Cracked does Alternate History

[Snowman23]

http://www.cracked.com/article/18360_6-assassination-attempts-that-almost-f2340ked-world/

So, I'm reading this article, which is a writer talking about assassination attempts that's would have fucked the world, as the writer puts in, and I want to see what you all think.

It seems to me the Lenin one and the FDR are shit, but the Hirohito one is plausible. The last three I don't know enough about though to make an opinion on.

So, what do you all think?

 

[wormyguy]

I can barely withstand the urge to scream ASB!!!!@!@!1!at all but the Hirohito, Fawkes, and Washington ones. Good God, it merely demonstrates how little the average American (the author) knows about history. Spain annexing England? Seriously? I won't even start on the others, for fear of my blood pressure.

(Also, the Voltaire quote in your sig is not an actual Voltaire quote).

 

[Snowman23]

I can barely withstand the urge to scream ASB!!!!@!@!1!at all but the Hirohito, Fawkes, and Washington ones. Good God, it merely demonstrates how little the average American (the author) knows about history. Spain annexing England? Seriously? I won't even start on the others, for fear of my blood pressure.

(Also, the Voltaire quote in your sig is not an actual Voltaire quote).

Really? Who is it then?

And yeah, I thought so. The only one that really seemed major to me was Hirohito.

 

[RogueBeaver]

It must be satire, because that's a wheelbarrow full of Bravo Sierra.

 

[wormyguy]

Really? Who is it then?

Evelyn Beatrice Hall, in 1906. It was, in her opinion, a one-sentence summary of Voltaire's philosophy. A similar quote that's actually from Voltaire is this, from a letter to one Monsieur le Riche in 1770: "Monsieur l'abbé, I detest what you write, but I would give my life to make it possible for you to continue to write."

 

[Snowman23]

Evelyn Beatrice Hall, in 1906. It was, in her opinion, a one-sentence summary of Voltaire's philosophy. A similar quote that's actually from Voltaire is this, from a letter to one Monsieur le Riche in 1770: "Monsieur l'abbé, I detest what you write, but I would give my life to make it possible for you to continue to write."

Thank you, you learn something new everyday.

 

[Geekhis Khan]

You thinks that's bad, check out the "6 random events that created the modern world" link after this one!

Still, for a website built on cleavage pics and masturbation jokes these showed at least SOME interest in history.

 

[Tyr]

Where'd all the other replies go??

 

[Emperor Norton I]

In our anal retentive nature, we may dispel a lot of that stuff, but it does have some sembelence of reality.

The Japanese one irks me as much as always for the reliance on the "We the Yellow Terror! You die now GI!" stereotype. The Japanese lacked supplies and any remaining organization to put up a defense against invasion and the population was losing morale and faith rather quickly. Frankly, if the government didn't surrender, you could well have seen a mass rebellion against the regime from a starving and weary population (note this is not rebellion against the emperor but the government under him and the Japanese had done it before.) Similarly, the millions casualties estimate has been shown to be way overblown. The likely out come I'd see would be an initial invasion of limited casualties and relatively quick victory, followed by the consequences of the aftermath of that previously mentioned rebellion, loss of faith in the emperor, perhaps a many years long occupation to deal with an insurgency (albeit one that would be limited to the die hards and taking into account lack of supplies and organization), a division of Japan between the allies and USSR, etc.

 

[Geekhis Khan]

Good point, Your Imperial Majesty.

I'm also glad I wasn't the only one who noted some not-too-subtle racism in some of that stuff. They never came out and said "OMG! Muzlums R teh evols!!" in that second one I mentioned, but it was implied pretty strongly.