the best movies never made

Ten Inch Hero - A superhero film about an aspiring chef named Jerry Janiski, who gets into a freak incident after a shady corporation he was seeking to work for tests an experimental weapon on him that mutates him. He wakes up after a lengthy coma to find the government has taken and him and more or less has healed him. He learns the weapon used was a quantum gun that could warp space to shrink things, and by the time agents arrived, he was no bigger then 25.4 inches high, and requires a special harness to stabilise him and control his shrinkage. Out of two desires to do good and get revenge, he decides to become a vigilante to take down the mutants and criminals the corporation has created as part of the government project codenamed Submarine.
  • John Krasinski as Jerry Janiski/The Barracuda
  • Marisa Tomei as Professor Claire Hendrix
  • Kurtwood Smith as Col. Steven Anderson
  • Dennis Leary as Alexander Burkley/Transporter Rex
 
Blackadder 40,000 (2010)

Starring:
Rowan Atkinson as Commissar Camithus Edmunds
Tony Robinson as Trooper Scrob Ozlanovich "SOB" Baldrick
Hugh Laurie as Surgeon-Major George Domus
Tim McInerny as Colonel Percy Darling
Stephen Fry as Lord General Quintus Ignatius Melchett
Miranda Richardson as Inquisitor Amelia "Amy" Elizabeth
Rick Mayall as Rogue Trader Haraias Flasheart
Laurence Fox as Major Terah Gaunt

An April Fool's Pilot show supposedly beginning a 40k themed Blackadder series. On the verge of retiring from Active service before heading up a Schola Progenium, Camithus Edmunds is assigned to a Cadian Regiment as Chief Commissar shortly defore Abbadon's 5th Black Crusade. Dominic West of Flashman fame had initially expressed an interest in the lead role when the Warhammer themed AFP was first proposed. Laurence Fox went on to star as the title character (who, amusingly, was confirmed as Terah Gaunt's direct descendent) in the Gaunt's Ghosts series starting the following year.
 
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Blackadder 40,000 (2010)

Starring:
Rowan Atkinson as Comissar Camithus Edmunds
Tony Robinson as Trooper Jurgen Baldrick
Hugh Laurie as Surgeon-Major George Domus
Tim McInerny as Colonel Persival Kavanovich Darlinski
Stephen Fry as Lord General Quintus Ignatius Melchett
Miranda Richardson as Inquisitor Amelia "Amy" Elizabeth
Rick Mayall as Rogue Trader Haraias Flasheart

An April Fool's Pilot show supposedly beginning a 40k themed Blackadder series. Dominic West of Flashman fame had initially expressed an interest in the lead role when the Warhammer themed AFP was first proposed.

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!
 
Holmes & Watson (2013)
A comedy film loosely based on the workings of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Released to mostly positive reviews and a healthy box office performance.

Directed by Edgar Wright
Screenplay by Edgar Wright, Stephen Fry & Hugh Laurie
  • Hugh Laurie as Sherlock Holmes
  • Stephen Fry as Dr. John H. Watson
  • Catherine Tate as Irene Adler
  • Steve Coogan as Professor Moriarty
  • Rob Brydon as Inspector Lestrade
  • Steve Coogan as Col. Moran
  • Emma Thompson as Mrs. Hudson
  • Tony Slattery as Mycroft Holmes

This is actually a rather good concept !
 
Kennedy (2018)

A humorous yet emotional moving biopic about John F. Kennedy's early years and three years in the White House, it is directed in a similar style and tone as VICE, another biopic released in 2018, except it is more focused on Kennedy. The movie explores JFK's extramarital affairs, Addison's Disease, and rise to power in the White House, the ending of the film is an interview between Bobby and Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr, regarding Jack's life and death, where Bobby ends the film with talking about how he believes that God allows these certain events to happen, so other people can do the same good, ending the film on a wholesome and tender note.
 
Transformers (2004)
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A live action retelling of The Transformers toy-line the film was received well by fans and critics alike and became the 2nd highest grossing film of the year.

Screenplay by: Clara Alistair, Bob Budiansky, Simon Furman
Story by: Clara Alistair
Based on: Transformers by Hasbro
Starring: Azrael Leblanc, Riki Evans, Scott Adkins, Judi Dench, John Turturro, Malcolm McDowell
Production Company: Maple Donut Pictures, ImageMovers
Distributed by: Walt Disney Pictures
Release date: April 2, 2004
Running time: 157 minutes

Cast
Human Cast
  • Azrael Leblanc as Hiroko Amagi - A troubled orphan who despite his juvenile delinquent mannerisms is good hearted in nature and would do anything to protect those he truly cares for.
  • Riki Evans as Emily Hill - Hiroko's lifelong friend and secret lover, she'll assist both Hiroko and the Autobots on their mission by putting her various smarts and skills to good use.
  • Scott Adkins as Johnathan Action, a MI6 agent who after a brief misunderstanding ends up becoming a close ally to the Autobots especially with Ironhide.
  • John Turturro as Agent Seymour Simmons, a high ranking member of the secretive organization Triple-I.
  • Natalie Brown as Agent Marissa Faireborn, Agent Simmons second in command.
  • Malcolm McDowell as Daniel Cross, the corrupt leader of Triple-I who is secretly working with the Decepticons.
  • Judi Dench as Renna Caruso, the caretaker and legal guardian of Hiroko and owner of Rosebud Pizzeria.
Additionally Sacha Baron Cohen cameos as Cobra Commander during a news report which discusses the events of G.I. Joe which while the film was released later the same year as Transformers actually takes place before Transformers chronologically.
Voices
Autobots
  • Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime - The leader of the Autobots who transforms into a Blue and Red 1979 Freightliner FL86 cab over semi truck.
  • Steve Blum as Wheeljack - The Autobot mad scientist who's arguably his own worst enemy with most of his inventions either malfunctioning, exploding, or becoming self aware. Wheeljack is quite adept at driving in his vehicle form, he transforms into a custom white and green Acura NSX GT3.
  • Charlize Theron as Corvette - Corva-Nova affectionally nicknamed "Corvette" by Hiroko is a deadly Autobot assassin who transforms into a blue C6 Chevrolet Corvette.
  • Eddie Murphy as Jazz - Optimus’s second in command who transforms into a custom white and blue Mazda RX8.
  • Hugh Jackman as Ironhide - The Autobot weapons expert who transforms into a Red Nissan Xterra.
  • Tom Hanks as Ratchet - The Autobot medic who transforms into a white Hummer H2 ambulance.
  • Laura Bailey as Teletraan IV - Originally built by Wheeljack to be just an advanced recon satellite, Teletraan IV or Ivy as she sometimes call herself ended up becoming sentient. But that proved to be a happy accident as she proved to be quite useful to the Autobots, She eventually gains the ability to transform herself into a human sized robot.
Decepticons
  • David Tennant as Starscream, The current leader of the Decepticons who transforms into a grey Panavia Tornado ADV with red and blue accents.
  • Frank Welker as:
    • Soundwave, Starscream's second in command, who transforms into a Cybertronian hover tank.
    • Megatron, the "former" leader of the Decepticons who transforms into a silver and black Cybertronian jet.
  • Christopher Eccleston as Thundercracker, currently the leader of the Decepticon’s Seeker Armada who transforms into a blue Grumman F-14 Tomcat.
  • Alex Kingston as Arcticfreeze, a deadly female Decepticon armed with a freeze cannon who transforms into a white and blue Mitsubishi F-2 Fighter Jet..
  • Keith David as Barricade, the commander of the Decepticon’s Vehicon Army who transforms into a black Saleen S281 police car.
  • Simon Pegg as Rumble and Nick Frost as Frenzy, two twin brothers that often get mistaken for one another and loyal minions of Soundwave, Rumble is the expert with a tactical mind and cool head while Frenzy is quite maniacal and often has to be saved by Rumble. The two of them make use of experimental "Pretender Tech" to disguise themselves as humans.
Non Speaking Characters
  • Laserbeak, - A loyal condor-like Decepticon who's fierce loyalty to Soundwave is quite prevalent to the point where he'll help out Soundwave if he winds up in danger.
  • Scorponok, - Named after a feared Decepticon general, this scorpion-like Decepticon is quite friendly with Starscream and insubordinate to Soundwave.
  • Silentstrike - A silent and deadly Decepticon assassin who's actions speak louder than words transforms into an orange Shenyang J-8 Fighter Jet.
  • Ravage - A panther-like Decepticon who serves as Soundwave's hunter and reconnaissance.
Fictional Actor/Person
Original Character
 
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In the Past (2001) - a live action-CGI film released by Walt Disney Studios. Set in a sort of fantasy prehistoric world where dinosaurs co-exist among humanity, it follows four dinosaurs who take upon themselves to transport a young human child back to its tribe. The film is most notable for its use of CG motion capture, puppets, and claymation to portray the dinosaurs.
  • Sylvester Stallone as Algir, the film's dour, cynical Dryptosaurus protagonist.
  • John Leguizamo and Wayne Knight as Palga and Tau, two comical Thelescosaurus brothers.
  • Angela Bassett as Kayhan, an Achillobator.
  • Tony Todd as Vaja, the Achillbator villain of the film.
  • Booboo Stewart as Kusa, the child.
  • Raoul Trujillo as Bine'digi, the tribe's leader
Can you guess what films this is a hybrid of? I based it off the at least one of them was actually offered to Disney by Fox.
 
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Were
In the Past (2001) - a live action-CGI film released by Walt Disney Studios. Set in a sort of fantasy prehistoric world where dinosaurs co-exist among humanity, it follows four dinosaurs who take upon themselves to transport a young human child back to its tribe. The film is most notable for its use of CG motion capture, puppets, and claymation to portray the dinosaurs.
  • Sylvester Stallone as Algir, the film's dour, cynical Dryptosaurus protagonist.
  • John Leguizamo and Wayne Knight as Palga and Tau, two comical Thelescosaurus brothers.
  • Angela Bassett as Kayhan, an Achillobator.
  • Tony Todd as Vaja, the Achillbator villain of the film.
  • Booboo Stewart as Kusa, the child.
  • Raoul Trujillo as Bine'digi, the tribe's leader
Can you guess what films this is a hybrid of?
We're Back and Dinosaur/Ice Age
 
Man Mong [1] - A 1985 Mel Brooks film. The film lampoons jungle adventure movies and serials, most notably King Kong and Tarzan. Like the former, it concerns an expedition to a remote island to capture a giant ape - except the ape in question is a giant human (played by Jessica Lange [2]), and the film takes place in a world where sapient gorillas have formed a human-style civilisation, while humans are otherwise relegated to being (relatively) stupid animals. The inverted premise lends itself to much of the film's humour, such as the strictly vegan american gorillas (just as real gorillas are) being disgusted at the very idea of eating meat as the islander gorillas are doing, let alone big macs. To portray the gorillas, Brooks worked with Rick Baker (no stranger to working on film projects about apes, having worked on King Kong and a Tarzan film themselves) to create these gorillas. Indeed, he was originally going to work on another project about gorillas, a biopic of Dian Fossey. It was these makeup effects for Man Mong that earned the film an Oscar nomination for best makeup.

[1] It's known as Blond Kong in the UK due to Mong being a derogatorily term for someone with Down's Syndrome.
[2] She was amused by the idea and took the role because of it.
 
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SL1
Produced by HBO
Directed by Johan Renck
Script written by Craig Mazin based on the book" Idaho Falls " by William McKeown .
From the Creators of the HBO miniseries Chernobyl .
The story of the Stationary Lowpower Reactor Number One nuclear accident on January 3, 1961 and the death of three men.
 
Some more rail programs of my TL, with the classic details derived from ideas @TheMann let me borrow.

Vintage Peoria Rails
Producer: Pentrex Prouctions [1]
This program takes you back from the 1940s into the 1980s to get a glimpse at the rails in the Peoria area during that time. As well as in surrounding towns such as Galesburg, Chillicothe, and Pekin. Of particular note is the Santa Fe transcon just north of Peoria, mainly near Princeville; the Nickel Plate and later Erie Lackawanna line into town; the PRR Peoria branch in its later days; the Rock Island Peoria Branch; the CB&Q and later BN branch from Galesburg; and the TP&W through town. Throw in the early days of Amtrak Midwest and several steam excursions throughout the years, and you have a program that serves as a true record of Peoria's rail history.

614 Out West
Producer: Jarrett-School Prouctions [1]
The fourth and final installment in the 614 Quartet, this trip shows some of the most truly unique trips and Eastern steamer will ever make. We start with the 614's first ever trip west of Chicago over the Rock Island's mainline to the Quad Cities. There are plenty of excellent scenes as the 614 rolls through the flat farmlands of Illinois to her final destination of Denver, which will be the radius from which all her later excursions will occur.

614's first excursion is over the Burlington Northern's former C&S north to Cheyenne, WY. This run has a fair share of nice action, with heavy diesel-powered freights and Amtrak Colorado's Front Range trains often meeting the 614 at various intervals. Upon arrival at Cheyenne, we got the chance to photograph the 614 alongside the most iconic membes of the Union Pacific steam excursion fleet - Northern #844 and Big Boy #4023, then the train finally returns to Denver. The next trip is a long one over the Joint Line. from Denver to Pueblo via Colorado Springs, also on the BN. This trip repeats many of the same beats as the trip to Cheyenne, but with the addition of meeting with Santa Fe and Rio Grande freights in addition to the BN trains.

Naturally, the best was saved for last, and we conclude our show with the 614's trip over the Rio Grande from Denver to Grand Junction. This is a long, but scenic trip with numerous shots of the 614 snaking through the mountainous line west to Glenwood Springs. Then the flatter but still picturesque mainline to Grand Junction, our final shot of this trip is the 614 as she re-enters Denver that evening after her trip.

America By Rail: Southeast to Northeast
Producer: Jarrett-School Prouctions [1]

American By Rail: Northwest by Southeast (1999)
Follow us on our first coast to coast trip in the America By Rail series since The Heartland. We will take on a long, but magnificent trip from Miami, FL to Seattle, WA on Amtrak's Floridian and Empire Builder streamliners. Along the way we will see the swamps and remote forests of Florida and Georgia, the mountains of Tennessee and Kentucky, the farmland of the Midwest and Great Plans, and the fabulous vistas of the Pacific Northwest.

Along the way, we will also see all sorts of iconic tourists trains such as...
- Gold Coast Railroad Museum: Miami, FL
- Walt Disney World Railroad: Orlando, FL
- Georgia State Railroad Museum: Savannah, GA
- Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum: Chattanooga, TN
- Kentucky Railroad Museum: New Haven, KY
- Whitewater Valley Railroad: Connersville, IN
- Indiana Transportation Museum: Logansport, IN
- Mid-Continent Railway Museum: North Freedom, WI
- Lake Superior Railroad Museum: Duluth, MN
- Mt. Rainer Scenic Railroad: Elbe, WA

Combined with music by Michael Lynch, excellent views of the scenes outside, and live audio of the trains, this rail program is one sure to please anyone.

[1] Founded by Les Jarrett and Greg Scholl, this studio has been rated as one of the best special interest film producers in the country, and second only to Pentrex in the railroad video market.
 
The Glasgow Ice Cream War.
Directed by Guy Ritchie
Staring Colin Meaney and Pierce Broslan .
They play dueling owners of Ice Cream Trucks in Glasgow in the 1980's.
They both turn to dealing Drugs and stolen material from their Trucks to make more money .
What starts as verbal arguments turn to more physical violence, and then to Gun Play .
Based on the True events from 1980's Glasgow.
 

Driftless

Donor
A Voyage to Balumnia (1997 – Pixar)

A Pixar animated tale based on James Blaylock’s fantasy “The Elfin Ship”.

(Blaylock himself describes the tale as being strongly influenced by the “Wind In The Willows” and “Huckleberry Finn”. I’d add with a taste of a slightly macabre “Princess Bride”. Much of the tale is light-hearted, with attention to wordplay, but also with a darker underpinning)

The gist of the plot is that river trade between Twombly and the town of Seaside has been disrupted for mysterious reasons. Since the village depends on that trade, somebody has to go downriver and re-establish those links. Master Cheesemaker Jonathan “Cheeser” Bing reluctantly volunteers to go, along with his roly-poly dog Ahab. “The Professor” Artemis Wurzle and his sister Frigg insert themselves into the voyage as well, as the Professor sees the trek as having possibilities for scientific discovery. Later, our heroes find out that the eccentric young Dooly has stowed away too. Cheeser is a good-hearted soul, who much prefers reading about other peoples adventures while sitting snug and warm by his fireside, rather than participating himself. The Professor is one of those slightly pompous know-it-alls, who is a “great explainer”, though some of the explanations may be of dubious validity. Frigg (a new character for the film) works as the Professor’s capable assistant and general factotum. Dooly is an eccentric and often addled youth who frequently tells seemingly tall tales about his Grampa Escargot’s wild adventures

On their raft trip to the sea, they encounter decidedly unfriendly trolls, goblins, witches, and the malevolent Selznak, but also are rescued by an ethereal airship crewed by elves. When they arrive at Seaside, their adventures are far from over. Their return trip is centered on the recovery of a watch that stops time, from the evil Selznak. Eventually, our heroes triumph with the help of Dooly’s shifty Grampa Theophile Escargot.

The film gained technical acclaim for the imagery of the raft on the great river Oriel, the elfin airship sailing through the clouds and over the landscape, the moody fogbound town of Seaside, and the rousing fight in Hightower Castle. There was some criticism from some corners that the film wasn’t “family-friendly” enough with it’s macabre themes and scary images (for very young children) but that also added appeal for other audiences. The release of the film just prior to Halloween worked and generated second and third viewings going into the 1997 Christmas season. This popularity leads Pixar to produce a sequel “Return To Balumnia” very loosely based on Blaylock’s “The Disappearing Dwarf”, which brought back most of the now-familiar characters. Merchandise tie ins included action figures of Bing, The Professor, Frigg, Dooly, Escargot, Selznak, a goblin, and Ahab the dog. In later days, some of the characters became popular for Cosplay get-ups at fan events.

Voice Actors:
  • Jonathan “Cheeser” Bing – John Candy (His first role after returning from a near-fatal heart attack in 1994. He had taken a couple of years off to get his health in better order)
  • Mayor Bastable – Don Knotts
  • Professor Artemis Wurzle – Dan Ackroyd (Great at playing the slightly pompous, but well-meaning know-it-all)
  • Frigg Wurzle – Yeardley Smith (The Professor’s sister, assistant, and factotum. The character was created for the film to add some gender balance for audience appeal. The addition proved to be very popular)
  • Dooly – Daniel de Santo
  • Selznak – Tim Curry
  • Miles the Magician – Jeff Goldblum
  • Man In The Moon - Patrick Stewart
  • Twickenham – Graham Greene
  • Lonnie Gossett – Christopher Lloyd
  • Theophile Escargot – Charles Durning
  • Captain Binky - Billy Conolly (Return to Balumnia only)
 
Windscale
A movie about the British Government attempt to create a Nuclear Bomb.
To get the needed elements , the government relax the safety rules at the Windscale Reactor .
The Reactor at Windscale catch fire on October 10 1957, and a group of men have to fight it as the reactor is now spitting out radioactive elements.
 
Godzilla vs. Redmoon - the twelfth Godzilla film, notable for not being produced in full by Toho, rather being a colleberation with Tsuburaya Productions, released in 1972. It has a running time of 115 minutes (100 minutes in the american release).

Plot - In the vastness of space, a strange red comet veers into our solar system, heading towards our planet.

Meanwhile on earth, young tokyan boy Ippei Suzuki's family has arrived in Habu Island for a vacation, as he suggested to his parents Shoji and Keiko. Here, he meets up with his pen pals Habu native Minoru Agaraki and Black american Audrey Silberman, the daughter of a military family. The three are devoted lovers of snakes, writing about their studies of them between one another. In particular, Minoru has made a fascinating discovery about one type of snake, the Habu pit viper: its nigh immortal, thanks to consuming a sort of strange tree sap. They all agree to check this out, albeit in secret, as Minoru's father Otohiko disapproves of his interests, wanting him to run his family’s grocery store. Later that night, however, they witness the strange red comet in the night sky. Elsewhere in Toyama, the comet crashes into the countryside, immediately revealing itself to be a giant red hippogriff-like kaiju, which the press dubs Redmoon.

Back on Habu, Ippei, Audrey, and Minoru venture out into the island to see the snakes, where they observe them hunting mice and bugs and consuming the sap itself. However, they soon witness men with guns arrive, including Minoru's father. They begin collecting the snakes and placing them in sacks. A tense confrontation ensues when Shoji decides to put a stop to it. Both parties are interrupted by an apparent earthquake. It turns out to be another kaiju emerging, likely in response to Redmoon's calls, and heads for Toyama.

The JSDF, looking for a solution to the problems, receives a suggestion from an anonymous source that since the monsters are on a collision course, they should ambush the two during the inevitable fight. Said source is Mr. Hatakeyama, a sleazy tabloid newspaper editor and Shoji's boss, who wants a story to cover.

In Toyama, Redmoon has made a strange bower out of metal and earth as the JSDF prepares an ambush on it. However, both are interrupted by the appearance of Godzilla, who ensues in battle with him. Though Godzilla initially had the upper hand, a roaring session makes him back off and leave, much to the JSDF's initial confusion. The other monster, Erabus then arrives. The JSDF believe the two and Godzilla are finally going to fight and take care of one another as they predicted, but they instead preform a mating dance, as a scientist discovers the two are actually of the same species. The two monsters fly off and head for Habu Island. Here, they begin to build a titanic nest on Mount Koriyama.

The entire island is then, on lockdown. Minoru, now having a very caustic relationship with his mother due to leading to his father’s disappearance, makes the suggestion to sneak out and observe the snakes one last time. The three head to the mountain, only to discover the reason why Redmoon and Erabus have come: they have given birth to a single foal named Hafun. The three monsters seem to be relatively tolerant of humans, letting them come within metres. Later in the evening, after the three rush home to beat curfew, they discover Hafun has followed them back to the woods, and they take Hafun in and hide him in Minoru’s barn. However, some burglars break into it that night and kidnap Hafun.

It turns out the burglars are mercenaries by the JSDF and black ops from the US Navy as part of a plan to lure Redmoon and Erabus in an ambush over the ocean, led by Otohiko, who wants money to support his family. They double cross the mercs and soldiers and plan to sell Hafun on the black market, heading for Okinawa. The three kids, having stowed away after feeling guilty at causing this, manage to distract the guards long enough for agents to arrive and arrest the crew, but in a shootout Hafun is gravely wounded. Distraught at their child apparently now dead, Redmoon and Erabus go on a rampage. However, Godzilla shows up and battles with them. Minori, Ippei, and Audrey manage to use a substance produced by Erabus, the same substance that gave the snakes their immortality, to heal Hafun, who attracts Erabus and Redmoon away from the fight. Finally realising how dangerous Earth is, Redmoon and Erebus, carrying a still wounded Hafun, take off into outer space for another planet. Godzilla leaves, but not before giving a warning shot to humans against letting greed and fear cloud judgement.

Reception - The film was only a moderate success, with critics being rather uninterested in the film, at best calling it a decent matinee film with some heart but an overly simplistic and tonal whiplash-prone plot. Godzilla fans were more forgiving, enjoying the more strong plot with an interesting theme of how familial love can destroy as much as it can heal and bring together, well-written and at least decently acted child characters, and excellent characterisation given to the kaiju.

Prior to the reception, several Toho execs considered working with Tsuburaya and other studios to make films and save on costs, a variety of factors shot this down such as the film underperforming against their expectations.

I wonder if I should put all my films together to make a TL...
Nah!
 
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