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stories:ah.com_enterprise_-_main_characters [2019/03/29 15:14]
127.0.0.1 external edit
stories:ah.com_enterprise_-_main_characters [2020/02/10 19:18] (current)
eofpi Updating to new link format
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 - Smiling reassuringly once he reveals some horrifying condition or injury to a patient, and then quipping no less reassuringly "​Don'​t you worry, this won't hurt a bit !". \\ - Smiling reassuringly once he reveals some horrifying condition or injury to a patient, and then quipping no less reassuringly "​Don'​t you worry, this won't hurt a bit !". \\
 - Being a chick magnet, but being utterly clueless and chaste about it, for several reasons (much to the annoyance of other male crew members, who envy his inate ability).\\ - Being a chick magnet, but being utterly clueless and chaste about it, for several reasons (much to the annoyance of other male crew members, who envy his inate ability).\\
-**Musical leitmotifs:​** [[http://​www.alternatehistory.com/​discussion/showthread.php?​p=8695958#​post8695958|Soverihn'​s themes]] \\+**Musical leitmotifs:​** [[https://​www.alternatehistory.com/​forum/threads/​1/​post-8695958|Soverihn'​s themes]] \\
 **Custom equipment:​** His medical equipment, which includes menacing-looking hi-tech devices that make patients wince or pop their eyes out in terror. ​ **Custom equipment:​** His medical equipment, which includes menacing-looking hi-tech devices that make patients wince or pop their eyes out in terror. ​
  
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 - Going off on tangents about ATL election results and election polls. \\ - Going off on tangents about ATL election results and election polls. \\
 - Others taking jabs at the fact that whenever the Twin Fleet crewmen teleport down to the Socialist Kingdom of Wales in her home timeline, they always inexplicably land in what looks like a Welsh BBC Quarry...\\ - Others taking jabs at the fact that whenever the Twin Fleet crewmen teleport down to the Socialist Kingdom of Wales in her home timeline, they always inexplicably land in what looks like a Welsh BBC Quarry...\\
-**Musical leitmotifs:​** [[http://​www.alternatehistory.com/​discussion/showthread.php?​p=8695910#​post8695910|Turquoise Blue's theme]] \\+**Musical leitmotifs:​** [[https://​www.alternatehistory.com/​forum/threads/​1/​post-8695910|Turquoise Blue's theme]] \\
 **Custom equipment:​** Her super-resistant lab coat, overzised lab goggles, bottomless utility belt with sciency instruments that would make Batman green with envy.\\ **Custom equipment:​** Her super-resistant lab coat, overzised lab goggles, bottomless utility belt with sciency instruments that would make Batman green with envy.\\
  
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 - When someone tries something really risky, he proclaims that "He has had a good life". This is something of a catchphrase of his.\\ - When someone tries something really risky, he proclaims that "He has had a good life". This is something of a catchphrase of his.\\
 - Suffering Soverihn'​s and Abhakhazia'​s historical "​perversions"​ is a gag in itself for this character, of course (mostly due to him coming from a post-Carolingian ATL).\\ - Suffering Soverihn'​s and Abhakhazia'​s historical "​perversions"​ is a gag in itself for this character, of course (mostly due to him coming from a post-Carolingian ATL).\\
-**Musical leitmotifs:​** [[http://​www.alternatehistory.com/​discussion/showthread.php?​p=8850087#​post8850087|LSCatilina'​s themes]]\\+**Musical leitmotifs:​** [[https://​www.alternatehistory.com/​forum/threads/​1/​post-8850087|LSCatilina'​s themes]]\\
 **Custom equipment:​** Augmented Reality Spectacles (rather than regular glasses), a "​[[http://​en.wikipedia.org/​wiki/​Opinel|Pocket Seax]]",​ a translator device (it works only if "​fed"​ with fitting type of data). \\ **Custom equipment:​** Augmented Reality Spectacles (rather than regular glasses), a "​[[http://​en.wikipedia.org/​wiki/​Opinel|Pocket Seax]]",​ a translator device (it works only if "​fed"​ with fitting type of data). \\
  
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 **Appearance:​** Black hair, runner'​s build, 6'​0",​ Mediterranean complexion, fighting a losing battle with his 5 o'​clock shadow. \\ **Appearance:​** Black hair, runner'​s build, 6'​0",​ Mediterranean complexion, fighting a losing battle with his 5 o'​clock shadow. \\
 **Personality:​** While generally responsible on the surface, actually getting to know him proves otherwise. He will easily be the first to take a crazy risk if it seems fun or simply needs to be done. Usually found either in his office, learning a new language, or behind the ship's bar, which he runs and keeps well-stocked with historical and allohistorical alcoholic beverages. (Favorite drink is an amaretto sour, though the whiskey sour is an acceptable substitute).\\ **Personality:​** While generally responsible on the surface, actually getting to know him proves otherwise. He will easily be the first to take a crazy risk if it seems fun or simply needs to be done. Usually found either in his office, learning a new language, or behind the ship's bar, which he runs and keeps well-stocked with historical and allohistorical alcoholic beverages. (Favorite drink is an amaretto sour, though the whiskey sour is an acceptable substitute).\\
-**Biography:​** //Comes from [[http://​www.alternatehistory.com/​discussion/showthread.php?​p=8842988#​post8842988|a 20th century timeline]] that diverged from OTL probably during WWII. Implied to originate from that timeline'​s independent Montenegro, which is a rich, hip place, filled with seaside tourism and casinos. NIKOZNATE is a Linguistics and Egyptology nutjob, in the positive sense. Also, due to his mixologist skills, there are rumours that he might have worked as a bartender at Ouroborous, the famous Pub in the Hub of the Multiverse, after IAN left it to work in The Hub's administration.//​ \\+**Biography:​** //Comes from [[https://​www.alternatehistory.com/​forum/threads/​1/​post-8842988|a 20th century timeline]] that diverged from OTL probably during WWII. Implied to originate from that timeline'​s independent Montenegro, which is a rich, hip place, filled with seaside tourism and casinos. NIKOZNATE is a Linguistics and Egyptology nutjob, in the positive sense. Also, due to his mixologist skills, there are rumours that he might have worked as a bartender at Ouroborous, the famous Pub in the Hub of the Multiverse, after IAN left it to work in The Hub's administration.//​ \\
 **Running gags:**\\ **Running gags:**\\
 - Everyone makes mistakes, so he occasionally comes forth with embarrassing mistranslations leading to much hilarity (sometimes life-threatening,​ sometimes not).\\ - Everyone makes mistakes, so he occasionally comes forth with embarrassing mistranslations leading to much hilarity (sometimes life-threatening,​ sometimes not).\\
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 - The crew being disappointed that he doesn'​t fall under typical stereotypes about Russians (particularly the ones about alcoholism). \\ - The crew being disappointed that he doesn'​t fall under typical stereotypes about Russians (particularly the ones about alcoholism). \\
 - Bringing along his acoustic guitar and books for away missions, "just to avoid boredom"​. \\ - Bringing along his acoustic guitar and books for away missions, "just to avoid boredom"​. \\
-**Musical leitmotifs:​** [[http://​www.alternatehistory.com/​discussion/showthread.php?​p=8703577#​post8703577|January First-of-May'​s themes]] \\+**Musical leitmotifs:​** [[https://​www.alternatehistory.com/​forum/threads/​1/​post-8703577|January First-of-May'​s themes]] \\
 **Custom equipment:​** His acoustic guitar and portable collection of dusty old books, which he sometimes brings along for away missions if he's worried he or the others might get bored.\\ **Custom equipment:​** His acoustic guitar and portable collection of dusty old books, which he sometimes brings along for away missions if he's worried he or the others might get bored.\\
  
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 - Pointing out improbabilities in cartography,​ geography and geopolitics. \\ - Pointing out improbabilities in cartography,​ geography and geopolitics. \\
 - Complaining (in a calm voice) about the Photonic Paintbrush malfunctioning or being unable to handle a task.\\ - Complaining (in a calm voice) about the Photonic Paintbrush malfunctioning or being unable to handle a task.\\
-**Musical leitmotifs:​** [[http://​www.alternatehistory.com/​discussion/showthread.php?​p=8695850#​post8695850|Alex Richards'​ themes]] \\+**Musical leitmotifs:​** [[https://​www.alternatehistory.com/​forum/threads/​1/​post-8695850|Alex Richards'​ themes]] \\
 **Custom equipment:​** [[ah.com_enterprise_-_technology_and_devices#​photonic_paintbrush|Photonic Paintbrush]] **Custom equipment:​** [[ah.com_enterprise_-_technology_and_devices#​photonic_paintbrush|Photonic Paintbrush]]
  
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 **Appearance:​** Light brown haired, friendly but rather stoic face.\\ **Appearance:​** Light brown haired, friendly but rather stoic face.\\
 **Personality:​** Frequently melancholic. Fairly soft-spoken. A crew member known as a sane voice of reason filled with biting wit. If he gets into a long argument, his coherency will decrease rapidly. He is a rather modest man.\\ **Personality:​** Frequently melancholic. Fairly soft-spoken. A crew member known as a sane voice of reason filled with biting wit. If he gets into a long argument, his coherency will decrease rapidly. He is a rather modest man.\\
-**Biography:​** //Coming from the US of [[http://​www.alternatehistory.com/​discussion/showthread.php?​p=8844317#​post8844317|a timeline with a 19th or 20th century POD]], ABHAKHAZIA had travelled several Roman Empire timelines before coming into the employ of The Hub. He mostly spent his time wandering through the multiverse, gravitating towards Roman worlds until he just showed up at the Hub one day and went into school with SUPERMAN. Then, ABHAKHAZIA apparently did even more travelling, probably spending some more time in his first Roman timeline, and maybe going back home for a bit. He has kind of a dirty past that he doesn'​t like talking about, but the other crew members will mention it every once and a while to make him blush. Spends a lot of his time trying to get the idealistic SUPERMAN in line with his stark realism. Although a newer member of the crew, he is well acquanted with the ship and is basically the jack of all trades on board. Stashes a large collection of worn paperback history books from every timeline he comes across, fluent in English, German and Latin, and also known for stashing more of the ships alocohol (despite the fact he is almost never drunk.)// \\+**Biography:​** //Coming from the US of [[https://​www.alternatehistory.com/​forum/threads/​1/​post-8844317|a timeline with a 19th or 20th century POD]], ABHAKHAZIA had travelled several Roman Empire timelines before coming into the employ of The Hub. He mostly spent his time wandering through the multiverse, gravitating towards Roman worlds until he just showed up at the Hub one day and went into school with SUPERMAN. Then, ABHAKHAZIA apparently did even more travelling, probably spending some more time in his first Roman timeline, and maybe going back home for a bit. He has kind of a dirty past that he doesn'​t like talking about, but the other crew members will mention it every once and a while to make him blush. Spends a lot of his time trying to get the idealistic SUPERMAN in line with his stark realism. Although a newer member of the crew, he is well acquanted with the ship and is basically the jack of all trades on board. Stashes a large collection of worn paperback history books from every timeline he comes across, fluent in English, German and Latin, and also known for stashing more of the ships alocohol (despite the fact he is almost never drunk.)// \\
 **Running gags:**\\ **Running gags:**\\
 - A lot of exasperated sighing.\\ - A lot of exasperated sighing.\\
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 - He is willing to contemplate going to fight for the US in timelines where the Confederacy still exists. (In a more serious twist, there are some implications that his home timeline featured a bloodier and more traumatic American Civil War, where the Confederacy was involved in more nasty things than just slavery. This might cause some degree of tensions between him and crewmates born in a surviving CSA timeline (e.g. BACONHEIMER),​ though ABHAKHAZIA is always reasonable enough to not let his preconceptions get the better of him.)\\ - He is willing to contemplate going to fight for the US in timelines where the Confederacy still exists. (In a more serious twist, there are some implications that his home timeline featured a bloodier and more traumatic American Civil War, where the Confederacy was involved in more nasty things than just slavery. This might cause some degree of tensions between him and crewmates born in a surviving CSA timeline (e.g. BACONHEIMER),​ though ABHAKHAZIA is always reasonable enough to not let his preconceptions get the better of him.)\\
 - Has the hots for Natalie Dormer, like Petike and Nerupe have them for Ms. Coleman, but like most things, he's more quiet about it.\\ - Has the hots for Natalie Dormer, like Petike and Nerupe have them for Ms. Coleman, but like most things, he's more quiet about it.\\
-**Musical leitmotifs:​** [[http://​www.alternatehistory.com/​discussion/showthread.php?​p=8695884#​post8695884|Abhakhazia'​s theme]]\\+**Musical leitmotifs:​** [[https://​www.alternatehistory.com/​forum/threads/​1/​post-8695884|Abhakhazia'​s theme]]\\
 **Custom equipment:​** A 1910 Atlas from his home timeline that was a gift from his father, a [[http://​en.wikipedia.org/​wiki/​Spatha|spatha]] of extremely sharp steel he stole off a Carthaginian admiral in his "least favorite"​ Roman timeline. **Custom equipment:​** A 1910 Atlas from his home timeline that was a gift from his father, a [[http://​en.wikipedia.org/​wiki/​Spatha|spatha]] of extremely sharp steel he stole off a Carthaginian admiral in his "least favorite"​ Roman timeline.
  
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 - Is annoyed by too much routine and bureaucracy,​ often retalliating by acting like a bratty and whiny five year old.\\ - Is annoyed by too much routine and bureaucracy,​ often retalliating by acting like a bratty and whiny five year old.\\
 - In PSYCHOMELTDOWN or DAVE HOWERY fashion, has the hots for Jenna Coleman. He prays daily for the visiting of a timeline where he might get to meet an ATL version of her. This leads to a certain bit of jealous rivalry with [[offtopic:​NERUPE]],​ who harbours similar feelings.\\ - In PSYCHOMELTDOWN or DAVE HOWERY fashion, has the hots for Jenna Coleman. He prays daily for the visiting of a timeline where he might get to meet an ATL version of her. This leads to a certain bit of jealous rivalry with [[offtopic:​NERUPE]],​ who harbours similar feelings.\\
-**Musical leitmotifs:​** [[http://​www.alternatehistory.com/​discussion/showthread.php?​p=8692479#​post8692479|Petike'​s themes]] \\+**Musical leitmotifs:​** [[https://​www.alternatehistory.com/​forum/threads/​1/​post-8692479|Petike'​s themes]] \\
 **Custom equipment:​** Sky pirate cutlass, pirate-customised Roth-Steyr M1907 or Frommer Stop pistol, [[https://​en.wikipedia.org/​wiki/​Baton_%28law_enforcement%29|blackjack]] (a thief'​s baton), pilot jacket, aviator hat with brass goggles. **Custom equipment:​** Sky pirate cutlass, pirate-customised Roth-Steyr M1907 or Frommer Stop pistol, [[https://​en.wikipedia.org/​wiki/​Baton_%28law_enforcement%29|blackjack]] (a thief'​s baton), pilot jacket, aviator hat with brass goggles.
  
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 **Appearance:​** ​ \\ **Appearance:​** ​ \\
 **Personality:​** Is pretty smart, but tends to misspeak, and get distracted while doing important work.\\ **Personality:​** Is pretty smart, but tends to misspeak, and get distracted while doing important work.\\
-**Biography:​** //Some guy hailing from [[offtopic:​South Carolina]] of [[http://​www.alternatehistory.com/​discussion/showthread.php?​p=8844263#​post8844263|a timeline with a surviving CSA]]. Owns a well-preserved Ford Thunderbird look-alike, since 1950s-style cars are still popular in his home timeline (though there is no Ford in the CSA). He left his home TL around the age 22 for some reason. He has little contact with it these days. Some have speculated that his real name is supposedly "​Charles Edward Baconheimer III", but he maintains that "​Baconheimer"​ is not a proper part of it, but just a nickname. As he explains, his family is rich in South Carolina, where they control the pork industry. They own a chain of restaurants called "SC Barbeque House",​ which also has a storefront, selling bacon and other pork products. The restaurant'​s motto is "A tisket a tasket, a brisket basket"​. The family'​s estate is sometimes called "​Baconheim",​ due to it producing so much pork. When Charles Edward left his home timeline, he adopted that nickname as his last name, with an "​-er"​ added. Hence BACONHEIMER... After wandering the multiverse for a while, he joined the services of [[hub|The Hub]] and eventually got the job of the MES-2'​s main linguist.// \\+**Biography:​** //Some guy hailing from [[offtopic:​South Carolina]] of [[https://​www.alternatehistory.com/​forum/threads/​1/​post-8844263|a timeline with a surviving CSA]]. Owns a well-preserved Ford Thunderbird look-alike, since 1950s-style cars are still popular in his home timeline (though there is no Ford in the CSA). He left his home TL around the age 22 for some reason. He has little contact with it these days. Some have speculated that his real name is supposedly "​Charles Edward Baconheimer III", but he maintains that "​Baconheimer"​ is not a proper part of it, but just a nickname. As he explains, his family is rich in South Carolina, where they control the pork industry. They own a chain of restaurants called "SC Barbeque House",​ which also has a storefront, selling bacon and other pork products. The restaurant'​s motto is "A tisket a tasket, a brisket basket"​. The family'​s estate is sometimes called "​Baconheim",​ due to it producing so much pork. When Charles Edward left his home timeline, he adopted that nickname as his last name, with an "​-er"​ added. Hence BACONHEIMER... After wandering the multiverse for a while, he joined the services of [[hub|The Hub]] and eventually got the job of the MES-2'​s main linguist.// \\
 **Running gags:** \\ **Running gags:** \\
 - Scotophile.\\ ​ - Scotophile.\\ ​
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 - Gets bored and reads internet things when he's supposed to be working.\\ - Gets bored and reads internet things when he's supposed to be working.\\
 - Waking up with weird dreams. \\ - Waking up with weird dreams. \\
-**Musical leitmotifs:​** [[http://​www.youtube.com/​watch?​v=Hn_s8K10xFE|Bacomheimer'​s theme]] [[http://​www.alternatehistory.com/​discussion/showthread.php?​p=8770967#​post8770967|and other themes]] \\+**Musical leitmotifs:​** [[http://​www.youtube.com/​watch?​v=Hn_s8K10xFE|Bacomheimer'​s theme]] [[https://​www.alternatehistory.com/​forum/threads/​1/​post-8770967|and other themes]] \\
 **Custom equipment:​** Antique Mauser pistol (because its cool). \\ **Custom equipment:​** Antique Mauser pistol (because its cool). \\
 **Custom vehicle:** A shiny red Ford Thunderbird from his home timeline (in storage on the ship).\\ **Custom vehicle:** A shiny red Ford Thunderbird from his home timeline (in storage on the ship).\\
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 - If it has a microchip, he has a hard time using it.\\ - If it has a microchip, he has a hard time using it.\\
 - Outdated humor.\\ - Outdated humor.\\
-**Musical leitmotifs:​** [[http://​www.alternatehistory.com/​discussion/showthread.php?​p=8694921#​post8694921|pieman97405'​s themes]] \\+**Musical leitmotifs:​** [[https://​www.alternatehistory.com/​forum/threads/​1/​post-8694921|pieman97405'​s themes]] \\
 **Custom equipment:​** His shotgun (called Mabel), used for slaying all sorts of critters infesting the deepest, darkest corners of the ship's storage rooms.\\ **Custom equipment:​** His shotgun (called Mabel), used for slaying all sorts of critters infesting the deepest, darkest corners of the ship's storage rooms.\\
  
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 **[[stories:​ah.com comedy index|Return to Index of AH.com-based Comedies]]** ​   **[[stories:​ah.com comedy index|Return to Index of AH.com-based Comedies]]** ​  
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stories/ah.com_enterprise_-_main_characters.txt ยท Last modified: 2020/02/10 19:18 by eofpi