Greatest religions that never were

The Ubbergeek

I wonder how would look the religious picture of Americas (and Africa!) with alternate colonisations, like with Han power(s).

(Neo)Confucianism could fit well the traditions of Africa maybe - the 'respect for elderly ones' is major in both cultural groups, the clichés want, and Taoism could fit some Amerindian ideas...
 

Kishan

I think that Pharaoh Akhenaton was the first monarch of the ancient world to propagate monotheism.Had he been successful in establishing Atenism and uprooting the old faiths, and had his successors followed his path,surely this new cult of the Imperial Egypt would have spread through the Middle East. Then it would have taken roots in ancient Greece and Rome. In that case Atenism could have become the greatest religion of the world.
 
Maponus

Maponus

Could we all get behind the idea of a giant snake shaping the land?
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I prefer the North American myth of the world being created by a bad-tempered, untrustworthy Raven who does most of his creating by swindling various other spirits.
 
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Wolfpaw

Banned
Manichaeism enjoyed a brief stint as the official religion of the Uighur empire. It'd be cool to see that spread, though its level of clericalism is even more parasitic than most religions.

Solism could've been cool if Constantine and his successors had decided to go the Neoplatonic route. Frankly, the Roman Empire could've benefited from some Confucianism.

Mazdakism could've been pretty revolutionary if the Sassanids hadn't nipped it in the bud.
 

Dr. No

The "anti-Buddhist" religion of Chandramoorthy from the Chaos TL.
Because you can always use a condom for good (contraception) and bad (drug mule) purposes.
 
Oracle of Sobek 𓆋

Oracle of Sobek 𓆋

karkris said:
I think that Pharaoh Akhenaton was the first monarch of the ancient world to propagate monotheism.Had he been successful in establishing Atenism and uprooting the old faiths, and had his successors followed his path,surely this new cult of the Imperial Egypt would have spread through the Middle East. Then it would have taken roots in ancient Greece and Rome. In that case Atenism could have become the greatest religion of the world.
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I think you need to take a look at my signature ;)
 

eliphas8

karkris said:
I think that Pharaoh Akhenaton was the first monarch of the ancient world to propagate monotheism.Had he been successful in establishing Atenism and uprooting the old faiths, and had his successors followed his path,surely this new cult of the Imperial Egypt would have spread through the Middle East. Then it would have taken roots in ancient Greece and Rome. In that case Atenism could have become the greatest religion of the world.
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Zoroastrianism had a similar idea to and it wasn't any more powerful than most of the religions of the time. The real problem is that Atenism has no real missionary tradition which will stop it from being spread around much. Another problem is that most organized regions connected you to the nation where they where founded very strongly (usually as some kind of tributary or vassal) and no ruler really wanted that and so they would prop up their religion at all costs.
 
Oracle of Sobek 𓆋

Oracle of Sobek 𓆋

eliphas8 said:
Zoroastrianism had a similar idea to and it wasn't any more powerful than most of the religions of the time. The real problem is that Atenism has no real missionary tradition which will stop it from being spread around much. Another problem is that most organized regions connected you to the nation where they where founded very strongly (usually as some kind of tributary or vassal) and no ruler really wanted that and so they would prop up their religion at all costs.
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That's primarily because Atenism in OTL had one (short) holy text and was basically monopolized by a single family. In my TL, I'm addressing those issues. The result is that my TL features an Atenism that expands upon the Atenism of OTL, giving it a broader appeal and a justification for evangelism.

(I realize I'm shamelessly plugging my own work, but it's relevant to the conversation, dammit! :p )
 

eliphas8

NikoZnate said:
That's primarily because Atenism in OTL had one (short) holy text and was basically monopolized by a single family. In my TL, I'm addressing those issues. The result is that my TL features an Atenism that expands upon the Atenism of OTL, giving it a broader appeal and a justification for evangelism.

(I realize I'm shamelessly plugging my own work, but it's relevant to the conversation, dammit! :p )
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I guess, I just dont see why it would become dominant while Zoroastrianism a very similar religion with even better conditions for its expansion did about as well as Atenism could hope to achieve (to compare Mesopotamia and Persia the only majority Zoroastrian places in the world, to compare it would make sense for Egypt, Nubia, and Phoenicia to be Atenist but not much else) I will give your TL a read when I have an opportunity though, it sounds good and we so rarely get decent Ancient Egypt TLs.
 

The Ubbergeek

eliphas8 said:
I guess, I just dont see why it would become dominant while Zoroastrianism a very similar religion with even better conditions for its expansion did about as well as Atenism could hope to achieve (to compare Mesopotamia and Persia the only majority Zoroastrian places in the world, to compare it would make sense for Egypt, Nubia, and Phoenicia to be Atenist but not much else) I will give your TL a read when I have an opportunity though, it sounds good and we so rarely get decent Ancient Egypt TLs.
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To be fair, Zoroastrism does have indeed real, solid roots.
 

Morty Vicar

Banned
I'm going to take the thread title literally and add that there never was a religion worshipping an anthropomorphic purple Tyrannosaurus Rex named Barney. Thankfully.

Although the religion is generally considered monotheistic there is a whole pantheon of demi Gods and human characters interwoven into the mythology. The Religions name itself is B'harneism. Many critics have suggested its is a cult rather than a religion.

B'harneism developed in the early 1990's when a Demonic entity calling itself Barney gained control of TV airwaves, and succeeded in brainwashing an entire generation of kids with seemingly inane songs. These songs contained hidden subliminal messages urging their followers to wreak havoc and murder non-believers. These songs have also proved useful in torturing inmates at Guantanamo Bay. Although the religion is usually practised in secret underground black mass, satanic child abuse and virgin sacrifice rituals, some of its adherants (called simply 'friends' or 'friends of Barney') are fairly high profile, including Glenn Quagmire (a fictional character from Family Guy) Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato, although its not known whether the latter two are in fact the same person. The spiritual home of B'harneism is at 'Barney's Backyard' in Florida, where the faithful congregate all year round.
 
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