Alternate Private Eye Prime Ministerial Parodies

[Meadow]

Reminded by Thande in Chat of the traditional Private Eye 'Prime Minister page', which has in the last few iterations taken the form of a newsletter, I thought it might be fun to explore what the equivalents would be for various AH PMs that we hear about from time to time.

For context, here are the most recent few:

David Cameron: Headmaster's Newsletter at the Coalition Academy (school newsletter)
Gordon Brown: Directive from the Supreme Leader (Soviet spoof)
Tony Blair: St Albion's Parish Church (guitar-playing Vicar, parish newsletter)
John Major: The Secret Diary of John Major aged 49 3/4 (Adrian Mole)
Margaret Thatcher: Dear Bill (letters supposedly from Denis Thatcher to his friend Bill Deedes)

So, if Enoch Powell, Roy Jenkins, David Owen, John Smith, Reginald Maudling, Neil Kinnock, Shirley Williams, David Miliband, Rab Butler or other favourite AH PMs of the After 1900 forum had become Prime Minister, how would Lord Gnome and the gang have mocked them on a fortnightly basis?

 

[Tovarich]

My first thought for Owen would be expanding 'A Doctor Writes.....', but then they'd need a replacement for regular jokes about the NHS.
If Owen becomes a Labour PM in the '70s, rather than during the SDP's time, that may be close enough to 'Dr Finlay's Casebook' still being familiar enough to use.

For Butler, they could just play off the name and have him as a butler, the rest of the cabinet also being domestic servants.

Smith would be done as a string of letters from a bank manager, I expect.

 

[CiH]

David Cameron: Headmaster's Newsletter at the Coalition Academy (school newsletter)

With her previous career as Secretary of State for Education, Prime Minister Shirley Williams would be a good subject for the school newsletter meme.

I'm thinking specifically a rough 70's Grange Hill style comprehensive school, with her as the well-meaning but out of her depth headmistress. With the very likely assumption that there will be a fair bit of rough and tumble in the British politics of the era

 

[Thande]

Cool thread idea!

You forgot the two older OTL parodies preceding Thatcher-- "Mrs Wilson's Diary" (Harold Wilson) and "Heathco" (Ted Heath). The latter was I believe the first 'themed' parody, satirising Heath's attempts at monetarism by portraying him as the director of a swiftly sinking company (as in UK plc) and showing him as being more interested in sailing his yacht than running the company.

 

[Alex Richards]

Perhaps Mosely would have his history of switching between parties parodied by having a company director rebranding the company through name changes every edition.

 

[Thande]

I'm struggling to think of something for Roy Jenkins, though obviously his speech impediment and association with "the permissive society" would be in there somewhere, as would his Europhilia and probably a general wishy-washy, middle-of-the-road Alliance feel. Not sure what parody setting fits that though...

Enoch Powell would depend on the circumstances in which he became PM. If he avoids the racial controversy he might be presented as a stern university professor (or perhaps a Beano-style Teacher in a comprehensive) lecturing the rest of Parliament. If post-racial controversy, he'd probably be portrayed as an incongruously erudite version of Alf Garnett, in a similar way the Eye does today when presenting racist academics in the news in their "A Black Cab Driver Writes" segments.

 

[Meadow]

Had a thought about a David Miliband one in an ATL where his whispering campaign in 2009 actually became a successful coup. Depending on how he was personally perceived, he could be issuing dispassionate briefings in the style of a PWC-esque Administrator that's come in to take over the bankrupt Broon Corporation, similar to the first few Coalition Academy (formerly Brown's Comprehensive) newsletters.

If he was seen as more energetic and positive (as well he might have been), I can see him being portrayed as writing letters from a failing African republic where he and his charity/fellow missionaries are trying to pick up the pieces since the fall of the government. Would fit the probable narrative of the ATL, which would be that Miliband had taken over a sinking ship and proved unable to regain control.

'Letter from Labouria' would be the title of the second one, the first one perhaps a more perfunctory 'Miliband, Miliband and co. fortnightly briefing to stockholders'. Two Milibands to refer to Ed's probable promotion in the event of David becoming PM.

What about Gaitskell? Because of his known health issues (if he survives in this ATL) and tendency to get very emotional about things he could have a Dear Bill/Mary Wilson's Diary style piece from his doctor/psyche's perspective, told as a psyche report. EG 'Patient behaved erratically this week after claiming he had lost control of the "budget". In-patient H.Wilson assured me after an interview that this was quite normal.'

I think Williams as a tough but out of her depth Headmistress is spot on. What about Barbara Castle? Heseltine? Portillo? Dare I say it, Hague?

And what is Ed likely to get if Labour win under his leadership? I can see it being something like a Primary School Report Card. Throwing things slightly into future/alt present, what about a Balls tenure in Number 10? Osborne? A non-Coalition Cameron? David Davis?

 

[V-J]

I thought up a future one for BJ a while back... not that I'm going to tell you what it is.

Ohhhhhh, I do love irony.

 

[Meadow]

I thought up a future one for BJ a while back... not that I'm going to tell you what it is.

Ohhhhhh, I do love irony.

The irony is entirely lost on me, I assure you.

 

[V-J]

The irony is entirely lost on me, I assure you.

I have grounds to believe this statement is disengenuous.

 

[Magniac]

"Mrs Wilson's Diary"

Was this anything like the Observer's "Mrs Blair's Diary"?

Those were fairly softball compared to the harsher stuff in modern UK satire, from what I recall.

I thought up a future one for BJ a while back... not that I'm going to tell you what it is.

You calling Boris 'BJ', that's the clue, right?

 

[Lord Roem]

Great idea Meadow!

I think I did something similar in FTSOAS, although given that I haven't got around to posting them for over a year now (mainly because I've kept redrafting it and also forgetting) I won't mention the Hezza one.

I think that John Smith would have suited a Scottish version of "St. Albion", albeit with a more dour and Presbeterian bent (I am thinking of something like Stoneybridge Town Council off Absolutely.) Smith as a rather put-about lay preacher trying to get the tea money in order would fit him very well.

 

[V-J]

You calling Boris 'BJ', that's the clue, right?

That's not a mental image I want to savour thankyou. Despite my undoubted loyalty to the party there are some services to it a man refuses to contemplate.

I think that John Smith would have suited a Scottish version of "St. Albion", albeit with a more dour and Presbeterian bent (I am thinking of something like Stonybridge Town Council off Absolutely.) Smith as a rather put-about lay preacher trying to get the tea money in order would fit him very well.

I think there are only three possibilities for Smith:

• Abovementioned bank manager
• Your idea
• Head of a barristers chambers

 

[Lord Roem]

Oh! John Redwood's Prime Ministerial Parody would have to be something vaguely sci-fi, as would befit the Vulcan. Something like the "An-Glo Federation" fighting a Cold War against the encroaching "Dalors Empire" would work very well.

 

[Tovarich]

I'm struggling to think of something for Roy Jenkins, though obviously his speech impediment and association with "the permissive society" would be in there somewhere, as would his Europhilia and probably a general wishy-washy, middle-of-the-road Alliance feel. Not sure what parody setting fits that though...

Hmm, now if Jenkins is PM in early '80s, and as there was a 'Gang of 4', how about as part of a 'Young Ones' setting?
Jenkins as Neil (but clugging claret rather than smoking spliff), Owen as Mike, Rodgers as Vyvian, and Williams as Rik?
David Steel could be like Alexei Sayle, in it every week but totally ignored by the 'main cast'.

Michael Foot could even make occasional appearances as a college tutor, and Thatcher as college administrator holding back their student grants.

 

[Meadow]

John Prescott (somehow - perhaps the Granita explosion!) would be a newsletter of the Britannia Working Men's Club, I'm sure - in a nod to his cameos in St Albion's.

Michael Foot could be a hilariously out of touch dean at Albion College, Oxbridge. Very loquacious but utterly oblivious to the shagging, drugging and gambling going on throughout the college/economy/government. Each letter would end with a plug for his newest book.