offtopic:2012_us_presidential_election
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offtopic:2012_us_presidential_election [2012/11/18 11:03] – Thande | offtopic:2012_us_presidential_election [2012/11/19 20:05] – ABhakhazia | ||
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In November 2008, [[offtopic: | In November 2008, [[offtopic: | ||
- | Obama decided to reform healthcare, something that no American president has ever failed at doing, except all of them. The plan was scuppered with the death of Ted Kennedy, the Republicans pointing out that him having healthcare hadn't stopped him from dying, and Republican supermodel Scott " | + | Obama decided to reform healthcare, something that no American president has ever failed at doing, except all of them. The plan was scuppered with the death of Ted Kennedy, the Republicans pointing out that him having healthcare hadn't stopped him from dying, and Republican supermodel Scott " |
Then Obama killed Osama, a headline that confused Fox News proofreaders for the next six months. | Then Obama killed Osama, a headline that confused Fox News proofreaders for the next six months. | ||
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Of course the most important part of the primaries was the epic bet between [[offtopic: | Of course the most important part of the primaries was the epic bet between [[offtopic: | ||
- | When the nomination was finally settled, the campaign itself began. Mitt Romney decided to appease disgruntled Ron Paul supporters by making his VP somebody of the same ethnic group as Paul--people with two first names instead of a first name and surname. Paul Ryan therefore became the VP candidate, at least until he was hospitalised after being beaten to a pulp by Joe Biden and thus vanished from the airwaves for the remainder of the campaign. Clint Eastwood shouted at an empty chair which Romney offered to fill with one of the women from out of the collection he had pressed in binders. The American ambassador in Benghazi was killed by a mob, after which Romney complained that Obama had not provided enough horses and bayonets to protect him from terrorists. Obama had a disappointing debate performance due to being possessed by the ghost of John Denver and then a better two. The media constantly went on and on about how close it was. Meanwhile Nate Silver quietly pointed out that at no point across the whole campaign had Romney led, and was promptly ignored. Then on election night Obama won by a sizeable amount and the media pointed out how surprising it was, causing TV viewing figures in AH.com households to drop overnight due to the number of bricks thrown at TV screens. | + | When the nomination was finally settled, the campaign itself began. Mitt Romney decided to appease disgruntled Ron Paul supporters by making his VP somebody of the same ethnic group as Paul--people with two first names instead of a first name and surname. Paul Ryan therefore became the VP candidate, at least until he was hospitalised after being beaten to a pulp by Joe Biden and thus vanished from the airwaves for the remainder of the campaign. Clint Eastwood shouted at an empty chair which Romney offered to fill with one of the women from out of the collection he had pressed in binders. The American ambassador in Benghazi was killed by a mob, after which Romney complained that Obama had not provided enough horses and bayonets to protect him from terrorists. Obama had a famous encounter with a normally Republican voting pizza place guy who gave him a bearhug. The Republicans kicked themselves for not having nominated Herman Cain, turns out that pizza //did// play a crucial role in deciding the election. Obama had a disappointing debate performance due to being possessed by the ghost of John Denver and then a better two. The media constantly went on and on about how close it was. Meanwhile Nate Silver quietly pointed out that at no point across the whole campaign had Romney led, and was promptly ignored. Then on election night Obama won by a sizeable amount and the media pointed out how surprising it was, causing TV viewing figures in AH.com households to drop overnight due to the number of bricks thrown at TV screens. |
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+ | Although Romney did win the first debate by quite a bit, which give him a chance of victory....if the election was held on October 4th. | ||
Far more importantly from an AH.com perspective, | Far more importantly from an AH.com perspective, | ||
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{{: | {{: | ||
+ | The Aftermath had Meghan McCain and the Moderates whining (albeit correctly) that the Republicans had gone to far to the right and the Tea Party complaining that they had gone too far to the left, presumably causing a future Republican civil war. Also, Karl Rove still thinks Romney has a chance of winning Ohio, Virginia, Florida and Pennsylvania. | ||
+ | a |
offtopic/2012_us_presidential_election.txt · Last modified: 2019/03/29 15:13 by 127.0.0.1