Hitler while tripping acid
"DON'T WORRY MY GAMBIAN BROTHERS I WILL SAVE YOU"-Stephen Colbert
Explain the AH Quote
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Hitler while tripping acid
"DON'T WORRY MY GAMBIAN BROTHERS I WILL SAVE YOU"-Stephen Colbert
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Baltic Roman explorer Heraclius, remarking on the warhorse, Britanicos, of Queen Boudicca, who was leading an army of Iceni cavalry. Queen Boudicca's rebellion established a new empire in Britain opposed to the Roman Republic. However some Romans like Heraclius flocked to the new realm.
"WEST GERMANY HAS A NUCLEAR PROGRAM. WHO CAN STOP ADENAUER NOW?" - Konrad Adenauer
Adenauer's last words
"The votes are in, and Stephen Colbert has been elected President of Gambia"
An infamous, controversial quote where Adenauer joked about a nuclear program for West Germany. Turns out they actually attempted this but got told by Washington.
Quote from a Lithuanian ultranationalist newspaper.
"I converted to their faith, so they gave me a throne" — Batu Khan
Batu Khan's remark upon being raised by European powers to the thrown of China in 1866. His reign would last two decades, through which China would closely ally itself with the United States due to its Open Door policy in China.
"I watched a trio of thieves set fire to a cathedral just the other night! Is there any respect left for culture in this world? Are not even architectural marvels from 856 safe anymore? God, I need a drink...
Or I would, but they burned the bar down too."
A quote by Philip IV of France to one of his aides in the early months of 1350. The Black Death had lead to a breakdown of civil order in France and almost ended the French monarchy. While it is not known which church exactly Philip IV was mentioning many theories have been raised.
"I am the wrath of God and I will make you damn dirty apes pay for what you did!"
The Anti-Pope Dick Cheney (Who naturally referred to himself as Romanus I) upon having obtained a stolen atomic bomb.
There was an attempt to move the bomb to Mecca, but it was fortunately halted and detonated by its carriers in a panic in the middle of the Arabian desert.
"The Emperor and Chancellor are dead. All the Generals and people of even nominal political importance are either dead or have surrendered. Know now that I intend to do the same. I know that most of you simply want to go home. I know that some of you want to fight on. I don't care either way anymore. Go now, and die in a manner you find acceptable."
Uttered by Archduchess Karla von Habsburg in her radio address to the Austro-Hungarian Empire in the last weeks of the Third Great War in which the Empire was falling to the Fasces Alliance, but Emperor Joseph-Maximilian's government continued to resist all attempts to negotiate a surrender despite obviously being on the losing side of the conflict. The Emperor's 'old maid' sister felt forced to take matters into her own hands by assisting a group of would-be Anarchist terrorists into setting off explosives in the Emperor's private chateau where he was holding a secret meeting with the key members of the Austro-Hungarian government and military. The Great Massacre resulted in the House of Habsburg being gutted, the monarchy falling on 15 year old Prince Leopold von Habsburg (the son of the 5th brother of Joseph-Maximilian), even as his aunt committed suicide by dousing herself in kerosene and lighting a match. The Austro-Hungarian Empire fell to the occupation of the Fascists and Emperor Leopold became a puppet until the Empire was liberated by the Grand Alliance, then led by France and Spain, Leopold's brief reign ended with abdication and retreat to a monastery and he was replaced by his 8 year old brother Konrad von Habsburg, the Emperor Konrad of the Austro-Hungarian Empire.
"I have exposed the deceptive and lying nature of the so-called Republican-Democratic Party in the Senate here today. Once more they publicly refuse to support their own stated policy positions in this august body when presented to them as a completed bill. They are morally bankrupt, their role in politics has come to an absolute end, they have nothing more to offer. Out with you! Out with the lot of you I say! Go into the garbage bin of history where you belong. The future belongs to me and mine compatriots! Glory to the Union of American States!" - Emma Goldman
Said by Goldman in a speech in Washington DC to her American Peoples Party. It had taken the nation by storm with its populist message and swiftly became the largest party in Congress, securing the House and the Senate. However the Democrats and the Republicans, seeing the threat such a party would pose to the status quo, banded together and managed keep the White House under their control. Several lame-duck presidencies followed in quick succession before finally there was a complete breakdown of order in the Capitol. Congress then, in a surprise move that shocked the elite and pushed the common people into a frenzy of glee, declared the USA a dead state. It replaced it with the UAS, a confederation-like government with a new constitution that resembled the Articles of Confederation. This lead to the devastating Second Civil War that lasted for 30 years between 1938 and 1968.
"So this is how Liberty dies. With thunderous applause." - Abraham Lincoln
In his speech of surrender and thus resignation after the Confederate States of America, now considered miraculously, took over Washington D.C.
Some make deserters and a divided legislature in Ohio and Indiana and Illinois responsible for this wank, which even gained the CSA a "Little Egypt" and an outlet to Lake Erie.
However, the CSA would not prove too stable. Rebellions and non-conformism of states (up to and including Arkansas once and Kentucky twice seceding over debates whether to invade a weak Mexico respectively over how to deal with proto-Marxist rebels in Alabama, Mississippi and Georgia. The proto-Marxists could, in 1895, no longer be crushed and stormed Richmond in the great March of Blood culminating on September 4, 1895. President Braxton Bragg - here surviving due to less stress due to fewer quarrels and changes of occupation - was executed as a "traitor to the workers and peasants". The USA managed to take back Maryland, North Virginia, and DC, as well as Delaware, but not much more.
However, the new Workers' Union didn't last too long, either. At least not in its united form. Texas seceded and was allowed to do so under condition of independence in 1898, Florida following in 1899 and supporting Spain against the USA in the *Spanish-American War. Nevertheless, the USA won.
But in the deep South, there still was that concerning red nation! It did grow much less concerning when the red leaders proved non-belligerent towards Philadelphia, and after a failed attempt at Tennessee secession in 1905-6 (TN proved not viable as a neutral nation), stability returned to Biloxi. Although the WU didn't really join the Spanish-American War, it could regain the Florida Panhandle with the rest of Florida ending up independent, neutral, and a tax haven.
Liberty is not at all dead in the Americas as afterwards, the Workers' Party began to rise in the North as well. Although it didn't get a POTUS for a long time, this was a new force to be reckoned with. Europeans were killing each other again by 1906, and as a Second Paris Commune uprising rocked the French capital in 1912, support came from Biloxi. The rioters and then revolutionaries managed to turn everything from Gijon to Köln and from Nice to Brest red, and so, the age of Socialism (not full communism here!) began....
"Make Climate Change Great Again!"
President Lyndon LaRouche's fifth term included a concerted effort to increase American CO2 emissions in order to open Alaska to colonization. Though popular in the coal- and oil-extracting states, this policy was excised from the Party's official platform in 1997 following LaRouche's unfortunate stroke. It was quietly replaced with a fusion-powered geoengineering scheme.
"The most revolutionary act possible is celibacy."
Deleted member 97083
After the Soviet conquest of Italy, the Catholic Church survived, but had to bend to Soviet demands on doctrine and language, praising the revolution, and so on. Speaking to other Catholic clerics, Pope Francis II (born Stanislaw Poniatowski) said this about clerical celibacy.
"The United States of the Thirteen Colonies of Columbia? What an unwieldy name. We should just call it... Fredonia!" - Benjamin Franklin
Benjamin Franklin while campaigning for Presidency. Likely this cost him the election. In turn the thirteen colonies sled into civil war in the nex year, resulting in a split into the Nations of New England, the United Confederation and the Empire of Greater Carolina. New England and the United States of Canada merged after the formers defeat by the Republic of Mexico.
"We need a fleet. Especially we need a fleet big enough so that any other nation will not dare to attack us. And no one will dare to deny us our place among the leading nations of the world."
Senior Consul of the Republic of the East Indies Crisostomo Sendrijas in his 1867 "Blood and Iron" speech, in which he proposed a conquest of the remnants of the Dutch East Indies and a plan of industrialization to establish the Republic as a great power.
"Only God knows."
Prime Minister Clement Attlee on the sudden and mysterious disappearance of Blackpool, the first in a line of so called "ISOT" events.
"That's nobody's business but the Turks."
Deleted member 97083
When the famous neo-impressionist artist, Baron Roman von Ungern Sternberg, asked Governor Vladimir Kamazarov of Suleimangrad why the Soviet city of Azov was renamed "Suleimangrad" by secretary premier Osman Osmanovich Gul, Kamazarov replied "That's nobody's business but the Turks". The Turkish SSR due to its service in the wars against the capitalists was granted new land by Moscow, ceding land from the hated Ukraine-Cossack SSR. Azov was therefore renamed after the greatest communist leader of the former Turkish Union.
"Constantinople is merely a bridge between the western and eastern parts of the Empire, not a center of its own."
Candidate of the SPD, Martin Schulz, on March 13 in an infamous speech about whether Turkish polticians are allowed to speak in German towns and cities, which is and will be a hotly debated topic. Some political pundits suspect - later in september - that this cost Schulz the chancellorship.
"Kill me! Relieve me of this!"
Quotes by Flavius III of the Eastern Roman Empire. In 343, the Roman Empire was partitioned into three by the dying (and possibly senile) Emperor Claudio V; the Western Empire of Iberia, Gaul, Britain and Italy, the Central Empire of the Balkans and North Africa and the Eastern Empire of Anatolia, Syria, Judea and Egypt. Claudio's official reason for doing so was that none of his three sons would have ever been considered fully legitimate by the Senate; The Central Emperor Constantine was too young (as well as being adopted), the Western Emperor Tychus was a bastard son of a barbarian mistress, and Flavius was considered too sickly to become Emperor. Flavius and Tychus quickly conspired to carve up Constantine's territory, invading in 346. Their fragile coalition collapsed by 348, and soon all three Romes were openly at war with each other. Two years later, the Sassanid Persians invaded Flavius's territory, overrunning Judea and Syria. Egypt was lost to Constantine in 353, leaving Anatolia as Flavius's last scrap of territory, slowly being wittled down by the surrounding enemies. In 357, the Armenians joined the fray, hacking off eastern Anatolia. Five years later, after nearly a decade-and-a-half of non-stop defeats, Flavius screamed the second quote to his son Jerome in the midst of a full-scale mental breakdown. Jerome had his father placed into 'protective custody' and took over the remains of the Empire, now reduced to the western coast of Anatolia, Cyprus, Crete and Rhodes. Jerome would see the empire become of Vassal of Constantine's Central Empire, which had by now consumed southern Iberia, the Balerics and Sicily.
"Tear it all down, brick by brick! Then torch the ruins! Destroy every single idol, every last monument to their heathen gods! Show these Greek bastards how far above Zeus, Athena and the rest of their shapeshifting rapists that YHWH is!"
-Judas Maccabeus, c.80 BC, about the city of Athens.
The grandson of Judas Maccabeus, I shall call him Judas Maccabeus Jr.
The Maccabean revolt had been successful, so successful that - by making the Jewish state bereft of foreign policy freedom and subjugating it to the Parthians - the Jews could conquer, war after war, Syria and then Asia. And in 80 BC, Judas Maccabeus Jr. rallied his people with these words in a fiery speech to march on Athens!
The conquest of Greece was successful, too, and by 71 BC, Italy was threatened. And then, the Quintus Uprising came in 69 BC. Maccabea(?) helped the proto-reds, Italy indeed became a Quintist (proto-communist) "dictatorship of the proletariat" and the Roman Empire was no more. Gaul had not been conquered yet, so all that was left was Africa and Hispania. This small empire should rule for a further 1200 years over Morocco, Algeria, and Tunisia, and even expand to the south somewhat - subjugating Berber and later even Tamazight tribes - but a true Roman Empire was never to arise again. And the dictatorship of the proletariat would soon enough - by approx. 100 AD - become a viable and by 300 AD a common - form of government!