Part 1: Rising From the Ashes
January 28,1967, 11:12AM. Cape Kennedy Medical facility.
Gus was laying in a seated position in his hospital bed with heavy bandages over his hands and legs. Despite his denial of needing it the doctors forced him to have a breathing tube pump pure oxygen into his nostrils to help expedite the healing process. Most of his shortness of breath was gone although he still had coughing fits here and there. The smoke inhalation really did a number on them.
Gus still counted himself lucky especially considering how Rodger fared. Gus got to walk away with some second degree burns on his arms and barely third degree on his legs with some smoke inhalation. Rodger was in surgery getting skin grafts while doctors were trying to figure out if he had gotten nerve damage and whether he would walk again.
He still couldn't believe just how quickly it all happened. Barely 10 seconds from when he first saw the fire to when he was wrenched out of the capsule with Chaffee in his arms. 10 seconds for the nylon in their suits to catch and melt onto their skin. what would have happened if it took them 12 seconds to get out?
Shit the only reason they were even alive was because Rodge ate some bad seafood. That wasn't just idle thoughts either, he played back the events leading up to the fire a few dozen times already and found no other way for them to have survived. By his guess he started venting the atmosphere fifteen to twenty seconds before the fire started and even then the pressure on the hatch took both he and Ed to open. Any later and they would have been incinerated. If it weren't for Rodger's food poisoning and his being pissed off all three of them would be dead right now.
Gus had faced death before in flight but never like this, and never on the ground. At the moment he was holding the morning paper. On the front page was the article about the fire and spanning the entire top half of the paper was a black and white picture of Gus, Ed, and Rodger exiting the ambulance after it took them from the pad. Gus had never even noticed the camera at the time. Looking at the picture was difficult for him.
Rodger was being carried by two paramedics in a stretcher as he yelled in pain from the extensive burns over his body. Ed usually so composed and ready was disheveled and confused looking. His suit once white was now streaked with grays and blacks with holes burned throughout. And then there was Gus just stepping out of the back and looking on at his two crewmates. He looked like no person had ever seen him, scared.
February 9,1967,1:45PM. Outside Rodger Chaffee's hospital room.
The doctors had finally cleared Rodger to have visitors so long as they came in one at a time. Currently Ed White was chatting with the rookie trying to bring up his spirits inside the room. Standing outside the room looking in was Gus Grissom. He was leaning on his cane, doctors orders for at least a month since his left ankle was pretty badly injured in the fire.
He heard someone walking up to him and turned to his left and to see Martha Chaffee. She had been by her husband's side from the moment that she got the call about the accident. Her eyes were red and puffy and her hair was messy but had obviously been hastily put up. As she got to within a few feet of Gus she opened her mouth to speak but then closed it after a few seconds of trying to form words. She tried for a second time as tears welled up in her eyes but once again could not bring herself to make any sound.
At that moment she simply collapsed onto Grissom hugging him fiercely as she quietly sobbed. He held her reassuringly as she was able to compose herself a bit more.
With a strained voice she said, "Thank you Gus. They told me about what you did. They told me how if you hadn't picked him up he would probably be..." but before she could finish she began to cry again.
After a few moments she let go and wiped away the tears from her eyes. She looked upon the five foot five inch tall man in front of her with great admiration. For one of the few times in his life Gus was speechless. All he could do was simply nod his head to her. Before he knew it the time for him to go in was there.
He walked into the room as Ed left and saw Chaffee covered nearly completely by bandages. Pretty much the only part of him not covered was his face and even then there was a large red line across his jaw line. Upon seeing Gus he gave a weak smile through the clear agony he was in.
"Hey Rodger it's not Halloween yet buddy. You can take off your mummy costume," Gus said with his trademarked levity.
Chaffee gave a slight chuckle then a wince before saying, "Oh Gus that's you! I thought one of the old timers had wandered in from the nursing home down the street," with a grin and a bandaged arm pointing to the cane Gus had walked in on.
"How you holding up there Rodge?"
Replying Chaffee quipped, "Honestly I'm feeling pretty shitty there Gus but considering the other option is death I think I'll stick with feeling shitty."
After a brief laugh from his commander Rodger's eyes shifted into a different light showing a very concentrated idea pop up in his mind. He voiced this with Gus, "I heard that you and Ed are being disposed by congress to testify about the accident?"
Reminded of what lay ahead of him the smile on his face faded slightly but Gus was quick to replace it for Chaffee's sake as he said, "Yeah. Whenever they finish with the initial review they are going to have a hearing on the accident and the nature of NASA in general"
"I want you to tell them something for me..."
February 27, 1967, 5:44PM. Apollo 1 investigations hearing.
Gus Grissom was seated in front of the investigation committee, the only one at the large wooden table in the center of the room flanked by senators, NASA administrators, reporters, and pretty much everyone that could be crammed into that room. His cane was nowhere to be seen as even though his ankle was still quite painful to walk with he decided against using it. He didn't want to look weak or pitiful for the hearing, so he walked in of his own volition without the slightest hint of a limp even though his ankle felt on fire with each step.
He was sitting as straight as possible without a drop of sweat on him. He was ready for the questions and as they began coming at him he was unphased. Gus was the last interview that they would be conducting before reaching a decision on appropriate actions to be taken in response to the fire. Ed had gone right before him and towards the end of his nearly two hour disposition had started getting defensive and combative towards Mondale and Proxmire who were the clear ringleaders of the committee. If they got to Ed after that time then Gus knew they would likely get under his skin too if he let them get any footing.
That's why he wasn't getting emotional when answering the questions just stating the facts. It had already been nearly forty minutes at this point and it was clear that they were trying to get a rise out of him so they could blame someone for the accident, someone to punish. But Gus wasn't going to let them slip the blame onto one person or one group, it wasn't right and it wasn't true.
The younger Mondale asked Grissom another question, "Lieutenant Colonel Grissom, was there negligence on the part of NASA or North American Aviation in the design and testing of the Apollo module?"
After a brief moment he simply replied, "I wouldn't classify any of their actions as negligent no. To me negligence means that there was intentional ignorance of design flaws, and there is no person working on the Apollo program who would intentionally put the lives of the crew at risk."
Unsatisfied Mondale spoke again, " I see, well then let me ask you this, were there any unintentional design flaws or errors made in testing that logically should not have been allowed to happen? For instance, the careless action of leaving a socket wrench inside of one of the panels of the capsule."
Gus took a moment to compose himself and then rebutted with, "You are trying to get me to say that the people working on Apollo were not one hundred percent perfect and that they should be punished for that. The simple fact is that no, they were not perfect. But no program in history in any area of industry has had a one hundred percent success rate. It is an unobtainable goal, what is obtainable is the reduction of risks to a point where it is judged safe for use. What you are interpreting as flaws are only so in hindsight, which unduly burdens the thousands of men who have been working for the past six years on the goal of landing us on the moon.
Take the plug hatch that almost trapped us inside, you know who's fault that is? Its mine. When the explosive bolts went off after my first flight and I nearly drowned they decided to change the hatch to prevent that occurrence. What about the pure oxygen atmosphere? I don't know if you have ever been scuba diving Mr. Mondale but if you have then you would know about the bends. It occurs when the nitrogen gases in your blood expands due to changes in pressure that can lead to death. By using oxygen we simplify the process of feeding air into the capsule and reduce the risk of decompression sickness in astronauts.
In hindsight these features seem dangerous but when they were implemented they were intended to save us from unnecessary danger."
It took Walter Mondale a few seconds to collect his thoughts and to continue with his barrage, "That was a nice speech Mr. Grissom but it still doesn't answer the question, was there undue danger present in the capsule or the testing of the capsule that should have been spotted before you stepped into it?"
With his deep baritone Gus began, "Yes. But it wasn't just NASA's fault or North Americans fault. It was nobody's fault and everybody's fault. The fact of the matter was that we were doing a systems check on a spacecraft on the ground on top of an unfueled rocket. It was considered a formality more than anything to ensure that the computers checked out. We didn't consider it dangerous because we had done it a few dozen times before with no problems. Like I said we had no reason to be worried because if anything was going to happen it would be during launch, or in orbit, or on the moon.
Every man, woman, and child in America is so caught up in going to the moon that we forget that we are human and that we make mistakes. We have been too successful and too lucky. We became complacent and expecting for everything to go according to plan.
Here is the fact of the matter, my business is not a safe one and it is not an easy one. I am a test pilot. Every day that I am in the air I take a risk, every time I drive down the highway I take a risk, every time I walk down the street I take a risk. But this risk, this risk is worth it. Humanity is coming together in this decade to do what was unthinkable and impossible twenty years ago. "
Pausing a moment Gus pulled out a sheet of paper from his jacket pocket and continued, "I have here the words of Rodger Chaffee. He asked me to say them here today since he is unable to attend.
I may never walk again. I may never be able to drive, or to pick my children up onto my shoulders. If this is my fate I accept it with honor and dignity because I know that it occurred in pursuit of a lofty and worthy aspiration, for man to step foot on the moon. No matter what happens in the future I will be satisfied with my performance and with my service to my country. But I will be especially proud of my service to my commander and copilot Gus Grissom and Ed White, for they are not only honorable and distinguished men, but also my friends. If our destiny had been to perish in that fire then I would have gone down with two of the best men I know doing the thing that I had been put on this Earth to do.
I think that he sums up my sentiment quite well. We are in pursuit of a worthy goal. We are attempting to complete the most momentous and awe inspiring achievement in human history. So let us do it. Let us go to the moon. This accident has been a wakeup call to us. We are aware of our own hubris and will actively avoid it. We will complete this goal and we will do it safely. We know where we went wrong now give us a chance to do right and finish what we started. We are on the cusp of changing our world and to stop us so close to the finish line would be an insult, not only to the men who have lost their lives for this program or to the technicians working on these craft, but to every single human being on this planet who would benefit from man reaching out and coming into contact with another celestial body."
Finally having spoken his mind Gus leaned back into his chair and watched as Mondale and every other person in the room tried to come up with something to follow him with.
