AHC: Make Terrible Games Good!

Discussion in 'Alternate History Discussion: After 1900' started by Romantic Nihilist, Jan 30, 2013.

  1. Romantic Nihilist Amateur Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2012
    Location:
    Brahms
    Think of some of the worst games you've ever played. Don't go by critical or commercial success; pick a game that you personally find terrible and make it good.

    I'll begin:

    Sonic The Hedgehog (2006)


    • Actually test run the game!
    • Get rid of the pointless side characters
    • No humans except Robotnik (Eggman.. whatever) NO EXCEPTIONS!!!
    • Make it closer to the 2D roots
    • Actually test each facet of the game for glitches, quirks and anything that makes it unplayable
    The butterflies from this game becoming a success may colonise Antarctica :cool:
     
  2. Pellegrino Well-Known Member

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    Apr 18, 2010
    Location:
    United States
    E.T. for Atari was the worst game of all time. Although all Atari games were limited by technology that didn't mean they automatically sucked (Combat was actually kind of fun). But E.T. simply made no sence at all. I would make it a cheap Pac Man rip off. E.T. is in the maze eating Reese's Pieces while being chased by random people instead of ghost. The power up ball doesn't do anything to the "ghost" but allows E.T. to fly on the bicyle to the next level or somehting like that. It would be a rip off, sure. But it would at least be a decent game by early 80s standards.
     
  3. Mister Abbadon Well-Known Member

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    the abyss
    Thor: you know the tragedy is that a game based off of Thor sounds pretty Kick ass. I gues the only thing that can be done is for it not to be a liscenced game and give it time to be developed.
     
  4. Romantic Nihilist Amateur Screenwriter

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    Oct 14, 2012
    Location:
    Brahms
    Duke Nukem Forever

    The thing is, I love the DN games and it pains me that DNF had so many flaws. Because the worst part of DNF? Beneath all the fuck ups and whatnot lies a decent game.


    • Get rid of the pointless loading screens from every time you die
    • Auto-aim wouldn't go amiss
    • Change the jumping animation
    • The parts of the game when DN gets shrunk? Scrap it all together. Apart from the racing in the toy car :D
    • Also, the difficulty against some of the bosses leaves no margin for error... this HAS to be altered
    In my opinion, the game would be kickass if those changes were implemented... I like the old school humour and style of Duke Nukem. Especially compared to the new shit.
     
  5. Andrew T Kick 'em when they're up!

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    Maryland
    Seriously -- and forgive the plug -- check out Dirty Laundry; this is one of the major early impacts of the POD. :D
     
  6. Romantic Nihilist Amateur Screenwriter

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    Damn you Mr Laundry :rolleyes: I'd be mad but I already subbed beforehand :D
     
  7. Alex1guy First Of His Name

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    The New Zealand Empire
    Amy. Make the engine function and that doesn't have lifts with controls across the room and you might have a game that would be interesting.
     
  8. elyski Version 2.0

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2011
    Location:
    Middle Earth.
    Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor


    I am a fan of the Steel Battalion series, you can imagine my horror (if you have experienced the game) I found playing through the first few levels. However I have a couple ideas to make it better.
    • Get it off the Kinect. The controls on Kinect were rubbish. Have the controller be used to control (which, if you haven't noticed by the name,it was meant for).
    • Better and longer development. I don't know about anyone else but my painfully short experience with this game was plagued with glitches.
    • Easier levels. I am an okay gamer (I place myself a little below average), however, even on easy, I died 30 times in a level. It would be for the best if they made 'easy' medium, add in a new easy mode, more along the lines of Wolfenstien's (the newer one) 'Daddy, tell me a story' difficulty.
     
  9. Dumanios Sixth Picturewraith

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    Dark Realm of Picturedor
    I'm not sure how to make Shaq-Fu good.
     
  10. Fenwick Uncrowned ruler of Hippies Donor

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    Leave me be!
    Duke Nukem Forever

    Make it a delightful comment upon both current, and the history of the FPS game. So take Duke the big steroid using action hero thrown into a world of Master Chief, Battefield, and MOH. You take Duke in his vegas hotel, make him a big fat elvis seeing aliens arrive.
     
  11. Alex1guy First Of His Name

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    Aug 23, 2011
    Location:
    The New Zealand Empire
    Oh God that was a fucking nightmare. Fuck Steel Batallion Kinect. How to fix it? Give back the giant super controller! Then you have a winner.
     
  12. Hadley Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2008
    Also, get rid of the ridiculous puzzles, like that thing with the remote control car. The Duke of DN3D never would have bothered with that.
     
  13. Mister Abbadon Well-Known Member

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    Oct 10, 2009
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    the abyss
    And No regenerating health or two weapon slots. that is some bullshit
     
  14. Orville_third Banned

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    Mar 3, 2009
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    Piedmont Socialist Republic
    How would you make Zero Wing (which I haven't played) more popular? Bonus points for keeping the intro!
     
  15. AudieSiswanto Legendary.

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    Aug 1, 2012
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    Jakarta Raya, Republik Indonesia
    HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO SAVE RE:5?,the Worst RE EVER?!
    ------------------------------
    RESIDENT EVIL:Operation Racoon City

    -Stay Faithful on the Original Storyline
    -Reduce the RE5 Action
    -Add More Horror and Monsters
     
  16. sharlin Banned

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2010
    Here's a challenge for you folks.

    Rise of the Robots...
     
  17. Some Bloke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2008
    Location:
    A small village in Arkhamshire.
    Wing Commander Prophecy.
    1 Fighter per squadron.
    Keep the interactive conversation thing.
    Fix the full guns slow rate of fire issue.
    Give figures from the old games cameo roles rather than shoehorning them in for no obvious reason.
    E.g. One mission or campaign involves helping the Border Worlds, cue cameos from Hawk, Wilford or Decker.
    Maybe have the Midway relieve a Confed station under Blair's command (cue headline, Old Warhorse saved by his own
    White Elephant).
    Keep cloaking and autotracking guns (maybe fewer missile or ship types if you have to).
    Close up the plotholes (how did they manage to acquire the Alien Supergun anyway?)

    Secret Ops
    Proper cutscenes (maybe as old Wing Commander style talking heads).

    Note: Neither of the above games were terrible, nor were they spectacular, and a few changes could have breathed new life into
    the franchise, if not the Genre. However, this leads to the final nail in the coffin for one of the greatest franchises of all time (Freddie Prinze Jr. being the first).


    Wing Commander Arena.

    Keep to the old Wing Commander format i.e. 3D flight sim. 3rd person perspective by default to keep the console punters happy if you must but first person would still be cool.
    A PC version.
    A single player campaign. Maybe winning certain medals or achieving certain ranks gives you different bonuses in the Multiplayer mode.
    Less reliance on previous designs. maybe have the basic of each type as Arrow, Rapier, Broadsword have different designs rather than variants. Or perhaps have an original fighter design as unlockable.
    Border Worlds as third playable faction rather than having them screwed over in the manual's fluff.
    No reference to the movie at all.

    Privateer 2.
    Actually make it resemble the universe in which its set.
    Keep the original character from the first game.
    Maybe present it as the civilian side of the post Kilrathi war galaxy.
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2013
  18. Romantic Nihilist Amateur Screenwriter

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    Oct 14, 2012
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    Brahms
    Any terrible 3D Sonic Game

    Make it 2-D and closer to the first three games.
     
  19. Hipsterredneck556 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2012
    Location:
    Illinois
    Mercenaries 2: World in Flames

    • Don't let EA have anything to do with it.
    • Increase the draw distances
    • Eliminate the stupid "fuel as a resource thing". Use money to pay for stuff like the last game.
    • Make the AI better.
    • Make explosions effective, not just pretty. I swear, a daisy cutter didn't have any splash damage in that game.
    • Make the NPCs dialog a little more varied.
     
  20. Pellegrino Well-Known Member

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    Apr 18, 2010
    Location:
    United States
    Dammit Andrew. Now I started reading your TL and I can't put it down. It's like AltHis crack. :D
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2013