D'ye ken John Peel? A Cumbrian timeline.

D'ye ken John Peel?

I :: D'ye ken John Peel wid his cwote sae grey? / D'ye ken John Peel at the breck o' day? / D'ye ken John Peel gayin' far, far away / Wi his hoons and his horn in a mwornin?

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Thursday 7th May 2015 :: BBC Election '15

David Dimbleby: Welcome to the BBC's election centre. In four minutes time the polls will close across the United Kingdom in what must count as one of the most fascinating and unpredictable ever. All of the results, whether they are from the Scottish Parliament, the Northern Ireland Assembly, the English councils or the devolved authorities in Cornwall, Cumbria and Yorkshire, will be brought to you as they happen. Jeremy Vine and the delights of his virtual world are here to explain it, as are our outside broadcast teams across the country.

On the sofa we have Nick Robinson, who will interrogate the key players for reaction as the night progresses.

Outside Broadcasting House we have Victoria Derbyshire and a giant map of Britain to give a perspective on the political battlegrounds that we have heard so much about over recent weeks, and joining me here on the top table are Professor John Curtice of Strathclyde University and Peter Kellner from the Institute of Policy Studies to provide us with the in depth analysis as the results flow in.

So, we better get started...

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Some say that the Cumbria crisis began with the fuel protests of September 2000. Some say it was with the death of 23 year old Rachel Branthwaite, in labour on the winding A595 road between Millom and the nearest maternity unit at Barrow-in-Furness after her husbands car ran out of petrol with no means of contacting the emergency services.

Whilst the death of Rachel Branthwaite was an undoubted tragedy, and raised questions in the House of Commons on mobile phone infrastructure and access to services in isolated rural areas, it was a very different animal that put Cumbria into the public eye and began the resurgence of a regional identity unique in England.


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The first case of the disease to be detected was at the Harrison and Hetherington auction mart in Kirkby Stephen on 15th February 2001 on sheep from a farm in Northumberland. The source was eventually traced to untreated pig swill on a farm near Heddon-on-the Wall, but by then it was too late. By the end of the month over 250 cases of Foot and Mouth disease had been reported in the United Kingdom, with Cumbria the location of an overwhelming majority.

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Nick Brown was vexed. Why couldn't Jack have still been in charge? It was his bloody patch after all. The farming and food industries thought that things were out of control. The veterinary profession was starting to lose confidence. So was Ann. So was Tony.

Hague had been on bloody good form at PMQs. You'd expect that from someone who represented one of the worst hit areas. He'd run rings around Tony, calling for the postponement of any plans for a May election. The last thing that was needed was a sodding Tory revival off the back of it.


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In February 2001 there were very few people that could tell you what a Cumbrian flag looked like, but by the close of March it had suddenly gained an element of worldwide recognition. The announcement by MAFF of a contiguous cull policy on 20th March, ordering the slaughter of all sheep within three kilometres of known cases, sent shockwaves through the Lakeland farming community. It was the following day, the 21st, when Joss Tyson, an elderly hill farmer from Caldbeck, hoisted the blue, white and green flag outside his farmhouse, before barricading himself inside to await the arrival of the men from MAFF. The bleakness of the northern fells might not have had the splendour of Wordsworth's Grasmere, but what the Uldale stand-off did have was a sense of pride and identity that many thought had been forgotten.

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For the sound o' the horn caw'd me fra my bed...
 
D'ye ken John Peel?

II :: Yes I kenn'd them aw an' morny things mair / An' could tell sec teayles as to meayke yen stare / How we ran down foxes and of'ns hare / Erte the hoar left the hills in a mwornin

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Friday 8th May 2015 :: BBC Election '15
Shortly after 12.30am

David Dimbleby: And that looks like it will be an interesting, albeit predictable, result for the Liberal Democrats in Orkney, part of the Westminster seat that they have held since Jo Grimmond won there in 1950. However, I'm told that we have some more interesting Liberal news from the counting centre in Carlisle, and Helen Skelton is there to tell us about it.

Helen Skelton: Thank you David. Yes, verification for Carlisle was completed a little over half an hour ago and, at least for the constituency seats in the district, there is seemingly a shift towards the Liberals at the expense of the Conservatives. However, rumours suggest that the SNP have failed to make a significant impact in the Longtown constituency where they were hoping to return a candidate standing on an NHS platform.

DD: Do people there really want to change their nationality for the sake of free prescriptions?

HS: It's been a key part of the debate here, with the argument made as to why someone should be paying almost ten pounds for medication that is free at the clinic two miles away over the border. The rumours, though, are that Longtown has firmly rejected the overtures from John Swinney in favour of a local independent.

DD: Any other news?

HS: We're starting to receive word of some of the constituency results from Barrow, where Lancashire First are hoping to have a good evening...

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The smell of burning flesh filled the air, the black smoke shrouding all that lay around it. Five thousand Herdwick. Two thousand Swaledale. Mrs Heelis would be turning in her grave.

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Auld Joss walked to the door, shotgun in hand. He looked at the men from the ministry.

Wheerst'a gaan? Tha's nut gaan in theer. There's nowt up wi m'beasts.

The ministry man held out a warrant.

But Mr. Tyson, this is essential if we are to stop the outbreak and prevent new infection...

Joss wasn't convinced.

Bugger tha rules and reg'lations. Tha's nut gaan in theer, I tellst'a.

It had been twenty-four hours since the stand-off started. They couldn't afford to turn a blind eye. Not now. The soldiers stood behind the ministry man moved forwards.

Ah'm warning thee.

Nobody thought he'd use it.

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Jonathan Powell knocked on the door and entered. He offered the note, saying only "Prime Minister, I think that you should read this."

Tony Blair opened the note and did as suggested. He looked up and looked at the window. They couldn't bury this. A few angry farmers, yes. But not someone discharging a shotgun. "Get Alastair in here. Now."

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The soldiers stood around the corpse. The police were doing their bit, but it was a right bloody mess. One of the coppers blamed the ministry. Look what you've bloody gone and done, he'd muttered.

Joss Tyson and his ancestors had farmed the northern fells around Uldale since the eighteenth century. Now he lay in a body bag, the first human victim of Foot and Mouth.

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The helicopter wanted a decent shot for the lunchtime. They got it. The flag fluttering in a hectic farmyard with Skiddaw as a back drop.

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For Peels view holla wad wekken the dead...
 
This is tasty as all get-out. A few childhood holidays aside, I wouldn't claim to know Cumbria well - but I do have numerous friends from the county, and it is part of my 'region', so I feel a certain affinity for the subject matter. And the writing is a delight.

The PoD is unusual, but not that implausible given the circumstances. That image of the flag against the Cumbrian countryside - a lone act of defiance that sparks a wave of... well, whatever comes next - is very powerful. And I like how the Cumbrian Assembly - covering a county which has, after all, only existed since 1974 - is facing irredentism from all sides...

Please continue - looking forward to more!
 
Thanks for the feedback. I've wanted to do this TL for quite a long time. It'll only be about 5 or 6 updates in total, so hopefully have it finished in a couple of weeks.
 
Subscribed. Evidently the General Election isn't happening in May 2015 so presumably that election cycle is different from OTL. Also the Scotland is having an election but Wales isn't suggesting they are either on different cycles which considering they have fixed terms is odd. Unless there isn't a Welsh Assembly and the 1997 referendum went differently but surely that's before the PoD. Intriguing.
 
Subscribed. Evidently the General Election isn't happening in May 2015 so presumably that election cycle is different from OTL. Also the Scotland is having an election but Wales isn't suggesting they are either on different cycles which considering they have fixed terms is odd. Unless there isn't a Welsh Assembly and the 1997 referendum went differently but surely that's before the PoD. Intriguing.
Thank you, and correct, the cycle is slightly different. The PoD is the fuel protests of autumn 2000. We've still got a UK General Election in 2001 though, and that'll be coming in in update #4. Scottish, Welsh and NI elections wouldn't clash with a UK election, hence why the dates are slightly different.
 
This is amazing. Keep writing this. I wonder if the Cumbric language revival is more of a thing here too
Thanks, appreciate that!

It's not so much Cumbric, which was the Celtic language spoken in parts of Cumbria until as late as perhaps 1200, but more Cumbrian dialect which is English with a plentiful selection of Old Norse derivatives. In a lot of ways it's comparable to Scots, so if there are any Broons or Oor Wullie readers here, it might look familiar. The version of "D'ye ken John Peel" that I'm quoting in the titles is the original Cumbrian dialect version, rather than the later Anglicised version that is more well known today.
 
D'ye ken John Peel?

III :: An we follot John Peel beath oft an' far / Ower rasper fence and yett an' bar / Frea low Dentonholm up to Scratchmere Scaur / When we vied for the brush in the mwornin

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Friday 8th May 2015 :: BBC Election '15
Just before 2.15am

Andrew Neil: I'm joined here on the sofa by Lord Ashdown and Lord Prescott and from our outside broadcast at Meadowbank in Edinburgh by Nicola Sturgeon. Ms. Sturgeon, a disappointing night for the nationalist parties across the UK?

Nicola Sturgeon: I disagree, Andrew. It's been an excellent night for the SNP so far. We've had success in Dundee and look to take at least one Glasgow seat from Labour...

AN: But that's hardly a success. What happened to the much talked about breakthrough that Mr. Swinney was talking about as recently as Tuesday? Is independence a dead duck? Are you turning into Mebyon Kernow?

NS: Er, no Andrew. Not at all, and I'm quite offended by the comparison. I don't think that it's fair to compare us to the regionalist parties in England. Our aspiration is for a free and sovereign Scotland, not a glorified county council.

AN: A glorified county council? John Prescott. You were the architect of the piecemeal devolution settlement in England. Is that what Yorkshire is? A glorified county council?

John Prescott: Well, Andrew. The Scottish people look like, once again, they are putting their trust in a Labour government...

Paddy Ashdown (interrupting): A coalition government, John. Yet again, you don't look like you'll have the numbers for an outright majority.

JP: As I was saying, putting their trust in Scottish Labour, and dismissing the rash nationalism of the SNP. However, back to your point Andrew, in my part of the world there has been clear and growing enthusiasm for the assembly in Leeds and the legislative powers are extremely significant.

AN: Paddy, you were saying?

PA: Andrew, what John has failed to deliver, and what Nicola doesn't seem to grasp, is that this United Kingdom needs a genuine federal system, not the patchwork assortment of contrived bodies that we have today. The saving grace of these bodies is that they do have a fairer electoral system than what we have at Westminster and are more representative of local opinion...

AN (interrupting): But Paddy, we all know that the government in these authorities has a tendency to be unstable...

PA: I prefer the term balanced, Andrew, and if Labour get a majority in Holyrood I will eat my hat.

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Friday 13th April 2001
The Lake District Visitor Centre at Brockhole, Windermere

It was dead. Good Friday? Don't make me laugh. One of the busiest weekends of the year and no bugger was coming. Even though the news was saying that the outbreak was under control and the number of new cases were stable, no one wanted to come. It was the same everywhere. Coniston. Keswick. Ambleside. It was only a matter of time until businesses folded.

The drive home to Ulverston was the usual routine. Sitting in a queue from Fell Foot, waiting for your car wheels to be hosed down with disinfectant at Newby Bridge. Other than where the disinfectant fella was, the roads were deserted. The only local person smiling this Easter was Peter fucking Rabbit.


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Kendal hadn't seen anything like it for years. The Easter Monday march was several hundreds strong and vocal with it. Of course, their main target was Nick Brown, the incompetent gowk. A few people had been talking about their idea in the pub at lunchtime for when the election came. A pro-countryside, pro Cumbria ticket

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The election had been expected on Thursday 3rd May 2001. It eventually came, along with rescheduled local elections seven weeks later on Thursday 21th June. The "Cumbrian Party" fielded a full slate in the six local constituencies. Of course, their electoral breakthrough never came, but their voice did manage to resonate in some quarters within the government.

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As the cry o' the hoons he often led
 
D'ye ken John Peel?

IV :: Yan, Taen, Tedderte, Medderte...

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United Kingdom General Election
Thursday, 21st June, 2001

Barrow and Furness
LAB John Hutton 19,964 (50.2%) (-7.1)
CON James Airey 11,642 (29.3%) (+2.1)
LDEM Barry Rabone 5,243 (13.2%) (+4.3 )
CUMB Michael Swarbrick 2,379 (6.0%) (n/a)
UKIP John Smith 548 (1.4%) (n/a)

Majority: 8,322
LAB HOLD

Carlisle
LAB Eric Martlew 14,652 (39.6%) (-17.9)
CON Mike Mitchelson 12,875 (34.8%) (+5.8)
LDEM John Guest 4.781 (12.9%) (+2.4)
CUMB Gladys Braithwaite 3,976 (10.7%) (n/a)
LEGALISE CANNABIS Colin Paisley 492 (1.3%) (n/a)
SOCIALIST ALLIANCE Paul Wilcox 247 (0.7%) (n/a)

Majority: 1,777
LAB HOLD

Copeland
LAB Jack Cunningham 15,438 (42%) (-16.5)
CON Mike Graham 13,421 (37.2%) (+7.9%)
LDEM Mark Gayler 4,135 (11.4%) (+2.2)
CUMB William Ritson (8.7%) (n/a)

Majority: 2,017
LAB HOLD

Penrith and the Border
CON David Maclean 23,975 (51.2%) (+3.6)
LDEM Kenneth Walker 9,847 (21.0%) (-5.7)
LAB Michael Boaden 6,954 (14.8%) (-6.8)
CUMB Miles Wilkinson 4,987 (10.7%) (n/a)
LEGC Mark Gibson 653 (1.4%) (n/a)
UKIP Thomas Lowther 425 (0.9%) (n/a)

Majority: 14,128
CON HOLD

Westmorland and Lonsdale
LDEM Tim Farron 21,973 (43.1%) (+9.6)
CON Tim Collins 21,432 (42.0%) (-0.2)
LAB John Bateson 3,467 (6.8%) (-13.8)
CUMB Timothy Bell 3,278 (6.4%) (n/a)
UKIP Robert Gibson 874 (1.7%) (n/a)
Majority: 541

LIB DEM GAIN

Workington
LAB Tony Cunningham 20,743 (51.2%) (-13.1)
CON Timothy Stoddart 13,576 (33.5%) (+9.0)
LDEM Ian Francis 5,437 (13.4%) (+5.3 )
CUMB John Twentyman 4,844 (11.9%) (n/a)
LEGALISE CANNABIS John Peacock 785 (1.9%) (n/a)

Majority: 7,167
LAB HOLD

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Pimp...
 
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Interesting update. Copeland is only 5% from falling and that would be fairly disastrous for Labour. Also while a the Cumbrian Party seems to be taking entirely from Labour with the Lib Dem and Conservative vote holding up. Though I wonder what has given Tim Farron an extra 2000 votes over OTL where elsewhere the Lib Dem total seems roughly the same?
 
Interesting update. Copeland is only 5% from falling and that would be fairly disastrous for Labour. Also while a the Cumbrian Party seems to be taking entirely from Labour with the Lib Dem and Conservative vote holding up. Though I wonder what has given Tim Farron an extra 2000 votes over OTL where elsewhere the Lib Dem total seems roughly the same?
Labour are getting punished, but the drops aren't that much bigger than OTL, and these certainly don't represent any national trend. The picture is a little more complex. The Cumbria Party is picking up votes from a small number of Labour, a small number of Tories and a number of voters who didn't vote in OTL. Labour are also losing votes to teh Tories and Lib Dems. The Cumbria Party are performing better as a protest vote in the safe seats, but less so in semi-urban Barrow and Furness, for instance. In Westmorland and Lonsdale, the Liberals have been far better at squeezing Labour and capturing the protest vote, hence the difference.
 
One thought that occurs: which flag does Joss Tyson raise over his farm? 'Blue, white and green' most closely matches the Cumberland flag, but it could technically cover the flag of Cumbria County Council (fwiw I hope it's the former; I just can't bring myself to like something with so many different chevrons as OTL's Cumbrian flag...).
 
One thought that occurs: which flag does Joss Tyson raise over his farm? 'Blue, white and green' most closely matches the Cumberland flag, but it could technically cover the flag of Cumbria County Council (fwiw I hope it's the former; I just can't bring myself to like something with so many different chevrons as OTL's Cumbrian flag...).
It's the Cumberland flag, which in recent years (certainly not as early as 2001 though) has fallen into common usage as a Cumbria flag, particularly in Westmorland, but also to a lesser extent in North Lonsdale.
 
Apologies for the lack of recent updates on this tale. The next one will be coming soon, but I've reached the point during Election '15 where I need to start doing some serious number crunching for Cumbria's results...
 
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