April 1, 1984
1530 Hours
Meeting of the Southwest Suburbs Cooperation Council
City Hall, Parma, OH
Attending:
Berea Mayor Jack Kafer
Brook Park Acting Mayor John O'Reilly*
Parma Mayor John Petruska
Parma Heights Mayor Paul Cassidy
Strongsville Mayor Walter Ehrnfelt Jr
Middleburg Heights Mayor Gary Starr
NOT PRESENT: Mayor of Olmsted Falls, Olmsted Township Trustee, Mayor of North Royalton
JP: Mayor Taylor isn't going to be here, his boy's sick.
JO: Radiation?
JP: Naw, flu.
JK: Thompson isn't going to show up either. I don't know why.
JP: Ok then. What in the fuck is going on in Cleveland? O'Reilly, don't you have ears inside?
JO: Yeah, my grandmother. Still lives on 30th and Hancock. Anyway, those snows we had? The refugees were the ones clearing it off the streets. Rumor has it they were dumping the stuff into the lake.
JK: JESUS CHRIST!
WE: Seriously? Dear Lord. Is this going to affect Avon Lake's quality?
JO: I don't think so, the currents work west to east, but...
JK: I'll have to get in contact with the Geology chair at BW and see if he has any flow charts for the lake.
JP: Yeah, do that. You might want to give Avon Lake a head's-up as well, Jack. Have them monitor the radiation levels in the water they pump in from the lake. Anything else out of the Mistake By the Lake, John?
JO: They're using a money system based on calorie intake, but what they're paying the workers at Republic Steel is only enough for a day's worth.
GS: Well, their cooperation council is called the CCCP after all.
JP: Wow. Not even George Forbes would have the balls to pull this one off.
PC: Forbes is on the leadership committee.
JP: I stand corrected, Paul. (Receives a memo from a staffer) Thank you, Nancy.
Nancy: Yes your honor.
JP: (Reads the memo) We have a situation, gentlemen. Apparently Republic Steel's been bombed.
GS: You're joking.
JP: I fucking wish. This says mass casualties. Paul, behind you there's a radio. Flip it on, it should be already tuned to WWWE.
(Cassidy turns on the radio
)
Radio: The Mayor is missing in a cowardly attack by enemies of the CCCP on Republic Steel, a vital cog in our war effort. The dissidents rigged bombs to explode during the Mayor's tour of the plant. We have called for our neighbors to help in this time of need.
JO: Fat fucking chance of that.
JP: Yeah. Wait a minute guys. (Picks up phone) Yeah, Chief Kovacic. Chief, Mayor Petruska. Yeah, I heard about Cleveland. Well, our equipment is down for maintenance. Yes, all five engine companies. Yes, including the ladder. Say it's rather unfortunate, we've been running them ragged during all this. I know, I know. If Cleveland wants our help-Yeah, no. Bye Chief. (To the members) If Cleveland calls on us for mutual aid, forget it.
JK: Yeah, same here.
JO: Ditto. "Oh gee, I'd like to send an engine or two, but that wall of yours is in the way."
(Group laughs)
JP: Cuyahoga Heights and Newburgh Heights are going to.
JK: They have no choice.
GS: Right in one. They're in a stranglehold.
JP: Poor guys. CCCP just may annex them.
JO: Don't even need a vote to do it either.
WE: I don't have to worry about the Hermit City coming to me, I got Gary and John between me and them.
(Group chuckles)
JP: Well, O'Reilly might want to put a few more cops near the Ford foundry. You can use some of my guys if you need them. CCCP may just "appropriate" it.
JK: I can send a few off-duties. The Patrol Post may be persuaded to send a few troopers as well.
GS: The boys that patrol the North Side are yours if it comes down to it.
WE: I can have a special detail sent. I'll talk to Brunswick and Medina too.
JP: Might be worth to alert Lorain. They may try to confiscate the US Steel plant.
(Members murmur agreement)
JP: Supplies holding out?
JK: Yeah, the Feds have been giving out rations at Baldwin Wallace and the high school.
GS: Same here at Midpark. St. Bart's is giving sanctuary.
JO: They've been giving out packs at the old tank plant.
JP: Good. That's a huge place. How many people are staying there?
JO: Air Force crews and those that came in on diverts, including Speedbird 21. I've instructed the police to see if there are any vacant houses in the city. May be a few vacationers that got caught.
JP: Good idea. I've talked to the realtors here and instructed them to open up the houses they have for sale to refugees.
JK: Baldwin Wallace has a couple empty dormitories. Some of the out-of-state students went to their homes to be with family. The empty space can be used for shelter. There's some vacant homes around too.
PC: Same here, not a lot, but some.
JP: Priority to families and couples, then no more than six to a house depending on the number of bedrooms. Four beds means eight max, but I doubt there are many on the market or "abandoned".
(Group gives agreement)
JP: Okay, have we heard from anybody out there? Medina County's alive, so's Lorain, Lake, Geauga, and Wayne. The Ag Extension folks have been helping out at Stearns Farmstead.
JK: Keep hearing something on 1370 AM. Country music, some oldies, civil defense announcements at the top of the hour.
GS: Isn't that a Toledo station?
JP: Maybe. See if you can't get an identity, Jack.
JK: Will do.
JO: My dispatchers have been montoring the CB and they keep hearing something faint out of Nebraska. All they can make out is the state.
JP: Good. We could use Nebraska farmland.
WE: 570 AM mean anything to anyone?
JO: Kitchener, Ontario.
PC: Couple stations in Kentucky broadcast on that freak.
JP: Think they'd be low power though.
GS: Youngstown?
JK: Very good possibility.
JP: It would be a boon if Youngstown's alive. All right, I want you guys to tell your dispatchers when they're not handling calls for service to broadcast channel and location over the open air. Let's see who we can get. Same time...
JK: Think it's my place. Avon and Avon Lake's going to sit in.
JP: Good. If anything develops between now and then, give a shout. We're all in this together.
All the mayors except for O'Reilly are real people. Gen_Patton gave me his OK to post this.