea to say something along the lines that before starting with something new, she is always ordering to check if Peter planning to do it and always find that he did? This would not even be a lie: during his reign Peter issued enormous number of all types of instructions (all the way to the fashion of the trousers and the useful instructions about finding a toilet when you came to visit someone) so it would be physically impossible to prove that he did miss something.


“Asset”. Actually, as far as the advisory assets were involved, there was one readily available. Peter III released, among others, Fieldmarshal Munnich and made him a member of the Imperial council. Allegedly, during the coup he gave Peter reasonable advice to flee to Revel and join Rumyantsev’s army, which advice Peter did not follow. After the coup he swore loyalty to Catherine. Fieldmarshal was 78 years old but still quite active and there was no doubt in his vast experience in the state and military affairs.

Catherine dissolved Peter’s Imperial Council … and replaced it with Council of the Imperial Court [6] of which Munnich became a member. She also found him quite useful in getting advices on various “unofficial” issues. [7] At last she found a loyal person who also was quite intelligent and experienced. Advices of the old fieldmarshal tended to be on a decisive side and Catherine started feeing herself more sure in what began to shape in her mind as a future course of actions.

Preparing to coronation was not an easy task. The ceremony had to be impressive, well-organized and, most important, promoting Catherine’s image as “Mother of the country”. Ceremonial robes already were mentioned but the most important item was a crown. So far, each ruler had her or his coronation crown and these first imperial crowns, as well as the royal crowns, were also treated pragmatically - after the coronation they were taken apart and the jewels that decorated them were used for various other purposes (only one or two survived). But Catherine decided to get one which would last to be used by her successors.

The great imperial crown for the sacred coronation of Empress Catherine II, was made by the court jeweler Jerome Pozier. According to his memoirs, Ekaterina instructed the chamberlain Betsky to break outdated jewelry and use stones on a new crown. Pozier selected everything that could be useful for the crown - the largest stones, diamond and colored, "which was the richest thing that is available in Europe." In addition to the stones, 1 pound of gold and 20 pounds of silver were released to make the crown. As a result, despite the jeweler's efforts to make the crown light, it turned out to be "five pounds of weight". What the work of the crown cost, not counting the stones that were state property, is unknown. But the book "Diamond Fund" reports that the total bill of Posier for the work related to the coronation was 50,000 rubles, which was equal to the total amount released for the coronation as a whole.

The crown has 37 very fine, large, white pearls, nineteen diamonds, all averaging over 5 carats (1.0 g) in weight, the largest being the large Indian pear-shaped stone of 12⅝ cts in front, set between two bands of diamonds above and below, numerous small diamonds. At the center and apex of the central arch is a diamond rosette of twelve petals from which rises a large red spinel, weighing 398.72 carats. This spinel, in turn, is surmounted by a cross of five diamonds. In total, the crown has 4936 diamonds.

1707680308248.jpeg



_______
[1] “Too many eagles” - the coronation robe of CII was embroidered with the imperial eagles (172 total) and at the ceremony she was surrounded by Orlov brother («Орлов» is derived from «орел», “the eagle”).
[2] Definition coined by the A-H military during WWI.
[3] Obviously, the contemporaries had been praising her Russian but those who were at court had to and those who were not at court would not know one way or another.
[4] It was quite normal to write the words based on how they are sound so instead of «еще» she was writing «исчо».
[5] It seems, unless CII invented some gimmick, that during the 7YW Elizabeth was hoarding money, including war subsidies from the Hapsburgs, considering them as her personal cash.
[6] In OTL created only in 1768. Initially, to deal with the issues related to the Ottoman War, but kept functioning all the way to 1801. ITTL CII is faster at figuring out a need for a permanent advisory institution.
[7] In OTL he was used mostly in his capacity of an engineer overseeing construction works at Kronstadt, Revel and Rågervik ports and Ladoga Canal.
 
Subscribed, obviously. Just staying out of Poland (except for some border adjustments as needed) and the Caucuses would already set such a high standard of competent government as to make CII a shiny beacon to all future Russian rulers. Also, I am guessing that AI's brother won't be named Constantine ITTL.
 
Subscribed, obviously. Just staying out of Poland (except for some border adjustments as needed) and the Caucuses would already set such a high standard of competent government as to make CII a shiny beacon to all future Russian rulers. Also, I am guessing that AI's brother won't be named Constantine ITTL.
Going after the right part of Poland (Right Bank Ukraine) in a rational way would be meaningful economically and strategically. Staying on the Kuban - Terek line would be enough for many decades, etc.
 
Subscribed, obviously. Just staying out of Poland (except for some border adjustments as needed) and the Caucuses would already set such a high standard of competent government as to make CII a shiny beacon to all future Russian rulers. Also, I am guessing that AI's brother won't be named Constantine ITTL.
Staying out of the Causcuses would mean staying out of Azerbaijan, and that would be a pretty huge blow to the amount of Oil, and money Russia would be able to gather.
 
Staying out of the Causcuses would mean staying out of Azerbaijan, and that would be a pretty huge blow to the amount of Oil, and money Russia would be able to gather.
Baku oil became a factor only by the end of the XIX century and we are still in mid XVIII. Besides, “staying out of the Caucasus” does not necessarily mean staying out of all of it. See TL “Peter goes South” for some of the options. 😉
 
I just found this TL's theme music!
Yes, this one is famous. So famous that Saltykov-Schedrin in one of his stories described it as the only “science” taught to the Russian nobility. But let’s not get too much ahead of time: it was composed in 1791 and in 1762 Gavriil Romanovich Derzhavin is an youngster 19 years old with no reputation. At best, I can move it few years ahead of schedule but not three decades and it requires a major victory and, to be accurate, Sultan Selim and Russian advance to the Danube. So you have to wait. 😉
 
Last edited:
Im not sure, there's no pictures of Catherine wearing a bikini
Fundamental change in the fashions belongs to the planned TL which you inspired but to start it I have to subject myself to a masochistic procedure of watching big parts of at least two serials …. eeek.
 
Fundamental change in the fashions belongs to the planned TL which you inspired but to start it I have to subject myself to a masochistic procedure of watching big parts of at least two serials …. eeek.
Im so sorry
Hopefully the "research" will be worth it
 
Fundamental change in the fashions belongs to the planned TL which you inspired but to start it I have to subject myself to a masochistic procedure of watching big parts of at least two serials …. eeek.
Ah. Nice. Knowing how to do well means knowing how to do things wrong!
 
3. Coronation (cont)
3. Coronation (cont)
“That's the day created by the Lord! Let's rejoice and be happy!”
A. Sumarokov, Speech on accession of Catherine II on the throne
Flattery is like a weapon painted in the picture: it is pleasant, but there is no benefit.
Pythagoras
We always like flattering when it comes to the qualities we lack. Tell the fool that he is very smart and the rogue that he is the most honest person in the world, and they will embrace you.”
H. Fielding
“Human ingratitude knows no boundaries”.
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
“Any undertaking is always divided into four stages: the first is intimidation; the second is entanglement; the third is the punishment of the innocent; the fourth is the rewarding of the uninvolved.”
general principle of management​


1707931313743.jpeg

Intermission. For those who interested in the “historical specifics”, I just found a price tag for what will become in the future the Great Imperial Crown. Cost of the precious stones in it amounted to 2,000,000 rubles. Of course, pretty much all of them already had been available but, to get an idea what this meant, in 1767 all expenses on the army amounted to 9,800,000 rubles and those on the Imperial Court - 2,600,000.

On September 13, 1762, the solemn entry of the sovereign into Moscow took place under the ringing of bells and the roar of cannons. The streets of Moscow were decorated with garlands, hung carpets and tapestries, thick greens of fir trees and many flowers. All the ladies were instructed to come to the coronation in the "rombronds of color", and the Knights of the Orders of St. Andrew the First-Called and St. Alexander Nevsky - in the Order's attire. Against their background, the empress's outfit looked particularly impressive, truly creating a triumphant image of imperial power.
On September 22, at about ten o'clock in the morning, to the sounds of trumpets and timpani, the solemn procession moved to the Assumption Cathedral. The Empress at this time was in her inner palace and was preparing for the sacraments: chrismation and communion. From the inner chambers, the empress went to the audience chamber, where there were regalia prepared in advance. After the usual sprinkling of the royal way with holy water, the procession from the Red Porch to the Assumption Cathedral began. The Empress was walking under a canopy, in a brocade dress decorated with a gold posement and embroidered double-headed eagles.
More than twenty bishops and forty archimandrites and other clerics, headed by Archbishop Demetrius of Novgorod, met Catherine at the door of the cathedral. In the prece of all the clergy, Catherine Alekseevna went to the royal gate, where she kissed the holy icons, and then ascended the throne and sat on the imperial throne prepared for her. Wearing a porphyry and the Order of St. Andrew the First-Called, she laid the crown on herself. At this time, a volley of cannons was hit on Red Square. Then there were congratulations from the subjects, and Archbishop Demetrius of Novgorod from the entire Russian Fatherland addressed the Imperial Majesty with a congratulatory speech, after which he also performed the rite of anointing over Catherine. Then Catherine went to the throne through the Royal Gate and there she joined the Holy Mysteries in the royal rank.”

Then the whole procession led by the Empress went to the Archangel and Annunciation Cathedrals for the usual ritual of bowing to the most famous icons and relics (all this with a heavy coronation garb) and returned to the palace. On the way the assembled troops and enthusiastic crowd was shouting “hurrah!” and making other appropriate noises [1]. Enthusiasm was definitely stimulated by the fact that the gold and silver coins had been thrown into the crowd [2]. After finishing this part of a ceremony Catherine returned to the palace and the “interesting part” began.

The awards.
In the audience hall, the empress declared favors mainly to the persons who showed their devotion to her when ascending the throne, as well as to those who distinguished themselves by bravery during the former Prussian War. This was followed by a gala dinner in the Faceted Chamber in honor of the Holy Coronation of Empress Catherine II.

“Award in Literature”.
A person who at the time was passing for the Russian leading literater, A. Sumarokov, wrote a panegyric dedicated to Catherine’s accession, predicting that from this day a golden age of the Russian history will begin and explaining why the Neva is more blessed than a Nile: the Nile is bringing prosperity to Egypt only when it is flooding and not even always at that time while the Neva, and with it the whole empire are benefitting around the clock because due to the wisdom of the Empress the happiness is being spread all over the empire on a daily basis. How did he knew that, taking into an account that Catherine did not start ruling yet, nobody could tell for sure but how can you argue against “This day is foundation of our happiness. This day Catherine the Wise accessed the throne raising with her the truth and all virtues; and with them our happiness… This day is great because Catherine is great by her virtues and deeds [3] … our empress is famous not by having some specific virtue but by having all of them. Human abilities are simply inadequate for giving an adequate praise to her ….

Catherine was definitely pleased: Sumarokov’s debts had been paid off, he got a permission to publish all his works at the expense of Her Majesty’s Cabinet and was promoted to the rank of state councilor.

Intermission. Getting ahead of time (not sure that I’ll mention him in a future), the received honors got into his head. He tried to get into the politics and some of his works had been forbidden. In 1764, he planned to make a great European trip to Italy, France and Holland, mainly to get acquainted with the theatrical life of these countries; but he never received permission to leave. One of the most important reasons was the inconsistent amount for the trip - 12,000 rubles, which he requested from the treasury, with his inherent self-esteem stating that they would fully pay off after the publication of his travel notes.
In 1767, Sumarokov received the "Nakaz of Catherine II" for the review, and the comments he made caused the following reaction of the Empress:

"Mr. Sumarokov is a good poet, but too soon thinks to be a good legislator; he has no connection in his thoughts, to criticize the whole chain, and for that he is tied to the appearance of the links that make up the chain, and finds that there are mistakes here or there, which vices he would have left if he understood the connection."​
From this point his fortunes slowly but steadily were going down. He died in 1777 in extreme poverty. The morale, if any is needed, if you started kissing the butt, keep doing it because stopping may be unhealthy.

Prussian War.
  • Fieldmarshal Saltykov - victor at Palzig and Kunersdorf; got sword with the diamonds, made a Senator, adjutant-general and appointed commander-in-chief (governor-general) of Moscow.
  • Fieldmarshal Buturlin - the last Russian commander in the 7YW; his only contribution to the war was an adamant refusal to participate in it: held his army in the PLC ignoring all orders of Elizabeth; got an official document listing his services and awards (very valuable award) and sword with the diamonds.
  • General Prince Golitsyn - the main achievements were (a) being present at the battle of Zorndorf in retinue of general Fermor (Russian commander later accused of a lousy leadership in that battle; otherwise very good and generally liked subordinate commander), (b) at Kunersdorf commanded Russian left flank, which was smashed by the Prussians (somewhere in a process Golitsyn was wounded and left the battlefield). Got Order of St. Andrew, appointed adjutant-general and a member of the Imperial Council, allowed free access to the imperial residence.
Out of the list above, Saltykov was too old and ill for an active military service, Buturlin was known for absence of any military interests and Golitsyn an amicable person with quite modest military skills, which he did not even had a chance to demonstrate. However, all three of them belonged to the top level of the Russian aristocracy.

And Rumyantsev got …. big fat nothing (of course, he already the highest Russian reward, order of St. Andrew, from Peter III). Catherine could not forgive him that he swore loyalty to her only after receiving reliable news of Peter’s death. He asked for a retirement but Catherine sent him a flattering letter in which she refused to accept his resignation. Liking him or not, she understood his potential usefulness. However, for realization of his potential some serious administrative actions had to be taken and she had to place her imperial posteriors on the throne more comfortably to conduct them.

[Treatment of the “eagles” of the coup deserve a separate a separate chapter.]

At midnight, Catherine incognito went down to Red Square to admire the illumination, and, according to her letter to Count von Keyserling, "the people recognized her and greeted her with a loud "hurrah" until she left for the inner rooms." This time the holiday for the people was arranged not only on Cathedral Square, but also on Red Square. The coronation celebrations lasted seven days. On the first day, fountains of white and red wine beat for three hours, the people were treated to fried meat for free, and the coins were thrown at the crowd. The same thing happened on the seventh day of the celebrations, then replacing the official celebration with a "private celebration" in the houses of the Moscow nobility.
1707952260824.jpeg

____________
[1] This is all nice and fine in an official report but I wonder if there was some “filtration” procedure for letting people into the Kremlin? To start with, the area on which the whole performance took place is not too big, especially if you allocate space for the troops and passage of the procession so there had to be some control of the numbers. Then, the crowd had, of course, represent all classes of the happy subjects but these subjects, even from the lower classes, had to be decently dressed (no rags, dirt, etc.). Third, there had to be some control of the behavior - shouting “hurrah!” was OK but the attempts to deliver a petition and other untoward activities had to be stopped before they even happen. Who were doing all these things? I’m not sure that the effective police in a modern meaning even existed in Moscow of that time. Were the Guards in charge of these functions?
[2] We are back to [1] and even more so. The main coin at that time were coppers and the coins mentioned were most probably special “coronation money” minted for the occasion. Try to figure out behavior of a crowd into which the gold and silver had been thrown. Without a strong crowd control there would be a bloody (literary) mess.
[3] Of course, somebody with a cynical mindset could object that in the virtues area she already had one (by some sources more) children out of a wedlock and that so far the only deed in her credit was participation in a plot against her own husband, which (at least at the time in question) did not produce any practical results. But such a cynical person had no place in the new blessed and flourishing Russia because one of her first actions was to restore certain state institution which her husband foolishly abolished (you know, the dedicated public servants who were working around the clock ensuring happiness of the citizens by all necessary means and instruments).
 
Top