oof, Steele's ego dwarfs that of OTL Stalin, Hitler, and the Kim family combined
"What Madness Is This?" Volume II: Prophecies in the Dark
- Thread starter Napoleon53
- Start date
It’s been awhile since I read that update, but the war started because the Neutrality Pact nations(all South American nations) realized that after what happened to Mexico, the RU was coming after them eventually and knew full well what would happen if they lost, so they gambled on a first strike in the faint chance they could at least fight the RU to collapse.
EDIT: Ninja’d by @Napoleon53
Except Brazil, which waited till Gran Colombia collapsed to finally get moving. It's relationship with the rest of South America is... Tense to say the least.
Psychologist: "Mittelafrika, where do you see yourself in about thirty years?"
Mittelafrika: "Broken up into a bunch of bizarre tinpot nations, puppeted by a bunch of Southern hillbillies, and everything looks like this:"
In all seriousness, I'm PUMPED to begin really crossing some cultures that never were crossed OTL to create some really cursed monstrosities. *nibbles deep fried sauerkraut, chicken, and chapati sammich.* Yee haw, mein fuhrer.
Mittelafrika: "Broken up into a bunch of bizarre tinpot nations, puppeted by a bunch of Southern hillbillies, and everything looks like this:"
In all seriousness, I'm PUMPED to begin really crossing some cultures that never were crossed OTL to create some really cursed monstrosities. *nibbles deep fried sauerkraut, chicken, and chapati sammich.* Yee haw, mein fuhrer.
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There's also the fact that the political spectrum and web of international alliances has changed radically from OTL in both timelines, given the roughly similar divergence timeframe. While (as I've said in both threads) NUSA and Drakia are basically mirror image mortal enemies the alliances and politics of the wider world are so different between the two timelines that you'd really have to massage story elements from one to fit the circumstances of the other.
I demand more scenes of Cackalack boys slurping sweet tea and then casually threatening people.
Are you trying to imply that America and Joe Steele aren't the same thing? You Neutie scum!
Couples Counselor: "Carolina, Mittelafrika, if you don't put in the work, this marriage will fail. Carolina, why are you so controlling over Mittelafrika?"
Carolina: "I don't wanna control her, but it ain't my damn fault she can't handle her *slurs deleted* So I have to do it for her!"
*Thick German accent* You haff hee'd dein last haw, shvinhund.
*BANG*
When you, your sons Adam, Klein Josef, und Grosse Hoß go to the Congo to stake your claim.
*goosesteps in spurs through the swinging doors of the African beerhall as piano plays* "HOWDY ZER, PARDNÜRS. Y'ALL SEEN ANY ZEBRA RÜSTLERS COMEN ZIS WAY?""Joo know vat ve do wit die zebra rüstlers round zees parts. Ve terminate zem mit die extreme prejudice."
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You know I'm back in form when I have 3am WMIT fever dreams of the most absurd kind. I feel like me and Murica will get the biggest laughs from this. My body wouldn't let me rest until I created:
(really sets the vibe)
King Cackalack reclines in a zebra hammock in Yonderland.
"Dey is insultin' mah authoritah, and that's nothin' bu' plain an' seemple Boo-tell-ism." - Corridor Marshal Ernie Rockpyle
"What we got heah is a clear lack of respect for the colo-nee-al admin'stration."
I like to imagine King Cackalack is a cross between Smokie (obviously), Crocodile Dundee, and a little bit of spaghetti western thrown in, all set in *snickers* fucking Carolinian Africa. The reason OTL for hyperviolent Italian cinema was Italy's long-standing censorship. When the laws expired, they amped it to 101%. I imagine the Public Virtue men in CoCaro finally easing off on censorship in movies and immediately create some wise-cracking antihero who fails in the end and "the law prevails," but only insofar as to not get the movie banned. Lmao
Yankee economist discussing affairs with Cokie friend at dinner: "So, what would you say CoCaro's number one export is? Rubber? Diamonds? Oil? Cattle?"
*flashback montage plays of Presbyterian good old boys blowing up piles of explosives for fun in Yonderland, some drunk old coot wrestling some literal gorilla, and "African-born women" meaning girls with blonde hair, cut-off jeans, and cowboy boots who enjoy some commodity meat and party liquor and apartheid but you don't bring that up at dinner*
Cokie economist: "Ah, uh, culture, Henry. We export goddamn culture."
King Cackalack reclines in a zebra hammock in Yonderland.
"Dey is insultin' mah authoritah, and that's nothin' bu' plain an' seemple Boo-tell-ism." - Corridor Marshal Ernie Rockpyle
"What we got heah is a clear lack of respect for the colo-nee-al admin'stration."
Yankee economist discussing affairs with Cokie friend at dinner: "So, what would you say CoCaro's number one export is? Rubber? Diamonds? Oil? Cattle?"
*flashback montage plays of Presbyterian good old boys blowing up piles of explosives for fun in Yonderland, some drunk old coot wrestling some literal gorilla, and "African-born women" meaning girls with blonde hair, cut-off jeans, and cowboy boots who enjoy some commodity meat and party liquor and apartheid but you don't bring that up at dinner*
Cokie economist: "Ah, uh, culture, Henry. We export goddamn culture."
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In Spain we had the same thing but with sex instead of violence. Iirc it began with the end of francoist censorship. It was called the "destape" ("uncovering"), and they consisted generally in typical spannish guys whose physiques were rather homely ending up in dirty situations with far more attractive unhibited women while cracking dirty spannish humour. It was very, very "open", for lack of better words, and in a way, a very spannish type of story.
You know I'm back in form when I have 3am WMIT fever dreams of the most absurd kind. I feel like me and Murica will get the biggest laughs from this. My body wouldn't let me rest until I created:
(really sets the vibe)
I like to imagine King Cackalack is a cross between Smokie (obviously), Crocodile Dundee, and a little bit of spaghetti western thrown in, all set in *snickers* fucking Carolinian Africa. The reason OTL for hyperviolent Italian cinema was Italy's long-standing censorship. When the laws expired, they amped it to 101%. I imagine the Public Virtue men in CoCaro finally easing off on censorship in movies and immediately create some wise-cracking antihero who fails in the end and "the law prevails," but only insofar as to not get the movie banned. Lmao
King Cackalack reclines in a zebra hammock in Yonderland.
"Dey is insultin' mah authoritah, and that's nothin' bu' plain an' seemple Boo-tell-ism." - Corridor Marshal Ernie Rockpyle
"What we got heah is a clear lack of respect for the colo-nee-al admin'stration."
Yankee economist discussing affairs with Cokie friend at dinner: "So, what would you say CoCaro's number one export is? Rubber? Diamonds? Oil? Cattle?"
*flashback montage plays of Presbyterian good old boys blowing up piles of explosives for fun in Yonderland, some drunk old coot wrestling some literal gorilla, and "African-born women" meaning girls with blonde hair, cut-off jeans, and cowboy boots who enjoy some commodity meat and party liquor and apartheid but you don't bring that up at dinner*
Cokie economist: "Ah, uh, culture, Henry. We export goddamn culture."
I. LOVE. THIS!
Smokey and the Bandit is one of my all-time favorite movies. My folks introduced me to it, and then I watched it with my highschool buddies a lot too. Although it's been awhile, I'm pretty sure I can still belt out Eastbound and Down perfectly.
I definitely think Carolina would be the place to have lovable rogues who defy the authorities, albeit unsuccessfully, on the silver screen. One thing that's kinda weird about Southern culture is we're very deferential to authority..... until we're not. People go from "Yes sir, officer, God Bless y'all and the troops" to "Y'ain't gonna tell me what to do" in 3.5 seconds.
I also really, really love the idea of soft power Carolina. Just good ol boys and their daisy duke clad belles raising hell on the silver screen the Free World over! Hell, if this movie actually becomes a plot element, I'd be honored to work up a brief plot and a larger genre for it to fall into.
In honor of King Cackalack, a shitpost
African Woman:
Well, I ain't never been the Pinnie-doll type
No, I can't swig that fancy brandy stuff, I'd rather drink 'shine all night
In a tavern or in a honky tonk, or on a four-wheel drive tailgate
I've got posters on my wall of Jackson, Gamble and Christ
Some people look down on me, but I don't give a rip
I'll stand barefooted in my own front yard with a baby on my hip
'Cause I'm an Afr-ican woman
I ain't no high-class broad
I'm just a product of my raisin'
I say, "hey y'all" and "yee-yee"
And I keep my Christmas lights on
On my front porch all year long
And I know all the words to every verse of Hark the Sound
So here's to all my sisters out there keeping Africa free
Let me get a big "heck yeah" from the African girls like me
Heck yeah (heck yeah)
Yankee feminists, well, their words are real nice
Oh, but I don't need the guvmint to guarantee all my rights
I'm still look strong, just as strong as those models on TV
No, I don't need no free love to make my man want me
You might think I'm trashy, a little too hardcore
But in my neck of the woods I'm just the girl next door
Hey, I'm an Afri-can woman
I ain't no high-class broad
I'm just a product of my raisin'
I say, "hey y'all" and "yee-yee"
And I keep my Christmas lights on
On my front porch all year long
And I know how to holler "We're Gonna Take a Little Trip!"
So here's to all my sisters out there keeping Africa free
Let me get a big "heck yeah" from the African girls like me
Heck yeah (heck yeah)
I'm an African woman
I ain't no high-class broad
I'm just a product of my raisin'
I say, "hey y'all" and "yee-yee"
And I keep my Christmas lights on
On my front porch all year long
And I know all the words to every Chancellor Gamble speech
So here's to all my sisters out there keeping Africa free
Let me get a big "hevk yeah" from the African girls like me
Heck yeah
(Heck yeah)
Heck yeah
(Heck yeah)
I said heck yeah
African Woman:
Well, I ain't never been the Pinnie-doll type
No, I can't swig that fancy brandy stuff, I'd rather drink 'shine all night
In a tavern or in a honky tonk, or on a four-wheel drive tailgate
I've got posters on my wall of Jackson, Gamble and Christ
Some people look down on me, but I don't give a rip
I'll stand barefooted in my own front yard with a baby on my hip
'Cause I'm an Afr-ican woman
I ain't no high-class broad
I'm just a product of my raisin'
I say, "hey y'all" and "yee-yee"
And I keep my Christmas lights on
On my front porch all year long
And I know all the words to every verse of Hark the Sound
So here's to all my sisters out there keeping Africa free
Let me get a big "heck yeah" from the African girls like me
Heck yeah (heck yeah)
Yankee feminists, well, their words are real nice
Oh, but I don't need the guvmint to guarantee all my rights
I'm still look strong, just as strong as those models on TV
No, I don't need no free love to make my man want me
You might think I'm trashy, a little too hardcore
But in my neck of the woods I'm just the girl next door
Hey, I'm an Afri-can woman
I ain't no high-class broad
I'm just a product of my raisin'
I say, "hey y'all" and "yee-yee"
And I keep my Christmas lights on
On my front porch all year long
And I know how to holler "We're Gonna Take a Little Trip!"
So here's to all my sisters out there keeping Africa free
Let me get a big "heck yeah" from the African girls like me
Heck yeah (heck yeah)
I'm an African woman
I ain't no high-class broad
I'm just a product of my raisin'
I say, "hey y'all" and "yee-yee"
And I keep my Christmas lights on
On my front porch all year long
And I know all the words to every Chancellor Gamble speech
So here's to all my sisters out there keeping Africa free
Let me get a big "hevk yeah" from the African girls like me
Heck yeah
(Heck yeah)
Heck yeah
(Heck yeah)
I said heck yeah
You have no idea how much that made me grin! Great to see some country here.
May I suggest The Bosshoss considering they're a German band who does Western country music?
May I suggest The Bosshoss considering they're a German band who does Western country music?
I have some ideas for what the Middle East will look like by the 1960s-1970s.
Turkey:
It has been alluded to that Turkey will experience some form of Super-Islamism. For that reason, I think Turkey's internal politics will resemble the Islamic Republic of Iran. I don't think they will have a single Caliph. Once the Islamists get into a position to overthrow the Sublime Porte, I think they will repudiate the Sultan's claim to being Caliph and do what Ataturk did by transferring the Caliph's power to the Grand Assembly. Unlike in Ataturk's reforms, the Grand Assembly will retain the religious powers of the Caliphate. The Islamic Republic of Turkey would claim that democratic election of the Grand Assembly, which holds the Caliphate's power, constitutes proper Shura. The President of Turkey, like the members of the Grand Assembly, would be democratically elected. The President, though, would be a puppet of the Supreme Leader of the Islamic Revolution, a member of the Grand Assembly who serves as a Prime Minister figure. The Supreme Leader would be able to issue decrees on behalf of the legislature, veto the Grand Assembly's laws, wield the Republic and Caliphate's moral authority, and lead the Turkish armed forces.
The flag of the Islamic Republic of Turkey would be a red and black bicolour, with red toward the hoist and black toward the fly. A thin white stripe would divide the two halves. There would be a white star and crescent on the red side of the flag.
Turkey would be ruled by a single legal party, the National People's Union (symbolized with a red-white-black tricolour). It would be organized along Eduist/Leninist lines as a national vanguard party, but would be a big tent ideologically. There would be a far right wing, the National Bloc, arguing for right-wing populism and a return to the social structures of the Ottoman Empire. Its political colors would be black and white. On the other side would be the People's Bloc, arguing for Islamic socialism, left-wing nationalism, and social democracy with universal charity and welfare. Red and white would be this bloc's colors. I can't see there being any center of which to speak, but the two extreme sides would be able to find common ground in their shared nationalism, populism, and Islamism. Outside the NPU, there would be an Eduist guerilla opposition in eastern Anatolia, especially in Kurdish-majority areas.
Turkey's foreign policy would be a weirdly syncretic mix of Neo-Ottomanism and Pan-Islamism. Turkey's main goal would be to regain control of the Middle East and Balkans. This means isolating and defeating the League of Tsars' member states, Armenia, Israel, and Iraq. Armenia would probably be Turkey's first target of conquest. The Neo-Ottoman foreign policy would also include reclaiming Cyprus and building up a naval presence in the Mediterranean and Black Sea. The Pan-Islamist initiative would mean fueling Islamist movements in the IPRR (Caucasus and Central Asia), Albania, Bosnia, North Africa, West Africa, Zanzibar, Indonesia, and the Indian Subcontinent. Turkey could rein in these movements by creating the Organization of the House of Peace to create a united front against its global adversaries. Turkey's main ally will be Rashidi Arabia and possibly an independent Indonesia, and its main enemies will be Israel, Iran, and the IPRR.
The Turkish military would consist of the Land Forces, Navy, Air Force, and National People's Guard. The Land Forces and Navy would be relatively conventional branches. Most of the Army's equipment would be indigenously produced and based on Swiss and Dutch models. The Navy would consist mostly of cruisers and frigates, with some leftover battleships and one or two archaic aircraft carriers. The Air Force would be unusual in that it is overloaded with archaic, obsolete airships carrying 1940s to early 1950s biplanes that have been retrofitted with jet engines. The Turkish Air Force would also be responsible for the "Wall of Minarets," Turkey's anti-rocket and anti-artillery air defense system patterned after Israel's Iron Dome. The most recognizable symbol of the Turkish military would be the white stahlhelm helmet with a red star and crescent painted on the front.
Syria:
The Syrian Republic will probably begin to exist once the French evacuate the region. It will probably be a constitutionalist state in theory but a military junta in practice due to the political influence of the military leaders that drove out the French. However, a truncated version of the political culture of the French democratic period would remain, as would the Napoleonic Code as a basis for the legal system. The National Bloc (no relation to Turkey's) would be Syria's dominant party, led by Nazim al-Qudsi. Al-Qudsi's administration would be primarily interested in retaining the support of Aleppo's notables and the oil, textile, and mining industries. Most of Europe's cheap clothing and automobile fuel would come from Syria. Another one of these notables, Khalid al-Azm, would be the Prime Minister. By the 1960s, al-Azm would have been a veteran of Syria's local ORRA equivalent.
The Syrian flag will be either the OTL flag of the Arab Kingdom of Syria or that of the Syrian Republic.
Syria's biggest internal problem will probably be the issues of Lebanese and Kurdish secessionism. I think Lebanon will be a nexus of sectarian conflict and internal violence for years to come even ITTL. Beyond Syria's borders, its foreign policy will probably involve supporting the IPRR, Europa, and Iran all at once, but opposing the NUSA, Israel, Turkey, and Rashidi Arabia. Syria's policy toward Turkey will be ambivalent, and swing between mild support and equally mild opposition. I expect the Turkish-Syrian rivalry will mainly express itself through football.
Iraq:
I think that Iraq will remain a kingdom. In reaction to the looming forces of Iran, Syria, and Turkey, Iraq might pursue an alliance with Rashidi Arabia and the Arab Gulf states, and become the center of monarchist Pan-Arabism. Maybe Gamal Abdel Nasser will defect from Egypt to serve as the Iraqi PM or commander of the Iraqi military. One of Iraq's foreign policy goals will be to regain Palestine and Jerusalem from Israel. During the French evacuation from the Levant, Iraq might seize control of Jordan and parts of the West Bank.
Israel:
I think that Israel will become the home of the European and Russian Jews some time in the 1940s or 1950s. However, I think that there will be a series of events leading up to the Gathering of Israel. Firstly, Zionism will develop within the Haskalah (Jewish Enlightenment) tradition. This will create a Jewish reform movement that takes on liberal and proto-Illuminist overtones during the late nineteenth century. Lev Bronstein (Trotsky) will take over the intellectual and political Zionist movement in the 1910s, and begin arguing for "Zionism in one country," because of the irony of it. Then, the Napoleonic Levant receives waves of Jewish immigration. First from Russia under Tsar Victor, then from Germany and the IPRR, then from Germany and Italy. By the 1950s, Palestine will be full of Jewish immigrants. When the Napoleonic Empire can no longer sustain its control over the Middle East, Israel will stage an uprising to free itself. The Israeli forces will seize the Temple Mount and probably destroy the Dome of the Rock and the Muslim areas of Jerusalem. Physically, 1960s-1970s Jerusalem will resemble OTL Tel Aviv.
Israel's flag will be white with a Star of David at the center and a rainbow band through the middle. There will be white space between the rainbow and the blue star.
Israel's political system will resemble that of the IPRR due to the lingering Illuminist influence on Zionism. It will probably feature democratic centralism as an organizing principle, and have Trotsky as its protector until his death at some point in the mid to late 1950s. Even after Trotsky dies, his Israel Party will govern Israel as a one-party state. It will be an intensely militaristic state, and will justify its standing army by using it as a labor army between conflicts. Agriculture will be based on kibbutzim, on which the majority of the non-urban Israelis live. The kibbutz effect will probably kill off Israeli birthrates starting in the late 1970s, causing Israel to require immigration to survive. The Israeli government will probably market immigration to American Jews and advertise travel extensively in the NUSA. Also, I think that Israel will develop a caste system to measure how "Arabized" a person is and restrict the rights of the Palestinians to the same degree as Apartheid or Jim Crow.
Israeli foreign policy will probably feature alliances with the NUSA, Iran, and Pharaohnic Egypt. Although Israel will be a pseudo-Illuminist state, it will be the IPRR's enemy after the 1950s. Once Israel has broken its relations with the IPRR, it will pivot to become the NUSA's "greatest ally." Some enemies besides the Illuminist states will be Syria, Iraq, Turkey, and the Arab Gulf states. Israel will have one of the largest and strongest militaries in the Middle East, including new equipment from the NUSA, legacy gear from the IPRR, and captured Iraqi, Syrian, Turkish, and Rashidi equipment. Captured enemy soldiers will probably be thrown in gulags and used for slave labor.
Egypt:
Taha Hussein will probably be the President of Egypt after its independence from France for a short while. After that, he will be the Pharaoh. Hussein will be a secular dictator preoccupied with Egypt's pre-Islamic past, and try to rebuild the Egyptian state in the image of the Ancient Egyptian civilization. The Arabic language will be turned into Kemetic newspeak, mosques will become temples to the Pharaoh and civic virtue, ancient cities will be bulldozed and rebuilt as neo-Kemetic metropolises, and old literature will be banned. The Egyptian government will be run in a purely despotic way, with the dictatorship enforced by the rabidly nationalist military and the omnipresent State Security Investigations Service.
Egypt's flag will be blue with three white triangles, representing the pyramids, in a horizontal row across the middle.
Egypt's foreign policy will be based on control of the Nile and the Eastern Mediterranean. They will probably get bogged down in a guerilla war in Sudan against Rashidi-supported rebels. Egypt will be allied to Israel and to the NUSA by proxy (without the NUSA's formal acknowledgement of the Kemetic Infie heathens). There might or might not be an Egyptian-Iranian alliance. Turkish-Egyptian naval rivalry will dominate the Eastern Mediterranean, and Egypt might claim Cyprus as a target of expansion. All the Arab states and Turkey will be Egypt's enemies.
Iran:
Some sort of dictatorship by the Shah in the style of the Pahlavi Dynasty or Imperial Japan.
Turkey:
It has been alluded to that Turkey will experience some form of Super-Islamism. For that reason, I think Turkey's internal politics will resemble the Islamic Republic of Iran. I don't think they will have a single Caliph. Once the Islamists get into a position to overthrow the Sublime Porte, I think they will repudiate the Sultan's claim to being Caliph and do what Ataturk did by transferring the Caliph's power to the Grand Assembly. Unlike in Ataturk's reforms, the Grand Assembly will retain the religious powers of the Caliphate. The Islamic Republic of Turkey would claim that democratic election of the Grand Assembly, which holds the Caliphate's power, constitutes proper Shura. The President of Turkey, like the members of the Grand Assembly, would be democratically elected. The President, though, would be a puppet of the Supreme Leader of the Islamic Revolution, a member of the Grand Assembly who serves as a Prime Minister figure. The Supreme Leader would be able to issue decrees on behalf of the legislature, veto the Grand Assembly's laws, wield the Republic and Caliphate's moral authority, and lead the Turkish armed forces.
The flag of the Islamic Republic of Turkey would be a red and black bicolour, with red toward the hoist and black toward the fly. A thin white stripe would divide the two halves. There would be a white star and crescent on the red side of the flag.
Turkey would be ruled by a single legal party, the National People's Union (symbolized with a red-white-black tricolour). It would be organized along Eduist/Leninist lines as a national vanguard party, but would be a big tent ideologically. There would be a far right wing, the National Bloc, arguing for right-wing populism and a return to the social structures of the Ottoman Empire. Its political colors would be black and white. On the other side would be the People's Bloc, arguing for Islamic socialism, left-wing nationalism, and social democracy with universal charity and welfare. Red and white would be this bloc's colors. I can't see there being any center of which to speak, but the two extreme sides would be able to find common ground in their shared nationalism, populism, and Islamism. Outside the NPU, there would be an Eduist guerilla opposition in eastern Anatolia, especially in Kurdish-majority areas.
Turkey's foreign policy would be a weirdly syncretic mix of Neo-Ottomanism and Pan-Islamism. Turkey's main goal would be to regain control of the Middle East and Balkans. This means isolating and defeating the League of Tsars' member states, Armenia, Israel, and Iraq. Armenia would probably be Turkey's first target of conquest. The Neo-Ottoman foreign policy would also include reclaiming Cyprus and building up a naval presence in the Mediterranean and Black Sea. The Pan-Islamist initiative would mean fueling Islamist movements in the IPRR (Caucasus and Central Asia), Albania, Bosnia, North Africa, West Africa, Zanzibar, Indonesia, and the Indian Subcontinent. Turkey could rein in these movements by creating the Organization of the House of Peace to create a united front against its global adversaries. Turkey's main ally will be Rashidi Arabia and possibly an independent Indonesia, and its main enemies will be Israel, Iran, and the IPRR.
The Turkish military would consist of the Land Forces, Navy, Air Force, and National People's Guard. The Land Forces and Navy would be relatively conventional branches. Most of the Army's equipment would be indigenously produced and based on Swiss and Dutch models. The Navy would consist mostly of cruisers and frigates, with some leftover battleships and one or two archaic aircraft carriers. The Air Force would be unusual in that it is overloaded with archaic, obsolete airships carrying 1940s to early 1950s biplanes that have been retrofitted with jet engines. The Turkish Air Force would also be responsible for the "Wall of Minarets," Turkey's anti-rocket and anti-artillery air defense system patterned after Israel's Iron Dome. The most recognizable symbol of the Turkish military would be the white stahlhelm helmet with a red star and crescent painted on the front.
Syria:
The Syrian Republic will probably begin to exist once the French evacuate the region. It will probably be a constitutionalist state in theory but a military junta in practice due to the political influence of the military leaders that drove out the French. However, a truncated version of the political culture of the French democratic period would remain, as would the Napoleonic Code as a basis for the legal system. The National Bloc (no relation to Turkey's) would be Syria's dominant party, led by Nazim al-Qudsi. Al-Qudsi's administration would be primarily interested in retaining the support of Aleppo's notables and the oil, textile, and mining industries. Most of Europe's cheap clothing and automobile fuel would come from Syria. Another one of these notables, Khalid al-Azm, would be the Prime Minister. By the 1960s, al-Azm would have been a veteran of Syria's local ORRA equivalent.
The Syrian flag will be either the OTL flag of the Arab Kingdom of Syria or that of the Syrian Republic.
Syria's biggest internal problem will probably be the issues of Lebanese and Kurdish secessionism. I think Lebanon will be a nexus of sectarian conflict and internal violence for years to come even ITTL. Beyond Syria's borders, its foreign policy will probably involve supporting the IPRR, Europa, and Iran all at once, but opposing the NUSA, Israel, Turkey, and Rashidi Arabia. Syria's policy toward Turkey will be ambivalent, and swing between mild support and equally mild opposition. I expect the Turkish-Syrian rivalry will mainly express itself through football.
Iraq:
I think that Iraq will remain a kingdom. In reaction to the looming forces of Iran, Syria, and Turkey, Iraq might pursue an alliance with Rashidi Arabia and the Arab Gulf states, and become the center of monarchist Pan-Arabism. Maybe Gamal Abdel Nasser will defect from Egypt to serve as the Iraqi PM or commander of the Iraqi military. One of Iraq's foreign policy goals will be to regain Palestine and Jerusalem from Israel. During the French evacuation from the Levant, Iraq might seize control of Jordan and parts of the West Bank.
Israel:
I think that Israel will become the home of the European and Russian Jews some time in the 1940s or 1950s. However, I think that there will be a series of events leading up to the Gathering of Israel. Firstly, Zionism will develop within the Haskalah (Jewish Enlightenment) tradition. This will create a Jewish reform movement that takes on liberal and proto-Illuminist overtones during the late nineteenth century. Lev Bronstein (Trotsky) will take over the intellectual and political Zionist movement in the 1910s, and begin arguing for "Zionism in one country," because of the irony of it. Then, the Napoleonic Levant receives waves of Jewish immigration. First from Russia under Tsar Victor, then from Germany and the IPRR, then from Germany and Italy. By the 1950s, Palestine will be full of Jewish immigrants. When the Napoleonic Empire can no longer sustain its control over the Middle East, Israel will stage an uprising to free itself. The Israeli forces will seize the Temple Mount and probably destroy the Dome of the Rock and the Muslim areas of Jerusalem. Physically, 1960s-1970s Jerusalem will resemble OTL Tel Aviv.
Israel's flag will be white with a Star of David at the center and a rainbow band through the middle. There will be white space between the rainbow and the blue star.
Israel's political system will resemble that of the IPRR due to the lingering Illuminist influence on Zionism. It will probably feature democratic centralism as an organizing principle, and have Trotsky as its protector until his death at some point in the mid to late 1950s. Even after Trotsky dies, his Israel Party will govern Israel as a one-party state. It will be an intensely militaristic state, and will justify its standing army by using it as a labor army between conflicts. Agriculture will be based on kibbutzim, on which the majority of the non-urban Israelis live. The kibbutz effect will probably kill off Israeli birthrates starting in the late 1970s, causing Israel to require immigration to survive. The Israeli government will probably market immigration to American Jews and advertise travel extensively in the NUSA. Also, I think that Israel will develop a caste system to measure how "Arabized" a person is and restrict the rights of the Palestinians to the same degree as Apartheid or Jim Crow.
Israeli foreign policy will probably feature alliances with the NUSA, Iran, and Pharaohnic Egypt. Although Israel will be a pseudo-Illuminist state, it will be the IPRR's enemy after the 1950s. Once Israel has broken its relations with the IPRR, it will pivot to become the NUSA's "greatest ally." Some enemies besides the Illuminist states will be Syria, Iraq, Turkey, and the Arab Gulf states. Israel will have one of the largest and strongest militaries in the Middle East, including new equipment from the NUSA, legacy gear from the IPRR, and captured Iraqi, Syrian, Turkish, and Rashidi equipment. Captured enemy soldiers will probably be thrown in gulags and used for slave labor.
Egypt:
Taha Hussein will probably be the President of Egypt after its independence from France for a short while. After that, he will be the Pharaoh. Hussein will be a secular dictator preoccupied with Egypt's pre-Islamic past, and try to rebuild the Egyptian state in the image of the Ancient Egyptian civilization. The Arabic language will be turned into Kemetic newspeak, mosques will become temples to the Pharaoh and civic virtue, ancient cities will be bulldozed and rebuilt as neo-Kemetic metropolises, and old literature will be banned. The Egyptian government will be run in a purely despotic way, with the dictatorship enforced by the rabidly nationalist military and the omnipresent State Security Investigations Service.
Egypt's flag will be blue with three white triangles, representing the pyramids, in a horizontal row across the middle.
Egypt's foreign policy will be based on control of the Nile and the Eastern Mediterranean. They will probably get bogged down in a guerilla war in Sudan against Rashidi-supported rebels. Egypt will be allied to Israel and to the NUSA by proxy (without the NUSA's formal acknowledgement of the Kemetic Infie heathens). There might or might not be an Egyptian-Iranian alliance. Turkish-Egyptian naval rivalry will dominate the Eastern Mediterranean, and Egypt might claim Cyprus as a target of expansion. All the Arab states and Turkey will be Egypt's enemies.
Iran:
Some sort of dictatorship by the Shah in the style of the Pahlavi Dynasty or Imperial Japan.
I mean, it does look healthier (although it probably has a bunch of cocaine in it)
Random stream of consciousness from work:
The name for greater Cokie Africa is the Greater Carolinian Colonial Administration (GCCA), as depicted in the parody poster. But...
In the common tongue the colonies are collectively known as "New Cackalacky."
It's so absurd. I love it. The very idea of people straight-faced worrying about insurrection in the jungles of New Cackalacky is hilarious. Also "The New Cackalacky Big Bill Jennings Hydro-Electric Dam and Memorial" in the Cacklacky Congo if they ever annex portions of Mittelafrika is gut-busting to me. Ah, I love cursed things.
Also: You could kind of honestly say the whole Cokie storyline ITTL is a parody of the absurdity of what it means to be an Imperialist and colonizer. We laugh at a bunch of Southern hillbillies claiming a part of Africa, but honestly that's just as "legit" and "necessary" a claim as OTL Leopold PRIVATELY OWNING the Congo, or some random European nation showing up and saying "Give us your gold and nobody gets hurt. Well... Okay there's gonna be some hurt but gib gold anywae."
The name for greater Cokie Africa is the Greater Carolinian Colonial Administration (GCCA), as depicted in the parody poster. But...
In the common tongue the colonies are collectively known as "New Cackalacky."
It's so absurd. I love it. The very idea of people straight-faced worrying about insurrection in the jungles of New Cackalacky is hilarious. Also "The New Cackalacky Big Bill Jennings Hydro-Electric Dam and Memorial" in the Cacklacky Congo if they ever annex portions of Mittelafrika is gut-busting to me. Ah, I love cursed things.
Also: You could kind of honestly say the whole Cokie storyline ITTL is a parody of the absurdity of what it means to be an Imperialist and colonizer. We laugh at a bunch of Southern hillbillies claiming a part of Africa, but honestly that's just as "legit" and "necessary" a claim as OTL Leopold PRIVATELY OWNING the Congo, or some random European nation showing up and saying "Give us your gold and nobody gets hurt. Well... Okay there's gonna be some hurt but gib gold anywae."
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